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The common room was shaking with celebratory energy.
Sirius grinned, raising the bottle of firewhiskey in his right hand up to his lips and looking around the room at the chaos in the room. Gryffindor had won the Quidditch finals and were just moments away from winning the House Cup for the first time in years - which of course, meant that Sirius had corralled the other Marauders into causing as much mischief as possible in the name of celebration.
“Pads!” Sirius whipped his head around to the corner of the room where James was holding court with another bottle of firewhiskey and the others in their year lounging on cushions in front of the fireplace. “Get your sexy arse over here!”
Sirius loped across the room and jumped over the couch, landing with a large huff to the soundtrack of disgruntled murmurs of Marlene, Dorcas and Lily, sitting on the floor in front of him.
“What’s going on?” Sirius asked, making eye contact with James before glancing around everyone else sitting near the fireplace. Marlene and Dorcas were holding hands and whispering with Lily on the floor in front of him. Peter was sitting next to James on the couch adjacent, playing with Sybill’s fingers as she looked up at him from the floor. Unbidden, Sirius’ eyes dragged over to the window, stomach fluttering as he took in Mary leaning into Remus. Remus had a glassy sheen to his eyes that implied that he was already tipsy–a feat quite difficult for his werewolf metabolism. Sirius’ stomach fluttered harder as Remus turned slightly and made eye contact with him, smirking while still deep in conversation with Mary.
Over the past year, as James had begun spending more time with Lily while doing their “Head Boy” and “Head Girl” duties, and Peter was spending every available minute not in class necking with Sybill, Sirius and Remus had gotten closer. Between hours of studying both classwork and each other, Sirius had begun to notice things about Remus. Things such as how he pursed his lips when he was resisting the urge to answer every question in class so as to let other students shine. Or how his eyes sparkled whenever the other Marauders were planning a prank but couldn’t figure out the final piece to the puzzle - but of course, Remus had and was waiting for the right moment to present it. Or how he blushed so prettily whenever he noticed Sirius staring a bit too long at him, but that was neither here nor there. Sirius wanted nothing more than to make a move and kiss the blush right off of Moony’s red cheeks, but fear of messing up his friendship with Moony, precious Moony, was stopping him and making him second guess everything.
“Pads!” James leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees and ripping Sirius away from his thoughts. “We were just talking about that play today, the one where you slammed the Bludger towards Malfoy. That was bloody brilliant, it was!”
Sirius grinned wildly and visibly preened under the praise. “Thank you, thank you. Probably my best performance to date, I should think.” He fluttered his arms in a bowing manner, making eye contact with Remus again on his way back up. Remus had an eyebrow cocked at him and a glint in his eye that made Sirius grin, knowing that the boy was going to say one of his rare but brilliant quips.
“Alright Prongs, you might want to stop inflating Sirius’ head more. After all, we’ve all heard enough of Sirius and his performance,” Remus interjected with an emphasis on the word performance, wiggling his eyebrows at him. The group burst into cackling laughter and Sirius rolled his eyes, sighing in mock exasperation.
Peter snorted, “And the reviews haven’t always been stellar.” Sirius knew everyone was remembering his entirely unremarkable fumble with Marlene two years ago, before they both realized that they were both bent as a nine bob note and swore off the opposite sex forever.
“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius waved his hand to the sounds of giggles. “Forget about my performance, at least I got Malfoy out for the rest of the game. That git deserved it and more for what he said to Mary the other day,” Sirius spat out, expression darkening slightly and remembering the skirmish he had walked in on the previous week and Malfoy's blood purist comments. Mary walked over from where she was sitting with Remus and sat down on the couch, pushing Sirius’ legs off and patting his thigh. “Not that I’m complaining as it was so immensely satisfying seeing Malfoy looking like a dog with its tail between his legs every time he saw you during the game today, but I could have handled him myself, Sir Knight.”
“The thanks I get,” Sirius said dramatically, rolling his eyes as the conversation shifted its focus away from Sirius. After a few moments of trying to stop his eyes from drifting over to Remus and listening to his friends get progressively drunker and louder, Sirius gracefully unfolded himself from the couch. He walked over to the window where Remus was steadily sipping through another bottle of firewhiskey. Trying not to stare at Remus’ throat swallowing the alcohol, Sirius reached out to pinch his side. “Budge over, will you?”
Remus wrapped his lips around the bottle, looking up at Sirius from underneath his eyebrows. “Or what, you’ll show me some of that legendary Sirius Black performance?” he giggled.
“You wish, Moony,” Sirius colored, trying to hide the effect that Remus’ words were having on him. He pinched his side again, and Remus moved over a few inches, giving Sirius just enough space to squash in next to him, thigh to thigh, hip to hip, shoulders to shoulders.
Remus leaned in close to Sirius’ ear, lips nearly touching the shell of his ear and making every hair on Sirius’ body stand on end. He exhaled loudly as Remus whispered, “You really did do very well today.”
“You little minx, you’re well on your way to drunk, aren’t you? You’d never compliment me this much normally,” Sirius exclaimed, raising his pointer finger to tap Remus on his sweaty cheek.
Remus shrugged, giggling softly again. Sirius felt the redness rush to his cheeks again, feeling so very fond of this boy and his quick witted remarks and soft smiles and big sweaters that he wanted to burrow in. He moved closer to Remus, draping his arm around his back and rubbing the hair at the nape of his sweaty neck. Remus leaned his head back into the touch and Sirius gulped, feeling the rush of his emotions for Remus nearly overwhelm him.
“Moony, I-”
“Remus, what’s that charm again for your record player? Let’s get some music going in here,” Marlene hollered, interrupting Sirius. It was probably for the best, anyways, Sirius thought to himself as Remus got up to help Marlene with the records and the dulcet tones of Bowie started drifting through the common room. He didn’t know what he would have said if he hadn’t been interrupted, just that it would have been entirely too telling, especially with how drunk and sweet Remus was.
--
The party continued well into the night with music blaring, bottles of firewhiskey littered all over the floor, and couches pushed to the sides of the room to make more room for everyone to dance. Bodies were gyrating sweatily on the makeshift dance floor, and Sirius was panting, searching around the cushions for his wand so he could “aguamenti’ himself some water.
Looking around, he saw Remus stumbling towards the stairway to their dormitory. Moony’s sweater was draped over the first step of the staircase, and the man himself was wearing a tight short sleeved shirt that emphasized his lean body and, on a closer glance, may have actually been Sirius’.
“Moony!” Sirius hollered, trying to be heard over the music. Remus didn’t make any acknowledgement of his exclamation, continuing to grip the stair rails and bumping perilously into the wall on his way up. Sirius ran up to Remus, expertly dodging his housemates’ flailing limbs, and nearly stumbled into Remus’ back with his exuberance.
He placed a hand on the small of Remus’ back, shuddering at the warmth that he felt there. “Moony, you doing alright? D’you need help getting up?” Remus turned his head slowly and looked at Sirius confusedly.
“‘M fantastic!” Remus exclaimed, tossing his hands up in the air. The action caused him to lose his balance, tripping over his own feet and stumbling into Sirius. “Whoa there,” Sirius laughed, gripping onto Remus’ elbows to hold him up. “Someone had a little too much fun tonight, hmm?”
Remus giggled and moved his head closer to Sirius, widening his eyes comically. “Guess what?” he slurred. Sirius made eye contact with Remus, fondly rubbing his thumbs against Remus’ elbows. “What?”
“‘M in loooove,” Remus said, drawing out the word to last several syllables.
Sirius felt his heart stop. He had no idea that Remus had his eyes on anyone, let alone that he could be in love with anyone. He swallowed down the nausea that had erupted in his stomach and looked back at the remaining Gryffindors in the common room. “Oh, are you now? Who’s the lucky bird? Or bloke? Did you dance with them tonight? I could have sworn I just saw you dancing with our group,” Sirius said, searching for who could have stolen Moony’s heart. He felt goosebumps travel down his neck and shivers down his spine as Remus leaned in close to his ear for the second time that night.
“Shhh, ‘s Sirius, but you can’t tell anyone,” Remus slurred, leaning heavily against Sirius.
Heart pounding, Sirius winced at Remus’ volume and shook his head. “Moony, when have I ever spilled your secrets? There’s a rather big, furry one I’m keeping, you know. So who is it?” he asked, moving his hand up to grip Remus’ shoulder. He shook his head, getting distracted by the lean muscles under his palm and refocused on Remus’ hazel eyes.
“Siriussss.”
The man in question shook his head and smiled wryly. It would be hard getting anything out of Remus when he was this drunk.
“Yes, that’s me, but who is it?”
Moony claps his hands around Sirius’ face.
“I’m in love with Sirius.”
Sirius froze, realizing he had made a very big mistake with pushing Remus. Clearly Remus was either drunker than he originally believed and was making things up, or he was drunker than he originally believed and didn’t realize he was spilling his secrets to Sirius.
Remus continued, “He’s so infuriating and he’s just my absolute best friend but he’s just so pretty and I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him. I just want to kiss him so bad, especially when he does that pouty thing when he’s studying and he just makes it so hard for me to concentrate on anything except for how beautiful he is,” Remus sighed, trailing off, sniffling, and resting his head on Sirius’ shoulder. His hands began inching their way up Sirius’ back to hook around his neck. On impulse, Sirius’ hands came up to rest gently on Remus’ waist, heart fluttering wildly at his best friend’s confession and barely able to focus on any of his surroundings.
There was no doubt in his mind that Remus was telling the truth about liking him, which made him feel as if he were soaring, knowing that his feelings were reciprocated so strongly by the boy in front of him, but the circumstances were less than ideal.
Sirius removed Remus’ hands from around his neck and held them firmly in his own hands, running his finger over his palms.
“Remus. Moony. I am Sirius,” he said adamantly, trying one last time to get Remus to understand who he was talking to and what he had just confessed.
Remus’ eyes widened and he grinned loopily. “You are Sirius. You’re so beautiful.”
“Merlin, you’re going to be so upset if you remember this tomorrow,” Sirius said frantically, moaning as he remembered his best friend’s avoidance tactics when he was embarrassed. “I’m going to get you to bed and let you sleep this off.”
Remus grinned lecherously. “Take me to bed, make all my dreams come true tonight.”
Oh Merlin. Sirius stood for a moment, mouth open in shock and trying to get his heart rate under control. Remus was going to be the absolute death of him.
He shook his head again, focusing on the man in front of him. Wrapping an arm around Remus’ back and grabbing Remus arm to stabilize him, Sirius began the slow task of trying to haul Moony up the stairwell. Remus continued to stumble as they walked slowly, not helped by the fact that he kept trying to borrow his face in Sirius’ neck, causing Sirius to close his eyes tightly and try to resist the urge to just give up and let Remus do whatever he so wanted with him.
Having managed to get Remus up to their dorm room, he strongarmed him inside and walked him to his four-poster. Sirius bent down, pushing Remus to sit on the bed while he took off his shoes and placed them neatly near the bed, right where Remus kept them every evening. Looking up, Sirius gulped as he watched Remus stumble out of his pants, tossing them to the floor and scooting up towards the head of the bed in a series of jerky steps. Sirius sat on the edge of the bed and leaned forward, wrapping the bedsheets high up on Remus and shifting his hand to comb through Remus’ curls. Remus’ eyes fluttered shut at the motion and a soft smile appeared on his face.
“Goodnight Moony,” Sirius said softly, thinking anxiously of the morning to come. Remus nuzzled into his hand and Sirius felt himself melt looking at this beautiful boy. Giving a little pat to Remus’ head, Sirius made a move to stand, when Remus’ eyes shot open and his hand whipped out from under the bedsheets to grip Sirius’ wrist tightly.
“Don’t leave me,” he pleaded, a spark of vulnerability in his eyes as he looked over at Sirius.
Sirius groaned, feeling absolutely helpless to deny him but knowing that Remus would absolutely regret his actions if he remembered the whole evening upon waking the next morning.
“Alright, budge over.” He lifted the corner of the sheets as Remus scooted towards the other edge of the bed, making room for Sirius to join. The Marauders had all slept in each others’ beds before throughout the years, but this felt more weighted given Remus’ confession that evening and Sirius’ own feelings towards the boy.
Sirius wrapped his arm around Remus’ shoulders, shuddering heavily as Remus burrowed his head into Sirius’ neck.
“I love you,” Remus murmured against Sirius’ throat. Sirius worried his lips, looking up at the ceiling of their dormitory. He glanced back down at Remus’ soft features and began tracing slow patterns down Remus’ back.
“I love you too, Moony. I just hope you don’t hate me tomorrow,” he whispered, resting his face on Remus’ soft hair and breathing in the scent of his best friend. Slowly, he drifted off to sleep.
--
“Oh no. Oh no.”
The next morning, Sirius was awoken by Remus groaning into his chest. The pair hadn’t shifted position all night, still cuddled up with each other. Sirius grinned at the nauseated expression on Remus’ face, thinking of all the firewhiskey that Remus had consumed the night before.
“What happened last night?” Remus asked, looking ill as he opened his eyes and squinted up at Sirius.
Sirius’ grin faded a little bit, looking hesitantly at Remus.
“You don’t remember?”
Remus looked confused, thinking back through his blurry memories of the night before. Suddenly his eyes widened with shock and he ripped himself out of Sirius’ arms.
He wrapped his head in his hands, shaking and rocking back and forth. “Oh Merlin, Sirius, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” he repeated several times, keeping his head in his hands to not make eye contact with Sirius.
Sirius shook his head with exasperation. The boy had confessed his feelings last night and he was apologizing as if it were something bad. He scooted up next to Remus, slowly wrapping his long fingers one by one around Remus’ slender wrists and pulling them down to his lap.
“Moony, what are you talking about?”
“The things I said last night,” Remus shook his head, not meeting his eyes. “I understand if I made you uncomfortable and I ruined everything with our friendship. I should leave,” he said, making an aborted move to get off the bed.
Sirius rushed forward, bringing his hand up and moving his fingers under Remus’ chin, lifting it up and forcing him to make eye contact.
“I rather think you just sped things along, to be honest. Merlin knows I would have been too much of a wimp to do anything myself,” Sirius said, thinking that honesty was the best way forward with how much of a flight risk Remus seemed at the moment.
Remus’ brow furrowed with confusion. “What-” he barely had ground out before he registered Sirius’ hand on his chin. His eyes flickered down to Sirius' hand on his chin before looking back up to his eyes and then settling somewhere in between, near his lips.
Sirius licked his bottom lip, smirking when he saw Remus inhale sharply. He moved closer, bringing Remus’ face closer with the hand on his chin.
“You did ruin our friendship,” he whispered and Remus’ eyes glanced up unblinkingly. “But only because now that I know you love me too, I’ll never be satisfied with being just your friend every again,” Sirius breathed out.
Suddenly, Remus’ hand came up to Sirius’ hair and tugged and the next thing he knew was that Remus’ lips were against his. Merlin, it was better than he imagined. Remus’ lips were soft but slightly chapped, gently moving against his, tongue asking for entrance to Sirius’ mouth. Sirius acquiesced, feeling tingles run through his whole body as Remus shifted closer, playing with the loose waves of hair at the back of Sirius’ neck. Sirius emitted a low noise of pleasure and the two separated, staring dazed at each other with eyes half-lidded and lips swollen and red.
Remus opened his mouth as if to say something and Sirius’ eyes flicked down to glance at his lips again, when they were interrupted by a loud “Oi!” and the sound of something smacking against the bed curtains before falling to the floor.
“As thrilled as we are that you both have gotten your heads out of your arses, please, for the love of Merlin, put up a silencing charm or leave the room. It’s too goddamn early to hear you two snogging and it’s criminal to force me and Pete to hear that while hungover,” James’ voice emerged from beyond the curtains, groaning and raspy. Peter snorted from his bed curtain, emphasizing James’ point.
“You’re such a tosser,” Sirius exclaimed, ripping the curtains open and moving to get out of bed in James’ direction, only to be stopped by a hand on his wrist. He turned his head to see Remus with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, trailing his fingers up Sirius’ arm and eventually tugging him back to the bed.
Sirius followed obediently, all annoyance at James forgotten as he curled back around Remus and smiled sweetly as Remus traced his fingers around the curve of Sirius’ jawline, wrapping around the jut of his chin and bringing him closer to Remus’ lips again. Sirius inhaled suddenly as their lips met, and pressed one, two, and three chaste kisses to Remus’ mouth before reaching his arm out to the nightstand to grapple for his wand. Groaning as Remus continued kissing his jawline and down the line of his neck, Sirius eventually located his wand and threw up a silencing charm just as they heard another “Oi, I mean it-” from James’ bed.
The pair stared at each other for a second before Remus smiled bashfully, looking down and coloring slightly as he caught sight of Sirius’ red lips. Sirius smirked and wrapped an arm tightly around Remus’ shoulders, bringing his other arm to card through Remus’ tawny curls. His thumb traced the bit of color on Remus’ cheek and he brought his face close to Remus’ again, foreheads touching.
“Say it,” Remus whispered. “I’ve already embarrassed myself, I wanna hear you.” Sirius touched their noses together, closing his eyes again as he whispered, “If it wasn’t already abundantly clear, I love you too. So, so much, Moony.” Their lips pressed into each other over and over again, hands beginning to wander over each other’s bodies, touching and touching and those were the last words exchanged in the dormitory for a while.