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when i’m with you (it’s paradise)

Summary:

“Do you know how much I look forward to our weekly chats?”

I have an inkling, some traitorous, abhorrent voice in the back of Xiao’s mind speaks and in turn rests the words on the tip of his tongue, threatening to force him into admitting them aloud. But only because I look forward to them just as much.

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It’s in the early hours of a Friday morning in Liyue when Barbatos meets Alatus atop the highest balcony of Wangshuu Inn, the air crisp and fresh accompanied by a still-dark sky and bright half moon. 

Though it’s not the first time, and they’re both sure won’t be the last. The two meet not as their intimidating, all-powerful names may make it seem, but as Bard and defender of Liyue, Venti and Xiao.

Xiao knows exactly when Venti is close to arriving as a harsh gust of wind begins to trill in the air, only becoming louder and stronger with every passing second. It’s always enough to shake the table and tea-set, which is how Xiao learned early on to not begin pouring the tea until after Venti is seated.

Their meetings at the Inn first came to years ago, shortly after Xiao had began his residency there, and they continued to occur so often that Verr Goldet took notice and decided it’s easier for everyone involved if she left a table and two stools out for them indefinitely, eliminating the need for Xiao to continue to ask the workers at the Inn beforehand.

The boss still doesn’t truly know who the man Xiao meets weekly with exactly is or why they even have these meetings— But she’s a good boss, in the way where she doesn’t pry, though Xiao has an inkling she does indulge (or at least listen in) to the rumours that float around about them between the Inn’s staff. 

The closest tale the workers have spun (that he’s heard) to the truth so far is that Venti and Xiao are longtime lovers, torn apart by Xiao’s duty to the people of Liyue and Venti’s work wherever it is he comes from (they still aren’t sure. A fact Xiao is grateful for), who are only able to see each other in these odd hours, conversing over tea to fill each other in on the separate lives they begrudgingly lead, before they sneak off to the comfort of Xiao’s room just in time for the sun to rise—

And, well. It just goes to show how interesting the stories that humans make up out of sheer boredom during their work are occasionally and how… intriguingly strange mortals’ imaginations can be.

Speaking of meetings. The table begins to shake, shuddering the fine, pristine tea-set Xiao had put some of his own mora into a few months back, for lack of better things to use it on. 

Xiao looks to the sky, squinting his eyes in an attempt to see if the figure, getting closer and closer with every passing second, is Venti who’s riding the wind. 

Of course it is, Xiao snarks at himself in his own mind as he stands to meet the Archon, who else would be out at this hour, on this particular day, traveling by wind to Wangshuu Inn?

As Venti gets closer and closer, he also gets faster and faster, no doubt having recognised the now-familiar Inn and Xiao standing atop the balcony, awaiting his arrival. 

Venti is actually barreling towards Xiao at an alarming speed— a fact the Adeptus realises only as he’s a few mere feet away, though his swift reflexes, as always, work faster than his mind does and in a split-second he’s jump-stepping atop the railing, making an effort to plant his feet as best as he can on the unsteady metal bars lest they both end up barrelling backwards into the brick roofing.

He’s successful in catching Venti, both unsurprised (he has much faith in his body working ‘fore his mind does,) and relieved (he still wasn’t completely confident he’d pull it off) at the fact, but he does get a knee to the stomach and an armful of the Anemo Archon in the process, an excited shriek followed by panting in his ear as if Venti’d just finished running a marathon (in a way, he kind of did. The travel from Mondstadt to Liyue, by such an unorthodox way no less, is no joke.)

Xiao winces at the sudden impact & loud noise so close to his hearing, though he shakes it off quickly enough to where Venti doesn’t even realize he’d caused him (albeit minimal, and accidental) pain. 

One of Xiao’s hands moves of its own accord when it snakes up from where he’d ended up gripping Venti by his waist to instead the back of his head, his fingers tangling in the short navy strands there, stepping backwards to get them both off the extremely high & unstable ledge, and in response to the unintentional hair-playing Venti presses his cheek to Xiao’s with a content sigh, seemingly not intending on letting up on the tight grip he’s holding Xiao in right now, what between the arms wound around his neck to the thighs clenched around his hips, Xiao is physically, and mentally, helpless.

“Alatus,” Venti murmurs in his ear, and it sends an awful chill down Xiao’s spine he has to argue with his body to suppress, along with a strange feeling in his gut he attempts to justify as a delayed panic at Venti’s reckless antics and not the fact that their bodies are pressed together, chest to chest, heart to heart, and Venti’s whispering in his ear— “I had no doubts you’d catch me. That was awfully fun.” 

“I have quick reflexes.” Xiao blurts out, embarrassed by the not-so hidden compliment on his abilities and the fact he’s got Venti hanging off him like a sloth on a tree. He tenses up, cringing at his useless response, and Venti (both thankfully & unthankfully) takes Xiao’s quick change in body language as his cue to unwrap himself from the Adeptus. 

Xiao blinks down at Venti when he’s back on his own two feet, his right cheek still burning, or is it both of them? My entire face…? from the previous contact, who meets his gaze head on with only a sweet grin. Xiao clears his throat, tearing his eyes from the Archon somewhat regretfully, he really does have a nice smile, and it’s even nicer when he’s doing it at you, for you.

He turns to the table and seats, moving to sit down while avoiding looking at Venti though he’s fully aware that he follows Xiao’s lead instantaneously. Xiao’s unable to stop himself from giving into the urge of watching him— drinking up every moment he can get and praying it’ll hold up in his memory— sit down in the seat across through his peripheral vision as Xiao’s eyes truly focus on pouring the freshly brewed tea into their respective cups.

“Barbatos—” Xiao starts, then shakes his head as if that wasn’t what he’d meant to begin with. “Could you… please don’t repeat that stunt. If you are able to hold yourself from it, of course. You could have been seriously injured.”

“Really?” Venti chuckles, and it makes Xiao raise his head to look at him, confused as to what’s suddenly funny. “You worry for me?” 

“I—“ Xiao begins, a strange expression comes over his face as he’s suddenly tongue-tied and caught off-guard, ‘fore he quickly collects his thoughts and continues. “Yes. You— My intention is not to patronise or undermine your abilities and physical strength, but it’s instead that I— I rather like you how you are now.”

“Hm?” Venti cocks his head at him, his teeth sinking down on his bottom lip as he stares Xiao down, his entrancing green eyes almost glowing in the darkness of the night. “And how is that?”

“In one piece?” Xiao tries, the attempt at humour falling flat in his tone of voice, and he’d said it rather quietly— though none of it matters as Venti only takes a mere second before he laughs anyway, loudly and unabashedly, like it’s one of the funniest things he’s heard in a while.

“Alatus,” Venti starts when he ceases his soft laughter, and his use of Xiao’s true name when addressing him never fails to weaken his inhuman psyche, no matter the fact Venti is one of the few still standing to even be able to recognise him as and call him such. “Do you know how much I look forward to our weekly chats?”

I have an inkling, some traitorous,  abhorrent voice in the back of Xiao’s mind speaks and in turn rests the words on the tip of his tongue, threatening to force him into admitting them aloud. But only because I look forward to them just as much.

“No,” Xiao tears his gaze from Venti’s face, not too sure when he’d even looked back up at the Archon but he’s now entranced with the way his twin braids swing along to a sudden breeze in an almost hypnotic fashion. He brings the teacup in his hand to his mouth, swallowing harshly at the fuming liquid that falls down his throat, using the drink as an excuse to buy a few seconds more to think of a response, shutting his eyes as he tilts his chin up with the cup to try to think. “How much?”

Something negative and biting bubbles inside his mind & body at the fact that he needed so much mental preparation just to speak two measly words. If he was mortal, he’d likely call it embarrassment.

“Very, very much,” Venti states, and though he has a tone of finality Xiao still has a tiny morsel of suspicion that that wasn’t the end of it, that maybe he had more to say— “So, what’s new?”

“Uh—” Xiao begins, rather dumbly, and clamps his mouth shut as he tries (and fails) to think of any new information that would interest Venti. “I— There isn’t anything, I guess.”

“Nothing?” Venti questions, and the teasing lilt to his voice makes Xiao glance back up at him again, their eyes meeting causing Xiao to freeze. No matter how many times they meet like this, across from each other, Xiao finds that every time he makes eye contact with Venti in this same spot they’ve sat likely a hundred times before now, he has to suppress a chill down his spine, a feeling in his stomach— “There’s nothing at all that you could tell me?”

“No, I—” Xiao tries, but yet again, his mind only comes up with blanks. There are those hilichurls he fought by the bridge that put up a better fight than those of their kind before— But that’s a given, hilichurls and abyss mages and slimes lurking the land. Plus, it’s not like Venti enjoys stories that display Xiao’s physical strength very much, he never really has, and taking into consideration the fact said strength is being used on unworthy weasels of opponents these days, Xiao isn’t too keen on the idea of sharing such a boring encounter. “Nothing interesting. You should be telling me of your week instead.”

Venti continues to look at him, and Xiao, helpless, looks back though surely not with the same amount of intent behind his gaze. Venti has an expression on his face as if to say something, maybe how Xiao’s disappointing him with the fact that he, once again, brings nothing new to their weekly conversations, and it quickly makes him feel scrutinised under his heavy, not entirely comfortable gaze. 

“Please?” Xiao tries, a bit nervously, a lot impatient, hoping a bit of coaxing will get the Archon to share his stories instead. “Please, Barbatos. Tell me what happened in your life the mere seven days we were apart.”

Venti lets out a giggle that he seemingly didn’t intend to let slip past his lips, what with the way he attempts to hide his smile at Xiao’s exasperated, impatient pleading behind the palm of his hand. He shakes his head with it and shuts his eyes, and the sight even makes the corners of Xiao’s lip quirk upwards. Involuntarily, of course.

“Sorry, sorry. You’re just so cute when you ask nicely,” Venti calms himself enough to speak, and looks back up to Xiao through his fluttering lashes. “What happened to me this week? Archons. You should be asking what didn’t happen?”

Xiao wills his heart to quit it’s racing, the harsh way it pounds against his chest catching him by surprise and he panics for a split-second, one ear to the beginning of Venti’s ramblings of mundane events he’d encountered in the week they’d last saw each other & the other to his own mind, ‘fore he quells his own anxiety quickly as he remembers this is an average reaction his body demonstrates in Venti’s presence.

Despite Venti’s week being by all intents and purposes, well— boring, Xiao would be no better than the common fool to deny the fact he has an exceptional talent for storytelling. For the way he spins his recounts to be full of drama, mystery and allure, they’re intriguing and entertaining in a way Xiao doesn’t encounter often.

Maybe that’s why he’s so eager to meet the Archon every week. Always arriving early to their spot with fresh tea prepared in dishes he makes sure are scrubbed spotless every single time. Maybe he’s eager for another reason beneath that, one that involves feeling—

“—But I’ve been having a strange sense that something very interesting is going to be happening to us all soon enough,” Venti’s words pull Xiao from his thoughts, peaking his interest. “Or someone would be the better wording here. Hm…”

“What do you mean?” Xiao rasps, he’d been mostly following along to the multiple stories he’d been telling at once, all branching from each other with seemingly no end in sight— But Venti’s lost him now in his cryptic wording. An interesting person will be happening to them all?

“Oh, just… a hunch, I guess you would call it,” Venti shrugs, picking his teacup up to sip from it. Xiao raises a brow at him, still sceptical, but there are some things Archons are more privy to seeing— Well, feeling, that those unlike them surely wouldn’t be. “Look out for suspiciously intriguing people on your daily rounds for me, would you?” 

I do that anyways, Xiao thinks, and not unkindly, just matter of factly. But there’s something in the wording that makes him consider it once more— For me.

Xiao feels heat rise to his cheeks, thanking the Archons it’s still dark enough in the late night/early morning to not be able to really tell, and his own self is confusing his mind, unable to understand why Venti asking him to do something in his favour is so… flustering.

He doesn’t have time to dwell on it too long, as Venti’s quickly finished off his cup of tea and is throwing himself immediately back into another story. If it was the same one as before, or even any one of them, Xiao wouldn’t know for sure. All he knows is that Venti’s voice is enough to soothe his tense muscles and mind, his words like a sweet, saccharine melody Xiao feels himself succumbing to and relaxing under.

Xiao isn’t sure how many minutes (maybe an hour at this point) have passed when Venti abruptly trails off, and the sudden stop in the tune he was crafting with his mere words this time and not one of his beloved instruments that had been slowly, though surely, sending the Adeptus across from him into a sort of peaceful tranquility he can’t seem to achieve by hearing anyone else speak with no end in sight— startles Xiao.

His eyes flicker back up to where Venti sits across, who’s already staring at him with a sort of eerily serious expression he doesn’t see much on the Archon, not these days. It makes Xiao sit up straight, dropping the spoon he was stirring in a repetitive motion in the (now cold, and half-empty) cup of tea, round and round and round— just for his restless hands to have something to do while he listened.

Xiao opens his mouth even though he’s not even sure what he’s going to say, but there’s no time to attempt to speak mindless words when Venti’s moving from his seat, no doubt dirtying his clothes in the tea with the way he presses his belly to the tabletop in his effort to get closer to Xiao by reaching for him over the table between them. 

Xiao hears the tea-set shake when Venti puts his weight on the rickety table, feels the soft hands that cup his cheeks, brushing his long hair aside and even a few strands behind his ear, Venti invading his space with his own face moving closer to Xiao’s in a way he’s only ever seen mortals do to one another and never felt himself.

A thumb under Xiao’s jaw urges his fallen-open mouth shut again, and his eyes flutter closed on instinct, in trust, as Venti leans in, their noses brushing together being the only thing to warn Xiao the split-second before Venti’s placing his lips on his.

Xiao doesn’t think, he just wants— Oh, how he’s always wanted. His thoughts race in the initial second their lips chastely lock, all the fantasies, inappropriate ways he thinks of Barbatos in private, the feelings he harbours for the Archon that he keeps locked deep within his mind, always futilely attempts to chase away when they appear, so suddenly come to the forefront of his mind like an Electro-shock to his senses. 

Xiao gasps into the kiss, his hand twitching upwards from his side in an aborted movement in a reach for Venti, only wanting to pull him closer and not caring how it’s done just that it is—

But Xiao’s knee-jerk reaction causes Venti to pull away, though he doesn’t go far, as he’s still close enough for Xiao to feel puffs of breath on his cheeks. For a few seconds he stares down at Xiao, who’s unblinking, unmoving, until the Adeptus’ eyes flutter open and Venti’s warm palms slip from his cheeks like grains of sand between the gaps of one’s fingers.

“Forgive me,” Venti blurts, pushing himself so quickly out of Xiao’s space it’s as if a gust of wind forced him back into his seat and not his own body. He wears a strange expression, a mix of shock and sadness that confuses Xiao, his next words not helping to soothe his misunderstanding any better. “Even— It— Shit, it seems even someone like me can fall victim to those human emotions you despise so much.”

Venti finishes speaking with a deprecating chuckle and stands, pushing himself from his seat with two hands on the table, and Xiao, still awed and confused by the kiss, is helpless to do anything but watch. His eyes, and in turn his head, follow Venti as he turns his back to Xiao and swiftly swings his legs over the railing. 

“Wait,” Xiao says, and even if Venti heard him speak it doesn’t deter him in the slightest. “Barbatos!”

With a strong gust of wind, Venti is propelled from the railing of Wangshuu Inn and into the sky, presumably heading back to where he first came from. 

“Don’t go! Barbatos—” Xiao jumps from his seat, his outstretched hand only managing to grasp at thin air as Venti’s far gone by the time he makes it to where he’d just fell from. Xiao can’t even see him anymore, just a rapidly retreating speck in the sky that could be the Archon, or a bird, or a star, for all he knows— raising his voice in an attempt to be heard by the Archon who’d seemingly just confessed his love for him.

Xiao’s hand drops to the railing where Venti’d just been seconds prior, curling around it in a strong grip as he bows his head. He doesn’t yet know what to do, how to feel, if he should attempt to give chase or not.

He grits his teeth as he wills his mind to work, to think of something he could do to show Venti he isn’t rejecting his sudden, somewhat shocking though not at all displeasing, romantic advances.

Xiao has a mind that excels in combat. Strategies, techniques, weaponry, all things of that nature— Not in feelings, that’s why he says what he does, pathetic excuses that help aid in his attempt to pretend he doesn’t feel emotions like humans do, when in actuality he simply doesn’t know how to handle them.

He raises his head, peering out into the general direction of Mondstadt, the icy peaks of Dragonspine’s mountains obstructing his view, though even with advanced senses like his he’s aware he wouldn’t be able to see far enough to be able to look at another nation entirely. 

Raising his hand that isn’t gripping the railing, he outstretches it in the same direction he currently gazes upon, and prepares to use an ability he doesn’t take advantage of often, doesn’t even feel there’s really a need to. 

Now, there surely is.

A miniature whirlwind, akin to a tornado in appearance though far calmer, begins to swirl in the palm of Xiao’s hand through sheer mental willpower in his frantic mind. 

Venti had actually been the one to first show him the trick, and many alongside it. He’d been patient in his teachings, enjoyed it even when Xiao was mostly uninterested and had to be convinced into learning the more passive abilities an Anemo vision grants him, he’s grateful to him now. Xiao reminisces fondly on the pleasant memory, and it aids in keeping his mind focused on the task at hand, that being to send Venti a message through the winds. 

“You needn’t run,” Xiao begins, screwing his eyes shut as he prepares to pour his heart out to his own hand, feeling like a fool. “I’m suspecting that was your attempt at courting me. And I— I feel the same,”

“I’ve felt the same for a— a long, long time. Please, come back. If not now, since I know the journey is a bothersome and lengthy one, and I’m going to assume that by now you’re halfway home, I hope to see you again next week— As always,” Xiao’s mouth is suddenly like a broken dam, words he’d never thought he’d speak aloud rushing from his tongue and disappearing into the tiny whirlwind in his palm. “I want— I want to see you again. So, please, Barbatos. Don’t doubt what you know in your heart is true— That mine beats for yours how I’m assuming yours does for mine, or else you wouldn’t have, uhm— Made a move, as people would say,”

“Excuse me, I—” Xiao catches himself rambling and fumbles over his words in an attempt to not seem so nervous, distraught, off-guard, all these negative, humiliating emotions coursing through him that he feels he has to spare a look over his shoulder, though he’d be completely aware if someone was listening in. “If you can forgive me and please consider meeting with me again, I’ll— I’ll be waiting for you. The same day, same time as today. I—”

Xiao’s tongue feels as if it gets stuck in his throat, with the way he can’t manage to get the words out. The words that he wants to say, feels they’re the key piece to convincing Venti he feels the same way, but inevitably— He knows he wants to confess them face to face, heart to heart.

He shakes his head, at his own thoughts, at the sudden situation, at himself. Blowing a breath like he would to dispel the seeds of a dandelion, he sends the message through the skies, towards Venti’s own ear. 

He can now only hope that Venti will hear the wind in a similar fashion to how Xiao heard his soothing song all those centuries ago.