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“Hey, Shinobu.” Mitsuri calls, sitting on Shinobu’s bed.
Shinobu looks back from her desk, “Yes?”
“Are you down to fuck?”
Shinobu’s eyes widen and she spits out the tea she had just drank, “whaT!?”
“Down to fuck! Was I not clear enough?”
Shinobu stares at Mitsuri, her mouth open in surprise. She never expected for the Love hashira to be this direct.
After exactly two hours and thirty seven minutes, Shinobu finally snaps out of her shock, “sure.”
Mitsuri squeals in excitement, jumping up and down, “Meet me at the noodle shop later then!!”
“Wait what? What does noodles have to do with-” Shinobu barely even gets out before Mitsuri skips off, “Wait come back!!!”
MItsuri continues skipping off but then she trips over a tree root, causing her to tumble down the hill.
“MITSURI!” Shinobu runs after her.
Before Shinobu could even make it to her, MItsuri shouts back, “I’M OKAY!” and goes back to skipping like nothing ever happened. Mitsuri’s peaceful skipping only lasts for so long, she watches as Mitsuri falls into a giant lake.
Shinobu grimaces, “How did she not see that lake?”
----
Sitting at her desk and staring into thin air, Shinobu keeps a monotone face while breaking the silence, “Kanao.”
“Yes, Master?”
“What does ‘down to fuck’ mean?”
“I don’t know.” She looks down dejectedly, sad as she can’t help her sister.
Shinobu hums in response, she knew Kanao wouldn’t know what it meant but she was just making sure. She continues her blank stare, her mind still overwhelmingly confused. How does sex relate to noodles? Was Mitsuri into food during sex? Well she wouldn’t be surprised if she actually was, but still. You don’t introduce kinks into the first time having sex, usually . Unless… you do and Shinobu had an incredibly vanilla way of thinking about first times.
“NO, I CAN’T BE VANILLA.” She suddenly shouts, causing Kanao to jump.
“Master, why would you be an ice cream flavour?”
“Because of pain and suffering.”
Kanao nods.
Shinobu sighs, the only way to figure out what Mitsuri means is by going to the noodle shop herself. Shinobu abruptly stands up and makes her way to the door, her eyes catching on her reflection. She didn’t have to change for this.. right..?
She stares at the mirror once more. Okay, maybe she should change her underwear. Just in case.
---
After being sure of her appearance, she makes her way to the noodle shop. She’s never been to this noodle shop before, which was strange enough. She and Mitsuri always went to the same noodle shop each time they went out on a date. The noodle shop didn’t necessarily look out of place, it was just new to her.
She walked in vigilantly, looking around for her girlfriend or any possible threats.
“Shinobu!” Mitsuri waves from a table.
Shinobu relaxes at the sight of her girlfriend and sits across from her, “have you ordered yet?”
Mitsuri nods excitedly, “I ordered for both of us!”
“Thank you.”
The waiter drops off the bowls of udon, one for Shinobu and five for Mitsuri. The Love Hashira’s eyes seem to light up with hunger and she immediately digs in. Shinobu decides to eat as well, food makes good energy for uhh… who cares.
After finishing her bowl, Shinobu looks up at Mitsuri enjoying her 3rd bowl.
“Hey, Mitsuri…?”
Mitsuri hums in acknowledgement, still slurping her udon down.
“Do you know what ‘down to fuck’ means?”
Mitsuri hurridily swallows her food, “Yeah! It’s slang for ‘lets go eat noodles!’”
Shinobu sighs dejectedly, “oh..”
“Why are you asking?” She says, taking another bite of her food.
“Well the actual meaning is: ‘Let’s have sex.’”
Mitsuri’s eyes go wide and she starts choking on her food. She manages to get the food out of her throat, letting out a strained, “ what?! ”
Shinobu laughs at Mitsuri’s silly misunderstanding,”Yeah. Who told you it was ‘let’s get noodles?’”
Mitsuri sits in silence, drinking her water. She looks up, “...Uzui..’
A vein seemingly pops out of Shinobu’s forehead, her water glass shattering in her hand, “I should’ve known.”
Mitsuri giggles, “I love when you get like this. Though, I can never figure out what you’re so mad about…”
“I’m not mad,” Shinobu says, her smile strained.
“Oh, okay!” Mitsuri continues her eating.
Shinobu pulls out the notepad labelled Reasons I should murder Uzui Brutally that she carries with her everywhere. She flips to a new page writing: “Number 69 nice ‘Told Mitsuri down to fuck’ means ‘let’s eat noodles.’”
She shuts the notepad, looking up again. Shinobu smiles at Mitsuri finishing up her 5th bowl.
Shinobu brings her hand up, allowing her face to rest on it, “Hey, Mitsuri?”
Mitsuri looks up, her voice muffled by the udon, “yes?”
“Let’s have sex.”
Mitsuri pauses, almost like she is buffering, her face turning increasingly red. She fully processes what Shinobu said, spitting out her noodles to prevent another near cause of death due to food. “Wha-?”
Shinobu repeats it again, “Let’s have sex.”
“Yeah! Okay! Sure!” She stammers out, rushing to get out of her chair.
“Great. Let’s go!.” Shinobu stands up, putting all the money she currently has on the table. She pulls Mitsuri out by her hand and they make their way to the Butterfly Estate.
Shinobu gets what she wanted and Mitsuri got an extra bonus on top of udon.
----
“Hey, Uzui.” Shinobu walks out of the shadows of Uzui’s home.
Uzui’s face drops and he backs into the wall, “Kochou! Hey! Hi! What are you doing in my house… again?”
“A little birdy told me you gave Mitsuri more terrible advice.”
He waves his hands in front of him, desperately, “It was a joke!” A noticable sweat drop falls down his face, “It was supposed to have no harm! I thought she knew i was joking! Everyone knows what ‘down to fuck’ means!”
“Well she didn’t.” Shinobu’s knife glints in the shining moonlight.
Uzui lets out a high pitched scream, “I’M SORRY!!!”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it. But this knife will.” Shinobu slashes deeply across Uzui’s torso, she takes out the knife just to stab him in the chest again.
Uzui wails, calling for anyone to save him.
“Don’t bother, nobody will hear your cries.”
Blood splatters all around them, covering the walls and Shinobu in the deep red fluid.
Uzui’s corpse falls to the ground and Shinobu smiles at her work. Wiping her face clean of blood, she looks down in distaste, “Fucking obnoxious giraffe.”