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Clearing the Fog

Summary:

A bit of an extended scene between Sorsha and Kit in episode 1.

Notes:

I don't know when I'm going to stop screaming about this show! It will not be today, so oh well. Anyway, I sat down on Tuesday, before the finale to write a little something focused on Jade and as things go, I went to down one path, took a left turn at Albuquerque, and ended up here. Listen, I've been a Sorsha-apologist since 1990-what?!, but yes, she has some explaining to do.

Anyway, I may dip my toe back into this fandom because this show was just so much dang fun. Cheers!

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I.

By the time dawn broke over Tir Asleen, the fog that had brought the Gales had finally burned away, dissipating with a whisper, leaving behind only strewn bodies, broken and bloody. Queen Sorsha, after finally allowing herself to be tended to, sat awkwardly upon her throne, the herbs the Healer had supplied not quite yet bringing relief - the soft voice in her head making her wonder if the pain wasn’t deserved. If she was being honest, it was.

The great hall was filled Ballatine and a smattering of Palcacade lieutenants, along with King Hastur’s contingent, Kit, and Jade. Wounds were being tended to the queen listened to the current witness, young Graydon Hastur, put the pieces of the attack together.

Despite the pulsing pain that radiated from her left side where the barbed whip of The Doom had dug into her flesh, she kept an attentive face, and stiff back as best she could. A lifetime as a soldier and now a queen, she knew how to put on a brave front even in the face of evil. General Kael had engrained that in her. Her mother, Bavmorda, had demanded it of her. Presently, she called on that training once more, her face stone while her growing fears beat a frantic rhythm beneath her robe, held closed with her tight fist at her side.

The next few moments passed in a haze. She knew the steps to this dance, the movements for this routine, because she had done the same not so long ago but still a lifetime away. She had once stood up when pressed into service. First, out of fealty and duty to a power she thought she understood, and then again for a cause she believed in, for people she believed in.

Her pride was lined with bittersweetness when Kit said the words, “I’ll go” and pledged to find her brother. The "yes" was almost out of Sorsha's mouth before her child could even finish speaking. The moment was too important, so she let her have it, she knew she needed the validation. Craved it even, just as she once had.

If the pain hadn’t been echoing up her side she would've laughed, at the surprise in Kit's voice as she repeated her request. Next came the elder soldier who volunteered his service, and then without hesitation, Kit's Jade. Stoic, stalwart, and sensible, Jade. Ballantine’s charge and another of Sorsha’s attempts at redemption that she wasn’t quite sure she would ever earn.

Sorsha watched the ever-loyal, and an ever-noble young woman stepped forward, and she hoped that the obvious pride in her eyes was mistaken for pain by those who were keeping tabs. Jade’s conviction rang out clearly in her words, "where the princess goes, I go.” And not for the first time, Sorsha wished things were different. Wished she didn't have to marry her daughter off to some stranger. Wished she didn't have to design to send the knight-to-be away, even if only briefly, just to give them both time. Time to settle into themselves. Time to discover that duty and obligation came with a terrible sacrifice. She had resigned herself to the fact that Kit was probably going to hate her forever, but Sorsha knew what she had hoped Kit didn’t have to learn: sometimes love meant sacrifice.

If Madmartigan were still here, she was sure her choices would've been different. That's how she managed to sleep at night. Under a blanket of "if only".

Sorsha focused her attention back on the growing fellowship. Now with the addition of young Graydon, Jade stepped just that much closer to her princess, and the queen held in a smirk behind a grimace of pain. She wasn't blind. Nobody was. Especially not King Hastur. One thing was clear, upon their return they were going to have to figure something out. If her children were to survive what was to come, then allying with Galladorn was only the tip of the spear.

Boorman was last. Still a thief, but a thief with a debt and just as much to prove as everyone else. He would finish what Mads started. And if not, nothing mattered anyway.
Once satisfied, Sorsha had dismissed them all for a few hours of rest and preparations. They would leave after the high sun.
---
Kit moved to help her mom to stand, but Sorsha held up her hand and subtly tipped her chin towards Jade, who was doing a terrible job of trying not to seem as if she was waiting. She stood next to Ballantine, who nursed his shoulder wound, one ear on him, and then quick surreptitious glances back towards the throne, towards Kit.

“It's okay. Get some rest. We all need it.” She kept her eyes on Kit.

Kit paused and gave her mother a once over. The tension in her jaw was clear, and Kit knew the pain was bothersome. Less than a candlemark earlier her own hands had been covered with her mother's blood. She looked toward Jade and then back at her mom.

“I'll be fine. Go, get rest and see me when you get up.” She nodded reassuringly.

Kit relented and walked towards the red-haired knight-to-be. Jade had a soft smile for her and concern in her eyes. For as frantic as Kit felt, the gaze of her best friend brought a calm that couldn't be explained.

Sorsha held in her smile and then cut her eyes toward King Hastur. His dark eyes were fixed on the two young women. The pair headed for the doors of the great hall and his scowl was evident.

“King Hastur,” Sorsha called. “Might I have a word with you?” She mustered a smile that didn't reach her eyes. “And, perhaps your help.”

With a heavy slap of dismissal on his son's back, the King fixed now bright eyes on the queen and headed towards her. Her words to Boorman earlier played in her ears; I'll keep this up for as long as I have to.
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II.
Together the friends made their way through the small courtyard and towards the stable, their shoulders bumping along the way for good measure, evidence of the coming exhaustion. There was no need to sneak in through windows at this point. Besides, it was broad daylight, and if anyone took issue with the fact that Kit chose to find some comfort in the arms of her best friend, Jade would've cut them down before they even had a chance to draw breath.

The adrenaline had worn off by the time they made their way to the stable loft. They shed shoes and clothes in silence, fatigue apparent in Kit's sagging shoulders and Jade's droopy eyes. She tossed the princess a pair of pants and a shirt before she wrapped the now frizzy, bountiful red curls in her scarf. As if tethered, they moved as one towards the small bed Jade slept in and curled up together. Often when Kit snuck into her room to sleep, Kit would end up wrapped around the slightly taller knight-to-be, face buried in her hair. Today they lay facing each other. The small space required that they tangle their legs up to be completely comfortable. Jade pulled Kit in so that her forehead rested on her sternum. She rubbed soothing circles into the back of her neck and breathed her in.

"I've got you." Her voice was a warm whisper.

She felt Kit nod before letting go of a breathless, "I know."

* *****

 

The high sun was less than two candle marks away when Kit finally stirred from her slight rest. For a moment she watched Jade sleep. Her eyelashes fluttered against the constellation of her freckles, and not for the first time, Kit wondered what it would be like to count them out with her fingertips or perhaps her lips. The image startled her so that she shivered. The vibration made Jade stir and Kit recovered with a fake yawn and moved to get up. With her back to the waking Jade, she stood and stretched.

Sleep still clung to her voice when she finally spoke. "I'm gonna go get cleaned up." She stepped into her boots and grabbed her cloak. "See you in a bit."

Jade nodded and watched until Kit disappeared down the stairs.

*****

Kit hovered in the hall and watched her mom from the doorway of her bedroom for a moment. Her hair was down and tumbled past her shoulders, curling at the ends. Her hair was now blonder than her youth but streaked through with red and strands of silver weaved through as well. She was propped against the headboard with her eyes closed and a mound of pillows that encircled her. She looked tired even in her rest. Kit felt a little knot in her stomach.

“You can come in you know.” The silence of the room was broken by the sound of a voice raspy with exhaustion. The older woman hadn't even opened her eyes, didn't need to. Her daughter was practically vibrating with all manner of things.

Sorsha opened her eyes and adjusted her robe a bit. The herbs were finally working a bit, but the wound was still weepy. She'd be concerned once Kit left, but for now, she needed to hold it in for just a while longer. She was good at that. The holding in, the tamping down. As she watched her daughter amble towards her, she saw the ways they were alike in that way. Pent up and tight. Threatening to burst.

“You weren't going to sneak out again, were you?” She raised her eyebrow pointedly.

Kit opened and closed her mouth, realizing that whatever response she didn't have ready would be a load of crap. Instead, she sat down on the edge of the bed with a huff. She folded up her left leg onto the bed, her right left dangling off the side, the sole of her leather boot just grazing the stone floor.

“You knew?” Kit had the decency to look a bit embarrassed.

Sorsha grinned and lowered her head to catch Kit's darting brown eyes. “You really think I don't know you spend at least three nights out of every week climbing up the drainpipe and into the stable loft.” Her tone was not cutting, nor accusatory. It was simply an observation.

Kit groaned and let her head loll back. "It's fine. If I had a best friend that close to me, I'd do the same thing." Sorsha tried to dispel the worry that was evident on Kit’s face.

The blush had subsided once Kit finally met her mom's eyes. “I just didn't want to be by myself.”

“Kit, you don't have to explain yourself or apologize. I understand. It's Jade. You've been joined at the hip since she came to Tir Asleen, I would expect nothing less.” She grinned and added quickly, “You're not in trouble, okay?”

She was quiet until Kit nodded. “In fact, I believe I need to apologize to you.”

Kit's eyes grew wide. Apologies were not so easily given by her mother, but here she was offering one up when it was Kit who felt like she should be apologizing.

Sorsha closed her eyes against the pain for a moment and inhaled deeply through her nose. She opened her eyes and met her daughter's curious gaze. "There are some things you should know before you leave. About what you may be heading into, and about what you may face," she paused before continuing, "and about why I did what I did."

Kit's mouth turned down in a bit of a frown, the confusion evident in a creased brow. "Wh-what did you do?"

The queen's chest rose with a deep breath. "I never wanted you to feel like a prisoner, you have to know that. I never wanted to take away your choices, but I did because I know it's the only way to keep you both safe.” It was a poor excuse, and she knew it. She pinched the bridge of her nose and continued. “You would think I'd know better. I grew up without any idea that choices existed. I had hoped to spare you of that harm, but alas, it seems I've done nothing but repeat the cycle."

"Is this about Graydon?" Her upper lip curled in a bit of sneer. He probably really wasn't a bad guy, albeit a bit mousy, but not that bad. She huffed. "I just don't see why it has to be me, or why we have to get married. Like can't we just sign a treaty or something, like a handshake maybe?" She waved her hand through the air in a show of exasperation.

Sorsha tried not to roll her eyes at her daughter's naivety even though she understood. "It's just the way things are done, Kit."

She crossed her arms and tossed her head in protest. "Yeah, well things are stupid," she grumbled, mostly under her breath.

"Kit," she hissed, warning clear in her tone. "You have to understand that things are not always black and white. To be queen, king, or any leader means things will often be grey and sometimes blue, and maybe even yellow depending on the season. And sometimes when you lead you have to make choices that feel like sacrifices." Sorsha looked down at the green brocade of her robe. "Sometimes you sacrifice everything." Her words were barely audible.

Kit watched her mother, the sag of her body, the bags under her eyes, and the tightness in her jaw. "Is that-," she started before swallowing hard. "Is that what I am? What this was with Graydon?"

Sorsha's eyes grew wide, and she sat forward quickly, reaching out to touch her daughter. Kit drew into herself more and with a sigh and quiet stab of pain Sorsha sat back against the pillows. "No, Kit, never that. Don't think like that. Alliances needed to be made." Her voice faded out as she wasn't even sure she believed it herself. "But that's not the truth, is it?" She spoke the words mostly to herself.

With narrowed eyes and her bottom lip caught between her teeth, Kit glared at her mother. "What if I want to find another way? Once we come back with Airk, let us figure something else out. Let me choose, let me make my own choices. You got to choose." Her voice pitched with frustration.

Sorsha regarded her daughter for a moment, so much like her father, but also very much like she was at the same age. And just like her, her daughter deserved the whole truth. The ugly and the unvarnished. If this was the last time, she was going to see her daughter, she wanted to be clear about a few things. Sorsha nearly surprised herself with what came out first.
"I seconded Ballentine's petition for Jade to the Shining Legion." Her words cut across the quiet of the room and for a moment all the air seemed to leave the room. Like the sunlight that streamed through the window, she could see understanding illuminate across Kit’s features.

"Why would you do that!?" Kit jumped to her feet with a shout. "Wh-what did- why?!" She gestured wildly. "Why would you send Jade away?" Her voice broke a bit on the words. "Y-you know how much she means to me? She's my best friend and you were just going to send her off and for what!"

Kit paced around the four-poster bed. She tumbled over her words, incensed. Sorsha only massaged the wound wreaking havoc across her left side and hip, her eyes fixed on Kit's angry pacing. Eventually, Kit stopped the frustrated rant and stood once more before her mother. "Are you going to answer me or are you just going to stare? Tell me why you thought that made sense. You say you didn't want to sacrifice me and that things are grey or blue or whatever, so please explain?" Unshed tears edged brown eyes and Sorsha felt some shame.

"Kit, will you sit back down now?" Her voice was soft, pleading.

She kept her arms crossed tight across her chest and drew closer to the bed. "Explain?"

The older woman sat up with a slight hitch and folded her hands in her lap. "Kit, I'm trying to apologize." Brown eyes grew wide in shock and then Sorsha continued. "I thought I could mold you into someone you're not. I thought I could force you into this life, but that's not fair of me. I wanted so badly for you to have a different life; we both did. And clearly, we failed." She let go of a weary sigh. "No, I failed." Kit finally unfolded her arms and leaned her shoulder against the post of the bed. "I'm afraid I've been a terrible mother." She didn't bother to wait for Kit's agreement or denial, Sorsha knew the truth. She snorted derisively. "Honestly, I've been a terrible person."

Kit found herself at the edge of the bed once more and she sat warily down on the edge. She sighed. "You're not a terrible mom or a terrible person. I mean, I do think it's crap that you want me to marry someone I don't even know and force my best friend to leave me. You certainly don't get any mom points for that, but you're not a terrible person." She shrugged a shoulder and gave a weak smirk.

Sorsha appreciated the attempt at levity. It was something Mads, and the kids came by easily, but she never quite did. "That's the thing, my darling daughter, by the time I was your age I was considered a ruthless marauder. I was working my way from lieutenant to captain in General Kael's army, and you didn't get to make captain because you knew how to curtsey." A twisted sort of satisfaction laced her words. Kit seemed to blanch a bit at the implication. She leaned back against the post and picked at the woven blanket haphazardly covering her mother's legs.

She and Airk knew the general tales of Bavmorda, General Kael, and even the Bone Reavers. They even knew that their mom had once been their grandmother's most decorated and loyal soldier. Of course, what they mostly knew were the tales told of her defeat of her mother and her turn towards the light. Those were the bedtime stories that lulled them to sleep.

She watched her daughter's face as she spoke. These were the stories that she wanted to tell, but they were her truths. It was no sense in shielding her now when they were off to probably face down the greatest of all terrors if what Willow said was the truth. "It's the truth. For a very long time, I wasn't a very good person. I didn't do particularly good things."

"But that wasn't your fault mom," Kit interrupted. "You said yourself that Bavmorda did the will of the Crone, you said you didn't have a choice."

"Yes,” she nodded. “I was duty-bound, but I believed it for a time. There was a time when I was the plague and the scourge. I was the thing that robbed people of their hope. And I believed that she was right, that we were right. I believed that absolute power was necessary, that mercy was for the weak, and love didn't matter." Kit rolled her eyes a bit. Sorsha smirked. "You'll see one day. One day, someone's going to come along and look at you like you're the whole world. And then everything changes." She watched a rush of red tint her daughter's cheeks. She didn't need to guess where Kit’s thoughts had gone.

Kit's mind had flashed to the image she had awoken to a little more than a candlemark earlier. The curly tendrils of Jade's red hair bursting from the top of her scarf, splayed across the pillow as they lay curled in towards one another. She shook her thoughts free and focused on her mother. "Why are you telling me all these things?"

Sorsha sighed. "You're about to go beyond the barrier and I won't be there to protect you. I guess I just want you to know how much I do love you and that I do believe in you. And I know I'm awful at letting you know, - " She winced with a ripple of pain.

"Mom?" Kit sat forward and reached for the older woman. "Are you sure you're okay, you're starting to scare me?"

Sorsha touched her hand and rubbed the back of her knuckles. "I promise I'm okay. I won't lie, this hurts, but I'm fine." She grinned. "Believe it or not, I've had worse."

"Oh yeah," Kit sat back seemingly satisfied for the moment. "Wait, let me guess, childbirth." Her smile was cheeky.

Her mother nodded and grinned. "Yes, delivering two humans out of-

Kit held up a hand in surrender. "Okay, okay, okay. No need."

Sorsha held her side as she tried not to laugh. "The only thing worse than childbirth was the time my mother tried to turn me, your father, and a cadre of soldiers into pigs."

"I'm sorry what?" Kit's eyebrows rose to her hairline.

"That was quite possibly the worst pain I ever experienced." She shook her head at the memory.

"Why would she do that to you?" Kit's voice was full of genuine horror.

"Definitely because she could, but mostly because I betrayed her. I finally saw her for what she was. I saw what I had become and where I was headed." She signed wistfully. "And were it not for your father, an unlikely sorcerer, and little redhead I would've remained in that dark place. For all I know, I might've helped destroy the world, and I guess I almost did."

Kit regarded her mother with a bit of new wisdom. It didn't make her choices right, but she was starting to better understand where she was coming from. It certainly didn't make it okay, but it did help to know that she was just as screwed up as she was. Kit felt in her bones that this quest would be a chance to show her mother that she too, could make her own way. She just needed a chance. "Well, I'm glad you didn't, you know, destroy everything."

"Me too." They shared a smile. "It didn't work out quite the way I planned, but I wouldn't trade the two of you for all the world, you do know that right?" She stretched her hand out and gingerly touched the back of Kit's hand that rested on the bed.

Kit nodded. "Would-" she started and then stopped, before picking at an imaginary piece of lint and then starting again. "W-would you change anything?"

Sorsha leaned her head back and looked up, gathering her thoughts. "Of course, I would, but it's not the things you think. I wouldn't change how I grew up or meeting your father. I certainly wouldn't change beating him up." Kit laughed in surprise. "It's true."

"That was totally his favorite bedtime story to tell us." Kit chuckled. "And then she kicked me right in the face." She did her best imitation of her father and caused them both to laugh.

Her mother gripped her side and drew in a breath against the pain. "Maybe less laughing."

Kit gritted her teeth. "Sorry."

Sorsha waved her off. Kit resettled on the bed and pulled at the blanket until it was actually covering her mother’s legs. She wondered how much if any sleep her mother had really gotten.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Kit asked quietly, her anxiety breaking through her bravado.

“I’ll be fine, I promise. You’ve got enough on your plate, and I don’t need to be one of them.” Sorsha looked towards the wide window to the side, the sun streaming through and brightening the room.

Kit drew her hands into her lap and fidgeted with her fingertips. “Doesn’t mean I’m not concerned.”

With tired eyes, Sorsha turned her head back towards her daughter. “Before you go, I want to give you two pieces of advice.”

“Just two!” Kit grinned broadly, creasing the dimple in her cheek. “Wow, I might not even need to write this down.”

Sorsha’s deep sigh sounded more like a low growl. “Kit!”, she admonished.

The younger woman quickly sobered and wiped the smirk from her face. “Sorry, sorry. I’m listening, I am.”

Her mother just shook her head. “Now, it might be three pieces of advice.”

Kit dropped her chin to her chest and nodded.

Sorsha just shook her head. “I’m serious about what I said before. Things will be different beyond the barrier. You’ll have to lead and make decisions and choices, and sometimes you won’t be sure about those choices.” Sorsha paused and waited until Kit lifted her head and met her eyes.

“The first thing you need to know is that despite what people say, you do need to care, you need to believe.” As expected, Kit rolled her eyes. “It’s different for everyone but find something to care about and hold onto it, hold tight.”

Kit shrugged. “But what if the thing, I’m holding lets go of me.” She pushed out her bottom lip and huffed a bit.

Sorsha felt that heartbreak as well, and she knew she didn’t have an answer because even she wavered. She started to say something else, but she could see the hardness in Kit’s eyes, the way she worried her bottom lip, and how she had drawn into herself. She wasn’t going to press. There were other things to say.

She cleared her throat and allowed them both to refocus. “The other thing is this, and this is the thing they don't tell you: Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, has good intentions. It's just that things don't always go as planned.” She looked off to the side towards the stream of sunlight. “And even if all you meant was to help escort a group of people to the barrier, not everyone agrees and what was meant to be a simple refugee trek turns into a near massacre and bloodbath. So, you save who you can, and you make promises.”

Confusion played over Kit’s features from the of an eyebrow, to the way her mouth turned down in a slight frown. This wasn’t just about advice. Kit leaned forward just a bit and waited because she could see her mother wasn’t done.

The older woman grimaced and then softly sighed right before she squared her shoulders. She refused to waver in front of her daughter. She would stand tall in her truth, even if she was using pillows to keep her upright. Her eyes found Kit’s again.

“I won't pretend I deserve to be absolved of anything nor am I trying to be. I know what they say about me. About what happened. I suppose it's a matter of perspective, but one thing I do agree on - I knew who I was looking for." She held Kit's gaze. Willed her to understand. “I won't apologize for the life I tried to give you, to give to all of you.” Her lip trembled and she took a deep breath.

The deep furrow of her daughter’s brow reminded her so much of Mads. Sometimes her children were almost too hard to look at. Almost. She wanted to wipe away the dark tendril of hair that had across her forehead but her side ached. Instead, she settled her hand on Kit's knee that rested near her shin.

Kit reflexively tensed, but it was just for a moment. Sorsha held in her sigh. That too was her fault. The truth was that part of her left with her husband. The laughter, the tenderness, the easy affection. As much as she hated Bavmorda, she understood why she had to steel herself. Why she thrust a sword in her hands and into Kael's barracks as soon as she could. Steel and fire and blood had been all she had known for so long.

“We wanted a better world for all of you”, she eventually continued after a slight pause.

“All of us?”, Kit asked

Sorsha’s smile is small but genuine. “You, Airk, Jade, Graydon, E-all of you." The start of another name easily curls into the “a” of all, unnoticed by the young woman across from her. It's what all parents want, to build better, to make a better world. I didn't want you to have the life I had.” She chuckled dryly. Bitter. “Seems I only delayed the inevitable and maybe left you unprepared.”

Kit bristled at the statement, affronted. With newly squared shoulders, Kit sat up straight. “But I am ready, mom! Jade and I are out there every day. And I’m damn good, and I'm absolutely ready! Ready to prove it to you, to everyone.” Kit gestured in a wide sweeping motion.

The action made Sorsha smile. “Oh, my sweet.” The time she didn’t falter. She reached out and pressed her hand against Kit’s cheek.

Kit was immediately comforted by the feel of her mother’s palm. A cocksure smirk lifted her child’s features, and Sorsha wanted to weep for all that she has had to lose and leave.

“So much like your father, you know that.” Kit smiled fully now, and then ducked her head under the weight of her mother's gaze. It’s not a secret. His absence had hurt them all. Another mark in her ledger of sacrifice.

She let her hand drop and then pushed the moment away while clearing the catch in her throat. “I know you are ready. I know you'll protect each other. I don't think Jade will let anything happen to you, any more than you will let something happen to her.”

Kit felt her cheeks heat up a bit almost like a reflex, and her smile beamed. “Well, I mean, that's cause I can kick her as-butt.” That signature bravado was accompanied by a lopsided smile.

And then Sorsha chuckled. She watched how the light danced in Kit’s eyes and she bit at her bottom lip to keep from airing what was obvious to anyone with eyes. She was that young once. That stubborn. That oblivious. She and Kit are alike in that way. It took a bloody battlefield and meddling magic to make her believe things like love and devotion were even possible. Mark that as another failure for the list. All that love and she has one child who treats it like a dish to be passed around, and another who can't even realize how loved they are.

“I know you're good, but even the best warriors need help. Promise me you will listen to her. Promise me you will protect each other.” Sorsha’s stare was hard and expectant.

Kit felt the gravity of the words. The words not just of a mother, but of a queen. There was something else beneath it, tickling the spaces between her words, but the younger Tanthalos doesn't quite know what it means. What was clear, was that Kit would do anything for Jade, so for once there was nothing to rebel against.

“I promise. We'll bring Airk back. All of us.”

Sorsha nodded in understanding. The conviction in Kit’s voice would have to be enough. There were so many more things to say, but the time was fleeting. It was selfish not to say more. Selfish not to apologize more. But if the last moment she had with her daughter was one where she was smiling at her with love and care then she was willing to rot in her selfishness. These were the moments she's chased simply because she hadn’t made for them and now, now there was no time left.

“There is one thing you do need to hear though.” Kit perked up. "It won't be easy to hear this, but you must. Bavmorda's blood, her spirit survived. In me, and your brother, and in you. Willow had a vision that one day that spirit would return and destroy Tir Asleen. Last night I saw it too."

Unsure of how to process this information, Kit could only admit the last words she shared with Airk. Sorsha pushed past the pain in her side and opened her arms.

Immediately, Kit folded forward into the opened arms. Kit relished the contact and for once, there was the desire to stay there in her arms. It felt like being safe. And it felt very much like being loved. Maybe when they get back from finding Airk they could do more of this. More talking. More listening. Just more.

After an extended moment, Kit stood and gave a squeeze to her mom's hand before letting go, their fingertips the last to disengage. “I should get ready. Jade's probably already at the stables.”

Sorsha just nodded. “Yes, go. We'll meet you in the courtyard half past the next candlemark.”

Kit closed a fist and then struck it against her chest before motioning through terrible half curtesy. "Your highness"

It made her mother laugh. "Go on then."

And then suddenly, there was Mad’s smile again. It would be the last thing she saw before Kit bolted from the room.

Sorsha leaned back heavily against the padding of the bed, and she wanted to scream and rage and cry and collapse all at once. Everything ached and it had nothing to do with the festering wound at her side.

 

Fade out.

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