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Kaeya Alberich: the definitive guide on being a failure

Chapter 3: Step 3: deceive the few who trust you

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

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Kaeya diverted his gaze as he watches Diluc storm out from within the headquarters, fury marked onto the experession which he had known to hold nothing but pure kindness . From his belt, the red gem marking the blessing of an Archon left a notable mark through its nonexistance, a golden chain which once held it in place snapped in half, pieces still lingering, yet the precious jewel missing from sight. The jacket which had once adorned him, marked with the symbols so dearly held by Ordo Favonius was gone, left to rot alongside his position within the office of Grand Master Varka. That marked the last moment Kaeya saw Diluc as a brother, the last time they met each other’s eyes in four years’ time.

 

Eroch, a notorious inspector for the Knights, shakes his head dissaprovingly at the gate. Kaeya remains frozen, watching his brother leave the city’s main gates, not sparing a single second’s glance as he makes his way towards Springavle.

 

He did not leave even a note behind, even a letter. Only the absolute silence which tore through Kaeya’s chest. He returned, that night, to the manor. He was afraid. Cold. Colder than he had ever been in his life, cryo vision resting against his hip. Adelinde answered the door, boxes and furniture stacked across the living room. Diluc was gone, she said. The manor was sold, she said. And no one saw the dear descendant of the Ragvindir family for the next four years.

 

Diluc’s absence reverbrated through Mondstat as a hollow echo, Father– Crepus ’s death causing ripples of mourning across the city. It appeared as if Celestia itself mourned his passing, as the skies rained for days on end. Kaeya is not a religious man, yet even he kneeled at the feet of Barbatos’s statue, praying for his father’s peaceful passage to the afterlife, for Diluc’s safety wherever he may be, and for the absolute hollowness within him to please , just go away.

 

Kaeya returned to work a week after. He had to pay for the new apartment he had rented at the very heart of Mondstat somehow, after all, didn’t he? Dawn Winery had been left at the command of Elzer in Diluc’s absence, and all seemed to return to normal. It had to, after all. As long as the winds blew, as long as freedom remained, as long as the fields of Mondstat remained green, all had to continue. All continued, then, and so did Kaeya. He moved on… probably. He hopes he moved on, at least. He hopes that the hollowness in his chest, the aching which never seems to leave, the tiredness embedded into his limbs, will at some point leave, too. He had not gotten a proper night’s rest since the moment of Father’s death, and it seemed things would remain this way for the foreseeable future. Thus, he would pretend. ‘Fake it ‘til you make it’, and all. Pretend he was okay, give a smile of gratitude at anyone giving their condolences, pretend everything was alright, and hope, pray , that someday, things truly would be alright.

 

It took a month until the vacant position of  ‘Cavalry Captain’ within the knights was truly starting to take a toll. The position previously taken by the youngest captain the knights had seem appeared to echo the tragedies which happened, seeking a new member to pick up the mantle in Diluc’s place. So when Kaeya was asked oh-so gently by Jean of all people to become the new Cavalry Capitain, how could he refuse? Sure, even if Kaeya was barely even seventeen, even if he was still hurting, still mourning, ignoring the way gauntness haunted his expression when he looked at himself in the mirror, he could not deny the position. It’s what father would’ve wanted. It’s what he had worked towards all his life, was it not? Truly, he could not deny.

 

His inauguration was the very next day. Kaeya smiled, waved, cheered on with all the Knights as a new position was handed down, and gladly took on the badge so hastily thrown to the side by Diluc all those weeks ago. The mantle now lay upon Kaeya, and… he felt nothing. It was just a title, at hte end of the day, was it not? One which Diluc had worn so elegantly, so devotedly. He had been the young capitain of Mondstat, beloved by all. How could Kaeya dream of ever living up to that? Living up to the position which Diluc had held, when he could not even call himself his brother?

 

That night, Kaeya sat alone within the headquarters of Ordo Favonius. His hands were folded over a large, oak desk, bookcases stood to either side of him. All of this… this position, title, books, room, desk, carpet, space , all of it was… Diluc’s. And in that moment, Kaeya realized. He would have to live up to Diluc’s title. This was how he’d make it all up to him. This... this is how he’d prove himself to his brother, who had disowned Kaeya in disgrace, disspapeared to Celestia-knows where in the dead of night. 

 

Moonlight streamed down across the room in shadowy shapes, clouding Kaeya’s eyes… ah– eye , now. He had not left Diluc’s attack unharmed, after all. The damned eyepatch which now adorned him twenty-four-seven served as a cursed reminder of that which had occurred, hiding behind it horrid scars of deformed skin, burn scars too deep to heal, mirrored similarly across his chest, his back, all of which hid away under layers of clothing. Diluc… where is he right now? How did he expect Kaeya , quiet, always quiet, always a step behind Diluc, to be the one to remain here… to be the one to take up the mantle of Cavalry Capitan, one of the many second in commands to Master Varka… how could he ever hope to live up to Diluc, to honour the title he had left behind, to make his own legacy?

 

…He couldn’t. Kaeya would never live up to Diluc, would never amount to anything. He was a traitor, was he not? A citizen of lawless lands, abandoned by the gods? Was he meant for this, created for failure? Destined to fail, over, over, over, and over? 

 

A deep sigh escapes Kaeya’s lips as the thoughts flood into his mind. The cold wooden surface penetrates the migraine forming across his forehead, as his eyes flutter shut against his will. He… he’d prove them wrong. Everyone. Even if he is destined to live a traitorous life, disgraced by all… he would prove Celestia wrong. Even if the hollowness within his chest never faded, even if Diluc never met his eyes again, even if he would be hated by all sides in secret… Kaeya would stand tall against it all. Would stand tall against Celestia, would take up the position of Cavalry Capitain of Mondstat with grace, with an ever-permanent smirk over his expression. 

 

Kaeya Ragvindir, in this very moment, dissipated into darkness forever. From the shadow of the young boy, trailing behind his brother, quiet, curious eyes lingering over artisan’s works, skillful hands and soft smile, eternally hard-working, would emerge a new figure. One built from facades, from an elegant ballad of silver-tounges and sharpened words, of flirtatious smirks and orchestrated winks. The whole world was his stage, as Kaeya Alberich was born: a man of deceit, of indescernable lies and controlled aloofness, an air of over-grandiose confidence masking true intents to extract as much information as is possible, to cover his own past, to live up to his position, and thus become Ordo Favonius’s most prominent Cavalry Capitain, one who’s position was but a cover for his true mission. A spy: one who is unmatched in every aspect, uncovering information hidden from every else, extracting data from his targets with grace and efficiency; seducing, threatening, a dangerous mix of manipulation and honey-stained words, a strength he would learn to abuse to the very maximum over the course of his career.

 

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Master Varka left last morning. He had taken the horses with him, gentle creatures whom… Kaeya had grown quite attached to in the little under a year he had taken the position of Cavalry Capitain for. It… it was okay, though. They were taken for a mission, a proper expedition which required many years of work, one which would prove to be quite arduous over time. The stables remained empty, now, abandoned as the herd which had once occupied it exited the gates with more than half of their knights in tow. With the position of Grand Master now void, Jean was elected unanimously by vote to take up temporary residence of the position. Jean, so hard working, talented, ever-ready to take up any challenge… truly, they could not have found a better candidate. The celebration was brief, between the few knights remaining, as per Jean’s request. Yet through it all, a certain… emptiness emanated. The absence of many knights who had been considered family, of Mika, of Master Varka, of… Diluc .

 

Kaeya sucked in a deep breath as the though echoed in his head. Diluc . He had been gone for around a year now, had he not? Was… he okay? Would he be alright…? Would he ever return?

 

Quiet music echoed dully through his ears. His eyes remained blank even as he gave a smile and a wave towards an approaching knight. He swirled the barely touched glass of alcohol within his glass. Kaeya had never really enjoyed drinking. But, perhaps…

 

He sighs to himself, taking in the scene around him. Balloons of many tones representing the crest of Ordo Favonius hung around, a small table with several alcoholic drinks was pushed off to the side. Another table holding food remained around the middle. People formed into small groups around the room, talking to each other, congratulating Jean. He.. should talk to her. Kaeya… hadn’t dared approach Jean in quite a while, to be honest, their relationship strained with Diluc’s absence after Fath– Master Crepus’s death.

 

Kaeya’s eyes linger on the dark-ish liquor in his glass. His hand moves before his mind even registers the action, downing the entire glass in a couple of seconds. A grimace creeps its way onto his expression, the bitter taste of wine was never truly to his taste, as ironic as that may be.

Notes:

This will be the last update on this fic for the foreseeable future. I lost interest in genshin about a year ago, but just found this unfinished chapter in my drafts, and thought I might as well publish it :/ the chapter isn't closed or wrapped up, it just kinda cuts off where I stopped writing, but I just thought, oh well, something's something, and I have too many things written that I never published.

I don't honestly remember the context of this or anything, but I hope it makes sense :)

Notes:

Updates weekly, hopefully. If not weekly, then as soon as I'm able to update.