Chapter Text
In the Glass Quarter there is an open call for rebellion. The city is in the grip of The Hammerites, those who ally themselves with the cruel and unjust machine god of war. They say the ticking-god makes no mistakes, it has no emotion and relies on the cruel mathematics at the heart of the universe.
It sounds to me like an excuse to be a bastard. I’d know an excuse when I hear one, being a bastard par-excellence myself. At least…I used to be.
I tour The Glass Quarter with my charge, a soft and slight man as those of the order tend to be. A kind smile and flimsy robes being the only protection he’d have on a cold day such as this. At least if he didn’t have me.
“This battle,” you speak to me in a soft voice, “it keeps us very busy does it not?” In one hand he holds a lithograph, embossed on a material that shines like jade. As he holds it close the enchanted script glows, casting out a warming aura that belies our presence but makes obvious our intent.
We are here to be seen and here to comfort and heal.
“I would assume you would want to be busy, aren’t men who work for the caring palm supposed to heal the sick?” I watch you smile, a soft thing just like the rest of you.
“True but there is a difference between the work we are to do and the work the ills of man force upon us.” Careful, you almost sounded unwilling there priest. You shrug your thin shoulders. “I will heal any who require my aid. That is what I do, I help.”
Course you do.
We move through the district, your blessed aura feels like a searchlight all around us but we’re not here to be hidden. We’re supposed to be found. It’s perhaps paranoia that makes me think the people who would seek us are not-
“Avast!” A cry rings out along with a chorus of steel. A tall, portly woman erupts from a nearby building brandishing a blade and one of The Hammerites little mechanical tools, a gunne I think it’s called. The blade is held, point first, toward you but you’ve not even blinked.
“A fine evening to you.” You held out your hand, palm facing upwards in the gesture of the faith. “There is no need for weapons.”
“Aye, so ye say,” the woman’s mouth is crowded with teeth, “I ain’t for negotiating this is a serious affair.”
“It can get a lot less serious if you put that down.” You said with an attempt to be civil.
“Or much more serious if you keep pointing it at the cleric.” I let the blue-skinned lady see one of my axe handles, I carried two on me at all times. Wicked Sisters, they had been dubbed because few could survive a conversation with them. Does she know of me, you and me cut a unique figure in the city.
“Ohhh you’re that healer.” She muttered. “The one who walks with an undead maiden.”
“You hear that?” You turn to me with a smile. “A maiden, are you?”
“I’ll have to find out who"s telling people such disgusting rumours.” I replied with a smirk. “The priest will do you no harm and I will do you none so long as he is kept safe.”
“Are you both capable of keeping a secret?” She asked us, the gunne goes onto a marigold sash on her belt. The woman hasn’t put away the sword, checked over her shoulder into the deeper quarter. “I need the aid of a healer and one with a quiet voice.”
“You can’t name a time I’ve ever told you a secret, let that speak of my ability to keep them.” Your hand goes to your side. “You have wounded , I assume?” You looked back at me and nodded for peace. I don’t move my hand from the axe at my hip, I let my wrist go lip across the head of the weapon.
“Perhaps I want to hear the word of the open palm?” She smiled just a little and I couldn’t help but snort and spit into the street, maiden talk has me all aflutter I suppose.
“They have sermons every second bell in the rising quarter.” I hook an arm around your shoulder and take you to leave. She rattles behind us, a big step forward.
“No, no! Please, yes. I have wounded but they are…” She swallows. The blonde knuckles white on the blade of her cutlass. “One is the Dark Lord Lucarian.”
“Prince of Shadows?” You said with a keen whistle. “You truly do meet the most interesting people in medicine.”
“The renegade king, who came here to burn the city to ash.”
“No.” The merwoman stomps her foot. “The Dark Lord Lucarian was summoned here to punish a wicked deed, trapped now by cruel wizards who wish to steal his power for a nefarious ritual.”
I rolled my eyes but you just nodded as if such a thing sounded mundane.
“Well, so long as your lord has a conventional body with a soul inside it then my healing touch will be enough.” You bowed your head and some part of me tickled at the irony of that, you pick that one yourself?
“May we have a name?” I asked. “You can get ours once you’ve proven you can share.”
“They call me Captain Bluebeardless.”
“Fuck off.” I say on pure instinct.
“Captain should work.” You saved me here. “I am the Priest Palmedius Lamora and this is my closest companion beyond even the veil of life. The departed axe, the reminder that death is not the end.”
“Camilla.” I told her because I know you had ten more titles. You’re so awful naming us after your little space lesbian tragedy story. You can never be simple. The Captain bristled slightly, adjusted her long coat and motioned for us to follow her into the building she emerged from.
Within we found scattered robes and clothes, a foul smell in the air and a slight tang so strong it could be tasted on the very tip of my tongue. Someone else was here, someone used to travelling in disguise.
There was a sudden bang from ahead and the Captain rushed ahead, with us close behind. Shoving through a door we found-
“OW MY EYE!”
“Ooops.”
A loud shrill whistle shattered the world as everyone let out a long and low breath. That was the whistle to cease in the area and so I stopped being Camilla and you stopped being a cleric and everyone got to be themselves again.
“Polly did you just,” Lucas, peered out from the flaps in the tent and winced, “oh, you did.” He let the tent flap close. That’s right, no big buildings. It’s all pop up tents and fake set pieces. “Your cork shot out there and smacked Nelson in the eye.”
“Haa.” Polly stood to one side, a bottle of champagne in one hand. She had stolen her little outfit from the school’s auditorium. I had no idea what use Polly had for a wildly inaccurate plague doctor outfit, but if I had to put money on it she probably met someone with an absolutely absurd fetish.
Lucky her.
Lucas removed the big ornate crown on his head, with numerous blood-red eyes lining the rim, and rolled his shoulders. “Mimi, next time, could you change into a hat that’s not as heavy?.” Two long tendrils emerged from the rim, and folded over each other like arms as the mimic huffed in annoyance. You tried to pick it up, but Mimi growled at you. “She only trusts me and Katrina,” Lucas spoke. “I wouldn’t pick her up unless you want her to suck out your fluids.”
“I still think this is kind of dumb,” Polly muttered, “if you need healed or whatever I got ten bottles of stuff that’ll make your blood feel like candyfloss in the car.”
“Yeah but that’s not in game.” Katrina muttered as she rubbed Lucas’ shoulders. The shadow elemental’s annoyed expression seemed to wash away, if only briefly. “Remember Polly, at a LARP all the stuff in the game world and real world don’t interact.”
“I know,” Polly leaned on the table, “I’ve had like nine bottles of Everclear confiscated because of that dumb rule.”
“Is that why your medicine seller character has been trying to start a booze industry, so you can legally say your character can have spirits?” You laughed and reached into your sleeve, pulling out a thin flask. “Sacramental wine?”
“Save my soul and call me a convert.” She took the flask and didn’t so much sip as swallow the contents. “So are we nearly done? I’d love to bust out the twister mat, way more fun game.” She looked at me and winked when she said that. “I hear you’re kinda flexible.”
“Who in the world told you that?” I asked and she just pointed at you. “You- what?”
“You are. You do that,” you make a weird pose with a hand over your head and one leg crossed in mid air. “Yoga stuff some mornings and all the funky dancing.”
“Lack of bones and stuff.” I said. “Easy to be flexible when you’ve no internal bits.”
“I bet.” Katrina said. “We’re not done yet, until our side captures the other king we’re gonna have to keep going. IT could take days.”
“No.” Polly moaned. “I don’t wanna be here for days. It’s lame.”
“It’s just the rules of this scenario, Polly.” I sat at the table. “In these plot driven larps you get these overlapping scenario points that set up the story for the following days. We just happened to arrive in the middle of a pretty intense one.”
You and Polly look at me. I’m not sure what to make your eyes but Polly just couldn’t look more tired.
“It’s capture the flag with people. The other team either gets Lucas or we get…What was his name?”
“Ragnar.” Lucas said. “Or Randall.” He sighed. “I admit, I am not impressed with either name. The former is fairly overused, and the latter is too casual for this fantasy world.”
“Still better than LUCARIAN.” Polly scoffed.
“It’s ‘The Dark Lord Lucarian,’ Lucas frowned. “He prefers the full title, and that includes the ‘the’.What is your character"s name again?”
“Chesty Biggums.” Polly said with delight. “Three quarters hobbit and one quarter a bitch, the bitch genes won out.” She passed you back your flask. “Come on Dennis, this is dumb.”
“It’s alright.” You said. “It’s fun, playing pretend and they give us a little money for helping out as NPCs.” You rubbed your fingers together. “You’re not thinking organically here, Polly.”
“What?” She leaned over the table and pulled a wad of cash out of her shirt. “I am sneaking booze to these larp heads and they are paying me through the nose.”
“Polly!” Lucas seethed. “Is that why half our team is constantly falling over? I thought their armour was too big!”
“This day as not gone as I would have hoped” Lucas sighed as he rubbed his forehead “As much as I love hamming things up as the Dark Lord Lucarian, I wanted to play a different role, just for a change of pace. I wanted to play an artificer that could build shadow construct robots to help the economy.” “Magitech has always personally interested me..”
“Didn’t your robot accidentally malfunction and throw a guy into the lake?” I asked and Lucas made a noise.
“Sabotage. My rolls were perfect. One of the other players did it, I’m sure of it.” He folded his arms and looked to one side. “ Even when I was told to take up the role as the Dark Lord Lucarian, I still don’t know why the heads of this event wouldn’t allow me to tap into my hammy side.”
“Maybe because you were threatening to kill all other players’ children and throw them into the river?” Katrina winced.
“Everyone is acting here. I see no reason why I shouldn’t have the chance to channel my inner classic Disney villain. The Dark Lord Lucarian acting noble in any sense simply does not work for his character.”
“Maybe think of this as character development, Lukie” Katrina smiles. “A once wicked ruler, now cured of his insanity. Now doing everything he can to help his people.” She holds his hands and twirls him around slightly as she dramatically moves around to sell the appeal. “He is still looked down upon for his past actions, but it is pushing against it that makes his struggle more appealing. One that his people can eventually come to love and respect.”
“And here I thought I was the dramatic one,” Lucas chuckled, giving the first real smile I’ve seen him give.
“Mmmm… It’s rubbing off on me,” Katrina purred. “A few months of dating is enough for that to happen, right?”
Mimi raises a tendril and gags at the dialogue.
“Anyways,” Polly looked at me, trying to get things back on track, "Either Lucas or that dude gets caught so we can move onto something more fun?” Polly looked at me. “Come on it’s weird, I get this larp stuff is cool for some people but I’m not seeing it.”
“Listen, this is just like chess.”
“Chess does not have as much BO as this place does.”
I have to give it to her and a couple other people chuckle. Dennis says nothing, he can’t sweat anymore. Perk of being dead.
“I’m having fun,” you said with a soft smile, “I think Polly you’re just not applying your strengths here.” He leaned forward. “The booze idea is great but obviously hard to market. Have you considered you know…Brewing Health Tonics?”
The look on her face is truly wicked. “Ohhh nobody can confiscate health tonics can they?”
“Extra potent tonics and regular ones. You don’t want to be obvious.” You laughed. “I’m sure an alchemist as powerful and skilled as Chesty could handle that.”
“Oh Chesty can handle all sorts of things, cleric Pal. Maybe you want to come over and we can compare professions?” She leaned on her hands. “You apply that HEALING touch of yours and I can supply you and your bodyguard with some invigorating potions.”
“Oh my…” Lucas’s face became as red as a tomato, trying to divert his eyes away from the scene.. “Please tell me you’re not implying…”
“Oh, don’t worry, shady boi, you can watch too.” Polly started to undress at once and I hit her on the head with the big foam axe. “Ow come on! He’s encouraging it.”
You just laughed. “We can collaborate, sacramental toilet wine perhaps.”
“Nothing blessed comes out of those toilets.” Lucas rubbed at his eyes but Katrina just chuckled at it. “Please don’t encourage them.”
“It’s funny! It’s like being back at Spooky Academy again.” She sighed. “All that’s missing is a giant football obsessed wolf man.”
“That’s because I’m a tree!” Scott Howl poked into the suddenly very crowded tent. He was dressed as a tree, with little birdies all over him. “It’s so fun being a tree, Polly. People keep showing up and offering me things so I give them these EXP tickets.” HE held up a set of raffle tickets. “A lot of people love to visit me for this EXP stuff.”
“A real giving tree, are you?” I asked and Scott nodded his head. “You know you’re supposed to give a couple of those out, it helps people level up and make them tougher to beat.”
“It does?” Scott looked down at the tickets. “Oh that’s cool, makes them better at the game.”
“It does.” You said and Lucas and Katrina shared a look.
“Scott-”
“Sup, bro.”
“When you say you’ve been giving these tickets to other players.” Lucas clasped his hands. “Are any of them,” he held up his hands, “wearing my black cloak or are they wearing the big white cloak?”
“I don’t see colours good, man.” Scott looked down and I gave him a pat on the back.
“Yeah when we tried to teach him cards he kept asking about the grey ones or the gray ones.”
“...HMM.” Katrina puffed out her cheeks. “I hadn’t thought about that.” She clasped her hands. “Well, it’s not like any of the other players know where we are and nobody would be lame enough to try and find us during a halt in play.”
We all stood there. Scott laughed.
“Yeah I just got followed by all my new buddies who want these tickets.” He said and opened the tent door, outside was a dozen players on the other team who just waved at us. Bows drawn, spell bags in hand.
“Hey Dark Lord Lucarian.” Said a smirking young man at the front. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“It’s ‘THE’ Dark Lord Lucarian,” Lucas growled, putting the also growling Mimi back onto his head. “Please get it right, and how did you know Scott was going to come here?”
“I texted him to come meet me in the lame tent with the dorky shadow dude.” Polly shrugged. Lucas shot her a look, staring crimson daggers right into her own eyes. “TO be fair I didn’t know he was gonna bring the knights of the never getting around table.”
Katrina snorted. Lucas looked at her. “Okay so I can’t laugh when she’s funny EITHER?”
“Just…,” Lucas grabbed his head, “close the flap. Please” He said and Scott did so. “Alright, so it’s safe to say that we are utterly fucked.”
“I wish.” Polly snorted and held up her hand for a high five. You and Scott both supplied it because you’re an infant. You don’t even like sex…I mean you don’t know if you do or you don’t. Oh you suck sometimes.
“So,” you turned to me, “how are you saving my life?”
“Oh, am I going to save your life?” I asked and you just sat there, expression utterly serene. Of course I was going to save your life. “What spells do you have that are, in the least combat focused?”
“None that are directly violent but a few that encourage a lack of violence.”
“Bear in mind, thanks to Scott a few of them are going to have yoked saves.” Katrina muttered as she moved to the back of the tent. “Best to use things that don’t allow saves or you know.” She pulled a tarp off a little toy cannon. “It doesn’t really matter if they make it given how much damage you can do.”
“Good thinking, Captain,” Lucas gave an approving nod and smile.
“How long has that been there?” I asked and Katrina shrugged. “What, was that the fix Lucarian or else option?”
“A little.” Katrina smirked, a mouth like a bear trap gone off.
“I have a few fine ones,” you placed some bags on the table with labels. This was how we did spells. Little bags with stuff written on them. You get hit by it, you have to get out actual dice and roll the saves. Dorky? Yes. Fun, it depends.
“Oh you’re horrible.” I said after looking at the bags. “You never like to play fair do you?”
“Of course I do. I just like to play well.” You separated the bags into two piles. Polly leaned over and raised an eyebrow.
“Um one of these is a make metal hot bag and the other one is…Stone to mud?” Polly said and you just nod. “You umm…Sure these are good?”
“It’s…” I waved at her. “Just sit there and watch.”
“Ooh, ooh what do I do?” Scott asked and you looked up at him.
“Whatever you want Scott, it’s a game for us all to have fun.” You just lean back, clasp your hands and angle yourself to hide the little canon. “Be sure to let me move before you fire that.”
“Like I’d take out the healer!” Katrina laughed back before taking up position.
“What about you?” I looked to Polly who just sat back and sipped slowly from a potion flask.
“Potion of nah.” She said. “Violence has never been my thing, unless it’s really funny.”
“Oh give it a second.” You said with a wicked little smile on your face. The whistle blows and-
What Polly doesn’t get is that you get as much out of this as you put in. Some of us pretend professionally. I won’t read into what that says about me because right now I’m not me. I’m the once dead maiden of protection and she doesn’t have huge amounts of internalised guilt.
The place was surrounded, in mere moments the place went from a hideout to a death trap. Chesty, an alchemist who I found a bit too handsy around the cleric and myself…Had decided to cower in the corner, slumped down beside the grand spirit of the forest Scott…
Scott’s character was also called Scot, but with one t. We felt like it would keep him from getting confused.
Ahem.
The Dark Lord Lucarian, all shadows and darkness but wearing a crown of rights sat at the table, implacable despite the circumstances. Outside we could hear the stealth of the mob, the clattering of blades, the hiss of steel and the true bravery of cowards in greater numbers.
“You keep your head down,” I told you and all you did was weave a pair of enchantments. The open palm of the merciful goddess emerged, ghast like from your own. She worked through all her disciples in such a way. You’d have to be mad to welcome a sliver of a god into your very being.
Then again you’ve never been sane, have you cleric?
“This is your one chance, Lucarian.” The gruff bark of Sheriff Vulk grows over the din. “I’ve got nine strong men out here, we’ve spread a warding rune around the house so none of your fancy teleportation.”
I open the tent and there is a circle of brightly coloured ward strips. Lucas sighs, tired of having to correct others of his proper title, before sitting up and tilting his head.
“Will it be single save or-” He asked, holding a die in his hand and a guy in a jaunty hat, Vulk’s player I don’t know his name, shook his head.
“It’s a layered one, three layers.” He, to his credit, held up a green strip, pink strip and white strip layered over each other. “Starts at a level 4 ward up to level 8.”
“Oooh, yes.” Lucas put his dice down. “I forgot you all have some good spell casters.”
“Oh no, we had to pay The Witch Girls like seventy gold for each of these. We did the first two layers though.” He beamed. “Anyway um-” he coughed and-
“You can come out peaceful like, I’m trying to get nominated for sheriff again and I’d like to do this with as little bloodshed as possible!” A raucous laugh bubbled up from him. “If ye even bleed that is.”
Lucarian doesn’t rattle even a little bit. He rests his hand on the hilt of a blade sat up against the table, it doesn’t look right. Then I realise the light seems to avoid it, flows around the blade like oil across water.
“If a single man out there thinks he can take me alone he has the right to challenge me. I fight men, not rabble.” Lucarian let his blade rest on the table. “Rabble I just sweep from my path.”
“Talk peace into the man, cleric. I saw you heading inside.” Good way not to metagame bro. “You’re a fella of peace, healed me a few times. Heal anybody.”
“As is the order of the many handed goddess of mercy.” You made a gesture by resting the back of your hands togethers, knuckles touching and fingers spread out like wings. “She asks that I keep bloodshed to a minimum. I feel letting this man go with you gentlemen will lead to blood.”
A bit of murmuring. Logic could win out here. I look to the Captain who hangs back by her peacemaker.
“We’re coming in!” A voice calls out.
“Um, does the door have any enchantments on it?” A voice asked and they are cautious.
“None.” You answer and the head of a foam axe pops through, once, twice, three times. The guy wielding it might have had issues cutting through paper with an actual axe, but given the wacky horned helmet he has on….
The berserker makes the door into timbers and enters, slavering, furious, hired muscle from a tavern no doubt. He makes a good first impression as you hold up a hand. “By the goddess light I bid ye hold.” You say and hold up a spell card- shield.
“Oh,” the barbarian turns, “is it HP based?”
“Afraid so.” You say with a shrug. “I’m here to hold back the violence, it doesn’t rebuke though.”
“No?” You might as well have told them there was free cake. A number of them start to file in and Lucas puts on a show.
The Dark Lord Lucarian fidgets, he fusses, he looks around for any other escape routes and that just whets their appetites. Knives come out and start hacking at your blessed shield, start carving up the light barrier.
“Men, please.” You called out. “We are none of us savages. We all walk the same stone floor do we not?”
“We do not!” Called out a man with a mace. “I will never bow to no shadow-kin. Creatures wept from the night terrors of mother-dark herself.”
“Foul thing.” Another called.
“Oh yes, I’ve rather heard that before.” Lucarian snarled back. “Your own liege lord sends you to dirty your hands while he sits around and collects taxes. Would you not rather work for a man who aids his people, who strikes out to create new opportunities for the poor and rich alike?”
“Sure we would.” Vulk called back. “You find me a MAN and not a freakish shadow fella and we can talk.” He chuckled darkly. “You’re gonna spend a night in the cells for this cleric, see how many friends you got when we get you out of the eyes of your watchful god.
My axes come out, I spin them around once. “Reach for the cleric and you’re donating an arm to my collection.”
“It’s sprawling.” You told them. “Absolutely hideous.”
“How much HP has the shield got?” Someone called out.
“It tops out at one hundred forty.” You said and a few people called out for the card and you handed it over. They looked it over for a few minutes and nodded before handing it back. “I basically have no offensive spells and put it all into this.”
“Damn shows.”
I close out the distractions. The shield crackles, it fades and then like a promise made too quickly it breaks. The room is us and a dozen men with murder on their mind. You don’t blink. You just speak words in an old but stern tongue. The ground quakes and our foes sink, some up to their knees, some up to their waists as the stones at their feet turn to mud.
“No save?” One of the group called out.
“Afraid not.”
“Now this is-”
“I said do we not all stand on the same stone floor,” you told them, “I set the scene and you all accepted without quibble. Besides, guys. Come on.” You held a hand to your chest. “I can’t hurt you, it’s just to slow you down.”
“We’ll be free of this magic man, like to see you cast a spell with a broken jaw!” One of the men rumbled as he dragged himself forward. The Captain cackled as you moved to one side, exposing the giant canon to them.
“...Mercy, please.”
“I’m not the cleric.” The Captain said, cutlass dragged across the cool steel body of the cannon to ignite the fuse. That’s when everyone started to scream and then-
A number of dice rolled on the table. “So it’s-”
“Explosive weapon,” Katrina said, “close quarters, all of you have disadvantage on dexterity dodge saves AND -2 armor thanks to the mud. If it doesn’t hit you, then you have to roll dex to dodge the back blast.”
“If it…does hit us?”
“Well.” Katrina held up a little bag labelled “Cannonball”. “It’s 8d10 normally but I have explosives expert so it’s 10d10 for raw damage. It’s a shrapnel ball so it also does an extra 2d10. So if it hits, 12d10. If it misses? 6d10 but with a chance to knock you prone.”
One of the players looked at you. “Do no harm?”
“I live to the letter of my creed while in danger, if not the spirit of it.” You smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ll cast instant repose, so anyone at negative hit points is stabilised and set to 1….BUT you’ll obviously be staying down.”
There was a murmur as everyone looked at Vulk, he had stayed at the back. “I don’t get that many healing potions boys.” He said with an awkward grin. “This is why I go in last…”
The building shook and through the cover of smoke and debris we emerged, you glowed with resplendent grace as you kept the fallen alive and cleaned our clothes at the same time.
“Sheriff.” I tipped my head to him as we passed and the law-man made no move.
“I’ll report you to the church, cleric.” He snapped and you clasped your hands.
“It is a good thing ours is a forgiving god then, isn’t it?” About as close to a “go fuck yourself” as you can get. The pirate captain and Lucarian emerged next, the king’s own hand rested at his hip on the hilt of his blade. Ready for anything, ready for any sort of violence.
“You’re going to tear this city apart.” Vulk said as he put a pipe in his mouth. “I mean it now, if you continue as you are. It’s only going to make people go crazy.”
“Oooh cash.” I heard and turned to find Chesty robbing the unconscious attackers.
“Oh for goodness sake.” I snapped at her. “Don’t make me hit you with the flat of my axe.”
“The fat of your ass?” She replied and someone snorted beneath her. “Hey you’re out cold, don’t laugh at how funny I am.”
“You can rob that one.” I said and turned back around.
The Captain strode out, all swagger and fangs. A moment later came Lucarian, no doubt he had to make sure his armor looked shiny. He regarded Vulk with a sneer, Vulk didn’t rise to it. This was just a job to the sheriff, I can respect that.
“You’ll be remembered for this.” Lucarian told him as if he couldn’t help himself. “When the right people return to power then-”
“I don’t much mind who comes to power. I just want folk to be real about it.” Vulk tilted forward and exhaled a cloud of smoke from his pipe. A bright noxious purple fume washed over Lucarian.
Lucas stumbled back, glitter floating around him as Vulk’s player flicked his pipe to spread it.
“Hey!” Katrina snapped. “What are-”
“It’s a spell.” Vulk’s player wheedled. “Surprise spells are totally fine.” He handed her a card. “See, it"s just a spell of twist alignment.” He went on and Katrina frowned. “What you shot us with a hidden cannon, I can’t have a hidden spell?”
“Lucas, are you good?” You asked as the man waved at his face over and over again. “It was just glitter in that powder?”
“I mean…Same as any other spell thing.” Vulk looked at his pipe. “I don’t even actually smoke out of this, it"s just a prop.”
“Lukie?” Katrina asked as he continued to wheeze and cough. We all stopped and even Polly and Scott leaned out the door.
“Oh no, bro is choking.” Scott said as he bounded over, his mighty arms encircling Lucas and then with a sudden squeeze. “I’ll give him the Heisenberg.”
“Not what that’s called.” I said and Scott lifted Lucas from the ground with a squeeze. Then Lucas roared. As in an actual monstrous roar, the trees around us quivered and rustled. His eyes glowed like two blood moons.The whole world seemed to tilt JUST a little bit. Then I realised with a sudden start it wasn’t that the world had moved.
Something else had.
All the shadows at our feet jerked at a wrong angle, light didn’t matter, they’d all been drawn towards Lucas. Pooling at Scott’s feet and congealing. They overlapped and formed something darker than black. Layered and thickening as the shadows tore from people’s feet and dragged themselves over from the forest’s edge.
Scott kept up his efforts but was totally oblivious to the weirdness at his feet. I wanted to say something but I found myself looking up at the sky. A loud ringing in my ears as Scott and Lucas launched upward, a faint black dot against the sky.
And then the lights went out and the world went entirely to hell.
“Run, run, run!” I heard you say as you got up before me, bolted and dragged me behind you. From above something fell, it grew wider and fatter as it plummeted. A dot, a line, a wall and it just kept getting bigger and bigger.
All of us ran, I didn’t look back, I just had to get out from under the growing shadow. The ground below me bubbled, hissed as from the shadows things looked out at us. Hands grasped and groped for our feet. They clearly wanted us to stay and see whatever was getting closer to us.
I looked back and saw Polly had bolted as well and Vulk, god I couldn’t see him. I just focused on you and me. You ran in your big daft cleric outfit and had to pinch it between your hands to not trip over it.
You turned to me and said something but I didn’t hear it because a sound like god slamming my head in a car door hit just behind us and threw the two of us into the air. I heard something snap, something crack and I knew all at once it wasn’t me.
I knew all at once it was too loud to be trees.
I blinked, light, I blinked, dark, I blinked and the world was the forest and you were lying in a twisted heap on the ground. I crawled over to you, I didn’t feel pain, I didn’t feel the aches of flesh but you did and right now I had to turn that off before it overwhelmed you.
I turned you over and your head flopped lifelessly to one side. A rock sits under you and all at once I realised you must have landed wrong. I don’t have time to worry about it, I have no idea what’s going on. So…I climb into the wreckage of you.
Broken bones the size of the world, pools of fluid, wrecked vertebrae. It’s like walking through a burned out building, there’s nothing here but ruin and wreckage and you aren’t here at all. There’s no sound of you, no breathing, save for one piece. I hear it like you hear a sigh at the end of an argument, the sound that you know should be left well enough alone but…
I find the little fragments of your soul, your very being all tied down. Locked to the ruined flesh I put you in. Trying to rise up, trying to move onto whatever would be next for you. To get away from the pain and the ruin.
It would be kinder. To just let you go.
But…I’ve never been kind. Not in the correct way.
I hold you down and with a bit of will I start to fix things. Flesh knits, bones fuse, ecto-matter welds. It will take me hours to fix everything. But still…
I felt the Earth under my fingers as I pushed us both up. Your body I could fix on the move, I’ve done it before. I make sure everything is twisted around the correct way. I take a moment or two to test the legs and joints. They make unsightly sounds but they work.
Then I walk us both back to civilization.
I don’t rush, I’m worried to rush. Might break something else. I spare a moment and turn around, the clearing where we were a moment ago is now just a solid wall of darkness. Shadows too dark to see through stretch outward.
“Welp.” I muttered. “Let"s find the others.”
It’s about twenty minutes of slow walking before I come back out into the main compound area, where everyone mixes. There’s a rule of not fighting in this area- in universe it’s blah blah anti violence, blah.
All of that seems pointless right now.
Something slammed into us and it’s Polly.
“Oh shit, you guys are good?”
“We are.” I said, my voice leaked out of you. “Sorry.”
“Oh.” Polly looked at us. “Is he?”
“He landed…Funny.” I don’t want her to worry. “He’ll be fine. Have you seen anyone else?”
“No. No sign of Scott and when I tried to call him we couldn’t get anything.” She folded her arms. “I’m so worried about him.”
“Yeah.” I said. “What’s going on?” As if in answer she turned me around. “Oh, fuck me.”
In the middle of the forest was a giant tower of darkness, straight up into the air. It went up and up and up and it didn’t seem to ever stop. A wall of pure night cut into the mid afternoon day.
People milled around, confused, talking, snapping photos. I realised with very little hope that we were totally fucked. People aren’t supposed to see monsters and magic or else…Well I had no idea what would happen but given every episode of The Coven show where it nearly happened was usually prefaced with reality ending.
I assume it wasn’t going to be good.
“Yeeeah maybe we should.”
“What?”
“Fuck? The end of the world.” Polly said and I scoffed. “Oh come on, I had to try.”
“YOU really did.” I muttered. “This is bad…Should we call like, The Coven?”
“Do you have their number?”
“No.”
“Neither do I.” Polly said and part of me was sure that was a lie. But I didn’t press her. “Do you have any idea what we should do?”
“Not…Especially.” I admitted to her, eyes fixed on the horizon. I felt her nudge against us, against your body. She was worried, Scott and the others…Where were they? I know how worry makes you feel, how it makes us all feel. Alone, powerless. You’d remind her she wasn’t alone so I gingerly grab her hand. I squeeze very slightly, she won’t feel the warmth but she will feel the gentle pressure.
I feel it back and we stand there for a few moments, hand in hand.
Watching the world go mad.
“You two-”
WE both screamed and turned to find Katrina behind us, she flopped backwards onto her ass and tail in fright.
“Jesus, don’t fucking sneak up on people!” I snarled back. “Give me a fucking heart attack.”
“She has one of those right now.” Polly said, shaking our joined hands. “Made them jump a foot in the air and I almost went with them.”
“S-Sorry.” Katrina held up her hands. “I figured you two would want to know I made it, all good.”
“Did you see Scott?” Polly asked and Katrina shook her head. “What the fuck?”
“This is…Well Lukie can do this.” She said and nodded toward the tower. “He’s got some really powerful shadowy powers. Making shadow constructs like this is…Pretty doable.”
“What?” I asked.
“Yeah, it’s pretty awesome. At least… when it’s not like this. He even warps us everywhere by walking into shadows. Makes roadtrips so easy.”
“Wow, envious. I have to share a car with three people and one of them routinely gets drunk in the backseat and tells me I’m a shit driver.”
“Does Scott really do that?” Polly asked and I could hear her smirking at me.
“Why is he-”
“I have no idea.” Katrina said. “Like, maybe whatever was in that fancy glitter made him freak out. I don’t think he’s allergic to anything but at the same time…That’s all I can think of.”
“But we’ve been around that stuff all LARP.” I told her. “There’s no way he hasn’t got that glittery magic stuff on him before.” I rubbed at our face. “What do we do?”
“Well.” Katrina puffed out her chest. “I have to go get Lukie. If he’s in there I have to go fetch him.”
“That sounds crazy.” Polly said. “I mean who knows what is going on in there.”
“I can’t just leave him!” Katrina yelled in desperation. I noticed her eyes starting to get a little wet. “He might need my help and there’s no way I can help him out here. He’s…” She stopped talking and bolted forward. Polly and I just caught on when we saw Vulk’s player limp out of the tree line. Katrina, more furious that I’ve ever seen her, was on him pretty quickly, near pouncing on him. She grabbed his collar with both hands and held him upward, with teeth growling and eyes crackling with electricity.
The two of us made tracks over there.
“What did you?!” Katrina roared, bringing the terrified human closer to her fangs. Compared to the wrathful mergirl, even someone like Vulk seemed like a guppy next to a great white shark.
“I-I just used the stuff.” Vulk stammered. “What the fuck did he do?!
“He-”
“It’s part of the larp!” Polly cut in. “You know!” She said this and he looked at her. He looked over at the tower of darkness. “It’s special effects bro, come on. Don’t tell me you bought into that.”
“Wh…What?” He asked.
“Oh yeah this is the next level of the larp. You weren’t supposed to catch the Dark Lord Lucarian this early but you, super, duper did!” Polly slung her arm around the guy and shook him. “The idea was for him to..You know get caught and put on trial and then do this whole thing to set up for a….” She looked at me.
“Dungeon.” I said limply. “Yeah this is the next big part of the LARP. A dungeon run.” I sighed. “You guys really got us early.”
He looked between us. “Is…Is that why your costumes are so good?” He asked and we nodded as one. “Oh my gosh are you guys like the people running it?” He asked and I tapped my nose. “Oh, did I fuck it up?”
“No.” I said but Polly nodded at him. “He didn’t. We’ve had to rush stuff, so listen. It’d be a big favor to us and the rest of the team…If while we set up the next part of the event you were to embellish a little.”
“Embellish?” He asked.
“Yeah.” Katrina said. “It turns out Lucarian’s dark magic has gone awry in ways not even HE predicted and it’s caused him to do this.” She gestured to the tower.
“It’s a really big prop.” Polly told him. “We’ve not had time to set it all up yet.”
“What the fuck is the budget for this?”
“SO MUCH.” Polly said. “THE MOST and you’ve nearly caused us to blow it, dummy. So you better get up there and tell the story of your damn life.” She shoved at him but before he could go I grabbed him.
“That spell you got. Did you make it?”
“Oh no I bought it from that other dude with the great costume.” He pointed toward a bright and colourful set of flags in the distance. “The merchant dude.”
“Merchant dude?” Katrina asked and I shrugged before letting him run off. “I guess we should check it out.” She moved and I went with her.
“I’m gonna have one more look for Scott.” Polly said. “If you guys get any plans, hit me up, gonna try and sell this is all a scheme.”
“Polly, we’ll find him.” I said. “I’ll make sure we do.”
“Thanks.” Her voice was quiet, her eyes cast downward. She pulled that beaky mask over her face and moved off. Strange girl, odd girl, she cares so much. A lot like you do, I think. I can’t help but notice the quiet.
Where do you go?
When you’re not all here. When it’s very quiet and you’re gone, where do you go? I’m sat in the husk of you, putting it together, mending it. It’s a strange thing. The trap breaks, you get out and I rebuild it. I fix the locks on the cage and then after a while I turn around and you’re back in the cell.
I hope you can get rid of me one day. I really hope you do.
Please hurry back.
I miss you.
I miss you so much.
“What in the fresh flying fuck.” Katrina muttered and I was at once slapped out of my pity party. A bright colourful pop up tent, replete with circus flags and a crudely painted wooden sign that said “NOODLES EMPORIUM.”
“Hewwo!” A nasally voice burbled up from-
“Holy shit no.”
Some kind of green octopus thing. Katrina and Polly and even Scott could pretend to be people. THIS thing? This thing was here and it was just hanging out. Oh no.
“Das WUDE. You"re lucky I like rude sons a bitch.” The creature giggled. “So whatcha buyin!?”
“You know we can’t let humans see us?”
“That’s gonna make selling them stuff real hard.” The creature said. “Noodles is the face of his own brand. I’m Noodles!” He flailed his many tendrils at us.
“I bet…” I said and looked down at the creature. All around it were numerous objects. VHS cassettes, bottles of booze, cigars, magical tomes of dark power and… “Those are real?”
“Oh good eye! That’s the Libris Mortis, a book of bound flesh with a thousand screams trapped on every page. Each scream is the words of the spell that killed them! Easy to learn deadly, nightmarish spells!”
“...That’s a real magical book.” Katrina blinked in horror and looked at me. “You’re selling real magical books to LARP kids?”
“They’re money is just as good as everyone else"s.” Noodles body expanded and deflated in what might have been a shrug. “Look at all this gold they gave me!” He pointed at the plastic fake coins we’d been given as currency. “Noodles is so fucking rich!”
“Oh no, he’s an idiot.”
“Oh, he’s worse.” I said. “He’s a dangerous idiot.”
“Hey. I get the feeling you two don’t want to buy nothing.” Noodles waggled his entire horrible squashy self at us. “Out of here, you will scare off my customers.”
“Did you sell someone a spell? Vulk the guy with the pipe?”
“Oh yeah. He wanted an alignment switch spell.” Noodles said. “Make a bad guy a good guy.” He chuckled. “Thankfully I had that spell ready, I never heard of this powder stuff before but I used the classic wizardmancy method.”
“I am so scared you’re going to tell us what that is.” Katrina winced as Noodles held up a dozen severed fingers. “Oh god.” She looked to one side and covered her mouth, trying not to hurl.
“Wizards murdered while charging a spell, their fingers still hold the power and mana. Just needs to be charged, grind fingers down to dust and it’s MAGICAL POWDER.” He waggled his tendrils. “All yours for five gold pieces.” He tapped the plastic.
“Lucas got hit with an alignment switching spell.” I said. “But a real one…So he went from weird nerd into robot legos.”
“Hey, he’s not…that weird.”
“WEIRD NERD INTO ROBOT LEGOS.” I turned to the pillar of darkness. “Into an actually insane world ender. Great.”
“...Do you got a finger of dispel magic?” I asked and Noodles clapped his tentacles. He held up a meat grinder and a finger. “Dope.”
------------------
Katrina and I regrouped with Polly. It wasn’t a smart idea we had but it was an idea.
“So you’re gonna run into the big dark tower to the sky and try and sprinkle pixie dust on the nerd?” Polly asked and Katrina made a noise. “He’s a nerd.”
“He is.”
“So am I, you know,” Katrina huffed. “I don’t date him just because he’s sexy. Look, can we focus on helping him please?”
“Polly.” I took a breath. “I need you to do something for us.”
“Um-”
“We’re gonna try and get the guy. You…You have to keep the people out of there. Distract them, make stuff up, get them all drunk if you want. Just keep them out and if we don’t come out soon.” I stare at her. “Call The Coven, yeah? Anyway you can, anything you have to do.”
Polly could have said something funny, she could have said no, she could have done anything right there. What she did was nod, quietly. “Find Scott yeah?”
“Of course.” I said.
“Wait.” Polly reached into her bag. “I made one...Proper potion. This might help you out.” She handed me a bottle filled with a white filmy liquid. I knew exactly what this was.
“Oh Polly, you lovely girl.” I found myself saying. “My favourite.”
“I thought you might like it.” She chuckled. “So…I’m gonna start getting a bunch of loser nerds high, happy and too stupid to risk their lives.” She stood up. “Time to go full party-mancer on these dweebs.”
She stood up and produced from a nearby bag about four bottles of vodka, two bongs and what I am fairly certain was enough cocaine to kill an army. She gave me a salute and moved off.
You’re not here to hear this but if you don’t bang her, I swear to god, I’m going to have to.
We move toward the beacon of no-light. Me and Katrina, a girl I admit know nearly nothing about beyond she’s willing to walk into the jaws of death to save a skinny weird guy. I can relate. I’m all about that.
The woods aren’t any worse but they are quieter as we draw closer and closer to the tower I notice it. Well the lack of it. No noise, no sounds, just us moving through the woods. No animals, no creatures making a sound. This place has become wrong.
“I know that he’s been overtaken by evil,” Katrina spoke up to break the silence, “but Lukie’s not a bad guy…Normally. I mean obviously that’s why this is working out this way.”
“I know.” I said and I hoped I sounded good. You’re better at this sort of thing, empathy. “We’ll get him saved.”
The wall of darkness in front of us seems impassible. But let me tell you a secret about ghosts. We’ve never once given a fuck about walls. I take Katrina by the hand and I lead her into darkness. Ectoplasm flows out of your mouth, your ears and your eyes. In a wave it washes over us and flickers us out of reality. From this place to a below place. A reality under here where the dead sit.
The Ghost Zone in nature…It is a haunting thing. The world is haunted, do you know how many things have died in the world? The Zone knows. It collects the dearly departed dead.
They don’t want to move on. Frozen like things in amber they watch us pass through their world. They were here when the stars were different, when the land was new and when there was a different name for all the things that are.
We are transient. Death is eternal.
Katrina opened her eyes once we got through the shield and we saw…Well I don’t know how else to say a kids idea of a castle. Big portcullis, huge towers of flawless black stone and patrolling the walkway were towering shadowy things. Broad of shoulder and chest.
“Huh.” I said.
“Yeah that’s…yeah.” Katrina replied. “You any good in a fight?” Her hands crackle as electrical sparks leap off her webbed claws. If no humans are going to notice us inside this castle, it wouldn’t make sense to not hide any powers you might have. Would be more helpful than just a simple sword.
“Oh I’m great.” I told her. “Dennis isn’t…I’d rather not break him.”
“...Is he?”
“Unconscious.” I lied. Katrina just folded her arms. “He’s here in spirit.” God I see why you talk like this, fun as fuck.
“So, what"s the deal with you two?” Katrina had no idea how big a can of bullshit that could open.
“What about you and Lord Darkness over here?” I pointed. “Surely this is a lot.”
“Well, he’s not normally doing this, is he?” Katrina scowled. “If you don’t want your guy involved can’t you just…leave him behind?”
“Nope.” I shrugged your shoulders. “We’re a package deal twenty four hours a day.”
“Sounds…Awkward.”
“Would you like my continued assistance?” I asked and Katrina nodded.
“I just…I’m not sure I get it but.” She nodded toward the looming castle of evil and bad times. “I do get it.”
"Rest assured, Katrina. I understand the appeal of falling in love with a total moron." I shrugged. "A little tip on romance; make sure they consent before you trap their soul to your own for an endless oroboros of resurrection and repair."
Katrina made a strange face, mouth opened very slightly and then closed. Perhaps she had thought better of whatever she was about to say. "So like bondage?"
"I"m going to stab you." I hate opening up to people.
“Hey, come on,” she chuckled, patting you on the shoulder, “I don’t kink-shame. I’ve been commissioned to draw a lot worse.”
I grab her shoulder and push us forward, I can’t make other people invisible. Just you. So we have to be careful. The castle is…I don’t really know how to describe it. It looks like a grand, towering, edifice from the outside but once we get inside it’s just…
It’s just the sad little tent we were in.
Sure there’s ropes of darkness hanging from the walls, there’s a massive throne of shadows and stuff but it’s…I can still the tent’s poles through the illusion. I guess…You can only build so much with funky shadows. The meeting table we were all sat at has been redesigned as a massive onyx table of darkness…But I bet if we scratched at it then it would be the same cheap folding table from the Walmart.
“Evil on a budget.” I whisper to Katrina who tried very hard not to snort and giggle at that.
“We haven’t been seen yet. So we ca-”
“HI GUYS!”
I don’t scream. Katrina screamed. Absolutely just her. We both look up and find Scott. Hanging from the ceiling, wrapped in so many thick veiny tendrils of darkness.
“Oh my god! Scott!” I call out.
“Hi Dennis! I’ve been upside down for so long my brain is doing numbers.” He laughed. “Are you guys here to get me down now?”
“Yeah big guy.” I called out and looked at Katrina who just shrugged awkwardly. We didn’t exactly have a ladder. “We’ll umm…We gotta find a ladder.”
“Okay cool.” Scott called out. “This game hasn’t been super fun for a while, Lucas is kinda being weird.”
“CALL THE DARK LORD LUCARIAN BY NAME!” A voice boomed through the hall. “The herald of the eternal twilight, lord of the cosmic black midnight.” Lucarian strode into the room from-
“Were you hiding behind your throne this entire time?” I asked.
“No.”
“Lukie, are you being dramatic?” Katrina giggled. “God, you’re cute when you’re like this.”
“SILENCE!” He snapped.
Absolutely hiding behind his throne.
I notice Mimi still atop his head, tied down by shadowy tendrils. She wriggles with all her might, but to no use
“The Dark Lord Lucarian was casting his dark enchantments,” the mad Dark Lord continued. “Forging an army from the fertile soil The Dark Lord Lucarian has been given.” He gestured to Scott. He waved at us.
“Hi guys, I’m so fertile!”
“SILENCE FOREST SPIRIT!” Lucarian snarled, flailing. “The Dark Lord Lucarian knows not why you are talkative, but you will fall in line.”
“I don’t know what’s worse,” I sighed. “You turning into a psycho or constantly referring to yourself in the third person.”
“Lukie you’ve been blasted with some messed up dead people gunk. You’re not acting like yourself.” She held up the new dust potion we had. “So let us sprinkle this…Not…Dead person gunk on you to help.”
“Your words make it seem it is dead person gunk. Be honest, is it??” Lucarian asked, arms folded over his chest. Katrina just puffed out her cheeks.
“Noooooo.” I lied. “Absolutely not.”
“TO THE DARK LORD LUCARIAN, MINIONS!” Lucarian lifted his hands up and Scott rattled around, from the vine like tendrils that held him aloft masses of black sloughed off. They slapped to the ground wetly and from their viscous forms rose shapes. Rigid, hard, big…Buff.
“...Oh my god.” I watched three giant nude Scott shadows loom over us. “Did…Oh my god.” My head tilts. Did he have to make them anatomically correct? Who in the world could fight an army of giant naked werewolf good boys with…Oh Scott.
You lucky dog.
Katrin blushed slightly in surprise. . “I-I guess I’ve been rubbing off on you too, Lukie. All those dicks you’ve seen me draw-””
“SEIZE THEM!” Lucarian snapped. “The army shall be outfitted once we have enough material. Until then bask in the might of the Dark Lord Lucarian’s army!” he cackled
“I mean, I’m basking.” I said before I leapt out of their reach. Big clumsy things, chasing after us. Katrina shrieked and dodged to one side. As we ran from the towering nudes and I did my best not to look at them because…Honestly and I mean this with love. I don’t want to get a boner in your body.
I do so many awful things in this body. I don’t want to get a boner.
There’s more loud slaps, more thuds as more of the Scott-shadows rain down from above. Lucarian cackles, roars and belts out his horrible little laughs. I honestly don’t pay any attention because I’m doing my best not to let you get hurt.
You’re not here. I know. You’re…Wherever you are. But it’s your body, Dennis. I can’t let you get hurt. Not anymore than I already hurt you.
I’m too cautious, too careful. I turn and throw one of my foam axes at the buff attackers, it bounces harmlessly off their chiselled chests and I groan. Then one of the Scott’s slugs me in the chest, bones break, eyes water and sweet lady pain and I make up for lost time. Hooked into you like I am…I feel it, every twist, break and snap of flesh.
Scott is strong, of my god are you a strong boy Scott.
Vision goes white, hearing fuzzy.
I see Katrina release bolts of lightning from her hands, but for each Scott struck down, two more take his place. Eventually, she gets grabbed and piled on. I take a breath as a number of the Scott things lift me up, grab me and start to drag me toward the wall. Another tendril waits for me, a cocoon to trap us both. You and me.
Not again. We’re already stuck, I’m not getting stuck again. I just need…
A hand moves, yours. A lighter flicked open. Bones are broken, flesh torn, your arm moves and finds exactly what I need. The world goes dark…
The fact of the matter is that I am fighting against an army of massive shadow werewolf himbos, I am armed with a stick and a foam axe. I am wrapped in your flesh and I would sooner eat the entire world alive and screaming than willfully let you get hurt or damaged.
So...In a situation like this I think of Polly Geist and her love of Russian literature. If these are to be my last moments I regret not winding up between her thighs and trying to write the name of her favourite author"s between her legs with my tongue.
But alas- that gorgeous woman- she gave me the other greatest gift the Russian"s ever forged besides boring authors. I spark the molotov and in the land of darkness I let loose a falling star.
I don"t see Lucas" face among the darkness but that little horrified scream when the glass breaks and he"s hit with red hot shrapnel and fire? I hear that.
Music to my ears.
Then I hear you.
"I hope you weren"t waiting long. You didn"t worry, did you?"
The worst thing- and I do mean the worst thing- about our little predicament. Our little overlapping of edges, our blurring of selves Dennis? The worst part is that no matter how much I break you, no matter how ruined your flesh, how ruptured your organs, how quiet I make your heart...The worst part will always be how you forgive me.
Every single time.
When you die and you go...Wherever you go. To some far off onyx shore, to some sunless sea, to the very bottom of space and the end of time. I"ll sit in your wreckage, I"ll sit in the broken trap and I"ll make it better. I"ll rearm the mechanisms, I"ll put up better bars and then all of a sudden between blinks.
You"ll be back in your cage.
A tired smile on your face as you wrestled yourself free from eternity, as you dragged yourself from out of whatever afterlife they slotted you into back down in the pain and the aches and the agony of life.
Then you say it; just like that. Hope I wasn’t waiting long. Hope I didn’t worry.
“You shall pay for that!” Lucarian growls. “The Dark Lucarian refuses to-”
Katrina cries out as she leaps upon and tackles her boyfriend to the ground. “Release the Dark Lord Lucarian, peasant!” he roars.
“Not until my Lukie is freed!” she shouts back. “Now hold still!”
I watch through hazy eyes as Katrina grinds dead people gunk into his face… The world goes dark. Shit…I forgot what blacking out feels like.
Best catch up.
------------------
I come to. The sound of music faint in the background, the sound of a good time. But what I feel, because I’m still within you, is a hand gingerly stroking across our chest. You rub at your aches and pains because they are mine and you do your best to make sure I am comfortable.
A knot comes undone, awareness returns, I see through your eyes. The back of the car, we’re spilled across the back seats with those too long legs of yours hanging over the door-frame. Reclined, relaxing on a pile of luggage and nonsense.
“Are you okay?” I feel my mouth make these words but I don’t know which of us asked. I suppose we both would.
“Yeah.” I said. “Are you?”
“Of course I am.” You said. “Heard you saved the day. Good job.”
“Team effort, but when isn’t it?” I take a breath into your lungs. I hold it. “You were gone a bit.”
“It’s not always easy to get back.” You mumbled. “I’m back now. You didn’t worry, did you? I’m sorry.”
You"re a monster, Dennis Doe. Make no mistake. Not the kind with claws or fangs, the kind that eats people and ruins their souls. But you"re entirely inhuman in how much you"re willing to forgive and understand.
One day. I"ll set you free. One day I"ll make sure the cage is gone and you"re let go. If you come back to me after that, after you don"t have to.
I think I might be ready to accept you love me as much as I love you.
“Not at all.” I said. “Let me get out of here.”
“You can stay if you like. I don’t mind.”
I rise from you like a mist, a fog of lights rising through a ceiling of bone and flesh to look into your tired eyes, your soft smile and god why would I ever keep this view from myself? I lean forward and meet your lips with mine. Soft, chaste.
It’s fuzzy, it’s slow and as we move together, your hand traces across my back down to my-
“Oooh he’s eager.”
“Polly I could kill you.” I turned around to see her there. She’s just leaned on your legs and got that stupid look on her face.
“Nah just lemme join in.” She grinned. “Thanks for getting Scott back.”
“How did the diversion go?” I realised. “Humans okay?” She crooked her finger and the two of us sat up in the back. I covered my mouth at the sight of dozens of nerds in full costume, slumped over on tables. Flopped into little piles or hammering back drinks. She had taken the nerds and she had made them spartans of stupor.
“I’m so fucking proud of them.” Polly said a tear in her eye. “I just had to promise to make out with a couple of them and it just went nuts.”
“Oh you’re awful.”
“I made out of them!”
“Oh you’re worse.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Good work Polly. Not a one of these people is gonna remember tomorrow without their head splitting wide open.” I put a hand on her shoulder. “How’s Scott?”
“He…Basically has no idea what he went through.” I turned to see Lucas, sheepishly looking towards the ground and avoiding eye contact. He was out of his doofy costume and wearing a large jacket and jeans now. Mimi had now shapeshifted into a hat, who was looking upon her master.
“Hahaha. You’re so good at pretend Lucas.” Scott laughed as she slapped the smaller man on the back. “I really felt like you were hanging me upside down for hours.”
“Scott I was, I…Scott are you alright? That can cause brain damage.” Lucas said and Scott blinked, one eye closed slower than the other, his tongue hanging out of his mouth. “Oh that’s…Fine?”
“We won’t let him drive for a bit.” I said. “You feel better Lucarian?”
“It’s Lucas and…Yes. I am.” He rubbed his head. “I can’t believe I got cursed at a pretend magical meet up.”
“It’s a one in a million.” You shrugged. “So long as you’re feeling better.”
“I’ve had…An excellent bedside nurse.”
“If he acts evil or gets a bit TOO in character,” Katrina said, “I put him in a headlock until he stops.” She flashed a smile that was all blades and teeth. “We’re so sorry this turned out nuts.”
“Why are you apologising?” Lucas raised a brow. “I’m the one who got you all into this mess.
“Hey don’t be.” Polly held up a fat wad of cash. “All these nerds spent some hard bank on Chesty Liquor. So we’re loaded up for our next couple of stops.”
“I could use staying at a really nice hotel.” You said. “I am so stiff.”
“Hey I can tell, we caught you two at a bad time.” Polly nudged you and I wanted to swing at her. “Thanks babe.” She slung an arm around my shoulders and for the second time today I found my lips meeting with another’s.
Polly’s kiss was not chaste, it was not delicate and it came with a stupendous amount of tongue. When she leaned back there was a loud audible pop and the feeling of her tongue as it dragged across mine on the way out left me…So very horny and utterly speechless.
“Fuck.” I muttered.
“Maybe if we’re lucky.” I heard you say and I think I nearly had a stroke.
“Seems like we ain’t the only ones that will have a sexy night, eh, Lukie?” Katrina purred.
“I…” Lucas coughed, trying not to look his girlfriend in the eyes. “I suppose I do owe you after all this.”
“Owe me?” Katrina tilted her head. “You get as much enjoyment out of this as I do.” Mimi, despite being a hat, seemed to nod at this statement.
“I just.” Lucas sighed, slumping down on a nearby chair. “I hate that I caused all of this. Endangered so many people. Endangered you. How could you even forgive-”
His venting came to a halt as Katrina’s bear-like grip wrapped around his body. “No more getting mad at yourself. Please,” Katrina sniffed. “That was the Dark Lord Lucarian. You’re not him. You’re you. The one who’s been by my side ever since we were kids. The monster I love. My Lukie.”
Lucas doesn’t speak, only letting the single tear forming in his eye speak for him. He finally reaches his own arms around Katrina and locks his lips with hers. Mimi doesn’t even gag this time; letting the lovebirds finish their make-out session.
“Anyways,” Lucas finally coughs, “we have to get out of here. Just in case someone remembers, Katrina and I have packed up our stuff.”
“Yeah we’re gonna do a warp in a bit. Oh!” Katrina snapped her fingers. “If you want, I can give you guys a free commission. Just as a way to say thanks.”
“Hey let us drive you to a hotel.” You said. “So you can relax.” I felt a smile tug at my lips.
“Lucas…I think I know a perfect way for us to get out of here. You two hop in, Polly grab Scott.”
We all piled into the car and I put it in gear. I drove into the grounds full of drunken larpers and everyone looked just a little worried and then I got the car level with a bright and colourful stall.
“Lucas, this is the guy selling magic.” I said and looked at him. He stared for a moment, eyes focused. I revved the engine.
“I’m not personally one for causing violence outside of this setting, but I am more than willing to give an exception, just this once .” Lucas’s face morphed into a sly grin as he turned to Katrina, giving the same expression. “Shall we?”
“Oh yes, let’s,” she smirked back.
We shot forward and I heard a loud scream as a little octo-thing leapt to safety as we demolished his stall.
Who said you can’t have real fun playing pretend?