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Mei Terumi.
Anko Mitarashi.
Shizune.
Kurenai Yuhi.
That was only the beginning of the long list that the elders had presented Kakashi with just five minutes before he was supposed to call it a day and head home for the night.
A list of ‘acceptable marriage candidates’ according to Koharu. The fact that Mei, the Mizukage, was on the list at all told Kakashi all he needed to know about their desperation to marry him off as quickly as possible.
Giving it one more look over, he placed it down on his desk and shoved it back toward them. “No.”
Homura was the first to respond, rage burning in his eyes as he snatched the list off of Kakashi’s desk. “You’ve barely even looked at it!”
That was a lie. Kakashi had examined it three times and struck each person off one at a time, with very good reasons for why he would never marry them.
“You are a bachelor, Lord Sixth,” Koharu insisted. “A young bachelor. It’s unbecoming of a Hokage bot to have a partner.”
“Lord Second,” he spoke calmly, reminding them of their very own Sensei who had reigned as Hokage, a bachelor. “Lady Tsunade.”
“Lady Tsunade was in her fifties when she took the position of Hokage,” Koharu argued. “And her partner has been long dead. No one expected her to move on.”
“Yet you expect me to marry for, what? To make the village look better?” It all seemed tiresome to him. Even if he wanted to marry, why should he do it because someone else demands it? “Is Marriage not meant to be a Union of love?”
“Not always,” Koharu continued to argue. “Lord First married Uzumaki Mito to form a treaty with the Uzumaki clan. The love they had for each other came after.”
That was new information to Kakashi, but it changed nothing. While an arranged marriage may have worked for Lord First, it simply was not for him.
“There must be one person on that list who would make a good match for you,” Homura insisted. “Anko Mitarashi is a talented Jonin and a student of Orochimaru.”
“She is also more likely to stab me in my sleep than to marry me,” Kakashi counted. “Anko has no interest in marriage with anyone. She has made that very clear.”
Koharu glanced at the list in her partner's hand. “Kurenai?” She suggested. “She’s also a high-ranking Jonin and-“
Kakashi held up a hand to silence her. “Kurenai, like Tsunade-sama, has already lost the man she loved. I would never dare to think of stepping into his place.”
Even if he were to try, Kurenai would never allow it. She had plans to spend the rest of her life with Asuma and the Akatsuki had ripped those dreams out of her hands. There was no one in the world that could replace her lost lover in her mind.
“Shizune?” Homura continued to press. “She spends all day by your side already.”
Kakashi cringed at the thought. While Shizune was a much better match for him personality-wise, he did not fancy spending all of his time at work and at home with her. The two of them would surely get sick of each other within a month, and that wasn’t even touching on the fact that he’d have to deal with Tsuande-sama if he tried.
That was a match better left untouched.
“Mei,” Koharu tried once more, sighing when Kakashi shook his head. “It would be beneficial for both of our villages. You’re always talking about building stronger bonds. You’ve even washed your hands of old traditions and beliefs, against our advice, in order to strengthen the bond between the five great shinobi nations. Surely a marriage union between the two of you would create an even stronger bond between Konohagakure and Kirigakure. I am certain that she would be open to the union.”
All of that was true but it still wasn’t a good enough reason for Kakashi to marry a woman he barely knew. Even if she would be more than happy to marry him.
“If I am going to marry,” he began, pushing his chair back and standing up. “I would rather it be because I have a genuine bond with the person I am to spend the rest of my life with, not because they find me handsome.”
It was nothing against Mei. A woman who could find beauty even in someone as mediocre as him should be admired and respected. That still did not change the fact that he had no interest in marrying her.
“Now, if you two are done pestering me about this,” making his way around the desk, he narrowed and walked straight past them without concern for the stuttered protests that left their mouths. “I have plans tonight and it would be rather rude of me to be late for them.”
With that, he was gone. Leaving no trace of his presence save for the two elders standing in his office yelling into the open air with promises to continue this conversation when they saw him again.
Marriage.
Kakashi still couldn’t believe that this was the most important task in the elder's mind. To see him married off as quickly as possible as if they had the right to bud into his personal life.
Suffering through their long-winded discussions about the ‘importance of upholding the old ways’ was bad enough for Kakashi, but now they made it a point to interrupt him at every opportunity to talk about marriage.
He’d once felt sorry for Gaara when his own village elders attempted to marry him off with claims that it would be ‘for the good of Suna’, but now Kakashi understood his struggles all too well. Except, unlike Gaara, he didn’t have the respect of his village elders.
In fact, he was sure the two of them hated him and the feeling was quite mutual. If he could eject them from their positions and choose others to fill the spot he happily would. Unfortunately, it seemed that as long as the two of them were alive he was stuck with them.
Another unfortunate setback of being Hokage.
“Lord Sixth!” Stopping in his tracks, Kakashi frowned when he found himself faced with two very excited-looking women standing directly in front of him. It would be easy enough for him to avoid the three of them and continue on his way, but a good Hokage would stay right where he was and chat with them.
Kakashi was growing rather sick of being a ‘good Hokage’.
“It’s good to see you, Lord Sixth,” one of them stepped forward, long brown hair falling in front of her face. “I was just on my way to dinner, would you like to join?”
“I-”
“No,” The second woman stepped forward and shoulder-checked the other one away. “Lord Sixth wouldn’t you rather go for a nice walk around the village with me? I was thinking of stopping by the river for a relaxing read.”
“Well, you see-”
“Oh, he’d much rather go to the bookshop with me,” The third stayed back, but just one look at her told Kakashi that she was not one to be pushed around by the other two. There was a determination in those bright brown eyes that only a moron would ignore. “I was thinking of picking out a new book to read, and I was hoping you might have some suggestions.”
His eyes darted past the trio, searching for the quickest escape. Perhaps a distraction would do him best at this moment. Something to get their eyes off of him for just a second so he could make a swift escape.
“Tell them, Lord Sixth,” the brunette reached out and grabbed hold of his hand. “You’d much rather go to dinner with me, right?”
“Well, you see,” his eyes examined the area, searching for anything he could use as a distraction. “I was just on my way-”
“To meet with me!” A familiar voice called out behind him. A wave of calm washed over him when it reached his ear and all three women glanced past him to see who it was joining them. Kakashi didn’t need to look, though. He knew that voice better than any other sound in the world.
It was the voice that had called out to him on countless missions throughout his life, always with the same energy no matter what sort of danger they may have found themselves in.
“You?” The second woman frowned. “But Lord Sixth would much rather go reading beside the river with me, isn’t that right?” She turned her gaze towards him, but Kakashi paid her no attention. Instead, he looked to his right just as Gai’s wheelchair came to a stop directly beside him.
“That may be,” Gai smiled at the trio. “But Lord Sixth and I have already made plans. If you would like to have some time with him you’ll have to schedule ahead. He’s a very busy man you see, with lots of people who like to spend time with him.”
Lord Sixth.
Hearing those words from three strangers did nothing to Kakashi, but when they came from Gai’s mouth they felt like needles piercing deep into his ears. Unpleasant to listen to and downright insulting coming from the man who had called him ‘Rival’ all of their lives.
“But-”
Seeing his opportunity, Kakashi turned back to the three women and smiled. “It would be rather rude of me to cancel pre-made plans, wouldn’t it?” he asked. “If you’d like to make plans with me that’s fine, but it will have to wait until another time.”
Dejected, the women huddled together and walked away with their heads hung low.
Another near crisis averted,
With that taken care of he turned to face Gai. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” his friend beamed. “Though, this is getting rather out of hand, don’t you think Rival? It feels as though there is always someone trying to ask you out whenever we’re together.”
That wasn’t a lie. Wherever he went Kakashi found himself being approached by people he didn’t know. Some of them would ask for autographs and photos, but these days it felt like more than half of them were there to try and ask him out. As if all of Konoha had suddenly decided he was marriage material.
Perhaps the elders weren’t so wrong to worry about his status as a bachelor.
“They’ll figure out soon enough that I’m not interested,” he assured Gai. “They can’t keep trying forever, right?”
The look on Gai’s face was not comforting at all. A mix of skepticism and disappointment left Kakashi questioning whether he was ever going to escape from these endless attempts at asking him out.
“Maybe I should get married.”
Gai choked when he heard Kakashi’s words. “What did you say?”
Shaking his head, Kakashi pointed down the path in front of them. There were still three blocks between them and the restaurant they had made reservations at and if they didn’t hurry they were going to be late.
“Fine,” Gai agreed, understanding what he was saying without words. “But you’re explaining that comment when we settle in for dinner.”
Satisfied with that agreement, the two of them began walking toward their destination.
Kakashi had barely stepped inside the restaurant when the owner appeared in front of him with a warm, welcoming smile and directed him towards a seat in the back right corner of the tiny establishment.
There were no words exchanged between the two of them except a simple ‘thank you’ as Kakashi pulled back the second seat and shoved it against the wall so that Gai could claim his spot.
Once his friend was settled in, Kakashi made his way around the table and fell back into his seat with a sigh. The stresses of his workday melted away when his nose picked up the smell of grilled fish.
“I think I know what you’ll be ordering,” Gai chuckled on the other side of the table. “That look says it all.”
Unashamed of his predictable nature, Kakashi picked up the menu on his side of the table and carefully tucked it away behind the flower vase that sat on the left of the table right against the wall. “At least I won't be spending the next thirty minutes debating which is better, the Salmon sushi platter or Korma curry.”
Gai gasped at his accusation. “I do not spend thirty minutes deciding!”
“Sorry, I must have miscounted at our last dinner. Forty minutes.” His words are instantly rewarded with a gasp and the most dramatic chest grab he has seen since he was ten and insulted Obito’s goggles.
“You would insult me, Rival?” Gai gasped, the palm of his hand pressing hard against his chest as if he were trying to stop a gaping wound from bleeding out. “Your best friend in the entire world, and you would insult me like this?”
The show was entertaining, but Kakashi was more interested in eating than he was in listening to his best friend lament about broken trust and shattered friendships as if Kakashi had actually hurt him.
“In that case, you won’t mind if I order the Salmon sushi platter for you? Perhaps with some Cucumber Nori and dragon rolls?” He reached across the table and place a hand over Gai’s menu and stared at Gai with a playful twinkle in his eyes.
His teasing was instantly rewarded with a sulk. “I was hoping to get curry.”
“Curry then,” removing his hand he fell back against his seat with a sigh. “The perfect choice for you.”
There was nothing in the world that Gai liked more than curry, and there would be a complimentary plate of Tempura for him to devour as well since Kakashi wouldn’t touch the stuff. The harsh texture of deep-fried bread alongside the tender squishy food inside always seemed to overwhelm him making the treat impossible to enjoy.
“See, that didn’t take me forty minutes to decide.” Gai grinned an impossibly wide grin.
Without missing a beat, Kakashi responded to Gai’s smile with a mischievous grin. “You would have taken forty minutes if I hadn’t provided you with a challenge,”
A chopstick flew through the air, aimed directly at his forehead. Thankfully, with some quick reflexes, Kakashi was able to catch it before it even touched him. “You know it’s true.”
“There must be something better to speak about,” Huffed Gai, his smile suddenly returning to his face, telling of an idea that had suddenly struck him. “You were going to tell me what you meant when you said ‘maybe I should get married’ ”
Kakashi’s stomach dropped.
Of all the things for him to say, and all the people for him to say it in front of, he’d really put himself into an impossible situation by letting those five small words slip past his mouth.
There was no escaping this conversation and he knew it, but if anything that information only upset him more. Tonight was supposed to be a relaxing night with his best friend, not a continuation of a conversation that made him want to bash his head against a wall.
“Kakashi-“
“I know,” he waved a hand in front of his face, physically dismissing Gai’s insistence. “It’s just not the most pleasant conversation to have.”
“Well, perhaps I could help,” Gai offered. “You know you can trust me, right?”
There was no one in Konoha he would trust more than Gai, with Yamato as a very close second. His friend had pulled him out of trouble many times over their lives, but today was different. With no enemies to physically fight back, Gai was out of his element.
Still, Kakashi knew it wouldn’t do any good to avoid the conversation. Gai was a stubborn man who was more than capable of getting whatever he wanted out of Kakashi, even information.
Well, not all information, but still. This wasn’t a conversation that would put the village in danger or cost anyone their lives. If anything, it might alleviate some of his stress just talking about it.
So, with a tired sigh, Kakashi levelled his eyes on Gai. “The Elders have been pestering me these last few weeks.”
“That’s not really new,” Gai snorted. “They’ve been pestering you since you your inauguration finished, demanding you change your decisions to fit their old-style way of thinking.”
No truer words have ever been spoken. Koharu and Homura seemed to have a special place in their cold corrupt hearts for Kakashi. A spot that was filled with hatred for a man who had been a dutiful shinobi of Konohagakure. Ever since he was a kid the two of them always seemed to hate him, and that hatred had only increased when he was named as the Sixth Hokage.
Though they at least had the decency to try and disguise it as worry for the village’s future.
“Well, it’s a bit worse this time,” he continued. “They’re determined to marry me off to someone.”
Gai stared at him as though he’d just slapped him in the face. An expression of horror and confusion mixed perfectly so that he was sitting there like a very confused puppy.
“M-Marry?” he finally managed to force the word out, his voice sounding more like a frog’s croak than the cheerful, upbeat voice that Kakashi was used to. “They want you to marry?”
“That’s what I said, yes.”
The next few minutes were filled with silence. Kakashi stared off into the distance, examining the activities around them, and Gai processed what he had just heard. It would have been easy for Kakashi to go into more detail. Provide information on who had been suggested to him as marriage candidates, or even tell him just how long the two elders had been pestering him about the topic.
There was nothing to be gained from that information, though. Gai had received an adequate answer to his question and after a bit of thinking, he was bound to drop the topic since there was nothing that either of them could do about his situation.
It was simply a game of waiting, and if he was lucky the elders would die in their sleep and he’d never have to hear another word about ‘marriage’ again.
“What about me?” Gai spoke suddenly, his words spoken so confidently yet still leaving Kakashi feeling winded from the sheer force of them.
“You?” he wheezed, struggling to understand what was happening at this moment. “You want me to marry you?”
Puffing out his chest, Gai huffed. “Give me one good reason why not,” he insisted. “The elders want you to get married and we both know they’re not going to give up that easily. It’s not like Gaara’s situation where his village elders are willing to listen to him.”
The truth of his words wounded Kakashi. Not because he actually cared about how much Konoha’s elders respected him but because of just how right he was. There was nothing that could make those two change their minds once they’d made a decision.
They wanted him to marry and they weren’t going to stop pestering him about it unless he caved, or they finally had some mercy on the village and died.
There was only one reason he could think of to say no.
“What about you?”
“What about me?” Gai repeated his question back to him, a deep frown settling onto his face.
“What if you want to get married to someone else?” The thought of taking Gai away from the life he wanted, the life he deserved, didn’t sit well with him. For years Gai had stood by his side, always the dutiful friend dragging him out of trouble, and Kakashi had always accepted that help without hesitation.
This was different, though. It wasn’t just a fight Gai was jumping into in order to protect him or an enemy's attack that he was kicking away.
It was a marriage.
A commitment to spend the rest of their lives together no matter what obstacles they faced. He couldn’t ask Gai to do that for him. Not when he still had a chance to find real happiness with someone far more deserving of his love.
“Well, I don’t,” Gai shrugged his shoulders as if it was nothing. As though he wasn’t just handing his future to Kakashi without question or concern. “I don’t want to be with anyone else.”
“You can’t know that for sure,” Kakashi insisted. “We’re still in the springtime of our youth, right? You could still find someone to fall in love with.”
Leaning forward in his chair, Gai offered a soft, calming smile. The same smile he would always plaster onto his face when he could tell Kakashi was panicking, and then without any hesitation, he spoke words that seemed too good to be true. “I know without a doubt that there is no one in this world I would rather spend the rest of my life with.”
Gai wanted him.
He was willing to marry him, even if it meant giving up his chance at finding someone else, all because Kakashi needed an easy way to get the elders off of his back.
It seemed like a miracle. A gift from the universe after a lifetime of pain. One which anyone with any intelligence would grab at without question.
“Why?” The question fell past his lips before he could even think to stop it.
“Isn’t that obvious, Rival?” Gai stared at him with kind eyes. Not the eyes of a friend, or even the eyes of an eternal rival trying to look out for him in the only way he knew how.
No, these eyes were different. They held a different emotion behind them. One Kakashi had only ever seen once before when he was very young, looking into his father’s eyes.
“Why me?“ he clarified, too many thoughts swimming around in his head for him to even try to make sense of. “I mean, you have a whole village of people who fawn over you.”
“As if you don’t,” Gai snorted, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder towards the entrance of the restaurant. “Or did you forget about the three girls who were just trying to ask you out not even five minutes ago?”
“T-that’s different!” Kakashi protested though he knew that wasn’t the case. Even if he didn’t understand why so many people were interested in him, going so far as to interrupt meetings and Kage summits just to try and ask him out on a date, there was no denying the facts of the situation.
People were interested in him. They wanted to date him, and they went to extreme lengths to try and do it until Homura and Koharu were pushing for him to marry just to put an end to it all.
“We both have other options,” Gai continued as he settled back into his seat with a sigh. “There are a lot of people who would date us if we gave them a chance, the problem is we won’t do that.”
It sucked hearing it out loud. Like a parent scolding their kid for being ‘too harsh’ and refusing to play with others.
Gai was right though. Ever since he was a kid Kakashi had shoved off the affections of others. There was a long list of women and men who he’d turned down over the years, always trying to be nice but never unable to lie to them.
He simply wasn’t interested.
“But it’s different,” he whispered, thinking back over all the years he’d spent with Gai by his side. How he’d never pushed his friend away, even when he wanted to. Even when he thought it would be safer for Gai if he just moved on and forgot about him. “You and me. We’re different, aren't we?”
“We always have been,” Gai confirmed with a chuckle.
Marriage. The idea didn’t sound so bad when it was Gai he would be vowing himself to for the rest of his life. Somehow, it already felt like they’d gone through it all. Protecting each other from danger, sharing a bad, and telling each other their deepest fears and worries. They were all things the two of them had done many times over the years.
Getting married felt like the next logical step. He’d just never thought of it before.
“When?”
“This weekend,” Gai decided without even pausing to think. “Is that fast enough for the elders?”
It would have to be. There was too much for him to do before the weekend. An outfit was needed, as well as invitations to the select few people they would invite. No doubt their teams would be there, and Yamato would never have time to get back to the village.
There was no way Kakashi would let him miss such an important event in his life.
“This weekend,” he confirmed with surprising ease, his heart pounding inside of his chest as he processed what was happening. “You and me, rival.”
“Forever,” Gai confirmed with a fond smile. “After dinner, of course.”
Morning came all too quickly for Kakashi’s comfort.
After a fun night out with his best friend and future husband, the last thing he wanted to do was drag himself out of bed and go to work.
That was exactly what he did, though, and as soon as he claimed his seat and started to relax the doors to his office swung open to admit the last two people he wanted to see.
“Lord Sixth,” Koharu spoke firmly, leaving him no opportunity to shoo them away. “We’ve looked over the list again and made a few adjustment.”
For some reason, Kakashi was not surprised by this statement.
“A new list, hmm?” He settled back into his chair and made a show of thinking it over. “That’s rather… kind of you,” ‘kind’ was the last thing either of them were, but Kakashi had to be polite. They already made his life difficult enough, they would only get worse if he was rude to them. “However, it would be a waste of my time to read it over.”
“You must,” Homura insisted, the perpetual scowl on his face pulling his growing wrinkles a little further down today. “We will not leave here until yoy have decided on someone to marry. We have been linient enough on this topic.”
Lenient.
He refrained from laughing out loud at the use of that word. Clearly the man had no idea what it meant or he would never have dared to use it to reference the constant pressure he and his partner placed onto Kakashi.
“Still,” he continued. “It would be rather pointless for me to look through that list when I have already chosen who I will marry.”
“You can’t just-“ Homura stopped suddenly, his brain catching up with what Kakashi had said. “You… chose someone?”
“To marry?” Koharu added, sceptical of what she had just heard.
“I have,” Kakashi confirmed. “The wedding will take place this weekend. I assume you two will want an invitation?”
Perhaps he could convince Naruto to play up the knuckle headed goofball role for just one day. A special treat for the two constant thorns in his side.
Homura narrowed his eyes. “Who?”
“Gai.” Kakashi answered without hesitation.
Koharu’s jaw dropped.
“Gai?” Homura seemed doubtful, as if he expected Kakashi to suddenly announce that he was joking. Playing a good old trick on them.
Tricks weren’t Kakashi’s thing, though. At least, not in this case. Not when it was way more fun to tell the truth.
“Gai,” he confirmed, waving towards the pile of paperwork that sat in the middle of his desk. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have quite a bit of work to complete today, and Gai wanted to go browsing for a wedding cake this afternoon so I really should get to work.”
The two of them stood there for a moment, their eyes shifting between him and each other. Most days he could expect a quick, sharp response from them that was guaranteed to give him a headache, but today they were surprisingly quiet.
A pleasant change in his opinion.
“Lord Sixth-“
“No,” he cut Koharu off quickly. “You asked me to choose someone to marry, and I have. Unless you can think of any reason for me not to marry Gai, that does not include attacks on his personality,” he added swiftly when he saw Homura open his mouth to speak. “Then everything is dealt with and I will see you at the wedding this weekend.”
Silence.
Blissful silence enveloped his office as the two elders took one last look at him before doing a one hundred and eighty degree turn and storming out of the room.
Today was going to be a wonderful day. That much he was sure of.