Work Text:
The sun is shining brightly on a Wednesday afternoon. It’s early spring, the empty trees are beginning to bloom with colorful flowers, and rain comes in random spurts, flooding the streets of Boston that remain busy and casual.
The world continues to move, spinning on its axis, letting the minutes pass with alarming speed, and a promised sunrise and sunset every day.
But for a group of friends, that isn’t the case.
Five years ago they gathered in the same church, listened as Eddie spoke a profound eulogy, smiled as Sophie sang a beautiful song, and gathered in community even though they had no idea how they ended up there. They celebrated the life of their friend Jon. They celebrated a life they would learn to realize they didn’t know a whole lot about.
Jon’s death changed each of them.
It transformed the ways they lived from that moment onward. It changed the way they talk to each other, the length they hold on to each other, and especially the way they say goodbye. Saying goodbye didn’t get easier though, if anything it became even more excruciating and painful.
Five years ago the group lost a member and gained another; however, today that trade wasn’t made. They lost one, and all they gained is the void of his life.
The void of the life of Gary Mendez.
Gary was the one who held them together after Jon died. He kept each one of them from slipping away into death, into loss, into grief. Gary’s life saved Maggie’s, inspired Rome to keep living, helped Eddie through extremely hard times, motivated Danny to be himself, protected Sophie even when she didn’t want it, watched out for Delilah and her kids, pushed Katherine to explore her truths with Greta, kept Theo from losing pieces of his childhood, led Regina towards new horizons, but most importantly, Gary’s life reminded them of the impact one person can have on the world.
If Gary hadn't lived, none of them would be where they are right now.
They wouldn’t be holding each other in the back of a church, watching as distant relatives and acquaintances pass without a second thought. Those people will go on living as if nothing has changed, but for the group of friends standing there, they’ll never be the same.
Rome and Eddie won’t be able to stomach another Bruins game, sitting next to two empty seats. Delilah won’t constantly hear cunning jokes that lift her out of dark places. Gina won’t have a person to confide in when things get hard. Katherine can no longer rely on Gary’s unceasing support for her and Theo. Danny and Sophie will no longer have their pseudo-father who has done more to be there for them than anyone else in the last five years.
But the loss of Gary won’t hit them near as hard as it will for Maggie.
The person who convinced her to live, saved her life, and then gave her a full one won’t be there to share it with her. He won’t be there to sing the incorrect lyrics of “I’m Still Standing”, to feed Colin bacon at midnight, to hold her close to his chest when she needs it. Gary won’t be there to watch their daughter grow up. He won’t be there to walk her to kindergarten and tease Maggie when she cries about their baby growing up. He won’t be able to coach her first soccer, or basketball, or even hockey team. He won’t be there when she graduates.
He won’t be there when she needs a dad–one who jokes, one who dances, one who plays dress-up, one who teaches, one who tucks in, one who shows up.
The rest of the group will pick up the pieces the best they can, but they all know it won’t ever be the same.
Eddie is the first to speak up, addressing Maggie as she holds her little girl close to her chest. “Are you okay?”
He knows her answer.
Maggie shakes her head, as Rome and Gina wrap their arms around her.
They all sat in the front row with her and Riley. They’re as much Gary’s family as his own daughter is.
“Greta and I will take care of everything here,” Katherine says as she rubs Maggie’s back gently, “you should go back to Rome and Gina’s and get something to eat.” Katherine can barely stomach the look on Maggie’s face. She once feared what Maggie is going through right now, only she never had to face it.
“Thank you,” Maggie whispers as Katherine, Theo, and Greta start making their way to the aisles to gather loose decorations and framed photos.
Delilah tells Sophie to take Charlie and pull the car around towards the front so they can take Maggie and Riley to the apartment.
They’re all numb.
Numb from the true pain of losing Gary. Numb from the grief they know they’ll battle each day for the rest of their lives. Numb from the missing moments they’ll never experience.
There will never be another Gary Mendez, and when that truly settles in, it’ll be nearly impossible to live with.
When Sophie pulls the car around the front, Rome takes Riley in his arms and buckles her into the carseat in the back while Maggie sits in the front seat. Charlie smiles and giggles at her little cousin, bringing smiles to their faces–something desperately needed.
Rome, Gina, Danny, and Eddie promise to be right behind them as Delilah joins Greta and Katherine in clearing out the church of the things they brought.
Delilah picks up a photo of Rome, Gary, Eddie, and Jon at a Bruins game. It reminds her of all the times those three other men were there for her when she needed them the most. Rome danced with Sophie at her father daughter dance, Eddie stuck around even when complications muddied the waters, but Gary was the one who was there most. He dropped everything when she had to go to France, being there for Sophie and Danny when they needed someone. He held her in his arms when he told her that Jon died.
Delilah can barely stomach the loss of Gary, and it only makes it worse knowing that everyone else feels the same way.
On the car ride to Rome and Regina’s, Sophie does her very best to keep the mood light. She knows it's dark, but for the sake of the two little ones in the back seat, she owes it to Maggie to save her speech for later.
“You can call me whenever you need a babysitter,” Sophie says as she quickly glances over at Maggie who has one of her hands reaching back towards Riley’s car seat, grasping her baby’s little foot. “Danny can’t handle diaper duty, just ask my mom.”
Maggie offers her a half-hearted smile. She appreciates it more than Sophie knows. “Thanks, Soph, but my mom and dad are gonna stay in Boston for a little while. They’re both retired now and have plenty of time to be here.”
Maggie loves that her parents want to be here, but she can’t help thinking about how it might complicate things even more. She knows that when they do go back to Chicago, she’ll be left to face all of this alone, and for them to stay just drags out that pain even further.
“My offer still stands though,” Sophie replies as she turns into the parking area behind Rome and Gina’s building. “Even if it’s just to walk Colin around the block.”
The other woman thinks of the dog. Colin loved Gary. He was saved by Gary Mendez too. And he’s another someone who will miss him.
“Will Colin be at Uncle Rome and Aunt Gina’s?” Charlie asks from the backseat.
Maggie nods at the little girl, “Yeah he will. And he will probably need some Charlie snuggles.”
Charlie loves Colin. She loves animals, especially dogs. Gary used to take her to the park every other weekend so she could walk Colin. It was his way of being there for Delilah’s youngest.
Sophie parks the car and helps her little sister unbuckle from her own car seat as Maggie picks up Riley and they wake their way towards the entrance of the building. Danny notices Maggie and Riley and he holds the door for them, bopping the nose of the little baby.
“Gina is already plating the food,” the younger boy says as his two sisters join them in the hallway.
Making food is Gina’s way of coping with it all so they know good and well they’ll be ending tonight with stomachs full.
Maggie also knows that Gina will probably have a meal for her every day for the next year.
They all crowd in the elevator together.
“It’s crazy all this began in an elevator,” Danny says as he pushes the button for Gina and Rome’s floor. They’ve all heard the story of how Eddie, Rome, Jon, and Gary met. And it has somehow led to where they are right now.
Sophie smiles a bittersweet smile, picking up Charlie and holding her in her arms. “We wouldn’t be here right now if that elevator hadn't broken down. It really is wild to think about.”
Maggie looks down at Riley, “None of this would be as it is right now if Gary hadn’t brought me to your Dad’s funeral five years ago.” She remembers how insane she thought Gary was for taking her to a funeral that day, but now she can’t imagine what she would be doing if he hadn’t introduced her to his boisterous group of friends.
However, if she’s being honest, she wouldn’t even be standing here right now if it weren’t for Gary. She wouldn’t be here and Riley wouldn’t be here.
Maggie tucks a blanket around her daughter as they walk into Rome and Gina’s apartment. The smell of hot food fills the air. It takes out some of the silence as Rome takes her coat and drops the diaper bag near the doorway. Charlie immediately scrambles out of Sophie’s arms and makes her way over to Colin who is sitting near her dad on the couch.
They are all worried about Eddie’s sobriety again. However, what they don’t know is that the pain Eddie feels isn’t the pain that makes him want to drink or use. It’s the pain that makes him want to burn down the whole world. He’s angry, upset, and destroyed, but after Jon’s death, he knows that no amount of alcohol or drugs could ever numb that pain. So he leans on Theo, Charlie, and the rest of the group.
He’s determined to live better because of Gary.
They all are.
Maggie lets Rome take Riley in his arms so she can sleep against his chest while they eat. Katherine, Greta, Theo, and Delilah catch up with them about twenty minutes later and they all sit down to eat together.
Over the years they’ve shared so many meals together, most of them in loud conversation. Only this time the silence is what makes it loud. None of them really have the words to say right now.
They eat their food while somehow managing to hold back tearful gazes and possibly gutting speeches. Eddie’s eulogy earlier in the day was tear-jerking enough. Maggie is pretty sure she cried out all the tears inside her whole body.
“Thanks for all of this,” Maggie says, being the first to break the deafening silence. She cannot begin to fully express her gratitude for each and every member of their friend group. “It means the world to me and Riley to have you all in our lives. I know it was the same for Gary too.”
Rome leans over and squeezes her shoulder, “to our beloved friend, Gary.” Rome holds up his beer and watches as the rest of the group follows. “To his nasty Bruins hat, his poorly timed humor, and his loyalty.”
Maggie tears up again. Thinking about the best, and even the worst parts of Gary, make her miss him even more. She knows grief is a rollercoaster, but she doesn’t think she’ll ever be ready to be a passenger on that coaster again.
They spend the night drowning their feelings in conversation. Regina shared stories about some of the peculiar things she’s experienced since running her own catering company, including catering a fifty year old man’s birthday party that had a Sesame Street theme. Sophie talked about some of the new songs she’s been writing, and her brother mentioned a couple of the colleges he’s beginning to think about going to.Maggie passes Riley around to each member of the group, letting her daughter be doted on by all of them.
They’re family to each other. Family struggles together, family relies on each other, family comforts each other, and family triumphs together.
Family also grieves together, and they’re going to have to lean on each other now more than ever.
Rome pulls Maggie into the kitchen, holding his friend close. “Now before the night ends, there’s one last thing I have to show you.”
He’s been planning this since before Gary passed, as a final tribute to his best friend.
“What?” Maggie says, watching as Rome gathers the rest of the group over by the couches, and clears a space for Maggie in the middle. “What are you doing?”
Rome smiles, handing Maggie the baby and turning on the television. “Remember when I gave Gary that camera? The one that he used to film nearly every part of your pregnancy with Riley?”
Maggie nods her head. She has vivid memories of Gary shoving that camera in her face, from the moment they started IVF to the minute she was in labor, yelling at him to drop the camera and hold her hand.
But Maggie also remembers how she made Gary film little videos giving advice to their unborn baby. She would make him record a video for every major life moment she could think of—or at least the ones she got to.
“Well a couple weeks ago when Eddie and I were at chemo with Gary, he handed me a flash drive of video footage neither of us had seen. It was something he made just in case.” Rome does his best not to get emotional as he pulls up the compilation video he made. “I compiled a bunch of footage, and I think there is something in here for everyone.”
Rome takes his seat on the couch next to his wife as selects the video file and sees the face of his best friend on the big screen.
Gary’s face lights up the dark room, and his voice pierces through the undeniable tension. “Ha. I can imagine this right now, all of you guys are sitting together, probably in the same room where Eddie and Katherine smashed all of us at game night. Don’t think I forgot about that.”
Katherine and Eddie share a laugh, reminiscing on the fun events they used to share together.
“And if I’m right, that means one of you has inherited my very lengthy collection of 90s comic books. We all know Maggie doesn’t want any of them.” Gary takes a moment and looks into the camera, “so I guess this means I won’t be around to tease Eddie about sleeping with members of our friend group anymore, just so long as he doesn’t sleep with Maggie. If he does, I will haunt him until the day he dies.”
Maggie leans her head back, dying of laughter. “Don’t.”
Eddie cringes, turning his attention back to the video. “And for my son, Dan Dixon, the same goes for Milo. If he pulls another stunt with some other douchebag boy, I will also haunt him.”
Gary sighs, “but aside from all my jokes, there are a few things I need to say. The first one is to say thank you.” Maggie leans her head down on Delilah’s shoulder. “Thank you for always showing up for me, for rescuing Colin when he ran into the garbage room and we searched for a whole day to find him, for throwing Maggie the most incredible baby shower and buying us so many unnecessary items she made me exchange.”
The room goes silent as a tear falls down Gary’s face, “thank you for the greatest years of my life. It sucks pretty bad that I won’t be there to traumatize anymore of you.”
Maggie looks down at Riley whose eyes are wide open peering up at her dad.
“Promise me you’ll show up for each other.” Gary says as he points towards the camera, “and for my Bloom and little Mendez too.”
Rome pauses the video and glances over at Maggie, “the next part is for you.”
“Bloom, I know you’re probably crying right now, which is really unfortunate because last I checked you don’t own waterproof mascara. Maybe you did buy some. I don’t know. But I do know you. And I’m really grateful for that. I’m grateful for all the moments we shared. I’m grateful for the times you threw up all over me, not just from chemo, but from your raging morning sickness that made both of our lives hell for months. I'm grateful for how you always understood me. You saw the best parts in me and chose to focus on those parts even when there were bad things lying beneath the surface. But what I’m trying to say is that I’m more thankful for the life that you gave me than for the life I gave you. I saved your life, but you really convinced me to live. You gave me our Riley Lucia, and that’s everything.”
Maggie is practically in a puddle of tears as he listens to the love of her life say the things he’s always wanted to say for her.
“Since I brought up my little girl, I hope she’ll one day be able to listen to this and watch all those other videos. But I also hope she realizes the family she has. Rome and Eddie, please to the dear gods show up for her on those daddy daughter days. If you don’t, again I will come back to haunt you. Danny, please don’t babysit Riley until she’s at least in pull-ups. Let Sophie handle the diapers. And for the rest of you, promise not to let Maggie do this alone. She may think she can handle all of this, and I’m sure she can, but I don’t want her to.”
He says one final thing before the video goes black, “Jon always said that friendship is a million little things, and I don’t want a single one of those things to end because of me. Don’t let them.”
They all lean in. Tears fall down their faces, even the kids and maybe Colin too. Maggie holds Riley close to her chest as they all share a hug. They hold each other as tight as they can, solidifying their promise to never ever let anyone hurt alone.
Gary was right about it all. Friendship is a million little things. But so is family.