Chapter Text
Brian rolled over and stretched his arms above his head. Face down he peeked from under his arm as he lay diagonally across both his and Justin’s sides of the bed. The six months before he and Justin had reconnected had been too long sleeping alone. Not that they hadn’t often slept apart when they’d been based in different cities but they had never gone that long. And no matter how long it had taken him to admit it, even to himself, that side of the bed had become Justin’s almost from the very beginning. That side was empty now and that was thwarting his plan for a morning in bed. On the upside the loft was fragranced with the smell of strong, rich coffee.
Cynthia had cleared his schedule for Friday, not only was it Pride weekend but it was unlikely he’d get any work done since his office was in route to their new headquarters, even though the move was under two miles across the Monongahela. Ideally in that part of his brain that constantly updated remembered details about the first time he’d lived through June of ’01 Brian wondered who, if anyone, at Vanguard would be chasing the ill-fated ‘Pool Cooler’ campaign. Somehow he couldn’t see young Kip having the balls to target market partying fags for the homophobic good ‘ol boy that owned the company.
Brian rolled over, shut off his alarm as the snooze rang again. Justin was currently padding around the loft, barefoot with those weird gray jersey pants that were in danger of slipping over his hips and tripping him when they puddled around his feet. Why he was risking life and limb and not just naked was beyond Brian’s pre-caffeinated powers of deduction. It was probably some strange WASP inhibition about being naked while on the phone with Daphne. Because, yes, that was how Justin’s mind worked.
On Justin’s next circuit from kitchen to office to bedroom he delivered a sweet, hot cup of the elixir of life. Stopping briefly to ogle, or commit to his artistic memory the shape and tonal hues of Brian’s ass Justin continued his conversation and as Brian’s brain came to life he pondered the oddities of his lover. It was six in the morning, he had just graduated and from Justin’s side of the phone conversation not one of his little teenaged crew was doing what normal teenagers like Gus had done at the start of summer and sleeping in.
“Not the diner,” Justin was saying, “I should be getting paid for how much time I spend there. What about ‘Monte Cello’s’?” He paused and said, “What’s wrong with pizza? They have subs and salads, too,” He listened again, “You do remember that half of us are guys, right?” Justin swung back to the kitchen, took a sip from his own cup on the counter, frowned and then added a bit more hot coffee to the cup, and sipped again. “It’s as wheelchair accessible as the diner, and we can lift him. Okay, but not before one.” Justin looked over met Brian’s eyes and rolled his own and made a talky motion with the hand not holding his phone. “Because I haven’t had breakfast, and we’re meeting the rest of Brian’s wingmen at the diner, hence not wanting to be there all damn day.” Justin listened for a bit and then said, “Okay. Love ya, bye.”
“Wheelchair?” Brian mumbled into his cup.
Justin crossed, came up the steps and sat beside him on the bed and said, “Niles, first time out without parents. I suggested handicap accessible flick at Waterworks, but apparently that’s antisocial. We’re having lunch and grilling him – probably about Lena - or something.”
“Wingmen?” Brian held out his cup for a refill.”
Justin took the cup and got up to head to the coffee machine, raising his voice unnecessarily because now he was actually talking to Brian and not Daphne he said, “According to someone’s best friend, ‘we always have breakfast together to launch Pride weekend’? I assume he’s pulling the same nostalgia detail with Em and Ted.”
“I think Dave is keeping Hank out of the chaos and Mikey’s feeling left out,” Brian said.
Justin said, “Left out of what? It’s not like he’ll be marching for marriage equality – someone might see him.”
“You never know. Now that he’s in management though I can’t imagine him letting anyone see him march. He never made any money as his own boss but he was less…” Brian said.
Justin said, “Closeted? That’s a pretty personal decision.”
“No pushing him off the Kinney cliff, I get it. I think he was happier living out,” Brian said.
Justin said, “He seems happy with Dave, he always wanted to be… normal.”
“What? What does that mean?” Brian asked, sitting up and making grabby hand for Justin to hurry with his refill.
Justin complied and handed off the mug, sat back down and said, “if not for his love of cock, and being able to whine about being an oppressed minority, Michael would be much happier straight.”
“Yeah, if he were a woman; he’d be the perfect nagging housewife. But this isn’t a 1950’s family show its… well, it’s the new millennium at least. Yes Mikey would love to have a big house in the suburbs and a husband home every night for dinner and a couple kids to embarrass as he passed on Debbie’s legacy of no brain-to-mouth filter but that whole TV fantasy never existed. The ‘happy families’ of that era had everything we have now, spousal abuse, child abuse, infidelity, drugs, alcohol, crime, and a hell of a lot less resources or information to help them deal with it,” Brian said.
“Yes, but now that he has the closest thing to that,” Justin said, “The doctor, the nice house, the kid, now Michael realizes that all those things he spent years wanting aren’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
“Not years. This isn’t that Michael. This Michael is thirty. He’s still figuring things out. He’s just figuring it all out in a different order this time,” Brian said.
Justin said, “Last time it wasn’t until after he lost Ben that he moved back to the district; in walking distance from his store. I think he’s getting restless. Would it be crass to put money on him and Dave splitting before Hank heads home?”
“While crass and I are old friends, I’m not betting on Mikey’s happiness,” Brian said
Justin said, “You’re not feeling guilty, about Michael and Ben? If they get together they get together, you can’t force it. At the moment they’re both in relationships they chose. I like Wade, he and Ben have more in common than just sex.”
“Working out?” Brian drawled.
Justin said, “Their both voracious readers, very interested in nutrition and cooking, and Wade, as a former cop, has a lot of horror stories about bikes in traffic and has been dragging Ben to the rails to trails tracks and off the city streets.”
“Didn’t Ben try to get Michael to do that whole ‘Great Allegheny Passage’ trip back when it was completed?” Brian asked.
Justin said, “Didn’t they go?”
“I don’t think so, something came up,” Brian said finally standing and scratching.
Justin snorted and said, “That’s attractive. Come on, shower, it’ll wake you up. Then after we meet your posse, we’ll hit the gym – at the club not the meat market. And then I have lunch and you are babysitting your son.”
“I am? Here? Or there?” Brian asked.
Justin said, “Anywhere you want, you could take him somewhere.”
“He’s seven months old, where are we going to go, a bar?” Brian said.
“The zoo, the aviary -” Justin started
Brian cut in, “unsanitary, disease ridden.”
“The museum, the history center” Justin continued
Brian said, “He can’t read and has no interest in anything he can’t put in his mouth.”
“The park, Chucky Cheese,” Justin added as he turned the water on in the shower and adjusted the temperature.
Brian said, “Other children are biological weapons that mutate viruses and pass them around like queers at a white party.”
“Or you could come back here and ogle James Dean together,” Justin said, backing Brian into the shower.
“Sadly, my only son is straight,” Brian said.
“Well, you got another in the oven, the odds are getting better,” Justin said.
Brian sighed and shook his head with an overly dramatic look of sorrow, and said “It’s Mel; It’ll probably be a girl and a lesbian at that. I’m never having a kid I can pass on all my crazy good pick up moves on to. It’s sad that this legacy has to die with me.”
“Fortunately you passed them all on to me,” Justin said with a grin before dropping his pants and stepping into the shower.
Ted waited for the largest booth to be bussed. Working for both TKVC and Kinnetik let him pretty much dictate his own schedule except for meetings with Brian so when Michael had called the day before he agreed to get there and save a booth. With Pride crowding the street even on a weekday it wasn’t like the routine mornings at the diner. Although come to think of it mornings at the diner weren’t routine anymore.
When Justin had been in school Brian was usually in the office well before nine in the morning. Since Michael had moved in with Dave he rarely fought the work rush to come downtown just to have to go back out to the Big-Q. Emmett had his own little nest and with all the hours he’d been putting in on his business was just too rushed to come to breakfast, or when he was free preferred to linger in bed with his boyfriend.
Speaking of the Belle of Liberty Avenue, Ted watched Emmett sashay into the diner with his hand on the crook of HD’s arm. Emmett greeted him with open arms and a kiss on the cheek, fussing at him and asking if he were losing weight and just in general acting like what Ted’s grandmother used to call ‘a hen with one chick’. HD glared at a trio of twinks who had been about to slide into the freshly bussed booth and sent them scurrying, and probably soiling their underwear.
Emmett was going on and on about how swamped he was with both work and his own Pride preparations, talking of waxings and manicures and stopping to make sure Godiva was set for their ride in the parade.
“No, Kevin?” HD asked, saying his first words since they arrived
Ted sometimes wondered if he should tell them Kevin was a friend and okay they had sex but it wasn’t a storybook romance or anything. But Kevin was convenient and since everyone else seemed to be pairing up why not keep him around until someone better showed. Instead he said, “Working.”
Emmett looked around and said, “Is there enough room? Maybe we should have gone to Ritter’s.”
“Michael didn’t say if Dave would make it. His office has to be open sometime. Four might be too many but given how close Brian and Justin will likely end up sitting, three should be doable,” Ted said.
Debbie came up with a pot of coffee and said, “Three should be doable? Big plans for Pride there Ted?”
Ted gave her a forced smile and saw HD give Emmett a long suffering look, maybe it wasn’t just their schedules that kept them from coming to the diner. It could be they were all getting a little old to be treated like randy club boys, at least for a weekday breakfast. What he said was, “We were just wondering how many more could fit in the booth comfortably. The limited seating makes larger groups tough, might have to start heading somewhere we can shove some tables together.”
Before Debbie could reply Justin and Brian came through the door. Brian wasn’t in his customary suit, just jeans and a tight burgundy tee shirt that really showed off the body that Justin’s art work had showcased the other night at the gallery. Ted watched as Brian, with his arm slung across Justin’s shoulders; murmured something in his ear that made Justin grin even wider. Ted had almost started poking fun at Brian going soft when he’d started calling Justin ‘Sunshine’ practically from the moment they met. It seemed so unlike him, so sentimental. But when Justin smiled like that it really did light up a room.
“Taking a day off?” Debbie asked.
Brian said, as first Justin and then he slid into the half circle booth, “My office is being moved and Cynthia doesn’t want me underfoot. Where’s Mikey? If I can drag myself away from a long slow fuck, he can get his ass here on time from suburbia.”
“Pride isn’t a national holiday, he’s coming to town with the flow of traffic give him time,” Justin said, “Er, would it be rude to order I’m starving.”
They all ordered and Deb brought coffee all around.
While they waited Emmett detailed his plans for the parade. The float he was riding on was sponsored by Babylon, lined with the club dancers, the speakers would blast karaoke style back up music but it would be up to Emmett and HD to remember the words without the screen’s help. Godiva would be enthroned on a wingback chair to waive at the public as they traversed the parade route while Em and HD playing guitar cycled through three songs from the stage area at the front. Michael arrived about halfway through the description and slid in next to Brian and when Emmett finished he asked HD, “Aren’t you worried? About riding on the float? Everyone’s going to see you?”
HD looked at Emmett and Ted could swear he was asking permission to pick Michael up and throw him out of the booth. Not receiving any sign from Emmett that that would be okay, HD said, “Worried about what? I played in a band; to crowds of drunks at county fairs and in the type of shithole clubs where the chicken wired stretched around the bandstand was to keep the beer bottles thrown at the band from damaging the equipment. You’re nervous about the weirdest things.”
As a worrier himself Ted understood what Michael was asking but had never had the impression that HD was closeted or ever had been really. Brian smirked and said, “Mikey’s not out. He lives in fear that someone he works with, besides Tracey, will spot him in a shot of the parade on TV.”
“Being out is a personal decision, Brian,” Justin said.
At the same time Michael said, “You wouldn’t understand.”
“I think we all understand,” HD said in that deep voice that carried even when he was speaking softly. “Every gay man or woman, or bi, or transgendered has to make decisions about where they work, who they associate with, even the family they stay in touch with. Tradeoffs are made, what you’re willing to tolerate in the form of prejudices, versus the desire or need to continue a relationship.”
“I do it with my dad,” Justin chimed in, “part of me wants to not forgive him. He tossed me out - be straight and have a home or get out. Do I put up with his ignorance and assumptions to maintain a relationship and keep peace in the family? It’s not an easy question and its one that’s made with pretty much everyone in my life. Are they worth it? Is putting up with the negative aspects of the relationship outweighed by the positive?”
“I never thought I’d have my brother back in my life,” Emmett said softly. “I’d pretty much written off everyone in my family except Aunt Lula. But, going back home, I got to see them with new eyes. Mama will probably never come around but I can’t say any of my brothers and sisters were as bad as I remembered them - God love him, even Burnett. I guess we’ve all grown up some, or I just don’t care the way I used to.”
Debbie’s voice cut in and asked, “Does this mean you’re avoiding the parade again? Michael, Pride is a time of celebration. I raised you to be proud of who you are. I don’t like the idea that that place you work makes you ashamed of yourself.”
“You do have marketable experience,” Justin said, “maybe contact a placement agency and see if there’s a more gay friendly place looking for a store manager. Who knows you might find a better company to work for and get a pay raise.”
“Ikea has a good reputation,” Ted said.
Emmett added, “So do Macy’s, Target and Sears. It certainly can’t hurt to apply. I hate to see you so unhappy, Honey.”
“Or you could go back to school,” HD said and when he saw they were all looking at him he said, “what; retail has crap hours – seven days a week, extended hours over the holidays. Jake worked at a salon in the mall, it sucked.”
Mel left Kal getting Gus changed and ready for Brian to pick him up. She had stopped home over lunch, while thanking God she worked for a progressive firm that was so supportive of her same sex partnership. The office rumor mill had brought the news of Lindsay’s mugging and injuries to one of the senior partners. Ms. Kurshira had stopped in Mel’s office personally to let her know that if she needed time off it would be covered under family medical leave even though Pennsylvania didn’t have domestic partnerships covered under that yet. And, , if not for Kal and Brian, she would have had to use it. She wasn’t using it however, Lindsay was fine by herself and Brian was taking Gus so Kal could go to class. It wouldn’t be fair to her clients to take time off just to watch Lindsay sleep.
Mel silently opened the door a crack to make sure Lindsay was well. She was out, dead to the world and snoring, although she would deny the fact she snored when she was overtired. Lindsay had been up and down most of the night with her wrist. She was not taking the pain medication as prescribed despite both the ER doctor and the pharmacist assuring her it would not harm her baby. She put if off until she was gray from lack of sleep and pain. And then reluctantly take half a pill. That half pill combined with lack of sleep dropped her like a bad spy film.
Hearing Brian downstairs, Mel shut the door and went down. He looked relaxed and happy as the lifted Gus over his head and making the boy squeal with delight. Kal had Gus’ bags packed and nodded to her before heading out to catch his bus for class.
“How’s she doing?” Brian asked.
Mel said, “Dead to the world. The pain keeps her awake until she gives in and crashes. What are you boys doing today?”
“I’m thinking ‘Giant’ and Tai food,” Brian said.
Mel snorted and said, “as long as you’re changing his diapers after that.”
While she carried the bags to Brian’s car as he carried the car seat with Gus, they chatted briefly. She added once Gus was in the back seat, “Thanks for taking him, I have a lot to do this afternoon and there’s no way Lindsay could manage.”
“No problem,” Brian said, “I was off anyway, and if I get called in, he can come with me. He’s a good kid.”
They exchanged one of those awkward looks that said, ‘Oh God, we’re parents’ before parting ways.
“Oh, look, Ethan Darling’s here,” Monica said. She’d been updating Justin on her first art class at the community college as they walked up from the parking garage. “I thought we made him all uncomfortable.”
“Sep and I think he has a thing for Mike,” Brittney put in.
Justin just shook his head as Daphne said, “Mike would eat him alive. I don’t see him putting up with the overdone romanticism. Mike needs someone who’s sincere.”
“And female,” Justin said only to be ignored by the girls.
“The inner stuff is probably more important that the outer stuff,” Monica said.
Brittney said, “And hot, he needs someone way hotter than Ethan, regardless of the gender. Mike’s going into finance; I don’t see him putting up with the whole starving musician lifestyle Ethan embraces either. Mike needs someone who looks good and knows how to have fun. Like me; but not me because that would be weird, and I’m thinking of training up Ian, who’s out of school and has a good job.”
“I think you just have to learn to stomach the overdone romanticism and weird pretentious poverty if you major in the arts,” Monica said with a sigh.
Brittney said, “No way. Shelley’s an artist and she’s like an executive as well. She has a kicking wardrobe, a hot boyfriend and her own bachelor pad in the city. I’m going to have all that and I’m going to travel all the time. I’ll practically live in hotels and know all the best spas.”
They entered Monte Cello’s downtown in its odd round cornered triangular shaped building, a door on either of the walls that made the point with the counter on the large side of the triangle. There were a few tables. The restaurant did most of its business in take out so didn’t have much in the way of atmosphere. The girls started moving chairs and left Justin and Ethan to shift the heavier tables.
When Paul, Tracy and Mike showed up with Niles, the boys lifted his chair up and over the small stoop into the restaurant. And they were all seated and debating what to order before heading to the counter. Once the food arrived the girls tried to subtly pry about Niles and Lena while Mike worked at deflecting from the subject. He steered it to the orientation seminar at Ohio State that Paul had attended and to the summer program Tracy would be starting. As he started to ask Monica about her classes at CCAC, September put her fork noisily down and said, “Would you let Niles talk?”
“Sorry,” Mike said, with an overdone sheepish look and asked, “Niles, will you be attending any orientation for Georgetown? And do they think your PT will delay your start date?”
“I can actually continue PT on campus and I’ll have wheelchair accessible housing, at least for freshman year. They have a special orientation later in the summer for students with special needs,” Niles said calmly.
It was obvious all the guys, except Ethan, were on board with keeping the Niles/Lena relationship under wraps. But the girls hadn’t been there when Niles had put the subject firmly off-limits at Sep and Tracy’s grad party. So Daphne said, “Niles we were just wondering about Mrs. Orr, she’s been-”
“Ms. Carter,” Justin, Paul and Mike said together.
Justin added, “Lena’s been going through a divorce. I’m sure she’s had her fill of unsolicited advice and unwelcome speculation on what happened. It might be nice, if as her friends we just wait to see what she’s comfortable sharing about her private life.”
Daphne blinked slowly. Never let it be said she wasn’t brilliant because she smiled and said, “You know Georgetown has a great medical school. I bet the physical therapy there will be excellent.”
The talk turned to Pride and everyone talking about meeting up before the parade. Sep was wanted to film Emmett and HD so was enlisting Mike and Justin while disparaging Ethan’s shaky hand and unreliability in showing up as if he wasn’t sitting right next to her. Halfway through arranging where to meet to exchange equipment and where the group should watch from and if someone should go early to block off a prime location Sep’s phone rang.
She glanced at it and took the call. Justin didn’t think anything of it until she stood and her hand lifted as if of its own volition and hovered just in front of her mouth as if trying to hold in words. Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears and she whispered, “What can I do? Give me something to do.”
Justin got up and circled around; Ethan frowned when Justin touched her shoulder gently as September listened to the caller. She then said, “Justin’s here. We can, we can take care of letting people know. Do you need help with anything?” She paused and said, “Okay. Call me for anything okay?”
When she ended the call she looked at Justin, refusing to blink because he could see if she did tears would fall. She turned to the rest of them and said, “We lost Godiva.”
“Oh, Sweetie. He was like a mom to Emmett. I know you liked him because he didn’t set off all your mom issues,” Tracy said as she rose and hugged September.
Daphne had no shame about tears but looked angry when she said, “what’s the use of having antivirals if we can’t get ahead of this disease.”
“HD’s with Emmett,” September said to Justin as Tracy released her and Ethan hovered ineffectually, “I told him you and I would take care of letting people know.”
Justin nodded and said, “Yeah, Brian has Gus today, I can call him. Do they need anything? Should I make arrangements?”
“I think they’re just getting their heads around it. Emmett has a church, like one he goes to regularly. I don’t know… they hadn’t got that far. Marc’s in town but I don’t know if he’d actually be any help in this situation. I’ll call Aunt Maureen, you call Brian,” Sep said.
“I’ll call Mr. Schmitt,” Brittany said, pulling out her phone.
Justin shot Brittany an incredulous look as Monica said, “I’ll call Hunter, he might know but he should be in the loop too.”
After he got off of the phone with Brian, Justin called Shelley at work, since he didn’t have Jud’s number and figured someone should tell Emmett’s brother.
Once September finished her call they all started splitting up. Monica had arranged to meet Hunter at the diner and Brittney wanted to go as well so Daphne drove them over, despite Justin having been there that morning. As the younger girls headed in Justin nodded over toward Woody’s, since Hunter had told the Mon that Vic was having a drink with a friend when she called, and he and Daphne said they would catch up.
Brian and Gus had spent most of their time playing rather than watching a movie. It was weird that only a few months, or weeks ago really, Gus could be parked in his car seat most of the time and not fuss at all. Now Gus wanted to move. He wanted to see, touch and taste everything. And he could move, he army crawled around the hardwood and just watching it made Brian wince. Gus seemed oblivious, his little hands and knees scooching forward at a rapid pace. Justin had done something with all the outlets and lower cabinets but Brian had carried Gus around the loft before putting him down to make sure they hadn’t left anything out that could be dangerous.
They played pretty much constantly during his visits now. At this age play pretty much consisted of stacking things and hitting things and squealing a lot. Brian had a padded mat he kept rolled up around some of Gus’ favorite toys, at least the ones he kept at the loft. The only moment he’d take his attention off him was when Justin had called and even then he kept Gus corralled between his legs.
Brian dialed Lindsay. She answered it with, “Is everything alright?” Which was understandable, he’d never called while he had Gus.
“Gus is fine. Godiva died,” Brian said, seeing no reason to ease into it. “Emmett’s taking care of it, or maybe HD because Em’s probably a mess. No details yet on any memorial, but knowing Em there will be something incredibly sentimental and tear-jerking.”
“Oh Brian,” Lindsay said, sounding as if she might cry herself, which was ridiculous, it was like weeping over some celebrity because Godiva and Lindsay hadn’t run in the same crowd even before Godiva got sick.
Brian said, “Do not get moist. How’s the wrist? Are you getting any sleep with that thing?”
“All I do is sleep, that’s why I missed you when you picked up Gus. The doctor swore to me what he has me on won’t harm the baby but I have a call into my OBGYN, something that knocks me out like that has to be dangerous,” Lindsay said. “What have you boys been up to?”
Gus chose that moment to let out a happy squeal and Brian winced and said, “livin’ it up; partying hard.”
Lindsay laughed; on anyone else Brian would have called it a snort. She said, “Mr. Big Shot Executive, on the floor covered in drool, if your clients could see you now.”
“My knees hurt just watching him crawl on the hardwood, the kid is as tough as nails,” Brian said.
Lindsay said, “He is going to go straight from standing to running any day now.”
“Wait ‘til there’s three of them,” Brian said.
Lindsay was quiet. The frosty quiet that said it was still a subject she didn’t want to discuss, not with Brian. But it was a subject she’d been avoiding with Mel too, and how odd was it that Mel talked to him about this stuff so he said, “come on, Lindz. I’ve known since the STD scare. You’d be popping the pain meds like TicTacs if you weren’t sure you were going to keep it.”
“I just,” Lindsay said, “I don’t… I don’t want this baby to be treated differently. The other two were planned, wanted. But, he or she, I don’t want this hanging over them, unspoken but just there.”
“Lindsay, I wouldn’t. Mel wouldn’t. I don’t know her as well as you but you know she would never stand for a child to be blamed in any way for the circumstances of their conception.” He paused and then asked, “You planning to tell your fat hairy artist that he knocked you up?”
“Brian!” she said.
“Seriously Lindz, I know you want to pretend it never happened. But that’s his kid. You might want him out of your life, but one, he should be given the chance to do the right thing, which is at the very least to pony up the financial support. And before you go all noble remember you will have three kids in college at the same time,” Brian said. “Tuitions will likely have tripled or more by that time. And the kid deserves to know if the old man shuns him. When he or she hits the angry teen years you do not want to be the villain, keeping him or her away from a loving doting father who will have the high ground if you never told him.”
“Mel thinks I should tell him too,” Lindsay said.
Brian asked, “You two talk this over with Lorraine?”
“She actually thinks that the three of us should come in for a session regarding how our lives will be changed with the new babies,” Lindsay said.
Brian let his head fall back and hit the seat of the couch he was sitting against, which was not nearly as satisfying as banging it against a wall but the only thing in reach.
Woody’s at lunch time wasn’t the same as in the evenings. And it was so strange that he’d never been here with this Daphne, not having needed a high school girl to play wingman for him this time. The crowd was much older and there was hardly any cruising going on. Justin nodded to the daytime bartender, who Brian had said used to be the night time bartender when he’d first been old enough to sneak in.
“Vic?” Justin said. He hated to interrupt; Vic and Lucky were having a drink and God he hadn’t realized Vic knew Lucky until his funeral but it made sense given just when Vic would have been scoping out Pittsburgh’s gay scene for the first time. Justin hadn’t heard about man known as the Pope of Gay Pittsburgh until he’d been part of a historical project on the gay culture of Pittsburgh.
Vic turned from his conversation and said, “Justin? “
“I wish it was better news,” Justin said. “But we lost Godiva.”
“Ah, hell,” Lucky said.
Vic said, “But, I was just there this morning.”
“Yeah, and Emmett was there yesterday but, well,” Justin said. “Emmett and HD are going to arrange something. We should know the details by tomorrow, it’ll probably be on Sunday.”
“I’ll be there, just let me know,” Vic said.
Vic introduced Lucky to Justin and Daphne. Vic sounded pretty proud of them when he talked about their fundraising efforts for Liberty House and mentioned them founding a non-profit to help the rent boys.
Lucky shook his head and said, “It’s good to see young people so involved in our community.”
Vic then mentioned Justin was Brian’s partner. Apparently Lucky knew Brian well and just shook his head at the thought of Brian being all grown up and settled down. Justin told Vic that Brian was home with Gus if he wanted to talk to him and said the he and Daphne were going to stop by the diner and make sure Debbie knew. As he turned to leave he heard Lucky ask Vic to let him know the time and place since he was still in contact with a lot of Godiva’s old friends; at least the ones who hadn’t moved during the exodus of the eighties.
Emmett found himself clutching the wig Godiva was going to wear for the parade. It was blonde and a more conservative cut. It kind of reminded him of Justin’s mother’s hair. He should have seen it as a sign. The fact that Godiva had been giving up his femme fatal falls or an elaborate up do. The sorting through his storage space, passing on his dresses to Emmett’s care, even taking time to get to know HD regardless of the fact HD had zero interest in the drag culture all were signs of getting his house in order. Godiva had gotten the sign and not told him.
“Honey?” HD said. He had a glass in his hand. Sweet tea, filled with ice cubes, he must have made it down in the kitchen because it was a real glass and tasted fresh brewed. Emmett had asked for a few minutes but glancing at the clock it had been almost forty so it wasn’t any wonder HD was back to check on him.
After sipping his tea Emmett still didn’t have words and felt HD sink down next to him on the now empty bed. He put his arm around Emmett and pressed his lips to his temple. It felt so good to just lean on him for a moment. Emmett remembered being all of nineteen and new to the city, how welcome Godiva had felt when he took him under his wing, this felt a bit like that. The world wasn’t quite as large and cold and empty when you had someone who would shelter you a bit. Give you a space to sit and sigh and regroup yourself to face what was next.
“I called New Bethel Baptist, Reverend Green said they were planning to do something for Pride on Sunday, and will do a memorial service for Godiva at the end of service,” HD said. “Talked to the crematorium as well, they can have the urn ready by then, got a spot in Arsenal Cemetery right up the street we can walk from the church for the interment. You want to sing something at the cemetery? Godiva loved ‘I’ll Fly Away’. Those that we don’t call between now and then can be told after the parade, we can make an announcement then.”
“Do you think?” Emmett stopped and then said, “I don’t know if I can face the parade without Godiva.”
He felt HD tighten his hold on him and then HD said, “You started to ask what I think, so I’ll tell you. This is the last thing you and Godiva worked on together. I think you should see it through. Use this as a way to let everyone know just what we’ve lost. Your grief is going to go on, and it should, you’ve lost family here, but you’ll never be able to go back and finish this if you don’t do it now. For you and for Godiva – you know I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
Emmett turned his face into Huxley’s shoulder and felt the tears start again.
Daphne and Justin entered the diner. Monica, Brittney and Hunter were at a booth. Justin noticed Debbie wasn’t in sight as he and Daph slid into the side with just Brittney with their backs to the door. The lunch rush was over and the dinner crowd would be in until after five. Kiki was the only one working the floor and there were only two people at the counter, and one other booth with customers. Justin ordered ice tea and a half dozen lemon squares because without Deb there they couldn’t take up a table and order nothing.
Shortly after sitting down the four of them who had cell phones pulled them out and read the same mass text from September. It listed the time of the service on Sunday, the church’s name and location and details on the interment. Almost immediately Brian replied and offered Kinnetik’s roof deck for the reception after the funeral. Justin requested estimated attendance numbers and offered to place an order at the Greek bakery in the South Side for cakes. Brittney texted she’d pickup anything they wanted from ‘Moio’s’ and Niles offered some of the coffee services used at his father’s car dealerships. Paul replied for him and Mike offering to go over early Sunday morning and set up any tables and chairs. An unnamed number, which must have been Marc, said he could meet them there, once they had the address with HD’s truck and rented folding chairs and tables as soon as someone knew how many they’d need. Ted sent that Cynthia was giving him keys to the building and he could meet them there Sunday morning and let them in. HD said Emmett was estimating one hundred people, and suggested they prepare for two hundred since they would be announcing it at both the parade and the church service, he said he would reimburse them for any expenses.
Justin and Brittney immediately called 411 and got put through to the various bakeries. Since it was such a large order Justin was able to arrange delivery of the specialty cakes to Kinnetik’s for Sunday morning while the guys would be setting up. Brittney arranged a Sunday morning pick up for cookie trays and Daphne offered to drive and pick them up, with the guys helping them unload they should all still be able to make the service on time.
Once all the texts stopped flying Hunter borrowed Monica’s phone and called home and gave all the details to Debbie. Debbie apparently had a split shift and would be back again for the dinner rush. Justin slipped back over to Woody’s and passed on the times and places to Vic and Lucky before rejoining his friends. Most of the girls were more sad for Emmett than mourning Godiva. Sep had been the only one to spend time with Godiva. Hunter, despite volunteering with Vic just didn’t hang out with old people, or people he perceived as old. It was however the first experience he’s had with a community rallying around someone who was grieving. His own father had never been a presence in his life; he didn’t know if that was by choice or if his mother had just never told the man she conceived. Both of his mother’s parents, to the best of his knowledge had died before he was born and the men who came in and out of her life were not likely to be mourned if they died. So their conversation turned to grief and social customs and life and death in general. They were still there, swilling coffee or in Justin’s case milkshakes when Debbie finally bustled in for her dinner shift, causing Justin to realize just how long they’d been hanging out and to excuse himself and walk back to the loft.
It was empty when he got there. Brian must have been returning Gus so Justin crawled into bed and napped. When he woke a couple hours later, Brian was a warm weight against him. Justin lifted his head to look around and then back at Brian, the summer sun was still out and the louvers were open so he could clearly see every muscle as they play under the taut young skin. Brian hadn’t lived long enough for the ravages of age to make themselves known on his body but there was a world of difference between thirty and forty five. Justin started to drag his fingertips over the clean lines that his eyes had been drinking in. Brian demonstrated he had been awake by snaking out an arm and rolling Justin on top of him.
“Your first Pride hasn’t been very festive – again,” Brian said.
Justin shrugged and said, “Still, better than the first-first. You’re here, I’m here, I’m able to walk down the street without panic attacks and Michael isn’t popping in randomly to both nag you to change and whine because you’re changing.”
Brian snorted, rolled them again, nearly off the bed so he was looking down at Justin. He had a gleam of mischief in his eyes that took Justin back to the first, first time and spoke of handstands and juggling. It had been that look that gave him hope in the beginning, that this cool controlled sex shark wasn’t completely walled off, that there was room in his life for a love-struck kid. This session was filled with laughter, some tickling and more than a bit of roughhousing. It spoke more of boys wrestling for a remote than any of the unrealistically steamy sex scenes in the stories Daphne refused to admit that September had gotten her to read.
By the time they finished, showered and headed out to Babylon it was after midnight. The place was packed and if not for Brian’s superpowers they would never have gotten in. There was no sign of Michael and Dave, surprisingly because Mon, Britt and Hunter said they were going over for pizza and a game night so that Hank’s dad could celebrate Pride and Michael had confirmed that morning he was planning to be at Babylon that night. They ran into Kevin and Ted who said Michael had been there with Dave earlier and had already left. After they danced some and separated briefly, obviously crossing signals somewhere because Brian showed up with Luis and Justin with James. The three-way they planned was upgraded to a four-way and everyone was happier for it.
When James and Luis left the loft, Justin heard them making plans to go get something to eat together. Brian was stripping the bed shaking his head at Justin’s matchmaking attempts. Justin helped remake it before checking his alarm for the parade in them morning. As far as they knew, Mel wasn’t planning on riding and since Lindsay, with her wrist, wouldn’t be on the back of the bike, neither expected to have Gus handed off to them but you never knew. Even with Kal they saw a lot more of the little guy than before. Mel and Lindz had been planning to march for marriage equality but with the pain meds and being pregnant, marching in the humid heat might not be on the agenda for either of them.
Sliding between the crisp, clean sheets into his lover’s arms Justin’s mind was racing. He couldn’t shake how different it all was, and yet how very much the same. Brian had said the girls had come to an agreement on the house, and of course chose the one in Shadyside. Which was good, Justin was leaning toward Shadyside Academy for the kids and it was close, all his research showed it was the best choice not only academically but the atmosphere and mission statement of the school was in alignment with what he expected the girls would want. It was pricier than St. James but offered better extracurricular activities and duel enrollment programs with CMU, Pitt and Duquesne at the high school level. Brian had suggested getting the girls settled into the house before tackling the hurdle of private school; or perhaps even waiting for Gus’ first birthday. Maybe he’d put together a PowerPoint presentation; with a soft sigh Justin drifted off to sleep.