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A Lot On His Mind

Summary:

Michael brings Gob along with him to get the movie rights back from Kitty through…”persuasion”. Unfortunately for Michael, there’s something Gob’s been working to confront as of late that just might get in the way of his plan.

Notes:

For context, this takes place during episode six of season five.

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“I believe in you, you can do her.”

“What?”

“-This, you can do this…to her.”

Gob stood, facing away from his brother as he heard Kitty approaching.  Michael had brought him along to persuade her into giving them…Well, he was supposed to get something.  What it was, he couldn’t remember but he’d deal with that later…

And although it hadn’t been specified through direct instruction, he had to assume that, by ‘persuade’, Michael meant ‘sleep with’ but he was hoping to god that maybe, this time, that wouldn’t have to be the case.  

Not that he would’ve likely asked Gob to do this if that wasn’t the case but hey, a man could dream.

Gob wasn’t sure if he should’ve been paying attention to what Michael and Kitty were saying but he couldn’t get his thoughts to slow down enough to try and process what they were saying.  His heart was beating fast and loud and he felt sick to his stomach just at the idea of sleeping with a woman; just like it had every time he and his dad went looking for women to sleep with on their Mexico trip.  He did like spending time with his dad but god, he felt so awful throughout the whole thing.  He felt like a phony, terrified that, at any moment, his dad would realize his son was gay and toss him to the curb.

Hearing his name, Gob turned around, putting on the best smile he could.  Unfortunately, his best smile looked less like a smile and more like a look of dread.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Kitty said, bearing a wide smile and placing her hands on her hips.

“I was gonna say, they look kinda puffy and red,” Gob replied, looking over to Michael.

Kitty laughed, although he wasn’t really sure why(he didn’t think he’d made a joke).  Usually he’d try and play along when this happened but he felt too awful to even think about putting up a front.  It didn’t help that her laugh was super annoying, too.  Unlike Tony’s laugh.  God, he had such a pretty laugh.  He wished Tony was here so he could hear it.

“You guys clearly need to get a room, huh?” Michael teased.

“Right?” Kitty said, eagerly smacking on her gum.

Gob winced.  He knew this was coming.  How had he used to be able to make himself do this?

“Hey, why don’t you guys actually get a room and I can go say hi to Ron?” Michael prompted.

“He’s not in the office today,” Kitty said frankly.  “He has some family event.”

“Oh, is that today?”

“But since he’s not here,” Kitty continued, eyeing Gob up and down.  “How would you like to get inside of a L.E.M?”

Gob felt his stomach knot.

“If I could ju- Um…Michael?”

“Yep?” Michael said, following Gob off to the side.

“I, um, I’m sorry I can’t do this-”

“No, no, no-” Michael said, cutting him off.  

The two, stubborn as they are, were determined to get their points across.  Unfortunately, it seemed neither were willing to hear each other out.

“There’s no way-”

“Come on, Gob, you can-”

“I can’t do it.  I can’t-”

“-do it.  You’ve done it before-”

“Michael, please.  Please, I can’t-”

“You gotta do this, it’s for the-”

“I think I’m gay!”

“You can-…”

Michael paused, turning to look at his brother. 

Well, that seemed to do the job.

Gob stared straight ahead of him, his eyes wide with fear.

“You think you’re what?”

Gob could feel his heartbeat speeding up again, along with his breathing.  His mouth hung open but he was unable to get any words out.  After a moment, he slowly broke from his frozen state and shakily covered his face with his hands.

“Dammit, why did I say that-” he muttered to himself.  “Why did I say that…”

“So…does this mean I’m not gonna be sleeping with you?”

Michael jumped at Kitty’s voice, spinning around to see that she was standing directly behind them.

Michael opened his mouth to speak looking from Kitty to Gob and then back at Kitty again.  He sighed.

“You still wouldn’t be willing to discuss the movie rights, would you?”

Kitty just rolled her eyes.

“Goodbye, Michael,” she said, starting to walk away before turning back around at the last second.  “This is the last time you’re gonna see-”

“Oh, please don’t-” Michael said, wincing.

“-this lobby!  Cause I don’t wanna see you around here any more!”

“Oh,” he said, sighing with relief.  “I thought you-”

“You thought what?” she said, narrowing her eyes.

Michael froze.  “Uh…”

He looked over to his brother.

“I gotta…See you la- Er, never…”

Kitty huffed before promptly walking away.

Michael turned back to his brother, who was still in a state of disarray.

“Hey, Gob,” Michael said.  “You…You said something…before…”

“Mhmm,” he said tensely, his voice high and strained.

“And…Were you…Were you being serious?  That wasn’t a joke?”

Suddenly, Gob brought his hands down as he turned to his brother, hesitating before he spoke.

“Can it be?” he said, looking almost hopeful.

“Was it a joke or not, Gob?” Michael said flatly.

Gob stared at Michael for a while, trying to force the words out of his throat.  His face scrunched into a panicked grimace.  

Michael growing impatient, said, “So is that a n-”

“Yyyyyyyyyyyy—”

“…So it was a joke,” Michael said doubtfully after a moment.

“—yyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaa—”

“Yes?  The answer is yes?”

“—aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm…”

Michael blinked.

“Yarm?”

Gob stared at him blankly, unsure of whether to change his ‘story’ or double down.  Fortunately, before he could dig a deeper hole, Michael moved on from the frankly embarrassing fumble.

“Gob, if you’re worried I’m upset or mad at you, I’m not…Er, well, I’m not upset with you for being gay.”

The tension in Gob’s face loosened into a look of hopeful doubt and Michael felt a little sad that his brother apparently seemed surprised to know that he’d be supportive.

“R-really?” Gob asked.

Michael tilted his head sympathetically.

“Of course, Gob.  Why would I be?”

Gob looked down at his feet.

“I dunno,” he shrugged, nervously laughing a bit.  His face fell.  “I guess you were always just close with mom and dad so…”

Michael’s expression softened and he put a hand on Gob’s shoulder.

“Well, I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear enough,” he said, fully sincere.  “I don’t care who you like.  I mean, what’s that thing you always say?”

Gob thought for a moment.

“Illusion?”

“No, no, I mean-”

“Your name?”

“How are either of those things relevant?”

“You asked what I always say.”

“Okay but- Ugh, I’m talking about…That other thing.”

Gob just shrugged.

“Well, whatever it is…Just…Love whoever you want.”

Gob smiled slightly, looking down.

“…I will.”

“…So,” Michael said after a moment.  “When’d you figure this all out?”

Gob’s eyes suddenly went wide and he froze.  Michael watched awkwardly, not entirely sure of what to do.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t-”

“Mikey?” Gob interrupted.

“Yeah, Gob?” Michael said, slightly confused.

“I have another thing I need to tell you…”

“Well, I’m all ears buddy.”

Gob looked down at his feet nervously and fidgeted with his hands.

“I…” he began, before taking a breath and squeezing his eyes shut.  “…IgaveyouaforgetmenowonCincoI’msorry.”

“You- Hold on, what did you do?”

“I said I’m sorry!”

“No, I didn’t- I didn’t hear what-…Did you say something about a forget-me-now?  And something about Ci…” Michael’s face fell, recalling how he recalled, well…nothing.  “Wait, did you drug me?”

“Yeah, I just told you that,” Gob said, trying not to sound impatient.

“What the hell, Gob?”

“I said I’m sorry!” he reiterated.

“Why did you give me a forget-me-now?”

“You-” Gob began, trying to find the words, looking everywhere but Michael.  He lowered his voice(not that he didn’t just loudly announce he was gay but, hey, no need to draw any more attention to the fact).  “You caught me with-”

“Another man?” Michael suddenly interrupted, the taste of vague familiarity on the tip of his tongue.  Flashes of memories began to trickle in and suddenly the timeline of that night began fall into place.  

“Yeah,” Gob said, looking down shamefully.  “I- I just panicked.  You just yelled at me and-”

“I yelled at you?” Michael said, his attention caught. 

”I knew it!  I always knew it!”

Michael’s brow furrowed.

“Yeah, something about how you knew I was…”

Michael breathed a laugh and Gob frowned, a look of anger taking his formerly timid expression.

“It’s not funny!” Gob said forcefully.

Michael cleared his throat.  “No, no, it’s…Not funny at all.  That wasn’t a, uh…Not an appropriate reaction.”

Gob pouted for a moment longer before his face fell again.

“Wasn’t even worth it since…since you know now so…”

“I mean, I would’ve pretty much known either way…”

Gob shot him a look.

“Just saying,” Michael said, holding up his hands innocently.

Gob sighed.  “And on top of that, the guy…he totally ghosted me… He took a forget-me-now so he doesn’t even…He doesn’t even remember any of it…” Gob said, his eyes beginning to look a little far off.

“Is it that guy, that-that Tony Wonder guy?  The magician?”

Rival magician,” Gob corrected.  “…And yes.”  He paused, looking over at Michael with narrowed eyes.  “How’d you know?”

“It tickled me.  His beard tickled me.”

“…Let’s just call it a brother’s intuition…”

Gob sighed, crossing his arms tiredly.

“Out of curiosity…How long have you known?”

“About Tony?” Michael asked.

“About me being…”

Michael nodded.

“Pshhh, uh, I dunno…A long time, I guess.”

“Like, since when?” Gob said, gesturing expectantly.

Michael shrugged.

“High school, probably.”

“High school?” Gob said, sounding offended.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t I tell you you were gay?”

“Yeah!”

“I mean, it’s not like we-”

We?!   How many people know?”

“I dunno,” Michael said, thinking to himself.  “Me and Lindsay at least.”

“What?!  And she didn’t tell me either?

“It’s not like we knew for sure, Gob.”

Gob crossed his arms.

“Well, you sure seemed sure of it on Cinco.”

”If you were ashamed of being in love with a man…”

”All you ended up doing was proving that your feelings were real…”

”’Homo much?’”

“Didn’t you go on a…a hypothetical rant about being in love with and sleeping with a man?”

”I mean, yeah, but…How’d you…”  Gob sighed.  “That’s what I get for buying forget-me-nows cheap…”

Michael just nodded.

”Anyway, I did, yeah, but I didn’t use myself in the hypothetical scenario so for all you knew, it could’ve been about…My son, Steve.”

”Well, I think it would’ve been pretty clear that it was about you after I then proceeded to catch you with a man not long after.”

Gob paused, his eyes darting around in thought.

“Okay, sure, fine, I guess that makes sense…But all the way back to high school?  How-How’d you guys know?”

“You actually wanna know?” Michael asked doubtfully.

Gob nodded.

 Michael sighed.

“Apart from the movies you’d watch—”

“Wait, the movies?  What-”

“—There were a couple guys throughout high school who you’d talk about all the time who you clearly liked,” Michael continued.

Gob felt himself freeze at the reminder, his cheeks feeling hot.

“And, to keep going for the sake of the point, you were in the Hot Cops and I’m pretty sure a guy we talked to at your work this one time was dating you or…I dunno, it seemed you two had some sort of relationship.  Also, it was a group of gay strippers so…”

“It’s the 21st century, Michael!  Straight people can work with gay strippers if they want to!”

“Yeah, I know that.  But you’re gay.”

Gob just rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.  Michael was silent for a moment and Gob assumed he was done but after a moment, to Gob’s displeasure, he continued.

“Oh, Gary!  I remember wondering if there was something between you two a couple times after some things you said; can’t remember what.  Oh, and that time I walked in on some guy sitting on your lap.”

Michael cringed at that memory.  So did Gob.

“Okay, Michael, I get it-”

“You’ve called guys hot on multiple occasions before.”

“I said I-”

“And the other day, you said something about Tony Wonder’s beard tickling you.  There’s definitely other stuff but that’s all I can remember off the top of my head; you can ask Lindsay, I’m sure she has more instances.”

Gob pouted.

“…Okay, well, since I was apparently so incredibly obvious, it really doesn’t seem that impressive that you guys knew,” Gob said after a moment.

Michael rolled his eyes and pretended he didn’t feel offended by the slight at his observational skills.

They were silent for a moment.  Gob cleared his throat and laughed nervously.  Michael looked up expectantly.

“Not that I…Not that I care but…Don’t tell mom and dad…or anyone…Okay?”

“Well, you’re gonna have to tell people someday-”

“I know!” Gob began, frustration lacing his tone.  He sighed.  “I know that I’ll have to…Not yet, okay?”

“I never said you had to do it right now.  I was just saying-”

“Well, you don’t need to tell me!” he said, throwing his hands in the air.  Michael watched as lighter fluid squirted out from the sleeves, which Gob did not acknowledge(whether it was out of embarrassment or because he genuinely didn’t notice, Michael didn’t know).  

“Cause I know!…I’ve been thinking about it every day…How-how mom and dad are gonna cut me off for good…I’ve been thinking about how Tony and I…He’s the reason I even made it this far and…and I don’t know if we’re ever going to be able to be together; he hasn’t been returning any of my calls.”

Gob was quickly devolving and Michael felt his heart hurt as his brother began to cry.

“And it’s- it’s not like any other relationship I’ve ever been in.  We have something, Mikey…He…He understands me and…and he makes- me- so- happy,” Gob cried, his sobs stuttering his words.  “I-I don’t wanna lose him.”

“Hey, Gob.  It’ll be alright.  Everything’s gonna work itself out eventually, I’m sure of it,” Michael said, awkwardly reaching out a hand to pat his brother’s shoulder.  But as soon as he touched it, Gob pulled Michael into a tight hug.

“I really hope so, Mikey,” Gob said through a now stuffy nose, taking a shaky breath before whimpering, “You’re a good brother.”

“Well, I’m always happy to help.”

Michael stood there stiltedly, waiting for his brother to finally let go, as Gob squeezed tighter.

“I…I really am sorry for what I did on Cinco, Mikey.”

“Hey, don’t say that.  Sleeping with a- a man is nothing to be-”

“No, no, I mean…I’m sorry about making you take the forget-me-now.”

“Oh…” Michael said.  Somehow, he’d entirely forgotten about that.  “I…I know, buddy,” Michael said, patting his back.  “…I forgive you.”

Gob hesitated.

“Really?”

“As long as you promise to never do that again.  To me or anyone else.”

Gob sniffled.

“I promise.”

Gob let go and wiped the tears from his eyes.  He was wearing a sad smile.  Michael smiled back.

“Now, come on,” Michael said, ushering Gob along with him to the door.  “Let’s get outta here.  I’m definitely not gonna be getting those movie rights back so there’s no point in sticking around here any longer.”

“Oh, so that’s what we were here for?…You still hadn’t gotten that off the ground yet?”

“Shut up.”