Chapter Text
Natto.
In Isagi's correct opinion, it was one of the worst foods out there. Stinky, slimy, and nasty unless you drown it in rice and other ingredients, which he couldn't do in Blue Lock.
He hated it.
He was having yet another nightmare–- he’d already weathered four in the past day.
The smell of alphan lust filled the air. He couldn't even struggle this time: he was stuck, his ability to move unresponsive. They say that the smell of an alpha’s arousal is supposed to smell appealing to an omega; all of them just want to be bred, after all.
Isagi thought it stunk like rot.
Calloused hands grazed over his body. Some lustful, some curious. Poking and prodding at him like he was an inanimate object. Their touches were dirty and slimy.
He detested his inability to stop the assault on his body and mind. It was all disgusting and nasty to him, yet he couldn't end it.
Natto.
He remembered when he used to eat nothing but natto, miso soup and rice for all of his meals. Over and over and over again, until he started to score more goals and his meals were upgraded. He had never wanted to eat natto for what seemed like an eternity to him. He had never asked for it, never wanted for it. His favorite food was curry.
He had wanted to be an omega, back when his life was simpler and stress-free. But once he saw just how omegas were treated in society, he quickly buried that want somewhere far, far away.
Now all he wanted was to play football with his friends, and for his secondary gender to stay a beta for as long as he needed to.
He had it all planned out since Blue Lock won against the U-20 Japan team. Hope and pray that Mick would find a way to tweak his pills so they would always suppress and hide his omega even though Isagi hated them, join the same team that Bachira or some of the others were on. 'Settle down' with a nice beta girl– maybe even an omega if he got really popular, and reveal his true identity to her. A friend, more than a wife, to confide in.
But he always knew that it was all only a fantasy. His time to play was running out. He'd worked so hard, much harder than any other of his teammates to make it where he was today; yet it was all for naught. He was being hunted down by just about everyone in Japan like he was some sort of felon, and he knew that he would receive a lot of hate once he presented.
How was simply playing football as an omega a bad thing? The pills gave him disadvantages, not any leg up when it came to the sport he loved, so accusing him of any sort of cheating would be nonsense. What did he ever do wrong? Was his freedom that big of an issue?
It seemed to him that he should've erased the word free from his vocabulary when he presented.
And it’s back to natto again. Eating it over and over and over again. Going through challenges and adversity over and over and over again. Pushing his body beyond its already broken limits, over and over and over!
And as his vision shifted to him laying on the surfaces of several different places: a dark alley floor, a hospital counter, a prison bed, an auction table-
He realized that he would just have to get used to the cruel treatment. He would have to not mind any belittlement, any dehumanization that others inflicted on him.
Even worse than the natto he ate for weeks and weeks on end, the natto that was so unappealing to him, the natto that he hated–
He would go through what he never wanted until it either killed him or he did it to himself. A life without his passion, without football– was not a life worth living to Isagi.
He could only watch as the hands drifted closer, closer, closer to him...
"Honey, try and get up for me." Iyo called softly, startling Isagi out of his sleep paralysis. He looked around frantically, nearly hyperventilating before he realized that he was in his room, on his bed, and not anyone else's. She placed her hand on his back, smiling kindly as she looked into her son's eyes.
"Bad dream?"
"Y-yeah…it was sleep paralysis this time. Probably thanks to the fact that I nearly died right outside." He shuddered, chucking lightly in disbelief and tapering off with a whimper. Iyo's kind eyes grew worried, shaking her head at Isagi.
"Listen to me. I know what happened on the porch was something extremely traumatic. Judging by how you said that you 'had no friends', you've probably gone through some unfortunate things in a very short amount of time. But me and your father will always be here for you. We will never turn our backs on you; you're our only beloved son, our only child. So don't be scared about what will happen to you in the future, and don't worry about anybody else. Just know that your parents are on your side. Nobody can take you away from us, omegas aren't property; and my job as your mother, as well as your dad's job as your father is to protect you with everything we have. So please, relax a little bit, Yoichi." His mother promised. Isagi's breathing stabilized with each word she spoke to him.
"Mom-" he croaked, his voice so full of emotion that he couldn't speak clearly.
"Shh, darling. I'm your mother, that's what I'm here for. Now, I did come here and wake you up to discuss what you'll do next. We won't make any decisions without your 100% agreement; it's all about you and your life, after all."
She then helped Isagi up, whose nerves were still buzzing from the paralysis he just awoke from, and guided him to the living room where Issei was already sitting. He turned to the pair, a small but worried smile on his face.
"Bad dream?" he asked, which he responded to with a nod. Issei didn't fret; he knew that his wife had already taken care of it.
"We need to talk about your next steps, Yoi. I know we woke you up a bit quickly, but me and your mother thought that it would be best to wake you so you could tell us about anything you wanted to do from here on out."
Isagi nodded once more before settling into the couch, sighing contently at its softness and warmth. Iyo and Issei watched as their son started to nuzzle the couch, nearly rolling off of it as he tried to feel as much of its softness as possible. He basically forgot that his parents were even present for about five minutes before his mother called out to him.
"Yoichi?" She called, startling Isagi. He froze in his tracks, blinking rapidly at her before sitting straight up.
"I have no idea what that was." he blurted, embarrassed but also oddly soothed. Issei smiled at him, with no worry blotting his features this time.
"There's no need to apologize. To love warm and soft things is your instinct, after all. Personally, I'm thrilled that you still even possess your instincts after all of those pills you took...I'm not blaming you, of course, I'm just happy that you can still be your own natural self. That also leads me to what we need to talk about first: do you want to reveal yourself as an omega after your heat?"
"Yes!" Isagi answered, startling his parents. “It’s not like the pills would work after that anyways."
'And I refuse to go down still hiding who I am.' He thought, sitting up tall as he declared his intent to his parents.
"That's...very brave of you, Yoichi. I'm glad that you want to do that." His father spoke, softly beaming at Isagi. "Where do you plan to spend it? We can clear a room upstairs for you if you need it-"
"Nooo, I can't spend it here! The noses of alphas are too strong, they'll smell me from miles away! Plus, my friends– my teammates are looking for me; they don't know this address, but they know how the house looks. It'll only be a matter of time before they get here…so before that happens, I plan to go somewhere secluded while you guys stay in a hotel for a while. I know it's inconvenient, but I think I would lose my mind if one of you got hurt because of me.”
Iyo and Issei nodded, surprised at how far their son had thought this out.
“What about afterwards?” His mother asked.
Isagi tensed, the question weighing heavy on his mind. He had been thinking about what to do after he presented multiple times: from the very first time he had taken the first pill, in fact. Several times in school, at Blue Lock, a little on the bus ride home, even in another dream prior to the natto incident.
Yet, every single path he seemed to forge in his mind would always leave him defeated. In some scenarios, he would be one of those naked and barefoot omegas that weren’t allowed to leave the house, subservient to their alpha. In another couple, he was publicly shamed and banned from playing football. A few more showcased him being forced into sex work, reduced to just another victim of the high-earning industry.
Only one of them had him and his friends work their problems out together, but he brushed that one off as a lucid dream.
Every single path he could imagine, every way he could go would always end up in utter failure. If the result wasn’t him playing world-class football again, it was a bust.
But as he gazed at his parents' caring faces, not once showing any signs of untruthfulness, he realized that maybe not every path was destroyed for him. As long as he had them and a couple other people that he could lean on, he could take on the world for his dream and never stop fighting.
“I’ve been thinking about that for nearly a decade now. I usually come up with blanks, but…if I have you guys, I think that this can work. You said that they couldn’t just take me, right? Which means I have no reason to go anywhere or do anything that I don’t want to. I don’t care about what anyone thinks of me after I present, all I know is that I’m staying here or wherever else I want to!” Isagi declared, confidence laced in every word he spoke.
Iyo and Issei gazed at their son with a combination of pride and worry. Iyo started to tear up again for the fifth time that day, while Issei consoled her by wrapping his arm around her. She quickly wiped her tears before looking at Isagi with a sudden intensity.
“You don’t have much time left. I’ll pack pillows, blankets, lots of food and drinks, and a bunch of pain meds in your bag; you just need to focus on getting ready. I assume you’ll be going to the old man’s shop?” She asked, getting up from the couch and fetching a bag for him. Isagi was startled at how quickly his mother took control, but shook himself out of it and responded.
“Yeah, I am. When I last called you a couple of weeks ago, you said that he was going on some sort of ‘spring vacation’ for a couple of months and didn’t lock the place up, so…that seems like the best place to lay low until my heat is over.” He explained. His mother nodded, then shooed him upstairs with a couple of flicks of her hand.
“Hurry and get ready, time is going!”
With a deep breath, Isagi nodded and went upstairs to take a shower and pack anything else he needed. His mother quickly got to work, rushing around the house like a whirlwind. His father stayed on the couch for a couple more minutes, staring at the wall as he contemplated everything that had occurred that day. With a sigh, he pushed himself off of the couch and went to go assist his wife.
After around thirty minutes had passed, Isagi made his way back downstairs. He purposefully dressed himself in an oversized gray hoodie and some black sweats to appear as inconspicuous as possible; not like he would be running into anyone anyways, but better to be safe than sorry. In a small backpack he had only packed his burner phone, stringed earphones, a charger, a watch, and his seven favorite plushies that took up 90% of the space.
He left his Noa plushie upstairs.
“Got everything?” His father asked, approaching him with a box of scent patches. They were pretty rare to find in stores– betas had no use for them unless they wanted to be completely undetected, alphas preferred to impose their scent on everyone else (typical), and only unmated omegas used them. Therefore, they weren’t present in stores most of the time. Isagi had no idea how his parents managed to get their hands on some, but chose to not question it.
“Yup…” He responded, taking two patches from the box and swiftly applying them to his neck and wrist glands. He glanced at his father once he was done, giving him a tight nod. Issei gave his son a small smile in return before dropping more scent patches into his hand.
Isagi looked down at the patches, zoning out in an attempt to curb the nervousness that ran through him.
‘Maybe it was obvious from the start. Why would a beta be so adamant about wearing scent patches 24/7, especially when everyone was already scent-suppressed? They might have already had a clue about me being an omega.’
‘Is that why they treated me so badly at first?’ Isagi pondered, recalling his life at Blue Lock prior to the U-20 game.
Sure, he had a few casual friends from the very beginning: Bachira, Chigiri and Kunigami, amongst other acquaintances, but that didn’t mean that they all went through more or less the same experience at Blue Lock.
They were alphas. Bachira and Kunigami were Primes on top of that—few and far in between, yet rulers of the entire building. So they certainly weren’t bothered by anyone besides another competitive alpha or a teasing friend. The regular alphas clashed frequently, but the threat of being booted from the program stopped them from full-on fistfighting. Plus, they all held a level of respect towards each other that prevented them from ever crossing the line; an ‘alpha code’ of sorts.
Blue Lock was an environment all about rigid, exhausting schedules and strict rules with harsh consequences. Curated by Ego, it was to weed out all of the ‘rubbish’ and leave only those who had a strong passion for football; a passion so strong that it would surpass the intolerance that alphas naturally had for things that they couldn’t control.
Bone-tired from the fierce daily training, frustrated at Ego/teammates/lack of phones (used to view adult content) and sick of the rules, everybody in Blue Lock had at least some anger always present with them. A type of anger that couldn’t just be disposed of by doing something calming, but had to be soothed at the expense of another. It was the selfish, cruel type of anger exclusive to alphas. And who would take the brunt of it?
Nobody other than the only beta in the building, excluding Anri.
It was nothing like being beat up, forced to give something to someone, getting shoved into a locker or anything like that. He would’ve taken one of those over what happened to him any day.
Isagi’s early Blue Lock days were made dreary by the constant disrespect he went through. During warmups or drills, before they warmed up to him, his team would pass to one another and make a clear effort to exclude him, even if it meant messing up the entire drill. If he made even the smallest of mistakes, the entire team would be on him, yelling and snapping their jaws.
At the gym, they would rush to occupy every machine that he usually worked at and stayed on them, sometimes not even using them, until he grew too frustrated and left. He had tried to ask them to move a couple of times, but it would be met with something like ‘what makes you think you can order me around?’ or ‘do you really want your ass beat? I don’t mind the punishment if it means that you get put in your place as a beta.’ .
Every time he walked the hallways by himself, they would snicker and glare, baring their fangs at him when he glared back. They would deliberately block his way, ignoring all of his timid ‘excuse me…’ s and making him squeeze past them. Constant whispers of ‘fraud’, ‘upstart’, ‘weak-ass’ and lots more followed him whenever he went somewhere alone.
And although Isagi didn’t let it show too much, the harassment, coupled with how much he already struggled with the pills, had him on the verge of quitting the entire program. More often than not he would cry himself to sleep, wondering just why he was being treated so badly. He was (excluding when he was on the field) a good person; he never fought anybody, never broke the rules, was kind to everyone and compassionate to those that were sad. He always tried to stay out of the way in conflicts and tried to make everyone happy. What had he ever done to warrant such bullying?
Sad, tired, bruised from practice/games, lonely and constantly sick, Isagi was ready to let Ego know that he was done. He just wanted to go home to the only two people that seemed to genuinely appreciate him. Luckily, the second selection started the day before he planned to quit, which made him want to see it through to the end. Nearly all of the alphas that bullied him were eliminated between the first and the third selections, which made Isagi’s life a lot easier. Any that remained quickly got with the ‘we like Isagi’ agenda.
He had become closer to his friends than ever, and made more friends after the U-20 game. He was dubbed ‘the Heart of Blue Lock’ and became wildly popular with everyone in the facility. All of the harassment that had nearly driven him to quit had vanished like it had never happened. Even while being separated from them during the NEL, he still held them close. He truly believed that they would all make it to the World Cup together and win it. Perhaps he could even reveal his true nature as an–
‘People he had trusted, played alongside, cared for, loved…laughing as they had just heard the funniest joke in the world and not the story of a scared, lonely, wary omega.’
It was like he had been slapped with a slab of rock.
Isagi flinched, shocking him out of his trance. He looked around frantically, deflating onto the couch when he realized that he was in his house and not in the Blue Lock cafeteria when that happened. The laughs echoed in his ears, sounding like something straight out of a horror movie. He heard footsteps getting closer to him and quickly wiped the newly formed sweat off of his brow, trying to appear casual. He was very thankful that he didn’t go into a drop again. With a smile, he looked at his mom who had a huge tote bag in tow.
“I made sure to pack all of your favorite pillows and blankets, all sorts of pain relievers, a hot water bottle, slippers, an extra charger…” His mother told him, going down the long list of everything she had packed in his bag. Thankfully, most of it was lightweight or small, so he didn’t worry about having to lug it all the way to the shop.
“...earmuffs, some paper towels and tissues, hand sanitizer, lotion, your Nintendo if you get bored, and an entire jar of kintsuba!” She finished, zipping up the tote bag that had grown to a seemingly impossible size. Isagi grew slightly worried about whether he could actually lift the bag or not.
“Thank you, Mom.” He smiled. She smiled back at him before furrowing her eyebrows.
“Are you ok? You look very pale–-has it hit?!” She asked, running to get him a glass of water and pressing it to his lips.
“I’m fine, just…worn out.” He answered.
Between yesterday night’s news, the first nightmare, his encounter with Igaguri in the morning, the cafeteria incident, his memories on the bus ride, almost dying on his front porch from a drop, the natto sleep paralysis, all of the restless sleeps and nightmares that he had afterwards, and his most recent recalling of the cafeteria incident; he was more than just worn out.
He was a bit confused on how he was even still alive, and couldn’t really grasp how all of that had happened during the span of one day when it felt like he had been awake for years. Becoming the most valued player of the entire NEL was the least of what had happened to him in the past 24 hours.
But if he told his mom everything that really happened to him that day, she wouldn’t even let him take a single step out of the house, so he decided to simplify it by using the phrase ‘worn out’.
“Honey, I know you must be feeling all sorts of ways right now, but keep your head up. Remember what we talked about: no matter what happens, you’ll always be our son and we’ll always love you. Keep that in your mind and in your heart, and do what you need to do.”
Isagi nodded, hugging his mom and burying his face in her shoulder to stop the tears that threatened to spill out of his eyes. He then looked up at his dad, who had walked into the room while they were hugging and also hugged him. He stepped back from the both of them, willing his tears away with a loud sniffle. If he cried another time to them, he knew that he would lose all willingness to go somewhere else and would give up on hiding.
“Taking your bike?” His dad asked him.
“Yeah.”
If his parents were to take him, their license plate would be captured by the cameras on the roads and they would be tracked down. Isagi didn’t want to take any risks, so he decided to take the biking path to the shop: there were no cameras on it, and the shop was only about seven miles away. He needed to leave quickly, before his preheat really hit hard and he became too weak to ride his bike that far.
Isagi picked up his bag—it was heavy, definitely, but not to the point that the basket on his bike couldn’t sustain—and made his way to the back door.
“Call us if you need anything, alright?” His dad told him. The phone he was using was a burner that was ‘untrackable’, according to Mick: he had given it to him a couple of years ago for situations like this.
He hugged his parents one last time before going to retrieve his bike from the shed in the backyard. His parents waved at him for a couple of seconds, watching him until he reached the shed and closing the door. They also had to move quickly and pack to leave.
At the sound of the door closing, Isagi froze. He started to tremble, but calmed himself down with a few deep breaths.
'There’s no going back now. Better hurry up and leave before anyone starts to snoop around here.’
With practiced movements, he brought his bike out of the shed, lugged his bag off of his back and into the basket, and led the bike to the trails right behind his house. He mounted it with ease, testing out the pedals and brakes to make sure that there was nothing wrong with them. He sighed contently, tracing the spine of the bike with his hand. He made several memories, both good and bad, while riding it. He felt slightly better on it while having the worst day of his life; it was something like a familiar light in the darkness.
He was also confident that there would be nobody else out. The sun had already set, the last vestiges of light slipping away by the minute. His neighborhood had grown shadier as the years passed, causing most young families to move away. It was mostly either adults that didn’t have the money to move, or old people that would be in bed by 7 P.M. None of those people really liked to go out at night.
Feeling prepared and a bit calmer than before, he took a sip of water from a bottle that his mom had packed him and started to pedal his way to where he would spend his first heat.
“Shoot, I forgot to put my hood on.” He muttered, stopping his pedaling for a second to cover his head with the hood.
‘ Alpha!’
Isagi froze. Someone was getting closer behind him. He would’ve known even if his omega didn’t announce it to him; the air had changed.
He tried to move, to pedal as fast as he could away from whoever that was , but he had stayed as still as a statue.
He could only listen in fear as silence gave way to footsteps, faint but increasing in volume with each step. Closer, closer, closer…
‘Did the natto dream foreshadow this?’
Another couple of footsteps. Some leaves rustling. The sound of the intake of breath, only detectable in complete silence.
And one word.
“Isagi?”
‘Alpha.’ His Voice cooed.