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Her nails are bitten and raw. Olivia hasn’t known how else to get the nervous energy out. Energy that only got worse the more her calls were denied and when Cragen had told her that Elliot had handed in his papers. Fin had tried to warn her. He had said that maybe Elliot wouldn’t want to put his gun on again and he had been right.
Olivia hadn’t wanted to consider it though. There had been blips in time where she and Elliot weren’t partners but they always came back together. It felt too sickly to think that this could really be the end of them. An Elliot-shaped hole in her life feels a lot bigger than she expected.
She’s tried millions of times since the shooting to get in contact with him and now, almost a week after Cragen gave her the news of Elliot’s early retirement, she is pacing back and forth in her apartment, cursing herself, because he called back . It had sent her into some kind of shock when she saw Elliot’s name on her phone screen. So much so that she hadn’t picked up. The phone rang out before her brain could process what was happening.
Now she’s torn, nervous. Does she call back? Does she wait?
He makes the decision for her. Calling a half hour later and she is quicker this time. She snaps it up and manages to hit herself in the side of the head as she rams it against her ear. Words escape her when she hears breathing on the other side. She tries to think back, trying to remember if she knows what his breathing sounds like.
“Liv?”
It’s him.
The world echoes around her. Pulsing in time to her frantic heart.
“Can you hear me?”
She puts her hand over her mouth to stifle the sob that breaks out but it very clearly doesn’t work.
“Olivia.” He sounds pained. “Please- I know I don’t deserve… Please.”
“I’m at home,” she finally says, trying to ignore the way her voice cracks around the word ‘home’.
There’s a brief pause but it’s still long enough to spike her anxiety. She almost pulls the phone away to check if it’s still conected but then his voice comes through again, quiet and nervous. “I know.”
Brow furrowed, her gaze snaps to the window and she hurries over. Pushing the curtains aside, she peers down and sure enough there he is. He’s standing beside his car, leaning against it as he looks up at her window.
“I gave you a key for a reason, Stabler.”
He fishes around his jeans pocket for a moment then fiddles with what she assumes is her key. “Is it still mine?”
“Yes,” she says instantly. “It’s yours forever”
“Even though I left?”
“You’re here.”
“Even though I quit?”
“I get it.”
“Doesn’t make it right or easy.”
“Nothing we’ve done is right of easy.”
“I still left. I’ve ignored you. I didn’t even tell you.”
“Then come make it up to me.”
His voice is low but there’s a twinge of hope there. “Yeah?”
Olivia sucks in a deep breath when he pushes off the car but he doesn’t move any further. It is what she wants but sadness still sits deep in her chest. “How long will I have you?”
Elliot doesn’t miss a beat. He looks directly at the window and turns his whole body so she can see all of him. “I’m yours forever.”