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RAIN : 4:03 AM SUNDAY (CURRENT DAY) – HOME

Consciousness comes slowly to Rain; it’s a gradual unveiling, fine and gossamer, as he drifts up into wakefulness. He has the unsettling feeling that something happened, but he’s not awake enough for memory to take hold, and too sleepy to care. He is still too deep beneath the veil between dreaming and waking.

Rain is increasingly aware that he needs to use the restroom, but he doesn’t want to get up.

Ugh.

But he has to.

Rain’s eyes open to darkness. He pushes up onto his elbow and the movement sends his head spinning more than it should. It’s just past 4:00 a.m. by the digital clock glowing red and blurry in his vision.

He rubs his eyes. He’s still stuck in the sluggish sleep-addle that allows for no immediate short-term memory.

Rain rolls onto his back and reaches out for Payu. His hand makes contact with Payu’s warm hip. He doesn’t have to worry; he’s home next to Payu, whose chest is rising and falling beside him with sleep-softened breath. They are warm and safe beneath the covers and he can smell the bergamot-sandalwood of Payu’s cologne. They must have been too tired to shower. Whatever happened can’t be too bad if he is there with Payu sleeping soundly beside him.

He groans softly and sits up to dangle his feet over the side of the bed. He feels off and his head has a dull ache that confirms dehydration. He must have been drinking. He’ll have to bring a cup of water back for himself, and one for Payu.

The next thing he becomes aware of is a deep ache there. Apparently he and Payu had fun—-too much fun. As he pushes out of bed in his sleep-haze, he realizes that’s not the only area that aches. He feels tender all over, some muscles pulling sharply with pain and other areas throbbing dully. It feels like he got mauled by something fierce.

He makes his way from bed, through the room, and to their shared bathroom. He yawns and covers the curve of his neck into shoulder with his hand. His neck really hurts…

He is hit with the sudden disconcerting notion that something bad did happen; it’s an uncomfortable clenched feeling of concern manifests in the curl of his stomach. He just needs to wake up a bit more and…

He flicks the bathroom light on.

His heart shoots right up through his chest and he barely realizes he’s making a strangled cry of shock that garbles in his throat.

He’s covered in bruises–hickeys.

Covered.

He turns his back to the mirror and looks over his shoulder. Not just hickeys, but full freaking bite marks.

Holy. Shit.

The worst is a massive red bite mark at the juncture of his neck and shoulder.

“Oh my god..!!”

The memory of it all comes crashing down on him: Payu’s eyes dark with ferocity, fingers and nails digging into skin, lips and teeth dragging over him, the tongue on his neck and beneath his ear. And Payu’s voice….

…his voice...

Payu’s voice had been primal and possessive in a way that tingled up from the base of Rain’s spine straight up into his brain.

Mine.

…You’re Mine...

Say you’re Mine.

Rain presses his hands into the cold countertop and tries to breathe.

Mine.

Oh fuck.

Rain shivers.

Mine.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~TWO WEEKS BEFORE*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

PAYU: 4:00 AM SATURDAY – HOME

It doesn’t happen often, but it still happens. He has dreams of that night. Sometimes he’s at the house and Rain’s not there; Payu paces and calls and paces. The sinking feeling settles deep within the pit of his stomach. Rain is gone. Rain is in trouble; he knows it. Sometimes the call comes. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it’s Rain. Sometimes it’s Stop. He’s just looking and looking and waiting and waiting… unable to do anything at all.

Sometimes he’s in the abandoned building with Rain just out of reach. He crawls, he begs, he takes the fists and the kicks. Sometimes he saves Rain. Sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes the worst happens.

Tonight is one of those nights.

He can’t breathe. He can’t breathe and his heart is pounding. He sits suddenly upright and for a moment he’s not sure what’s real and what’s not. He reaches out and his hand connects to Rain’s warm hip where the comforter’s edge is draped over him.

Rain is home. They’re both home. They’re both safe.

His heart aches.

He presses the heels of his palms over his eyes and tries to breathe. He slips out of bed for a glass of water and an aspirin. When he returns, he gets beneath the covers and fixes them so Rain is securely tucked tight. He settles with his arm around him and his chin tucked over Rain’s shoulder.

It’s never happening again. Rain will not be in that position again. Payu will make sure of it.

~*~*~

By the time Payu opens his eyes to soft sunlight, the clenched feeling in his stomach fades, but is not entirely gone. It’s still there, and the discomfort skirts at the edges of his mind; today it’s in tandem with the physical ache that occasionally manifests as tenderness in his fractured pinky.

He takes it as a reminder to be grateful every day of the precious treasure he still possesses: Rain is alive, Rain is his, and Rain is happy.

Payu is going to keep it that way.

Today is Saturday and it starts like every other Saturday now that Rain has graduated. Payu is awake before Rain, kisses his forehead, then slips out of bed to get dressed quietly and let Rain sleep a little bit longer. He makes coffee downstairs, handles some chores, and works out before Rain wakes.

Wonderfully, today is one of these lovely and rare days where neither of them have any plans or obligations until the race later that night, so they settle into a companionable morning together. It’s a pleasant beginning of the weekend, and Payu can’t help but muse with a warm feeling in his heart that this is all he wants out of life. This would be his ideal heaven: Rain next to him on a calm morning.

Payu is reading on the couch and Rain is next to him. The lines of their bodies from shoulders to thighs are nestled up together. Payu’s arm rests leisurely around the back of Rain’s shoulder. Payu’s fingertips rest over the curve of his shoulder and play softly over the fabric.

It’s quiet – peaceful. Payu likes these placid moments spent together. Even if their thoughts are somewhere else entirely, he is just content that Rain’s presence is right there beside him.

Safe and sound.

Happy.

Payu likes how far they have come. Every day is another day that furthers the meld of their hearts and lives. Rain stays over a majority of the time–even more so now that he’s graduated. Payu likes the knowledge that one day it will be just them in a beautiful house–a beautiful life– that they are making together. Payu is still working toward crafting this for them, but the most important part has happened; Rain is his and he is Rain’s.

Payu wonders if Rain knows just how much he belongs to him. Rain has ensnared his heart just as much as Payu ever ensnared Rain…

Morning sunlight streams in through the window where Rain turns the page of a book. Rain’s engagement ring catches the sunlight, a silvery glint that draws and holds Payu’s focus. Payu watches as Rain reads and absently fiddles his thumb over the silvery band.

Payu abandons reading. Rain turns another page.

Payu rests his own book down on his knee and just watches as Rain’s warm eyes glide back and forth over the pages. The way the sun is hitting him makes Rain’s eyes glow warm-brown; the warmth of it makes Payu’s heart go soft with affection. This is his sweet boy with sweet eyes and a sweet mouth…

…which he very much wants to kiss at this moment.

Rain finally notices something is amiss; he goes still for a moment, then turns his head directly into Payu’s close-range gaze. Their noses almost bump. Rain’s eyebrows raise in mild surprise. “Hi. What are you looking at?”

“The cute one who is reading next to me.”

Rain’s mouth tucks into a somewhat shy, but mostly pleased smile. Rain is still fiddling with his ring.

“Is it uncomfortable?” Payu takes Rain’s hand in his own and smoothes the pads of his fingers over the ring, pressing it between his thumb and his index finger, as if he could test the comfort of it for himself.

“Hm?” Rain’s eyebrows lift and his expression eases. “Oh, the ring?” He shakes his head and draws his hand to the center of his chest, a reflex that shows Payu that Rain considers the ring precious. “I’m still getting used to it; it’s not uncomfortable at all.” He hesitates and adds almost bashfully in admission, “… I just like feeling it.”

Rain looks so shy and vulnerable that Payu’s heart contracts with love. He feels a sharp-sweet pang that’s so familiar; he’s falling in love all over again.

He feels like he’s perpetually falling in love with this ridiculous boy. It’s a constant waterfall of feeling: sometimes trickling with gentle fondness and sometimes roaring with overwhelming intensity, but always falling, falling, falling….. an unending river of feeling.

Rain looks down at the ring on his finger then back at Payu. Rain closes the distance between them with a soft peck to his mouth.

Payu returns Rain’s kiss and leans his head against Rain’s in an affectionate nuzzle. He takes Rain’s hand in his own and links their fingers, then draws Rain’s hand up to his mouth and kisses the space over the engagement ring.

Sometimes he still cannot believe it worked out the way it did; sometimes it feels like fate — the storm, his set square, the photo sent to him by their frat-mates. But whether it’s fate or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that it did happen and he’s here and he said yes.

He said yes.

He brushes his fingertips over the fine hairs at the back of Rain’s neck.

All that’s left now is to keep Rain happy.

He gazes down at their hands held between them, resting on their thighs. Rain is looking at him. Rain leans in. “P’Payu, you look happy.”

“I am happy. You make me happy.”

“Mmm..” Rain frowns playfully. “Is it me? Or is it the fact that you finally locked this darling down? You’re lucky I said yes,” he says as he raises his ringed finger between them, inspecting it. Rain’s eyes refocus on Payu, and Payu can see the barely concealed, haughty mischief in his eyes. And he had just been thinking those eyes were so sweet!

The little brat.

Payu flashes his dark eyes at him. “You’ve already said yes; it’s too late to back out. I won’t let you escape. You’re mine now whether you like it or not,” he says and moves both of their books out of the way so he can maneuver up onto his knees on the couch cushion.

“We’re not married yet!” Rain protests. Rain is already shifting backwards, slowly squirming away from Payu. Payu moves forward, hunting him down. Rain is not fast enough, but Payu knows he’s not really trying to get away. He pushes forward and presses Rain down into the cushions. “No escaping.”

Rain lets out a low sound, almost a whine; it’s this sound —a sound that is suspended somewhere between wanting and not wanting—that makes Payu’s blood run hot. It’s a pitch Rain has perfected and it makes Payu crazy--his own personal siren’s song.

The things you do to me…

Rain squirms beneath him, but Payu has him firmly held down into the couch with hands on his wrists. “No sense struggling.”

Rain shimmies beneath him from side to side like an unruly eel. However, beneath the weight of Payu straddling Rain’s hips and downward pressure on his shoulders, there is no escape. Rain settles into his defeat and gazes up at him, chin lifted in subtle defiance though his eyes dance with delight.

“See? Now be a good boy so I don’t have to punish you,” Payu says and lifts his mouth into a smile of amused satisfaction. Rain pulls a pout and gives a half-hearted heave in struggle. Payu presses down, an emphasis on Rain’s entrapment.

“I’m not yours yet,” Rain protests, but they both know that’s a lie.

This is all just a game. And, because it’s a game, Payu threatens, “then I’ll have to make you mine, naughty boy.”

Rain pauses and Payu sees him shudder in a way that is all too familiar; Rain is turned on. Rain licks his lips and asks, “What are you going to do?”

“Whatever I want,” he says, but what he is actually doing is giving Rain what he wants. Payu rarely needs to wonder because he knows Rain’s signals; Rain wants to be pinned down, which is fine, because Payu wants to pin him.

He can practically see Rain’s mouth going dry.

“I’m going to make you mine,” he reasserts, both as a threat and a sweet promise. He releases the grip on one of Rain’s wrists to gently run the back of his hand down from Rain’s temple and down cheek. He curls his fingers beneath his chin and lifts it so that Rain must look at him directly.

Rain’s eyes go wide and his pupils dilate. The light is hitting them again, making them radiant with warmth in the morning sunlight.

“When I own something,” Payu says, dropping his voice to be deep and serious; he wants this to seep into the core of Rain. He wants it to go so deep that it reverberates into the center of his being. He wants his very spirit to quaver under the intensity, “I own it…”

He moves down slowly.

“...heart…”

He nips his teeth over the curve of Rain’s chin and Rain gasps sharply.

“...body…”

He smooths his hand over Rain’s chest and ever downward. Rain is trembling.

“..and soul.”

Rain lets out a long, keening sound as Payu bites into the sweet spot of his neck; any remnant of Rain’s resistance melts to nothing.

~*~*~
PAYU: THAT NIGHT 3:30 A.M. SUNDAY – THE RACETRACK

The lights are bright over the tent where Payu is doing a final check over on the red Ducati. It’s dark out and it’s a little chilly. The impromptu track is buzzing with activity: people coming, people going, everyone excited.

It’s race night. And, at the race, Rain is protected. Everyone knows now: Rain is ‘Payu’s boy’. No one bothers Rain; Sky, Prapai, Chai, and the grid girls see to it when Payu can’t, though Payu is always keeping half an eye on him.

He looks up from the red Ducati he has his hands on. He wipes the spot of grease on his finger into the rag halfway out of his pocket.

He feels Rain’s presence like another sense; in actuality, it’s that he’s always hyper aware of Rain. Right now he is tucked away into a snug corner with Sky and the grid girls. Payu glances over and sees they are still chatting. Rain catches his gaze and his eyes brighten; he rocks up onto his toes and gives Payu a wave and a smile. It’s cute – cute and earnest.

He feels the corners of his heart soften.

“And you say I’m whipped?”

Payu pauses where he’s crouched and tilts his head just enough to see the handsome (and presently irritating) face of his best friend. Payu returns, “You say it like you aren’t?”

Prapai shoves his hands into his jacket pockets and frowns in pretend thoughtfulness. “I am,” he says, expression melting into nothing short of love-sick as his gaze locks onto the grouping of Rain, the grid girls, and Sky. “And I don’t hear you denying it either.”

Payu shrugs and doesn't answer. Prapai continues, “Did you get your invitation? Are you taking Rain?”

Someone is approaching Rain’s little group - a guest with an unfamiliar face. The grid girls smile, there is some exchange of pleasantries that he can see, then the girls are pointing the gentlemen away. Payu relaxes; the man has left and Rain remains safely with his small social group. Nothing to worry about.

He sighs softly.

The red Ducati is ready to go again.

Payu finally raises his eyebrows slightly at Prapai and gives him a slight nod. He did get his invitation: a dinner event at Vertigo. “Is it optional?” he asks in a dry tone; they both know it’s not. Payu will have to take Rain and Prapai will be obligated to bring Sky. “I still need to talk to him about it. I don’t like it. Far too many assholes at these events.”

“Just like here.”

“Mmm,” Payu agrees, looking over the seat of the motorcycle toward where Rain is happily engaged in conversation. Rain looks sufficiently content. Rain is safe. “But here,” he raises his dark eyes at Prapai, “Everyone knows he’s mine.”

Prapai just laughs softly, hands in pockets. “He’ll have Sky with him. And us. They’ll be fine.”

Payu frowns and gets back to work. Rain is not going to like this; mafia-related events outside of the races make him nervous.

He squeezes his fingers into his palm. Even though it’s technically healed, the ache along the line of the fracture in his little finger is back.

Must be the chill.

~*~*~
PAYU: 8:30 PM TWO WEEKS LATER – VERTIGO, BANYAN HOTEL

Payu sits at an intimate table with Rain, Prapai, and Sky. Technically these kinds of events are meant for mingling and introductions, but Payu managed to pull some strings to get them a table that he hopes will put Rain more at ease; so, they sit with Sky and Prapai at a table tucked in an out-of-the-way corner. He wants Rain to feel comfortable—well—as comfortable as possible.

Rain is next to him, their fingers linked and resting on Payu’s thigh as Payu and Prapai carry the majority of conversation. Rain’s being unusually quiet, but Payu’s not surprised. When Rain is nervous, he gets this way. Rain is sitting straight-backed and his leg vibrates unceasing beneath the table. He gives Rain’s hand a firm squeeze, wishing he could ease Rain’s anxiety with that alone.

I’m here. You’re with me. You’re safe.

He wishes Rain could relax enough to enjoy the evening because it’s beautiful out tonight. It’s a perfect evening to enjoy Vertigo, the restaurant and bar that sits atop the 59-story high Banyan Hotel.

Tonight is particularly beautiful because there is a fine mist over Bangkok; the distant, twinkling lights of the city from far below light up fog in brilliant pinks, blues, and purples. It’s like the mist itself is glowing.

The overall look of Vertigo itself is a matching glow of color, which makes for a particularly magical and trendy ambiance. It’s full of dim up-lighting in neon blues and purples. Their table is covered in white linen, which is reflecting the purple from the neon floor lights nearby.

He’ll have to take Rain here sometime when he’ll be more relaxed… and not surrounded by the mafia men who are making him so nervous.

At some point he and Prapai will have to leave Rain and Sky behind while they go to the Moon Bar, the place where Pakin will hold his social calls for the evening. This makes Payu a little leery because he won't be able to keep constant watch over Rain; the restaurant is built to have several different levels and bar areas, each at varying heights.

In any case, he will do his best to relax Rain up until that point.

During a lull in conversation, where Prapai’s attention is turned to Sky, Payu finds Rain looking up at him. Rain presses his face into Payu’s shoulder and squeezes his eyes shut. Payu leans his head over and kisses Rain’s hair. “What is it?”

Rain gazes up at him with big eyes from where his nose is pressed to Payu’s shoulder. “Nothing,” Rain says in a soft voice, but Payu knows it’s not true.

Rain needs reassurance, so Payu presses a kiss to his hair, and says, “You’re going to be fine, sweet boy.” He squeezes Rain’s fingers gently.

For the most part he leaves Rain out of any mafia business, but unfortunately for Rain some nights it’s unavoidable. Like tonight. Attending “single” isn’t exactly an option, especially now that Payu and Rain are engaged and with Payu as close with Pakin as he is.

The unfortunate reality is that Rain is going to have to become more comfortable with Pakin.

Baby steps.

“You’re right here by me. And, when Prapai and I make our social call, just stay here with Sky. You’re going to be fine.”

He brings their interlocked hands to his mouth and kisses the back of Rain’s; it’s meant as reassurance, though it seems to have little effect. He looks at his fiancé, who looks back, mouth compressed from nerves. “Be my good boy tonight; be my brave boy.”

Rain nods a little, but Payu sees that he’s still tense.

No one’s going to start any shit, especially not at a formal event under the watchful eye of Pakin and his inner circle, but he hates seeing Rain so inconsolably anxious.

Payu kisses his hair again and adjusts so that he can put one arm around Rain’s shoulders and hold his hand with the other. Rain is usually calmer when Payu has his arms around him.

And, by the time he needs to go, Rain’s leg is no longer jiggling so much.

~*~*~
RAIN: 10:15 PM – VERTIGO, BANYAN HOTEL

It’s near the end of their dinner when conversation has primarily become Prapai and Payu talking shop that Chai approaches. Rain has been content to just listen and leisurely finish up the remaining scraps of his dinner.

Prapai’s eyebrows raise as Chai comes to a stand near the corner of their table. “He’s ready for us?”

Chai nods and says in agreement, “He’s ready.”

Rain’s heart drops a little; this means Payu is going to leave him.

Payu leans in to kiss Rain on the top of the head and takes his face in both hands. “I have to go for a little bit; it won’t be long, so you can just stay here with Sky, all right?”

Rain had finally been able to let himself slip into letting the knowledge fade into the background that he is surrounded by mafia and dangerous-types (like Chai). It’s not that he necessarily thinks something will happen, but he just doesn’t know how to be anything other than nervous around them; he still feels the uncertain and chilly fear. After all, if Payu hadn’t been there to save him when he sneaked into the race, he’d be dead.

The cold dread sits in his heart as heavy as a stone.

Payu squeezes his shoulder. “You’re going to be fine,” Payu says for like the hundredth time that night, but Rain doesn’t feel like it’s any more true for it. Payu is still holding his gaze, eyes dark and steady. He leans in so that his mouth is just by his ear, the breath tickling the fine hairs there. “You’re mine. Just stay with Sky and you’ll be fine.”

Payu turns his head to Sky, who is across the table with his arms folded and his mouth in a soft frown. “Please watch him for me?”

This rankles Rain, even though just a moment ago in his heart he desperately did want to cling to Sky while Prapai and Payu–their respective protectors–are absent. He wants to say: I’m not a child and I don’t need to be babysat! but Payu and Prapai are already following behind Chai and heading for the Moon Bar.

Rain’s sudden irritation supplants his dread.

Rain pouts and crosses his arms and voices it to Sky instead: “I don’t need to be babysat.”

Sky’s eyebrows raise and he says nothing to the contrary, but Rain knows what he’s thinking.

“I don’t!”

“Mmm,” Sky says. “What exactly are you going to do? Go wander about?”

“Maybe! I could–I don’t know–go get a drink at the bar over there!”

“Oh?” Sky leans in and says in a whisper, “Even with all the… mafia around?”

“I..” he says as his heart falters, as he feels the trembling shiver run right up through his insides. But, damn it, if Prapai, Payu, and Sky of all people feel so comfortable surrounded by mafia and businessmen-who-do-business-with-mafia, why shouldn’t the hell he be?

Besides! Payu told him to be brave tonight, so brave he’ll be!

He stands up abruptly. “I’m going to the bar.”

“Uh-huh. Okay then. Go to the bar. I’ll be right here. ’Watching over you.’”

Rain scowls. It’s only like five tables away; Sky doesn’t need to watch over him, but whatever! “Watch me then! I will! I’m going right now.” He pushes up from his seat to stand, feeling nettled.

“I’ll see you in a few minutes then.”

“Okay then.”

Sky’s eyebrows are still slightly raised as Rain turns.

Rain walks with his back straight and his annoyance fueling his bravery. He takes the first few steps forward toward the bar and his bravery flags as he passes by some serious looking men in suits, but pride is what carries him through to the low-lit bar where the bartenders are urgently working hard.

He clears his throat and shifts his weight to lean against the polished wood of the bar and catch someone’s attention. A bartender pops up from where he has ducked down for ice and quickly transitions to shaking a metal tumbler; he’s finishing someone else’s drink.

“How may I help you, sir?”

Rain realizes he had in no way contemplated which drink he was going to get; truthfully, he doesn’t even want another beyond what he had at dinner. He just wants to prove to Sky–and himself–that he can be brave in the place where Payu and Prapai are in their element. More importantly, he needs to prove it to himself.

Brave boy.

He’s got this.

Maybe this will all be fine and he’s just being stupid about the whole thing. He’s Payu’s boy and if he’s Payu’s boy he needs to be more brave about all this. He just wishes he didn’t feel so anxious. He just can’t help it.

“I’ll, um,” he says, mind going a little blank and he orders the first thing that pops into his mind. “... have a whiskey sour!”

Wait! Aaaghh!!! He doesn’t even like whiskey sours!

Whiskey sours are a Payu drink for the rare times he has a cocktail rather than straight whiskey. But it’s too late and he is already feeling inadequate and even if he changes his mind he doesn’t know what to get.

The waiter murmurs a gentle, “Right away, sir.”

Oh! Does he need to pay? Did he bring cash? Shoot! Hopefully they accept cards? He realizes he doesn’t know if Payu is paying for their dinner or if this is an on-the-house kind of event.

He is fumbling with his wallet when another patron slides up beside him. There’s more than enough space at the bar, so Rain slides away to give him space, with a murmured, “Sorry, Phii,” even though he was there first. However, the man’s eyes are on him and his mouth is curling up in amusement.

The man is tall and handsome. He is much older and wearing a dark slim-fit suit with the faintest of red stripes. In his pocket is a tucked-in red kerchief. He’s also wearing a deeply red cravat. His hair has gray streaks and it makes him look suave rather than old.

The smile gives Rain a strange feeling. It’s an intense and hungry look; it makes him feel like an awkward gazelle under the steady and surveying gaze of a mature lion. Rain fumbles his wallet right out of his hands and it drops to the floor.

The man bends down and is handing the leather wallet to Rain before Rain even realizes what’s happening. The gentleman presses the wallet into his hand and his fingertips brush over his skin. He’s not letting go and Rain is being touched more than is socially acceptable.

Weird.

“Oh, um, thanks…” Rain pulls his hand away so he can hunt for his cash.

The man’s eyes crinkle at the corners as he sends Rain another glinting smile. It’s handsome; even Rain can see that.

The gentleman places a handful of bills down and without taking his gaze from Rain says, “I’ll get his too. Vodka–Grey Goose– for me.”

“Oh you don’t need to…” Rain says, but trails off as the bartender has already accepted the cash on both of their behalfs. The gentleman is still looking at him. Rain feels a bit frozen under that gaze, like it’s holding him to the spot. It reminds him a little of when Payu turns his dark and steady gaze on him, using it to pin him down.

He feels the hairs on the back of his neck rise; something feels dangerous here.

“Thanks…” Rain finds it hard to swallow as he retrieves his drink from the bartender who has set it down neatly just in front of him.

He takes a hesitant sip of it; maybe he’ll like it better than the last time Payu let him try it. He wrinkles his nose; it’s still too sour and the bite of the whiskey is too strong–blegh! The only thing he finds pleasant about it is the initial mellow sweetness of the sip before the bite of citrus and sting of whiskey take over.

A deep and rich chuckle startles Rain. The gentleman is still there. “You’re cute,” he says, voice just as deep and rich.

Rain’s heart flips over in a confused flutter. “What?”

Why the heck is this guy still talking to him??

“You’re cute.” The gentleman is still smiling, a dimple on one cheek where his smile is attractively lopsided.

Oh. Is this guy… flirting with him? This can’t be right…

Rain is just trying to process what the heck is happening when the man is suddenly in his space with his breath tickling against his ear, “Want to fuck?”

Rain’s heart dies in his chest and his breath gets caught up somewhere mid-throat. Every part of him seizes up in frozen shock. He can’t breathe; he can’t think.

What is he supposed to do here? No one has even hit on him other than Payu and the fact that it is happening feels surreal.

The gentleman seems to take his silence as acquiescence rather than what it is—sheer shock and confusion. The breath trails down beneath Rain’s ear and to his neck, which sends Rain’s brain spiraling.

How does he get out of this? He needs to move his feet. He needs to do something other than have his brain and heart stutter uselessly!

Rain! Move!

The gentleman’s lips brush against the skin of his neck, just beneath the corner of jawline.

!!!??!?

The gentleman’s fingertips graze the curve of his shoulder blade then ghost down the line of his back. His hand comes to rest–then squeeze--his ass.

He feels like he just might die of shock.

What?! No.. No!!

Rain finally breaks free of his frozen state and takes a step back, drawing out of the gentleman’s space. He claps a hand over his neck where he still feels the lingering sensation of breath and lips on him. “N-no thank you.”

The man’s dark eyes linger on him then shift to the side slightly as Rain takes another step back… right into another person. He’s about to gasp out an apology when a strong hand grips him beneath the elbow and at the side of his hip.

He can tell just from the grip who has caught him; it’s Payu!

Relief floods Rain as Payu tugs him backward into the safety of his hold.

Oh, thank god!

Sure enough, he recognizes the voice just beside his ear. “P’Strong,” Payu says, which must be the man’s name, and Rain can hear the subtle aggression brimming beneath the surface, “I see you’ve met Rain. My Fiancé.” The way Payu subtly emphasizes the word ‘fiancé’ conveys it all: Mine.

Rain’s heart is filled with warmth at being saved and his stomach goes warm and fluttery from Payu asserting ownership over him.

I am his, Rain thinks fervently, as if the thought alone could brand him as Payu’s for all to see. He can finally breathe again, though his heart is still pounding in his ears. Payu’s grip on him remains strong and steady. He’s Payu’s. He’s protected.

Strong’s eyes move from Payu, to Rain, and then back to Payu again. Rain feels like he’s caught up between two storm fronts. The air between them feels static with tension, like an inevitable clash is forthcoming with lighting and thunder.

Strong is no longer smiling to charm Rain; it’s a smile of defeat, but his eyes are still twinkling and Rain doesn’t understand why there’s mirth there. “Ah, so this is the infamous Rain.”

Infamous?!

“Mmm,” Payu says. “Enjoying your evening?”

The words themselves that Strong and Payu are exchanging are civil on their face, but Rain hears the hostility beneath.

“I was,” Strong says and Rain doesn’t like the way that he’s looking at him–looking him over. “Congratulations on your… impending nuptials,” Strong says, though Rain is pretty sure he doesn’t mean it.

“Thank you,” Payu says, and Rain knows he doesn’t mean that either.

Strong’s dark eyebrows quirk upward. He raises his glass at the two of them and he takes his leave, vodka in hand, with an, “Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

This exchange doesn’t stop Strong from giving Rain a further, thorough once over that makes Rain feel dirty, like the mere act of Strong looking him over sullies him.

Ick. Gross.

But Strong goes and Rain exhales a breath he didn’t even realize he has been holding. Rain still feels unsettled; it was a dire situation that was just barely averted.

Rain quickly realizes he’s not out of the woods yet, because Payu spins him around in his arms so that Rain is facing him. His eyes are hard. Rain momentarily worries that the hardness is for him, but Payu isn’t looking at him; he’s still looking past him at Strong, who is working his way through the tables and small groupings of other socializing patrons.

Rain can still feel the hard lines of tension in Payu’s body; Payu still hasn’t let go of Rain and his hands are gripped firmly on his hip bones. Payu half-steps forward, but Rain is in his way.

He needs to bring Payu back, but he’s not sure how. Payu has a too-intense look in his eyes. If he’s honest, it’s a little bit scary. He doesn’t like to see Payu like this; the last time he saw this was…

His heart thumps.

… back then. If Payu’s dark eyes could kill, Stop would have been dead three times over. It’s the same look in Payu’s eyes now; they’re glittering, hard and dark.

It’s rage.

Rain needs to bring him down–bring him back. The last time he’d succeeded in soothing him was by employing a tactic of gentle and imploring pleas. He’ll try this again.

“P’Payu,” he says tentatively, but Payu’s gaze doesn’t come back to Rain; it’s still trained on Strong. Rain gently tugs on his shirt, but it becomes clear Payu isn’t really hearing him.

He tries again by taking Payu’s face in both hands and bringing himself into Payu’s line of vision. He entreats again, “P’Payu. Don’t scare your darling. Come back to me, baby.”

Payu’s dark eyes flash down at Rain, then beyond him to track Strong. Payu’s mouth is a compressed line; his jaw is firmly set; his gaze viciously focused.

Payu’s still not hearing Rain. He tries again.”P’Payu! I’m okay. Nothing happened. I’m okay!”

He doesn’t understand why Payu is this upset. People get hit on all the time! Irritated and possessive, sure, but this degree of livid??

Rain curls his mouth into a frowning pout and tries to be cute.

“P’Payu!” Rain says, trying a whine. He gently tugs at him, but sees little result in softening all of Payu’s hard edges. He’s just too distant with distraction. Rain can practically see the crashing storm clouds of Payu’s feelings.

Being gentle and imploring isn’t working. What can he do? What should he do?!

Payu’s hands are shifting up his body and he’s side-stepping again, like he’s going to step around Rain and go after Strong.

Rain swallows and grips Payu by both shoulders, keeping in his way. He digs deep for a tone he’s never used. He doesn’t even know if he can make it hit. Rain takes a sharp breath then says authoritatively, “P’Payu, look at me.”

And just like that, Payu is looking at him.

There!

Oh good lord, what did he just do…?

His heart beats like crazy.

~*~*~

PAYU

…What did Rain just say to him?

Look at me.

It’s a shock to his heart. It’s not the words themselves, but how Rain says them.

Look at me.

It’s a shock to his very being. The words are so clear and strong; they’re a tight fist around the angry coil that is currently his heart. Rain is holding him with those words, wrestling his attention, wrestling his feelings from the angry pull toward Strong.

And those eyes.

There is sharp and clear determination in Rain’s rich, brown eyes.

“P’Payuuu!” Rain whines gently, and fierceness is gone as quick as it had come, replaced by the wheedling cuteness Payu expects from Rain. Rain makes a face with a full, outward pout of his lips. “You’re scaring your darling. Come back to me, baby.”

What in the hell just happened?

Rain’s slender fingers are warm on his face.

Rain is right here.

This is what’s important.

He’s right here.

“I’m right here, baby,” Rain says, a mirror to his thoughts. “Nothing happened. I’m safe, baby. I’m right here.”

Payu looks at his fiancé’s sweetly pouting face.

He pulls Rain into an immediate hug. He presses his nose to the corner of his neck and shoulder and kisses the space where his lips are already touching. He closes his eyes and just holds him tight around the back.

How does Rain so accurately intuit his thoughts?

“Hey, hey…” Rain says, arms winding around Payu in return. “There you are…”

Rain is right here, warm and safe in his arms and smelling like lavender and cedar… and the slightest hint of cigarette smoke.

Payu’s fury flares.

Fucking Strong!

He’s going to kill him.

But, Rain’s fingers are feeling so nice playing into the hair at the nape of his neck. His anger fades a little —just enough— to keep him from hunting Strong down. He kisses Rain’s skin again and sighs.

His heart is still thumping angrily in his chest, but he feels less homicidal. Slightly.

Rain is the one who disengages from their embrace first, but only enough to touch their foreheads together. Rain is looking up at Payu under the tilt of their faces and proceeds to say something else shocking: “We need to go see P’Pakin.”

Did the world just turn upside down?

The last thing Rain would ever do is suggest seeing Pakin. Payu has been trying for ages to facilitate a more congenial relationship between them, but apparently Payu’s initial spanking had driven the point home too well that mafia are not to be messed with. Rain has remained terrified despite Payu’s repeated attempts to assure him Pakin is actually quite the decent guy.

And here Rain is suggesting—of his own volition— that they see Pakin.

“That's why you came back so soon, isn’t it? P’Pakin wants to see me too?”

Payu finally finds his voice and nods, “He wants to congratulate us personally. On the engagement.”

“Then we better not keep him waiting, hm?”

Rain!

His brave boy—

Payu hugs him again, briefly, before letting go and finding Rain’s hand to hold.

—willing to brave Pakin just to keep him out of a fist-fight.

How did Payu get so lucky to find this phenomenal boy?

~*~*~

RAIN

Why the hell did he suggest this?

His stomach feels taut and hollowed out with anxiety. Rain holds Payu’s hand, not sure if it’s to keep Payu or himself tethered as they wind their way through the tables and up the stairs toward the Moon Bar.

Pakin is there, lounging casually with his hip against the neon-lit bar with his entourage of men scattered about. Rain swallows and bolsters himself; he can do this.

For Payu.

His heart feels like it's about to beat right out of his chest, but this is important. Braving a meeting with Pakin for Payu is important.

He is Payu’s boy after all.

It’s with his resolution held in his heart that he takes a deep breath and straightens his back as they step out onto the landing of the chic bar.

Payu’s arm comes to rest casually around his lower back, hand curled over his hip. He knows what Payu is doing, and it’s working; even if his anxiety doesn't ease completely, he feels protected.

Pakin straightens as Payu and Rain make their way toward his grouping of men, a mixture of his inner circle and neatly dressed security. Pakin’s smile is perfunctory, but kind as he greets them, “Rain, Payu.”

“Phii,” Rain says softly, barely even able to get that out.

Payu nods at Pakin, already having greeted him earlier.

Pakin’s gaze goes from one to the other, but ultimately comes to rest on Rain. Rain feels another tremor of fear—cold and liquid—run through his insides. Pakin addresses Rain and he feels like he just might die from the direct attention, “Thank you for coming tonight; I know Payu appreciates it, as do I.”

Payu’s hand squeezes on his hip, which prompts Rain to nod politely. He wants to be brave, he really wants to, but his voice still comes out small and shy, “Thank you for inviting me.”

Pakin nods and seems to accept this as good enough. His attention turns to Payu.

“Congratulations to the both of you, hm? Is a date set yet?”

Payu shakes his head, “We’re still figuring everything out, but you'll be one of the first to know.”

And, true to Payu's earlier word, he takes over conversation for the both of them and only occasionally demands a confirming nod from Rain as Payu answers questions about their pending wedding and the like. Payu never leaves his side and his hand never leaves his hip.

Payu’s answers seem a little short–a bit clipped even. It’s not something he thinks anyone else would notice, but he notices it because, well, he knows Payu better than he knows himself sometimes. He wonders if it’s for his sake in order to get them out of there more quickly, or for Payu’s sake because of the whole thing with Strong?

Rain glances at him, but he has no way of knowing if the altercation with Strong has receded from Payu’s memory. His dark eyes are focused on Pakin as the conversation flows between them.

Eventually his adrenaline settles out, though he still feels nervous. Payu has told him several times that Pakin is a decent guy and Rain sees it; the man has the easy confidence and commands deference effortlessly. He sees the appeal. The man is objectively likable.

It doesn’t mean he won’t murder you for wandering onto the track of an illegal street race, however. Of this, Rain is acutely aware.

Thankfully he only has to endure a scant ten minutes before Pakin gives them an obvious dismissal. “Don’t be a stranger,” Pakin smiles. “Bring your boy ‘round,” Pakin says. “I’ll have to have the two of you over for dinner to get to know him better, hm?”

“Of course,” Payu says. “We’d be happy to come.”

Rain almost dies. A dinner!? With Pakin?!

Payu better know for damn sure he loves the hell out of him if he has to go to a dinner with Pakin and whoever else. Payu will fucking owe him! Like! A million cosplays! Infinite cosplays!

Payu indicates their farewells and gently guides Rain away by the hip. He leans into his ear and asks softly, “You okay?”

Rain nods, but he’s far from okay. He feels a tension headache coming on.

“You did a good job, my brave boy. You’re so, so good.”

He feels only slightly placated.

~*~*~
PAYU:

Even though the edges of his anger have receded, Payu can’t stop thinking about it: the easy slide of Strong’s hand along the curl of Rain’s shoulder blade and down the line of his spine; the firm curl of Strong’s hand squeezing Rain’s ass; the dark, glittering gaze of want; the slight flare of nostril as he fucking scented his fiancé along the sensitive line of neck; the gentle lift of his eyes and curl of lip at Payu as the realization dawned on Strong about who Rain belonged to as he did it.

He thinks about it all through the meeting with Pakin. And now he’s thinking about it on the way home.

He shouldn’t let it rankle him, but it does. The feeling is ugly and it brims beneath his skin. The fury thumps through his heart and right up into his temples.

He needs to be home.

With Rain.

Now.

“I’m not mad at you,” he says, breaking the silence.

Rain’s voice is soft in response, “I know.”

~*~*~
RAIN

Rain had thought that maybe the meeting with Pakin had distracted Payu enough to forget about Strong.

Unfortunately, this isn't the case.

The ride home is silent.

Payu is all dark angry eyes. His hand-holding is a painful crush of fingers into Rain’s palm.

It puts Rain on edge. It’s one thing when Payu is disapproving and teasing; it’s completely another thing when he is silent.

Silence from Payu means actual anger.

And, unfortunately, Payu is silent the entire drive home.

Rain hates it. He hates seeing Payu like this.

Demanding rewards for dealing with Pakin will have to be put on hold.

What does Payu need? What can he do?

A surge of anxiety rises in his chest when they finally reach the front door to the house and they step across the threshold. He can’t take it. He needs to know what is going on inside Payu’s head and heart. They need to talk. “P’Payu…”

He knows it has to do with Strong touching him, but that kind of thing happens to people all the time! Well—it doesn’t happen to Rain, but still! It’s a thing that happens and people don’t usually go this ballistic over it, do they?

Why is Payu this upset?

Payu steps over the threshold and Rain is pulled along with him. The door clicks shut behind them and Payu finally faces him.

There’s still no hint of Payu’s usual teasing self; his expression is too dark and too taut with vibrating tension. It feels perilous somehow, though Rain doesn’t feel unsafe.

What should he do? Ask him? Or wait until he’s ready?

He doesn’t know what the right answer is.

Fuck.

He licks his lips out of nervous concern. He tries again, “P’Payu?”

How should he take care of Payu?

All of these thoughts are swept right out of his mind because suddenly his feet are no longer on the ground. Payu is picking him up.

Rain grips onto Payu’s shoulders, but it doesn’t stop there. Payu proceeds to throw him over his shoulder so that Rain’s ass is in the air from the bend of his body over Payu’s shoulder. Payu’s arm is secured over the backs of his legs.

“P’Payu!”

Rain claws his fingers into his back from which he is now hanging upside-down. He wants to struggle out of it, but doesn’t because he doesn’t want Payu to drop him. “Don’t drop me!” he says, wanting to demand it, but he is too surprised for his protestation to have force and it comes out more pitiful than he intends.

Payu’s voice is low and quiet as he says, “I won’t drop you.”

Rain is already being borne through the darkened living room and to the stairs. He tries another tack, “You’re going to hurt yourself! I’m heavy. You’ll hurt yourself! P’Payuuu!”

“Rain,” Payu says in the same serious tone, “Hush.”

Any further cries die in his throat as Payu makes the switchback up the remainder of the stairs. Payu takes them through the door to their room. Rain’s hip is hurting where the crease of him is pressed over Payu’s shoulder.

Rain lets out a whimper that he hopes sounds pathetic enough for him to garner sympathy.

No such luck.

Apparently they’re not going to talk it out; they’re going to fuck it out.

Fine by Rain if that’s what Payu needs.

Rain finds himself unceremoniously dumped into the center of their bed. Payu moves over him and is holding Rain down before Rain can even make sense of his situation. Payu sits over Rain’s stomach and presses Rain’s wrists down into the bed near his shoulders.

Rain has nowhere to look but up into Payu’s eyes, which are intense and make him feel exposed and pinned. The dark ferocity is too much and Rain turns his head and squeezes his eyes tightly shut. He swallows, heart racing.

What does Payu want from him? What does he need?

He wiggles beneath Payu, but Payu is immovable. Once Payu has decided on a course of action, there is no changing it.

“Hnn…” he whines again, eyes squeezed tight.

“Rain,” Payu says and Rain is filled with unease. Usually he has some hint or idea of where they are headed, but right now he doesn’t.

“Open your eyes,” Payu says. It’s a calm demand, but Rain still hears the unfamiliar and disconcerting undercurrent of cold tension. “Look at me.”

What does he want!? What will make it better?

Rain just wants it to be better!

Rain shakes his head, but knows he has to comply otherwise it might incur punishment.

“Rain.”

He opens his eyes and still doesn’t know what to think. Payu releases one wrist to take Rain by the chin and properly square their gazes up. Payu is all stormy dark eyes. He’s looking down into Rain like he’s looking down into his very being. Rain lifts his chin slightly and waits; there is no hint of defiance. He lets himself be open to Payu.

He just wants Payu to feel better.

~*~*~
PAYU

Payu sees the attractive line of Rain’s neck move, Adam’s apple bobbing as Rain swallows and then bites his own lower lip.

Rain is still with the exception of his breath. Payu can see the subtle pulse-point of Rain’s neck beating steadily away, rabbit-fast.

He wants to sink his teeth into the sweet space there. He wants to feel Rain’s skin against his teeth. He wants to feel the steady thrum of Rain’s heartbeat beneath his palm. He wants to feel the heat of him.

He wants.. he wants.. he wants.

He needs.

He sees that Rain is anxious. “I’m not mad at you,” he says again, suspecting that Rain may be doubting the same statement from earlier. And it’s true, he’s not mad at Rain. He’s just mad.

He just needs to feel it–that Rain is his.

“So you said. But you are mad…”

“Yes,” he says. “I’m mad.”

‘Mad’ doesn’t even begin to cover how he feels. It still feels like the heavy static of a storm in his heart and brain that refuses to blow over. He just can’t stop thinking about it. He can’t stop thinking about Rain, about Strong, about–

“What do you need?” Rain asks.

Payu pauses. What does he need?

Payu nips down along Rain’s jawline and Rain’s breath hitches and goes uneven. Payu shuts his eyes. He just wants to focus on feeling Rain.

He just needs.

He mouths down the line of Rain’s neck to his sweetly sensitive pulse-point. He presses his tongue to it, lashing over the area with wet heat, and follows up with an open-mouthed kiss.

Payu can feel Rain’s flutter-soft heart beat. He transitions from hot, wet kisses to scraping his teeth against the skin. He scrapes his way further down to the base of Rain’s neck then up the line of jugular to nip his chin.

Payu moves over Rain until the tips of their noses touch and they make eye contact. Rain’s eyes are intense and focused; they’re deep brown pools, dark and shining in the dim light of their room. Rain’s breath is soft between their mouths.

Rain.

He needs Rain---here and his.

He needs to feel the heat of his skin. He needs to feel the hot slide of his tongue against Rain’s tongue. He needs to hear Rain panting out his name. He needs to be within that deep heat of his body. He needs to hear Rain’s sweet, mewling pleasure. He needs to make Rain his in all ways. He needs him completely.

Payu withdraws slightly, pushing his hands into the bed such that his arms are drawn long. He considers Rain for a long moment and says, “Tell me who you belong to.”

Rain’s response is clear and immediate, “You.”

It’s not that Payu finds this fact in question. Rain’s heart is his and he knows it; Rain’s affections are not in dispute. He just needs to hear it.

Rain shifts his body, stretching himself long and the message is clear to Payu; Rain is opening himself to Payu. Payu feels like he’s seeing right into his mind and heart; Rain is boldly baring the entirety of his body. Rain is telling Payu he belongs to him.

Payu places the palm of his hand over Rain’s heart, fingers spread wide. The heart beating there is steady and strong. It beats for Payu.

“I belong to you,” Rain says again, intuiting Payu’s needs. It’s exactly what he wants to hear–needs to hear.

Payu nods slowly, watching Rain carefully.

Payu thinks, then says, “He put his hands on you. He put his mouth on you.”

Rain’s eyes flutter halfway shut and his mouth tightens slightly. “He did.”

“How did it make you feel?”

“I hated it.” The way Rain says this with such simplicity makes Payu’s heart turn over in all of the right ways; Rain is so thoroughly his.

He hates that someone else's hands were on Rain’s body. He hates that someone else's lips touched his skin. He hates that someone else’s scent lingers on him.

He hates it.

And he’s going to fix it.

“Take everything off.”

Rain draws his arms back and presses himself up onto his elbows. He slides out from between Payu’s legs back into the pillows. He undresses: he shifts out of the black blazer; fingers move over buttons with practiced efficiency; the belt is unbuckled and slipped loose with a clatter to the floor; shoes come off with thunks at the bedside; socks and underwear follow shortly thereafter.

Rain lies naked before him, head and shoulders bolstered against the pillows near the head of the bed.

Payu looks him over, as if he can see the spaces Rain had been violated. He finds nothing visible of course since the offense was all breath and lips and trailing fingertips— all invisible transgressions.

Payu wasn’t there. He hadn’t been there to intervene. He should have been there. He never should have fucking left his side. No one should have ever fucking touched Rain.

His voice is rough as he says, “Show me.”

It’s a few heartbeats before Rain moves cautiously.

Rain shows him.

Rain presses his fingertip to the space just beneath his ear and trails the fingertip lightly down the line of his neck. Rain pauses over the space where his neck curves into his shoulder and taps it twice. This is where Strong kissed him.

It’s Rain’s sweet spot.

His heart flares hot again.

Bastard.

Rain licks his lips nervously and his lower lip tucks in.

Rain shimmies further out from beneath Payu’s legs just enough to maneuver himself onto his side. He shows Payu the remaining places, brushing his hand along the same trail Strong took: shoulder blade, down the line of back, and then his ass.

Rain settles onto his back and stares up at Payu.

Payu mulls this over and keeps coming to the same conclusion: Rain needs to be reclaimed.

“You’re mine,” he says in a low voice.

Rain answers with such easy sincerity that it never fails to reach Payu’s soul: “I’m yours.”

He’s going to scour every inch of Rain’s body until every last trace of Strong is gone.

Rain. Is. His.

~*~*~
RAIN

Rain feels on the edge. His heart is in a nervous flutter, like a hummingbird is in his chest. He’s not sure if he should be scared or aroused. It’s a confusing state to be in.

It feels like this is another of their games, but also like it’s not. He has the sense that something of significance is happening here–some shift that’s too big for him to fully comprehend the implications of. He just knows it's important. His heart is in too deep and ultimately it doesn’t matter how far they go; he is all Payu’s. Whatever it is Payu needs, he will give it.

Payu takes a few moments to push his blazer off, pull off his shirt, and kick his pants and underwear off. He comes to gaze down at Rain with his legs bracketing Rain’s hips and hands pressed into the bed near Rain’s shoulders.

Payu’s expression is not the warm and affectionate gaze he usually sees when they are making love; this is something entirely different. They’re dark and dangerous. He knows that anger still has its hold on Payu; he can see it. His eyes are full of sharpness, full of lightning.

Payu gazes down at him for a long time.

Just when Rain is wondering if he’s supposed to do or say something, Payu repositions. He leans down over Rain, face close to his, just shy of their noses touching.

Payu takes Rain gently by the chin and his lips brush up against his, but it’s a far cry from any real kiss; it’s too soft. Rain lifts his chin slightly to try and meet him, but Payu catches his lower lip with his thumb and keeps him tantalizingly close, but also frustratingly far from kissing.

“Tell me again,” Payu says, voice still low.

“Yours,” Rain says with perfect obedience. Now is definitely a time for obedience – a time for giving Payu what he wants. “I’m yours.”

Rain isn’t even able to take another breath before Payu’s mouth is crushing into him. Payu’s tongue presses to the seam of Rain’s mouth, opening Rain to him. Rain offers no resistance; Payu can have whatever he wants.

Payu’s tongue clashes against his; Rain meets Payu with his own. Payu’s tongue is a rough and fervent slide of heat and pressure that never fails to make Rain go warm with want. And now he wants…

Payu hasn’t told him to be still yet, so Rain winds his arms up around Payu’s neck and returns Payu’s deeply delving kisses. It’s sometime during this session of deep kissing that Rain’s mind starts to go pleasantly fuzzy where he stops thinking and just starts feeling--adrift in everything Payu.

Payu feels so good…

Payu wanting him so fiercely feels so, so good.

Rain is mournful when Payu stops kissing him, but is sufficiently satisfied with Payu pressing flutter-soft kisses down the line of his neck that soon become gentle nips, which become sweet suctioning of teeth, which become hickeys.

Rain elongates his neck for him and Payu lines his neck with hickeys until he reaches the curvature into shoulder. Rain is baring that oh-so-sweet spot they both want Payu to reach.

I’m yours… all yours. Always yours.

Payu’s mouth comes to rest at that sweet crook that makes Rain weak with want. He shivers as Payu brushes gentle lips over the area. The gentle kisses turn into teeth grazing and scraping. It lulls Rain under and his breathing turns deep and slow as he lets Payu take him over.

Payu’s teeth close over the space; it’s the beginning of a bite.

“Nn-nn…” Rain purrs. Rain smoothes his hands down to hold the curves of Payu’s shoulder blades. The bite deepens and it gets harder and harder until it’s painful, muscle and skin pinched between Payu’s teeth.

He doesn’t mind at first. This is the area most egregiously violated and something about this feels right. A bite is stronger than a kiss.

“Nnn!” Rain starts to hiss.

He doesn’t hate it. It hurts, but it also feels good. It feels animal, carnal—connecting in a way that is all physical and feeling.

Rain digs his fingernails into the skin of Payu’s back, under the shoulder blade. He squirms under the weight of Payu sitting over his lower abdomen and the teeth on his neck. Payu’s hands have come to hold Rain on his shoulders.

Payu’s mouth is on him, all scraping teeth and hot tongue. He wonders if Payu will keep going, if he’ll break skin.

“P’Payu—” he warns. It feels sharp. Payu isn’t stopping. It’s hurting. It’s hurting! He squeezes his eyes shut tight.

Rain finally lets out a strangled sob and scrabbles his fingernails down his back in panic. Fuck! Payu really is going to take a chunk out of him! He barely manages to choke out, “S-stop!”

He hates it.

He hates telling Payu no.

He hates that he has to do it now when Payu desperately needs something – needs whatever this is. He doesn’t want to tell him no, but he also doesn’t want to miss a bite-sized chunk of his neck!

The pressure of Payu’s bite loosens, then releases all together as Payu lets go and drops his forehead into Rain’s chest. He hears a soft, “...Fuck!”

Payu withdraws completely, which leaves Rain abandoned and confused. All of the warm air and buzzing energy whooshes right out of their intimate space. Rain reaches for him, but Payu too quickly slips away to sit between Rain’s legs.

“Fuck,” Payu says again, mostly turned away. Rain can only see the curve of cheek bone and the barest flutter of an eyelash.

Payu presses his hand over his own mouth, which Rain knows as one of Payu’s deep-thinking gestures. Payu has turned inward—too deeply inward and distant for Rain’s liking.

....What…?

Rain sits up with the intention of checking on Payu, but there is a throbbing and sharp pain in his shoulder as he sits up. Rain tentatively draws his hand up to test the skin. It’s damp with cooling saliva… and the slick feel of blood.

He brings his fingertips in front of his face and–yup--Payu actually broke skin.

“P’Payu…”

Payu opens his eyes and turns enough that Rain can see his expression; it looks like misery.

Oh shit.

Rain’s heart pangs deeply. Payu’s dark eyes are downcast as he avoids eye contact. This never happens. If anyone avoids eye contact in their relationship, it’s Rain.

Never Payu.

“Rain…” Payu’s voice is tight and quiet with tension, “I’m so, so sorry…”

Rain reaches out his hand and tries to touch Payu’s elbow, but Payu draws it away from him, like he doesn’t want Rain to touch him. The withdrawal hurts Rain like a physical ache in his heart. Rain slowly drops his hands into his own lap and looks at Payu—really looks at him.

He sees it with such alarming clarity: Payu is falling apart. Right in front of him.

This is more disconcerting than Payu biting him.

His strong, capable, and coolly controlled fiancé… is…

Oh my god.

Rain’s eyes widen.

… not in control.

Payu is not in control.

Payu.

Rain’s heart kicks up again.

Payu’s dark gaze locks onto Rain’s shoulder. Payu leans forward just enough to inspect the damage and Rain can see the turn of emotion on his face; it’s still misery, but now with an overlay of guilt.

Payu starts to reach out to touch the wound, but before he can make contact retracts his hand.

“....Fuck!,” Payu says again.

Nah-uh. Rain’s not going to have this.

He snatches Payu’s hand and holds it. Payu doesn’t get to just not touch him.

Payu is already trying to draw his hand out of Rain’s, but Rain holds fast.

“P’Payu.”

Rain sees the yarn of Payu’s easy confidence and control still spooling out. He still won't look at Rain.

Rain has to stop it. He has to stop this. What does he do? What should he do? Payu is retreating. Payu is coming undone—and not in the sexy way Rain likes.

Payu draws back, and his intake of breath on the outside is controlled, but Rain can see it’s too controlled; Payu is hiding that he is…what? Shaken? This breaks Rain’s heart a little bit. Can’t he trust Rain with some of whatever is happening inside him?

He’s never seen Payu in such a state of discomposure.

Never.

Rain can already see what Payu is thinking, what he must be feeling. Rain sees the inevitable conclusion that Payu will draw. Payu is going to want to stop. He’s going to tell him they need to stop; and, if there is one thing Rain is sure of, it is that they mustn't.

He has to disrupt Payu’s before he finishes logicing through this. Some things in life can’t be dealt with by logic. Some things have to be dealt with in feelings.

For the second time that night (and in his life), Rain digs deep down and musters the confidence to be commanding, “P’Payu. Look at me.”

Fuck, it’s uncomfortable. He feels like he’s trying on shoes two sizes too big, but is pretending to fill them all the same.

To his shock, his command works a second time that night because Payu is looking as Rain has asked–or rather–commanded.

He’s not going to escape. Rain won’t let him.

“Keep going,” Rain says. “I want you to keep going. You need to keep going.” He swallows again, feeling light-headed, but determined; Payu needs something here, and Rain wants to give it.

Where Payu is seated over his hips makes Payu a full head taller than him, but that’s fine for his purposes. Rain looks up at him, trying to make his gaze severe. He feels a bit like a scowling kitten, but he’s trying for tiger.

Rain lifts his hand and places it to hold the jawline beneath Payu’s chin. He holds him there and runs his thumb over his lower lip. He makes Payu look at him and holds his gaze.

Payu’s eyes are dark and impassive, which means Payu could be thinking and feeling any number of things. Rain suddenly can’t read him, so he has no idea what Payu is thinking. It makes him feel crazy and like he’s taking a huge gamble, which he is, but he forges ahead. His heart is all in.

“We’re not going to stop. You need to keep going.”

Payu inhales and Rain knows he’s about to protest, which he can’t–won’t--let happen. So in a miraculous response–(Rain can’t believe he’s doing this)–he shoves his thumb into Payu’s mouth over the rim of teeth and all the way to the back of Payu’s tongue where he pins it down.

Try telling me ‘no’ now!

He holds Payu’s jaw firmly, thumb on his tongue and the curl of his index beneath his chin in a vice-like hold. He’s sure he’s hurting Payu with the strength of his grip, but he’s going to have his way.

Payu’s eyes narrow and he starts to draw back, but Rain’s grip and subsequent pull is too strong. “Nah-uh,” Rain says in reproof. He has a hold on Payu now and he’s not backing down.

Payu’s eyes have gone dark with vexation, like he’s willing Rain to let go and behave, which, unfortunately for Payu, Rain will not be doing. Payu can be vexed all he likes, but he’s not going to get his way. Not tonight. Whatever this is, it’s important. Rain feels this with a surety that is humming in his bones and singing in his blood.

Payu needs whatever this is and Rain is going to give it.

Both of Payu’s hands come to grip over Rain’s forearm, which Rain realizes will be an effort to wrestle him off–to wrestle control back. Rain’s not going to have it.

To the pain then, he thinks. Payu is just about to find out just how much of an intractable brat he really can be.

Rain pinches Payu’s tongue and jaw that much harder, which has the effect of jamming the sharp edges of Payu’s teeth into the meaty section of his thumb. He can handle it.

“No,” Rain says more firmly. “You’re going to listen to me.”

Payu’s fingers are digging into the skin of his forearm and the lower ridge of teeth are painfully sharp in his skin, but Rain doesn’t care. This is more important and it’s with this determination in his soul that he stares Payu down.

Payu is staring back with a matching intensity, dark and hard. Normally this intensity would have Rain folding with his heart in wild disarray, but not tonight. His heart is firm, bolstered by conviction.

Payu’s fingers are strong on Rain’s hand, but they tremble once, twice, and then release. Rain has no patience tonight; it’s time to deal with whatever is happening head-on. Rain doesn’t let go of Payu’s jaw. Payu’s just going to have to listen and deal with it.

“We’re not stopping just because you bit me too hard,” Rain says. “You need something. And you’re going to get it.”

Even if it’s just by virtue of Payu being shocked into submission, he’s listening. Rain can see him taking in Rain’s assertions, even if he’s not necessarily agreeing with them.

Yet.

Rain continues, making his eyes as hard as he can. He tries to be intrepid: “So you’re not stopping. We’re not stopping. Do you understand?”

Payu’s gaze flickers, his tongue curling slightly over Rain’s thumb where Rain has him pinned. Payu nods in-so-far as Rain’s grip lets him. Rain narrows his gaze on Payu’s eyes, reading between them.

Once Rain is thoroughly satisfied Payu is listening, he says, “Good,” then adds with slightly more levity, “now you’re going to fuck me.”

Rain’s heart is still racing. He has no idea what to do with this sudden, but crucial power right now. He’s going to feel it out. He has to. For Payu.

Uuuhhhhh. Now what does Payu normally do?

That’s right: Rules.

He always has rules.

~*~*~
PAYU

For a moment all Payu can hear is blood rushing in his ears and all he can taste is the metallic tang of blood—Rain’s blood.

Fuck!

Rain!

He just bit Rain! Like, actually bit him hard enough to draw fucking blood.

He can’t do this. They shouldn’t be doing this. They can’t be doing this—not when Payu is feeling so wild and needing.

Rain’s arm is on Payu’s, trying to pull him back, to draw him back, but Payu can’t let him. He can’t.

He just narrowly escapes Rain’s grasp to turn away.

He shouldn’t have made Rain go to dinner. He shouldn’t have left his side. He should have never… He shouldn’t have... He shouldn’t have…

There are so many things he should have and shouldn’t have done to keep Rain safe. And here, Payu is the one who hurt him. He was supposed to be keeping him safe.. And instead… Strong … and then Payu himself… !

How did he let himself go so far tonight down this road feeling like this?

He was completely losing himself in Rain–needing Rain. He needed to dig his fingers into him and scrape his nails into the skin. He needed to taste him–to drag his teeth and lips and tongue over him. He needed to pin him down and have Rain feeling hot and real and there beneath him.

How far would he have gone?

How much more could he have hurt Rain?

What if Rain hadn’t told him no?

This is completely unacceptable. Completely unacceptable.

“Rain.. I’m so, so sorry,” he says, hoping that Rain understands he means it completely.

Rain would have every right to be upset with him.

Fuck!

Rain is calling his name… trying to get his attention. He knows he needs to deal with this but, fuck!

His hands are shaking slightly. His heart too.

His erratic thoughts come to a complete halt because he hears Rain’s voice–strong, clear and commanding. “P’Payu, look at me.”

So, Payu looks.

Rain is staring him down with a fierceness that carves right into Payu’s soul. It’s something dark and deep; it’s something that feels colossal—immovable.

His entire being gives one shivering quaver beneath that gaze.

…What?

The storm cloud that is currently his mind and heart momentarily ceases its churning; Rain is cutting through it with his unwavering gaze, defiant set of his chin, and firmness of voice. Rain is very in focus, if nothing else. Rain’s the only thing he can see. Because Rain is forcing him.

Just when did Rain cultivate this voice?

Then Rain is saying with a voice vibrating with determination, “Keep going. I want you to keep going. You need to keep going.”

Rain. His sweet, darling boy.

He knows Rain wants to help him, but letting this continue would be much too far. Payu can’t and won’t let this continue—he can’t ensure he won’t hurt Rain. He already has, hasn’t he?

Rain presses on, “We’re not going to stop. You need to keep going.”

Payu finally inhales. He needs to put a stop to this. He begins the heavy exhale that he intends to precede a decline. He needs to explain to Rain—

—except suddenly Rain’s hand is gripping his chin and Rain’s thumb is jammed into his mouth over his tongue and practically to the back of his throat.

Shock overshadows the remaining dark storm front of feelings he’s been grappling with; He tries to pull away out of pure bodily reflex, but Rain’s grip becomes an even tighter pincer of thumb and fingers.

For the second time that night he tastes blood. Payu’s not even the one biting; it’s Rain with that pressure on his tongue and the painful curl into the hook of Payu’s jaw.

What in the actual fuck is happening? Of all the scenarios this evening could have presented this was not on his radar.

But Rain isn’t asking. He’s demanding.

“Nah-uh,” Rain is saying, and Payu is pinned beneath the unwavering ferocity of those sharp brown eyes. “No. You’re going to listen to me.”

Payu’s certainly listening. His hairs are practically on end as every fiber of him is quite aware of Rain’s sudden, pinning hold on him.

Payu doesn’t know how to feel about this.

Like, at all.

But he knows he’s going to keep listening because there’s something undeniably captivating about the dark determination in Rain’s eyes…

~*~*~
RAIN

Rain bites his lip.

First things first, Rain supposes: Rules.

“Rule Number One: You can bite all you want, but not break the skin. Got it?”

Payu’s eyes are still dark and he doesn’t move, so Rain takes it as an agreement.

“Rule Number Two: You can be rough. Leave my arms free. If I tap you twice then you need to slow down. When I say ‘stop’ you stop.”

Number 2 is an already established rule, but Rain feels like it’s good form to admonish him. He’s in control after all, and Payu constantly reminds him of these things; he should do the same.

Payu’s eyes are still dark, looking between Rain’s eyes as he speaks. It’s further agreement.

Rain stares back into Payu’s wide, dark eyes until he’s satisfied Payu has taken everything to heart.

What the hell has he gotten himself into?

“Now,” Rain says as he lays back down. He hasn’t released his grip on Payu’s jaw. In fact, he doesn’t. He forces Payu forward over him by the jaw so that Payu’s body is aligned with his, chest to chest. Rain leans up to say into Payu’s ear, “Go ahead. Make me yours.”

He has no idea if this is going to work–if Payu will accept this, but so far so good. There’s nothing for it but to try. Rain releases his hold on Payu’s jaw and rests back down in the comforter.

Payu pauses, works his freed jaw for a moment, then gazes at Rain with what Rain interprets as bewilderment. For a long, uncomfortable moment, Rain worries if Payu will still try and force the issue of backing out.

To Rain’s shock and relief, he doesn’t.

Payu’s eyes lower to gaze down at Rain’s chest.

Jesus-fucking-Christ.

It’s working?

Oh god! But what is he even doing?!

Rain has a momentary surge of anxiety that he pushes down. He needs to focus.

Payu’s eyes lower and he presses a kiss over Rain’s nipple. The kiss then becomes a nip, which Rain watches carefully.

Payu sinks his teeth into the skin and Rain hisses softly, but it’s nowhere near the pressure from earlier. Slowly Payu’s teeth sink deeper and deeper.

This time the bite is slow and controlled; Rain realizes that this is Payu’s way of asking how hard he can bite.

Once at his limit, Rain taps gently on Payu's shoulder twice. Payu stops.

Perfect.

“Good…” Rain says and had almost finished by saying good boy. He doesn’t, because saying such a thing would be basically blasphemous. Thankfully Payu doesn’t seem to have noticed.

Payu lifts his dark gaze to make eye contact and waits. Rain realizes it’s Payu asking for permission, so he gives him an approving nod. It seems to be what Payu needs because his gaze subsequently lowers. Payu presses a kiss to the same space over the nipple.

With this permission, Payu proceeds to make his way down Rain’s body in a series of kisses, scraping of teeth, and soft nips. All Rain can see is his dark head of hair as he moves slowly down.

Payu settles on his knees to sit between Rain’s legs and gently lifts one of Rain’s legs. He kisses Rain’s ankle, then shifts his gaze to look at Rain. He’s waiting again, which means he’s trying to communicate something to Rain again.

Rain realizes it’s an apology.

Rain nods slightly at him, an acceptance of apology.

Payu makes a slow and deliberate line of ever-so-gentle kisses along the inner seam of Rain’s leg. Rain’s heart is definitely mollified by the time Payu reaches the inner juncture of leg and pelvis.

Payu stops there.

He presses a firm kiss to the space, Rain’s balls nestled up against his cheek. Rain’s not aroused yet, but that’s not what this is about.

Rain has the sense that this pause is where apology stops and where Payu getting what he needs starts.

He is right; Payu’s teeth come around a sensitive section of his inner thigh and slowly clamp down. Rain hisses when he nears his limit at piercing pain, but Payu’s memory is excellent; he stops just short of Rain’s tap-out point.

Payu releases the pressure and runs the flat of his tongue over the skin; it feels like both satisfaction and apology.

Rain exhales.

His relief is short-lived. Payu’s teeth scrape the area of skin just below. Payu sinks his teeth into the skin, a second bruising bite into Rain’s inner thigh. Rain hisses softly at the pleasure-sweet pain that borders on real pain.

This is going to be a long fucking night.

Rain hisses at each subsequent nip and bite that Payu marks him with, but that’s what this is about isn’t it?

This is about marking him as Payu’s.

Rain rests his hands on Payu’s shoulders as Payu pain-stakingly works the line of sweet bruises along his inner thighs. Payu never surpasses Rain’s limit, but he comes just shy enough that Rain’s fingertips clutch into the skin of his shoulder.

When Payu is done, he comes to rest his chin on Rain’s hip, yet again asking for something: permission to continue maybe?

Rain grants him a nod.

Payu’s gaze lingers for a moment before he presses a kiss to Rain’s hip.

Rain finds himself maneuvered by Payu to lie on his side.

Payu presses a kiss to the center-point of his ass. It seems this is the next area of transgression Payu plans to deal with; this is the place where Strong’s hand unwelcomely squeezed Rain.

Payu presses the flat of his tongue to his skin and drags the wet heat over him. Payu spends a lot of time there, licking tongue over him, making delicious trails of heat that fade beneath the cool air of the room.

Payu presses his cheek into the mess and Payu slides one arm between the line of Rain’s legs. His hand comes to cover the entirety of his cock and balls in an under-the-pelvis hold. Payu gently rubs his hand over the full area.

Rain exhales softly. It feels nice.

Payu coaxes him into arousal, his hand working him in a very generalized fondling. Payu curls his hand over his shaft and strokes him to a full standing.

Rain is just beginning a pleased sigh when Payu’s teeth scrape against the skin of his ass.

It seems Payu intends on marking him there too. And thoroughly.

Payu spends a lot of time there, stroking Rain’s dick and working hickeys into the entire area of his ass cheek. It’s a lovely balance–the pleasure of Payu's hand on his cock and the sharpness of bruising.

He whimpers softly, but never asks Payu to stop. He doesn't want him to.

When Payu is finally done, Rain is pretty sure that area of ass will be nothing but purple in the morning. It’s already quite tender.

Payu presses a finalizing kiss to the area.

He licks all the way up the line of his back and places a series of kisses and teeth-scraping over his shoulder blade. Apparently those areas don’t need bruises of reclamation because he doesn’t linger there.

Payu pushes Rain to lie on his back.

The two of them look at each other for a long moment. Payu takes Rain’s silent inaction as permission, which it is.

He bends down and kisses the space just over Rain’s heart. It feels like an I love you and it feels like gratitude.

Rain lifts his hand and rests it over the back of Payu’s head. Just for a moment, he pets his hair.

It’s okay, he promises through the gentle pets, I love you too.

Payu sits upright and draws Rain’s hand to his lips. He kisses his knuckles. Payu’s eyes are dark and glittering and calm. Rain is so happy to see them calm. Payu’s expression is another apology.

Once Payu lets go, Rain presses his hand to his cheek. Payu leans slightly into it and kisses the palm.

They are far from done. Payu bends to kiss a wandering trail all the way down Rain’s chest and abdomen until he reaches his pelvis. Payu pauses between his legs, suspended just above Rain’s erection.

Rain’s heart expands with sudden wonder. Is Payu going to do what he thinks he’s going to do?

Payu takes Rain’s cock in the curl of his hand and bends to press a kiss to his cock head.

He can’t be…

Except he is because Rain’s brain lights up like a fucking Christmas tree when Payu’s mouth suddenly is enveloping the entirety of his cock in wet heat.

“Oh fuck…!” Rain groans. His hips arch up, pressing further into the sweet heat.

It’s not that Payu refuses to give Rain blow jobs, it’s just that Rain historically cums way too fast so they never do it. Both of them prefer other methods of getting Rain to cum.

Rain digs his fingers into the bed as he inhales sharply.

Oh fuck.

Payu doesn’t even have to bob his head to get him off. All he has to do is run his hot tongue all over him like he’s doing right now; and, Payu’s tongue is relentless. Rain forgets to breathe.

He arches into the sweet and ruthless mouth. Payu’s hands come to the crease of his thighs and hips to hold Rain down and work his tongue over him.

Rain’s fingers scrabble for purchase on Payu’s shoulders. Rain digs his fingers into him and finally remembers to take a breath. It’s a sharp, stuttering breath he takes as the pleasure winds, and winds, and winds—

—until he’s brought to that sweet pleasure-pulsing sensation that brings him all the way to orgasm. He comes and comes and comes and it feels like it takes all of his breath with him.

He can’t breathe. He can’t think. It’s so much–too much.

Oh fuck.

His cock still pulses even when there’s nothing left to give.

“Hnnn…” he keens as Payu licks him through the now very sensitive and empty pulses of orgasm.

Payu must be feeling sorry if that’s what just happened. They’re really going to have to revisit the whole blow job thing more often.

Rain goes limp in a single, sharp exhale. Payu has taken everything out of him. He pants as he comes down from the blinding brightness of orgasm. The haze clears and he looks down at his incredible fiancé, whose mouth is still hot and encompassing cock.

Rain touches his hand to Payu’s cheek.

That’s my good boy, he thinks, but doesn’t vocalize. Blasphemous.

Payu finally withdraws enough that Rain’s cock comes free. Payu runs his tongue over his own lips thoughtfully, a little bit like he's savoring Rain.

Jesus Christ.

Payu swallowed. Rain’s not sure he’ll ever get over this.

Rain can’t help but drop his head back and collapse for a moment.

Payu leans forward, and moves up the bed until he’s directly over Rain. He’s staring down at Rain and Rain’s not sure what he needs. What he ends up telling Payu with gentle fingertips at his cheeks is: “You’re good. You’re so good, baby. Keep going.”

Payu’s eyes flutter shut and Rain’s not entirely sure what emotion Payu’s feeling, but it must be at least somewhat good because Payu bends down to press a kiss to his mouth. Payu proceeds to lean down and make a line of kisses over his collar bone to the center of his chest.

Rain lets his own eyes flutter shut. He feels so boneless he’ll let Payu continue on doing whatever he needs for as long as he needs.

It turns out this is a good headspace to be in, because Payu begins to painstakingly nip and suckle hickeys into him all over the skin of his chest, his abdomen, and sides. Rain has no idea how long he is floating there, in a post-orgasmic haze, keening softly at each bite, but it has to be a long time that Payu takes to mark him all over.

Rain only cracks his eyes open when Payu stops and clears his throat. Payu speaks for the first time in what Rain realizes feels like ages, “...May I fuck you?”

His voice sounds a little rough.

Payu asking… permission?

Payu using the word “may” does something to him.

Payu never asks like this, he just does. And that’s when Rain is reminded, even though Rain’s known it and has been actively monitoring it this whole time: Rain’s currently in control.

So he says, “yes. You may fuck me.”

Payu’s hands come beneath his thighs and drag him back so that he’s suddenly off balance and fully on his back again. Payu presses Rain’s legs up and out so that his knees are up near his chest, but spread enough for Payu to get in between. Payu leans over and withdraws the lubricant out of the drawer.

Payu has fingers in him before Rain can even exhale. The lubricant is cool and slick inside him and Payu’s fingers are slippery and rough as Payu prepares him.

This is going to be a rough one, Rain realizes, but that’s fine; he can handle rough. He loves it when Payu fucks him rough.

The scene before Rain’s legs is obscene: Payu is quickly stroking copious amounts of lubricant over himself with quick jerks of his cock. It sends a lance of anticipatory heat through Rain’s insides.

Rain’s cock is tired, but already perking up with interest. Payu is going to elicit a second, painful orgasm out of him; it’s technically too quick a refractory period for Rain to have a fully pleasurable orgasm again, but oh well. This is happening.

Payu leans forward between Rain’s legs, one hand on the bedding at Rain’s side and one hand on his cock as he positions his blunt cock head to Rain’s anal entrance.

Payu is looking down at him with want, so Rain shifts his hips, the slick tip of Payu’s cock rubbing against his entrance. He knows the angle he needs to be at and so does Payu.

Rain exhales and in that exhale says, “Make me yours.”

He sees something go soft and dark and pained in Payu’s eyes. Rain doesn’t entirely know what that’s about, but he knows that Payu needs this and that that was what he needed to hear and keeps needing to hear.

Payu slides into him, a burning and stretching press of dick into Rain until Payu is deep to the hilt. Payu goes a little boneless for a moment as he groans into the full press of Rain.

Rain feels so achingly full of Payu and Payu is already looking so undone with desire.

Rain has a sudden idea, an urgent idea. He hears that tell-tale inhale of breath that means Payu is going to get to it, but Rain quickly grips Payu’s hips, keeping him grounded and deep inside him.

“P’Payu,” he says and Payu has that startled twist in his expression again.

Rain says, “Who do I belong to?”

It takes Payu a moment to respond, but he says, “Me. You belong to me.”

Rain swallows. Telling Payu what to do feels so unnatural, but it’s what’s needed. “You need to tell me. Tell me while you fuck me.” He asks again, “Who do I belong to?”

Rain pulls Payu by the hips, tugging him that much deeper inside in emphasis.

Payu pauses and Rain is sure it must be because he’s not used to being the one taking orders. He wonders if it rankles him. He wonders if his heart feels the same as Rain’s, like it’s all a little bit wrong even though it’s right.

“Me.” Payu is looking at Rain with an intensity that Rain isn’t sure what to do with. Jesus fuck he knows there’s going to be a conversation about all this later. Payu says thickly, “You’re mine.”

Fuck it.

“Good boy,” Rain says. He releases his hold on Payu’s hips just as Payu’s eyes widen at the words.

Payu’s expression isn’t quite blank, but it isn’t as unhappily shocked as Rain anticipated either. Instead, Payu’s eyebrows twitch slightly as he takes the ’good boy’ in. Payu’s mouth slowly draws to one side and develops into a smile and his eyes change. Rain no longer detects hints of the lightning anger; instead, he sees the dark glittering of…amazement?

Rain doesn’t even know how to feel; his heart is scattering to pieces under this expression.

Payu looks at Rain for a long time, until Rain wonders if he can hold this facade of control up any longer. Miraculously, Rain does.

Payu withdraws just enough to thrust back into Rain in one delicious motion. “Unf!” Rain breaths at the end of the thrust. Payu leans forward over Rain and takes a few more easy thrusts until their positioning is optimal.

When the slide of dick within Rain is smooth, Payu’s head bows such that his forehead rests on Rain’s chest. Rain brings one arm over his shoulders and the other into Payu’s hair.

“Fuck me how you need,” Rain says. “I’ll tell you if it’s too much.”

There is only a murmur from Payu and then the first slow thrust. It feels good to have Payu inside him, but Rain realizes as Payu begins his progression into fucking Rain, that this is very different from the usual sex they have.

Payu is and always has been a perfect and attentive lover. When they have sex and even when Rain is being ‘punished’, the focus has always been on Rain. Rain has never questioned this; it has been clear from the start that Payu’s pleasure is derivative of Rain’s pleasure. This is part of their dynamic. Payu set this tone and kept it.

This time, Rain realizes, is the first time that Payu is doing what Payu needs with no specific regard for Rain. Rain has given him permission. Rain is letting Payu let go for a minute.

Rain realizes he likes this feeling–loves this feeling.

He likes that Payu has let go of himself beneath Rain’s oversight. It feels important. It feels powerful.

Rain suddenly feels overwhelmed with the gravity of it.

Payu is trusting him with this more unrestrained version of himself.

He curls his fingers that much more into his hair as Payu drives into him. Payu’s breath is hot and uneven against Rain’s chest as he fucks into him. Rain is hard and his cock is leaking with need and Payu isn’t touching him. Under normal circumstances he’d beg for that, but this isn’t about Rain; it’s about Payu.

“Tell me,” Rain says because they have both forgotten Rain’s earlier command.

Payu’s cock drives into him and at the apex of the deep thrust, Payu says, “Mine.”

“Yours,” Rain agrees softly with a breathy gasp. “...Say it again.”

“Mine…” Payu says at the apex of the next thrust. He’s looking at Rain and the gaze is dark and murky with want and need. It makes Rain feel vibrant with feeling; this wild and unrestrained desire in Payu’s eyes – it’s all for Rain. Rain’s always known it, but this is further proof that Payu loves and wants him from the very center of his being. It’s something so deep now that it's inextricably woven into their souls.

Payu continues to say it, taking what he needs from Rain. He says it over and over again, “Mine.. You’re mine… Mine...”

Rain feels like he just might combust as Payu pistons his hips into him, drives into him, claims him.

Payu says it again and again until he stutters with orgasm, his cum hot and liquid inside Rain. Rain’s erection is forgotten, but he has no qualms with that; tonight is not about Rain. It’s all Payu.

He is most definitely Payu’s.

Heart..

Rain kisses Payu’s temple.

Body..

He winds his arms up around Payu’s back, fingers finding the nice hand-hold that Payu’s shoulders provide.

..and Soul.

He finds Payu’s mouth and kisses him, a firm press of lips.

~*~*~
PAYU

Payu leans his head on Rain’s chest. Rain’s heart-beat is frantic against the press of Payu’s ear to his heart.

Payu has exerted himself completely–physically, emotionally, spiritually. It’s with this exhaustion that he collapses on Rain post-orgasm, still buried deep within him. He can’t even muster the will to withdraw, and truthfully he doesn’t want to just yet. He wants to stay connected in every way possible–body to body, heart to heart, soul to soul.

Can’t Rain see just how much he belongs to him?

Rain’s arms are wound up around his back and Payu feels tethered, in a tranquil way. Rain’s lips are in his hair, pressing the softest of kisses against him.

His own heart still thumps wildly.

The fogginess of his fury is finally lifting. When Payu lifts his head to put his chin on Rain’s chest and look at him, it’s with perfect clarity that he sees Rain’s heart. He feels like he sees straight to the center of him–of them.

Rain is his, and he is Rain’s.

Completely.

Rain gazes back at him calmly. Rain lifts one hand off Payu’s shoulder blade and strokes his fingers into his hair, carding them pleasantly through the strands. Rain asks softly, “Better?”

Payu rests his cheek back down against his chest and nods against Rain’s skin; he can’t even muster a verbalization. He closes his eyes as Rain continues to stroke his hair with such gentle care.

Another kiss is placed atop his head as Rain adds softly, “...good.”

Payu slides both arms beneath Rain’s back and holds onto him firmly, listening to his heart. He doesn’t want to let go, and Rain doesn’t seem inclined to either. Rain confirms this when he says, “Sssh.. shh.. Just rest, baby. Just rest. I’m right here. I’m right here. Just rest.”

Payu’s eyes flutter open, then shut again.

He’s too tired to think and too tired to feel, but he’s steeped in everything Rain and doesn’t have to do either of those things. It’s a pleasant place to be, a warm and floaty heart-space.

He’s not sure when it happens, but it happens: Rain facilitates a gentle repositioning and clean-up that Payu barely registers. He winds up back in Rain’s arms, with his head against Rain’s chest and Rain’s arms around him. It feels so warm and so gentle. It’s in this place that Payu drops into sleep, still enveloped in everything Rain.

Don’t ever let go…

~*~*~*~

Payu becomes aware at some point that he is alone in bed. He blinks blearily awake, hand reaching out and not finding Rain. Rain’s side of the bed space is still warm; he’ll probably be back soon, but Payu won’t go back to sleep until he returns and nestles back into his arms.

He’s just leaning up on one elbow to check the time–4:05 a.m.--when he hears a strangled yelp from the bathroom.

Rain!

Payu vaults upward to sit up and slide out of bed. He makes it quickly into the hall where he sees the bathroom door ajar and the light on.

Payu comes to stand in the open doorway and sees Rain; his back is to him and he’s wearing nothing but his boxers. He’s facing the mirror with his head bowed down and his arms spread wide over the counter. Rain must have heard Payu’s arrival because he slowly straightens up and turns to face Payu, leaning backward to half-sit onto the bathroom counter.

That’s when Payu sees where the yelp must have originated from: Rain’s body, marred and marked with bruises everywhere.

He did that.

“...Jesus Christ…” he says softly, and the pain of it thumps in his heart.

He did that.

He inhales softly, looking over his beautiful boy from feet to face, littered with marks that are that mottled red with fresh bruising. He finally makes eye contact with Rain, who is staring back at Payu, waiting. Rain’s expression is unreadable, and Payu feels an anxious and apologetic stab of guilt.

Fuck.

Rain’s chin lifts slightly as he stares at Payu across the divide from where Rain is seated on the counter to where Payu is lingering in the doorway.

Payu swallows.

He takes a hesitant half-step into the bathroom, then another, and another until he is standing just before Rain.

Rain watches him, chin still lifted slightly, expression still worryingly passive. Payu wishes he knew how he was feeling or what he was thinking. Jesus, he really is getting a taste of his own medicine right now, isn’t he?

Standing the way Rain’s standing, chin lifted and eyes staring at Payu down from the nose, makes Rain look a little like a haughty Prince. He thinks wryly that it’s a fitting look for Rain, because Rain certainly is the ruler of his heart.

Payu comes to kneel on the tile before his boy and looks up at him.

He doesn’t even know what to say, but he knows where he needs to start. He tries to be soft, but his voice is rough with feeling, “I’m sorry.”

Rain stares down at Payu, and Payu is left in an uncomfortable space of not-knowing for what feels like an eternity. He simply does not know how Rain is going to react–what Rain’s judgment shall be. Will he be angry? Upset? Hurt? Sad?

He lowers his gaze, feeling the guilt and concern settle back in.

A surprisingly soft hand comes down onto Payu’s hair, a gentle pressure on the top of Payu’s head. His heart and his mind feel suddenly a bit subdued under Rain’s touch.

“I forgive you,” Rain says. It’s this simple forgiveness that sends Payu suddenly looking back up at him. “Though really,” Rains says with a gentleness that sends Payu’s heart reeling, “there’s nothing to forgive.”

Payu stares at him, not even sure what to think or feel. How? Just …how is Rain even real?

“It looks way worse than it feels,” Rain says, eyes finally dancing a little, though he’s not smiling yet. Rain’s fingertips trail down through his hair, over his ear, and to hold Payu gently at the side of his face. “You don’t need to apologize.”

Rain’s fingertips curl to hold him beneath his chin, the thumb dragging over Payu’s lower lip. Rain says, “I wanted you to do it. I wanted you to have what you wanted–what you needed. Did you get what you needed?”

Payu’s heart thumps along.

Did he?

Yes.

He thinks he did.

He just needed…

…he didn't know what he needed exactly, but he got it. The tempest of his heart has calmed. His soul is satisfied.

“Yeah–yes,” he says, pressing the side of his face into Rain’s bare abdomen. Rain’s hand smoothes over the exposed side of Payu’s face in gentle caresses. It feels nice. He winds his arms around Rain’s thighs, holding him just beneath where Rain’s ass is half-perched against the counter.

Rain continues to pet him and Payu lets him.

Eventually the petting ceases with Rain’s hand coming to a rest on the back of Payu’s neck. His hand is warm. His hand is gentle.

“P’Payu…”

“Mmm?”

“It’s not your fault.”

Payu knows they have to talk about it eventually. He knows the events of the previous night demand explanation. He just doesn’t know if he can give an apt accounting of the workings of his heart; he’s not entirely sure himself.

Logically, he knows Strong hitting on and propositioning Rain isn’t his fault. These things happen. He can’t realistically be with Rain every second of his life—he can’t keep Rain safe every second of his life. He wishes he could, but it’s just not how life works. So it happened and he hates that it happened.

“The kidnapping wasn’t your fault.”

Payu’s thoughts stop dead.

All he can feel is the heavy thumping of his heart.

Fuck.

Rain really just cut to the center of his bullshit.

He’s so stunned he doesn’t even know how to respond because Rain is right. This is what everything is really about: the kidnapping. It’s not Rain getting hit on. It’s not Strong. It’s not any of that. It’s the fucking kidnapping--the thing that still haunts the edges of his heart.

“P’Payu, you know that, right? It’s not your fault.”

Payu’s heart disagrees.

Payu exhales slowly, his arms around Rain’s body tightening just that much more.

Rain says it again and the words prickle through his heart, “It’s not your fault.”

All Payu can do is stay there, listening against his abdomen.

Rain’s fingers are carding through his hair again, but Payu’s attention is too acutely focused on the conversation to derive real pleasure from it. He recognizes it for the soothing thing it’s supposed to be, even if he doesn’t feel soothed. He’s not sure anything can soothe him when it comes to this.

“The person you’re really upset with—it isn’t Strong, is it?”

What Rain is saying is true.

“It’s yourself,” Rain says gently.

How is Rain so fucking perceptive?

He squeezes his eyes shut tight; his eyes feel strangely hot and damp and his heart suffused with guilty pain. It hurts.

Rain keeps petting him, which is good, because the truth spoken in the open between them has completely leveled his heart.

Payu feels at fault. He is at fault.

Payu swallows, and finally manages to make his throat work. “I told you I’d protect you. That you’d always be safe.”

“I know, baby,” Rain says. “And you take such good care of me. You take such good care of me.”

But not good enough.

He can’t get his throat working again to say so.

The corners of his eyes feel hot and his heart tight. “I shouldn’t have raced him.”

“You couldn’t have known what he would do.”

“I should have.”

“In some matters, actions can’t be explained with reason,” Rain says, quoting Payu’s words back at him from way back then; these were the words he used to justify the race. It feels like a slap to the face, but he knows that’s not what Rain is intending. It stings all the same. “Isn’t that what you said?”

Payu nods, because yes. He had said it.

Rain says, “You needed to do it.”

“I shouldn’t have.”

“You couldn’t have known.”

“You’re more important. I shouldn’t have done it. I should have known.” Payu shakes his head into his stomach and both of Rain’s hands come around his head in a tight hug.

“P’Payu.” It’s Rain’s new dominant voice, and he’s finding he doesn't entirely hate the way it makes him feel–how it focuses his head and heart.

Rain slides down from his perch on the countertop. It becomes clear that he’s sliding down to be on the ground with him, so Payu adjusts to make space for him. Rain takes Payu’s face in both of his hands, the way he’s kneeling still making him a head taller. Payu doesn’t miss the slight wince of pain as Rain moves. “You couldn’t have known.”

Rain’s gaze is intense and it holds Payu’s. He can’t look away, not that he wants to. Rain’s brown eyes are so full of concern and determination. He loves Rain’s eyes when they’re fierce like this.

Rain is holding his face, looking between his eyes with an intensity that makes Payu feel seen. “Why didn’t you tell me this has been bothering you this entire time?”

“I..” Payu falters.

….wanted to be strong? Wanted to protect you? Wanted to be your constant pillar of strength?

It’s all just pride.

Rain kisses his mouth and says, lips brushing against his, “You can let me be strong for you too sometimes. I want to be strong for you too. Let me be strong for you tonight, hm? It’s okay.”

Rain brushes the errant strands of Payu’s bangs back behind his ear. Payu shuts his eyes and he takes Rain in both arms.

How the fuck did he win this perfect boy’s heart?

Rain’s arms come around him too and Rain kisses the side of his head. Rain says again, “Let me be strong for you too. You can’t be the only one strong for us. Not always.”

He wishes he could.

It stings like failure, but Rain is saying, “It’s not how this works.”

Payu nods into the space where his head is jammed up beneath Rain’s chin against his neck. Rain is petting down the back of his head and neck when Payu feels a surprising heat at the corners of his eyes. He’s not in the habit of crying, and he’s not about to start, so that’s as far as it gets – that and one dry sob that takes the form of a harsh exhale.

It hurts. All of this hurts.

“Ssh, baby. It’s okay. I’ve got you,” Rain says.

I’ve got you. You’re safe. You’re mine. I’m yours..

He feels that message of Rain’s through every pet and sweet kiss to his hair and face that Rain gives him.

“I get to take care of you too sometimes, baby. Let me take care of you too,” Rain is saying gently into his hair in repeating, gentle assertions and praising. It feels so, so nice. It feels nice to be taken care of like this–to have Rain loving him like this. “I love that you take such good care of me, let me take good care of you too..”

He doesn’t know that what Rain is saying is necessarily true. Payu can always be strong for them. He wants to be. He has been. He still wants to be.

And yet… seeing Rain like this—so tender and so strong—is doing all sorts of things to his heart. It makes him feel soft inside. Rain caring for him like this is a good feeling.

Payu holds onto him for a while longer before Rain finally suggests gently in his ear, “P’Payu, let’s go back to bed for now. Hm?”

Rain disentangles himself from Payu and they both stand. Payu has the presence of mind to open the medicine cabinet and take out the Arnicare. Rain may be taking care of him emotionally, but Payu can sure as hell return the favor for Rain by taking care of the physical damage he wrought.

“Come to bed,” Rain says again, taking his hand and tugging him in that direction. Payu flicks off the bathroom light on the way, box of Arnicare in hand.

Payu says softly and devoid of his usual commanding tone; he’s feeling too laid-bare and emotionally exhausted to make demands. “Lay down. Let me help you with this.”

“All right,” Rain says, “If it will make you feel better.”

“It will,” Payu says as Rain lays down in the middle of the bed. Payu settles between the slight spread of his legs, where Rain makes further space for him.

Shit he really did a number on his baby. He’s going to be mottled black and blue.

“I’m sorry,” he says again softly.

Rain shakes his head. “I told you. Don’t be,” Rain gazes up at him from where his head is on the pillow. He tucks in his lower lip and Payu knows this to be Rain hesitating about voicing something. Rain does voice it though, “I liked it.”

Payu exhales softly, a soft laugh through his nose. “Is there anything you don’t like?”

“When it comes to you?” Rain is smiling, “No.”

Payu leans down and ghosts his fingertips along Rain’s inner thigh. It’s too light a touch for him to hurt Rain, but he knows they must be tender. He lifts one of Rain’s legs gently by the calf and kisses the space just at the inner knee. “I’m sorry all the same.”

He opens the Arnicare and warms it between his fingers. Payu takes his time, gently rubbing each hickey and bite-mark with the cream on middle and forefinger.

Rain watches him steadily, seemingly content to be cared for.

Maybe it’s because the rest of Bangkok is asleep, but this moment–this space feels like it’s just for them. They can be here in the dimness of their room, heart to heart and soul to soul.

Payu works his way gently along each inner leg then gently snaps at the waistband of Rain’s boxers. He knows he has to see what he did to Rain’s ass, and boy the concern is not unwarranted; it’s a large area of bruising that takes up about a third of his ass cheek.

“...” Payu sighs.

He gently works his fingers against the area. Rain can’t hide the soft hiss.

“Tender?”

“Mm-hmm..”

“I’m sorry…”

“Ssh. Stop that.”

Payu works it into the skin then upon completion taps his hip, letting Rain know he’s done. Rain tugs up his underwear and resumes his relaxed position on his back.

Payu repeats the gentle painstaking process of rubbing cream into each small bite and hickey over abdomen and chest and all the way up to his neck.

He pauses again at the deep damage to Rain’s neck, the only place where he actually broke skin–the place where he lost control. The wounds have already closed–it’s small–but he still did that. He still did that. He still lost control.

“..Sorry..” he whispers. Really, this is the thing that upsets him the most. He hurt Rain–the person he has vowed with all his heart to protect. To never hurt. To never let down. To never–

This apology earns him a smack to the hip. “Hey. Didn’t I tell you to stop saying that?”

“You did, but…” Payu sighs, his breath catching a little in his throat, “Rain… I hurt you. That’s unacceptable…”

Rain lets out a long breath, gazing up at him. “I mean.. yeah, you did. But you also listened when I told you to stop. It’s not that bad,” Rain says, and Payu worries that Rain is making light of it to ease his guilt. It looks bad.

“...Mmm…” Rain is humming thoughtfully. “Maybe next time dial it back like 20 percent though?”

Payu feels his mood darken along with his heart. There’s no way he’s even chancing hurting Rain like that again. “There won't be a next time.”

Rain’s eyes suddenly turn hard, a look he’s not sure he’s seen on Rain’s face before. “P’Payu.” His tone is sternly disapproving.

Oh good god, Rain is still trying to dominate him. The problem is that it’s not exactly not working on Payu? Rain is going to be a complete menace if he manages to perfect this tone. Payu has created a monster.

Unfortunately for Payu, Rain takes Payu’s distracted moment of contemplation to sit up and jam his thumb into Payu’s mouth for the second time that night, hooking it behind his bottom row of teeth. “Stop apologizing. You need to trust me too, you know. Besides, I like it. I like it when you make me yours.”

And yet, right this moment it doesn’t feel like Payu is the one doing any of that. It’s Rain.

In any case, the message is clear to Payu: don’t make me make you.

Rain lays back down, tugging Payu down to follow by virtue of the hold on his teeth. Payu comes to land on hands and knees when Rain finally releases his hold, thumb sliding out of his mouth. Rain’s looking adorably self-satisfied, a kitten in tiger’s clothing.

Payu eyes him, “you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Yup.”

Payu frowns at him, but he can’t really be that upset with Rain. He just doesn’t know how to feel about this power shift. He always knew it would be a matter of time before Rain figured out just how much Payu’s heart was his; he just wasn’t expecting this.

Rain’s mouth twists into a cute pout–an expression Payu is more used to seeing. “Mmm… If you really feel bad about it, I won't object to you making it up to me.”

“What exactly would you be demanding?”

“Hmm…” Rain pretends to think. “There’s plenty of outfits in the closet you haven't tried on.”

Payu closes his eyes, groaning. Of course.

He’s glad Rain is in a good enough mood to threaten sexy cosplay, despite recent events. And, it makes Payu feel a little better; it feels like normalcy.

“Or if you don’t like that idea…” Rain starts softly. Payu’s eyes snap open because the tone sounds dangerous. Rain finishes, “I could punish you.”

Payu’s heart stutters.

Payu’s shock must be evident because Rain’s eyes go wide and he’s suddenly no longer playing. “Um, or, you know…” Rain’s blushing from self-consciousness, “...we don’t have to if you hate that idea.”

Payu finds Rain’s back-tracking a little bit heartbreaking; he in no way wants to hinder Rain’s developing assertiveness and here he is doing just that.

“I don’t hate that idea,” he says carefully, trying to work through his feelings at the same time as he speaks them. “Is that something you want?”

“I mean,” Rain says, “I don’t know. Maybe. I haven’t really thought much about it…”

Rain is going all shy and soft, a complete contrast to the fierce little beast he saw just moments ago.

Just how long has Rain been thinking about this?

Payu stares down at his boy, considering. There isn’t a thing in the world he wouldn’t give Rain if he asks for it. “If there’s something you want, all you need to do is ask.”

He knows it’s not exactly that simple, but it’s a starting point.

Rain is looking at him, eyes darting over Payu’s face. He knows he’s being studied. He’s glad they have transitioned out of playful banter because this is important. It seems they need to re-address their framework. There can be no room for misunderstanding.

Payu shifts to lay down beside Rain, lying on his side to look at him. Rain shifts to do the same. Payu places a warm hand over his hip.

“Let’s start here: are things still working for you? Are you happy?” Payu asks.

Rain’s eyes are big again, “I’m happy! I’m totally happy. I mean.. I like how we are now. It’s totally fine.”

This is not the information Payu is looking for and ’totally fine’ doesn’t sound entirely convincing either; Rain is trying to assure Payu, which isn’t what he’s fishing for. He needs to keep prying.

“... ‘But’...?”

“There’s no ‘but’,” Rain says, but his eyes are sliding to the side and Payu knows he needs to draw Rain’s real feelings out. He needs to make him feel comfortable enough to do that.

Payu thinks for awhile, trying to figure out the best way to get the heart of him. Maybe he just needs to give Rain permission to ask for it. He tries, “It’s okay if you want to change things. Just because things work well the way they are, doesn’t mean we can’t try new things–different things. Is there something you want to ask for?”

Rain shakes his head, “Nope. I like how things are.”

Payu eyes him. “So you don’t want to ask if I’m okay with you taking charge of me?”

Rain goes quiet and doesn’t refute it. Rain’s mouth tucks in with uncertainty. Rain does want to ask that.

Payu cocks an eyebrow at him, “I thought so.”

Rain avoids eye contact, so Payu takes him by the chin and forces him to look. “You can ask for it. So ask it.”

His voice is small, but he does ask, “P’Payu… can I… take charge of you?”

Brave boy.

“You can.”

Rain is playing with his lower lip on his teeth. He’s anxious about it, which Payu understands. This is all very different. If he’s honest with himself, it’s not something he ever thought Rain would ask for and not something that Payu had even considered.

Payu is not one typically to be led; he likes to be the one in control. They both know this. And yet, the one strange silver-lining of the last 24 hours has shown him that if Rain is the one doing it, he’s not likely to hate it. If it means Rain showing an entirely new–and frankly sexy--side of himself, then Payu is 100% going to encourage it. How can he not?

Rain swallows. “Not like all the time or anything. Just like to try it or something. Sometime.”

Rain’s still being so shy about it. Now that Payu has seen the confident ferocity in Rain, he realizes he is determined to bring it back. What does Payu need to do to out this unanticipated and beautiful facet of Rain?

Payu does a quick calculation; he can't let too much time pass or Rain will try and shy away from the notion.

“Next Saturday then,” Payu says, “Take charge of me.”

Rain practically sputters. Rain’s hands come to touch Payu at the chest; Payu’s not sure if Rain’s pushing him away (and by extension the concept) or clinging to him for comfort. “P’Payu! I don’t know if–”

“--You can do it.”

“What if I suck?”

“You don’t suck. In fact, last night you were quite good at it.”

He sees the red of embarrassment creeping up Rain’s neck and onto his cheeks.

“Hmmm…” Payu hums, “Unless… you think you can’t do it?” It’s a challenge, and if there’s one thing that fires Rain up, it’s a challenge.

Rain’s eyes narrow and he’s scowling. There’s the hint of that ferocious little beast. Payu finds himself suddenly pushed onto his back with Rain’s hands pressing down onto his shoulders and Rain’s legs bracketing his hips. “I can do it.”

There it is. Payu chuckles softly, which sends Rain into a further scowling pout—his cute tiger. Payu doesn’t mean for his laughter to be condescending, so he lets his expression ease out into affection. He lifts his hand and brushes Rain’s hair back behind his ears.

Goddamn, he loves this beautiful boy.

“I think you’re off to a great start,” Payu says.

Rain presses two fingers to Payu’s lips. Payu can see the transition as Rain tries to puzzle out going from hesitant to commanding. Rain hesitates, clears his throat, then says firmly, “Did I say you could talk?”

Off to a great start, indeed.

Payu opens his mouth slightly and draws both of Rain’s fingers into his mouth with a nip. He holds the fingers between his teeth and watches Rain’s expression turn harder.

Rain warns, “Misbehaving already?”

Oh good god, this is going to be fun.

Rain draws his fingers out, Payu’s teeth scraping over them as they’re withdrawn. They’re replaced with Rain’s thumb hooked into his jaw; it seems to be Rain’s new favorite thing to do, which is fine. Payu isn’t complaining.

Rain looks down at him with unwavering resoluteness. “Behave, or I’ll have to punish you.”

Payu can’t help but laugh softly around Rain’s fingers; he’s so pleasantly surprised and pleased with this development. He hadn’t even known this was something he wanted until this very moment. And now he can’t wait to see what Rain will do–how Rain will handle him.

This is one of the many things he loves about him; Rain is constantly exceeding and defying all of his expectations.

“Ssh! No more laughing,” Rain says with a disciplinary smack to Payu’s shoulder, but Rain also seems secretly pleased from the way his eyes are dancing. “Now… tell me who you belong to.”

Rain’s thumb is removed from Payu’s mouth so he can answer. Payu cocks one eyebrow at Rain and slowly shakes his head. Payu won’t give him this. Not yet. Not so easily.

Payu says softly and carefully for the full implication to sink in, “... You know what you need to do for me to say that.”

Rain practically goes white as he works through the statement to the only conclusion: Payu won't say it until Rain… does that to him.

It’s not that Payu is expressly opposed to Rain fucking him; it’s just that Rain never expressed any interest in it before, and, Payu’s default is pretty firmly dominant. Perhaps Payu was remiss in exploring this option with Rain. In any case, he’s remedying this by offering it now.

Payu sees Rain’s brain stuttering. Apparently it’s too much for Rain to wrap his mind around.

Too far too fast.

Baby steps.

Payu raises his hands to gently rub along the lines of Rain’s sides. “... Rain, baby. You okay?”

Rain nods at first then switches to shaking his head. Then he’s doing neither of those things because he’s collapsed on top of Payu and shoving his face into his chest to hide.

Payu wraps his arms around his boy and kisses what he can reach of his hair. “Did I break your brain?”

Rain is nodding into the warmth of Payu’s chest. Payu pets his back reassuringly. Rain has tucked his chin down so Payu can’t see his face.

“... You can have that. If you want that,” Payu says, craning his neck still trying to see how Rain is faring.

Rain doesn’t respond, rabbit-still in his arms.

Payu realizes he also needs to make it clear: “Unless you don’t want to.”

This sends Rain looking up at him with fierce eyes, but a small voice, “I want to.”

“Whatever you want.”

His voice is still small, “You’ll teach me?”

“I’ll teach you,” Payu agrees.

“Saturday, you’ll let me take care of you?” Rain asks.

“You can take care of me on Saturday,” Payu agrees.

“All day?”

“If that’s what you want.”

Rain is quiet for a little bit, and Payu gets the sense that he is thinking. Whatever Rain is mulling over ultimately culminates in him saying, “I love you.”

“I love you too, cute boy,” Payu returns. He still rubs his back and gets the sense that playtime is over; Rain seems to be working himself toward sleep.

Payu whispers into his hair, “...You know that I’m already yours, don’t you?”

Rain whispers back softly with a soft exhale of a laugh, “I know.” Rain’s arms squeeze him a little bit tighter.

He pets Rain’s back for a little bit and once he thinks Rain is asleep, he lets the hand rest there. He closes his eyes and just as he’s about to let himself drop into sleep too he hears Rain whisper, “You’re mine.”

Payu chuckles.

He whispers back with a kiss to Rain’s head, “Yours.”

He snuggles a little closer.

He is Rain’s.

Heart, body, and soul.