Work Text:
And I've been meaning to tell you, I think your house is haunted
Your dad is always mad and that must be why
And I think you should come live with me
and we could be pirates
Then you won't have to cry or hide in the closet
(T.S)
Everything was cold.
The air. The streets. The wind. The dark.
Nico’s hands were shaking, his olive skin growing paler the colder he became. It was only a matter of time until he grew completely numb. Was it better to feel the cold bite of pain to know you were still alive or to escape into the release of numbness? He wasn’t sure yet.
“Nico,” a voice echoed.
He didn’t bother looking up, the only voices he heard when he fell into this spiral of thinking were ghosts. For the Ghost King who supposedly controlled them, he couldn’t help but feel haunted.
A warm hand touched his, the sudden heat feeling like a flame of fire in contrast to his ice-cold skin. He almost pulled his hand away, but he felt frozen in place like he couldn’t move or say a word.
“Nico,” the voice repeated, firmer this time and louder. “Nico, look at me.”
Another warm hand pressed against his face, turning his head toward the sound. Nico’s dark brown eyes struggled to focus. His sight was still blurred, the faint image of a person seated next to him.
“What are you doing to yourself, hermano?” the voice whispered. “Nico, it’s me, Reyna. Where are you in your head?”
Reyna’s concerned brown eyes faded into view, her dark hair twisted into several braids as she wore a long coat over her clothes. Her hands were still holding one of his, the burning of the touch now fading as the frozen feel of his skin melted away.
“Sorry,” he whispered, wondering if the word would merely float away with the wind.
“You never have to apologize to me, Nico, not for something like this,” she replied softly, her tone understanding and compassionate. “What happened?”
He opened his mouth to speak but the words were trapped in his throat. It was months after he’d escaped Tartarus. Why did it still haunt his dreams and thoughts? It seemed every time he closed his eyes, the screams began again as the pain started.
Reyna’s hand squeezed his reassuringly. “It’s okay, you don’t have to speak yet. Just focusing on breathing. You’re safe, you’re here, you aren’t alone.”
The two demigods remained seated in the shadows on a stone bench outside of the Principia at Camp Jupiter, overlooking New Rome in the distance.
Camp Half-Blood was filled with too many memories for Nico to handle at the moment, glimpses of Bianca coming forth more often than it used to before Tartarus. Going to Camp Jupiter, to New Rome, seemed the best option instead of fleeing to the underworld. Hazel was there at Camp Jupiter, as were Jason and Reyna, making it an easier decision.
Nico had hoped the ghosts wouldn’t follow him, but perhaps they lived in his head, cursed to haunt him forever.
“It was the dreams again,” Nico finally managed to say.
“The word dream is an unfair description for nightmares,” Reyna answered quietly when he didn’t continue speaking. “Want to talk about it?”
Nico’s mind flashed with memories of nightmares, Reyna’s hand the only thing grounding him to the moment he was in.
Touch was difficult for him ever since Tartarus, but slowly he was growing more used to the small shows of affection from Hazel, Jason, and Reyna. Touch-starved was a term used by Jason once. All Nico knew was sometimes a light touch was too overstimulating for his skin and other times he craved the closeness of another person.
“I don’t know,” he replied.
It was hard to describe his nightmares, the memories intertwined with images and voices, all of which left him feeling disoriented and confused.
“I feel broken, Rey,” Nico admitted, the words breaking forth.
Reyna hummed in acknowledgement of his words. “You aren’t broken, hermano. A person can be hurt, be in pain, without being broken. You and me have a lot in common. We both have ghosts haunting us, but ghosts are just that – they cannot touch us any longer.”
“Ghosts in my head are harder to ban than the ghosts I can see.”
“If it were easy, we would never grow as strong,” Reyna said. “Though perhaps that is more of my mother speaking, the goddess of war fond of strength built through trial.”
Nico sighed. “I don’t care about being strong. I’m so tired.”
“You don’t have to be strong right now,” she replied. “You can rest if you wish. Let people in, hermano, it may help lessen the burdens you carry.”
“Eros was in my dreams again,” he whispered. “Taunting me, yelling the words out for the world to hear. I couldn’t move.”
Reyna let the silence linger for a moment before speaking. “Perhaps if you spoke the words to yourself more often, they wouldn’t feel like daggers to your chest any longer.”
“Perhaps.”
“Would you like to try it? You could tell me.”
Nico huffed a bitter laugh. “You already know.”
“That means you already know my response. You know I would never judge you for anything, that I care about you regardless of whatever you tell me.”
Nico swallowed, accidentally squeezing Reyna’s hand when he tensed, taking a deep breath to calm himself. It was just Reyna, it was just three words, he could do it.
“Reyna, I’m gay.” The words came out in a rush, and he found himself unable to make eye contact despite the fact she already knew and still cared.
“And I’m proud of you, Neeks.” Reyna leaned slowly, her shoulder against his, an unspoken comfort. “I’m asexual, you know. I thought I was broken for a long time, like there was something wrong with me since I don’t desire sex. Now I know it’s just another part of who I am.”
“I think who you are is pretty awesome,” he couldn’t help but say, wanting Reyna to know how much he appreciated her.
She smiled. “I think you’re pretty awesome too, chico. Now, would you like to go inside now? You could come stay with me in the praetor’s villa or we could go together to the Ambassador’s villa unless you want to be alone. I could even message Jason and Hazel to join us if you would like to be distracted.”
Nico considered the options, looking out at the flickering lights of New Rome as the city slept. The moon was barely visible underneath the fog of clouds, the sky shades of navy fading into black.
“Could we sit for a while longer?” Nico asked, not ready to get up yet.
“Of course,” she replied instantly.
Neither of them spoke, the silence between the two dear friends a peaceful comfort in the quiet of night. When Nico noticed Reyna shiver because of the cold, however, he knew it was time to go back inside. He may tolerate the cold better than most, but she deserved better.
“Let’s go to the Ambassador’s villa,” he suggested, standing up and letting go of her hand.
Reyna stood as well, shoving her hands in her coat pockets. Her light brown skin glowed in the streetlights, highlighting the red tinge to her nose and cheeks due to the cold. “Would you like me to message Hazel or Jason?”
Nico considered the question, not feeling up to much company yet also desiring his friend and his sister nearby. “They can come over, as long as I’m not expected to talk too much.” The talking was the most exhausting part sometimes.
Reyna smiled encouragingly at him, messaging the two with her new phone that had been monster-proof approved by Leo. The pair walked to the nearby villa; the small building reserved for the Ambassador of Pluto.
It was a beautiful villa with Roman styled architecture. It was an open floor plan, the kitchen flowing into the living room as well as the dining room. There was a separate bedroom and bathroom, but Reyna and Nico walked in and remained in the living room. As they had done many times before, they pulled out the two spare mattresses from the closet and laid them out on the floor. Reyna grabbed the snacks and drinks from the kitchen while Nico spread out the blankets over the mattresses, making room for everyone to sleep.
Jason and Hazel arrived within a few more minutes, both wearing comfy pants to sleep in, Hazel wearing a Camp Jupiter t shirt and Jason wearing a blue hoodie. They took off their jackets and shoes upon entering, greeting Reyna and Nico in quiet voices, knowing the drill when faced when nights like these.
The four teenagers sat around on the mattresses, digging into the snacks, and sipping on hot drinks that Reyna had prepared.
Hazel began sharing stories from the Fifth Cohort, filling them in on the funny moments from the past few days.
Nico would feel guilty of the fact the three people he was with were adjusting their nights to help him, except that he knew they cared for him as much as he did for them. Besides, this was their standard routine whenever any of them had bad nightmares and didn’t want to be left alone. It was a gentle reassurance of having people close by without any expectations, no forced small talk.
Jason shifted on the mattress to sit closer to Nico, pressing his arm and leg against Nico’s. “Is this okay?” the son of Jupiter whispered, knowing Nico didn’t always welcome touch.
Nico nodded.
Everything was still cold, but perhaps with people around him keeping him grounded it wouldn’t be as lonely anymore.