Work Text:
in a cage behind
one shot
With every passing day, she could only feel the growing exhaustion in her body. That despite doing things that normally make her relaxed, it agitates her even more. The boundless expectations on her shoulders, the responsibilities she must bare, and the endless hope given to her are all weighing her down into a lifeless puppet, a marionette.
The recent confrontation with the Order still covers her mind. Their threats to eradicate her existence as Ladybug hung in the air. She knew that she wasn't worthy to be the guardian, but she had hoped that at least her seemingly endless sacrifices for the lives of others could suffice as her worthiness for the Ladybug Miraculous. It doesn't.
"I'm caught up in your expectations
You're trying to make me live your dream
But I'm causing you so much frustration
And you only want the best for me"
Life in school wasn't any different.
Every day is a challenge for her. Avoiding her classmates' abuse, Rossi's lies and defamation, Bustier's expectations and demands and Adrien's passiveness in the situation. Everything was surrounding her.
"Mari—"
"Don't. Don't you dare call me something you're not entitled to."
He rolled his eyes. "C'mon Mari, your overreacting. They're just teasing, no one's getting hurt—"
"I am! I am getting hurt, Agreste! Do you think no one's getting hurt?! Well, I guess I'm no one because I'm getting hurt! And I don't need you to remind me over and over again that I'm alone in this mess, because of you!"
"You wanted me to show more interest
To always keep a big bright smile
Be that pinky little perfect princess
But I'm not that type of child"
Hidden inside the small space of an abandoned house, she looked outside the window to the dark and silent night of Paris.
A memory flashes through her mind.
"Maman! This! This!"
A short Asian woman heartily laughed at her young toddler's antics. And a huge bearded man taking pictures from behind them.
"Yes, Mon chérie?"
Young Marinette twirled around while wearing the flower crown she had found in a stall.
"Is it pretty?" She asks.
"Yes, chérie. It is very pretty."
Due to her mother's words, young Marinette smiled so brightly under the gazes of her loving parents. Looking so ethereal with the lights shining behind her.
"And this storm is rising inside of me
Don't you feel that our whole worlds collide?
It's getting harder to breathe
It hurts deep inside"
"It hurts, Tikki. It hurts so much..."
She wanted to cry. To let her heart out. But, she can't.
The moment she let go of everything inside her will mean that she failed. That she let everything around her get the best of her. The pain of suppressing these loud and painful emotions is eating her inside.
No matter what happens, she silently swallows all of it and put it in the back, locked away from her. She cannot break.
Ladybug can't break. Marinette can't break.
"Just let me be
Who I am
It's what you really need to understand
And I hope so hard for the pain to go away"
"C'mon Ladybug! This is our fate! We were meant to save the city, and you can't change that!"
"It's not mine!"
Chat Noir was taken aback. Ladybug rarely shouts at him or at anyone. So to hear her voice raise jolted him.
"I never wanted all of this! I wanted to live, a simple life where I'm happy, and my family's happy! This isn't me, this isn't mine, and if you think this is my fate, it's not. I will beg everyone that it isn't."
Ladybug stepped away from him motioning to leave after the argument. But before she swing away, she looked over her shoulder and spoke to him.
"Because if this is my fate, then how cruel of the world to give it to me..."
"And it's torturing me
But I can't break free
So I cry and cry but just won't get it out
The silent scream"
Staring at the mirror, she can't recognize herself anymore.
The darkened bags beneath her eyes, the dull bluebell eyes, and the black earrings on her ears.
Fate. She laughed when she thought about this world. How could fate be cruel to her, to shove the world's problem at her hands. How could fate burden her so much?
Looking at the black earrings and then moving to the closed sewing box where a box of powerful artifacts hides underneath, she smiled pitifully. Yeah, how cruel of fate to let her carry everything.
"Tell me why you're putting pressure on me
And everyday you 'cause me harm
That's the reason why I feel so lonely
Even though you hold me in your arms"
"Marinette, I know that you are having a small squabble with your classmates, but do you really want to just give up on your friendships?" Bustier asks silently.
"But Madam! They're—"
"Think about what the Marinettes of the world would do, I think they would put everything aside and help her friends."
Marinette stares at her homeroom teacher. She could literally see the rose-painted windows in her eyes. She could see that no matter what the problem is, Caline Bustier only sees the good in it, even the good in the bad.
Reaching this conclusion as she stares at her teacher, her fists slowly curl into a ball, gaze hardening, and heart closing.
"Good day, Mdm Bustier."
She turned her back and left, not sparing at her teacher's gobsmacked expression on her face. Marinette looks ahead, with cold and unwavering eyes.
"Wanna put me in a box of glitter
But I'm just trying to get right out
And now you're feeling so so bitter
Because I've let you down"
No.
No. It can't be!
She... She failed...
How could a guardian lose every single miraculous to her worst enemy? Why did she trust Félix?! Why?!
"I-I'm sorry... I'm so sorry Tikki..."
"It's okay, Marinette. It's not your fault."
'But, it is mine.' She thought ruefully with a bitter smile.
"We'll just have to find a way to bring all of it back. Me, Plagg, Wayzz and Trixx are still here, we'll help you."
"And this storm is rising inside of me
Don't you feel that our whole worlds collide?
It's getting harder to breathe
It hurts deep inside"
When was the last time she had a good sleep?
When was the last time she relaxed and spend time with her family?
When was the last time she was happy?
Endless problems continue to come her way. And Marinette doesn't know if she can handle it anymore.
'It's too much.'
Looking at the blinking stars above her, she silently wonders, what if she was there? What if she let go in the beginning? Thousands of what-ifs entered her mind.
Thousands of regrets, pain and guilt continued to build up inside her. And it's creating something inside her.
Something she might not be able to stop.
"Just let me be
Who I am
It's what you really need to understand
And I hope so hard for the pain to go away"
After months of torture. She finally retrieved almost all of the miraculouses she lost.
But not the butterfly and the peacock.
Standing above the crowd looking at her like she was a god, she felt sick. How could she accept such devotion, when she knows she doesn't deserve it.
Endless questions were thrown at her, but the only thing that stood out among the sea of words was, 'Are you and Chat Noir dating?'.
Upon hearing that, Chat Noir who was waving from behind her had a smug smile on his face when she turned to him. With that action, she finally knew.
She really is alone.
"And it's torturing me
But I can't break free
So I cry and cry but just won't get it out
The silent scream"
"Marinette... We know that you're old enough to solve your own problems, but please know we're always here for you."
Sabine said at the closed trapdoor of her daughter's room.
"We're here, chérie. Always here."
On the other side of the door, Marinette sat silently. Gripping her hair tightly, and teaching her heart to shut close. To not let anything or anyone enter. To lock everything inside.
For good.
"Can't you see how I cry for help
'Cause you should love me just for being myself
I'll drown in an ocean
Of pain and emotion
If you don't save me right away"
"I wish I never met you."
Angry eyes stare at her being. But Marinette only looked straight into a pair of green gleeful eyes.
"We are not friends anymore, Marinette. And I wish we never were."
"Gladly."
She turned around, and the moment she stepped outside of the classroom, Marinette knew there was no turning back. And thus the metaphorical bridge that connects her to them, was set ablaze leaving ashes in its wake.
Marinette knows she can't hold on for long. The forming bruises on her face hurt.
She seethes at the sight of Chat Noir beside the villain, looking at her hungrily. Like a prey in front of a predator.
But Marinette isn't willing to be prey. She can't.
Smirking at her weak form is Hawkmoth, otherwise known as Shadow Moth. The look in his eyes zeroes into the miraculous in her ears. The other half of the Cat Miraculous.
"We finally meet Ladybug. Ah, no. Nice to meet you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the current holder of the Ladybug Miraculous and the Guardian of the box."
She scowls at them.
"I think it's time to let everything go now. There's nothing for you to do, you failed."
"Just let me be
Who I am
It's what you really need to understand
And I hope so hard for the pain to go away"
On one sunny day, the skies suddenly clouded with dark clouds floating above them.
Every Parisian in the vicinity was startled.
Sabine was looking at the skies, wondering if a heavy storm is coming. She looks at her husband before pointing towards the upper floor. Tom understood and nodded.
Sabine climbed her way to her daughter's room.
"Marinette?"
She knocked and called her multiple times before opening it and was welcomed with the most horrific view.
Everything inside was destroyed.
She runs back to the bakery and informed her husband. Where was her daughter?!
"Uhm, Babe? Is it going to rain or what?" Alya asks.
Gathering in the park was a fruitful idea before the darkening happened.
The class wonders what was going on. Lila was even having fun getting the sole attention of everyone.
The lone figure on the Eiffel tower stares beneath the scrambling city.
The kwamis behind shuffled anxiously, even the god of destruction looks warily.
A glowing symbol pulses on her palm. The symbol she despises. The symbol that ruined her life. The previous mother box was now etched into the veins of her body. Pulsing, begging to be let out, but she keeps it chained inside. Wearing nothing of the artifacts only the etched symbol.
Her eyes were dull. No emotions pass through it.
"Marinette?" Tikki carefully calls.
How long has she endured? How long did she dream for all of it to end? And now, how can she release everything inside her?
She sighs slowly. 'Let it begin.'
The wind howls loudly. A silent scream is carried to the ends of the world. She stares coldly at everything, before turning away, a silent order for the kwamis to follow. The order of their Guardian.
As they say, the eyes are the windows to the soul, and thus the figure of someone trapped behind bars is reflected in her eyes.
The gleaming purple shade of her eyes caged the screaming figure filled with emotions inside her.
"And it's torturing me
But I can't break free
So I cry and cry but just won't get it out
The silent scream
My silent scream"