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“Mon please listen to me”
“What is this Sam?” Mom says, a white paper in her hands. The invitation for Sam’s marriage
“I can explain, please. I just need you to listen to me.”
“That’s so fucked up, you know. I always have to know things like this, because you never tells me anything.” Tears dropped off Mon’s eyes
That breaks Sam’s heart. The only thing she doesn’t want is to hurt Mon
“I was going to tell you, I promise. I just……I’m going to a lot of things right now. And I know that telling you this was going to break you. I didn’t want to hurt you Mon. My grandmother begged me, and I accepted it. I don't want to disappoint my grandmother ”
“Are you going to marry him?”
“Yes”
“Okay, that’s it. What the hell you pretend to do Sam. You choose to marry him and keep me, right?”
“You don’t know how fucking hard it’s to me. If I betray you, I betray myself. If I betray him……I betray my family. My family is very dear to me…”
“Dearer than I?”
“No….no, not dear than you.”
“I don’t want to do this anymore. Because I think I’m not enough for you, your sister said things. She did tell you to not let your grandmother control you. It’s your life Sam. Why our love it’s not enough for you, you can go away with me, we can live ours lives far away and be happy together.”
“I can’t.”
“So…….that’s it.”
“What?”
“let’s break up”
“Mon……..I may be marrying him, but I’m yours.”
“No. I can not pretend that seeing both of you getting married it’s not going to fucking destroy me Sam. That’s all I want. I want to marry you. I want to see you walking in my direction, wearing a white dress. I want to say yes in front of our friends and family and kiss you with no shame. I want to make love with you on our honeymoon. And I want all of this things to be true. I don’t want a fake relationship. I’m more than that. I deserve someone that’s not in this fucking mess. I love you so much Sam, you have no idea. But I deserve to be happy.”
“Please, don’t do this to me. Come home with me.”
“I’m at home Sam…”
“No…our home. Our house. Everything I have it’s yours. Everything I do it’s for you. I wake up everyday and i think that I’m so happy that I have you in my life, and I’m not a religious person Mon, but I do believe that god made you for me. And I can’t live without you, so please. I know that what I’m asking for you is so fucked up, I know that. But I promise to make you happy everyday. Please don’t leave me. I’m miserable without you.”
“I’m sorry…….but I can’t. You are going to marry him, everyone will know that you are his wife. Maybe you may have to give him children. I don’t want to be there and watch the love of my life doing all that stuff, because……that should be me Sam.”
Sam stays in silence. She doesn’t have the energy for that. She’s just so fucking tired…
“I’m working on myself, I’m trying to be proud of who I’m. I was miserable for a long time in my life, but I felt in love with you. And now I want to build a life with someone who is proud with themselves too. I want to have children, and I want them to go to school I say to their friends how cool their mother are. I want to show off my wife for everyone. I want to be accepted. And I don’t think you are ready for this. You’re my first love Sam, I’m always going to love you. All I said here right now, I want to do with you. But you made your choice. But I can’t……”
“Yeah, okay…”