Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Rem stood in front of Subaru, holding the chain that killed him. 

“If you do not resist, I can make your death painless,” Rem said.

“Why are you doing this? That’s a cliche, but do you mind my asking?” Subaru asked.

The viewers waited in anticipation for Rem to reveal her motives. 

“If someone seems suspicious, punish them. This is the rule of maids,” Rem said.

“That’s her reason?!” Felix said. “Seriously?”

“Tch… what bull,” Garfiel said, clenching his fist. 

"I kind of wondered at the time if that was true to some extent in this world," Subaru said.

"Not exactly," Wilhelm said. "While maids at times may be tasked with defending the lord's property, that hardly extends to executing suspicious guests."

“Maybe she’s working for Roswaal,” Garfiel said, snapping. “That would make him responsible, wouldn’t it?”

“Perhaps. Even so, choosing to carry out such despicable orders is her own choice,” Julius said.

“Does Ram know?”

“I intend to finish this before my sister sees anything.” 

Julius closed his eyes. “So Ram is innocent.”

“I knew it!” Garfiel said. “Ram’s not a bad person!” 

Subaru internally winced at that. Better do some damage control, otherwise they’ll all be in for a bad surprise. “Well, even if she did end up helping Rem, would it really be so-” 

“Subaru, if the next words out of your mouth are asking if it would really be so bad, I’m going to have a stroke,” Felix said, massaging circles into his forehead. 

Subaru closed his mouth. 

“The phrasing of Rem’s words make it sound as though she’s acting alone,” Julius observed. “So maybe Roswaal is not involved after all.” 

“Is that how little you trusted me?” Subaru asked.

“Yes,” Rem said. 

Subaru’s face twisted with grief. “Damn, I’m pathetic… I was so sure we were getting along well.” 

“Don’t blame yourself for not being able to tell,” Reinhard interrupted. “None of us were able to determine she was the killer before she struck, either.” 

Subaru nodded in agreement. In fact, Rem and Ram hadn’t been faking their feelings in past loops, especially in early loops where his witch scent was less noticeable, and as a result it was difficult to tell. Because he knew this now, he managed to feel a little less betrayed by Rem’s actions -- after all, he was certain they were heat-of-the-moment, rather than calculated.  

Subaru sighed to himself. Watching this would have been easier before the second trial, when I didn’t see these past lives as ‘myself.’ Now it’s honestly a little painful… 

“My sister-” Rem said.

“I don’t wanna hear it!” Subaru pulled out his phone. “Take this!” 

Subaru activated the flash option, blinding Rem. 

Subaru roughly tossed Rem aside and started running. 

“Yes, cap’n!” Garfiel shouted. “Go go go!” 

Julius gave a tiny sigh as the tension of the scene released. He’d thought Subaru was about to have his head blown off right then and there when Rem approached him. 

Unfortunately, Subaru’s victory was short-lived. 

Subaru ran at full speed away from the situation. Before he could escape, a blast of wind magic attacked Subaru, severing his leg from his body. Subaru screamed in pain. 

Garfiel resisted a flinch as he listened to the pained screams of his cap’n. He clenched his fists, further vitriol towards Rem building in his body. 

Julius let out a quick exhale. She said she would do it painlessly… and Subaru is still so loyal to you. Just finish him, Julius willed. 

Felix bit his lip. The longer this went on, the guiltier he felt for thinking Subaru was weak and pathetic when he first showed up at Karsten manor. His opinion had clearly been hasty. After all, any person who could act even somewhat sane after undergoing such suffering couldn’t be properly called weak. Felix was ashamed to admit that he hadn’t taken Wilhelm’s statement about Subaru’s eyes reflecting death very seriously at the time.

As Subaru screamed, Rem crouched down next to him. 

“Mana of water, heal this damaged body,” Rem said.  

Subaru made choked noises, looking back at her in confusion. 

“If you die so easily, I cannot get any information from you.” 

“No,” Reinhard said, almost unconsciously. He had never felt significant pain himself, due to his abilities, but Subaru’s screaming was terrible to hear. He didn’t want Subaru to suffer. “Why…?”

“How cruel,” Julius commented. Her actions were truly barbaric. He didn’t understand how Subaru could tolerate being around such a person, even if they were in eternal sleep. 

And worse, Rem was powerful -- to have an affinity for both wind and water magic, Rem would be a formidable foe indeed. She’d used wind magic to cut off his leg earlier, so ostensibly she was at least competent with it. How many loops would it take him to tame her? 

To use healing magic to do something like that… Felix thought, lip curling in disgust. The worst of the worst. 

Rem picked up the knife.

“If you had stabbed me with this, you could have fled a bit farther,” Rem said.

“He didn’t because he’s not your enemy, you dingbat!” Garfiel shouted. “How stupid can you get!?” 

“Ignoring such obvious facts… clear negligence, nya,” Felix said. 

“He shoulda stabbed her,” Garfiel muttered. “Self-defense.” 

Subaru stayed silent at the hatred towards Rem. He would rather they get their feelings out now by yelling at screen-Rem than hold on to them in their hearts. It would be easier for them to forgive her later, that way. 

Rem threw the knife over her shoulder into the woods.

“I ask you this… are you a member of a faction that supports Emilia-sama’s rival for the throne?” 

“Crusch-sama would never treat a political opponent like this,” Felix hissed. 

“Neither would Anastasia-sama approve of such brutality,” Julius agreed. 

“Emilia wouldn’t either,” Subaru said, pursing his lips. “Unfortunately…” 

“Unfortunately Rem ain’t listening to her,” Garfiel said. 

“My heart belongs to Emilia-tan forever--” 

Rem whipped Subaru with her morningstar as Subaru let out a pained scream.

Wilhelm felt a fire being lit under his heart. 

Vengeance… he was familiar with it. He’d gotten it for many things. Petty squabbles, his father-in-law, his wife. And right now, he wanted nothing more than to bury his sword into everything and anything that was causing Subaru pain, regardless of any promises that had been made to Subaru. 

How could any story of Rem’s possibly justify this? Reinhard wondered. I just don’t understand… 

Subaru remained curled up in his seat, trying not to think too hard about the sequence of events unfolding. Rem didn’t mean it. She didn’t mean it, really. Once the show progressed enough, all of his friends would see Rem’s reasons for doing this, and no one would need to question Rem’s loyalties again. 

“Who hired you, and under what conditions?”

“Emilia-tan’s smile, and it was priceless--” 

Rem hit him again, blood spattering across her face. 

Only Subaru would answer like that, Julius thought. Words like that could only be either mockery or an expression of total sincerity, and Rem is too far gone to see that Subaru speaks only the truth. 

How the hell does Ram have a sister like this? Garfiel said. I mean, I haven’t seen their dynamic, but if Rem can act this violently and sadistically towards strangers, then shouldn’t Ram have been aware something like this might happen? 

The whole situation gave Garfiel a bad feeling. Something was off. 

“Are you affiliated with the witch’s cult?” Rem asked. 

As Rem said this, her eyes were filled with sick glee.

“The witch’s… cult?” Felix echoed. 

“I suppose it’s not an illogical question,” Wilhelm said. “The witch’s cult is clearly known to target the Emilia question. But that look in her eyes…” 

“Complete hatred,” Julius agreed. “That question is no coincidence.” 

Garfiel suddenly realized something. It’s just like Ryuzu Shima said -- Subaru smells like the witch. She couldn’t be attacking him because of that, could she? 

“The witch’s cult?” Subaru weakly lifted his head. “I don’t know what that is…”

Julius winced in pity. Subaru was so clearly confused and in pain, but Rem would never notice that part of his response to the question, because not knowing of the witch’s cult would be an unbelievable claim. 

Felix already knew the loop was a wash, but he felt his heart sink. “Well, that’s it…” 

“My family has been secular for generations--”

“Don’t play dumb!” Rem shouted. “Your bald-faced lies can only take you so far, when the witch’s smell lies thickly upon you!” 

“The what?” Julius asked, eyes narrowing. 

“The witch’s scent,” Garfiel said. “I’ve heard about it.” 

The room turned to him, now curious.  

“Ryuzu Shima from Sanctuary told me that people who are related to the witch cult or a witch will smell like miasma,” Garfiel said. “And, she also told me that Subaru totally stinks of it.” 

“What?” Felix said, stunned. 

“Subaru, is that true?” Wilhelm asked. 

Subaru slowly nodded. 

“It made me think that Subaru was an enemy at first,” Garfiel admitted, before his face hardened. “But even I wouldn’ta gone this far!” 

“Related to the witch cult or a witch?” Reinahard asked. “But Subaru doesn’t fit that description whatsoever. He doesn’t even know what the witch cult is.” 

“Doesn’t fit that description… that we know of,” Felix said. 

“Felix,” Julius chastised. “We can see what Subaru is thinking in the show. There is no room here for subterfuge.” 

“Not like that, I mean unbeknownst to Subaru as well,” Felix said. “Maybe he was cursed without his knowledge.” 

Close, but not exactly, Subaru thought. 

“Perhaps,” Julius said. “Though I hope any curse would be mild, if Subaru is still afflicted with it.” 

“Regardless, such a thing would explain why Rem so quickly attacked him,” Wilhelm said. Even if it made Rem’s actions more understandable, it didn’t make the girl any less dangerous. 

“When I watched you conversing with my sister, I felt I would go mad with anger and unrest. Someone associated with the one who has caused my sister so much agony, boldly encroaching on the place in which she and I belong…”

“Someone who caused her agony?” Julius questioned. 

“It seems likely Ram was a victim of the witch cult, from her words,” Reinhard said. “Perhaps she was attacked and wounded.” 

“That doesn’t make this acceptable!” Garfiel said. “Tch…” 

“We weren’t saying it does,” Reinhard said appeasingly. 

Garfiel felt his stomach twist at the slight hypocrisy he was displaying. He, too, had felt strong suspicion towards Subaru upon learning he smelled like the witch. In fact, as a result, their confrontation had ended in a fight. 

Garfiel shook his head. 

This was different. A fight was different from one-sided torture. He was nothing like her. 

“I cannot bear it any longer. Even if I know my sister only acts friendly with, and pretends to care for, you!” 

Subaru looked shattered at the idea. 

“I am sure Rem is lying,” Reinhard soothed. Subaru nodded. 

She’s not exactly lying, but that’s what she wants to believe, Subaru thought. 

I suppose she’s being protective of her sister, Julius thought. He could begrudgingly understand Rem’s perspective -- when it came to reasons for attacking someone, suspecting them to be a witch cultist wasn’t the worst excuse. Yet, Julius still found it unnatural that Subaru could defend this woman with such zeal after experiencing such pain at her hands. Not to mention, mild suspicion didn’t justify such brutality by any means. 

Subaru laid back on the grass, lifting up a shaking hand. 

“I don’t cut my hands when I peel vegetables anymore. I can read and write now, even if it’s just the simple stuff. I kept my word and studied. I was able to read those fairy tales.” Tears began to run down Subaru’s face. “Thanks to you two…” 

“Damn,” Garfiel muttered. 

Julius shook his head. It was clear these small favors had meant so much to Subaru, and now the maid was, throwing all that goodwill away. 

Subaru couldn’t help but feel vaguely embarrassed by the somewhat pathetic emotional breakdown, but no one verbally judged him, so he stayed silent. 

“What are you talking about?” Rem asked.

“I’m talking about the things you guys gave me,” Subaru said. 

“I have no memory of any of that,” Rem said.  

“Is… is she hesitating?” Felix asked. 

“I doubt it,” Garfiel huffed. “She’s probably just dragging out Subaru’s pain.”

Rem’s face looked disturbed, and she didn’t attack right away. It was hard to tell if it was simple disgust at a crazed cultist that painted her face or something else. 

Wilhelm thought it looked like she was maybe second-guessing, but he had reason to doubt his own judgment. After all, Subaru’s severed leg meant that he was doomed to die in this timeline. And who would kill him if not for Rem?

“Why don’t you remember?!” Subaru screamed. “Why do you all keep leaving me behind? What did I do to you? What am I supposed to do? What did I do wrong? Why do you guys hate me so much?” 

“Rem hardly deserves such loyalty,” Felix muttered. 

“Don’t worry, we all agree on that…” Garfiel said in response. 

Subaru choked on a sob. “Even when you said you’d cut my hair… all that time…”

“I…” Rem started.

“I really like both of y-” Subaru’s statement was cut off by a blade of wind magic, which sliced open his throat. 

“So she finally killed him,” Felix growled. 

“No,” Julius said. “The wind came from the woods. Rem didn’t cast it.” 

Garfiel’s heart sank at the words. Wind magic-- it could be, it might be Roswaal--

“My sister is too kind.” 

“Ram,” Garfiel said. “Ram-- Ram wouldn’t do that!” 

“What affinity for magic does Ram have?” Julius asked. 

Garfiel faltered. “Wind, but-”

Wilhelm cut off Garfiel in a growl. “It seems the answer is clear.” 

“But Ram isn’t a bad person!” Garfiel said. “And, she and Subaru are still good friends!” 

Felix scoffed. “That doesn’t mean anything when Subaru still crawls after Rem like… like a begging dog!”

“Felix!” Julius snapped. “Those are unacceptable words. Apologize immediately.” 

Felix stayed silent for a moment, a dour look on his face.

“Now,” Julius demanded. 

“Alright, alright!” Felix said. “I’m sorry. This is just hard to watch, you know?”

“I know, but you shouldn’t take it out on Subaru,” Julius said. 

“I knyow…” Felix murmured. “I’m sorry.” 

“Thanks for the apology,” Subaru said quietly. The judgment made him feel uneasy. Considering that making up with Rem was something he considered a success, how would everyone look upon his most disgusting failures?  

“This interaction is surely difficult,” Wilhelm offered. “Ultimately, it’s Subaru’s prerogative to handle that however he pleases.” 

Wilhelm still saw Rem as a danger to be eliminated, but he wouldn’t have Subaru critiqued for how he survived through unexplainable suffering, and he didn’t miss how Subaru was looking increasingly uncomfortable. 

“Thanks, Wilhelm-san,” Subaru agreed. “Anyway! All of you should get on with your theorizing.”

“Alright,” Reinhard said, allowing Subaru’s deflection. “Given we can be certain that Rem didn’t cast the wind magic… there are three options for the perpetrator.” Reinhard held up three fingers. “Ram, the maid. Roswaal, the lord. A third party, yet-unknown.” 

“Maybe it was Roswaal,” Garfiel said, a bit hopeful. 

“But that line that Rem said… ‘my sister is too kind’,” Julius said. “Do you truly believe that Rem is incapable of distinguishing her sister’s magic from her master’s?” 

Garfiel hesitated. 

“We should continue our observations,” Reinhard said. “Soon enough the culprit will become clear.” 

“Now Subaru’s dealing with three enemies…” Felix murmured. He felt a stab of guilt for what he’d said earlier, but in a way, he stood by it. He hated seeing someone with such a low opinion of themselves that they’d justify their own murder. 

Subaru’s eyes slowly opened, scanning the room. 

“Sir, have you awakened? Sir, you’re awake?” 

Subaru saw Rem and Ram in front of him, and gave a blood-curdling scream in response. 

Another bad impression… I doubt he’ll ever get a good one. Not with how terrified he must be after every death… Reinhard thought sympathetically. 

Everyone was worried for Subaru’s mental state after his torture and betrayal. In each other death, he’d clearly been badly shaken afterwards, and this one seemed to be the worst out of the lot so far. There were a lot of discreet glances sent Subaru’s way, but Subaru kept a poker face, looking forward at the screen. It was impossible to stop their worrying, especially with how screen-him was going to act in a few moments, so there was no point in empty reassurances. 

Subaru was still in bed long afterwards.

“Subaru, Ram and Rem were really worried,” Emilia said. “They were unusually despondent, wondering if they’d been impolite…” 

“No shit they have been,” Garfiel muttered. Ram… I can’t believe that I ever trusted you. If this was Roswaal who killed him, I’ll give you a lot of apologies for thinking you were responsible… but if you killed cap’n just for the sake of your reckless sister-! Garfiel clenched his fist. 

He hadn’t thought that Ram’s dedication to Roswaal--or perhaps Rem, in this case--would extend to killing an innocent. One of the reasons he liked Ram was for her beauty, of course, and he found her strength and caustic attitude to be super attractive -- but he’d also appreciated her strong commitment to her principles. Principles which now seemed to disappear as soon as Rem’s safety or Roswaal’s orders got involved. 

He considered his sister Frederica to be similarly ‘brainwashed’ as the two twins -- thinking Roswaal was good for them when he was awful -- but he knew for certain that she would never pull anything like this. 

“Nothing happened between them and me,” Subaru said, voice flat.

“Grr!” Garfiel snarled. “They should be punished for what happened!” 

“And yet how would Subaru convince anyone that they deserve it,” Julius said. 

“Catch them in the act! Have them arrested!” Garfiel said. 

“Risky,” Julius said. “Rem is impulsive. If he provokes her intentionally, who knows if she’ll attack in the same place? Not to mention, he can’t be sure of who in this mansion he could trust. Roswaal could very well cover up the incident.” 

“He can trust Emilia!” Garfiel said. 

“Look, don’t filet me for saying this…” Felix said. “But would Emilia really be able to handle a sting operation against her maids? She clearly trusts them, and I don’t know if subtlety is her strong suit.” 

“Puck would be able to confirm Subaru’s intentions, at least,” Julius said.

“But how am I going to explain to her why I’m terrified of Rem and Ram?” Subaru asked, rubbing his eyes. “Even if I said ‘trust me, stand behind this bush’ and then provoked Rem into attacking me, she’d ask afterwards as to why I thought Rem would attack me.” 

“And then Rem would explain your witch’s scent,” Wilhelm said. “And the fact that you knew she’d be provoked would indicate you knew about it, which would be suspicious.” 

“At which point, Rem could easily accuse you of being a witch cultist intentionally trying to make her look bad,” Julius said.  

“Subaru, are you alright? If something’s wrong, you’re welcome to talk to me,” Emilia said. 

If I could tell Emilia that it’s no use, that I can’t take it anymore… Subaru thought. 

“That’s it,” Subaru said.

All this time, I’ve been struggling to change things alone, but… 

“Subaru, are you sure you’re alright?” Emilia asked. 

Felix’s ears perked up. Finally! Asking for help! The sign of a healthy mindset! Then, Felix remembered the previous statements about the taboo, and his ears flopped back down. He’s not going to be able to say anything anyway…

Reinhard looked over at Subaru, who was frowning pensively at the screen. 

I’m honestly surprised it took this long for Subaru to ask for help… especially given in the last loop he didn’t believe at all that he was at risk from the Mansion’s residents, Reinhard thought.  Perhaps that’s somewhat worrying. 

“There’s something I want you to know,” Subaru said seriously. 

“Okay,” Emilia agreed.

“Emilia, several times now, I’ve di-” 

The world froze. 

Shadows began creeping in, filling the room.

“This is the taboo?” Felix asked, feeling sudden unease. 

“What’s going on with the shadow magic?” Julius said. “That shouldn’t be how a taboo like this should present. It’s not like anything I’ve seen before.” 

“Certainly not,” Wilhelm said. “Not to mention Subaru lacks any markings on his body for what would be necessary for a contract of such magnitude, from what we saw in the baths. I doubt this is a traditional taboo. It must be something unique.” 

A dark purple hand came from the shadows, reaching toward Subaru.

“The hand from the intro!” Felix said. 

“Shadow magic… and these purple hands…” Julius frowned deeply. “They resemble the Unseen Hands of Sloth, but there’s something distinctly different about them from what I saw with Nect.”

“I believe you’re all missing something,” Reinhard said. “A taboo that Subaru didn’t ask for, in combination with the scent of the Witch? The answer seems obvious.”

“That’s not possible!” Garfiel said suddenly. “She’s sealed away! Has been for ages, so she couldn’t have done something like this!”

“The Witch of Envy is a great practitioner of yin, which could explain some of the odd things occurring around Subaru,” Julius said cautiously. “However, I believe it is far too soon to suggest something like her involvement. We haven’t seen any change from the Pleiades Watchtower.” If the Witch was free… that would be a disaster of the greatest magnitude, Julius thought, suppressing a shiver. 

“If that’s the case, then why did Subaru say, ‘you’ll know what she’ll do’ when the being who brought us here asked to show us his memories? Subaru knows who is responsible for the taboo, and she is female,” Reinhard said. 

Reinhard’s sharp! Subaru thought, surprised he’d managed to put it together with so few clues. 

“Perhaps it could be the work of a female Sin Archbishop we haven’t met yet,” Wilhelm offered. “That would also explain the miasma.” 

“Maybe,” Reinhard granted, dipping his head. 

“Let’s see more,” Felix decided. “Maybe whoever it is will show themselves with time.”

Woah… wait, Subaru thought. This is seriously no joke-!

The shadowed hand slowly approached Subaru’s chest, before reaching in and grasping his heart. “Ak-!” 

Subaru doubled over, gasping for air. 

“Subaru?” Emilia asked. “Subaru! What happened, all of a sudden?”

“It squeezes your heart?!” Julius said. “That’s… terrifying.” 

“Does it hurt?” Garfiel asked. 

“Oh yeah, for sure,” Subaru said. 

“I think maybe Subaru is being haunted by an eldritch evil,” Felix granted. “If it doesn’t turn out to be Witch Cult related, remind me to start researching fairies and wicked spirits when we get back.” 

“I will as well,” Julius agreed. 

“Can Felix check over Subaru for heart problems?” Garfiel asked, concerned.

“I already looked him over after the Whale fight, nya,” Felix said. “And I didn’t see any damage to his heart then.” 

“Still, if he’s broken the taboo many times since then…” Julius said. “Maybe it would be best to check him after the episode completes.” 

“It’s probably fine,” Subaru said. I doubt Satella would damage me permanently… that doesn’t seem to be her goal. 

Subaru reached up and placed a hand over his heart.

My body moves. My voice works. My heart doesn’t hurt. But… Subaru trembled and wrapped his arms around himself. The fear is engraved in me…  

A slight chill ran down Felix’s spine. 

As much as he didn’t like it when anyone disregarded their life, Subaru included, Felix couldn’t deny that Subaru’s life was a living hell. Subaru suffered and died repeatedly, he couldn’t even talk about it, and in this situation he didn’t even know what was going on. It was the reason Felix was backing off on that topic, even if it wasn’t resolved. Some situations deserved a little grace. 

“Did you try writing it out?” Reinhard asked. 

“I didn’t dare,” Subaru said. “And I doubt that’d work, anyway. From what I know about it now.” 

So writing it down wouldn’t work, Julius thought. But Subaru’s been able to mumble hints around others when he’s not thinking about it. Is it based on his intention, perhaps? 

“What’s wrong?” Emilia asked. “You’ve been acting really strange. Subaru, if something’s going on--” 

“I have a favor to ask,” Subaru said.

“Okay,” Emilia quickly agreed.

“Have nothing to do with me,” Subaru said. 

Subaru laid back down in bed.

“Oh no,” Garfiel bemoaned. “Come on!” 

“Could this still be the winning loop?” Julius wondered aloud. “Subaru certainly is isolating himself from Emilia… but he has most of the information now. There should be no reason for him to die.” 

“Despite knowing that Rem is a danger, he isn’t yet aware of the Mabeast’s curse,” Reinhard reminded him. 

“Yeah, but is Subaru really going to be hanging around the village given what’s going on?” Felix asked. 

I can’t imagine it’s likely he goes to get groceries with Rem at this point, even given the eventual result of their relationship, Julius thought. 

“It’s possible that if he leaves, that the Mabeast will bite him on his way out,” Wilhelm said. “I still feel concerned he could run afoul of it.” 

The scene changed. Roswaal could be seen talking to Subaru, but his words were inaudible.  

I can’t tell anyone about Return by Death. I’ve died in this Mansion three times. In the Capital, I didn’t experience a fourth time. If I die again, I might not come back. 

“That’s quite a cowardly look on your face, I suppose,” Beatrice said. 

“Why are you here?”

“That brat and Bubby told me to check up on you,” Beatrice said. 

At least there are a few people we can trust in this Mansion, Garfiel thought, a bit grumpy. Beatrice, Puck, and Emilia…

“Whether or not this concerning behavior remains remembered is all up to whether or not Subaru survives this loop,” Wilhelm said. “But in some ways that would be a benefit. Even if no one can be told directly about Return by Death, perhaps someone could deduce it from a pattern of behavior.” 

“I’m not sure how realistic that is,” Julius said. “I doubt I could deduce that someone is time-traveling by dying just by seeing them display symptoms of trauma.” 

“The idea of time travel itself is something I would have thought impossible, if not for the situation we’re present in now,” Reinhard agreed softly. “Perhaps Miss Beatrice would be able to do something similar to it? Isn’t she a Great Spirit of Yin?”

Julius shook his head. “Beatrice-sama, despite her power, probably would find such a spell impossible. If provided evidence I might be able to believe her to be capable of stopping time for brief moments, but even that’s a stretch…” 

“I don’t think she can do that. Beako tends to have better dominion over space than time,” Subaru said. “You know, with her being able to hide the Forbidden Library.” 

Satella… how powerful must she be to actually influence time like that? And how powerful must Reid, Volcanica and the Sage been to stop her? 

“Puck and Emilia?” Subaru questioned.

“Since you were acting strangely, they suspected I did something to you when you first woke up, I suppose,” Beatrice said. “Talk about rude!” 

“I get it. I’m okay now,” Subaru said. “You came to apologize. That’s enough.” 

“Why should I apologize to you, I suppose!” Beatrice said. “I can’t leave until I correct that notion.” 

More like you can’t leave until you make sure I’m okay, Subaru thought wryly, mouth quirking up in a smile. Beatrice was sweet like that. 

“I suppose Beatrice doesn’t appreciate that her childish prank was blamed for Subaru’s condition,” Julius said. Great Spirits can be rather prideful, though rightfully so. I’m glad that Beatrice is just that and not malicious. 

Beatrice sniffed, then looked repulsed.

“Not only do you look gloomy, but the smell is much heavier now, too,” she said.

“Huh?”

“The smell of the witch. I feel it’s bending my nose, I suppose,” Beatrice said.

“More confirmation that Subaru smells like the witch,” Julius said. 

“An’ she said it was stronger, too,” Garfiel said. “What coulda made it stronger?”

“Well, if Reinhard’s theory was correct…” Felix said. “Then it would be breaking the taboo, right? Because doing that summons… whatever that was.” 

“It certainly points to the likelihood of Subaru’s power being Witch Cult related,” Julius agreed.

Whenever Subaru would use his Mabeast-attracting power, he would grimace and grasp at his chest, Wilhelm thought to himself, realizing something. I thought it was simply that using the ability was somewhat strenuous… but is he activating the taboo?

It seemed to make sense. After all, it was true that Mabeasts were attracted by miasma, which is why there were so many dangerous varieties around the Pleiades Watchtower. 

“Why do you smell her on me?” Subaru asked. 

Beatrice shrugged. “Who knows? Regardless, as someone who receives special treatment from her, you’re a burden.” 

“‘Special treatment’ is ominous as hell,” Garfiel commented. 

“It’s not too comforting to hear that I’m getting special treatment from someone who’s name and face I don’t even know,” Subaru said. 

“Agreed,” Subaru said, gesturing to the screen. 

Something is off here, Julius thought. Is it really a coincidence that Subaru meets and becomes infatuated with a silver-haired half-elf just a day after arriving here, when he’s apparently also beloved by the Witch of Envy? It seemed… suspicious. 

This, and the episode title… ‘Return of the Witch’... 

Julius was finding it difficult to believe that Emilia wasn’t somehow affiliated with the Witch, even if she was entirely unaware of it.  

Julius didn’t dare voice these thoughts, however, lest he inspire the wrath of everyone else in the room. After all, it was these types of thoughts that probably led Rem to killing Subaru, so Julius doubted anyone would be excited to hear out his theories right now -- and Subaru himself would definitely not appreciate the presumed implication that the Witch and his master were affiliated somehow. He would have to watch carefully, and keep a tight leash on his thoughts. 

Beatrice began to leave, but Subaru stopped her. 

“Wait… you feel sorry for what you did to me, right?” Subaru asked.

“I do not.” 

“I’m telling Puck!” Subaru threatened.

“Well, I might feel a tiny bit sorry, I suppose.” 

“If you regret what you did and want my forgiveness, do me one favor that I ask,” Subaru said. “On the fifth morning, the day after tomorrow… would you keep me safe until then?” 

“That maid would never be able to stand up to the power of a great spirit,” Felix said, now beginning to smile. 

“If she agrees,” Wilhelm said. 

“I don’t want you to bring dissension into this Mansion, I suppose,” Beatrice said. “This place is vitally important to me.” 

“I have no intention of doing anything,” Subaru said. “I just want to stop any sparks from flying.” 

“What an admirable motive for one who leaves even that in the hands of others,” Beatrice said, and Subaru looked discouraged at her response. 

Beatrice sighed and walked forward. “Hold out your hand,” she said. 

“It worked,” Julius said, astonished. 

“I’m not surprised that Subaru was able to befriend Beatrice,” Reinhard said, sounding a bit proud.  

“Cap’n and Beatrice are destined friends!” Garfiel cheered. 

The Subaru on screen doesn’t even know it, but he’d be a lot worse off if not for his spirit affinity, Julius thought, thinking of Subaru’s friendly relationships with Puck and Beatrice. Though, Beatrice’s own personality and Subaru’s persistence and openness definitely helped. 

When he didn’t move, she grasped it herself. “I shall grant your wish.” 

“I, Beatrice, on my honor, are henceforth bound by this contract. Temporary or not, a contract is a contract. I’ll grant your nonsense favor,” she said.  

Subaru’s eyes glistened with tears. “Seriously?” 

He put his face in his hand. “I’m gonna cry because of a little girl…” 

“This was an intelligent way of solving the problem,” Wilhelm said. 

“Of the people who would be strong enough to protect Subaru, one of them is Roswaal-” Reinhard started. 

“Who is untrustworthy,” Felix said. 

“-the next is Puck-” 

“Wait, why didn’t Subaru ask Puck?” Garfiel asked. 

“Well, for one, Puck can’t come out past 5pm, when Rem most often chooses to attack,” Subaru interjected. “Not to mention, he wouldn’t like to stay away from Emilia for long periods of time, and I’d definitely already weirded him out during this loop.”

“Oh, true,” Garfiel said. 

“-and the last is Beatrice,” Reinhard finished. 

“The optimal solution,” Felix agreed. “Let’s see how it plays out.” 

“Don’t call me a little girl!” Beatrice said. “And if you tell Bubby, you’ll regret it, I suppose! Hmph!” Beatrice made a pouting face.

“Beako’s pout is so adorable!” Subaru couldn’t help but say. 

Soon after they made their deal, night fell on the Manor. 

“Wait, what night is it?” Garfiel asked. 

“I believe Subaru said that ‘the day after tomorrow’ would be the fifth day,” Wilhelm said. “So I believe that means… it’s the third day now.” 

“I actually think it might have… ‘time-skipped’-” Reinhard said, imitating the foreign word Subaru said. “-to the fourth day when we transitioned to nighttime.” 

“But wait, did you seriously not leave that room for three days?” Garfiel asked Subaru. 

“Well, I did leave it a little bit,” Subaru said. “I went to the bathroom -- and I know I ate things at some point. But I honestly can’t really remember that much.” 

“No wonder they were worried about you,” Julius muttered.

“Yeah, they were kinda right to be concerned…” Subaru said. Thankfully that ‘fugue state’ of sorts wore off. Can’t imagine how hard it would have been to deal with loops if I kept in that state. 

Subaru could be seen sleeping in his bed during the night. 

Subaru’s face was tense. He sweated, tossing and turning slightly as images of his previous murders flashed through his head. 

It’d be weirder if he didn’t have horrific nightmares, Felix thought. He gave Subaru a surreptitious look. 

“Oh, it’s--” Subaru cut himself off.

“It’s what?” Julius asked.

Subaru shook his head. “You’ll see later.” 

In his dream, Subaru could be seen stumbling around a dark forest, breathing heavily. Rem, smeared in blood and with a dead look on her face, appeared in front of Subaru. 

Rem swung her morningstar at Subaru, who flinched away. 

“Do you often have nightmares about Rem?” Reinhard gently prodded. 

“Not anymore,” Subaru said. After Rem proclaimed  I was her hero… these dreams about her stopped. 

“Really?” Julius asked skeptically.

“Well, it’s not like I don’t have plenty of other things to have nightmares about,” Subaru argued. After the Capital, I even had a few nightmares about your beating, Julius. Though, mostly they were about Emilia being disappointed, or Puck freezing me… and then after Sanctuary, it was all Rabbits. 

Subaru shivered at the reminder. He was going to have to set something up before the Rabbits happened in this viewing. Watching himself get eaten by them might literally drive him insane if he wasn’t careful. 

In real life, two hands  intertwined with Subaru’s, making the nightmare disappear. Subaru’s face relaxed. 

“Who’s hands are that?” Felix wondered aloud. 

Subaru broke into a grin. “You’ll just have to find out!” 

Subaru’s face is fond, Julius noted. Could it be Beatrice, maybe? Or Emilia? Those two seem like they’re the most sympathetic to him, so far. 

Subaru woke up abruptly to being kicked in the face by Beatrice.

“You can’t keep sleeping forever, I suppose. I came against my will because it’s the designated time, yet you seem awfully unconcerned.” 

“Falling asleep on the fourth day, what kind of reckless idiot am I?” Subaru wondered. 

“You’re in Miss Beatrice’s library,” Julius said, suddenly feeling relieved. “It’s removed from space. Rem shouldn’t be able to touch you there, and since you never went grocery shopping in the village, you shouldn’t be killed by the curse.” 

“I know Subaru hasn’t become a butler in this loop yet, but I have some hope that this will be the one that succeeds,” Reinhard admitted.

“Not to be a downer,” Garfiel said hesitantly. “But what’s stoppin’ Rem from just killin’ him after the fourth day is done?”

“It’s possible that Rem has noticed Subaru’s declining mental health and will deem him not a threat, and that Subaru will at some point request to be a butler,” Wilhelm granted. “But I am not yet convinced this is the final loop.” 

Right on the money, Wilhelm-san, Subaru thought. But all the same… I’m so grateful Beatrice protected me like this. 

After seeing Beatrice’s destroyed reaction to his death in this loop from the Second Trial, Subaru honestly felt terribly guilty about how this loop had ended. He’d truly shattered her heart. 

Beatrice explained to Subaru that she’d brought him to the forbidden archive. 

“Beatrice, I’m sure I’m wrong,” Subaru said. “But you didn’t hold my hand while I was asleep, did you?”

“You’re wrong, indeed,” Beatrice said. “Even if Bubby asked me to, I would refuse, I suppose.” 

“Haha! That’s ironic, coming from her. Miss Beatrice loves holding Cap’n’s hand now,” Garfiel said. “She always pretends she’s doin’ it for cap’n’s benefit, though.” 

“My cute Beatrice is a tsundere that way,” Subaru said. 

“And that’s one suspect off the list for the rogue hand-holder,” Felix said. “Somehow, that’s even more mysterious than the murder…”  

Subaru tried to ask Beatrice more questions, only to get a book thrown at him. Subaru agreed to be quiet and started reading instead. Time passed peacefully as Subaru idled in the forbidden library with Beatrice.

Beatrice suddenly looked up. “Calling.” 

“Huh?”

“I’ve been summoned, I suppose,” Beatrice said. 

“Oh no,” Garfiel said. 

“Perhaps Lady Emilia or Lord Roswaal have simply grown concerned as to where their guest has disappeared to,” Reinhard suggested. 

“Maybe!” Garfiel said, snapping his fingers. “Especially since they seemed to think it was Miss Beatrice’s fault that Subaru wasn’t feeling good before.” 

“It is interesting to see that Beatrice can be summoned, however,” Julius said. “Who knows how to do it?”

“I think only Roswaal,” Subaru said. “I knew how to find her door, but I never figured out how to summon her. That would have been useful, actually.” Though, she probably wouldn’t have responded to the summons in the time when the Mansion was burning down, so I would have had to find her myself regardless. 

“H-Hey hold on! If you go out there right now…” 

“I don’t care if you want to stay here. You’ll be safe here, I suppose,” Beatrice said.

A strange magic filled the space as Beatrice exited the door, settling down soon after she left. 

Subaru walked over to the door, but hesitated before leaving. 

“Perhaps in this situation it would be better to stay, Subaru-dono,” Wilhelm said.

“Maybe,” Subaru admitted. “But I had to see what was going on! It’s hard to wait in a situation like that…” 

Even if he knew that he was almost certainly safe, it would probably feel like waiting for something bad to happen, Reinhard thought, frowning. By exiting, he could at least understand what was happening and attempt to take action. I just hope it doesn’t backfire. 

Subaru opened the door slowly. He cringed, but the only thing there was a bright sunrise. Subaru looked at it with wonder in his eyes.

“Did I… make it through the fourth night? And I thought it was so far away.” 

Subaru walked a few steps forward, then collapsed to his knees. 

“... Congratulations, Subaru,” Julius said.

“Thanks, man,” Subaru said. The fifth morning… 

Damn, I wish I knew whether he’d live, so I would know whether it’s okay to celebrate, Garfiel thought. I’m glad he’s got this far, but… 

“I’m proud of you for getting this far, Subaru-dono,” Wilhelm said. “But… it just feels…” 

“Too easy?” Julius said. “I fear I feel the same way. Though, it’s not that, precisely, in my case. Forgive me if this is illogical, but…” 

“But what?” Subaru asked.

“But there’s still twelve minutes of the episode left,” Julius said, pointing at the screen. “I mean, I know it could move on to something else, but--” 

Subaru gave a startled laugh. 

“What…?” Julius asked. 

“Now you’re thinking like a real anime fan,” Subaru said. “Alright, let’s keep watching.”

“Subaru?” Emilia appeared in the hallway, not far away.

“Emilia?” Subaru asked. 

“Subaru, where have you been? No, never mind. Come with me.” Emilia grabbed Subaru’s arm and started to pull him along the hallway, her attitude grave and serious. 

“What’s she acting so serious about?” Felix said, keying in on the change in behavior. “Do you think that it’s because of whatever Beatrice got summoned for?”

“Please don’t tell me there’s another thing that happens on the fifth morning,” Garfiel pleaded. 

“Huh, where are we going? Emilia-tan? Why are you making that face? Everything will be fine now. Right?”

Emilia stopped abruptly. 

“Emilia-?”

Before Emilia could say anything, a wail of grief sounded from the other room.

Subaru startled. Slowly, he turned and looked into the room, where Ram was sobbing over the bedside of a limp Rem. 

“Rem-?!” Garfiel said. “But-- but how! What happened to her? She’s the one who attacked Subaru, right? So it isn’t like anyone coulda got to her!?”

“She doesn’t look injured,” Wilhelm analyzed. “There’s no blood. She’s simply pale. As if--” 

“As if she died in her sleep,” Reinhard finished. 

“Wait--” Felix said. “The Mabeast bite?”

“Without Subaru to feed on, it must have selected a different target,” Wilhelm said. 

“Still, despite Rem’s actions, I can’t help but pity her sister,” Julius said.

“You shouldn’t,” Wilhelm said sharply. “Ram assisted in Subaru’s murder as well.” 

“Regardless,” Reinhard said, attempting to stop conflict from arising. “This is our confirmation that the loop will not continue. Rem survived to see the battle with Gluttony.”

“But what kills Subaru now?” Felix wondered. “All the threats are past, unless he decides to go to the village again.” 

“I’m more concerned about Roswaal and Ram at this point,” Julius said. “Considering only a limited number of people were present in the Mansion, and Subaru is the newest, that makes him the primary suspect. Not to mention, even if there is clear evidence of his innocence, their anger at Rem’s passing could easily be deflected onto him.” 

“Wait, do you think they killed him ‘cause Rem died?” Garfiel asked. “But it wasn’t his fault!” 

“It’d be better not to jump to conclusions,” Julius said. “Let’s watch.” 

“How… why is Rem dead?” Subaru said, stumbling forward. He reached out towards her, only to have his hand slapped away by Ram. 

“Don’t touch her! Don’t touch Rem… don’t touch my little sister!” Ram shouted. 

Subaru turned his gaze downward and walked away from the bed.

“She died of weakness,” Roswaal said. “It was as if she merely fell asleep. The method was more of a curse than a spell.”

I thought it was Rem who used that curse. So Rem isn’t the Shaman? Subaru thought.

Now, Subaru finally realizes that the Shaman and the attacker are different people, Reinhard thought anxiously, but he still doesn’t know that the Shaman is the harmless-looking puppy from earlier, and I fear how many loops it will take him to figure that out… if he does at all. There are ways to escape this loop that don’t involve figuring that out… but then what kills him in this loop? 

“At least we can say Rem didn’t kill him during the first loop,” Julius murmured.

“Honestly, you guys might think my perspective is biased, but I don’t think she would have attacked at all,” Subaru said. “I mean, I was closer friends with Ram than Rem during that loop, but still.” 

“I agree,” Wilhelm said, though reluctantly. “She wasn’t showing many signs of hostility during that loop. Still… you seemed to be getting along decently in the second loop, and she attacked even sooner in that one.” 

Hm. Maybe once we get to the second trial, Wilhelm can give his opinion on Rem’s explanation there, Subaru thought. He might have some good insights on it. 

“My dear guest, have you any idea what might have occurred?” Roswaal asked. “After this has happened to a dear member of my staff, I seem to be a little bit angry.” 

“Subaru,” Emilia said, grabbing his sleeve. “If you know anything, tell us.” 

Subaru grit his teeth and looked away. 

“He literally can’t!” Garfiel groaned. 

“But making a face like that, it’s really obvious that he knows something,” Felix said. “No way Roswaal just lets him go.” 

“Perhaps Roswaal will kill him this loop,” Julius mused darkly. The Court Mage had a lighthearted persona, but it was clear there was darkness underneath his eccentric attitude, and despite everything, he seemed to have some kind of fondness for his staff. With Subaru’s increasingly strange attitude, even if he could plausibly deny involvement, Roswaal might hold him accountable regardless. 

Good guess, Subaru thought. Honestly, he might have, if not for Beako…

“I don’t know,” Felix said. “Anything could happen at this point, honestly.” 

Wind magic whipped by Subaru’s face, opening up a thin cut. 

“Ow!” Subaru said as a lamp behind him crashed to the ground.

The death by wind magic Subaru had experienced in the past loop flashed through his mind, as he realized that Ram was likely involved. 

“If you know something, spill it all!” Ram demanded. She sent more wind magic flying in Subaru’s direction, but Beatrice blocked it. 

“I keep my promises,” Beatrice said. 

“Of course, Beatrice!” Reinhard said. “A Great Spirit could easily defend Subaru from Ram’s wrath.” 

“But perhaps not from the Court Mage’s wrath,” Wilhelm pointed out. “Especially with a handicap like protecting an outside observer.” 

“Miss Beatrice could easily teleport Subaru away,” Garfiel argued. 

“I hope so,” Wilhelm said. “But regardless, it seems like Subaru’s relationship with those in the Mansion is irrevocably breaking down. If he doesn’t come up with an excuse quickly, he’ll either be killed or driven away.” 

“Beatrice-sama?!” Ram sounded outraged.

“Roswaal, he spent last night in the forbidden library, I suppose. So he surely had nothing to do with--” 

“There is no need to further emphasize the situation at hand,” Roswaal said. “However, to guard him with your life, you must have taken quite a liking to him.” 

Roswaal summoned multi-colored balls of light to his hands, his power shaking the room. However, Beatrice was unfazed.

“Save the jokes for your makeup and weird fetishes, I suppose.” 

A powerful aura emanated from Beatrice as well. 

“A battle between those two!?” Garfiel said. “Geez… even I wouldn’t wanna get in the middle of somethin’ like that…” 

“Yeah, might not be a Mathers Mansion even still standing after that…” Subaru said. He couldn’t help but remember the famed fight between Puck and Roswaal when the two originally met, when Roswaal came with his offer to help Emilia in the Royal Selection. If Puck’s claims were to be believed, the maps in the area had needed to be redrawn after their battle. 

Ram was far too distraught to care about their posturing.

“None of that even matters!” Ram screamed. She turned to Subaru. “I must avenge Rem. If you know anything, tell me. Help me. Help Rem!” 

Subaru remained silent, unable to comply with her request. Ram raised her arm to attack again. But this time, Emilia moved in front of him.

“I’m sorry, Ram. Despite all this, I choose to trust Subaru. Subaru, please. If you can save Ram… if you can save Rem, please do.” 

“This is unfair!” Felix said. “If only Subaru could talk about this, the fact that he was the target in the original target is actually pretty significant information. If he could talk to them, and retrace their steps…” 

“They could probably figured out that the ‘Shaman’ is in the village,” Julius concurred. “But I doubt they would suspect the dog. They’d only know where to start searching.” 

“At least Subaru wouldn’t be under such suspicion,” Felix said.

“Subaru, the next time you’re in such a situation, you should swear you know nothing,” Reinhard said. “Staying quiet like that just put you into trouble.” 

Julius couldn’t abide by lying, but in this situation, he hardly felt as though he could speak against Reinhard’s advice. It was sound, and practical, especially for someone like Subaru, for whom everything was a threat. 

“I know, I was just… shocked,” Subaru said. “And I wanted to help. I felt bad for Ram.” 

 “I’m sorry,” Subaru said. 

As Subaru turned around, all their attacks went off at once, causing an explosion behind him as he sprinted out of the room.

“Subaru-!” Emilia called.

“I’m going to kill you!” Ram screamed. 

Subaru ran faster. 

“Oh geez,” Garfiel said. 

So this is how Subaru dies, Wilhelm thought gravely. Ram or Roswaal must defeat Beatrice, or get in a lucky shot at Subaru. Either that, or Beatrice ceased her protections once Subaru exited the Mansion. 

Subaru sprinted away from the Mansion, out into the wilderness.

This looks like the place that I died, Subaru thought, gasping as he ran past it. “Where I died…” Subaru stopped, slowing his pace. “If I die…” Will I be saved from this whole situation?

“No!” Felix said. “Come on, Subaru, don’t do it! It’s not worth it!” 

“Cap’n…” Garfiel said. 

And so it begins, Julius thought. On one hand… to be hated by a Royal Candidate, suspected for murder by a Court Mage, and barely managing to run away in a robe without any money… that situation is even direr than the one he started in. But still… to think about choosing death first…

Subaru’s best bet would have been to flee West to Karagi, both to look for work in its thriving markets and to avoid Lugnican law enforcement. With a little determination he might have been able to make it work, but without any starting money, it was equally possible that Subaru could have fallen victim to Karagi’s vicious system of debt slavery, or simply ended up homeless and out of work, in a similar situation to slum-dwellers like Felt and Rom. 

Wilhelm was also frowning deeply. No matter whether one would call ending his life in this situation justified or not, committing suicide to get out of trouble was a dangerous habit that he hardly wished Subaru to start here.

“Subaru, you’re not going to do it, right?!” Felix asked. Subaru didn’t answer. Felix broke eye contact and turned back to the screen, looking anxious. 

“Of course… if I die, everything will change.” If I struggled and fought so much, only to end up here, then what’s the point? Subaru looked forward at the way the woods parted. “The cliff…”

He’s actually going to do it, Garfiel thought. He actually is. We all wondered if it was going to be Rem or Ram or Rosawal or the Mabeast who killed him, when in reality…

Garfiel didn’t feel any resentment or anger towards Subaru, unlike Felix who practically seemed to be biting his nails off at the idea of Subaru doing this, but something about seeing his captain being brought this low was horrifying. He’d never seen Subaru act anywhere near this. 

Reinhard felt mostly cold and numb while watching this. How could Subaru say that he didn’t regret the outcome when Reinhard not bringing him home had led to this? Three back-to-back deaths in his first week at the Mansion… and who knows what else after?

Julius simply waited for whether or not Subaru would end up making that choice. There was no point in reacting strongly until they knew whether he’d go through with it -- anything could happen, after all.

Subaru walked up to the cliff, looking over the edge.

If I close my eyes and take one step, it’ll all be over. 

Subaru closed his eyes tightly while trembling.

What will happen to me if I die again? 

Subaru tried to move his body towards the edge, but in the end he stumbled backwards away from the cliff. “It’s just one more step… I can’t even…” 

Felix gave a relieved sigh. “Good… that’s good…” 

Subaru bit his lip, unsure how to feel. At the time, he’d felt ashamed for being too weak to go through with it, but more recently, he’d felt ashamed for trying to kill himself simply out of fear and because he didn’t like the outcome. Ultimately, he was glad of his end choice and reasoning, which was to kill himself to preserve the lives of those important with him, but he didn’t think the others would approve.

Felix noticed Subaru’s dour expression. “Don’t be ashamed of it! It’s a good thing,” Felix said. “Your fear is your body’s way of protecting itself. You should be glad that you can’t manage to go through with it!” 

Julius said nothing. Saying Subaru could still kill himself would be callous to the extreme, but it was true -- and he didn’t want to make premature celebrations. That said, he could hardly contradict Felix’s statements either, which held truth. 

“I cannot judge you for your desire to end your life in this scenario, given your ability to restart,” Wilhelm said carefully. “But please, never lose your fear. Though it may be unpleasant, it is healthy to fear harm.” 

“Don’t worry, Wilhelm-san,” Subaru said. “I’m still scared of getting hurt and dying… so you don’t need to be concerned about that…” 

There was a solemn silence. 

“I can’t even do something so simple…” Tears streamed down his face.
Subaru waited by the cliff until the sky turned from blue to orange, and the sun began to set.

“I finally found you,” Beatrice said.

“Why…” Subaru said.

“What, I suppose?”

“Why did you come for me?”

Julius felt suddenly worried. Subaru was outside the Mansion, and he’d made it to the fourth day. Beatrice was no longer bound by her contract. Spirits took contracts extremely seriously -- it was possible that in truth, Beatrice resented him for what happened to Rem, and previously was simply bound to protect him by her word. 

Garfiel, on the other hand, who knew Beatrice better, seemed relieved at her presence. “Miss Beatrice! She’s sure to help cap’n. Maybe she can make things better?”

“But this timeline will not continue,” Reinhard said. “Something has to give, we simply don’t yet know what…” 

Suicide still seems the most likely option, but I suppose Ram and Roswaal could still catch up to him, or Subaru could die in some sort of accident on his way out of the country, Julius thought. Or, he could face danger from Beatrice…

“The contract I entered into was to protect you,” Beatrice said.

“I thought you were only supposed to be my bodyguard until this morning,” Subaru said.

“You must be mistaken, I suppose. I don’t remember discussing a time limit.”

“Miss Beatrice is helping him after all!” Garfiel said. 

She even made up an excuse to help me when she didn’t have to, just like Emilia, Subaru said, feeling his heart warm. Man… I didn’t appreciate her efforts properly back then. 

Julius felt relieved. He hadn’t enjoyed having to suspect Subaru’s spirit. He knew based on Rem’s attitude that just because Subaru liked someone in the present day didn’t necessarily mean they wouldn’t attack him, so it was a relief to see that his spirit partner was truly good-natured in her heart. 

But with a spirit guard, how does he die? Reinhard wondered. 

“Clinging to hope only serves your own convenience, I suppose,” Beatrice said. “What was lost cannot be reclaimed. You’ll have no more chances to explain yourself to the older sister. You threw that away. No matter which is lost, those sisters won’t ever be complete again, I suppose.” 

“Beatrice can’t know this,” Julius said. “But that was a terrible thing to say to him at the time. She’d unwittingly reviewed the reasons why dying would be the better path forward.” 

“It seems that Beatrice-sama is meaning to give him a reality check, and ground him in the present, but to someone like Subaru, for whom the past is malleable…” Wilhelm said. 

“Like you said, she couldn’t have known,” Subaru said. She wouldn’t have encouraged  something like that on purpose. Even if I am glad she reminded me of what needed to be done.

In a way, it’s sort of like Elsa saying, ‘if only you’d managed to become determined sooner, you could have done something’, Garfiel thought. She didn’t know it at the time, but she was just goading him!

“But I cared about those two, and I wanted to protect them!” Subaru said. 

“Subaru…” Julius started.

“You don’t get to control who I care about!” Subaru said, anticipating an objection.

“She literally killed you,” Felix said.

“So? It’s none of your business! I can like who I like! No matter how stupid you think I am, it’s only my decision that matters in the end, isn’t it?” Subaru said. 

“Subaru, no one thinks you’re stupid,” Reinhard consoled.

“Coulda fooled me, with how everyone’s acting,” Subaru said. “It’s clear that you guys don’t approve of me hanging out with Rem or using my power to help those two-- but shaming me isn’t going to make me like them any less, it’ll only make me angry with you all! And anyway, how would you guys feel about being badgered over a decision that’s done now that you can’t change?” 

Julius resisted a sigh. “...I agree. We’ve talked about this to death, I doubt any new ground is being covered.”

“Especially given that we haven’t seen how this scenario ends yet. There’s a lot we don’t know,” Wilhelm said. 

While Wilhelm knew he was being somewhat hypocritical in that he agreed with what Subaru said and yet harbored somewhat murderous tendencies around Rem, he justified it in his head by noting that he wasn’t judging Subaru’s choices -- only trying to keep him safe in the ongoing future if Rem proved to be seriously dangerous. 

“Sorry about ‘t, cap’n,” Garfiel said, bowing his head.

“Thanks, Garf,” Subaru said. 

“What do you know about them, I suppose? No matter which is lost, they won’t be restored to what they were. They can’t be.” 

“So in the end, I was just making a selfish, disgraceful fuss, not knowing anything?”

Beatrice extended her hand. “At the least, you’ll need to die where I can’t see you, or I’ll have bad dreams, I suppose.” 

“She really said that?” Garfiel said. “The Beatrice I know freak if cap’n said he wanted to die…” 

“She’s trying to encourage him not to, however,” Julius said. “She’s offering him her hand away from the cliff, telling him he should wait before he makes a decision, discussing how seeing such a thing would negatively affect her…” 

“She wasn’t sure how to encourage me directly, but she didn’t want anything bad to happen to me,” Subaru said.

“She has gone out of her way to help you,” Julius said.

Subaru’s self-depreciation is quite noteworthy here, Reinhard thought, though he didn’t remark upon it. It’s hard to believe he’d characterize his efforts to survive and save others as simply making a disgraceful fuss. 

“So I’ll help you escape this domain,” Beatrice said.

Subaru took her hand, standing up slowly. As he did, however, he remembered how his hand had been held during his nightmare. 

“Come to think of it, back then, someone was holding both my hands…” 

Subaru at that point was able to remember it had been Rem and Ram who had held his hands during his nightmare.

“Those two?!” Felix said. “But… how could someone who would do something like torture… who would kill you for being suspicious… how would a person like that ever end up comforting you?”

Felix seemed legitimately baffled, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 

“No person is all good or all bad,” Reinhard said. “Perhaps, in one life, Rem gives in to her suspicion, and in another, she takes pity on a stranger.” 

“...I know Rem never got the chance to be hostile in this life ‘cause Cap’n was with Miss Beatrice, but I don’t think we ever saw her be mean to him in this loop,” Garfiel said. “Maybe seein’ how upset he was, she wouldn’t have attacked him in this loop in the first place.” 

“But-- but she--” Felix frowned. 

“A lot of people who seem cold and indifferent can’t keep acting that way once you’ve built rapport or showed them a vulnerable side,” Subaru said. “I mean, wouldn’t you treat a stranger differently than you’d treat someone who you’d spent some time with? Rem and Ram are the same. And in reality, when they aren’t dealing with people who they think are witch cultists, Rem and Ram truly do have kind hearts.”

“Kind hearts?” Felix said. “I can’t believe this…” 

Ram… Rem… if they couldn’t bear to see me suffer, and held both my hands… if that was the kind of people they are, how can I leave them? 

Subaru remembered how Ram had screamed in anger at Subaru earlier in the loop. I heard a voice filled with hatred, but more than that… Her cries won’t leave my mind. 

This part of Subaru was familiar to Garfiel -- it was Subaru’s iron resolve. And it left no room for imagination in Garfiel’s mind. Subaru would end this loop by jumping off the cliff. 

I’ve always been the type to drift towards whichever path was easiest. Subaru recalled the good times he’d had with Rem and Ram. Hey, Subaru, you’re thinking about something pretty stupid. 

Drift towards whatever path is easiest? Wilhelm thought. That might have been true once… but no. It certainly isn’t true anymore. 

“And after I managed to save this life… that’s right, I saved my life, so…” What’s wrong with letting me take the path that’s easiest, that will let me live longer? I’ll decide how I use my life!

Felix bit his lip. No matter if Rem and Ram had provided Subaru with some measly act of kindness, that doesn’t mean they deserved his death! No, they didn’t deserve this loyalty! 

Beatrice suddenly seemed aware of something. “--You were too slow.”

As she said this, Ram appeared, surrounded by a fierce aura of wind magic. “I finally found you. I won’t let you get away.”

“Stay back, I suppose. As long as my contract exists, I won’t hold back, not even against you,” Beatrice said. 

“And you, Beatrice-sama, seem to forget that we aren’t in the mansion now. We’re in the forest, away from the forbidden library. Are you certain that you can protect him from me?”

“How bold, to imagine she could defeat a Great Spirit,” Julius said. “To discuss a thing not in jest, she must either be very brash, or very strong.” 

“Well, Ram’s pretty tough, though I beat her in a punch-out recently,” Garfiel said. 

“This may be true, but you also managed to defeat the Bowel Hunter, yes?” Reinhard said. “She may not have been worthy of the Dragon Sword, but she was a rather impressive opponent. She managed to get the best of a Great Spirit when he was low on mana, isn’t that right?” 

“Perhaps she was to some extent bluffing, hoping that Beatrice would stand aside seeing her bravery,” Wilhelm said. “Or perhaps she was giving into her anger, and was making such statements with no thought to their authenticity.” 

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Ram fight at full capacity… except that she passed out when she exerted herself too much against those Mabeasts, Subaru thought. If she got knocked out from fighting Ulgarm, could she really beat Beatrice?

Still, Subaru knew better than to assume that just because of that that Ram wasn’t a threat. After all, as Reinhard had pointed out, Puck had essentially run dry on mana against Elsa, but to put his overall threat level beneath Elsa was a mistake -- his Beast of the End form had proved that. It was only the circumstances of the fight that had caused him to lose. Maybe Ram was similar? 

Beatrice seemed unfazed by the threat. Then, Subaru grabbed her curly hair and pulled them sideways, causing them to bounce around like springs. 

“Oh yeah, that feels good!” Subaru said.

“Wh-what are you doing?! Do you want to die?!” Beatrice demanded.

“Don’t be dumb. I don’t want to die in the slightest. I’m fine with dying just once, at the end of a long life. That’s how I really feel.”

Despite Subaru saying that…it seems he means to do the opposite, now, Reinhard thought, feeling sad. 

Despite saying that, Subaru walked closer to Ram.

“You have guts. You finally accept your fate?” Ram asked.

“I wouldn’t call it that. If anything, I’d say I’ve made up my mind.”

Subaru bowed towards Ram. “Sorry… I’ve caused a lot of grief for you guys by being such a loser.”

Ram’s breath hitched. “You really do know something about Rem?”

“Based on her reaction… and the fact that she’s still not even accusing you of killing Rem despite your suspicious behavior and that you ran away… do you think you could have negotiated yourself out of this situation?” Felix said. “It wouldn’t have been easy… but maybe you could have convinced them to let you live?”

“But Subaru didn’t have any useful information,” Julius said. “He could say that the shaman came from the village, but he doesn’t even know that for sure, nor does he have any excuse for knowing it. I feel as though the only way Ram would forgive Subaru at this point is if he provided actionable information, which he had none of.”

“My best chance in that loop would have been to double down and swear I didn’t know anything from the very start,” Subaru said. “But if I’d done that… Rem would be dead.” 

There was a brief silence. 

“Yeah, it’s true. Cap’n isn’t doing this ‘cause people were mad at him or because he looked suspicious and might be in danger… he was doin’ it to protect Ram and Rem. So even if he could have salvaged it, seems like Cap’n wouldn’t have.” 

Subaru didn’t state a response aloud, but Garfiel was right. The only reason why he might not have moved to save Rem and Ram is if he would have lacked the resolve to end himself, which was nearly the case. 

“I see,” Felix said. 

“No, sorry, but I honestly don’t know a thing,” Subaru said. “Frankly, there’s too much I don’t know. But… I decided to learn more about the things I don’t know.”

“How can you say that now?!” Ram said. “Rem is already dead! What can you do by learning anything now?!”

“I won’t make any cool statements about what I’ll be able to do. After all, this is what happened when I couldn’t do anything… I know that my words aren’t convincing in the least. But I do remember… I know parts of you two that you’ve forgotten!”

“What do you know about Rem and me?!”

The group watched the exchange quietly, as Ram and Subaru essentially talked past each other, on different planes of existence. For Ram, getting her sister back was impossible, but Subaru planned to do just that. As such, Subaru’s reckless proclamations seemed like nothing but insensitive words to Ram. Tension was mounting, as what was about to happen became increasingly obvious. 

“You’re right. I don’t know anything that’s really important. But you don’t know either, do you?!”

“Know what?!”

“That I love you guys!” Subaru shouted.

He really means what he’s saying… Felix thought. Did such small gestures mean so much to him? If someone taught him how to cut appas now, would he still love them so much? Does he still have a heart as big as that? 

“Cap’n really is special,” Garfiel said somberly. It was tough for anyone, even Subaru, to know whether or not he meant that positively. 

Special indeed, Wilhelm said. These girls have absolutely no idea how lucky they are. 

As Ram stared at Subaru in surprise and confusion, Subaru turned around and ran towards the cliff. Beatrice reached out a hand towards him, looking shocked. “Wait!” she shouted.

As Subaru ran towards the cliff, he recalled the good times he’d had in the mansion. 

“This is something only I can do!” Subaru shouted, as he threw himself off the cliff. 

He remembered Rem’s torture, and how Ram had promised to kill him. 

“I’m going to save you!” Subaru promised as he hurtled towards the rocks. 

The episode ended as he hit them, the title card appearing: “Natsuki Subaru’s Restart.”

“Then that’s it,” Julius said. He didn’t feel upset, or even angry with Subaru… just sort of hollow. His eyes snapped to Felix, ready to do damage control. 

“Why?!” Felix said, distressed. 

“You know why,” Subaru said. 

“But-- you can’t-- it’s just passing your pain onto others, it’s--” 

“Felix,” Julius said. “I know you have a history with this, and I understand why you would find this genuinely upsetting.”

Subaru watched their exchange with wide eyes, not having known this about Felix.

“But his situation is clearly unique. He did what he did in an attempt to alleviate the suffering of others,” Julius said. “So, I must request… please don’t take out your negative feelings on Subaru.” 

Felix bowed his head. “I’m sorry… please forgive Ferri-chan.” 

“--Thanks,” Subaru said. “I appreciate it.”

They’d butt heads more than once this episode, but Subaru didn’t really resent Felix. It seemed like he had a lot of baggage underneath the surface that Subaru didn’t truly understand. 

“Cap’n… I can’t agree with what you did…” Garfiel said. “But you’re really brave.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Subaru said, a bit embarrassed. Still, he was relieved that Garfiel didn’t see him any differently.

“We should take a break before the next episode, or maybe after it,” Reinhard said.

“What is the next episode?” Julius asked.

Next episode: “I Cried, I Cried My Lungs Out, and Stopped Crying.” 

“Looks like we can give up now on this being the last loop,” Felix mumbled.

Subaru hid a tiny grin. Ah, but little do you know, Felix… little do you know.