Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“We like to drink with Charlie, ‘cause Charlie is our mate! And when we drink with Charlie, he gets it down in eight, seven, six-”

Charlie slammed his empty pint glass down on their coffee table. There was a shocked silence, interrupted only by Max’s low whistle.

“Fucking hell Charlie, you’ve come a long way since last freshers,” Chelsea laughed, tipping her own glass up to her lips.

Charlie shrugged nonchalantly, wiping his mouth. “I’m not sure it’s something I should be proud of.”

“Still,” Otis chimed in, “you could definitely drink Nick under the table now.”

“Low blow, insulting a man who isn’t here to defend himself,” Sai commented, shaking his head. Chelsea sniggered from her place next to him on the sofa.

Charlie laughed as he sat back and surveyed the group of people currently sitting in their front room. They were all round his and Chelsea’s for a night of pre-drinking: Otis, Christian, Sai, Max, Chelsea and Charlie. Nick and Imogen were working as overflow staff, but had promised to join their night out as soon as they could. Dylan and Abby were closing the SU bar, so they were hoping they’d make it to the Parrot in time for a round of shots and a dance with Ash when they finished work too.

He grinned as he adjusted the sleeveless tank top he was currently drowning in. Nick had worn it exactly one year ago during army night in freshers, when Charlie had still been pretending his existence incensed him even though he’d never seen a finer specimen of a man in his entire life. He could still remember how attractive Nick had looked in it, all muscles and freckles and a stray nipple every now and then. That was the first night they’d talked properly, the first time he’d introduced himself. The first time Nick had made him laugh. The first time Charlie had felt anything other than disdain for a man.

And now I love him. Life is fucking strange.

Nick had chucked the tank top at him yesterday after listening to him panic for twenty minutes about the fact that he didn’t have anything to wear other than a black mesh vest that he normally only reserved for extremely queer nights at the gay scene. Nick’s housemates were lovely and top tier allies, but even Charlie had a feeling they wouldn’t know where to look if he answered the door with his areolas proudly on display.

So here he was, wearing Nick’s clothes. His boyfriend’s clothes. The pair of them were officially insufferable and they both knew it. Charlie also didn’t care, which surprised everyone around him almost as much as it surprised himself. It turned out he wanted to be that couple, the one that everyone simultaneously rolled their eyes at and fiercely envied. He liked being sappy and romantic and endlessly horny. He couldn’t wait for Nick’s knees to buckle as soon as he caught sight of him in this outfit, smeared with paint and looking decidedly more smoking hot than he did a year ago, when he mostly ugly cried on Nick and then insulted him. How far he’d come since then. Still, he knew he had a lot of making up to do.

It was rapidly approaching 10pm so they wrapped up their game and headed out to the SU for a final hour of drinking before hitting the town. It was another one of those nights when the cold air bit at fingers and noses but everywhere inside was sweaty and humid from the sheer amount of bodies. The atmosphere was buzzing again, a mixture of all the year groups spilling out into the streets dressed in an array of different army-patterned outfits.

He watched as the boys walked ahead with their cans of beer, shoving and swearing at each other affectionately, and felt a rush of warmth at the knowledge that everything had worked out in the end. Imogen and the boys had welcomed him back with open arms despite having plenty of reasons to doubt his intentions with Nick, something he would always be grateful for. He felt loved and accepted in this weird group of mismatched personalities and still couldn’t quite believe he now called rugby boys his mates. Turns out great things happen when you stop looking for the worst in everyone.

As soon as they entered the SU Charlie was glad they’d done most of their drinking already. The place was packed. There were drinking games going on at nearly every table and the air was filled with chants from every sports team as they hammered their fists on the tables and tried to outdo each other. Charlie tuned them all out. His stomach was bubbling with anticipation and excitement.

Max was meeting some friends and catching up with their group later at the Parrot so he waved his goodbyes and dissolved into the sea of people, shooting Charlie one last don’t do anything I wouldn’t do look as he left. Through the crowds, Charlie sought with eager eyes the one person he wanted to see more than anyone else, searching as he always did for floppy hair and freckled arms. He found him entertaining the freshers, setting up what looked like a jager-train that spanned the full length of the bar top. Each shot glass was balanced precariously atop the edges of the tumblers underneath and he and Imogen were filling them all up, hyping up the crowd as they went.

“Fuck, we’re missing it!” Christian whined, abandoning their group to try to push his way to the front. Otis was quick to follow him, Chelsea grabbing Sai’s hand and dragging him into the crowd as well. Charlie trailed at the back, his taste for jagerbombs now well and truly non-existent after getting so drunk on them last year he texted his arsehole ex-boyfriend.

Nope, none of that devil juice for me, thank you very much.

“D’you want to do the honours?” Imogen asked, her perfectly plucked eyebrow raised in Nick’s direction once she’d poured out all the shots.

Nick shrugged, his face flushed and happy. He looked like he was totally in his element and it did weird things to Charlie’s heart, twisting it all up and tugging on the corners of his smile.

“Go on then.” He faced the row of freshers in front of him. “Drum roll please!”

Everyone at the front of the queue started rapping their fingers on the bar, the noise rumbling through the room and vibrating in Charlie’s eardrums. He could hear the beginnings of a whooping noise coming from the crowd as they anticipated the flick of Nick’s wrist. He reached out and lightly tapped the shot glass.It swiftly fell, knocking the one next to it and starting a domino effect. There was a collective sound of encouragement that rippled through the bar like a mexican wave as each glass fell perfectly into the one below, and then everyone erupted triumphantly when the last one splashed into its rightful place, ending the train. Nick and Imogen did a mini fist bump at a job well done.

“Drink up!” Imogen shouted over the din, wiping her hands on her cloth as everyone downed their drinks and then moved away, making room for the next in the queue. The usual chatter resumed as service returned to normal and Dylan and Abby started making drinks again. Charlie tried to catch Nick’s eye but he was now drowning in new customers, girls pressing in from all sides with constellations in their eyes as they stared at him and tried to get his attention. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, knowing exactly how Nick felt about being accosted at work. Unless Charlie was the one doing the accosting, of course.

“Charlie boy, what are you drinking?” Chelsea called over her shoulder. Amazingly, Sai had managed to push his way to the front in record time and was getting a round in, the legend that he was. Charlie was secretly massively shipping him with his uni best friend, and seriously hoped that whatever this thing was between them would blossom into something long term. Chelsea now no longer whined constantly about not getting laid enough either, which was a huge bonus.

“Vodka lemonade please!” he shouted back, smiling his thanks and hanging back to wait for Chelsea to pass his drink over.

“Fuck me, the bar staff here are illegally hot,” a pretty redhead to Charlie’s left announced as she fanned herself with her hand. He followed her line of sight and found, predictably, that she was eye-fucking his boyfriend. In a fit of insanity someone seemed to have ordered one of the three god awful cocktails on the SU bar menu, so Nick had a boston shaker in one hand and was unintentionally giving the whole room a show as he shook it above his shoulder with minimal effort. His outfit was also leaving nothing to the imagination. Even Charlie had to admit he looked positively edible in his tight khaki vest and sweatpants, black and green paint smeared over his arms and chest.

Charlie bit his lip, feeling a twitch in his own jeans as he ogled his boyfriend along with several others. It was in moments like these that he had to pinch himself - how the fuck did he end up with this Adonis of a man? This insanely fit person who had absolutely no idea how desirable he was, or how many flutters he caused, both of the upstairs and downstairs variety, literally every single day behind that bar?

“Daddy Muscles over there is giving me heart palpitations,” the only boy in their group chimed in, placing his black fingernails over the mesh covering his chest. “He could crush my head between his thighs and I’d thank him for it.” The others cackled in the way that only a gaggle of horny girls could do.

“His name’s Nick Nelson,” one of the other girls said, smirking as she leaned further into their huddle. Charlie wasn’t sure why. Everyone within a two metre radius could hear them. “My sister was a third year when he was a fresher. He’s a very good fuck, apparently. A giver.”

Charlie felt his stomach lurch slightly as he glared at them. Seriously?

“Ugh, jealous,” the redhead sighed wistfully, her fingers at her scalp as she attempted to give her hair some volume. “I’d seriously take whatever he’d be willing to give to me.”

“Shoot your shot then,” the boy said, one eyebrow raised. “I dare you.”

“Yeah, go on, find out if he’s into gingers,” another girl giggled.

“Fuck off! Maybe I will!”

Charlie surreptitiously rubbed his temple with one finger, his good mood starting to wane. He could feel that shadow passing over the edges of his brain for the first time in a while, barely there but still present.

Maybe she should shoot her shot. Maybe Nick would enjoy a bit of attention from-

He nipped that thought in the bud immediately, giving his brain a gentle shove and counting in his head until the initial shock of hearing someone else talk about his boyfriend that way wore off. He didn’t think of that quiet, damaging voice as belonging to Ben anymore. It was his voice, his insecurities, so he tried not to punish himself whenever it crept in. It was okay to feel these things as long as he closed his eyes and gave logic a second to show up. He breathed in deeply and then back out again, imagining all the individual letters that made up the toxic words in his head tumbling out of his body as he expelled his breath.

No. Don’t think like that. You’re okay. Everything is okay.

His heart beat slowly and solidly as he finished counting and the cloud of negativity lifted from his brain, the reality of the situation sharpening into focus. When he looked over again he was shocked to find Nick already gazing at him, a stupidly lovesick expression on his face. Charlie felt a little bubble of giddiness pop inside his stomach, his gut tingling pleasantly as he smiled. He could see the way Nick’s gaze dropped slightly and knew he was admiring his dimples. He smiled even wider, knowing he was causing the current rearrangement of Nick’s internal organs. His dimples were his secret weapon; he knew he could reduce Nick to a puddle every time he whipped them out.

That group was still talking openly about how much they all wanted to have sex with his boyfriend, but after giving himself a minute to get a hold of his emotions Charlie felt himself relax. Logically, Nick was desirable and they weren’t wrong. He himself had thirsted over the guy for most of last year. How could he possibly blame them for having eyes?

Plus, he was a giver. That part was true. And Charlie got to be on the receiving end for the foreseeable future, of everything Nick wanted to give him. The tiny little voice sputtered and went silent, replaced by a much stronger one.

God, high five to me for snagging myself such a scorching hot man.

“He’s got a boyfriend,” someone to Charlie’s right said, their voice sharper than all the others. Startled, everyone including Charlie turned to look at the owner, a girl with dark hair, thick-framed glasses and a smattering of freckles across her nose. Charlie instantly recognised her as the girl he’d been insanely jealous of for no reason last year.

“Oh, I…” the redhead trailed off, blushing. “I didn’t know he was gay…”

“He’s bi, actually,” the girl replied. “And taken, so maybe shoot your shot with someone else.” She flicked her hair over her shoulder and her eyes met Charlie’s. He had no idea if she knew he was the boyfriend they were discussing, if Nick or someone else had told her or if she’d just found out through the uni gossip grapevine, but then her red lips curved upwards knowingly and it became clear. It was a strange feeling to know now what he didn’t know then as he cautiously returned her smile. He was always so quick to jump to conclusions, not just about Nick but about everyone else too. Back then she herself was just shooting her shot with the rugby king and that was fair enough. Honestly, who wouldn’t?

Nick didn’t choose to be with her though, or anyone else. He chose Charlie. He wanted to be with Charlie. And Charlie was learning a little bit more every day about just how happy he made Nick, and how little he noticed of anyone or anything else when he was around. Every time he caught Nick looking at him the way he was now it chipped away at what was left of his insecurities, filling him up with so much of Nick’s unconditional love that there was no room for anything else.

“Nick’s taken but I’m not,” Dylan announced as he materialised and shot the group a dazzlingly flirty smile. Charlie suppressed a snort.

Wow, for his sake I’m glad he wasn’t here last year. I’d have ripped him a new arsehole.

People were always going to hit on Nick because he was popular, sporty and nice to look at, not to mention also possessing a killer personality. And that was okay, actually. Charlie would survive that, because for every day he spent working on himself, Nick put in an equal amount of effort to make him feel secure and loved. They both put the work in because it was worth it. It would always, always be worth it.

Nick and Imogen finished work not long after they all arrived, finding them at the jenga table. Charlie had been hanging back, happy to spectate, and noticed his boyfriend making his way through the crowd immediately. Not that he’d been counting down the seconds until he could get his hands on him or anything.

Nope, that doesn’t sound like me at all.

He could feel how fast his heart was beating as he turned towards him, admiring the way his cheeks shone pink under the lights. Nick beamed at him, a teasing undercurrent to his gaze that made it clear he was about to take the piss out of him for being such a melt, and Charlie felt his heart swell to capacity. This man made him so fucking happy.

“Hi,” Charlie greeted from around his straw as he batted his eyelashes. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Hi.” Nick replied breathlessly, advancing far enough into Charlie’s personal space to cause more heart failure. There was a playful glint in his eye as his hand hovered at Charlie’s side. “You’ve got a little bit of something, just-” he murmured, his voice low near his ear as he stroked his fingers over the bare skin peeking through the low sleeves of his tank top.

Oh my god, is he pulling a fucking foam party on me?!

Charlie smacked him lightly on the solid muscles of his chest, a delighted laugh bursting out of him. “Fuck off.” He rolled his eyes affectionately to hide the fact that Nick had just as much of an effect on him now as he always had. “You’re such a wanker, Nelson.”

Nick bit down on his lip to stop the mischievous smile from taking over his whole face as he leaned in close. He didn’t draw his hand back this time. Instead, Charlie felt both of them wrap around his waist under the fabric of his top. “I seem to remember this reducing you to a quivering mess last time.”

“Yeah, well…” Charlie reached up and placed his arms around Nick’s neck, his fingers playing with the hair on the back of his head. “Times have changed, I’m a new man these days.”

“Is that so?” Nick asked, raising an eyebrow. His fingers danced along Charlie’s waistband, tickling the skin lightly where no one could see.

Charlie felt his breath hitch, ever so slightly. “I see what you’re doing.”

Nick gave him a butter-wouldn’t-melt expression. “What?”

“You’re trying to seduce me.”

“Trying? More like succeeding.”

Charlie’s eyeballs disappeared into the back of his head again. “Whatever, you’re not even-”

He should’ve known he wouldn’t get to finish his sentence. His lungs stopped working as soon as Nick leaned forward and pressed his lips to his own, in the middle of his place of work where anyone and everyone could see. The music faded to white noise and everyone around them blurred into nothingness as Charlie stood up on his toes and fell into the kiss, letting Nick wrap him up in his arms and sweep him off his feet. He could seriously get used to this side of Nick.

“You’re all about the PDA these days,” Charlie laughed breathlessly once they’d stopped snogging in front of everyone. “Anyone would think you fancied me or something.”

Nick pushed a curl behind his ear. “Just showing you off.”

Charlie didn’t know why, but something about the atmosphere, the way Nick was looking at him and the ridiculously sexy outfit he was wearing was making him jittery, eager for something. Something to scratch the itch. He was reminded of last year when things had been so tense between the two of them as they pined for each other from afar, their hormones and their desire tangling together as they sniped and glared and fruitlessly put off the inevitable. As Charlie ran his fingers over his boyfriend’s toned arms and mirrored his teasing expression, he could think of nothing he wanted more than to be picked up and slammed against a wall again. It had been so long since he’d been ravaged, had his hair pulled, been taught a lesson like the first time he and Nick slept together. He wanted that again, only this time he wanted to know the person throwing him around the bedroom was his loving, committed boyfriend. He wanted to give himself over to Nick completely, free of the insecurities he had back then when he wasn’t sure how he felt.

Of course, he also wanted them to fight tooth and nail for control first. Even if he fully intended to let Nick win.

He dug his fingers into Nick’s neck and tugged him down to his level, his mouth finding his ear. “What would you say if I told you I want you to take me home and make me beg you to fuck me?”

The grip on his waist instantly tightened as Nick sucked in a surprised breath, almost choking on air. He pulled back, his eyes the widest Charlie had ever seen them. “Uh, I - I would say…what’s brought this on?” he shook his head, his eyes glazed over with lust. “But also yes. I want that. Fuck, I want that. I mean - I bloody love you, did you know that?”

Despite it being the hundredth time Nick had said that to him, it still made him blush. “You can’t dress like that and expect me to not want those arms everywhere. You can show me how much you love me by manhandling me into your bed. Or your desk. Or your shower, you choose.”

“Jesus Christ Charlie,” Nick half-sighed, half-moaned against his skin. “You’re making me really want to sack off this night out.”

Charlie smirked as he took a step back, his hands falling back to his sides. Okay, let’s give the poor boy a breather before he combusts. “Well…we could sack it off,” he shrugged, smirking, before faking a yawn. “I suddenly feel really tired.”

Nick pulled his lips to the side, trying not to laugh. “Do you now? How convenient.”

“I need to be put to bed, I think.” Charlie raised his eyebrows. “Wanna do the honours?”

“You never play fair, Char,” Nick pouted as he toyed with the hem of Charlie’s tank top. “You know what it does to me when you wear my clothes. I don’t know how I’m supposed to think about anything other than ripping them off you.”

It was silly, but it gave Charlie comfort to know that Nick was this crazy about him. Since their honest and open conversation he’d started voicing his thoughts out loud without any hesitation, and it turned out he was an even bigger, hornier sap than Charlie ever could’ve imagined. And he fucking loved it.

“So, pub first and then the Parrot for a dance?” Otis asked as he slung his arm around Sai’s shoulders. “Reckon Ash’ll give us some of those free vanilla shots again?”

“I’m pretty sure they now run in the opposite direction when they see you coming,” Chelsea commented, one eyebrow cocked in his direction.

Otis shrugged, grinning. “Their shots shouldn’t be so nice then.”

“Shall we head out?” Imogen asked, linking her arm through Christian’s. She looked adorable in army print dungaree shorts and space buns, little wispy bits of hair floating about her face. Charlie had to admit the girls had pulled out all the stops tonight. Chris and Sai were two very lucky lads.

“Yeah, let’s go before the bar calls last orders and the rush starts.”

Nick glanced at Charlie. Charlie stared back at Nick, his gaze fierce and demanding. There was no question about what he was trying to say with that look.

We are not going anywhere except back to your house so you can fuck my brains out, Nelson.

“Er,” Nick started, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck with the fingers not currently intertwined with Charlie’s. “Actually guys, we might take a raincheck on the night out.”

“What?!” Christian cried, throwing his hands up. “Why?”

Chelsea rolled her eyes incredulously. “Because they’re making up for lost time by shagging like rabbits, obviously.” She turned to Charlie, beaming. “Good for you babe. Go home and climb your tree of a boyfriend. You earned it.”

Charlie felt himself blush hot all over as Nick pulled him into his side, grinning. “Thanks Chels, I think I will.”

“God, you guys are the worst,” Otis whined as he put his empty glass on the table. “Seriously, when will this honeymoon period end?”

Sai put his hand on his shoulder. “Come on, let’s leave them to it. At least we won’t have to listen to it when we get home.”

Charlie kept his face neutral. Debatable.

Nick grabbed Charlie and lifted him off his feet as soon as they were over the threshold with the door shut behind them. They’d got an Uber back from the bar because they’d been so desperate to get their hands on each other by the time they’d finished their goodbyes that walking seemed like the most unfeasible idea in the world. Charlie moaned into Nick’s mouth as he was scooped effortlessly into paint-streaked arms and slammed into the wall in the hallway.

“Careful what you wish for, Spring,” Nick growled into his ear as he rocked his hips forward. “I’ve had you begging on your knees for me before and I can do it again.”

Charlie had to remind himself to focus and not plead for his boyfriend’s dick five seconds in. It was certainly tempting, especially when this side of him came out to play, but that wasn’t the plan. He grabbed a handful of Nick’s floppy fringe and pulled until he snapped his head back and looked him in the eyes.

“Do your worst, Nelson. I can make you beg too, you know.”

They stared each other out for a moment, the tension palpable between them, and then Nick placed him gingerly back on the floor.

“Fine,” he sighed, his eyes twinkling. “Race ya.”

Charlie barely had a second to look confused before Nick took off in the direction of the stairs. “Oi!” he shouted as he chased him, a laugh tearing out of his chest. “Cheater!”

“You can’t make me beg if you can’t catch me,” Nick yelled over his shoulder as he reached the first landing.

“Why is everything a competition to you?! This is not rugby!”

“What, you don’t wanna be tackled?” Nick panted as Charlie caught up with him at the door of his bedroom and launched himself back into his arms. “Roll around in the dirt with-”

Charlie cut him off with a rough kiss, pulling his hair hard enough to make him gasp. He needed Nick to stop talking now. This was cute and all, but he wanted the side of Nick only he got to see. The one with the talented hands and filthy mouth.

“Shut the fuck up,” he breathed in between kisses, feeling Nick’s grip on his arse tighten as he started to nibble his way down his neck, “and take me to bed.”

Nick let out a beautifully breathless laugh. “Or what?”

Oh, so it’s gonna be like that, is it?

He pulled back to glare at him, remembering how this had gone the first time they’d slept together. “Or I won’t let you fuck me.”

Nick leaned forward and took Charlie’s bottom lip between his teeth, tugging gently on it and smirking when Charlie sucked in a gasp. He released it slowly, a hungry expression on his face. “Oh, I think you will.”

Charlie could feel his insides starting to liquefy, but he didn’t let it show on his face. He needed to stay strong; if he only lasted this long before he crumbled he’d never live it down. He had to stay in the game just a little bit longer.

“Is that all you’ve got?” he asked, one eyebrow raised at his boyfriend. “Come on Nick, what good are those strong rugby arms if you’re not gonna use them?”

“God, you’re annoying,” Nick grunted as he practically threw Charlie onto his desk, books tumbling off it onto the floor. “I’m gonna fuck that out of you.”

Yes, yes, yes.

Charlie’s erection was already straining against his jeans, his eyes falling shut as Nick caged him in and latched onto his neck. He wrapped his legs around his boyfriend’s waist and let him lick and nibble a line up the column of his throat, relishing the way Nick hummed and groaned against his skin. They were grinding their hips into each other, both trying to get the other to crumble.

“Nick, I - oh fuck-” Charlie broke off when Nick’s tongue made it’s way up to his earlobe and he took it into his mouth, sucking gently on it and scraping his teeth lightly over the sensitive skin. “I…” his voice box suddenly felt like it was made of jelly. “I w-want…”

“I want you to get on your knees,” Nick interrupted, sending tingles all through Charlie’s body. “You can decide what you want while you’re sucking me off.”

Charlie shivered, feeling hot, sticky lust start to pool in the bottom of his stomach. Nick knew he loved being put in his place like this; it sent him into a horny spiral of the best kind.

But he needed to stay in control just a little bit longer. He snapped his eyes open and shoved Nick away from him, sliding off the edge of the desk and grasping a handful of his vest top.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he growled, helping Nick to take it off. As soon as it was lying on the floor in the corner Nick was tugging him free of his tank top too, his hands reaching for any part of his bare skin as soon as he could. Nuh uh, not happening Nelson. Charlie pushed him until his knees hit the back of the bed and he collapsed on it, making quick work of his own jeans before kneeling on the floor in front of him and pulling off his sweatpants. Nick gazed down at him in a stupor as he yanked his boxers off impatiently and wrapped his hand around Nick’s rock hard cock.

Nick hissed and closed his eyes as soon as Charlie’s skin touched his, but before he had a chance to even say how good it felt Charlie had licked a stripe up the underside of his shaft and wrapped his lips around the head of his dick. Nick bucked his hips and moaned, his fingers tangling in Charlie’s curls.

“Fuck, Char…sometimes it feels like you were made to suck my cock.”

Charlie resisted the urge to roll his eyes, knowing this was Nick’s weirdly sappy dirty talk making an appearance. Bless him. He was so fucking cute.

He took all of Nick into the back of his throat, enjoying the high pitched noise he coaxed out of him in the process, and then sucked him slowly, using his tongue to pull more delicious sounds out of him. Nick’s chest heaved as he dug his fingers into Charlie’s scalp. Maybe he had the strongest arms but Charlie still knew how to make him weak.

When he was satisfied with his work he let Nick’s cock slip out of his mouth and got to his feet, grabbing his boyfriend’s chin with one hand and using his other to shimmy out of his boxers.

“Your turn.”

The cloudiness in Nick’s eyes sharpened into focus as he returned to reality. “No. I have a better idea.”

Charlie glowered at him. The nerve of this boy. “I don’t fucking think so Nick, you-”

Before he could finish his sentence he was swept off his feet and deposited on the duvet as Nick climbed on top of him. He used one hand to pin him to the bed and kissed his way across his chest, laving his tongue over Charlie’s nipple until he was gasping. “Such a demanding little dickhead, Spring. Maybe I should’ve gone out after all.”

Charlie squirmed under his touch, unable to move. Nick’s lips and tongue were tickling him in the best way. “Oh please, you practically came in your pants when I suggested sacking it - oh fuck-” Charlie broke off with a moan when Nick nipped him with his teeth just as he ground his hips down against Charlie’s.

“So chatty,” Nick growled as he sat back and admired the flush on Charlie’s chest. “I think I’ll fuck that out of you too.”

God, yes fucking please, Nelson.

Charlie grabbed his face and kissed him, catching him off guard so he could flip them over. He’d decided he was going to put up about one minute more of a fight and then give up, letting his boyfriend feel like he’d won when in actual fact Charlie very much knew that he was going to get the best prize.

“Fuck,” Nick swore as Charlie straddled him and attacked his neck, sucking a bruise into the dip in his collarbone. “Char.” He loved the way Nick said his name. It sounded incredible at any volume, in any tone. No one else made it sound like a prayer, a poem and a promise all rolled into one.

“That sounded awfully beggy,” Charlie teased as he ran his hands over Nick’s arms and then up into his hair. “You ready to admit defeat yet, sweetheart?”

Nick didn’t say anything, he just sat up with an irritated grunt and wrapped his arms around Charlie’s waist, overpowering him once more and rolling them over so he was on top. A little jolt of excitement shot through Charlie’s body as Nick roughly turned him over so he was lying on his stomach, his cock pressed into the bed. Everything seemed to slow down suddenly, nothing but the sounds of their panting filling the room as they caught their breath, Nick’s fingers splayed in the middle of Charlie’s back.

“That’s enough Char. I’m in charge now.”

Those simple words had him moaning desperately and leaking onto the bed. He was so eager for his boyfriend’s mouth, hands, fingers, cock. Nick’s touch lit him up, flames licking at his insides, filling him with fire and electricity.

He would let Nick win this fight every time. Every. Fucking. Time.

“Your arse is so fucking perfect,” Nick growled as he tugged him up onto his knees, and Charlie let out a breathless yelp when he dug his fingers into his skin and squeezed. “It’s driving me fucking crazy, fuck. I just want to…” he trailed off, his thumbs pressing into Charlie’s thighs. “Char. Can - can I taste you?”

Charlie positively shivered at his words, the temperature in the room increasing tenfold. Oh, holy fuck, did he just say he wanted to-

“No one has ever done that to me before,” Charlie gasped, his arms shaking with the effort of holding himself up as his boyfriend reduced him to a puddle of horny soup.

Suddenly Nick was pulling Charlie up by the arms so his back was flush against his chest, his hot mouth against the shell of his ear. “Do you want me to be the first?” he asked, teasing the skin of his earlobe with his tongue before biting down on it gently. Every bone in Charlie’s body continued to melt into jellified mush.

“N-Nick, I - oh fuck-”

Jesus fucking Christ on a bike-

“I’ll only do it if you want me to,” Nick said softly, sliding his hand around Charlie’s waist and smoothing his fingers over his stomach. His teeth scraped gently over the soft skin behind Charlie’s ear and it sent a zing straight to his dick. The sudden change in tempo and the way Nick’s voice had softened was doing things to him he never would’ve expected.

“No - yes, I…I want you to. I just - Nick, Jesus, you’re so hot I can’t fucking handle it.”

Nick chuckled deliciously into his ear. “On your elbows then.”

Fuck me sideways-

It was all Charlie could do not to collapse in a quivering heap as soon as Nick let go of him. He caught himself before he did something embarrassing, drawing his bottom lip into his mouth as he settled on his elbows and knees. Nick was stroking one hand down the length of his spine, the pads of his fingers drawing goosebumps out of Charlie’s hyper-sensitive skin. Then Charlie felt lips against the dip of his lower back and sucked in a mortifyingly loud breath, his mouth moving of its own accord.

“Nick…”

God, if this is your reaction to a bit of back action, what the fuck are you gonna do when Nick’s mouth is on your arsehole?

Nick responded to his breathy admission by sliding his hands over his legs, his thumbs tickling the inside of his trembling thighs. “Relax, baby.”

Charlie’s heart stuttered involuntarily at the pet name and he moaned, his head dropping between his shoulder blades. He had never before in his life enjoyed being called baby until it tumbled so sexily out of Nick Nelson’s mouth. This man was slowly killing him.

“Please just fucking touch me, Nick. You’re ruining me right now.”

Nick’s laugh skimmed over his arse cheeks, making him tense and shudder. “But ruining you is so fun.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you love me.”

Charlie huffed, hiding his smile in his shoulder. “I really don’t, now stop being such a soppy git and eat me out already.”

“Jeez. Bossy.” Apparently this was their thing now, ordering each other about in needy desperation. Charlie would be lying if he said he didn’t fucking love every second of it.

Nick let out a barely contained moan of approval as he pulled his cheeks apart and exposed him to the cool air. “Even your arsehole is pretty,” he sighed, and before Charlie could respond, or even roll his eyes, Nick’s tongue was on him and he was jerking forward and letting out what sounded like a cross between a guttural moan and a surprised squeak.

“Fu-uck!” Charlie dropped his face into the pillow, muffling whatever noises his mouth had decided to make without his permission as Nick laved his tongue over his perineum and up to the sensitive ring of muscle around his hole, coating it in his saliva. “Ugh, Niiick-”

He tapered off into another mortifyingly wanton cry when Nick started to lick his way around his rim, his vice grip on Charlie’s thighs ensuring he stayed still and felt the full effect of his swirling and jabbing tongue. Nick seemed to be enjoying it almost as much as Charlie, moaning loudly against him and digging his fingers into his flesh, the vibrations from his mouth coupled with the filthy, wet sounds he was making sending little electric shocks through Charlie’s body. He arched his back and gave into the sensation completely, uttering his boyfriend’s name needily as he was completely taken apart.

Nick made a reluctant little noise in the back of his throat as he pulled away. “God, you’re beautiful.”

Charlie wasn’t sure if Nick meant in general or if he was just complimenting the beauty of his arsehole, but either way he blushed profusely. “You’re so good at that,” he gasped as the rough pad of Nick’s thumb grazed over where his mouth had just been. “I want more.”

“I think there’s a word missing there,” Nick replied cheekily as he cocked an eyebrow, sucking his thumb into his mouth, coating it with saliva and then pressing it up against him again until he was shaking and panting with the effort of holding himself together.

“Please, p-please,” Charlie shot back almost immediately, giving into his desires. “Please give me more.”

Nick smiled. “Could you pass me the lube then, and I’ll finger you at the same time?”

Through a haze of desire, Charlie managed to grab the bottle and throw it haphazardly over his shoulder. He had no idea Nick was so well versed in the act of licking someone’s arsehole. Why the fuck had Nick never mentioned or suggested it? Their sex had always been good, but this would have sent Charlie into the next dimension.

Then again, would he have let him do this in the beginning, when he wasn’t even comfortable with Nick seeing him with his top off? Probably not. In fact, it was pretty fucking amazing that they were here right now, freely enjoying each other’s bodies without any of the usual hang ups. The thought filled Charlie with a comforting warmth that quickly turned searing hot when Nick started to push a slicked finger into him.

Charlie shuddered out a moan, throwing his head back as Nick licked and sucked at the sensitive area around his finger. He was lapping at Charlie like he was the most delicious thing he’d ever tasted, making the most incredible little happy noises that were sending Charlie over the edge.

“Nick,” Charlie exhaled shakily, gripping the pillow. He was suddenly overcome with emotion, his sappy side reminding him that this was his life now. Nick was his boyfriend. Charlie got to hug him and fuck him and make him laugh and feel his tongue and fingers inside him as he praised him and called him baby. He couldn’t quite believe he’d ended up with everything he’d ever wanted. All these years he’d wondered if real love even existed, assuming it would fall into his lap and he would recognise it for exactly what it was from day one. It turned out love didn’t always happen like that. Sometimes it crept up on you, bit by bit, through arguments and eye rolls and dances and nights tangled up on the sofa with a terrible kung fu movie playing in the background. Sometimes the universe threw a hot rugby captain your way so he could make you an Old Fashioned and listen to you vent about your ex, and the rest would turn out to be history. Sometimes it caught you off guard, hitting you like a ton of bricks while your boyfriend’s face was between your arse cheeks. Turns out life had a funny sense of humour like that.

“Fuck, Nick…I love you so much.”

Nick laughed, sending another little jolt up Charlie’s spine. “Wow, what a time to tell me you love me.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Charlie rasped, pressing back into Nick’s fingers when he added another one. “Let me be - oh - a sap.”

Nick’s lips trailed up his back to his shoulder blades, where they placed soft kisses on his hot skin. “I love you too Char. I love that we get to do this.” He crooked his fingers and Charlie cried out, leaking onto the bed. Oops. Well, it’s Nick’s fault for being such a giver.

“God, I - I need you to fuck me.”

Nick didn’t reply, he just added a third finger and attacked Charlie’s prostate again, making his hips twitch and shudder. Charlie was keening and gasping by the time he let up.

“You asked me to make you beg,” Nick said, his voice gruff and low, the roughness of it kindling a fire in Charlie’s belly. “I don’t hear nearly enough begging, Charlie.”

Urgh, I really can’t stand this beautiful fucking prick I call my boyfriend.

“Please, I want you inside me so badly, please let me have you,” Charlie moaned, putting his best whiny voice on. It was different to the last time they’d done this, when he’d been furious about giving Nick the upper hand. Now he craved this feeling of completely giving up control and letting himself slip into the bliss that came with handing the reins to Nick.

“More,” Nick grunted, moving his fingers at a punishing pace as Charlie cried out, his legs almost giving in as he rocked forward with the force of it.

“Fuck, Nick, I won’t - I’ll come if you don’t stop.”

“Beg, Charlie.”

Nick had never spoken to him like this before, and it made all of the hairs on his arms stand on end as he started to come apart at the seams. Nick really wasn’t fucking around tonight. He was giving Charlie everything he’d asked for and more, truly outdoing himself, as he dropped down and started to use his tongue on him again.

“Please! Please,” Charlie sobbed, his dick throbbing between his legs. “I’ll be good, just…I don’t want to come like this, please fuck me, Nick. I’ll do anything.”

With a satisfied little chuckle Nick pulled away, withdrawing his fingers and leaving Charlie feeling emptier than he’d ever felt before. He felt like every inch of his skin was searing hot and ready to burst into flames.

“You’re ready,” he murmured as he kissed a line up his back again. “Wait here for me, okay?”

Charlie shuddered and nodded, staying quiet. He’d done quite enough whining for one night.

When Nick joined him after a few minutes smelling of toothpaste and soap, Charlie reached for him instinctively and pulled him against his body as their mouths found each other again.

“How do you want me?” Nick asked softly in between kisses, a stark contrast to the rest of his foreplay. Charlie melted into him, gripping his biceps and feeling himself fall even more in love with him. Every decision he made seemed to be carefully thought out with Charlie in mind, and that was Nick in a nutshell really. Charlie was tempted to think of himself as lucky again, but then he reminded himself that Nick did this because he loved him too, because he chose him. Because Charlie was worthy of his love.

“Fuck me from behind,” Charlie whispered, his heart beating in his throat. “Take me apart Nick.”

Nick smiled and rubbed his nose over his cheek. “Okay, turn over then.”

With the air still trapped in his lungs, Charlie turned and pressed his back up against Nick’s chest as he fumbled with a condom. Briefly, Charlie thought about how incredible it would feel if they stopped using them one day. A little thrill shot through his body when he realised it wasn’t a case of if, it was when. This was it. He had his person now.

He tilted his head back into Nick’s shoulder and let out a low, satisfied groan as his boyfriend filled him. He could feel Nick’s shallow breaths against his ear and hear his quiet moan of pleasure once he bottomed out. Nick’s hand came up to rest on his chest, over his heart, and Charlie threaded their fingers together and held on tight as Nick pressed soft kisses to his neck.

“Nick,” Charlie uttered once they started to move, Nick’s arm securing him in place so he could fuck him slowly and deeply. “I - you’re so amazing. So good to me.”

“Because I love you, Charlie,” Nick whispered against his pulse point, squeezing his fingers. “I want to make you as happy as you make me.”

Charlie closed his eyes and let Nick consume him, the smell of his sweat and aftershave filling his nostrils and the sound of his sweet noises seeping into his ears and swirling around his foggy brain.

“Being with you is like a dream.”

Nick laughed breathlessly as his thrusts started to speed up, his mouth hot against the shell of Charlie’s ear. “I’ll still be here when you wake up, I promise.”

I’ll still be here. I promise. I want to make you happy.

The words wrapped around him like a thick wool blanket in the winter. He was safe, appreciated, adored. For the first time in his life he had no doubts at all about his relationship. Finally, he understood the appeal of completely giving yourself over to another person; he could suddenly see what everyone was always raving about.

“Fuck me harder, Nick,” he asked, pushing back into the thrusts impatiently now. “I need you.”

Nick obliged, moaning as he snapped his hips forward and Charlie clenched around him. The room was filled with the slapping sounds of their bodies as Nick started to unravel, his sounds becoming more desperate.

“God, look at you,” Nick groaned, pulling back to watch as his cock disappeared inside him. “You’re so fucking hot, Char.” His fingers dug into his waist and Charlie threw his head back, unleashing all the raw sounds he wanted to make.

“Nick, it - it feels so good. You feel so good.”

“So pretty and all fucking mine.”

“Yes, fuck, all yours…”

“Are you close?” Nick panted, pressing his open mouth against the top of Charlie’s spine. “I’m so close, should I slow down?”

Charlie shook his head, reaching for Nick’s hand and guiding it to his cock. “I’ll…fuck, I’ll come soon if you touch me.”

“I want us to come together,” Nick murmured as he started to stroke him in time with his thrusts, pressed up against him again. Charlie reached up and slid his hand into Nick’s soft hair, tilting his head back as far as it would go so his boyfriend could pepper his cheek with kisses as they both chased their orgasms.

“I love you,” he whispered into the dark, scratching gently at Nick’s scalp. “Nick, I love…oh fuck, Nick, just like that-”

“Char, I - I’m gonna come-”

“Keep going, don’t stop!”

He felt Nick press his face into the hair on the back of his head and moan into his curls, sending little vibrations into Charlie’s skull. Then, with a skilful twist of his wrist Charlie was arching his back and gasping.

“Nick, oh my god!”

Nick shuddered against his back as he came, his teeth sinking into Charlie’s shoulder. Charlie followed him, fisting his hand in his hair and pulling on it as he cried out and jerked his hips, spilling all over Nick’s fingers. His chest was heaving as he came down from a toe curling orgasm, breathing erratically into the pillow. By the time the mist in his head cleared Nick was kissing his sweat-sticky skin, murmuring all the words Charlie had always wanted to hear.

“That was amazing, Charlie. You’re amazing. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. You’re perfect. Perfect for me.”

I deserve this. I deserve a loving boyfriend. I deserve Nick.

Once Nick had pulled out and tied off the condom, throwing it in the bin near his bed along with the wipes he used to clean off his hands, Charlie rolled over and into his arms with a contented sigh. Nick put his thumb under his chin and titled his face up, pressing a feather light peck to his lips and giving him a soft smile before he leaned in and deepened the kiss. Whenever they had sex in a position like the one they just did, they had this need to be close like this afterwards. Charlie sighed happily into the kiss, meeting Nick’s tongue with his own and winding his arms around his neck so he could pull him close.

The kiss was slow and sensual, lighting up all of Charlie’s senses so he could feel every strand of Nick’s hair under his fingers and taste him on his tongue. He had pins and needles in his lips when they finally broke apart.

“I never thought I’d feel this happy.”

Nick ran his fingers lightly up and down his arm. “Me neither. You’ve totally turned my life upside down, Spring.”

Charlie giggled into his chest. “Sorry.”

“No S word. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

He pulled back to look up at Nick, misty eyed with adoration. “You still like me even though I’m a bit of a fickle, prickly bastard?”

Nick kissed the end of his nose. “I like you because you’re a fickle, prickly bastard. Obviously.”

That was all the affirmation Charlie needed to hear. And as he snuggled into Nick’s chest and felt his strong rugby arms envelop him, he started to consider the possibility that one day, he might get to the point where he didn’t need to hear it at all.

It was a full house the following day, the kitchen buzzing with life when Nick and Charlie finally emerged. A dishevelled looking Sai and Chelsea were taking tentative nibbles of plain toast and butter as they listened to Christian tell an animated story about the night before, occasionally wincing when his volume increased. Otis was hunched over the tiny island nursing a cup of tea and Imogen was cooking what looked like a full fry up, something Charlie was sure absolutely no one but he and Nick would be able to stomach. He silently thanked past-Charlie for making good decisions. Mind blowing, intimate sex with his fit boyfriend and no hangover? Result.

“Hey!” Imogen greeted brightly as she turned to them, Christian’s t-shirt slipping off her shoulder. “Please tell me you guys worked up an appetite last night because no one else wants this.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Nick grimaced.

“Immy, please. Let’s not.”

“Actually, we did raid the snack cupboard and watched a movie, y’know…after we shagged,” Charlie added, admiring the way his boyfriend’s ears turned a lovely shade of pink as he pulled a punnet of grapes out of the fridge, “but I still wouldn’t say no to some eggs.”

He leaned his hip against the island next to Otis and gratefully accepted a coffee from Sai, clinking his mug against Chelsea’s in a greeting. How strange that everything had led to this - all of them, together, under one roof. A year ago he’d never have imagined his life would turn out this way. Surrounded by men he called friends and a boyfriend who gave him everything he needed. Finally accepting and loving himself for who he was. Feeling at ease in a room full of people he used to actively try to distance himself from. He would conjure up reasons to hate them because it was easier than facing rejection from them.

But now, as he watched his boyfriend laugh with Chelsea, catching the grapes she was throwing in his mouth and crying out indignantly when she chucked one aggressively at his forehead, he could suddenly see it. He could see the two of them in their one bedroom apartment, dancing around the kitchen as their breakfast burned and their golden retriever puppy looked on, bemused. He could see them snuggling on the sofa on a freezing cold winter night, hands wrapped around mugs of hot chocolate as they talked about everything and nothing. He could see himself meeting Nick’s mum, and Nick meeting Tao and Elle, and all of them getting together for all the chaotic holidays that he wouldn’t have any other way.

And he could see the tough times too, the nights where the darkness rose up inside him and threatened to block the light and the warmth out again. Only this time, he wouldn’t be alone. His boyfriend would be there to breathe with him and soothe him and kiss the tears from his cheeks. He’d be there to explain what was really going on, and to talk him down from the ledge, away from the gloomy waves churning below. He’d tell him that things were okay, that he loved him, and that he’d never, ever betray him.

And Charlie would believe him.

So he just smiled into his coffee cup as Nick crossed the kitchen and wrapped his arms around his shoulders from behind, resting his chin on top of Charlie’s head as he listened intently to a story Christian was telling about the bouncer proposing to one of the drag queens on the stage of the Parrot last night. He rested his hand on Nick’s forearm, stroking the soft hairs there and letting the feeling of being loved and safe flow through his body and tingle in his fingers and toes.

“And then she said “I’ll think about it, sugar”! Into the mic as well, fucking savage!” Christian cried, gesturing wildly, and Nick’s laugh vibrated against Charlie’s back. It jiggled his insides, making Charlie giggle too. Nick kissed the top of his head, and Charlie felt the warmth cascade from the spot where his lips lingered all the way down to his feet.

It had taken him a really long time - perhaps too long - to understand that real love wasn’t easy because it wasn’t meant to be. Nothing that could make you feel this good should come without a little bit of a fight. He got that now. He might’ve had a pretty huge capacity for hatred and vitriol before, but that just meant he had a huge capacity for all emotions, and luckily a beautiful, patient, fit rugby playing bartender had crashed into his life and reminded him that he could replace all that hate with love. He could fill his heart and body and soul up with it until it was bursting out of his seams, flooding the ground around him.

To Charlie, being in love now felt less like a fear and more like a trust fall, intimidating and exhilarating and carrying a chance, however big or small, that he might get hurt. He’d never been able to see it before because the idea of trusting someone else so completely was foreign to him after everything he’d been through. His inability to give Nick his trust was what led to their breakdown of communication and subsequently, their break up. Charlie never wanted to make that mistake again.

Because here’s the thing - if you want someone’s trust, you have to give yours away too.

Charlie twisted up to look at Nick, his mouth curved into a gentle smile. “I love you,” he whispered, so only Nick could hear. Nick glowed under his words, lit from within as he dipped his head and nuzzled Charlie’s ear with his nose.

His heart was finally free of its cage, and it was stretching and breathing and expanding in the light. It was ready for whatever came next.

“I love you too.”

Charlie believed him, and he would keep believing him. Because that was what trust was all about. It was choosing to take that step back from the ledge, away from the darkness, to where Nick was waiting. It was closing his eyes and holding his arms out as he rocked back on his heels and felt his balance waver. It was knowing that Nick was there, right behind him. Knowing he would always catch him.

So he took a deep breath, and he fell.