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Of Anti-Heroes and One Night Stands- a Memoir for Kuroo Tetsurou's Sanity

Summary:

“Fuck off.” Oikawa bit out, stepping closer to the wall. It didn’t matter, since caging Oikawa in was part of Kuroo’s plan anyway.

“I didn’t know heroes were so vulgar.”

“And I didn’t know villains slept in 8 year old boxers. Poor job benefits?”

Or, Kuroo is just trying to sleep, Oikawa is bad with directions but better with secret plans, and both are too horny for their own good.

Notes:

this was not planned. this will not be well done, it is not read over, it will not be as good as my other works, i am well aware. but the brain worm would not let me focus on anything but this till it was done, so...yeah.

enjoy, hopefully.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

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It’s crazy to think that a superhero's identity can be discovered easily with just one slip up. 

 

Case in point, Oikawa Tooru slipped into Kuroo Tetsurou’s bedroom around 3 in the morning because he was tired.  

 

Brown hair, big brown eyes- superhero Potential really was pretty. His suit was ripped from what had to be a long night of fighting bad guys and suddenly Kuroo wishes he didn’t take the night off. 

 

“I can explain.” 

 

Now, it’s fair to say that this would be the craziest thing Kuroo could think of happening to a civilian. If he was a civilian. 

 

But as crazy as Sejioh’s number one hero crawling into his bedroom after what had to be a grueling fight was, (props to Kenma, because Oikawa looked beat ) It was more crazy to think that he just happened to choose the window of his number one nemesis. 

 

Small world, Tetsurou supposed. 

 

Now Oikawa was staring wide eyed, Kuroo standing in only his boxers and even more fucked up hair then usual as the hero tried to defend himself. 

 

Kuroo had never thought the use of secret identities was valid, choosing to go full evil from the start with his face and name plastered on every wanted poster grinning with pride. But at this moment, as he watched recognition pass through the hero’s eyes, Kuroo wouldn’t mind an alibi or two of his own. 

 

There were only seconds to react as Oikawa pulled Kuroo’s wooden desk chair in the air via telekinetic energy. Ducking, Kuroo cursed under his breath as the chair hit against the far wall before breaking into pieces. 

 

“Woah! Calm down- you’re the one who broke into my house!” 

 

Kuroo watched, still crouched with hands in the air as Oikawa’s eyes shifted from purple back to the warm brown from before. That’s something you don’t get to see with the mask. 

 

“You’re also an international threat, so don’t mind me if I’m feeling cautious.” 

 

Snorting, Kuroo raised an eyebrow while slowly standing up. “I’m not the one who attacked first tonight. Breaking and entering, attacking a civilian? Adding up a lot of charges aren’t you Potential?” 

 

Oikawa sniffed, hands now tensing at his sides as Kuroo sneered. Caught him red handed, didn’t he? And with the identity processing system Kenma had installed in his house, Kuroo now knew everything he would want to know about Oikawa Tooru. 

 

“So…Tooru.” Oikawa stiffened, eyes wide as Kuroo slowly started to walk towards him. He was in no place to fight, clearly outmatched right now due to exhaustion and shock. “Can I call you that? Potential is a good hero name and all but I feel like we’re close enough now-“ 

 

“Fuck off.” Oikawa bit out, stepping closer to the wall. It didn’t matter, since caging Oikawa in was part of Kuroo’s plan anyway. 

 

“I didn’t know heroes were so vulgar.”

 

“And I didn’t know villains slept in 8 year old boxers. Poor job benefits?” 

 

Kuroo laughed, something dark and low as he boxed Tooru in against the wall. “So snarky to the very end, aren’t you Oikawa?” Grabbing Oikawa’s wrist quickly, Kuroo pulled his arms above his head and pinned them against the wall. “I haven’t been this close to you since the last time I almost killed-“ 

 

“I’m not afraid of you.” 

 

The grin grew wider, fingers sliding over Oikawa’s pressure points to feel there. “Really?” Kuroo purred out while leaning closer. Watching Oikawa gulp, Kuroo switched to one hand holding on to the hero’s wrist so he could use the other to tilt Tooru’s face up. “Your heart rate says otherwise.” 

 

Another gulp, another shot of pure adrenaline through Kuroo. This was better than he could’ve ever imagined. Potential-no, Oikawa Tooru was finished. Kuroo could share his identity with the world, he could kill him right now. 

 

He felt like killing Him would be a waste of a very beautiful super though, now that He had a chance to look at him without the mask. It would be a shame, actually. Oikawa Tooru was smart, one of the best heroes Kuroo had ever fought. Being pretty was just a bonus. Sadly, being a villain doesn’t stop just because your rival is hot, and killing hot smart heroes is just part of the job. 

 

Oikawa tried to wiggle out of the grip, clearly overwhelmed with everything because he slumped a few moments later with a defeated grumble. “What was that?” Kuroo leaned in ever closer, noses almost touching as Oikawa’s heart rate sped up again. Predictable. 

 

“I said,” Oikawa snapped. “I’m not afraid of you, you just have me pinned against a wall and are probably the most attractive guy to have done that to me in a while.” 

 

-

 

-

 

What? 

 

It was Kuroo’s turn to be surprised as Tooru continued to glare up at him, wiggling his fingers slightly as if to keep the circulation going. “I- I don’t-“ 

 

“Oh come on!” Tooru rolled his eyes. “You can’t tell me you don’t know you’re hot. You’ve been voted sexiest villain like, three years in a row now.” 

 

“Yeah but-“ 

 

“And you have this stupid deep voice and- fuck, you know that laugh you do? It’s clearly not your real laugh but god is it attractive.” 

 

“Okay wait.” Kuroo took his hand off of Tooru’s chin to cover his mouth. 

 

Oikawa’s eyes darken. 

 

Oh for fuck sake! This could not be happening. “You think I’m attractive, yes or no?” Kuroo’s voice didn’t squeak there, it didn’t. 

 

A nod. 

 

“This-” Kuroo nodded at the situation they were in. “Is this an attractive situation for you to be in right now? Being threatened?” 

 

A shrug. Kuroo swore he could feel a smile behind his hand. 

 

What the fuck? What the actual fuck was going on? Taking a step back, Kuroo shook his head while Oikawa pulled his hands off the wall. “Seriously? Like you’re not fucking with me right now?” 

 

“Kuroo,” Oikawa said exasperated, literally pouting now that Kuroo had left his space. “Why the fuck would I be messing with you right now?” 

 

“That’s literally your brand. That and I was gonna kill you. People will say anything to get out of that situation.” 

 

“It’s so late, I just want to sleep, and yes it’s my brand to fuck with people but not after I just finished a double shift.” Oikawa ran a hand down his face. “Plus it’s kind of mortifying that I said that in the first place. Next fight is going to suck.” 

 

Oikawa rubbed his shoulder as Kuroo fought off the need to comfort the hero. “It won’t be too bad.” 

 

Okay, it was late, Tooru looked cute and sleepy, he wasn’t really fighting off anything. Sue him. 

 

“I just admitted to one of my greatest rivals that I find his voice hot because of sleep deprivation.” Oikawa groaned, making his way back to the window. Not good. If Kuroo didn’t act fast the moment would be over and for some reason Kuroo didn’t like the idea of that. “God, this is so embarrassing, I’m gonna hate myself in the morning. I’m just gonna-“ 

 

Kuroo snuck up behind him and closed the window quickly. “Where do you think you're going?” 

 

Oikawa groaned. “Kuroo. I’m trying to save face. I don’t need your pity about how this isn’t gonna be weird now and how we can fight normally after this-“ 

 

“You’re not going anywhere.” 

 

The room seemed to freeze as Oikawa’s head ripped towards him, breath mingling with one another as Kuroo processed what he just said. “What?” It was barely a whisper, but the breathless way Tooru said it still sent a shiver down Tetsurou’s spine. 

 

God, Kenma was going to kill him. 

 

“It’s late.” Kuroo tried to explain, tried to reason to even himself as Oikawa’s eyes narrowed. “You broke into my house, thinking it was yours. Going out in this condition would be-” 

 

“You’re worried about me.” A statement, not a question. 

 

“I’m not.” It was a quick reply, doing nothing to hinder the sly smile growing on Oikawa’s face. 

 

The hero turned towards Kuroo more. “You are. Big bad Kuroo Tetsurou is worried about little old me? I’m honored. Truly, I don’t know what could possibly be a bigger honor than having one of the worlds worst villains worried about a hero going out at night. Maybe I should-” Oikawa cut himself off with a gasp, Kuroo turning him around and once again pressing him against the wall by his throat. 

 

“I’m not worried about you.” Kuroo hissed, hand tightening slightly at Oikawa’s wiggle. Hands wrapped around his wrist, trying and failing to force it off of his throat. “You sure are a cheeky little shit, you know that right? I could kill you right now, I know who you are.” Oikawa tried to choke something out, but Kuroo just watched with amusement as the brunette’s eyes started to roll to the back of his head. “You are not in a position to act like this Oikawa Tooru. You are at my mercy.” 

 

Kuroo let go, watching as Oikawa slumped to his knees , gasping for air while looking at  him with wide eyes. It was better this way, to let Tooru know who was in charge early on. Fuck, what was Kuroo doing? Sure, he was always impulsive- but housing a hero? Or was this a hostage kind of situation now that he threatened Tooru? Shit, it was a hostage situation wasn’t it? Kenma really was going to kill him now. 

 

“So-” Oikawa croaked out, coughing for a moment before restarting. “What now then?” 

 

“What?” 

 

“What now?” Oikawa repeated, looking up at him from the ground, eyes wide and swirling with some emotion that Kuroo didn’t want to put a name to. “Since I’m at your mercy, or whatever. You got me on my knees over here, what now?” 

 

Kuroo was suddenly glad it was dark in his room, the only light streaming through his window thanks to the full moon. God, he had really fucked up, hadn’t he? And now Tooru was staring up at him, looking far to calm for someone who just got choked out. Almost like…“You gonna make me beg?” He was even feeding Kuroo so many ideas, so many thoughts that really should have never seen the light of day now flooding in as Kuroo gripped onto Oikawa’s jaw. “You gonna kill me? You can’t keep me here forever-” 

 

“Why not?” Kuroo interrupted. “Why can’t I keep you here forever? It would be a locked bird in a cage situation. You can’t deny you wouldn’t like it.” 

 

Interesting. Oikawa’s jaw tightened in his grip, playful demeanor slipping away to something new. Something…more intense, more heat to it. “I wouldn’t. Nobody would like being trapped for their whole life.” 

 

Kuroo chuckled, the idea now forming in his head as he chucked Oikawa’s head to the side. “Nobody would like being trapped for their whole life.” He agreed, locking the window. “But that doesn’t seem to be the case with you. You are already trapped by the hero association. All the new rules getting you down? It’s no longer fun to be a hero, is it?” 

 

Oikawa broke eye contact, now looking at the ground as Kuroo crossed the room to the other side. “I have a guess, Oikawa Tooru, of why you really came here today. Let me know if I got it right?” He didn’t wait for an acknowledgement, Kuroo knew he was listening. “You’re trapped as a hero. You go day to day fighting bad guys that the more you listen to their rants about injustice you realize that maybe they aren’t the ones who are wrong. So one day, after fighting my dear friend, you make up your mind.” 

 

“That’s not true-”

 

“You actively seek me out-” 

 

“You’re making this up, the hero society is-” 

 

“And now you’re here.” Kuroo interrupted louder as Oikawa finally lifted his head to look at him straight on. “You actively seeked me out and acted like you were confused and tired but really you're looking for an escape. You let me see who you really are.” Oikawa didn’t say anything, mouth shut tight and hands clenched to his side as Kuroo tilted his head. “Did I get it right?” 

 

It was the way the moon shone on Tooru’s watery eyes that made Kuroo want him, he decided. It was the tortured soul, the way he looked almost pained as he finally closed his eyes and offered a single nod.

 

Kuroo was pretty sure he was grinning like a maniac. Holy fuck, this was amazing. Who would’ve guessed that Oikawa Tooru was actually busting into his room for help ? “Come here.” Kuroo said, mouth dry as Tooru looked up at him. The brunette just looked so good on his knees, not acting high and mighty. “Crawl.” 

 

Tooru’s mouth fell open, eyes narrowing as Kuroo snapped his fingers at the spot in front of him. It took a few moments, hands slowly moving from fists to palms on the floor as Tetsurou watched Oikawa take deep breaths, almost like he was calming himself down. Then, with a final breath out, Oikawa Tooru crawled towards him. 

 

Fuck, if Kuroo wasn’t turned on before he sure was now. Tooru looked absolutely sinful, head still looking down at the ground as he sat beneath his feet. Running his fingers through his hair, Kuroo watched the shiver course through the brunette. How long had it been since the hero was touched so softly? Moving his hand from his hair to cup his cheek, Kuroo offered a sickly sweet smile. “Good job kitten.” Another shiver. 

 

“Kuroo, I- I can’t do-” Kuroo slipped his thumb into Oikawa’s mouth, surprising the brunette. 

 

“You want to escape, right?” Kuroo offered, lightly putting pressure on Tooru’s jaw to make him close his mouth around the digit. “If not forever, then tonight.” Oikawa swirled his tongue around the finger, even going as far to bob his head a bit as Kuroo held back a groan. “So be stuck here. For tonight.” 

 

Oikawa released the finger with a pop, nodding while offering a breathless plead. “Please kiss me- I just need-” 

 

That was good enough for Kuroo. Oikawa gripped onto his forearms, fingernails digging into his skin as he pulled the villain down to meet his lips. It was warm, it was needy and desperate and nothing like Kuroo would expect the superhero to kiss like. Sighs, little hiccups of moans as he pulled Kuroo more to the floor with him, hands flying everywhere like he couldn’t focus on one part of Tetsurou for more than a moment. 

 

Licking into his mouth, Kuroo ate up every whine with a passion he didn’t even know he had. It was delicious, the idea of doing something wrong, the way it felt like something almost taboo to touch a hero like this. “ Fuck-” Oikawa pulled back with a gasp. Kuroo just grinned, diving back as soon as he decided Oikawa got enough air back into his lungs. 

 

It went like that for a while, Oikawa’s fingers finally finding refuge in Kuroo’s hair, his super suit now pulled almost all the way down thanks to Kuroo’s own wandering hands that were now playing with the perky buds on the brunette’s chest. “Kuroo- Tetsu, you have to- I have to-” 

 

“You know,” Kuroo said almost conversationally as Oikawa took deep gulps of air. “I thought you would be more mouthy during this. I don’t think you’ve had a coherent sentence since we started.” Oikawa just whined as Kuroo pinched a nipple, throwing his head back as he did the same to the otherside. “I think you would look really good with nipple piercings.” Kuroo suggested, lightly pushing against his chest to make him lay down on the floor. Once he did, Kuroo was quick to climb on top of him, ignoring the ache in his knees to suck on Oikawa’s chest. 

 

Back arching, Oikawa let out a filthy moan while gripping the back of his head to force the villain to stay there. Kuroo did so happily, mouthing over both of them as Oikawa continued to gasp at every pull and bite Kuroo decorated his chest with. “Tetsu, tetsu please -” 

 

“Just imagine baby,” Kuroo ignored him, lifting his face up to grin while roughly rubbing his fingers against the already sensitive nipples. “You could probably get off just like this if you had them. I would keep you nice and sensitive all the time, maybe get you some rings and connect a chain to them.” Oikawa’s eyes fluttered shut as he jerked his hips up, hard on clear against Kuroo’s own. “Would you like that kitten? Pulling you around from your tits like a leash?” 

 

Oikawa was going to wake the neighbors with how fucking loud he moaned. Hips jerking again, Kuroo forced more of his weight on top of him so Oikawa was pinned to the ground.”Answer me.” Kuroo demanded, putting all his weight on one arm so he could wrap a hand around the brunette's throat. 

 

 “I would-” Oikawa cried out as Kuroo grinded against him. He rewarded the effort with another deep kiss, a tightened hand and more pressure on Tooru’s cock. He could feel it straining against the thick material of the suit. Having the overwhelming urge to make the hero come, Kuroo doubled down on his efforts. Grabbing a nipple and pulling, Kuroo was rewarded with a loud and pained yelp that morphed into a long moan. 

 

“God, you are such a pain slut Oikawa.” Kuroo wasn’t even focused on the words he was saying anymore, much more keyed into the way Oikawa grinded his cock against his own, the way the Hero seemed to agree with everything he was saying. “Gonna look so good with them, gonna make you come from just your tits-” Kuroo sat up, grinding down hard on Oikawa’s cock as he felt it between the thin fabric of his boxers and his ass cheeks. “Don’t even get me started on your pretty cock baby. Gonna get that pierced too for me?” Oikawa nodded, almost like a bobble head as Kuroo reached behind him to grab onto his dick. Rubbing his cock through the fabric, all Tooru could do was make aborted noises of pain and pleasure as Kuroo tightened his grip on him. “Gonna look like a proper slut for me huh? A perfect hero all debauched and ruined because of Kuroo Tetsurou.” Hips thrusting into his hand, Kuroo finally decided to let him out of his misery by taking his cock completely out of the suit. 

 

It was dripping precum, balls strung tight as Oikawa groaned. “Thank you- holy shit thank you-” Oikawa did most of the work, thrusting into his hand as Kuroo watched him unravel completely. There really wasn’t a warning, more of a shout and then cum leaking over Kuroo’s hand as he milked Oikawa for everything that he had. 

 

Loud gasps turned to quiet pants to pained whimpers, Oikawa’s fingers twitching at the overstimulation before Kuroo finally let go of his cock. “You made a mess.” Kuroo said while showing Tooru his hand. Oikawa whimpered again, almost like a kicked dog as Tetsurou sighed while standing. “Well, come clean it up.” Oikawa sat up and got back on his knees, eyes still glazed over as he slowly opened his mouth. 

 

Groaning, Kuroo was quick to finger fuck his throat, pushing his fingers deep and ruthlessly, all while Tooru gagged around them. It was too much, Kuroo fumbling to pull down his own boxer and take his dick out. “You ready?” Oikawa nodded, licking in between his fingers as Kuroo took them out and replaced it with his cock. 

 

It was fast, seeing Tooru come and all the build up was something already setting him on edge. “I’m not gonna last-” Kuroo gritted out, Oikawa simply gagging as Kuroo forced more of his cock down his throat. Tears formed, then spilled as Kuroo groaned. How was the hero still so pretty even when he was getting throat fucked? In fact- 

 

Removing his cock, Kuroo quickly jerked himself off to completion as cum splattered on Tooru’s face. Chin, cheek, open mouth, Oikawa looked like a certified mess as he swallowed whatever had landed in his mouth. And yet, he was still so fucking pretty now covered in cum.  It was quiet, the only noises being them breathing as Kuroo sunk to the ground, this time pulling the hero next to him. Wrapping an arm around him, Oikawa placed his own head on Kuroo’s shoulder while wiping off his face with a t-shirt Kuroo handed him from the floor. 

 

Kuroo wasn’t sure how long they sat there, quietly breathing and calming down from whatever that was. It was a sexual build up for sure, something that looking back, Kuroo could see happening from a mile away. But Oikawa actively seeked him out for this, meaning that he probably had another reason. Kuroo wasn’t stupid in thinking he was 100% correct in his guess of Tooru being tired of his hero persona, though he did think that was part of it. 

 

There was a slight snore, Tooru clearly succumbing to the exhaustion as he dozed on Kuroo’s shoulder. Fucking hell. What was he going to do now? What should he do? Now that he knew who Oikawa was, Kuroo knew what he should do. A known hero is a dead hero, right? 

 

“I can feel you thinking too hard.” Oikawa whispered, big eyes now staring up at Kuroo. “Your negative energy is off the charts. You gonna kill me now that you know who I am?” 

 

“I should.” 

 

They lapsed back into silence as Kuroo felt the need to laugh. God, what did he get himself into? Instead, Kuroo rested his head on top of Tooru. “We’re fucked.” Kuroo whispered after a few more minutes, the sound of the city waking up a stark reminder of the reality of the situation. 

 

“We don’t have to be. You got a bathroom around here? I’m fucking sticky and its your fault.” Kuroo snorted, his own exhaustion now creeping around the corner as he nodded to a side door. 

 

“Don’t steal anything.” 

 

“That’s your gig, not mine.” 

 

Kuroo watched Oikawa stand up, kicking the super suit the rest of the way off before going into the bathroom. The hero left the door open, turning on the shower as Kuroo contemplated what he had meant. Was he implying that Kuroo just acted like he didn’t know who Oikawa was when they fought? Maybe he was subtly asking if he could switch sides. Either way, Kuroo knew he was in for a headache. 

 

By the time Oikawa had finished showering, Kuroo had gotten dressed, laid out a set of clothes on the bed for him and moved into the kitchen to get coffee. Maybe Oikawa would leave through the window, that would clear it up for Tetsurou right? No such luck as Tooru came into the kitchen, looking around the small apartment before stopping across the counter. Fuck, he really did look cute in Kuroo’s clothes. “You have two bedrooms.” 

 

“I have a roommate.” 

 

“Ah, so the job benefits really do suck.” Kuroo snorted, pushing a cup of coffee towards Oikawa for some reason before grabbing another one for himself. “Thanks.” 

 

Pouring his own cup, Kuroo let out a sigh before turning back towards the hero. “What do you mean by…us not being fucked?” 

 

Oikawa sipped his coffee before making a face, gesturing for the sugar container behind Kuroo. “You were right, I don't like how the hero society is run.” Kuroo raised an eyebrow, handing him the container and a spoon. “But I don’t want to be a villain. That’s stupid.” Kuroo frowned as Oikawa pointed the spoon at him. “No offense.” 

 

“Some offense is taken.” 

 

Shrugging, Oikawa pushed the container back. “I want to overthrow the society. I need your help.” 

 

“Was us having sex a bribe?” Kuroo asked incredulously. He had to admit, if it was, he had fallen face first for it. 

 

Oikawa scoffed. “No. That was…not part of my plan. I just…” Oikawa took a long drink, frowning at his cup afterwards before sighing. “You’re frustrating Kuroo Tetsurou. You know you have the lowest kill count of any villain in Seijoh? In fact, all of your property destruction is done at times when the least amount of people would be at said property.” Gulping, Kuroo watched as Oikawa walked around the counter. He didn’t realize any hero would notice that. 

 

“You’re hiding something. You don’t want innocent people dying either.” Oikawa whispered, tilting his head while running his hand up Kuroo’s chest. “You don’t want random death and destruction, you’re after something different. You’re not as bad as the media paints you. I don’t mind working with an anti-hero.” 

 

An anti-hero. 

 

Kuroo cleared his throat, thinking over his own goals for the city as Oikawa grinned. “You don’t know what I’m after Oikawa. How do you know it isn’t something sinister?” 

 

“Intuition.” Oikawa shot back almost immediately. “Intuition, looking at statistics of your crimes for months,” Oikawa wrapped his arms around his neck, cocking a hip while staring directly at Kuroo’s lips. “Hope.” 

 

Hope, what a void word. But as Oikawa kissed him slowly, Kuroo’s hands going to wrap around his waist, Kuroo could feel his own sense of hope refilling him. He was about to do something even more stupid, wasn’t he? “You in?” Oikawa whispered as they pulled apart. 

 

“I’m in. For now.”

 

Oikawa raised an eyebrow. “You haven’t even heard my plan. For a villain you sure are trusting.” 

 

Kuroo opened his mouth to respond, but the front door swinging open had the two of them freezing in place. Kenma had changed from his villain outfit to street clothes, looking very tired but surprised to see a new person in their kitchen. “Kuro.” Kenma said accusingly. “Who’s this?” 

 

It was like he was stuck, mouth open wide as his worst nightmare started happening right in front of him. Oikawa gave him an evil side eye, mumbling something about how he was in with the plan before offering a wide smile to Kenma. 

 

“Sorry, I’m usually gone by the time you get back but I was off of work today.” Kenma’s eyes narrowed as Oikawa offered him a hand, Kuroo watching with wide eyes as Kenma took it. “I’m Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo’s boyfriend.” 

 

Yeah. Kuroo was utterly fucked. 

Notes:

i want everyone to know i am working on the last day of the week chapter, this just gripped me by the throat and demanded i wrote out what ideas i had. am i happy with it? no. but this needed to happen so i could get it out of my head and focus. i just love the idea of hero tooru and villain kuroo working together with a weird fake dating but they've seen each others dicks vibe they would have going on as they overthrew a corrupt superhero society. just me? okay.

in any case, thank you for indulging me in reading and hopefully yall will see me in the final chapter of Days of The Week. love you all!

(Of course, if you liked it and wanted to comment so i can talk more about this silly idea feel free, and kudo's are always appreciated)