Chapter Text
Thriplow, Cambridgeshire, 4th December 1947
The bell above the shop door rang and the cold air swept in, stealing the air from his chest a little.
“Papa! Someone’s here!” And then to the customer Anthony presumed was in the shop, “Wait, please!”
Anthony’s chest ached a little at the sound of his son’s tiny voice just as it did when he saw Kate and their tiny son stood together in the kitchen with his hands covered in flour, the boy’s tiny face lit up with delight as he stared up at his mother. The same ache Anthony had in his chest every time he thought about the life he was living now. How different it was from a few short years ago.
Edmund’s tiny face appeared at the door to the office where Anthony had been opening a new shipment of books. Neddy grinned.
“There’s a man.”
“Is there?” Anthony grunted a little as his leg twinged when he pushed himself out of his seat leaning heavily on his cane. “Well, let’s see what he needs hey, Neddy boy?”
Neddy nodded, his curly hair that was so like Kate’s bobbing with the movement. He grabbed Anthony’s hand tugging him forward gently until they were on the main floor of the shop. Snow was falling slowly on the street outside and Anthony looked around for the customer.
The man was looking a little bemused at having been greeted in such a way, his coat pulled tightly around him to keep out the cold outside. Anthony greeted him.
“Can I help you with something, sir?”
The man shifted, his moustache rippling, “I’m looking for a gift for my nephew. I’m not really sure what sort of thing he might like.”
Anthony bent and picked up Neddy so the boy was resting on his hip, “We can help with that, can’t we Neddy?”
“Yep!” Neddy grinned, resting his chin on Anthony’s shoulder, the wool of the sweaters Kate had knitted for them blending together.
“We’re experts aren’t we?”
“Yep!” Neddy turned to the man, “Is he as big as me or littler?”
“He’s… maybe about your age?”
Anthony turned to Neddy, “Why don’t you go pick out some of your favourites. You know what they look like.”
Neddy hopped down running off towards the shelves, his tiny boots slapping on the floor.
The man smiled at Anthony, nodding his head back at Neddy. “Your boy?”
Anthony could feel his heart swelling in his chest, “My boy.”
“Born after the war?”
“A few months before the end.” Anthony nodded. “Best day of my life.”
He’d been so terrified, even as the war crawled towards its end the world had still seemed so bleak and he’d been so scared when Kate had laid his hand on her stomach and told him she was pregnant. He’d been excited, and happy and a million other things as he’d watched Kate’s stomach swell with their child but he’d been scared as well.
“I can’t wait to have little tea parties with her.” Anthony had sighed as they’d laid on a picnic blanket behind the walls of stone he’d bribed the village boys into helping him build in the short few weeks before they’d married. Her own secret garden.
Kate and scoffed, running her fingers through Anthony’s hair. “We’re having a boy. Though I suppose you can have tea parties with him as well.”
“And what gives you such authority over it?”
“I’m a nurse and I’m his mother. I know these things.”
“Are many of the airmen suffering with pregnancies?”
“No,” Kate admitted, “Though several of the nurses often are after they leave.”
Anthony wiggled his eyebrows, leaning in closer, settling himself over her, “Aren’t you glad I’m not such a rogue that I ran off and left you?”
She’d shoved at his shoulder, laughing, “You did leave me!”
“That was a slight miscommunication.” Anthony said, huffing a little at her good natured teasing, “And I feel I’ve more than made up for it!”
“Mmm I suppose you have. I’ll let you away with it just this once Mr Bridgerton.”
“Very magnanimous of you, Darling. I’m the father of our daughter after all.”
“You’re the father of our son.”
The first time he’d seen his son he’d barely been able to breathe as Sister Danbury had handed them the tiny bundle her voice a little gruff. “A beautiful baby boy.”
He’d seemed so much smaller than he remembered any of his siblings being, even Hyacinth. He’d had a shock of Kate’s dark hair and his skin had been wrinkled and red in its newness and he’d been the most beautiful thing Anthony had ever seen as tears rolled down his cheeks and he crouched beside the bed, Kate wiping them gently away.
“I told you so.”
He’d only shaken his head as he pressed his forehead against hers, “He’s the most perfect thing. I love you so much.”
There’d been tears in Kate’s own eyes as she nodded, “Happy tears?”
“The happiest.”
She had placed Neddy in his arms then and he’d had to force himself to take shuddering breaths as his son’s tiny hand had wrapped itself around his finger. “I’m your Papa. I’m going to take such good care of you and Mama. I promise.”
It was just as magical as he’d thought it would be, watching Neddy grow everyday, watching Kate love their son just as she loved him. Every day had felt perfect since they’d been married even before Neddy had joined them. Even when they disagreed, even when they argued Anthony felt lucky. Even when he sat in the Sharma’s living room for days on end while Edwina sobbed against Kate’s shoulder until Matthew Bagwell had been found. He was lucky to have survived what he had and he felt it, forced himself to appreciate his wife, his family, the life they had built together. Even when his back ached and his leg felt stiff and awkward he was thankful.
“I met my wife at the hospital here during the war actually.”
The man nodded as though he understood exactly what Anthony had been through and he supposed he probably did. Was there a single person left that hadn’t been touched in some way by the war? Ruined. Even now the world was still healing day by day.
Neddy’s footsteps pounded against the floor as he returned, a book clutched in his hands. He grinned up at the man, his little face shining with excitement. “This is the best book. It’s mine and Papa’s favourite.”
Anthony knew what it would be before the cover turned towards him. The pages of his own copy had been poured over so many times, now by another tiny set of hands.
“Peter Rabbit?”
“Yes!” Neddy breathed, scrambling over to clutch at the leg of Anthony’s trousers. “It’s about a cheeky rabbit who gets up to all sorts of trouble. He wears a jacket and my Mama and Granny Mary made me one just like his in the pictures. Peter’s the best.”
Anthony’s chest felt tight as he smoothed his son’s hair and the man smiled, obviously knowing what the book was about already. He handed the book back to Neddy. “You’ve convinced me. Ring me up.”
“Papa.” Neddy nudged him, handing the book to Anthony who set it on the counter. Wrapping it in brown paper.
Anthony handed it over and the man passed the money across the counter, tossing a coin to Neddy. “For the little salesman to buy a sweetie with.”
Neddy gasped, “Thank you, Sir!”
The man placed his hat back on his head and smiled at Anthony, “Enjoy the rest of your day.”
“You as well.”
The bell rung above the door as the customer left and Neddy bounced on the balls of his feet. “Papa! Do I have enough to buy some toffee?”
Anthony let out a delighted noise scooping up his son to settle him on the counter, leaning against it himself. “You do.”
“Did I do a good job?”
“You did an excellent job.”
“Will you tell Mama?”
“Of course I will.” Anthony kissed his forehead. “I’m so proud of you my boy.”
Neddy grinned at him, “When are we going to get Mama? Can I get my toffee when go?”
Anthony checked the battered watch on his wrist that had once been his father’s, “We have a little while but we can get your sweet when we go.”
Neddy swung his legs as he sat on the counter. “Can you tell me a story?”
Anthony loved these moments. He loved sitting with his son on his knee, reading him a story. He loved that he was giving Neddy the same sort memories he clung to from his own childhood with his father. Every day in that hospital he’d been fighting for the life he was currently living. Him and Kate and their family.
“Peter Rabbit?”
Neddy shook his head, the curls of his hair moving against his forehead. “No, tell me how you met Mama.”
Anthony pretended to groan dramatically, “Again?”
Their son nodded, “It’s the best.”
Anthony hummed, leaning his chin against his elbow. “Well Neddy boy, your Auntie Daph and Auntie Edwina organised a big party in the village here.”
Neddy’s eyes widened and Anthony could sense the anticipation in his son. “And Mama was there.”
“Mama was there.” Anthony confirmed, smiling at the memory of the first time he’d seen Kate. How his chest had felt tight and his heart had pounded even as he watched her reject dance partner after dance partner. “Auntie Daph had told me her friend was going to be there and she wanted me to talk to her. I saw your Mama across the room and my heart went like this.”
He tapped his hand against his son’s chest imitating his pounding heartbeat. Neddy gasped, “That’s quick.”
“I was very scared to talk to her.” Anthony whispered as though it was his greatest secret. “Because she was the most beautiful person I’d ever seen.”
“And she fell in love with you straight away?”
Anthony laughed, remembering the look on her face when he’d nearly ruined everything. “Obviously.”
“It’s funny.” Kate’s voice filtered through the door, catching Anthony by surprise, her hand held on the bell above the door. “I remember things a little differently.”
“Mama!” Neddy called out, scrambling off the counter to wrap his arms tightly around her as she closed the door.
“Oh, I missed you, Sweet Boy.” Her eyes sparkled at Anthony as she looked up after kissing the top of their son’s head, winking at him. “You too, Sweet Boy number one.”
Anthony felt his chest swell with pride as she leaned up, Neddy on her hip and brushed her lips against his gently, his cheeks burning. “You’re early. We were coming to get you.”
“Sister Danbury sent me home early.” Kate sighed against him, her skin cold from the walk outside. “I think she’s going soft in her old age.”
Anthony chuckled, “A far cry from the woman who told me you were her best nurse and I had better keep my hands to myself if I knew what was good for me.” He softened as Kate chuckled against his neck, Neddy nestling in closer to them both. “You should have had someone come for me. You shouldn’t be walking around in winter.”
“I used to walk around plenty in winter.”
“That was before, Kate.”
“How’s my baby brother?”
He could feel the swell of Kate’s stomach pressed against his own under her coat, barely there.
Anthony had ached so badly for children that were equal parts him and her, even after they’d had Neddy all he had wanted was more. More of her, more of the joy that filled their days. But it had been Kate who had whispered in his ear months ago now.
“I want another baby.”
“Yeah?”
She’d nodded against him, the darkness all around them, “You’ve made me very greedy. All I want is more. Plus, we make excellent babies. It’s not a biased opinion to say Neddy’s beautiful and bright and perfect.”
“Not biased at all. He’s like you.”
Now Anthony sighed, “Your Baby sister you mean, Neddy.”
He pressed his hand against where their child was being nurtured into life, even as Kate scoffed, “He had it right the first time. He’s having a baby brother.”
“Your motherly intuition’s back is it? And now you’re trying to gang up on me with our son. Shameful.”
“I was right the first time.” She poked his ribs, “Unlike you I’m not filling our son’s head with nonsense.”
“That wasn’t nonsense!” Anthony said defensively, “I was very handsome and I swept you off your feet. That’s the truth, Kate.”
She rolled her eyes but pressed her lips against his anyway. “Neddy, don’t listen to your Papa. He was very silly when he met me.”
“Papa’s never been silly.”
“Thank you, Neddy.” Anthony cut in, enjoying their family dynamic.
“Oh he was silly that night.” Her eyes were still shining at him, “How about we go home and I tell you all about it?”
Neddy nodded excitedly, “I was so good at helping Papa today! A man gave me this for a sweet!”
He held up his coin proudly and Kate gasped kissing his face, “I’m so proud of you.”
She looked back at Anthony as she reached for the door again, her smile just the same as she tilted her head, “Are you coming?”
“I’m going wherever you’re going.”