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“Alright losers y’all got all your shit in the car?” Dorcas demanded as she started the car that they all rented for the road trip.
“Yup! I made sure of it, don’t worry Dorcas!” James yelled from the back of the car as he adjusted his seatbelt.
“Thank you James, you’re probably the only responsible adult with me here.” Dorcas got a glare from both Remus and Pandora for that, but she knows that she only spoke fact, Remus and Pandora could be absolute assholes when they wanted to.
“Reggggg, take off these headphones, the ride is gonna be so long without your sarcastic ass to entertain me.” Barty whined as he shook the seat in front of him in which Regulus was sitting with a book in his hands and some headphones over his head.
“Tell your boyfriend who is sitting right beside you to entertain you Barty, I’m sure he is way better at that than I am.” Regulus hissed, pushing Barty’s hands away from his seat before returning to reading his book.
“Alright losers we are going, adjust your seatbelts or you’re gonna pay the police officer with your own money.” Dorcas declared as she pulled away from the garage.
“Heck yeah, finally leaving!” Sirius yelled from his seat in the back beside James.
“Sirius it’s too early, keep yelling and Imma give you the biggest black eye you will ever receive.” Lily threatened as she mindlessly started braiding Mary’s hair.
Sirius quickly shut his mouth, and a long road trip with a bunch of chaotic and energetic young people in their early twenties started.
—
“For the last time Sirius and Evan, no I will not stop at the gaz station for your sorry asses to fuckin pee.” Dorcas said coldly.
“Come on Dorcas, we for real can’t hold it anymore.” Evan whined
“Then pee in your fucking pants.” Marlene laughed as soon as Dorcas said that.
“Good one babe;” She declared as she started searching for some good music to put on.
“I thought you were giving her the silent treatment for not letting you drive Marls.” Lily said with a smirk as Pandora and Mary giggled beside her.
“Oh, shut up will you? She just doesn’t want to admit that I’m the better driver here.”
“Marlene my love, you, Sirius and Barty are the worst drivers that have ever walked on earth.” Dorcas said, which got her a light punch from her girlfriend and a dramatic gasp from Barty and Sirius from the back.
—
Barty laughed loudly after making the sixth kid from a passing car burst into tears.
“Dude leave these kids alone, they didn’t do shit to you.”
“They exist, James, that’s what they did to me.” Barty said between giggles.
“Yeah you’re doing great babe, anyways James?”
“Yes Evan?”
“Is Regulus good in bed?” James choked on his drink and looked at Evan with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. “What?”
“Is my best friend good to fuck like does he moan loudly or-”
“SHUT UP I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR A THING ABOUT MY BEST FRIEND AND MY BROTHER’S SEX LIFE EVAN!!” Sirius screamed as he covered his ears with his hands.
“One more word Evan and I will personally castrate you.” Regulus simply annouced as he flipped the pages of his book.
Barty started laughing even harder.
—
“Are we there yet?” Mary said as she abused Marlene’s hair.
“No we are not Mary, ask me one more time and I will actually throw you out the window.” Dorcas threatened for the fifth time.
Mary, then, leans dramatically on Lily’s shoulder closing her eyes as she hears the girls sing along the song Marlene picked and Dorcas coldly shutting them up because she needs peace to “focus” on the road.
“Mary, here take this.” Pandora, who was sitting on Lily’s other side, called out as she handed Mary a bag of chips.
“Thank you Pandora.”
“Hey dora, do you have some soda?” Marlene asked.
“Yeah of course, here take it”
“Thanks!”
“Peter, here take these stomach ache pills. I know you get them on long car rides.” Pandora said gently as she handed Peter, who was sitting behind her, pills which he gratefully took.
_____
Remus, after an hour, totally abandoned the idea of reading, so he decided to have a little gossip session with Peter.
“My co-worker, Jane, do you remember her, right Remus?”
“The one with curled hair and freckles?”
“Yes that one, she found out about her boyfriend cheating on her.”
“No way that Tyler guy dared to cheat on such a sweet girl!”
“The bastard did! And she cheated back.”
“Slay.”
“With his goddamn sister!”
“Slay x2”
“I know right! And now they are dating!”
“Honestly it’s a win-win situation.” Regulus suddenly declared which caught Remus and Peter off guard.
They all stared at each other before they burst into laughter.
_____
At a stop Remus had a smoke break, which resulted in having a flustered Sirius spamming his phone when they got back to the car. Now, Remus knows that Sirius is literally sitting right behind him, but something about Sirius texting him in caps and making grammatical mistakes while doing so warms his heart, so he just continues to text him and make fun of him.
After half an hour, Sirius suddenly stopped texting, Remus was still confused when he heard his boyfriend half scream “Prongs are you fucking high!?”
Remus turned around to find a giggling Barty, Evan and James all of them seemed high out of their minds.
“I brought some edibles with me to share with Barty and cute little James thought they were snacks and ate some of it, now he is completely smacked lol.” Evan said between giggles.
“Did you just say that you let my boyfriend eat fucking edibles Evan?” Regulus said sharply as he codly glared at Evan.
“Oh shit-”
Five minutes later, Evan ended up with a black eye, Barty laughing out loud at Evan’s face, James confessing his undying to Regulus, Regulus hiding his blush and Sirius taking advantage of James’s current state to scare people in the passing cars (especially old people)
___
“James fucking Potter throw another fucking chip at my head and I will personally crack your arm open.” Lily threatened as she was glaring at a smirking James (yes he is still high).
“Barty, stop screaming at people they might call the police on us and adjust your fucking seatbelt! Stop taking it off damn it!” Evan suddenly screams at Barty who is fighting him while giggling like an idiot.
“Damn it you old crusty bastard! You almost hit our rented car pissed off!” Dorcas yelled at an old lady.
“Barty, I made another child cry! I’m winning right now by 10-11!!” Sirius proudly screamed at Barty who was now frowning and letting off Evan. “Shit gotta make one of these things cry before Sirius gets too much ahead of me.” Barty mumbled to himself as he turned to the window.
“Stop scary little kids guys!” James whined.