Chapter Text
~* Jolinar *~
I leave our home briefly to visit old friends at other bases. It's…awkward. They don't know how to act around me, and some are almost cold.
Maybe our mates should have come with us, Sam thinks.
I am glad that they didn't. It would just hurt them. I sigh. This is the price I must pay for what I have done.
If I have forgiven you, they have no business holding a grudge.
Thank you. That makes me smile.
On the way out, we see Atara. She looks so much healthier that I almost didn't recognize her. She is drawing on paper, and I feel a symbiote within her.
"Jolinar?" She looks to me.
"How are you feeling?"
"Drawing helps." She tilts her head. "People talk about you, and it confuses me."
"I panicked."
She laughs. "Trust me. I know what it means to do something…unfavorable to survive."
I smile.
"It just feels like…what I did was much worse, but it is acceptable."
"You killed people to save your life, but the fact is, they were sentenced to die by their masters before they met you. The only way any of them could have survived is by doing the same as you, killing for entertainment. That is not the same as my crimes. If not for me, Sam would not have been hurt in first place."
"And if no one fought, if we all refused, the games would have stopped. No entertainment…no reason to play. Some of the slaves wanted to refuse, but most of us…"
"Life is never that simple. They would have forced the issue."
"Perhaps." She glances to her papers. "I'm drawing my victims." She pushes a drawing forward. "Remembering them is the least I could do."
"You are skilled," I say as I look at the picture. "I remember her. You having to kill her wasn't even the worst thing done to her." I don't even know her name.
"She was an early victim…before I had to make a show out of their deaths." She picks up another picture and offers it to me. "Khelsea."
"You used color." I smile.
"I thought Pete might like a better drawing."
"I think he would. Thank you."
She smiles. "How is he?"
"The last I saw him… Not well."
"Oh."
"But that was about a month ago. Sam contacted a few of his old friends. They say he's doing better. He's focused more on healing himself, less on acting like he's fine." I lift the picture. "I'll be sure to get this to him."
"Thank you."
~ ~ ~.
Sam traces her hand over a scar that will probably never heal.
"Does it make me handsome?" Martouf asks with a smile.
"Very sexy." Sam kisses the scar.
He wiggles.
Sam unties his pants.
"I wonder what you are in the mood for," Malek teases as he approaches.
Our skin tingles as he kisses the back of her neck. With one arm gently around us, he uses the other to stroke Martouf.
"Oh, I was going to…" Sam trails off Martouf reaches into our clothes.
I wiggle as Malek's kisses turn to love bites right over me. Shivers run through my body and Sam's.
"Such joyful squeals," Martouf whispers as he and Malek slowly undress us.
I take control and kiss Martouf hard, grabbing his sides. When I grab a wrist, he yanks it away.
"Sorry," I mutter, seeing that he isn't in the mood for that particular move.
"Beautiful," he admires as Malek removes our shirt, already having moved on.
I work on undressing him quickly, and the sound of clothes shuffling tells me that Malek is doing the same for himself. Soon, Sam and I are between our very naked husbands, and I trace over more scars.
Martouf relaxes for a few seconds, admiring the view and enjoying the attention. We know that he doesn't just accept his scars now, but likes having them acknowledged, perhaps even needs it.
They used to bother me, I admit. Not because of his appearance, but because I can only imagine what dreadful things were done to him that Lantash can't heal the scars away.
Even if Lantash could heal them, that wouldn't change what was done to them, Sam reminds gently.
Yes. I lean down and kiss down a particular vivid scar across his chest. As I do, Malek's wonderful fingers prepare us with oil.
"Samantha." Martouf moans softly as his fingers also work magic.
I retreat, and Sam soon eases herself on to him.
Malek grabs our hips, and he makes one thrust, deep and hard.
She jerks as shivers spike through us.
Their hands are powerful on us, and I feel a shift in Malek's touch, which tells me that it is now Amb.
Sam grunts softly as our husbands move slowly, and we feel Amb reach around us, further stimulating us. Sam presses her back against him.
"I love you," he whispers into her ear before nibbling it.
Tingles run through her scalp. I work to intensify the joys, and her breath becomes halting as she spasms.
"Fuck," she mutters.
"That we are," Martouf replies, which makes her laugh.
Lantash takes over, and he begins moving faster.
Soon my host and husbands are very loud. Waves of shivers move through us. Their hands grip tightly.
Sam cries out again as her toes curl. I make sure this one is even stronger and longer. When she opens her eyes, she sees Lantash's expression of pure bliss. His eyes glow, and she grabs over him, and we feel him squirm. Behind us, Amb moans loudly as he stills.
We collapse in a pile as echos of joy still run through. Sam retreats to allow me this moment, and we enjoy the feel of our husbands. Lantash under us, his skin still hot. His hand is gently caressing our hip. Amb's weight is over us, comforting in a way, completely relaxed on us.
After a moment, I move to give our husbands better access to each other, smiling as they kiss.
Oh… We are far from done.
~ ~ ~.
Slowly, I watch my husbands recover, but none of them are the same. I can't help but wonder if I have changed as well.
We still live in the small outpost, and while no one says anything, I know it was made just for us.
Aldwin remains our primary healer, so is the chief healer for everyone on this outpost. His husbands, Shorvek and Lon, have moved in as well, taking the job of chief of security.
"Congratulations," Lantash says, knowing that it's a promotion for both of them.
"Thank you," Shorvek replies.
"We used to…be friends, weren't we?"
Shorvek's expression lights up. "You remember now?"
"Yes. A little." Lantash blushes slightly.
"You have been my role model for years."
I watch my husband smile to that.
Most of the Tok'ra who live there are scientists, and like Sam, they are content to work for hours, preferring not to be interrupted. The more Sam works with them, the more comfortable they are with me. My friends are becoming my friends again.
I miss them. I missed this.
~*2012*~
~* Jolinar *~
My beloved host knocks on the door.
Pete smiles as he answers. "Come in."
"How have you been?" Sam asks as she, Amb, and Lantash walk in.
His living room is the same as the last we saw it. The drawings of Khelsea have been enlarged and hang on the wall.
"Still in therapy, but…finally getting back on track with my life. Five year anniversary of our escape." He chuckles. "Damn. Doesn't feel like it, does it? Some days, I would swear it was only yesterday. Other times, it feels like it was a whole different lifetime, that it wasn't even me."
"It never feels like it's what it is," Sam agrees.
"Sometimes I wake up, and I'm convinced I'm there again," Pete admits. "Still…after years."
"Us too," Amb replies.
Pete nods, and I see relief in him, knowing that it's not just him.
Our husbands sit down.
"Do you want anything to drink? I have beer."
"Sure," Sam replies.
He has it ready, offering Sam her favorite. For our husbands, he has something that has an apple on it.
"How is work?" Sam asks as she sits.
"Great." He opens a beer for himself. "I meandered for bit. Desk job at the police station, but it wasn't working out. Well, you know." He smiles briefly. "Your friend, Martin Lloyd, got me a job as a script consultant." He grins. "There's a job I never thought I would have, but it's working out."
"What is a script consultant?" Martouf asks, now in control. I suspect he liked the apple beer better than Lantash did.
"I work with the people making television…or movies, telling them how police conduct business, how to hold a gun… That sort of thing." He glances down. "Still looking for love, the right woman."
Sam feels uncomfortable.
"But I might have found her. Someone from the SGC, so I can actually talk to her about my imprisonment. That's… It helps. Someone to talk to on a regular basis that isn't a doctor, and this time, I promise…" He quickly gestures his hands across each other. "No stalking."
Sam smiles.
"Does she know your history of stalking?" Amb asks.
"I told her everything, and we are taking it slow." He pauses, then nods. "How are you doing?"
Amb shrugs.
"Usually well. Not always, but…usually." Martouf frowns slightly. "Writing helps, but… I still need Lantash at times."
I am surprised he told Pete. Sam takes Martouf's hand.
I am glad he did. That he is willing to admit it to Pete shows that he is not as ashamed as he once was. There is no shame in having blackouts.
Sam and I are pleased that Pete knows not to push for more information. He truly has improved.
"Sam? How is work?" Pete asks. "I'm sure you probably have at least a dozen projects."
"Always." She smiles. "Jolinar and I have a lot of work, offices at the Tok'ra base and Stargate Command. Recently grew a third to work with Malek."
Pete laughs.
"Malek has his own projects too, but we like working together."
Malek takes over just to smile in pride.
"So back to work for you?" Pete asks Malek. "I mean, aside from spying on the bad guys."
"No. Before I was a base commander, working on my way to joining the high council." He gives a sad smile. "That…" He pauses. "Amb is no longer capable of leading."
"Oh." Pete frowns.
"A minor setback in my career."
Not so minor, but by now, Malek has probably convinced himself that it is minor.
We continue talking, giving small updates on our lives. Pete clearly enjoys the company.
We also play some games and eat some snacks. After, we say our goodbyes.
"Next year?" Pete asks.
Sam smiles. "Yeah. Sooner if we can."
"Thanks. These meetings help." He hugs us.
Sam returns the hug, then steps back.
Martouf and Malek choose to shake his hand instead, which is usual. Amb will sometimes hug him if he's in the right mood, but clearly not this time.
We head back home.
~ ~ ~.
Sam and I have a lot of projects, so the next day, she immediately starts working.
Malek joins us later, working quietly on another part of the project. The thoughtful expression on his face tells us that he's conversing with Amb, and Sam smiles when Malek seems to randomly chuckle.
Martouf is in the room with us, but… Martouf. Oh, my Martouf. He's still not ready for work. I don't know if he ever will be. He used to take such pride in his job too. He helps a little when he can, but even now, too many things set him off. He is only in the room to be near us.
"Is that a good book?" Sam asks.
"I haven't decided." He turns a page.
We work for a while longer before I suggest we take a break. An hour later, she agrees.
Malek is already taking a break, laying down with his head in Martouf's lap. Our husbands are smiling at each other as Martouf strokes Malek's hair.
Sam takes a moment to admire them.
Our mates. Look how beautiful they are.
They are. Sam approaches them.
I wish Malek and Amb could have joined the marriage while Rosha still lived.
Sam strokes over me. I wish I had gotten to know her, at least meet her. She smiles. But at least I got to meet you. Really meet you.
I am glad I got to meet you as well and thankful that you have given me a chance.
It's been years. You can stop thanking me.
I will never stop being grateful to you, to all my hosts.
Sam smiles, then walks over to the crystal bench, but stumbles when Malek pulls her closer, sitting her on top of him. She laughs.
His eyes flash in delight. "Sex?"
"And you once teased Martouf for being blunt."
"That was Amb. Besides…I'm hungry."
"Later." She doesn't want to lose focus on her work.
He sits up, still holding us close. "Cuddle?"
"Cuddle."
Martouf grabs Malek, and pulls him close again, and Sam smiles as Malek drags her along with him. Soon, Malek is in Martouf's lap while Sam is on both of them.
"Comfy?" Sam asks.
"Mmm." Martouf closes his eyes as he embraces all of us. "My mates."
Sam gives them both a quick kiss, then relaxes. She feels Malek adjust slightly under us before he relaxes as well.
They are warm. Martouf still smells like strawberries from the bath he took earlier. Amb smells like the earth from having taken a walk on the surface. The soft sound of their breathing is soothing.
I suppose…work can wait, Sam thinks, which pleases me.
"I love you." Malek is so relaxed that his voice is barely above a whisper.
For the moment, the past is not weighing on any of us. We are relaxed as our mates hold each other, hold us, and as we hold them.
~The End~