Chapter Text
Everything was not fucking perfect.
Green lightning kept pace alongside him, that freckled face filled with much judgment. "So, let me get this straight, Kacchan... you went out with a hot guy--"
Bakugou powered himself forward with another explosion, shouting over the din. "Yeah."
"--and had a wonderful evening--"
Not this bullshit again. "Yes."
"--free of charge to you--"
"Yes."
"--with someone who even understands your emotional needs--"
Bakugou launched a volley of fire at the other boy’s feet. "Get to the fucking point, Deku."
He jumped over the attack with ease. "--and you're mad at him why?"
"Because he didn't fucking kiss me!" Obviously.
The green-haired boy gaped at him. "And that's it?!"
"Yes!"
"Why?!"
"Because he had so many opportunities, but especially after running from my mother, and we were high off adrenaline and shit, and the lighting was perfect, but no."
Deku’s pace faltered a bit. "... You know, sometimes it's really easy to forget you're a secret diehard romantic."
"I'll kill you."
"Fine, fine. Well, if it was so perfect, why didn't you kiss him yourself?"
"Because the idiot asked me out, so it's his job to kiss me."
Deku jumped over an obstacle in his path and still managed to level a withering look at him. "Kacchan, you are the most chauvinistic gay man I've ever met."
"Am not! That’s not even what that word means!"
"Isn’t it, though? Because the only other option is that your power bottom is showing--"
Bakugou swung for his face. "Fucking DIE!"
"Bakugou," Aizawa shouted over the other students. "This is supposed to be an obstacle course relay. Let's keep the bloodshed to a minimum."
The baton clutched in Bakugou's fist prevented him from flipping their teacher the middle finger. It was probably for the best--he didn't want to deal with shitty fucking detention. However, the urge to do it anyway got him to quit beating Deku over the head with it. They weren't supposed to brutalize each other during this exercise.
Thank fucking God they couldn't hear him.
They'd been divided into groups of five for training today, which sucked ass because Bakugou was not usually a team player. Deku kept pace with him through the course on his left, and behind him on his right was Headphones, trailing close. The fourth lane over had Sparkle-Face, lagging abysmally and complaining about the sun. Aizawa hadn't allowed the wimp his sunglasses, and he was making sure everyone knew how miserable he was. Sonic was on his team, though, so the ass was likely taking advantage of that to be obnoxious.
Bakugou's team, like all the others, had been chosen at random, so it was full of people he wouldn't typically work with. Monkey-Tail had gone ahead of him, which had put them in a great lead against Shitty-Hair, Round-Face, and Invisibitch, but Tape-Arms had closed the gap a bit, even against Crow-Face, who could fucking fly. Bakugou wasn't sure how Headphones was so close, but he supposed it was something Octo-Arms had done.
Deku had closed the final gap, which put them neck and neck, which was when Bakugou had started explaining the utterly infuriating disappointment that had been the night before. Now that that conversation was over, the blonde cranked up the heat and tore off, ignoring the green lightning close behind him. Headphones complained, but there wasn't much she could do to increase her pace, and even the sonic shockwave she sent out to knock them off-balance couldn't do much to slow the boys down (though it did succeed in getting Sparkles to puke).
Bakugou growled as they rounded a corner, their relay teammates coming into sight. Racoon-Eyes winked at him from Deku's team, which only proved to piss him off more because of course, his teammate had to be--
"Hurry up, Bakugou!"
"Fuck off, Half-and-half! Shitty peppermint bastard. I'll roast you a-fucking-live."
"Yeah, yeah," the other boy sighed when Bakugou threw the baton at his face, catching it with infuriating ease. He took off in a flurry of frost before Bakugou could sock him in the nose.
"Why're you so mad today, Blasty?" Pink-Skin popped her bubblegum, a little grin still playing on her face. "I'd have thought you'd be in a great mood."
"Oh, fuck off, Crazy-Eyes."
Her look soured immediately as Deku ran up to her and pushed the baton into her hands. "Hey now, just because you're a little pissy doesn't mean you get to go back to calling me names."
"Ashido, go!"
"Oh! Right! Sorry, Midori!"
Deku rolled his eyes and huffed as she took off, spraying acid behind her, and then turned back to Bakugo. "So anyways--"
"No." Jesus, he was so done with this conversation.
"No, seriously, Kacchan, the guy is denser than a pile of rocks and you know it," the greenette raised an eyebrow at him. "You ever stop to consider that maybe he has no idea how to read a situation?"
Oh, the truth of that. Kirishima was a fucking mystery. It was amazing how quickly he could swing from 'I understand everything right now' to 'I turned left instead of right somewhere and now I'm so obliviously lost with this conversation.' Dark, scary mood? Perfectly understood. Happy sunshine vibes? Right again. Anything the slightest bit romantic or suggestive? Nope. Nada. Gone. Dumber than a brick. Why the fuck was he so goddamn attractive? He had no right.
Bakugou grumbled miserably. "He has to stop fucking using that as a shitty excuse."
"Kacchan, that's not nice. He's never used it as an excuse."
"Tch. Not out loud."
"You're just being mean."
Headphones tore around the corner, running from Half-and-half, who was right on her heels. He'd begun using his ice to freeze the path in front of him, but his fire to propel him forward along the slick, rocketing him forward to their team's certain victory. "Jammingyay, do something about this!" She shouted, throwing her baton to her teammate. Dunce-Face hadn't been paying attention whatsoever, but turned and caught it on reflex, already charging up. He twisted and aimed, shooting off two anchor points for a direct line attack. They were smaller than the ones he carried on his costume, but they would still transmit enough charge to immobilize enemy classmates.
Bakugou growled, turning to his final teammate while getting the fuck out of range. "Get off the ground."
Nodding with nervous determination, Dog-Whisperer whistled, and two large eagles that had been waiting for his summon came to his call. Icy-hot recognized the electric user was about to do something and launched his baton when Bakugou screamed at him, too. Dunce-Face was waiting, timing, being smart, for once. Electricity crackled impatiently over his fingertips. Since Icy-hot no longer had the baton, attacking him would be pointless, so he was trying to aim for the point where Fluttershy grabbed the baton. The eagles weren't allowed to grab the boy until he had the baton in hand, so he'd have a hard time getting out of range fast enough.
But the ground opened at his feet when the shy boy grabbed the baton, and he fell, out of range of the direct line and the scattered ground attack. A cloud of dust blossomed from the collapsed dirt and covered the field, impairing Dunce's vision too much for a second attack.
Both eagles dove, one waiting at the surface and the other ducking far into the ground. A mole and a badger helped him lift Fluttershy out of the ground enough for the other to take hold, and both lifted him above the field and out of range before the dust settled. Bakugou grinned. Up there, the other boy could avoid most of the obstacles and cover more ground faster. This was a piece of cake.
Pikachu huffed and growled, frustrated by his foiled plan, but he took off running as fast as he could. Their team was a whole lap behind, but they could still catch up to Mina if they tried, and it was leagues better than coming in last. Speaking of last, Sparkles was only just now coming around the corner, and Four-Eyes facepalmed painfully at his teammate's dramatics.
They watched the fight a few more minutes before Deku put a hand on Bakugou's shoulder, withdrawing quickly when the blonde growled at him, the glare returned in full force. He sighed, turning to the area for finished competitors. "Look, Kacchan, I'm just saying that maybe it's not worth being so worked up over. We don't need a repeat of Friday happening if you blow your top."
"I fucking told you, that was Zombie-Fuck's fault."
Despite not knowing any of the contexts, the violet-haired boy in question turned at the sound of his nickname as the pair entered earshot. "Nah, I'll pass. I'm not into any of that necrophilic shit."
Bakugou groaned. "Could you just, like, fuck off, or something?"
Tape-Arms gaped. "Did you just ask nicely?"
Pikachu bounced into the room and smacked him lightly as he sat down next to his best friend. He must have electrocuted Mina or something to get ahead. "Nuh-uh, we're not pissing off Nice Bakugou. Nice Bakugou scares me."
Bakugou rolled his eyes. "Fucking dumbasses," he muttered to no one in particular as he grabbed a towel and began drying off his sweat.
A melodic laugh attracted his attention to the other side of the rest area, where Shitty-Hair was sitting with Round-Face and My Chemical Crowmance, and Bakugou's frown deepened as he tried very hard to cover up how much he felt like dying inside. Apparently, he didn't do a good enough job, because Deku sent him a look that was a strange cross between sympathetic and smug. Stupid himbo with his stupid fucking hair and stupid fucking muscles, Bakugou seethed. Fuck it. I don't need him. Ew. Smiles and rainbows. Who the fuck needs that shit?
Me, he sulked suddenly. I need that shit. Fuck that shit.
And the worst part was probably that Kirishima had no fucking clue what he'd done wrong because Bakugou was being a fucking baby about it.
Mina skipped into the area then, sweaty and panting from the obstacle course, and fell down dramatically next to Deku, who chuckled at her until she shifted her head onto Emo-Bangs' thigh and threw her legs into his lap, an embarrassed flush exploding across his face. She smirked, and Bakugou knew she was being a brat on purpose, but Deku's blush wore off quickly and Sparkles came in moments later, equally tired and dramatic, but he got far less sympathy.
The woman’s observant gold-on-black eyes flicked passively over to Bakugou, and he knew the moment her eyebrows drew together that he'd been found out. It took less than another second for her to glance between him and Kirishima, and then over to Deku, before she nudged the freckled boy with her knee and gave him a look. With that came the startling realization that Mina and Deku weren't close, but they were friends and they did talk, and the girl was Kiri's best friend, so it was possible they talked about them, and Bakugou couldn't stand that thought, so if he threw a large, nitroglycerin-soaked towel at them, nobody saw.
Sonic stomped into the room seconds later, glaring at Glitter-Fuck, before turning pointedly and going to join the conversation with Pink-Cheeks, Edgar Allen Crow, and Kirishima. Animal-Brain followed him at a passive distance, beaming proudly to himself, and Samurai-Monkey gave him a friendly high-five. Deku pouted at the sight of the other boy so cheerful, and Headphones groaned because that smile could only mean that, of course, Bakugou's team had won. Again.
It did a surprising amount to brighten the blonde boy's mood, and that one-hundred percent was not because Kirishima had looked over to him and grinned his congratulations. No, definitely not that.
"For what's it's worth, I think you should forgive him," Deku said suddenly, magically right-fucking-next to him all of a sudden, and oh, God, Deku's talking again. "Especially since, you know, it's a stupid reason to be mad at him in the first place."
"For what it's worth," Bakugou returned, "fuck you, and your opinion doesn't mean jack-shit."
"Mm, I'd rather not," the greenette shot back, and it took Bakugou a second.
"Did you just--"
"I could help," Mina grinned, because everyone was just on magic gas now and popping up outta fuck-all nowhere, an arm slung around Bakugou's shoulders. "The girls and I were just thinking that our class is way overdue for a game night. It might be cliche, but cliches are overused for a reason, goddamnit."
Deku side-eyed her. "Are you okay? That sounded personal."
"Nothing, I'm bullying American teenagers who are bullying me on Twitter again." Ignoring the absolute weirdness of the words that had just come out of her mouth, she turned back to Bakugou. "So, Blasty? Sounds fun, right?"
"No, it absolutely does not sound--"
"Todoroki bought Monopoly, and if you don't go, I'll tell everyone you're stealing Red Riot merch."
"When the fuck have I ever--oh." He stopped, remembering the hat he'd stolen off Kirishima's head the night before and casually forgotten to return. And the jacket. And the shades. Fuck, he could get away with stealing Kirishima's entire closet in a week at the rate he was going. "Fuck you."
Mina giggled, but Deku looked at the blonde with concern. "Kacchan, you... you stole Red Riot merch?"
"Shut up."
"That's..." the greenette struggled for the right words. "That's not very heroic."
"FUCK YOU!" Katsuki exploded--literally--launching himself at Deku. "YOU'RE IN THE MOOD TO FUCKING DIE, SO BE IT! DON'T THINK I WON'T DEKU! hEY! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!"
"Twenty bucks on Midoriya."
"You're on, Jammingyay. Bakugou will crush him, again."
"Fifty on Bakugou!"
"Uraraka! Gambling is unseemly behavior!"
"What, I need new shoes."
Bakugou hooked his foot as he ducked under one of the Nerd's retaliatory blows, twisting the other boy off balance and grinning when Deku face planted into the dirt. His victory was cut short when a red-sneakered foot collided into the back of his knee and caused him to fall backward, cussing, onto his impromptu opponent.
"Is anyone going to stop them?"
"Oh, sure, Shinsou. Are you volunteering?"
"Fuck, no, Ashido."
Deku hooked an elbow around his chin, which from this angle was hard to break, which was bad. Throwing a minor temper-tantrum, Bakugou slammed his heel into Deku's shin, which only caused the other boy to wince and tighten his hold.
"I seem to remember you fighting a little harder against Kirishima, Kacchan," Deku smirked.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! That got his head to places he did not want it to be, and it did not help that Deku had used his free hand to twist Bakugou's arms up in a way that rendered his explosions completely useless and hooked his legs around the blonde's hips to trap him. What the fuck?! Hyperventilating in rage, which he was supposed to remember not to do, caused him to burn through way too much of his oxygen, leaving him dizzy and light-headed, and maybe or maybe not mistaking that someone very different was his opponent which, again, didn't help .
And then his airway was released and he sat up so he could breathe again and now he was so much more fucking pissed. And he'd lost. Like, what the fuck?!
"Score! Fork over the cash, ladies!"
"Fuck. You."
"Deku, you dirty fucking cheater," Bakugou growled when his head stopped spinning.
The greenette was laying in the dirt with a smug smile on his face. "Yeah, I know."
"I'm gonna fucking kill you."
"Yeah, I know."
A hand came down in front of Bakugou's face, and he didn't want to look at it because he knew who it belonged to and he didn't want to deal with that right now, but Kiri, as usual, didn't give him much of a choice. The redhead knew his help would be denied, and so he grabbed Bakugou by the elbow and hauled him up like he was weightless, with just as much ease as he once had as Red Riot, after the bank robbery. Jesus, that seemed like so long ago. Two weeks. Two freaking weeks.
"Alright, brats," Aizawa drawled, bringing in the last three competitors, Big-Tits, Frog-Legs, and Sugarboy. Kermit croaked in frustration--Drama-Rama had taken so long, she had been unable to compete. "I'm sure you all know the results, and I'm sure you all know I don't care. However , I need to talk to you all about your upcoming work studies before class ends and you scamper off to the locker rooms. They will be starting this Thursday, and I feel the need to warn you that not only are you representing UA as a school, but you are also representing the next generation of hero society. Your employers, rather, unfortunately, will be very aware of what you are. Those who have already begun will continue as they have been. The work studies are built to teach you real-world skills and people management. I am hoping that you'll have to deal with a fair share of 'Karens' and learn how to deal with them because it's very possible that you'll encounter more than a few as a hero, and you need to know how to handle them."
Kirishima, Round-Face, and Dead-Eyes all burst into laughter, and Bakugou rolled his eyes. "Sir," Round-Face managed, "what if the preferred method of dealing with a Karen is to sue her?"
"Then you invite the class to the trial and tell them to shut up and listen," Aizawa deadpanned. "In a civilian standpoint, this is a perfectly acceptable way of dealing with a Karen, but while working as a hero, it will often be much harder to subdue someone so... opinionated, for the sake of their own safety."
"'Opinionated' is definitely a word for those people," Bakugou growled, causing Round-Face to snicker again. "I would've chosen a few other words, but 'opinionated' is probably the cleanest."
"Speaking of, though," Kirishima cut in, a sheepish frown on his face. "Does anybody know a lawyer? Because I sure as hell don't, and I am genuinely getting sued by a Karen."
There was a thin beat of silence before something very invisible elbowed Four-Eyes in the ribs, and he grunted from the pain before sighing in defeat. "I... may have a few family members willing to do some pro-bono work. My brother is certified to practice law. I can give him a call for you, Kirishima."
"Yeah, I'd really appreciate that, man."
"Alright!" Mina grinned. "Now we don't have to watch poor Kiri bumble through made-up laws defending himself."
The redhead winced, and Bakugou snickered. "Ouch, woman. Have a little faith in me."
"Alright," Aizawa growled to get their attention again, "one more thing before you go off to mathematics with Ectoplasm. Ashido, Midoriya, Kaminari, and Ojirou will take this afternoon's patrol. Shinsou and Kirishima will take the evening shift."
Dead-Eyes protested at once. He hadn't been scheduled for a patrol yet, and Bakugou knew he'd never been in the field. It was understandable that he was nervous, but Bakugou was still kinda pissed at him for the brainwashed 'reject Shitty-Hair' escapade, so he really wanted to see the other kid come back to school with a black eye. "Is that really the best idea? I'm still training, and--"
"Are you going to sit there and make excuses or are you going to get your lazy ass out there and be a hero?" Aizawa interrupted. "As far as rookie heroes go, Kirishima is probably the best partner you could have been assigned--besides Iida, maybe, but Kirishima won't leave you completely in the dust. He'll watch your back, keep you out of the bad spots, and probably teach you a thing or two. Your other option is that I pair you with Bakugou and request Neito Monoma and Ibara Shiozaki from 1B so you can learn tough companionship."
Bakugou growled. "Don't you dare. I'm not getting expelled for killing three students."
Deku winced. "Hate to break it to you, Kacchan, but that's triple homicide. You'll get far worse than expulsion."
"Did I ask?"
"Nope. You never do."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You damned nerd!"
"You want to go another round, Kacchan?"
"I'll kill you this time, Deku."
An elbow settled on Bakugou's shoulder, followed by a familiar weight, and he knew he'd lost the fight before it had even started when the blush bloomed and Deku found the balls to snicker at him. He was dimly aware of his classmates egging them on into another fight and placing bets again, but it all sounded fuzzy and dim to his ears, and he wished he could still blame that feeling on faulty hearing aids.
"Boys," Aizawa sighed while Bakugou was trying to shove Kirishima off of him. "Fight somewhere else. The gyms, the training fields--literally anywhere but right in front of me--" The bell rang while he was talking and an evil level of cheer crept into his voice. "Oh, good. If any of you brats are still here in ten seconds, I'll have you run laps around the school until dusk."
Well, that was definitely a cue to scatter, and Bakugou felt himself being pulled away by his arm. "You don't have to fucking babysit me, Shithead," he snapped at Kirishima when they were outside and he managed to pull himself from the other boy's grip. The others already had a gaining head start, Sparkles pulling up the tail-end with more complaints about running (and what the humidity was doing to his hair.)
"Am I wrong, then?" The redhead shot back at him with a smirk, falling into a casual pace. Even though they all had to shower and change before sprinting across the campus to make Ectoplasm's math class on time, he didn't seem to be in much of a rush. (Bakugou knew he needed a shower. No matter how many times he wiped it off, he was covered in sweat and smelled like a confectionary.) "Thinking that you would have chased Midoriya to hell?"
The blonde made a dismissive sound and flapped his hand, leaning back as he walked. They were alone again, and lately, that had always seemed to relax him. "He's not worth the time and effort he thinks he is. I could chase him, sure, but I've got other more important things to do."
"Really?" The genuine interest in Kirishima's voice made Bakugou want to strangle him. "Like what?" The blonde settled for glaring at him instead, victorious when the redhead caught on and the blush rushed into his ears. "Oh."
"Oh, now he catches on," Katuski teased. "Like it hasn't been a month."
"Hey!" He protested, lightly hitting Katsuki's shoulder. "I've picked up on most of it--"
"Bullshit."
"--a lot of it--"
"Not even close."
"--fine, some of it. Do I get that much?"
Katsuki shrugged, fighting off a smirk. "Ten minutes into a heavy conversation, maybe." He felt the other boy's glare in the side of his head and countered it with a smirk.
"I just can't win with you, can I?" Kirishima grouched at him.
"Lies, " the blonde protested. "You can't win against me. You've won plenty with me."
Kiri slouched in defeat, dramatically letting his core go limp to make himself sad and droopy looking, and Katsuki rolled his eyes, stepping forward to force the taller boy upright by--
By pulling his arm around his shoulders.
The sudden and unplanned action caught both of them off-guard. Kirishima stiffened and Katsuki immediately wondered if he'd gone too far, but it wasn't like he'd planned to make it awkward in record time. Too late he remembered that Kirishima had some weird on-again-off-again stigma about being touched suddenly, much like Katsuki himself. He was less than a second from pulling away and playing it off (and if he was being honest with himself, deflecting and screaming) when Kirishima tightened his arm around the blonde. Almost like they had been at the carnival, except that they were still moving forward. Whatever moment of hesitation they'd been having had passed and the panic faded, forced back down as Katsuki allowed himself to relax again.
"Is this what you wanted?" Kirishima mused lightly, letting his armrest flush against the blonde's back. The contact was firm and heavy, but warm and electric, and Katuski couldn't get enough.
But then the teasing registered in his head and he jerked his head away. "S-shut up!"
And though he wasn't looking, he could perfectly picture the shit-eating grin when the redhead said, "Was that a stutter?"
"No."
"Ah, come on," Kiri pressed good-naturedly. "Do I--" He stopped suddenly, as though a thought had just occurred to him, and Katsuki almost growled when the arm around him loosened. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"
Is that what he worried about? Not the retaliation from the teasing, but simply making Katsuki uncomfortable? Was that why he was always so hesitant? And Katsuki got the feeling that Kiri didn't worry about embarrassing him--Kiri worried about making him physically uncomfortable. Like stomach-churning, ants-under-your-skin, fight-or-flight uncomfortable. "No," Katsuki insisted while turning to glare at him, latching his fingers around the redhead's wrist to bring him closer again. "I don't think you could make me uncomfortable if you fucking tried."
It took another hesitant second before Kirishima relaxed again, but he didn't respond or quip back. The awkwardness lingered a second more, making the silence unbearable. Silence had never been uneasy with Kirishima before--silence had never existed with Kirishima before. This was weird and uncharted, and though Katsuki could think of a way to calm the other boy's nerves, now he was the one being hesitant.
Maybe these fears of his were what had kept him from kissing Katsuki last night. Maybe these fears were what was keeping Katsuki from kissing him now. And maybe he should kiss Kirishima--assure the tall, strapping redhead that Katsuki enjoyed his presence and didn't find him repulsive like Kiri seemed to think he was--and maybe he really wanted to, but he didn't.
Kirishima dropped his arm when they entered the school building, and it was infuriating how he had assumed (and was unfortunately correct) that Katsuki would want to keep their... relationship? On the down-low. He instantly missed the affection and wondered if his pride was worth it since he was sure that most of their class had noticed something by now. They kept giving him weirder-than-usual looks.
Probably not worth it, but he was going to cling to whatever little of his dignity he had left for the time being.
Showering and changing for class was weird. And rushed.
Walking to class was weirder. Kiri's hair gel was fucked up so he had to tie back his hair, completely oblivious, as always, to how attractive that made him look.
The look Mina gave them when they arrived at the bell had to be the worst. He could hear her teasing: Oo~ walking in the halls together? *insert dirty euphemism* *insert dirty joke* *insert cheesy movie reference* *insert giggle* God, he hated her sometimes.
But then Ectoplasm and three of his clones showed up to teach them how to calculate the velocity and deflection angles of bullets, so that was interesting at least. To make the lesson even better, an unexpected guest arrived halfway through the 'I may be teaching you these things, but it's really not advised that you try using these methods in the field, especially if your name is Kaminari, Midoriya, Shouji, and-or Kirishima' lecture.
"Sorry for interrupting your class," the uniformed officer apologized sheepishly, standing uncomfortably in the doorway, "but I'm here on official business." He brandished a few sheaves of pale-yellow paper, and Bakugou didn't know why he wasn't surprised when Kirishima sighed.
"Oh no, I'm in trouble," the redhead grinned. "What did I do this time?"
The officer's eye twitched as he crossed the room amongst the laughter of children pretending to be adults. "Oh, I remember you. Eijirou Kirishima."
"That would be me," he confirmed, holding a hand out for one of the pages. He got at least two, prompting the immature idiots in the class to leer at him for being in trouble. "Aw, the subpoena finally found me. I was trying to be a pain in the ass."
"Well, you have been served, and you are to appear in court on the nineteenth," the officer sighed. "Before I leave," he added, "is there, by any chance of a miracle, an Izuku Midoriya or Ochako Uraraka in this classroom or anywhere on this maze of a campus?"
Both the idiots cheerfully raised their hands, and the officer that had been mentally dubbed 'Dumbass-Cop' served them their subpoenas, tipped his hat to one of the four Ectoplasms, and hurried out the door. Bakugou's eyebrows furrowed, wondering if there was something Deku had forgotten to tell him.
The class was quiet for a moment before Denki interrupted. "How is this school a maze?" He wondered aloud. "It's... A giant 'H'-shaped building with halls straighter than Sero's teeth and color-coded signs and directions everywhere. Every hall has windows that face outside. I don't..."
Mina patted him on the head. "It's okay. You're fine. It's not your problem."
"And stop making comments about my teeth," Sero griped.
"I'm being charged with aggravated assault, battery, and unlawful quirk use," Deku cheered sarcastically. "Yay..."
"I'm being sued for emotional damages," Round-Face frowned.
Kirishima flicked the paper in front of him and sucked in a breath, releasing a low whistle. "Harassment, assault, battery, disorderly conduct--and continued on page two, civil suits , we are joined by defamation and slander, and personal injury. What does this woman think I am, a circus act? 'Failure to appear in court will result in a warrant issued for the offender's arrest--' Hey, Ectoplasm, what's the chance we can get off school on the nineteenth of July?"
"Slim," the teacher growled, displeased but curious. "The school wasn't aware you kids had gotten into legal trouble."
"We were assaulted," Deku sighed.
Round-face huffed before adding, "By a bitch."
Kirishima grinned before their professor could reprimand her language. "And now we're being sued!"
"No need to sound so happy about that," Dead-Eyes scoffed from somewhere behind Bakugou.
"Oh, it's fine," Kirishima flapped his hand. "The prosecution will probably end up dropping the charges before we even get to court once an investigation proves we did nothing wrong, and then I'm going to counter sue the woman."
"I'm a little worried about Amajiki and I, though," Deku muttered. "Warranted or not, we did use our quirks--"
"Wink super weirdly at the police," Ectoplasm suggested out of nowhere. "At least one of them should get the hint."
Kirishima made a noise of disagreement. "I'm pretty sure the lead officer on my case is the same one that keeps running into my hero. I am finding it absolutely mind boggling that he hasn't added two and two yet."
"You know this has to be reported to the dean," Four-Eyes winced, "right?"
"I'm sure he knows," Kiri sighed. "He is Aizawa, after all, and we haven't exactly been secretive about it."
"He knows," Coffee-Brain confirmed.
"He is all-knowing, supreme master of the secrets of the dark, lord of shadows, ruler--"
"Tokoyami, stop ," Invisibitch whined while Fluttershy covered his ears and hid under his notebook.
"Aren't you supposed to be the resident dark lord?" Fur-Face jabbed at the crow with the end of his pencil, maybe hoping to provoke him.
"Oo~ I'm a hufflepuff!" Denki interjected.
"Hmm... yes..." Edgar Allen Crow admitted thoughtfully. Suddenly, he stood up, Dark Shadow snapping awake from where it had been sleeping across Caffeine-Addiction's desk. "A duel then! To the death! Let us see whom commands the blackness of--" An Ectoplasm clone materialized in front of him, prompting him to sit back down. Octo-Arms pat him solemnly on the back. "Maybe later."
Nodding in satisfaction, Ectoplasm turned to continue his lecture as though it had never been interrupted--
And the bell rang, effectively silencing the unfortunate teacher.
Dead-Eyes screeched, but Kiri had already sprinted across the room and kidnapped him so he couldn't skip out on their assigned patrol. Bakugou growled, wondering how Kirishima planned on teaching the violet-haired emo. He hoped Kiri had better sense than to take the rookie to Spades’ nightclub. He'd end up getting shot for sure, and Bakugou had a feeling Spades would have an instant dislike for the guy and try to kill him in seconds.
Bakugou scratched that thought as he stood with his bags. Kiri should definitely take him to Spade's club.