Work Text:
It was safe to say that even in the midst of being angry that Finn had let her down (not to mention indignant; after people had died like that, how could Finn even think of leaving?) that Rose didn’t expect that Finn would actually start screaming in agony. It was the sort of sound where Rose didn’t even know how to react — normally, something like that didn’t happen when she tased someone. She didn’t even think that it would affect Finn that badly.
”Finn?” Her tone changed quickly. “Finn, I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Do you need me to get you to the medbay?”
” — Ren — ”
”He’s not here,” Rose said. “He’s gone. Just…Finn, focus on me. In for four, out for six. Okay?”
The fear seemed to have worn off just then as Finn looked into Rose’s eyes, realizing where he was.
“My back,” he said. “Ren…slashed me up it. I was trying to protect my friend…”
”Stang, Finn, that’s awful. Did you — do you need to go to medbay?”
”I got better.” At Rose’s curious stare, Finn said, “Well, I woke up so I guess it counts…"
”How do you feel?”
”Better. They’re just scars.”
Rose nodded. “Might be a good idea to check them anyway,” she said. “I mean, I might have accidentally opened them…”
”They’re lightsaber wounds. They cauterize automatically.” Finn said. “I guess that’s one comfort for me, really; I wasn’t sliced open.”
Rose nodded. “That’s good.” Then, “Finn, I must have really misjudged you. I’m sorry. I mean…"
”Was it your sister?”
”It’s part of it. I’d say the whole day was just a mess. We just lost so many people…”
“I know.” Finn said gently. "I can’t say I knew them well, but I’m sorry.”
***
Harter Kalonia clarified that Finn was fully healed. “He’s incredibly lucky, that man,” she said. "If things had gone worse, Ren could have damaged his spine…”
”I was marginally familiar with Ren before I deserted,” Finn said.
Rose shook her head. “It doesn’t matter,” she said. “You’re you and you did the right thing.”
”Yeah, I know.” A faint smile from Finn. Then, more seriously, “He probably thought he was being pragmatic. He really did. His main goal was just getting the lightsaber I had. A…family heirloom of his…”
Somehow, Rose thought, there was something Finn wasn’t telling her. Still, it didn’t matter. After all, it just sounded extremely petty. Even thinking of the crescent moon necklace she shared with Paige…well, even in her worst mood, Rose wouldn’t outright send someone into a coma over it. “Are you basically saying Ren…sent you into a coma over a family heirloom?” she said. “He’s even more pathetic than I thought.”
Kalonia did shift uncomfortably. At least Finn looked almost tempted to smile. That was good. He had a very pretty, endearing smile, Rose thought, and it struck her that her feelings towards Finn were definitely taking a turn towards crush territory.
Then again, of course he was handsome. That was just too obvious.
”Ren’s like that. Not to mention erratic. I remember one thing among the stormtroopers was ‘Be careful of Ren. Whether he spares you depends on how good a mood he’s in.’ And that was the extent of his mercy for them, him not killing them when he had the chance.” Finn exhaled softly. “Even I got that, really. My luck ran out at Starkiller, but I can still remember how I didn’t fire on those villagers. The First Order had this whole idea that anyone who wasn’t with them was against them. It was what eased their conscience about killing villagers pleading for their lives."
“I can believe that." That was how they likely justified subjugating Hays Minor. Her parents had talked about it. As her mother had said, “If they didn’t see everyone around them as a potential traitor and enemy, it would be less easy to do what they did. Punishment is not always justice, Rosie."
”But Ren…I don’t know if he was in a good mood that day or not, but he noticed something was off about me and…pretty much kept my secret. Even Phasma didn’t really know I hadn’t fired on purpose; for all she knew, my blaster had jammed. That…was the only bit of gentleness he showed me.”
”…so he’s blaming you for something he let happen,” Rose said bluntly. “That’s…that’s just sick.”
”Yeah, that sums it up.” There was more that Finn hadn’t told Rose. She had a feeling there was more. But she didn’t pry; she’d done enough damage already. “By the way, Rose, thank you. For…for talking me through it.”
Rose nodded. “It was the right thing to do,” she said. Then, "The girl you were looking for…”
”I was knocked out defending her. We — well, we got separated.”
”Did anyone tell you where she went?”
”No.”
Rose bit her lip. “I’m sorry, Finn.” Then, “Look, on the bright side, if she went to find Luke Skywalker, there’s no reason she can’t find us, can’t come back. She’ll find you, Finn.” Even with the painful twinge Rose couldn’t yet identify, it was the least she could do.
“Thank you.” Finn said.
Despite herself, Rose smiled a bit. “No problem. Glad I could help.”