Chapter Text
Yeonjun has a plan. He knows he isn’t good at planning, considering how badly his half-assed plans fall through, but this time he has three other people to help him. Well, five if he counts his grandmother’s good luck wishes.
He takes a deep breath to calm his nerves, his fingers clenching the bouquet between his palms, bought at the flower shop Beomgyu had recommended. The fresh scent of the changing seasons, now that February is coming to an end, fills Yeonjun with all the butterflies that only a love worthy of spring is. The nights are still cold, however, which does not help Yeonjun’s cause as he waits in the dark for the boy to finally arrive.
Yeonjun wishes he could say it was his idea, but in the end Beomgyu should get all the credit for Yeonjun’s foolproof plan to confess his love to one Choi Soobin. After coming to terms with the fact that he does indeed have romantic feelings for the gangly and awkward boy of their group, Yeonjun had gone to sleep a little lighter and a lot nervous at the same time, only to be awakened the next day by Beomgyu shaking him.
He had a plan, all written in his infamous notebook, in which Yeonjun’s confession is now listed under the things to do by Soobin’s last birthday before graduation. Even though that date passed months ago.
“Step one!” Beomgyu had said loudly enough for Taehyung to stumble sleepily into the room and check out the cause of the commotion. Yeonjun had only grabbed the notebook and read through the steps because he knew how stubborn Beomgyu could get. “Come clean to the others.”
“Did you sleep at all last night?” Yeonjun had grumbled, a little overwhelmed by the elaborate plan in his hands. “Can’t I just confess to Soobin? Why the others?”
This question answered itself the second Yeonjun was forced to accede. It was funny how Kai and Taehyun sat in the garage of the supermarket and looked at Yeonjun and Beomgyu in confusion because Yeonjun had refused to say a word and Beomgyu had said a few too many.
“Okay, let me get this straight,” Kai said, “You want us to help Yeonjun to confess to Soobin?”
“Since when are we in love with Soobin?” Taehyun added. He had looked the most skeptical of all. Considering their history about Yeonjun’s past difficulties with the topic, he couldn’t blame him.
“Yesterday,” Yeonjun said plumply. After a nudge from Beomgyu, he added, “I’ve been in love with him all along, but I realized it only yesterday.”
“And you’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“One hundred percent?”
“Two hundred, if we get this over with faster.”
“Thank heaven the angst can finally end,” Kai had cheered, and that was it, because apparently everyone had known about Yeonjun and Soobin’s tragic love for each other before Yeonjun and Soobin themselves. It made Yeonjun feel sorry for himself for about a second because Beomgyu wouldn’t give him any more time for a pity party.
“Step two! We need time a time and place!”
That’s how Yeonjun ends up here at the train station in the middle of the night. It was the first thing that came to his mind when he thought about what Soobin loves the most. Here, under the blessing of the stars, Yeonjun can confess and remember all their most beautiful moments together, undisturbed.
Step three involved a trip to the flower shop for Yeonjun and Beomgyu, because the younger had done his research on the language of flowers. Not that it helped Yeonjun much, because Beomgyu only told him to get red roses. Obviously. The other two buttered up to Soobin in the meantime and lured him to the station under the pretext that Kai wants to show him a new game or something.
Step four is waiting. Patience isn’t exactly Yeonjun’s best virtue, which left him nervous and angsty during the last days when it kept raining. Kai had tried to calm him down by saying that Soobin had enough time to heal from his own confession and might be more receptive to Yeonjun’s, while Yeonjun was pretty sure that Soobin would suffer less if he knew the truth sooner. Not that he had much say in Beomgyu’s meticulous planning.
At least the rainy days were spent quite busy. Beomgyu and he moved in with his grandmother. For Yeonjun, it was easy because he only had to move his clothes from A to B. Beomgyu whined about having to set up his streaming his equipment again. Taehyung had agreed to follow them soon, but he still needed some time to sort through his stuff and decide what to take with him and what to leave in the cabin.
Then, as of today, Yeonjun is finally ready. He shuffles on the spot, a little sweaty, while Beomgyu waits in a bush. The boy has probably never heard of privacy, something Yeonjun has come to terms with after Beomgyu refused to stay in his own room and cuddled Yeonjun to death in his sleep.
Yeonjun is wearing his best hoodie and jeans and even thought of putting on his new necklace that matches his earrings perfectly. Taehyun took care of his hair and Kai had helped him to write a little speech, because Kai is the one who had to suffer the most form Soobin’s lovesick ramblings.
“That’s why I was so angry with you after you broke up,” Kai had confessed. “Soobin was so in love with you that I kind of hated you a for breaking his heart.”
When a twig demands his attention, Yeonjun knows that step five has finally come: Soobin arrives and will be amazed by Yeonjun’s ethereal appearance. Yeonjun tries his best to smile despite the trembling in every muscle and the labored breathing from fear. He takes a deep breath and watches the bushes rustle until finally Soobin stumbles out.
Beomgyu was wrong about step five. It isn’t Soobin who is amazed by Yeonjun, it’s Yeonjun who is lost for words at the sight of Choi Soobin. He doesn’t know how Kai and Taehyun did it, but somehow they got Soobin to wear a nice sweater and tight jeans, making him look so soft and yet so attractive at the same time. Yeonjun swallows despite his tightening throat and hopes that he doesn’t look too much like a lovesick fool.
Soobin hasn’t notices what’s going on because he’s too busy arguing with Taehyun and Kai, shouting about where they’re taking him so urgently, until they push him forward and run away.
“Kang Taehyun! Huening Kai! What are you—” Soobin gives up yelling after them when they obviously don’t come back.
Yeonjun takes his chance. He takes a step forward, his lips quivering as he says, “Soobinie.”
Soobin perks up and turns around, his eyebrows furrowed, even more confused now. “What are you—” He stops as soon as he sees Yeonjun. He must be quite a sight, with his big bouquet, nervous smile and red cheeks. He inhales once, twice, three times, trying to swallow while grounding himself by clutching the flowers tighter.
Right, flowers.
He thrusts them out to Soobin, ducking his head to hide the embarrassment on his cheeks. He waves a few times until Soobin finally takes them.
“Yeonjun, what is—”
“Venus is the second brightest natural object in the sky after the moon,” Yeonjun recites from his head. “Voyager Two is the only spacecraft to fly past Uranus. No other spacecraft has orbited it to study it at close range.”
“What are you—”
“When the universe was created, it was very hot. I can’t remember the degree, but it’s getting colder by the second until it will eventually freeze. Or something like that. The stars we see aren’t dying, that’s just a myth. But stars that suddenly die are eight times the mass of the sun. They become supergiants and try to stay alive until they explode in a supernova. A supernova outshines every other star before it quickly fades away, leaving only a tiny, dense object.”
“Yeonjun, can you—”
“Stars come in clusters. They aren’t alone, they’re pairs and groups, and they orbit around each other. The sunset on Mars is blue because of the dust particles. About 95 percent of the universe is invisible to the naked eye.”
“Junie—”
“If two pieces of the same kind of metal touch in space, they will bond and be stuck together forever. I can’t remember what it’s called or why. But stars don’t twinkle either, that’s just an illusion—”
“Junie, you can stop.”
“Soobinie, I—” The words get stuck. He can’t bring himself to say them. He’s made this whole speech with Kai so that Yeonjun can buy himself some time before he confesses outright, except that Soobin stopping him has thrown him off. Yeonjun isn’t good at talking about his feelings when it’s already so hard to accept them. Confessing his love seems to be the hardest thing in his life right now.
“What… what is this?” Soobin asks timidly, motioning with the flowers.
“I—” No matter how hard Yeonjun tries, something prevents him from saying it. It was so easy to tell the others, why was it so hard to say to Soobin? He already knows that his feelings are reciprocated, but what if Soobin has decided that Yeonjun doesn’t deserve another chance?
But Soobin deserves to know, Yeonjun tries to convince himself. Soobin deserves to know that he’s loved by someone he loves. Soobin deserves to be wooed and confessed to in the most romantic way possible, because Yeonjun couldn’t give him that before. Flowers, stars, a place filled with so many memories – yet here Yeonjun stands, paralyzed by his fear of being rejected.
“Arp 273 is the name of a spiral galaxy in the Andromeda constellation. It looks like a rose,” he finally manages to say. He remembers Soobin telling him that at the amusement park when he gave him a ring. Only now does Yeonjun realize that this was Soobin’s confession. His fingers automatically go to his necklace, drawing Soobin’s attention to it. “And Beomgyu said that roses are the symbol of… love.”
Soobin’s breath hitches, his hands press the bouquet deeper into him. Yeonjun hopes that this is a good sign as he tries to gather his courage after finally saying the word.
“Choi Soobin… Choi Soobin is the kindest person I know on this planet. Soobin is cute and adorable and I love to squeeze his cheeks and his dimples. I love… I love the way he smiles and I love it even more when I can make him smile. I love when his cheeks turn red, and I love it even more when they do so because of me. I love when Soobin laughs because it makes me so happy to hear him laugh. I love… I love how much you love the stars, so much so that I started to love them myself.”
Finally, Yeonjun’s eyes meet Soobin’s. He takes a step closer, Soobin only looking at him, his eyes wide and searching.
“I love that you make me smile. I love that you hug me when I’m sad and talk to me when I need it the most. I love every single word that comes out of your super loveable lips, even though sometimes I don’t understand a word. I love the way you hold me and the way you kiss me, and I love the way you make me feel when you do. I want to kiss you again and again until you tell me to stop. I want to feel like I’m on top of the world again because you make me want to reach for the stars. I want you, Choi Soobin, if you will have me.”
“Yeonjun,” Soobin breathes and unconsciously takes a step back. Now he tears his eyes away from Yeonjun, crestfallen. “I can’t start kissing and sleeping with you again. It’s unfair if I love you and you don’t—”
“But I do.”
Soobin’s head whips up. Yeonjun’s lips quirk up at the deer-in-the-headlights expression. It’s what he needs to push further, to pull Soobin in despite the roses being squashed between them. It’s easier now to press their foreheads together and breathe against his lips,
“I, Choi Yeonjun, like you, Choi Soobin.”
Soobin gasps against his lips. The bouquet falls between their feet as Soobin reaches for his hoodie. Yeonjun pushes closer, chest against chest, wrapping his arms tighter around Soobin’s middle.
“You like me?”
Yeonjun nods against him, rubbing his nose against his. “Get this: I’m in love with you, Soobinie.”
“But I—”
“I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it. Can you forgive my dumb ass and give me another chance?”
“I’m confused,” Soobin whispers between them. “Where is this coming from all off a sudden? And why now?”
Yeonjun closes his eyes and breathes in the Soobin’s scent. It calms him down, brings him the peace he has longed for so long.
“Your confession was a much-needed wake-up call. I was so afraid of not being loved by you that it was easier to convince myself that I didn’t have these feelings. But I do. I love you, Soobinie.”
“Junie…”
“I mean it. One hundred percent serious. I love you and I will never stop loving you. I’m so sorry for everything I put you through, but I hope you’ll give me another chance. Please?”
“Another chance?”
“To love you as you deserve.”
“Hmm,” Soobin rumbles. Yeonjun feels it on his chest, loves how he can feel it. Soobin tilts his head slightly, their noses brushing. “I don’t know. I’m not really convinced. Say it again,” he says in jest.
“I love you.”
Saying these words brings the brightest smile on Yeonjun’s lips. It frees him as much as it fills him with all the excitement and happiness in the world. Being in Soobin’s arm and sharing his most intimate feelings with him, Yeonjun has never felt more at peace than he does now.
A small laugh comes out of his throat, as if he couldn’t contain his happiness any longer, it all spills out like the song he’s been writing all year.
“I love you, my Soobinie.” Another giggle as he squeezes Soobin’s middle. He lights up when Soobin begins to smile, a little cautiously. “Come on, tell me, Soobinie. Tell me you love me too.”
“Who says I do?” Soobin refuses, but the bright grin on his face betrays him.
Yeonjun leans in closer, biting his lip to keep his smile from getting any wider. “Soobinie, my love, what do I have to do to make you say it?”
“Say it again.”
“I love you.”
“Again.”
“I love you.”
“And again.”
“Am I a broken record? If I have to, I will tell you a hundred times! I love you. I love you. I love—”
Yeonjun and Soobin have experienced many firsts together – their first kiss, also Soobin’s first kiss, their first kiss of love, their first time being intimate, their first confession, their first relationship – but this is by far Yeonjun’s most precious first. It’s his first kiss with Soobin that they both know will serve as a testament to their feelings.
It’s Soobin who closes the distance to silence Yeonjun, making him say the words through actions. Soobin’s hands cradle his face and pull him in, Yeonjun’s fingers grip Soobin’s hoodie to stay grounded in reality when the kiss turns his head. Soobin kisses as he always does, full of confidence and emotion. He’s learned well from Yeonjun and knows how to move, as if Yeonjun were a star worth studying.
Yeonjun whines when Soobin pulls back, much too soon. Yeonjun doesn’t want to let him go and chases after him, turning one kiss into two and then three.
“I want to hear it again,” Soobin demands between kisses, and Yeonjun willingly complies.
“I love you, Soobinie. Now you.”
Another kiss.
“I love you, Junie.”
And another. Again and again. Yeonjun has never been able to get enough of Soobin, and that isn’t going to change anytime soon. He could kiss Soobin until the sun rises high in the sky and even longer. A rustling in the bushes, however, tears him from the world he has been lulled into. He slowly ends the kiss, adding a peck or two before looking up into Soobin’s eyes. They are both flushed and grinning brightly, magically.
“You want to hear it again?” Soobin teases. His hands squeeze Yeonjun’s cheeks, making his lips pucker for another kiss.
“Always,” he answers and pulls out of Soobin’s hands. “But let’s go somewhere more private first.”
“Why? Wait, do you want to…?”
It takes Yeonjun a moment to realize what Soobin is playing at. When he does, his face turns bright red. “I just think we don’t have to share everything with them.”
“Them? Who?”
Yeonjun nods toward the bushes. Soobin blinks. Yeonjun sighs.
“They’re hiding in the bushes in case I chicken out. And we know Beomgyu, he’s probably filming the whole thing to tease us for the rest of our lives.”
“A video?” Yeonjun nods. “I hope Beomgyu will share it with me.”
“Don’t encourage him!”
Yeonjun almost falls backwards when Soobin kisses him again, but fortunately Soobin catches his fall. This time, Soobin takes his time to deepen the kiss, exploring every corner of his mouth as much as he lets Yeonjun do his own, hands caressing his back again and again.
“You’re doing good, guys!” Kai suddenly yells from one of the bushes.
Soobin pulls away, his eyebrow ticked in annoyance. “Fuck off before I kick your asses!”
“Alright! See you tomorrow!”
Yeonjun pulls Soobin back to him, catches his lip between his teeth, and then murmurs softly, “That was sexy, Soobinie. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“For you, always.”
~~~
If Yeonjun could, he would choose to live in Soobin’s arms. There are no words to describe how much he missed lying in Soobin’s arms and staring at the fake stars they’ve glued to the ceiling. Yeonjun snuggles deeper into Soobin’s chest and enjoys having his hair brushed by Soobin’s long fingers while the others are intertwined with his own.
“You mean I have to thank Beomgyu for bringing you to your senses and making you confess?” Soobin sums up Yeonjun’s retelling of the last few days.
“I would have confessed anyway.”
“Would you now?”
Soobin squeezes his fingers and leans down to give him a quick kiss on the head.
“Sure. I’d die without my daily dose of Soobin. You won’t get rid of me that easily.” And to prove his point, Yeonjun throws his leg over Soobin’s midsection, clinging to him like a leech. “I’m a package deal.”
“Good thing I like that package.”
“Even with all my baggage?”
“Even with all your baggage.”
“Even if my baggage has hurt you before?”
“What do you mean?”
Yeonjun slowly pulls away from Soobin and sits up, waiting for Soobin to follow. Soobin’s hand immediately finds Yeonjun’s waist to comfort him. Yeonjun wants to kiss the boy and never let him go again.
“I’m an emotional wreck, Binnie. I’m so broken that I didn’t realize I was in love with you until someone had to spell it out for me. And it made you doubt yourself. I hate that. I don’t want that to happen again.”
“It wasn’t all your fault,” Soobin says. Before Yeonjun can argue, he adds, “I could have told you my feelings instead of letting things get out of hand. You didn’t make me doubt myself, I was already doing that on my own.”
“Still… I’m broken, Soobinie.”
Soobin cups Yeonjun’s cheek in his hand and smiles softly at him. “It’s okay. I’m here for you.”
Yeonjun loves it when he does that, leans back into Soobin and lets himself be wrapped in his arms. He hesitates for a moment, trying to find comfort in Soobin’s neck. He closes his eyes and just feels.
“Beomgyu wants me to go to therapy with him.”
“Huh? Like together?”
He feels Soobin’s hand play with the strand of hair at the back of his neck. Soobin’s breath flows over his hair, tickling a little. Yeonjun nuzzles deeper and smiles.
“Taehyun thinks that Beomgyu should talk to a therapist about his father so that he does not end up as a dysfunctional adult.”
“So he asked you to go with him?”
“Basically,” Yeonjun nods against Soobin’s shoulder and presses a short kiss against his throat. “He thinks that Taehyun’s reasoning should apply to me as well. That we have to work through things so that we can deal with them better. He wants to go for Taehyun’s sake, but is too nervous to do it on his own.”
“And? Do you want to?”
Yeonjun opens his eyes and stares at the warm skin in front of him. He licks over his lips and presses a long kiss against it.
“I don’t know,” he says slowly, unsure. “I mean, Beomgyu is right. My mind does need some help to… you know?”
“If you want, try.”
“Would you?”
“Hm?”
Yeonjun leans up and plants a small kiss on his lips. “What do you say, Soobinie? Should I go to therapy?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think,” Soobin retaliates, but Yeonjun is quick to shut him up.
“It matters to me. Your opinion is important.”
Soobin palms his cheek again and pulls Yeonjun in for a short but sweet kiss. Yeonjun feels his head spin at how emotionally charged this kiss feels, and he gets out of breath at the thought of having Soobin all to himself.
“I think you should go,” Soobin says after he stops, nosing him. “You’re already considering it, so I don’t see why not. If you think it will help you, I think it’s best if you try.”
In a burst of courage and love, Yeonjun pulls him in by the lapels, pouring every ounce of positive emotion for the boy into the kiss. He wants to leave Soobin as breathless as he feels, wants to turn Soobin’s head as much as he turns his. Yeonjun kisses Soobin as if it were their first and last, hoping for many more to come. Then he sits up to fumble for something in his pants.
“What are you—”
“Got it!” With a bright beam, Yeonjun pulls out a candy ring and hands it to Soobin, who mirrors his expression.
“You’re so silly,” Soobin laughs as Yeonjun puts the ring on Soobin’s finger. “I love you so much, Junie.”
“I love you, too,” Yeonjun murmurs between kisses, giggling when Soobin tries to reciprocate but fails miserably. Soobin’s hands wander along his torso, finding their way under Yeonjun’s hoodie.
“I can’t believe that this is happening,” Soobin whispers as he stares up at Yeonjun. His eyes shine beautifully, just as they do when Soobin looks at the stars. Yeonjun’s heart leaps at the thought of Soobin looking at him as if he were a star himself. “I never thought I could have you like this.”
Yeonjun pouts and coos at him, starting to play with the strings of his hood. “You can have me any way you want,” he says in a deep voice, his smile turning into a smug grin at Soobin’s flustered expression.
“Oh, really?” Yeonjun nods and runs his hands through Soobin’s hair to raise it adorably. “Then I want you to be my boyfriend.”
Yeonjun doesn’t have to think about this twice. “Yes, of course.” And just to tease Soobin a bit more, Yeonjun pulls his own hoodie over his head, literally exposing himself to Soobin. His grin widens at Soobin’s adorably flushed face and wide eyes, bringing Soobin’s hands down to his bared skin. “But I can think of other ways you can take me, Soobinie.”
“You’ll be the death of me, Junie.”
“To you, always.”
~~~
Against all expectations, Yeonjun graduates.
He doesn’t know how he did it, only that he has his picture taken with a big grin on his face, showing off his high school diploma. Sure, he won’t get into any prestigious college with his mediocre grades and passable college entrance exams, but Yeonjun is just happy that he finished school with something in his hands. It doesn’t matter that Beomgyu and Soobin shine brighter than him, holding their nearly perfect grades as if it wasn’t a hard feat.
Yeonjun basks in the paise of the people attending the graduation ceremony for him. Even Heeseung makes it all the way there and stands next to his newly met and new mentor Taehyung, who is bundled up despite the warming temperatures and waves to him from his seat high on the bleachers, looking like a proud big brother next to Yeonjun’s teary-eyed grandmother.
“Congratulations,” Soobin whispers against Yeonjun’s lips before pressing his own against them, another picture taken by Kai to print the memory for eternity. It adds to Yeonjun’s growing collection of couple pics that he likes to stick on the wall above his desk. Just a glance up and Yeonjun can bask in the memory of having Soobin at his side in any place he wants, a perfect motivator to shoulder the last hurdles to graduation and making something of his life.
“Let’s take one together,” Taehyun suggests and pulls Beomgyu to the trees in front of their school, where he waits for the others with gleaming eyes.
Jungkook takes the camera from Kai and hands it to Taehyung, who waits for the five of them to line up before releasing the shutter and then again and again. In each of them, at least one of them isn’t quite ready, be it Beomgyu, who can’t decide where to put his arms around Taehyun, or Kai, who complains about being the pathetic single among them. Yeonjun loves all these pictures equally, but the one where Soobin looks at him instead of into the camera is his favorite.
Against all other expectations, Beomgyu’s mother shows up just before they go to a restaurant to celebrate. Taehyun is ready to fight her as soon as she gets in their way, but Beomgyu asks for a moment alone with her and leaves. When he comes back with a dim smile, but not too sad, no one worries too much about it.
“She apologized to me,” Beomgyu tells them that night when the five of them sleep over at the station. Taehyun hugs Beomgyu’s side and snuggles deeper into his chest, just like Kai does from Beomgyu’s other side. “My father no longer recognizes me as his son, but my mom wants to stay in touch.”
“What do you want?” Yeonjun asks the question on the tip of everyone’s tongue. Soobin pats Yeonjun’s head comfortingly, probably in case Yeonjun thinks back to the disappointment of his mother leaving him without a word.
“I think I want to give her a chance. Not sure.”
Later, Beomgyu asks Yeonjun directly what he would do after waking him up. Yeonjun doesn’t have the heart to be angry with him for disturbing his peaceful sleep, when Beomgyu sounds a bit shaken and uncertain.
“If I had a choice,” Yeonjun tries to formulate the thought that has been in his chest since his mother left, “I would have tried. Your mother loves you. She came to you and apologized, that must mean something.”
“She’s doing the bare minimum,” Beomgyu counters, but Yeonjun hears the doubt in his words.
“She could have dumped you, but she didn’t.” Or she could have just not come, almost leaves Yeonjun’s throat. He stops it at the last moment. This is about Beomgyu and Beomgyu alone. “You have to decide, Gyu. If you want to, then do it. If you don’t, then don’t. Just promise me that you’ll cut off contact the moment she makes you feel uncomfortable.”
When Beomgyu doesn’t answer, Yeonjun closes his eyes and shuffles closer to Soobin. He presses his forehead against his arm and breathes in Soobin’s scent to relax his muscles and feel comfortable. Soobin shifts next to him and pulls Yeonjun closer, stroking his back even when as he sleeps. Yeonjun falls asleep within seconds.
Only a few days after their graduation, Yeonjun is busy taking the pictures down from his wall and carefully placing them in a box for transportation. Taehyung helps him pack his things, even though Yeonjun absolutely refuses to let him handle anything too heavy.
“Excited?” Taehyung asks into the silence of the room. As much as it can be called silence when Beomgyu plays some old rock songs loudly from his room. Yeonjun really doesn’t know how his grandmother can stand the loud noise when she’s in the room to teach Beomgyu how to fold clothes properly.
“A little.”
When Beomgyu screams loudly because his grandmother accidentally pushed his micophone off the desk, Taehyung laughs heartly. “I’m going to miss this.”
“You’ll miss Beomgyu’s motor mouth when it’s so loud?”
Taehyung shrugs, amused. “He makes the house feel alive. It’ll feel empty when you’re gone.”
“We’ll call at least once a week.”
“Twice or I will send Jungkook after you.”
“Love you too, big bro.”
Yeonjun takes a quick look around his room, his heart aching at the growing emptiness but at the same time filled with excitement for what is to come. Packing this time doesn’t mean that Yeonjun will be gone forever and that he will always have a home to come back to.
In the end, it wasn’t a difficult decision. When Beomgyu started looking for a pace to live in Seoul, he simply asked whether he should look for a student dormitory or an apartment for two. Although Yeonjun hadn’t planned to leave so soon, with his graduation still uncertain back then, it stayed on his mind for most of the following days and nights. He had just found a place here in the village, even if it hurt him to think about Beomgyu leaving the nest soon.
There were two reasons why Yeonjun gave in and agreed to move in with Beomgyu. The first reason came to him when he came home one sunny day. Taehyung and Namjoon were sitting at the table, both pouring over piles of papers.
“What are you doing?” Yeonjun asked, taking off his shoes and backpack.
Taehyung just smiled and waved him over. Who would have known that right there on the table lay Yeonjun’s chance for a bright future, because Yeonjun had to sit down for a second when Namjoon tried to explain it to him a second time.
“It’s a scholarship. With Taehyung’s recommendation and charity, this art school is willing to give you a chance despite your grades and attendance record. You only have to send some samples, but Taehyung thinks they’re good enough to get in.”
And even though Yeonjun had profusely declined Taehyung’s money, he couldn’t hold back the waves of hope that there might be something Yeonjun could do with his life. Something that he has become quite confident in.
Only with the promise to pay Taehyung back one day, Yeonjun finished the application and started to wait for the school’s response. Those were days and weeks in which Yeonjun walked holes into the ground by how much he paced back and forth, neither of his friends was able to stop him. Or maybe Soobin did it a little bit by pulling Yeonjun down to look at the stars and explaining the universe in such detail that Yeonjun felt lost in it.
Until one day he got the answer. And Yeonjun was accepted.
That day, he cried on Soobin’s shoulder in relief.
Who turns out to be the second reason why Yeonjun agrees. Soobin has been accepted into a prestigious school close near his and Beomgyu’s, where he can follow his career path of becoming a lawyer. And maybe study the stars for his minor as a compromise. Yeonjun is happy that Soobin is finally doing something for himself, even if it is only a minor. He got even happier when Beomgyu told him that he’d found a cheap apartment.
“Why three rooms?” Yeonjun had asked confused.
“For three people?” Beomgyu had replied equally confused.
It seems that Yeonjun will not only move into the city with Beomgyu, but also with Soobin. To say that he was thrilled would be an understatement. The day he had heard about this wonderful surprise, Yeonjun couldn’t stop kissing Soobin and showing him how talented his tongue can be.
“Now imagine you can have this every day whenever you want, my love,” Yeonjun had whispered to a breathless Soobin who could only say,
“I fucking love you so much, Junie.”
And to give them a medicine for what it’s going to be like in the future, Beomgyu had yelled from his room next to Yeonjun’s, “And I love my fucking sanity! Can you fuck more quietly when we live together? Otherwise I’ll move in with Wooyoung and Changbin!”
Yeonjun wished.
Back in the present, Yeonjun looks into his room one last time. The walls are bare, the closet is empty, the bed is carefully made. When Yeonjun leaves his room this time, he leaves nothing behind. When the door closes, Yeonjun goes back to open it again, letting the light spill out into the hallway. The room is empty, but the door and curtains will always remain wide open.
~~~
The drive is long. Yeonjun leans against the window and watches the clouds fly by, his hair blowing in the warm summer breeze. It hits the skin on his face like a soft caress. He spreads his fingers for the wind to thread through, while his other hand is wrapped around his boyfriend’s one, who uses Yeonjun’s shoulder as a pillow.
“We’re here.”
At Jungkook’s announcement and Seokjin’s exit, Yeonjun starts to shake Soobin awake and Kai by extension. He hears Taehyun and Beomgyu groaning behind them, followed by loud smacking that sound like Beomgyu showering Taehyun with lots of kisses because Taehyun is apparently the cutest when he wakes up. Yeonjun thinks differently because it’s totally Soobin.
Yeonjun can’t wait to get out of the car. Not if it means that he can run up the small dune that separates the house from the beach, spread his arms, and take a deep breath of the salty scent. A broad grin spreads across his face at the feeling of freedom that envelops him, and he feels like a seagull flying in the wind as the waves crash against the shore.
“Come help us unpack, you lazy brick!” Beomgyu interrupts his healing time. Yeonjun wants to smack him, but stops when Taehyun gives him a warning look. The boy has been working out lately and has built up a nice physique that Beomgyu likes to show off, much to the other boys’ dismay.
It was Beomgyu’s idea to come to the beach house early this year. To celebrate his birthday, he’d said, even though his birthday was months ago. They have a list to complete before they start college, was his second argument that got them all in. It is the last time they would be together as five before they are separated by miles. Especially Beomgyu has a hard time letting go of his boyfriend, even if it’s only geographically.
It’s the same as last year. They start to discuss about rooming arrangements until Kai retreats to the living room with Jungkook because he doesn’t want to share with one of the couples, especially if Beomgyu doesn’t stop making suggestive remarks. They run around in the sun and shiver when they hit the water, which is still cold this early in the season, but that doesn’t stop them from throwing Soobin into literally cold water. Yeonjun enjoys the attention he gets from a clinging Soobin and uses his good mood to share a secret underwater kiss with him.
They eat whatever Jungkook and Seokjin whip up, with Yeonjun asking for recipes since neither Soobin nor Beomgyu are familiar with the world of cooking. They video call Wooyoung and Changbin to make them jealous of the beautiful view, they decorate the cake with candles for Beomgyu to blow out, they play stupid games and ask even stupider questions – Yeonjun has a camera roll filled with Taehyun’s doe eyes, Kai’s brilliant smile, Beomgyu’s trademark grin, and Soobin’s dimpled cheeks. He even takes the time to paint a small canvas for Taehyung and then one for Heeseung, which Jungkook will take home with him since Soobin, Beomgyu and Yeonjun won’t be returning with them.
The day passes and just before nightfall, Kai brings out a plastic bag from his father’s supermarket, filled to the brim with many packages.
“No,” Soobin whines as soon as the bag’s contents hit the table, while Beomgyu enthusiastically grabs various hair dyes.
“I want red,” Beomgyu decides and holds the box up to his face for Taehyun’s approval.
Kai laughs and responds to Soobin’s whine, “I thought we could make it a tradition. Let’s dye our hair together.”
“Red looks good,” Taehyun agrees, then grabs one for himself. “How about if I do pink? Then we’ll match.”
“My hair didn’t like it last time,” Soobin pouts again, to which Yeonjun tugs at his cheek.
“I think you’d look pretty, Soobinie. Why not try something new?”
“I’d probably look ugly.”
“Nah,” Yeonjun shakes his head and presses a small peck against the now red cheek. “Why don’t you try blond? Your bleached hair looked so fine before we dyed it purple.”
“Then let’s match, Soobinie,” Kai suggests excitedly. “I loved my blond last time, I want to try it again!”
“Alright, alright, I’ll do it,” Soobin gives in and collapses against a laughing Taehyun.
“What about you, Yeonjun?”
Yeonjun smiles at Beomgyu, already having made his mind up. He takes the dye in front of him and waves it at the boys with a growing smile.
By the time the dyeing is done and their hair is dry, the night has fully set in. The wind feels icy on his skin as Yeonjun finally joins the other boys on the porch. Soobin points to the sky and explains the constellations that Yeonjun already knows by heart. Beomgyu slowly connects the dots and looks through the telescope from time to time, completely relaxed when Kai snuggles up to Taehyun because he’s cold.
“Isn’t the sun the brightest star?” Kai asks from behind them as Soobin points to Sirius, the brightest star in the night sky.
“We can’t see the sun at night,” Soobin deadpans, earning a kick in calf.
Yeonjun laughs at the display, leans against Soobin’s back, and tries to look through the telescope by pushing Beomgyu away.
“The sun is the brightest star we can see,” Yeonjun explains, wrinkling his nose at the lack of understanding of what he is seeing. “Did you know that sunflowers turn toward the brightest star? At night they turn away and close up because it’s dark and cold.”
“Then they should look up and see the stars,” Soobin pouts, earning a kiss from a laughing Yeonjun.
Yeonjun watches the stars from down here, running his fingers through his freshly dyed blue hair. He takes in every single dot before he won’t be able to enjoy them anymore. In Seoul, the stars aren’t as bright and scattered.
But that’s okay, Yeonjun reminds himself.
Soobin reaches for his hand and intertwines their fingers, smiling at Yeonjun as he always does. On Yeonjun’s other side, Beomgyu leans against his thigh, behind him Taehyun and Kai giggling. The waves crash and seagulls chirp.
It’s okay, because the boy with the blue hair has finally found a home in the brightest stars of the night.
~ The End ~