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It was hard not to notice that Shouto had been going out more lately.
He was seeing someone. Touya knew the signs.
The constant texting, the slipping out, the distracted look in his eyes every time he had a moment to himself, they all led to the conclusion that Shouto had someone distracting him.
And it wasn’t that Touya didn’t want him to be happy. Of course he did. He’d always been a loving and supportive brother, but Shouto needed to understand that the only person capable of making him happy was him.
They were two sides of the same coin. Everyone saw it. Their parents, their friends, complete strangers seeing them for the first time. Together they practically made one person, and Shouto was going to let some outsider ruin that.
Friday night came, and it was one of the few nights everyone was at the estate together, like they were supposed to be. Touya even canceled his own plans for this with the intention of showing Shouto how much better things were when they were together. Here.
But before dinner Touya caught him again in his room getting dressed to go somewhere else. He watched from the doorway as Shouto put on an unfamiliar fragrance and swiped on a sheer layer of chapstick, and Touya’s stomach twisted in a knot.
“Where are you going?”
“I have a date,” he said.
Touya frowned. “With who?”
“You don’t know him,” he said as he flicked a stray piece of hair out of his face.
“Does dad?”
Shouto glanced back at him from the reflection in the mirror, and Touya crossed his arms casually. “Are you going to say something to him?”
“I don’t think I’d have to,” he said. “Think he and mom’ll notice just fine on their own if you’re not here. Fuyumi will be heartbroken.”
“They wanted me to make friends.”
Touya’s mouth quirked in amusement. “Alright.”
Shouto looked exactly like someone who planned to be friendly looked.
“Can you give me a ride,” he asked. “I don’t want to drive back.”
Touya raised an eyebrow. “Then how do you think you’re getting back here?”
Shouto glanced at him in the mirror and slipped an earring through the little hole their parents didn’t know about, the one Touya gave him because Shouto wanted to look just like his big brother.
At what point did he stop admiring him?
At what point did he decide he was old enough to stay out all night?
“If your date sucks, I’m not going to come get you.”
“That won’t be necessary,” he said. “And I’ll compensate you for gas, if you need it.”
Touya waved him off and pushed himself up from the doorframe. “What am I here for if not to spoil my little brother.”
“Thank you.”
He hummed and walked out. “You’ve got ten minutes, or I’m fucking off and leaving you here.”
He considered doing that anyway.
Ten minutes later he and Shouto walked together to the car, Shouto all prim and pretty for some mystery outsider he was content to waste his time with and Touya with his hands in his pockets like he didn’t care one way or another.
He shouldn’t have cared. It annoyed him how much it did, but he couldn’t stop no matter how much he tried.
And he did try.
For months.
It wasn’t always like this.
Something changed for both of them on a family vacation last summer, and they both knew it. Or he thought they knew it.
And then not long after he realized that Shouto was the answer to a question most people spent their whole lives asking themselves, Shouto started going out. Just like tonight.
He never gave names, and he never gave details because that wasn’t the kind of person Shouto was, but Touya wasn’t stupid. Maybe the reason Shouto was never forthcoming on his own was that he wasn’t either, and the thought of that only pissed him off more.
Dangling it in front of his nose without a single drop of remorse. What a heartless and cruel baby brother he was.
Touya played his music loud enough to make his own ears ring, but Shouto never once complained or turned it down himself. Instead he stared vacantly out the window like the passing lights kept him in a daze, and then Touya saw him out of the corner of his eye open a message on his phone.
He swallowed back the taste of metal on his tongue and drove a little slower.
If he wanted to be impatient, he would give him something to be impatient about.
A few minutes later, Touya pulled up to the place where Shouto said his date would be and stopped at the door without worrying about parking. Like he was going to pay for this. Please.
Shouto reached towards the radio and turned the music down, and Touya wondered if he was embarrassed by the noise.
This was a nice place.
Touya’s music wasn’t.
But that used to be how Shouto liked it.
When did he change his mind?
“I’ll be back tomorrow,” Shouto said as he unfastened his seatbelt. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
He moved like he was ready to leave, and something in Touya’s mind snapped.
He couldn’t leave.
Touya reached out and grabbed him by the front of his pretty little turtleneck and pulled him to his lips, kissing him for the first time since they were children when small meaningless acts of affection were something expected from them.
This was not that.
He kissed him again, angry and punishing, and when he finally let go, Shouto stared back at him with wide, gaping eyes, the combination of shock and confusion draining all the life from his face at once.
He looked like he’d seen a ghost, and Touya didn’t bother explaining himself.
“Listen to me, little brother,” he said, his voice low enough just for Shouto, as if anyone could hear them anyway. “You can go and fuck whoever you want, but don’t forget who you’re supposed to be with.”
Shouto blinked at him, his eyes flickering over Touya’s face like his words were some kind of puzzle he only had seconds to solve, but then he glanced at his lips just for a moment like he was considering something else before returning his gaze to his eyes.
“Tou–?”
Touya’s mouth curved into a spiteful grin. “Have fun.”
Shouto looked at him and then back at the door before turning back
“Go,” Touya said, a little louder. “Get out.”
Shouto startled in his seat, and his hand trembled slightly as he fumbled with the door handle. Touya almost felt bad.
Almost.
Touya watched as he stumbled out of the car into the crisp winter air and teetered towards the building like a faun, no longer the perfect long-legged, sharp-browed Todoroki he was always praised so highly for.
Shouto was the most beautiful of all of them, Touya had to admit. Red and white hair split straight down the middle just like Touya’s was once, and two mismatched eyes, somehow taking the best pieces of both of their parents and stitching them together. No one in the world would or could appreciate Shouto’s features the way Touya could. It was damn time Shouto stopped pretending he didn’t know that.
Shouto disappeared into the building, and Touya took a breath before driving off, making way for the cars behind him. Everyone better have a real good goddamn time tonight, he thought to himself, because he for one was having a blast.
He drove about five minutes away before the grinding in his teeth got to him, and he found a place to park outside of a grocery store with no one around to bother him.
He swore under his breath as he banged his head against the steering wheel. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why did he do that?
What kind of a freak of a person got so weird about their little brother going out with someone that they did and said whatever the fuck that was?
“Touya, you psycho ass motherfucker, what the fuck is wrong with you,” he said under his breath.
He pulled at his hair and gritted his teeth and thought it had finally happened. He’d lost his goddamn mind, and there was no coming back from it.
What the fuck did he do?
Touya’s phone lit up the car from its place in the cup holder, and when he picked it up to see who it was, he swore again underneath his breath.
Well fuck.
Shouto: Can you come get me?
Touya held his phone in his hand for a moment without answering, and then he considered not answering at all just to not have to deal with this.
Touya: i told you i’m not coming back
Touya: find your own way home
Shouto: Please
He exhaled a deep breath and looked out the window. It was pitch black out, cold, and everyone with something better to do was off doing something better to do. That was what Shouto wanted too, wasn’t it? To fuck off, fuck around, and live his life away from him?
If he wanted to be grown up so bad, then fine.
Touya’s phone vibrated against his leg, and he looked again to see another message.
Shouto: Touya…
He dropped his phone back in the cupholder and started the car again with a sharp son of a bitch on his tongue.
Fuck it.
Fuck.
It.
Touya drove back, scratching anxiously at the nape of his neck as his heart pounded in his chest. He was fucked, and he knew it, but he was less fucked if Shouto kept this to himself, which he would do because Shouto knew when to keep a secret.
But it wouldn’t matter because he would never look at him the same way again. Touya would never be the big brother he looked up to after this. Fuck, if anything, he just did one hell of a job of pushing Shouto away for life.
That wasn’t what he wanted.
That was never what he wanted.
They were two sides of the same coin, two halves of the same person, and it wasn’t Shouto who severed them. It was Touya.
“Goddamnit, you stupid crazy bastard,” he said to himself.
Touya drove back and got in line three cars behind the person giving their keys to the valet, and he reached for his phone to tell Shouto he was there, but before he could, he saw the figure moving from the main door down the line towards him.
Shouto half jogged to the car, and well, that wasn’t what Touya expected, but then again, it was cold as fuck out. It could have just been that.
He got in with a brisk shiver, and Touya raised an eyebrow. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yes, let’s go,” he said, and Touya blinked a few times, waiting for the rest of it, but nothing else came.
No explanation, no tirade, nothing.
Touya nodded and pulled the car out from the valet line, earning a few angry honks, which he promptly flipped a finger to. Like he gave a rat’s ass what anyone else thought right then when he had real shit to deal with next to him.
Shouto didn’t say a word, and Touya kept the radio on as a buffer.
He was so fucked he went from pissed to light headed.
Having Shouto scream at him would have been better than this.
But this silence… was him.
As frustrating as it was, Shouto not saying anything was more true to his nature than letting it out was, and of all the times he had ever seen him angry, he only ever blew up twice.
Pretty damn different from Touya.
Maybe he was wrong about them. Maybe they weren’t the same at all.
Fuck.
“Pull over,” Shouto said.
“What?”
“There,” he said, pointing ahead. “Pull over there.”
Touya slowed down and got into the needed lane, confused but somewhat compliant. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the youngest of the family barking orders, but he did what he said anyway, if only just to have his own curiosity satisfied.
He pulled the car into a dark side street. There weren’t any other vehicles or people around, and the lights from the road they came from didn’t quite reach this far. It wasn’t somewhere he would have ever brought him on purpose, but this was where Shouto wanted to go, so that’s where they went.
Touya parked and took a breath.
“Okay, we need to–.”
Shouto lunged forward, cutting him off. He pressed his lips against his, slightly parted like he wanted Touya to part his too.
So he did as a small invitation, but he didn’t expect to have his brother’s tongue flick between his lips for him with the kind of experience that made that earlier rage boil back in his chest.
Touya pushed back, forcing Shouto’s mouth open so he could have him properly. If Shouto wanted to kiss someone, he was going to be the one to teach him how, not the other way around, and he certainly wasn’t going to have one of his stupid little time wasters doing it for him.
Shouto gasped and took a fist of Touya’s hair. The tug didn’t hurt, but it caught him by surprise, causing him to pull back to see Shouto’s kiss-stricken features barely concealed in the dark.
“Who taught you that,” he said, out of breath.
“Who taught you?”
Touya’s eyebrows raised in surprise, and Shouto turned and immediately got out of the car.
“Where do you think you’re going,” he said, mildly concerned that he was going to have to chase him down in the middle of the night.
Shouto slammed the door, and before Touya could get his seatbelt off to chase him, the back one opened with Shouto getting back in.
Oh.
Oh fuck.
Touya scrambled to get out, and by the time he made it to the backseat, Shouto was reaching for him, dragging him back in until he was plastered on top of him, clumsy and stupid.
Shouto groaned into his mouth as his hips pressed down against his, and Touya grabbed the back of the seat before doing it again, this time on purpose.
He felt his belt loosen as Shouto reached between them to undo his pants, pushing them down as far as he could manage in the congested space.
Shouto palmed him through his underwear, going right for his cock without a second thought, and Touya couldn’t even be mad that his little brother was already so direct with what he wanted.
“What’s got you all worked up, Shou,” he teased.
Shouto ignored him with a flick of his wrist and kissed up to his mouth eagerily and with a locked in focus.
Touya decided then to stop asking questions and just let whatever this was happen.
They both managed to get their pants down enough that Touya could rut against Shouto like he was meant to, and Shouto panted desperately against his lips, wholly giving in to the friction.
Of course only Touya could make him feel this good from barely anything. Shouto should’ve known better than to look anywhere else. This was going to be a valuable lesson for him.
Shouto pulled him down to him, bucking his hips up for more, and all they could do at that point was rut together like animals in what little space they had.
The windows fogged up around them, and if anyone passed, Touya’s music would have drowned out any noise in or out anyway, but it didn’t matter one way or another. All he cared about was how good it felt having his little brother squirming beneath him, and that Shouto was clearly enjoying himself.
He found himself chasing gasps, pulling them out of Shouto anyway he could, and they were better than whatever came out of anyone Touya ever wasted time with before.
Shouto moaned against his mouth, high and airy, and Touya reached between them to first yank up Shouto’s sweater and then get his hand around his pretty cock.
He smeared a mix of both of them to make the slide a little easier, and Shouto immediately started to fuck up into his palm, so desperate to come that he didn’t care that he was practically bucking.
But like a good brother, Shouto reached for him too, and Touya hovered over him as Shouto mewled beneath, working so hard to get them both off.
He huffed against Shouto’s mouth, almost identical to his own, and he bit down on one of his pretty lips, earning a keen.
He was so close just from this.
Touya wondered selfishly if he was a virgin.
Shouto cried out as he came over his own stomach, hips jerking unsteadily as Touya milked him through it, and once he was finished, boneless and happy, Touya grabbed his own cock and fucked himself over Shouto’s exposed belly, brows furrowed as he painted over the mess Shouto already made.
God he looked so god covered in them.
“Fuck,” he swore, and all Shouto could do was try to catch his breath, completely ruined in the backseat of his big brother’s car.
They would have to find a way to do this in the house somehow. Shouto deserved a bed, Touya thought, but their walls were so thin at home, there was a real risk of someone who couldn’t understand finding out what they had done.
Be he would have him.
Not like this, but with someone speared and someone filled. That was the right way.
Shouto pulled him down to his mouth into a tender kiss, completely lost in his afterglow, and Touya let him have it without any teasing remarks. He could have whatever he wanted.
But it couldn’t last forever.
They eventually had to go home, and they did, silently with Shouto’s eyes unfocused out of the window. Touya couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but he wasn’t the kind of person to ask.
He gnawed on his own lip until it bled, and he didn’t say anything either.
Before they went inside, Shouto wiped himself clean with a shirt found in the back of Touya’s car, and Touya didn’t complain because he couldn’t imagine what would have happened to them if he walked in covered in… well.
Neither one of them said a word to each other the whole walk towards the estate. No promises, no agreements, no threats. It was like it didn’t happen, which somehow only made it that more apparent that it had.
Unfortunately it only made Touya crave it that much more. Now that he knew what Shouto’s lips tasted like, he wanted them, he wanted to climb into his bed and fuck while no one knew, and he wanted Shouto to climb into his on his own because he needed it.
Shouto’s face was expressionless, but that was expected. A lack of a reaction was meaningless with him.
But Touya needed to know.
He needed to know if Shouto knew what he did.
Touya glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. He had to.
They walked back into the house, and Fuyumi greeted them with a curious expression as she came around the corner.
“Where have you two been?”
“A friend of mine is leaving the country,” Shouto said. “Touya took me to say goodbye.”
Liar…
“Oh that was nice,” she said, looking at them both.
“Don’t act so surprised,” Touya said, casually stepping past her. “I am nice.”
“I just finished dinner,” she said. “You two should go sit down.”
“I think I would like to take a shower first,” Shouto said.
“After Fuyumi worked so hard making such a big meal for us?” Touya said, pretending to scold him, but Fuyumi couldn’t see the smirk on his face from behind her back. “Ungrateful…”
Shouto took a deep, tense breath and nodded.
Alright, Touya may have wanted answers, but he was still his older brother. Being a bastard to him was his birthright.
It was important that Shouto understood that.