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“Theta Sigma?”
“Attention! Theta Sigma!“
“Mh?”
Theta raised his head, his face radiating pure innocence.
He didn’t even get the chance to catch a glimpse of the figure looming over him before Ms Reprics* cane whacked him over the head.
Beside him Koschei chuckled.
Ms Reprics snarled; she conveyed her discontent by thumping her cane noisily.
“If it isn’t asking too much I would urge the class to PAY ATTENTION!”
Theta nodded quietly, rubbing his already bruising forehead; he made sure that Ms Reprics didn’t notice the source of his distraction.
Unluckily, Ms Reprics wasn’t quite as old and short-sighted as he’d hoped.
In the blink of an eye she had snatched the paper from his desk, holding with two trembling fingers and staring at it as if it were a Dalek on the verge of detonation.
“What is THIS?”
“An Automated Particle Decompressor with Regulated Momentum” said Koschei after class while taking a look at the sheet in front of him.
Theta’s head was resting on his desk – mainly because the back of his head hurt due to the enormous amount of blows he’d received. He was amazed at his own skull’s durability.
“Haven’t seen you working on inventions lately” added Koschei while he lifted Theta’s gaze slowly, placed the paper on his desk before lowering Theta’s head back on top of it.
Theta groaned.
“And it won’t happen ever again” he mumbled while clutching at his head.
“At least not during Ms Reprics class, I guess” added Koschei, broadly smiling. “And by the way: you left out the Heating Devolver with integral Overcurrent Protection. And, in my humble opinion you should add a mincing machine to it as well.”
Theta raised his head, glaring disbelievingly at Koschei. His mind had still trouble catching up with the present (which he was sure was a sign that Ms Reprics had managed to cause at least one blood clot to form in his brain, progressively shutting down his nerve cords.)
“You know about these... things?”
“I’m an expert” contradicted Koschei.
Theta rolled his eyes.
“You always say that before you blow something up during chemistry class. And what did you mean with the mincing...”
“Never mind” snapped Koschei before pulling out the paper again, thereby changing the position of Theta’s head on the desk.
The expected groan came, but more anguished than expected.
Koschei sniggered.
“Just bugger off, will you?” snarled Theta, massaging life back into his temples.
Koschei popped his head to one side; he didn’t seem to look at Theta as much as look right through him. His gaze travelled down, resting a few inches above the ground.
Koschei knelt down, picking up one of the sheets Theta had dropped previously while being continuously hit by Ms Reprics, showering not only his own but the nearby desks with paper.
Theta merely caught a glimpse of it.
A smile appeared on Koschei’s lips.
“What?” growled Theta. Koschei dissembled the fact that he didn’t manage to think of a snappy remark fast enough.
“Whatever” he replied.
Theta smirked.“Couldn’t think of anything clever to say, eh?”
Koschei ignored this, placing the sheet on Theta’s head before leaving in silence.
Theta sat up, groaning and moaning.
He took a closer look at the paper.
It had been one of Ms Reprics’ ideas. She got fed up with beating pupils up herself, admittedly, and had therefore pushed through the idea of signing up highly promising students as tutors for... well, friendly spoken, less promising students.
Theta shuddered at the mere thought of the terms Ms Reprics had used.
Never before he had heard a comparative accumulation of indignities.
And, worst of all: she had kept staring in his direction.
So, whether he liked it or not, he’d been signed up. And after the incident in the classroom...
The paper had been signed by Ms Reprics, alright, and it presented nothing but a combination of symbols and numbers.
ΩΩα5†3Ř
Theta stared at it for a moment, absent-mindedly approaching the great hall.
He stopped in front of the notice board, slowly glancing up.
Of course.
Ms Reprics wouldn’t simply degrade you by placing you under the care of a snobby and self-assertive student but let the rest of the students know about it.
And here it was:
LT.
0ε: F7R34z: ΩΩα5†3Ř
Theta stared at it glumly.
0ε , that was him. Or at least Ms Reprics way of writing ‘ΘΣ’. She’d probably never get the hang of the Greek letters, anyway.
And he should start searching for the 7th floor, room number 34z (wherever that was).
LT. was an abbreviation for “leisure time” which was, according to Ms Reprics, everything beside her lessons.
Regularly it meant ‘in the afternoon’.
Finding the room had taken less time than Theta had hoped.
He didn’t even know if he was supposed to knock, but his hand rose nonetheless.
“Come in.”
The command had been given even before he had had the chance to knock.
Theta sagged. Someone took this more seriously than he probably should...
Theta entered and, to his surprise, stared Koschei right in the eye, a clipboard clammed in one hand.
“You, too?” he asked, disbelievingly.
Koschei gave him a blank stare; he tapped the clipboard with a pen.
Theta turned his back, hurried out of the room only to return in an instant.
“No, it’s the right room. Definitely. You must have gotten it wrong” said Theta.
Koschei popped his head to one side.
“Is there a problem?” asked Theta.
After due consideration Koschei nodded.
“Yes” he replied “and it’s staring me right in the face.”
“Koschei, as much as I love getting carpeted by you, I don’t have time for this right now. I’ve got an appointment.”
Koschei’s lips formed the broad grin that always seemed to scare Theta.
“How fascinating. So have I.”
Something inside of Theta’s head unwound.
He went pale.
“Oh no... no, no, no, no, no...!”
Koschei’s eyes seemed even wider than before, the two glistening amber orbs that were his iris flickered with excitement.
“Well, this is going to be fun.”
“That can’t be right” snapped Theta “Ms Reprics must have made a mistake.”
Koschei smiled.
“Your respectable teacher Ms Reprics doesn’t make mistakes” he replied icyly.
“Stop this nonsense, Koschei” Theta growled “There must have been some kind of mix up and we both know it. Ms Reprics wouldn’t pick you as tutor, not even for Ushas.”
A quick exchange of glances caused both of his hearts to sag.
“Would she?” he added, not as convinced as before.
“Would you mind if we get on with it?” said Koschei in what he liked to think of his calm voice.
It was so calming it made Theta stiffen every time.
But Theta hadn’t given up his protest; at least not completely.
“But what could you possibly teach me?” asked Theta meekly.
“I could whip you into shape” Koschei smiled “though I’m convinced that Ms Reprics would prefer to do it herself. You know, the whipping and so on...”
“You’re as disobedient as I am” snapped Theta.
Koschei popped his head to one side again. There was no way of disconcerting Koschei.
“That may be...” he replied quietly “But the only difference is that I get good grades while you’re struggling to survive every year. And you know why this is?”
“Because she’s scared of you?” proposed Theta.
Koschei shook his head, still smiling.
“No. It’s because I study. So, once again, would you mind if we get on with it?”
***
“What are the major ingredients of Subversion Spheres?”
“Nails, acid, a m-transformer...”
“and..?”
“...and a coil machine?”
“Is that a question?”
“...mh...”
“Because it isn’t an answer, either. The last part is a hamster wheel.”
“This is stupid!”
Theta growled, tore a page from his notebook, scrunched it up into a tight ball and aimed.
It bounced off Koschei’s back of the head.
Slowly Koschei turned around, staring at Theta with his head on one side.
He raised his clipboard, making a note while wiggling his head a little.
“Let’s continue with the next topic of the lesson, shall we?” said Koschei after a brief silence.
Theta snarled, scribbling on the paper in front of him:
‘Lessons’; a term generally used by Koschei for a sheer never ending time period (= an hour) mostly spent with taunting Theta.
He had started his own little dictionary. Not only could he take out his stress on him (because trying to take his stress out on Koschei usually ended with a bloody nose and several bruises) but keep it as some kind of secure anchor for his sanity.
Theta was worried that he became more like Koschei day after day.
“On to the next problem” Koschei went on “How many rats fit into a tuba?”
Theta raised his head, his brows furrowed.
“On which page is this?” he asked worriedly before thumbing through his books.
“Oh, I don’t think you can find it in any of your books, my dear Theta” Koschei smiled, while adjusting his glasses “I was merely asking for your humble opinion. So, what do you think: how many rats fit into a tuba?”
Theta slammed the tome shut before leaning back in his seat, folding his arms.
Koschei shook his head, tsk-tsking while making yet another note on his clipboard.
“For Kasterborous’ sake Koschei, stop that!”
Koschei cocked an eyebrow at him. Then he started scribbling again, his eyes staring fixedly at Theta.
“I said stop!” yelled Theta before jumping from his seat, thus knocking it over.
He lunged at Koschei who, in one swift movement, grabbed his shoulders, digging his nails into his skin until Theta would freeze.
And he didn’t even stop smiling.
“Anything to carp concerning my teaching methods?” asked Koschei innocently.
Theta started growling and snarling again.
“Will you stop this nonsense? You’re neither a teacher nor a superior of any sort. And for Kasterborous’ sake if you don’t take those glasses of right away I’m gonna break them in half.”
Koschei shook his head and sighed. He pushed Theta back, pushing him fast enough that he landed on the sofa that occupied the back of the room with a loud thud.
Then he raised his clip board again, scribbling while mumbling:
“Overall performance unconvincing... partly too superficial ...”
Theta let out a long drawn-out sigh. His head fell onto his shoulders as he sank deeper into the sofa.
“You’re driving me insane.”
The next time he looked up Koschei was standing right next to him.
He stared hard at Theta, popping his head to one side as if listening to some inner voice.
Finally he lay down his clip board and pulled up a chair.
“Maybe we’ll need a different approach,” mumbled Koschei thoughtfully.
“...such as?” asked Theta.
Koschei grinned while putting an arm around his shoulder.
“Carrot and stick” he said, adding with a vicious smile on his face,
“Mostly stick, of course.”
***
“How many ventilation systems do you need to short-circuit before rebooting a Paneopal Puffy**, thus arming it?”
“...ghmm...”
“Nothing?”
“...kchh...”
There was a distressing sound as something solid and presumably metal made painful contact with strained skin.
Theta groaned and doubled over, collapsing onto his desk and panting.
Koschei leaned over him, still holding the deflagration spoon in a threatening way.
“The correct answer is: at least one.”
Theta straightened up again. He didn’t dare to nod. Neither did he dare to touch his aching backside.
The lessons with Koschei had become rather violent lately; especially since their lesson had been moved to the chemistry lab.
And Koschei was beginning to use the laboratory equipment in rather inventive ways...
“Next on...” Koschei began while wandering through the room, staring at the equipment as if he’d never seen it before, eying every filigree instrument, every bulbous glass with child-like bewilderment “...we’ll...”
Theta pulled himself together, or in fact, upright again and let out a long drawn-out sigh; but he made sure that he stayed out of Koschei’s range of hearing; he could get quite nasty when he thought his student (aka Theta) was slacking off again. Or wasn’t paying enough attention. Or simply looked as if he needed a bashing.
Koschei had stopped in front of a rack, currently touching a rather obscenely looking test-tube gingerly.
He turned around to face Theta, his lips spreading into such a wide grin that even Theta wondered why his head stayed on instead of popping off.
“Now come and take a look at that, will you?”
Worriedly Theta followed Koschei’s instructions by joining his side while never taking his eyes off him. Theta hadn’t seen Koschei smiling like this before, nonetheless he knew what it meant:
Trouble. Trouble not only involving carrots and sticks but bone fractures and third degree burns.
Theta swallowed. “Yes, sir?”
For a split of second Koschei’s smile had changed and turned into a smug smirk as his mind savoured the sound of Theta’s pouting lips forming the word ‘sir’.
Nevertheless the change in his facial expression went as quick as it had come.
“You’re still remembering the laboratory equipment’s designations, as I’m convinced...”
Theta’s face didn’t fall though even Koschei noticed that it was slightly getting paler,
“Therefore I’ll spare you the time and trouble of working through them again.”
Theta sighed, visibly relieved.
Koschei smiled; his next move wasn’t mean – it was a deathblow – and he knew it.
“Instead, we’ll go over the instruments in this cabinet...” Koschei unbolted a small cabinet’s doors before pushing them open “...which I’m sure you’ll know as well because you’ve been obediently paying attention while The Voleyard had explained its contents last week, right?”
Koschei couldn’t bite back a small chuckle as he watched Theta stiffening. And he knew he was enjoying this much more than he ought to.
Some quiet moments passed, only disturbed by the menacing squeaking as the cabinet’s doors swung back, before Theta’s mind caught up with the current events.
His eyes started to glaze and he quivered, opening and shutting his mouth several times before stammering: “..but... I... Kosch... please... Koschei...”
Koschei patted him on the back, causing Theta to wince at the gentle touch of his hand.
“Don’t be upset; I’m sure you remember something... and while we’ll continue our ‘Carrot and Stick’ practise...”,
Theta whined at the mere mentioning of it,
“...you’ll be in for a treat.”
Koschei took a quick glance at the assorted instruments before picking up something that looked like a cross between a syringe and a thermometer.
He aimed it at Theta and Theta backed away instantly, probably expecting the thing to extend razors.
But all Koschei did was smiling mildly at his colleague’s reaction; eventually Theta took it out of Koschei’s hands.
“What is it?” asked Koschei, adding before Theta even managed to open his mouth “And remember: whenever you give a wrong designation I’ll make sure that you’ll never do this ever again. And if you guess right... well, we’ll find it out, won’t we?”
Theta nodded, taking a deep breath.
“If you guess right...” repeated Koschei, a cold grin on his lips.
Theta fumbled with the instrument in his hands, turning it this way and that.
“It’s... ahem... it’s...”
Koschei had leaned closer, his lips barely brushing against Theta’s ear as he spoke “...it would make me very proud. If you guess correctly.”
Theta gulped as he felt his ears burning and blush spreading across his face.
“It’s... it’s a... some sort of pipette...?” asked Theta cautiously.
Koschei snatched it from his hands and whacked him over the head with it.
“Nope” he remarked bluntly, “it’s a weather-dependent gas syringe. How about this one...?”
Another thing was thrust into Theta’s trembling hands.
“It’s... this is...some sort of...Erlenmeyer flask?
Still smiling, Koschei shook his head.
“It’s a measuring cylinder with an integrated spray bottle,” having said that he squeezed the bottle, spraying Theta with its contents before hitting him over the head with it.
Theta bit his lower lip, avoiding Koschei’s glare.
“And... this?”
Theta was handed another instrument. He didn’t even dare look at it.
“Come on now... that’s not too hard, is it?”
Theta sighed, feeling the blood pulsating at the back of his head. He was already bruised all over.
“It’s a...” he took a glance at the scissor shaped thing “Those are...crucible tongs?”
Koschei smiled.
“Correct.”
Theta smiled sheepishly as Koschei’s fingers brushed against his chest.
Though he hadn’t expected Koschei to take off his clothes and guiding the recaptured tongs over Theta’s naked chest.
“Kosch...”
Koschei had placed a firm finger on Theta’s lips, before leaning over him and sealing his lips with a kiss.
Theta barely struggled as Koschei pressed him down onto the floor while kneeling above him.
Theta elicited a small moan as Koschei rested on his haunches, constantly covering his neck and collarbones with kisses.
Koschei caressed Theta’s body, fondly touching and stroking his soft and tender skin, before reaching out with the crucible tongs and closing them around Theta’s right nipple.
Theta took a deep breath before biting his lower lip, which seemed right now to be the only option instead of screaming with pleasure.
Koschei’s free hand travelled deeper, reaching for Theta’s groin and travelling over the soft and exciting spots that turned Theta’s world into inebriant colourful rapture.
Koschei managed to massage some life into Theta’s up until now limp member with eager precision. Hands moving smoothly, stroking, touching, rubbing, nails scratching, drawing blood, spurring on, every move, every touch increasing the pulsating and throbbing in Theta’s cock.
With Theta’s nipple still caught in the tongs, Koschei tested its durability, squeezing and twisting and pulling at Theta’s vulnerable flesh until he’d pushed him to his limits.
The moaning from underneath Koschei increased, even as Theta’s nipple was reddening and swelling, even as sweat covered his bare skin as he seemed to run hot and cold at him... even then he didn’t give Koschei the satisfaction of begging him to stop.
Koschei knew that Theta couldn’t stand the torture any longer and yet he was too proud to give in.
Koschei leaned closer, his hand still pleasing and stimulating Theta’s twitching cock, and closed his lips around Theta’s hurting nipple, sucking at it and biting down until Theta would finally give in and scream in agony.
Partially satisfied Koschei released the tong’s grip on Theta’s soft and sore flesh just before tantalizing it even more with his teeth and tongue.
Theta gasped for air, writhing underneath Koschei, begging, yelping and growling in a feral way.
Koschei leaned sideways and rummaged around in the cabinet, wheezing and panting.
He held something slightly translucent into Theta’s face.
“What...what’s this?” he asked, still gasping for air.
Koschei thrust his hips against Theta’s, making painful contact with them.
Theta rolled his eyes and growled at Koschei; Koschei’s actions made it rather hard for him to concentrate.
Still, even under those circumstances, Koschei smirked.
“It’s learning under difficult conditions” he whispered.
Theta licked his lips nervously, thereby eliciting a quiet yet impassioned groan from Koschei.
“It’s... that’s a spiral condenser” Theta coughed. Koschei’s grin widened once more.
“Correct.”
Koschei had already worked on easing the path by penetrating Theta’s tight anal cavity with moistened fingers.
Now in one swift movement he lifted Theta’s legs, and thereby his rear end as well, off the ground and pushed the pleasingly shaped instrument in.
Beneath him Theta froze.
Though his prurience was clearly visible he stared at Koschei with beckoning eyes, quivering and breathing nervously.
“Koschei are you mad? That’s glass!”
Koschei stroked his cheeks fondly before reaching for both his own and Theta’s still pressured todger.
“That’s Septilian Corundum” said Koschei softly “and if you idiot had paid attention in only one lesson then you’d have known this!”
Koschei started working again on Theta’s stretched cavity, smoothly thrusting the spiral condenser in and out, moving faster and faster, pushing it deeper and deeper, penetration Theta, carefully at first, ruthlessly in the end.
Theta’s swollen cock twitched uncontrollably as it slid through Koschei’s moist fingers.
Koschei felt that Theta was close, so close to the climax.
It didn’t take more than one, two forceful thrusts into him and some intense strokes on his todger – and Theta held his breath, his mind fleeing his body and diving into hot-white bliss.
Koschei pushed back Theta’s legs, ripping out the condenser which had been occupying his beloved hole, and thrust into him, poking Theta’s sore and pulsating cavity with his swollen member.
Theta smiled at him, still locked away in his own little world of pleasure.
When Koschei came Theta let out a growl, Koschei’s hot semen burning in his chafed insides.
Eventually Koschei would collapse on top of him, falling down onto the cute and still shivering body of his friend and taking the breath out of his lungs by smashing into him.
Still gasping, still breathing nervously and still twitching from the slopped over delight Koschei kissed Theta’s blushing cheeks.
“You always have to learn it the hard way... don’t you, my dear...my dear Theta...?”
***
“It’s gonna kill me!”
“No, it won’t.”
“Doctor, that stuff is still smoking!”
“It’s supposed to do that... it’s done that before...”
“Really?”
The Doctor folded his arms and sighed; he was more than annoyed by Jack’s mistrust and couldn’t stop but roll his eyes at him.
“It’s a simple mixture of Octarine Acetaminophen, The’nja Acetylsalicylic Acid and bleached Ammonia, with perhaps a dash of Chrysthean sodium chloride. No one’s ever died of it. And I’m fed up with you coughing all the time, it makes it really hard for me to concentrate properly. Now drink this and your flu goes away.”
He held out the cup to Jack; Jack weighed his options, eventually reaching for it and drinking it in one go.
And the Doctor had been right about it.
It did make the flu go away; along with most of Jack’s internal organs.
Also the Doctor had been right about the mixture never killing anybody; but unfortunately he had confused the bottle with the The’nja Acetylsalicylic Acid with some long expired rat poison for Gallifreyan rats. Surprisingly it still did his job, though.
A fatal error; well at least for Jack it had been.
But the Doctor even failed to notice the jerking and wincing figure of Jack as he curled up into a tight ball
And, secretly, Jack never bothered him. Jack was easy to look after. He was nice, he was clean and as long as you didn’t feed him anything poisonous he was alive. But the good thing was, even when you did so he would be alive a moment later. Probably a bit dizzy, and definitely sulkily, but alive.
He didn’t just die of old age after a short time-period***
The Doctor touched the TARDIS’ control gingerly.
An instrument. She was nothing more than an instrument, something he had to handle with care.
Something he had to know about, to know every detail, name every little part, understand any piece of her... well most pieces anyway.
And he probably never would have learned anything if it hadn’t been for those painful extra lessons...
And while Jack drew the one excruciating and first breath of life the Doctor was still lost in thought.
He had popped his head to one side, the way Koschei had always done it.
And he tried listening to the small, inner voice – and he found it to be Koschei’s.
You’re always in the middle of the right.
But everything will be just fine.
And everything will be alright.
It just takes some time...
* Ms Reprics is the Academy's teacher for 'Moral and Mental Hygiene'. She's both dreaded and ancient, taunting her pupils at every opportunity.
**A small and rather fluffy rat-like creature (cute yet armed to the teeth) designed to be a sleeper during the Great Time war. Unfortunately it turned out that all it could do was sleeping.
***aka a century