Chapter Text
Vegas had not moved from his place ever since Pete left. He was still reeling from having Pete run away after Vegas's pathetic attempt at a confession.
His tears had dried but his eyes were aching. His legs were numb and so was his mind.
He was just waiting for Pete to come back so he could tell him to forget it. To go back to how they were. He did not need anything else. He just wanted to be with Pete.
The guilt he had felt through the bond, the shock and then the regret and fear… They were not good indicators. Vegas felt so disgusted with himself for having made Pete feel that way. Were his feelings so grotesque to Pete that it evoked such emotions?
Vegas did not want to believe so. He still hoped that Pete would see understand once Vegas talked to him.
It was growing darker. But Pete still did not return.
Vegas grew antsy. He stood up on shaky legs, almost stumbling because of the numbness in them. He could only pick up some muddy emotions through the bond, as if Pete was far away.
Why was Pete not returning? Did he go to town like he had planned?
Vegas felt scared.
He did not want to think of another possibility, the one which would probably kill him. The one question that plagued his mind ever since Pete had run away.
Did Pete leave?
***
Just as Vegas was about to go to Nob's house to check if Pete was there, Tong arrived with Macau and Pong in tow.
Her expression was solemn. Macau looked angry. He was glaring at Vegas as if he had done something wrong.
It made Vegas pause.
Had he done something wrong? Vegas couldn't be sure.
"What happened?" Vegas asked.
"Pete asked me to tell you he's going to the Main Pack," she said.
"Main Pack?" Vegas whispered, his worst fear coming to realisation, "S-So suddenly?"
"I know… He seemed to be in a hurry. He didn't say why he was leaving. He asked me to tell you that none of it was your fault and that he wants you to be happy," Tong said, "Vegas, what's this about?"
Vegas's knees gave out and he fell to the ground.
Even while rejecting Vegas, he was so kind.
"I… I'm an idiot," he whispered, "I did something I shouldn't have done and now… But he can't leave me, right? We're bonded," he asked Tong urgently, "We won't be able to be apart for long. He…"
Then he remembered how Pete did not really care about living or dying. That he had chosen death over Vegas countless times before.
"So death is better than… than being with me?" Vegas mumbled, rubbing at his eyes furiously as he teared up, "What about me, though?"
As he was reeling from the overwhelming emotions of dread and abandonment, Macau put the final nail in his coffin. Anger rolled off of him as the young alpha almost charged at him. He would have hit Vegas if Tong had not held him back. Even little Pong was clinging onto him to stop him.
"What did you do to him?" Macau cried, "What did you do? He left! He left because of you! What do you mean death? What does that mean? Tell me! What did you do?!"
"Macau! Stop it," Tong scolded, struggling to hold him back from hitting Vegas.
Vegas stared at him, shocked. Macau was not violent at all. He had never seen him like this. The last time Macau had been this hysterical was the day his mother had passed away. Vegas had been the one who consoled him.
"I-I'm sorry," Vegas said, moving to get close to his brother to comfort him like he had on that ill-fated day, "I… I'll bring him back. I promise you, I'll-"
Macau pushed him away, face scrunched into an ugly snarl.
"Pa was right! You ruin everything!"
Hearing Macau say that stunned Vegas. He let Macau's small fists beat him up, not even making a sound.
He deserved it. He deserved every bit of it.
The sound of a slap cracked through the frenzy.
Macau clutched his cheek, shocked at the slap. Tong lowered her raised hand and sighed.
"Do you see your brother's face, Macau?" She asked, "Do you think he is capable of hurting Pete?"
Macau glanced at Vegas who was still staring at him in shock.
"He is already in so much pain. Can't you see that?" Tong asked gently, eyes glossed over with tears.
Vegas was in pain. It was so much that it felt like a tangible thing.
Macau's lips wobbled as fat tears leaked from his eyes.
"Phi…" Macau whispered, "I…I…"
Vegas shook his head, pulling his brother into his arms.
"You're angry because he left. I understand… You were right. He left because of me," Vegas said softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't think he would leave. I… I just…"
"Will he never come back?" Macau's voice trembled as he asked the question.
Vegas held him tighter as he whispered truthfully,
"I don't know."
***
Vegas considered going after Pete. It did not matter that it was already dark outside. He would follow Pete anywhere, whether it be in light or darkness.
But the more he thought about it, the more scared he got.
Pete had been kind enough to not reject him to his face. He had chosen to leave because he did not accept Vegas's feelings even though Vegas had sprung them on him out of nowhere. Maybe he would reach out to Vegas to come to an understanding later on because he knew that Pete was too kind to let him die.
But if he went after Pete, Vegas was scared that he would have to face that rejection. He did not know what he would do in that case. Even now, he felt a little numb, like the situation had not really sunk in. He was hoping Pete would show up suddenly and tell him it had all been a nightmare.
But there was no one around.
The house felt cold and empty.
Did Pete really choose death over me? Vegas thought, hiding his face into the crook of his elbow.
Was he really that surprised? Vegas had treated him like shit in the past. Was it really so unusual that Pete would decide to forsake him like this?
I don't want him to die.
Vegas rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling.
"He doesn't have to die," Vegas whispered to himself, "Not if I die first."
***
The Main Pack was buzzing with activity.
Pete's declaration had caused quite the stir. As promised, Kinn had taken off to prepare to leave for the Minor Pack the next day. He had to carry out his promise to Pete no matter whether Pete lived or died.
Since the physician was brewing the antidote, Pete was free to be on his own in the meantime. Tankhun and Porsche had decided to keep him company and to keep an eye on him.
Pete was flanked by Porsche and Tankhun on either side of the bed.
The numbness had already settled into his limbs. Pete tried not to think too much about it. He kept his mind occupied thinking of good things, like going back to Vegas with working limbs and answering his question.
"It's going to be okay," Porsche whispered, wrapping an arm around Pete’s middle, "Bol is a miracle worker. He will make sure you're okay."
Pete hummed, "Hope so…"
"How did it come to this? And how did you even know it would happen for you to ask Kinn to avenge you?" Tankhun asked.
"It's a long story…"
"Well, I don't think any of us are sleeping tonight," Porsche muttered.
Pete sighed. He started telling bits and pieces of the story. By the time he was done, Tankhun was staring at him with wide eyes.
"Goodness, Pete… were you just going to die… without even trying?" he demanded, "If whatever Vegas said didn't change your mind, you'd have just waited for your death?"
Pete grimaced.
"I… I don't know to be honest," he murmured, "At that time, there was only one thing in my mind. I was happy that Gun had stepped into my trap and that Khun Kinn could get rid of him. After that, Vegas would have been free. That's all I cared about. I just wanted him to be happy. But… I didn't realise his happiness was linked with me. Or so he claimed. I still don't fully understand. But I have to live to understand what Vegas meant by…"
If something happens to you, I'll climb your very pyre and accompany you to the afterlife.
If you die, I won't exist in this world either.
I can't go on without you.
Pete had goosebumps just remembering the words.
Till that moment, Pete had not considered that Vegas felt anything for him. He had thought that Vegas's care for him stemmed from the Bond they shared, which although forced, was still powerful enough to keep them together. And being together with someone, you get used to them. It was not some profound emotion that transcended all odds. It was just a relationship borne out of necessity. A habit of sorts.
So when Vegas had kissed Pete and confessed so ardently, it had thrown Pete off guard. Those words were not meant for someone whom you were just habituated to. They were meant for someone precious.
And Vegas had said those words to Pete.
"Wait, did you not tell him anything about this?" Porsche asked, "You just came here without talking to Vegas?!"
Pete shook his head, feeling sheepish.
"I just… I got so scared… He looked so terrified at the thought of me dying… I never… I never… thought of living for another person before that moment. Dying for someone is so much easier…" Pete mumbled, "I could not tell him that I might die. What if this doesn't work? How can I…? I… I…"
"You should have told him," Porsche reprimanded, "If what you say is true then he cares about you. Besides, he is your mate. He has the right to know."
"He might have an inkling through the Bond, right?" Tankhun asked.
"When so far away, it's all muddled up. The feeling of uneasiness doesn't go away even in normal circumstances," Porsche answered, "Vegas would just be feeling like shit because of the separation and not know if anything is wrong with Pete. Unless..." he trailed off, leaving the rest to interpretation. It was not hard to guess what Porsche was implying.
Guilt ate away at Pete's heart.
"If everything goes well, I'll be returning in a few days. I'll explain everything to him," Pete said to reassure himself more so than others, "He might be a little mad but I know he'll come around."
"I'm honestly surprised a hardhead like Vegas is capable of love," Tankhun muttered.
Just the word was enough to make Pete's heart quicken. He had not let himself think about it.
But when put in words, it couldn't be clearer.
"He is more than capable," Pete said softly, "He shows it, rather than tell."
***