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Out in the world

Chapter 3: Reforge my heart

Summary:

Why can't he move on? Over two years have passed, yet he still can't get over his death.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Sounds of hammer striking metal rang out in the night. The moon was already high in the sky, yet sounds of work - from loud clanging of metal on metal to subtle, almost soundless sharpening of weapons - never ceased. Not from one workshop in the Silvergrove.

Some have been irritated by it. They asked him to stop - more so they can enjoy total silence than because they worried about him. He dismissed them all - he no longer cared about if what he was doing was bad for him, or if others thought it was too loud. He no longer cared. He lost the reason to enjoy his life a long time ago.

More than two years ago. 

When the only two people he cared about disappeared. Forever.

Ethari took a blade out of hardening oil. He noticed the heat had made a little curve at the end of the blade. He will have to straighten it. Good. There was never enough work.

For the past two years, he was trying to move on, but he simply couldn't. He was a moonshadow elf. Self-sacrifice was a part of his culture, from the first years of his life, he remembered many ceremonies held for the dead. He often saw others lose family members, lovers, and every time they would mourn them and then move on. Why was he different? Every day the pain was worse. Ethari tried to bury himself in work, get his mind off them. At first, he worked twelve hours a day, but it soon proved to not be enough. Now he spends sixteen hours daily in his workshop, only ever taking a break to sleep, or rather lie in bed, eyes open, not being able to stop thinking about who he once shared the bed with, no matter how exhausted he was.

It was always the same. He forced himself to rest, his aching muscles barely able to lift tools anymore. He would try to sleep until finally he would get up and go for a walk to the lotus pool.

It... relaxed him. Her flower was still there. It brought him peace of mind knowing that at least one person he loved was still alive, no matter how distant she felt. After minutes of staring at the flower, he would finally get back to his house, lay in his bed, and sleep for a few hours. Then he would get up, eat a 'breakfast' if it could be even called such, and go to work. Every day repeating the same pattern. For the past two years.

Sometimes he would finish up everything and have nothing else to do. He cleaned the same armors and sharpened the same swords many times over. Fortunately, this morning an emissary came to Silvergrove. A Sunfire elf on his Inferno-Tiger, bearing a message from the dragon queen herself!

All of Xadia was under threat again, this time not by human kingdoms, but yet unknown attackers. No one knew anything specific, all the messenger said was to mobilize the Silvergrove for war, just in case.

Ethari didn't care about the reason. All he cared about was going into a work frenzy once again. This year five youths reached adulthood that volunteered to be a warrior. The old guard also wanted new weapons. If there was a war coming, you had to have a replacement blade or bow in case the old one broke during one of the many battles. One of the village elders has also approached him, wanting hundreds of arrows to be made since their supply would only last for a few days of constant battling.

Ethari was pleased. Crafting new gear was harder than repairing the old one, or making jewelry like he did when there was absolutely no more work to do. If he worked harder, his muscles ached more, and if they ached more, his heart would seem to ache less.

He finished another set of wargear. This one would go to one of the youths. 

He looked out the window. It was midnight. No matter how much he wanted to work more, he had to go to bed, just for these few hours of sleep he would get, until his muscles stopped aching and his thoughts returned to... them.

This night he changed his usual routine. Instead of going to bed, he immediately went to the lotus pool. He didn't know why, he just did.

Her flower was so beautiful. It seemed to dance on water, while the pool reflected moonlight. He felt mesmerized by it. 

He stared at it for a few minutes, when something else caught his attention.

Something moved in the water.
The sheet of water was pierced. Now, where once there was only one flower, another one joined it. The passage of time left it covered in algae, but he immediately recognized it. How could he not? He crafted it himself.

It was Runaan's flower.

His heart beat faster, while his mind tried to understand what happened before his eyes.

Was it a dream? Did he fall asleep on his workbench? No, it was impossible.

He pinched himself. He wasn't dreaming. Has he gone mad? Maybe this was his mind pulling tricks on him.

Ethari lifted his hand, and slowly touched the flower.

The algae came off. It was real and now it shined like new. But how was this possible? The only way for a flower to be afloat was...

if Runaan was alive.

New energy flowed through his body. He forgot about all day of work, his gaze fixed upon the flower.

He saw one of the elders in the distance - Cassius. Most of Silvergrove was currently asleep, but the elder must have wanted to go for a walk in the moonlight.

Ethari got up and rushed to the elder's side. Cassius was surprised to see someone bother him in the night, especially Ethari that anyone rarely saw outside of his workshop.

"Oh, blacksmith, what can I do for you?"

Ethari barely managed to stand straight - "My elder," - although Silvergrove was proud to announce that they were a community led by their people, where everyone could influence the course Silvergrove went, this was only partially true. Elders were respected by all in their culture, and ultimately they had the last word on every decision. - "Please, follow me, I have seen something."

Cassius was taken aback but followed him to the lotus pool. He then looked at the flowers, now understanding what made Ethari so... energetic.

"See, it is HIS flower. My elder, Runaan is alive-", he was cut short by the wave of Cassius's hand.

"Oh, Ethari. I understand that you and Runaan were family, but you need to come to terms with the fact that he is dead. He gave his life the Moonshadow way. You must stop mourning and accept it."

Ethari was shocked by his words. Was he blind? - "B-but Cassius, you see the flower. It is floating. That means he must be alive!"

"He died over two years ago. He is gone. I don't know what is the reason the flower floats, but it is just impossible. Maybe it is a magic glitch, an error of sorts. I have seen many unexplained things in my life that happened without a reason. We don't fully understand magic. The flower was under water for two years, it might be... flawed. Nature leaves mark on everything."

Ethari couldn't believe his words - "This is MY craftsmanship!" He yelled - "There is no error, no flaw. He must be alive."

The elder didn't mind his outburst.- "I am sorry. Return to your home. This flower will only push you further into your grief."

Tears now streamed from Ethari's face. - "Fine. If you don't want to help me, then I will find him by myself." - He turned on his heel, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

"Ethari, I understand your grief, but there is no time." He let out a sigh - "You are our only blacksmith. You can't leave Silvergrove, not in this time of peril. War approaches and we are short on weapons. If Runaan was here he would want you to stay. Putting personal agenda aside for the community's sake, it is our way of life."

"Don't you dare speak his name!" Ethari burst out again. - "I have been crafting weapons for Silvergrove all my life, you never lacked them! I am going!"

"To leave us during the war is an act of treason!" The elder spoke - "Remember that actions have consequences."

Ethari froze in place - "And what are you gonna do? Ghost me? Go ahead, make your only blacksmith an exile. You have already exiled her, I don't have any debts to Silvergrove."

The elder understood there was nothing more to say - he lost. He proceeded to go away from the pool to enjoy his walk once again.

Meanwhile, Ethari was already back at his house. He grabbed his bow, some arrows, and a dagger. After a thought, he took one more thing. He opened a huge, decorated chest that was locked for the past two years. Inside there was a bow. It was a perfect backup copy of the weapon Runaan wielded - a bow that could separate into twin swords.

After packing some more food and clothes for the journey, he called his shadowpaw. It could easily carry his weight and all of the supplies.

The last part was perhaps the hardest. He went to his workshop and grabbed a small box. It was nothing much - if you opened it, it turned out to be a broken compass that doesn't point anywhere.

He went to the lotus pool. It took all his willpower to take Runaan's flower in his hands. What he did pained him, destroying the only thing that he remembered Runaan by, but it was necessary.

Ethari ripped out the crystal in the middle of the flower. Now it was just a piece of junk. When the elder returned to the pool the next day, he will not find Runaan's flower and only reassure himself that he was right - it was just a magic glitch.

He opened the compass - It was never actually broken, just not completed. He build it years ago and forgot about it. Now he inserted Runaan's crystal into the middle of the box. It shone with light and came to life. Its pointer danced wildly for a moment, until it was fixed on one position.

It will guide him to Runaan.

When Ethari ordered his Shadowpaw forward, he was so excited, that he didn't notice that Rayla's flower was slightly submerged in water.

Notes:

This chapter was just laying around on my computer for a while now (I actually wrote it before "Silence before the Storm"). I don't know why I haven't uploaded it for so long. I guess it was because I was unsure if it really fits moonshadow elves. Finally I decided that Ethari is the kind of person who wouldn't just 'move on'.

Have a nice day!