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I don’t know what I was thinking.
I don’t know what I wanted, coming here on a Saturday. The store was closed on Saturdays. Standing outside this door in the cold. It was sprinkling.
Ding Ding
“Hello? Oh, Tomioka. What are you doing here on a saturday? You know we’re closed on Saturdays.”
He smiles, chuckling a little. For some reason that put a lump in my throat.
I wasn’t sure. I lift my hand, feeling something crumple. It was my grocery list. I had forgotten it was there. I must have gotten distracted on my way to the supermarket.
He tilts his head, confused. He always looked adorable when he did that. “I told you I was coming here to rearrange displays for spring, didn’t I? You read the message.” He opened the door a little wider, letting me see the cardboard all over the floor, broken down old book displays ready to be taken to storage. He was right, I remember reading the message now. Sent earlier this morning after I had gotten home from my morning walk. It must have slipped my mind.
He laughs. My throat grows tighter. I’m not sure why I feel like crying.
“I’m not surprised. Thats been happening more often these days.” He smiles and then looks out behind me, his face growing concerned. “Want to come inside and wait for the weather to clear up? You don’t look like you brought an umbrella.” I was confused for a moment before I realized he was talking about the rain. It had grown heavier than just a sprinkle now. How long had we been talking? I should refuse though. I’d probably be a bother.
“Oh Nah,” He laughs, casually grabbing my arm and pulling me through the door, “It’ll be nice to have company since its just me here.” The door closes with a jungle behind him and I stand frozen for a few seconds before he nudges me toward the counter on his way back to the boxes. I walk over and stare at it for a few seconds before taking a seat on it like he always does. “Why did you go out in rainy weather to grocery shop? You usually stay inside on Saturdays.” He says offhandedly as he goes back to breaking down cardboard displays.
I don’t remember why I left the house today. It takes me a few seconds before I look at my grocery list and it clicks. I ran out of rice earlier. He hums, smiling to himself. “Let me guess, you were going to just wait till tomorrow but you realized you had some other things you needed to restock on as well. Did you run out of toilet paper again?” He grins at me, cheekily.
I glance at the list.
I had.
“I knew it.” He grins. My breath catches a little. I was so confused. Why could I barely remember what I was doing last? I don’t even remember writing the list, just a haze of walking and then stopping in front of the store. What was I doing?
“Tomioka?” He was looking worried now. I’m not sure what he was worried about. Was I quiet for too long? I was usually quiet anyways, it shouldn’t be too much of a worry. “Hey, Tomioka, what's wrong?” I flinch as a warm hand touches my face. Looking up at him in shock.
“... Sabito? What is it? Why do you look so concerned?”
He just stared into my eyes for a few seconds longer before answering, “Giyuu, you’re crying.” He swipes at some tears on my cheek as he speaks. It takes a moment for it to register but hes right. I was crying. “Oh. I am.” I let out a light laugh, a little surprised at myself. “I didn’t realize.” I move to wipe my tears but he stops me, wiping them away for me. “Do you know what caused it?” He seems so confused. I feel a little sad for him because I don’t even know myself. Just the thought of him right now was enough to put me into a state of shock.
I pause, staring at Sabito with a new sense of clarity in my eyes. I remember why I was here now.
I start laughing.
“Giyuu? Giyuu what's gotten into you? Are you- Giyuu!?” I cut him off by dragging him into a hug, burying my face into his shoulder. I keep laughing, nearly hysterical by the rush of relief and reassurance I feel from his presence. “Tomioka Giyuu I swear if you don’t explain yourself right now-” I squeeze him a little tighter. “Just- give me a moment.”
He stops for a few seconds before he just sighs and pats me on the back. “Alright then. But I better get an explanation after this.”
He will. I just need to feel it for myself.
The fact that hes alive right now.
Just for a moment, I just need to know.