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Hello. I know I have been gone a while and I apologize for that, but I started to lose interest in this book and in the fandom for a while, but luckily I have been re-inspired, by a particular work and decided that I want to get going with this book, especially because I can't live knowing this book is still unfinished after like 3-4 years working on it. I'm not going to lie, I have no idea or have a sense of direction for this book anymore. I had notes written in a google doc that explained what each chapter would be about and you know all the details, but sadly that got deleted accidentally a while ago and it's kind of hard to move forward. I do have physically copies of notes, but it's not as detailed and thought out as the online version. While that sucks, it's not going to stop me from finishing this book. I reread all the chapters I published, trying to get a sense of where to pick up at, but after reading over and over, I realized this book is not what I want it to be. I can't lie, I did start this book when I was a college freshman and still 18 and it was my first work, so reading over the chapters makes me cringe knowing I was still maturing and I had no idea what I was doing and I definitely didn't think this story would reach this many people on here and wattpad. Now with me being 21, almost 22 come next year, it's hard to resonate with this story as much as I did when I was younger.
As much as I want to just continue to write this, knowing that people can still find this story or that new people can read it, I guess I'm a little embarrassed of some of the things I wrote, not in a bad way but just as I was young and stupid way. Due to that, I'm more than likely am going to rewrite this story from start to finish so I can continue this story on a different note. I've mentioned before about how this story is just all over the place and how some of it doesn't make sense, or about how it's just overly dramatic. I think especially with some of the themes and triggers in this book, I didn't really do them justice. Overall this book is just a lot and looking back I have no idea why I made a bunch of 17-18 year olds go through so much crazy dramatic shit lol. While some of the big issues, such as the sexual assault, suicide, ED, cancer storyline and the mental health/mental disorder storyline will still continue, it will just be executed wayyy better and most of the dramatics (ifykyk) will be taken out, for example the leaked photo will probably still happen, but not like that, and the attempted suicide will be rewritten and more thought out, especially with the recovery. Also it will be good to work on the timeline for this book as it was messed up for quite a while. I don't expect this new version to be completely perfect, but I want to be able to look back on it in a few years or later down the road and have it not make me cringe. So anyways, that is my plan and I again apologize for leaving this book on hiatus on and off again, sometimes life gets hard and I don't have the time or inspiration to keep this up, but I'm working on this book as we speak. Thank you for all who still read. I know the Seblaine community has been quiet for sometime now which is understandable as some of us are still writing these fics about a show that came out way over 10 years ago or have simply just moved on, but I always get excited when I see a story update or a new book/oneshot and I'm hoping that by me posting this rant and working on this book that it gives others some inspiration to get going with theirs or to maybe even start their own. I love this community and I'm happy to be a part of it (now I'm just rambling and getting sappy), but anyways, look out for a new and improved version of this book coming to you soon!