Chapter Text
Arthur lost consciousness again very soon.
Thankfully, not very far away from where they had been attacked, the orb of light guided Merlin towards a small shepherds’ hut that was ready with a small cot and clean, wool covers, a hearth and some already chopped wood. Merlin got a big fire going, but still magically warmed the place, while he carefully took off Arthur’s clothes. His magic helped dissolve the fabric that had attached to the worst of the injury.
It was longer than Merlin had suspected back in the forest. It wasn’t as deep, though —or his magic had done an even greater job than he had thought it could. Thankfully Arthur had remained unconscious while Merlin undressed him.
There wasn’t much he was able to do in the hut because it wasn’t supposed to be used for a prolonged stay, but at least there was a small pot in which Merlin got some ice to sanitise by boiling. When it was ready to use, Merlin cleaned Arthur of blood, patting the skin around the edges of the wound with his wet neckerchief.
Arthur emitted pained moans and shivered under his touch, the fever rising with each moment passed. Merlin needed to close the wound, apply herbs that had disappeared along with the horses, or Arthur would keep on losing blood and die from the infection. Or he could trust his healing magic had gotten better; that in his desperation not to lose his bloody destiny —the love of his life— Merlin’s magic would be enough to heal such an injury.
Cleaning his hands of Arthur’s blood, Merlin put both hovering over the worst of the damage on Arthur’s back.
“Gestepe haele braed. Ahúttre pá braed. Purhhaele dolgbeen…” Merlin’s voice deepened as he chanted.
He closed his eyes, concentrating on remembering all the healing spells he had ever read about injuries, mending muscle and renewing skin, breaking fever or healing infections. Merlin felt the power radiating from him like never before, and even under his closed lids he could feel the golden light prickling.
Feeling his magic working on him, Arthur breathed louder, uncomfortable, surely noticing his skin growing tighter, mending.
Merlin had the fleeting thought that maybe he shouldn’t be using magic on Arthur now that the prince knew about him. Maybe he should have asked first. Too late now. Merlin returned to concentrating on his spells and in sending all the power he could towards healing the broken body on the bed.
But the fact that Arthur knew, that when he woke up he would demand explanations that Merlin didn’t know how to give —that everything would change, that Arthur would now look at him with fear; that the trust would be gone; that he would lose Arthur forever and he loved the silly prat —made Merlin’s heart clench painfully in his chest and the tears started rolling down his cheeks, unbidden and traitorous.
The prince woke up trying to conceal a yelp.
“Sorry,” Merlin said, sobbing.
“Hurts.” Arthur’s breathing, which until that moment had been controlled, if slow, now came short and shallow, full of pain and distress.
“I…” Merlin’s tears felt hot, running uncontrolled down his face. He couldn’t wipe them away because he needed both hands over Arthur. “Forgive me.”
Arthur was trying his best not to make any more distressed sounds, closing his fist and biting on it. But as his skin finally closed he lost the battle and screamed, reaching for Merlin and grasping his leg tight.
Merlin felt exhausted and he allowed himself to fall by Arthur’s side, breathless.
The injury would scar, but that was alright. One more added to the great collection of scars Arthur had, despite how young he was, and it meant he had survived. Again. It seemed like both of them had a map of painful survival drawn across their bodies.
“You need to drink,” Merlin slurred. “Give me a moment.”
Taking a deep breath, Merlin all but threw himself to the floor. Thankfully the hearth and the pot with still-warm water weren’t far from the cot. He managed to pour a cup and offer it to Arthur, who made a face at the taste as he drank very slowly, lifting his head only a little, obviously unable to move much more.
When he couldn’t drink more, Merlin drank himself. He also made a face. Melted ice tasted awful.
“I need to rest,” Merlin informed the prince, his voice hoarse.
“You exhausted yourself, didn’t you?” Arthur asked, and Merlin simply nodded. Arthur smiled a little and moved his hand, like he wanted to slap him without any strength. “Clotpole.”
Merlin snorted, and hiccupped a little.
“I guess there’s a lot we have to talk about, but… Would it be alright if we sleep first?” Merlin asked, biting down on his lower lip anxiously.
It wasn’t his imagination that Arthur’s eyes stared at his mouth for a moment too long before answering.
“I’m not sure I’d be able to move yet, but if you help me, we can share.”
Merlin was really surprised at the offer, but the other option was to sleep sitting on the floor and resting against the wall just like he was right now, and it was very uncomfortable.
It took a bit of manoeuvring, but after a moment, they were as comfortably set as they would ever be in a cot in a shepherds’ hut in the middle of winter after having been attacked by four magical beasts commanded by an evil sorcerer.
Merlin covered Arthur’s back with the remains of his tunic first and the wool covers after they were magically warmed.
“Cover yourself,” Arthur commanded. “You’ll freeze to death and be useless in the morning.”
Not in the mood for fighting, Merlin obeyed, pulling the covers over his own shoulders.
Arthur’s cheeks were rosy, and his eyes bright and bloodshot. He was shivering slightly.
“Don’t fall,” Arthur whispered, putting an arm around Merlin’s waist and pressing them closer. His voice was slurred, but Merlin wasn’t sure if it was from exhaustion or the fever.
“I’ll try not to,” the warlock answered, smiling and getting cosy on his side, moving closer to his prince.
Their bodies were touching from legs to waists, their arms firmly around each other, but there was no other way to fit in the narrow cot without moving Arthur around and still not touching his injury.
“When I’ve regained a little energy, I’ll do something about your fever,” Merlin said, brushing Arthur’s fringe away from his forehead with the excuse of checking his temperature.
Arthur simply nodded by blinking tiredly.
“Maybe I should…” Merlin swallowed, looking deep into Arthur’s eyes. “I might need to act while you’re unconscious.”
“I accepted your oath,” Arthur said, his voice losing all its strength. He was fighting not to close his eyes. “You have— my permission.”
“You’re not afraid.” It wasn’t a question, and in that very moment Merlin realised that he had never removed his hand from Arthur’s face. Realised it now rested on his prince’s neck.
“No.” Arthur’s smile was very small but still sincere.
Merlin felt Arthur moving slightly closer, enough so that their foreheads touched. He guessed the prince had finally lost his battle against exhaustion and fallen asleep, because his ragged breathing evened out.
Merlin caressed the burning skin of Arthur’s neck for a moment, until he lost the fight with his feelings. His lungs constricted and a sob tore through his chest. He gripped Arthur’s neck a little tighter and Merlin allowed thick tears to roll down his cheeks again.
“I can’t believe that you’re not afraid of me, that you still trust me and my magic. I can’t thank you enough, I just…” he confessed into the quiet hut. The hiccups interrupted his words but he kept on talking, now that Arthur couldn’t hear him. “I love you so much, Arthur.”
The Prince didn’t move. Merlin cried himself to sleep with his love confession burning on his tongue.
«--»
When Merlin woke up it was already morning.
There was no sound in the hut but for the fire his magic had kept going all night long. It was still chilly in the small space, though, and Merlin felt very tired.
The wool covers laid over him and Arthur had been enough to keep them somewhat warm, but it was more the fact that they had been absolutely attached to each other, arms and legs wrapped around the other, that allowed them to sleep more or less restfully.
Merlin felt daring, and he checked Arthur’s temperature by kissing his forehead.
He was still a bit warm, but his fever didn’t feel like he had an infection. The prince didn’t move, and his breathing sent comforting warm puffs of air over Merlin’s neck.
Taking care not to disturb him, Merlin left the hut and sent his magic to check if the horses might be near. He sensed nothing, but hopefully the well-trained animals had returned to Camelot. With luck, Uther would send for a search party, and by this time tomorrow they’d be back home.
He hated himself for what he did next, but he didn’t have time or energy for hunting, and he didn’t want to leave Arthur alone. He sent a pulse of radiant magic outwards, and called for any unwary animal that wasn’t hibernating. A couple of minutes later a rabbit was at the door.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, feeling only partially guilty. They had to survive.
«--»
Arthur woke up to the smell of roasting rabbit.
The Prince was able to sit down and dress with little help. He could even get out of the hut to alleviate himself by leaning on Merlin’s shoulder. He insisted on taking some steps and going about his business alone, and Merlin knew he was trying out his strength; test if he could walk back to Camelot. He smiled when Arthur joked about not being able to find his dick in the cold.
Arthur managed to return to Merlin walking straight and almost without wobbling, smiling proudly.
“Did you find it?” Merlin teased.
“You’ve seen me while I bathed, and I’m certainly not small, Merlin,” Arthur arched an eyebrow following his teasing remarks.
His foot caught and he almost fell in the snow, grunting in pain. Merlin quickly supported his prince.
“You might be a grower, who knows?” Merlin acted as if he weren't helping him at all, and laughed when he received a stronger punch than he expected.
Back inside, Merlin helped Arthur to sit on the bed and served the rabbit onto Arthur's plate. He checked on his injury.
“It’s closed but still tender,” he said while he prodded along the pink line stretching down one side of Arthur’s back. Arthur flinched and gasped when his fingers pressed down in the middle of it. “Does it hurt much?”
“Only a little,” Arthur said, looking over his shoulder. His lips glistened from the food, and Merlin had the insane thought of licking them clean. “It won’t get infected from closing so quickly, will it?”
“No,” Merlin said, although he wasn’t so sure. He quickly checked Arthur’s temperature by putting a hand on his forehead. “You’d be running a high fever if it was infected and you’re only a little warm.”
“You’re not going to eat?” Arthur asked, concerned.
“Already did while you snored away.” Merlin gave him a forced smile.
“I honestly can’t imagine how you managed to keep your magic a secret,” Arthur said, sounding angry, pushing his plate with the last bits of rabbit in Merlin’s direction. “You are the worst liar I’ve ever met. Eat up!”
“I’m not hungry and you need it more than I do.” Merlin returned the food. “You lost a lot of blood.”
“What’s wrong with it?” Arthur looked down at the plate with a nauseated look. “It’s not rat again, is it?”
“Why would it?” Merlin made an offended high-pitched sound.
“Because you only don’t want to share my food if there’s something wrong with it, Merlin,” Arthur reasoned.
Merlin gaped. He considered Arthur for a moment, and then sighed.
“There’s nothing wrong with it, rest assured,” he said, eventually. “It’s just that… I didn’t go hunting for it.”
“How did you get it, then?” Arthur asked, looking down at the plate again.
“I used magic. I called the rabbit in and captured it.” Merlin paused, and looked at the floor, unable to hold Arthur’s surprised glance. “I’m not exactly proud of using magic to trick little animals to their deaths.”
“You mean we could have used you for hunting and you—”
“Arthur!” Merlin squealed, disgusted.
“Alright, alright.”
After another moment of silence, Merlin felt Arthur leaving the plate on the bedside table. Then, he did something complicated with his hands, like he didn’t know if he wanted to touch Merin’s shoulder or his arm, or nothing at all. Arthur had always struggled with feelings, and even more with touch. Merlin wanted to smile.
Eventually the prince settled for grasping Merlin’s wrist, and the warmth and comfort from the contact travelled throughout Merlin’s whole body. It meant a lot: Arthur was touching him, trying to comfort him. Touch and feeling in one single moment. It had to mean something.
“Were you ever going to tell me?” Arthur said after a while, voice low. “About your magic.”
“Eventually.” Merlin shrugged.
“On my deathbed?” Arthur quipped.
“Probably.” Merlin looked up at Arthur’s eyes and smiled, so as to take the sting out of his words.
“And that you love me?” Arthur’s face showed a vulnerability Merlin had never seen before. Merlin felt his face heating incredibly fast, and he gasped. Arthur’s thumb moved over his wrist in a gentle caress. “Were you going to wait until I was dying to tell me that as well?”
Merlin’s mouth hung open, but only air escaped. Because his love for the astonishing man in front of him was something Merlin had been prepared to take to his own tomb.
“Yesterday, I heard you crying, like in a haze.” Arthur’s voice sounded dejected. “I wanted to calm you down, but I couldn’t move. I was so tired I couldn’t even open my eyes. And then, you said that you loved me.”
“Arthur, I…” But he didn’t know what to say.
“It’d be a shame, you know?” Arthur said, looking at where he was still caressing Merlin’s wrist. “If you’d have waited so long to tell me about your magic. Until I could do nothing but listen when you could have taught me about how it works, and I might have learnt that it’s not as evil as Father insists it is. Because the world is not black and white. There’s a magnificent gradient of grey in it. And yeah, sometimes we have to do something bad for a greater good, like kill a rabbit so that a prat prince can live for a day longer.”
Merlin laughed wetly along with Arthur. He felt his eyes welling up with fresh tears. He knelt on the floor in front of Arthur, putting his hands on his prince’s knees, and looked up.
“I am magic, Arthur,” Merlin said with as much passion as he could. “I was born to serve you and I will until I die, until you become the Once and Future King of Albion. My magic is yours. I’m yours, even if at first I couldn’t believe such a brat could be my destiny, but I wouldn’t give you up for anyone else, for anything else, Arthur.”
“Not even your own kin?” Arthur said, his blue eyes looking deep into Merlin’s own.
“I have no kin if I have to choose them over you,” Merlin repeated his words to the sorcerer that attacked them. “You are my everything. I’ll die protecting you, Arthur.”
Arthur leaned down slowly and groaned a little as the skin of his back pulled tight. But before Merlin had time to think about it, their lips met in a chaste kiss. He was so surprised that he could only open his eyes wide.
“I’ve already taken your oath twice, warlock,” Arthur said, a smile in his voice. He pressed their mouths together with a little more strength. “But my words of love and devotion, you’d have to earn them.”
“Arthur,” Merlin whispered, his shock apparent in his tone. But his hands moved to capture his prince’s neck, lest the prince think Merlin didn’t want them to be kissing. “Are you sure of this?”
“Never been so sure of something in my life,” Arthur answered.
Merlin straightened himself so that Arthur wasn’t so uncomfortable when they kissed again. This time Arthur opened his mouth and his warm breath caressed Merlin’s lips, prompting him to open up as well. When their tongues met, it was as if every single dream in Merlin’s life suddenly became real and he felt giddy.
He lifted himself completely and slowly pushed Arthur onto the bed, careful to guide him onto his side. Arthur went willingly, taking the opportunity to start caressing Merlin’s body through his clothes.
They pressed tightly together in the narrow cot, and when their groins came in contact they gasped into each other’s mouths at the feeling of rubbing their hard arousals together. Arthur put one hand on Merlin’s face to caress him, and the other around his waist so that he could rub their clothed cocks. Merlin groaned into his mouth.
With a flick of his finger their laces became undone and Merlin pushed Arthur’s trousers down.
Arthur’s breathing changed to frantic gasps when Merlin’s fingers wrapped around his thick, strained erection. Merlin moved his mouth to Arthur’s jaw and kissed his neck.
“Oh, Merlin,” Arthur moaned, hiding his flushed face on Merlin's shoulder. He pushed his cock into Merlin’s fist, precome leaking and slicking his movements.
Arthur’s fingers closed and opened in Merlin’s navel; not that it mattered right now, it was enough for the warlock to feel them touching him and seeing his prince enjoying himself so much.
“Can I?” Merlin asked, licking his lips and looking down, at where his hand was still moving along Arthur’s shaft. “Would you allow me? Gods, I want you so much.”
Merlin could see the skin on Arthur’s arms and the visible part of his stomach rising in goosebumps, and it was so beautiful that if he hadn’t been hard already, he would be now.
“Yes, please,” Arthur whispered, breathless. His eyes were bright, and his cheeks flushed with need. He tried to lean on his back, but the injury was still very tender, so he stayed like he was with a hiss.
Merlin wasn’t in a state to waste time and he moved to be eye level with Arthur’s arousal. Arthur couldn’t open his legs much so Merlin helped him get rid of his clothes the rest of the way. Merlin licked the length of Arthur’s cock and used one hand to push up one of Arthur’s legs, touching the inside of his thigh on his way down.
His fingers touched Arthur’s rim while he nosed the place where Arthur’s legs met his hips. It was hot and it smelled of musk and Arthur’s sweat. Unable to resist, Merlin licked right there and Arthur moaned long and wanton. Merlin’s thumb circled Arthur’s tight hole, and the prince gaped, first shying away from the touch then pushing back towards it. Merlin let his thumb catch on the wrinkled skin, pushing enough so that Arthur would notice it, but without entering him. He licked Arthur’s perineum, letting his saliva slide to help moisten Arthur’s hole.
“Merlin. I…” Arthur ground down into his finger just a little, and looked down at him with eyes bright with lust and surprise.
There was something about how Arthur reacted that spoke of inexperience.
“Arthur?” Merlin spoke softly, lifting himself a little and resting his chin on Arthur’s taught stomach, his finger tracing a slow, gentle circle around the sensitive skin of Arthur’s entrance. “Have you ever… with another man?”
Arthur bit his lower lip, his face flushed, open and full of want and need, but also a fear of rejection that the prince would always deny ever feeling.
“No,” he denied. Arthur’s body shivered, and Merlin felt it everywhere in his own. “Just. I’ve just only been with Gwen. We never went very far.”
That Gwen had been first shouldn’t annoy him, because Merlin would take more —would keep Arthur whole if he had any say in it. Still, the spike of jealousy that hit Merlin was unexpected, and he couldn’t help but bite down on the soft skin of Arthur’s belly and suck hard enough to mark. Merlin’s magic answered him, flaring angrily and possessively.
Arthur gasped, in surprise more than in pain, but he quickly pushed his body into Merlin’s, eager for his mouth, and moaned, unaware of Merlin’s turmoil. He was so beautiful that Merlin needed to take a deep breath in order to not succumb to the darkness that threatened him, and take Arthur right there, whether he hurt him or not.
“When we get back home,” Merlin murmured against the skin of Arthur’s belly, leaving small pecks everywhere, “and your back doesn’t ache to lie back or to push into me, I’ll teach you everything about love.”
His finger pushed in a little, and Arthur gaped, opening eyes that were wild with amazement and lust.
“I want it now,” he groaned, trying to make it sound like an order, but sounding petulant instead.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Merlin smirked. “It doesn’t mean that I’m going to leave you unsatisfied.”
Merlin moved his lips down and took Arthur’s hard cock between them, licking the head first before taking him deep in one go.
Arthur closed his eyes and abandoned himself to the pleasure, groaning Merlin’s name.
Merlin sucked Arthur without taking his eyes from his prince. Around the tip of his finger, Arthur’s hole pulsed while his orgasm neared. When he was reaching his peak, Arthur thrusted his hips into Merlin, and the warlock allowed him to fuck his mouth.
Merlin stared adoringly as Arthur’s summer blue eyes opened and watched him taking everything Arthur gave him. The salty come hit Merlin’s throat and he swallowed while Arthur grunted his name.
Arthur’s fingers grabbed Merlin’s neck and stroked him there.
“Sorry, sorry…” he murmured, breathless.
“What are you sorry about?” Merlin choked a laugh as he pushed himself up.
“I couldn’t help myself.”
“You were amazing,” Merlin answered passionately, and kissed him.
He was absolutely sure that, for a second, Arthur was a little repulsed to be kissing a man that had swallowed his come, but after a second, the prince was answering his kiss with ardour, his tongue curling around Merlin’s and sucking on it urgently.
Merlin was so hard that he could surely come untouched by now. He fisted himself quickly, but what did him in was Arthur wrapping his own fingers around Merlin’s and murmuring ‘let me help you’ into his mouth. He cried out his release, his magic crackling between them almost audibly.
“Can’t wait to get home,” Arthur laughed, his fingers idly smearing Merlin’s come along his shaft.
Merlin wasn’t that ready himself. He would never have Arthur for himself like he had him now, but at least there weren’t any more secrets between them.
They kissed slowly until their lips grew sore, and after a swift magical clean up, they rested on the cot. With a murmured word, the covers came quickly to Merlin’s hands and Arthur rested his blond head on Merlin’s shoulder with a sigh.
The world could have crumbled around them at that moment, and Merlin wouldn’t mind. His beloved Once and Future King was safe and sound, in his arms, half-naked and relaxed. There was absolutely nothing else he could wish for in this world.
“I can’t begin to tell you how happy I am that you don’t want to execute me or exile me, you know?” Merlin said, looking down at the man between his arms, pressing him closer. “Not just because I obviously appreciate my life, but because I don’t think I can live without you.”
Arthur smiled. Merlin sensed it against his chest and he loved the feeling.
Arthur let his fingers wander underneath Merlin's tunic and touched his skin. The contact was welcomed, until the prince traced a long scar at his side.
Merlin held his breath for a second. He wasn't ready to show them and was even less ready to speak about what caused his scars.
“I always suspected you, you know?” Arthur said with a low voice, his fingers looking for another scar to touch.
“Did you?” They looked into each other’s eyes. There was intelligence in Arthur’s blue eyes.
“There was something about you, I don’t know what it was, that made me think that you were too lucky for such a clumsy person. But it was your funny feelings that made me the most suspicious. Well, that, and how I always seemed to come out victorious from battles where I was unconscious, and you were the only one who had seen it all.
“So you never truly made it off my suspects' list.” Arthur finished, sighing.
“Yeah, put like that it sounds like a bit too much.” Merlin made a face and laughed.
“And, in the end, I’m my father’s son. I’ve been raised to be weary of my own shadow practising it when it comes to sorcery. After what happened with Morgana, whenever something magical happened, the first ones I looked to for signs of magic were Gwen and you. But as quickly as the thought appeared in my mind, I always discarded you.” Arthur paused, looking eagerly at Merlin, and rested his head back on his chest.
“Why?” Merlin asked after a while, when it was obvious the prince wasn’t going to elaborate.
“How could I have fallen for a sorcerer?” Arthur snorted. “Impossible.”
Merlin smiled at the confession, lovingly caressing threads of Arthur’s soft hair. Arthur melted into his touch.
“Yet, the next time anything happened that got magically solved, I suspected you again,” Arthur said quietly, after a moment.
“I wanted to tell you, Arthur, but…” Merlin sighed deeply, his breathing shaky. “Gods be damned, I’m only human. I love you and I didn’t want to lose you.”
“I understand why you hid, Merlin,” Arthur sat up and looked down at Merlin, who was trying his best to control his emotions and not cry. “I should turn you in as soon as we reach Camelot, but you’re safe with me.”
Arthur caressed Merlin’s cheek. The relief of his cool hand made the warlock realise how hot his cheek was.
“I’m never letting you go, Merlin. I love you too.”
Arthur bent down and kissed him full on the mouth, a deep kiss that meant more than words.
"You will tell me about your scars," Arthur said, his lips resting on Merlin's. It wasn't a question.
"Yes. About all of them," Merlin swore, lifting his head to recapture Arthur's mouth in his, the kiss fierce and all-consuming.
It was soon interrupted by Merlin’s magic warning him of horses approaching. The search party had been quicker than Merlin thought. Which was a pity because Arthur’s kisses seemed eager to start learning about magic and love now, without waiting to be home.
The knights were still far enough away to allow Arthur and Merlin time to gather their things and collect themselves. Time enough to go and meet them, which was the better option.
One last check to Arthur’s injury showed nothing but a scratch. Arthur was sour because he wasn’t going to have a small scar to remind him of his first battle with his future Court Sorcerer.
Now that Merlin could protect Arthur without having to hide his powers from him, now that he could love Arthur with his body as well as with his soul, there was nothing that was going to stop them.
Let Morgana come and try.
THE END