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‘The hottest new tech trend in 2023? Teleportation. We’re here with Oluwande Boodhari and Jim Jimenez to discuss their invention, which is set to revolutionise the travel industry this year. Welcome Oluwande and Jim.’

‘Thank you so much, it’s a pleasure to be here.’

‘What do you want the public to know about teleportation?’

‘Well, first of all, we want to address the rumour that when you teleport you die and are replaced by a clone. That’s just the plot of the movie The Prestige . Our teleportation device does not work like that. You do not die.’

‘Fascinating. But do you become a clone?’

‘Um, no. That wouldn’t - how would that work?’

‘I don’t know, you’re the scientists! Now what about the rumour that Apple is going to buy you out?’

‘We do not want that to happen.’

‘You’re not interested in an IPO?’

‘Um, no, we actually want this invention to be used for the good of everyone on earth, not just the wealthy.’

‘Wow, fascinating. And Jim, what do you think?’

‘...’

‘Um, actually, Jim is, a, um, a mute, but they are, um, gesturing, that the invention is for the benefit of all, and we are offering anyone interested free teleports. You can travel this way once per month, with each teleport lasting exactly eight hours before you return to your original location.’’

‘And you get to keep your legs with this tech trend, right?’

‘Um, yes, I also want to emphasise that if a fly gets into the machine with you, you will not metamorphosise into a fly.’

‘Well, I wasn’t worried about that before, but I am now! Let’s move over to sports.’

***

Stede’s on holiday in Seville when he ends his marriage of fifteen years. 

Mary’s not on holiday with him, so he does it by text. 

The distance between them hasn’t so much grown as atrophied in its original position, and even though she’s pretty fucking mad about the text thing, one phone call later they’ve squared it away complete with a schedule for sharing the kids. 

Stede walks out of his hotel into the street, dazed. Something he’s been dreading for years is over, just like that, and he thinks he should feel happy, but right now, he doesn’t feel anything at all. 

‘ Teletransportación gratis ,’ a man calls to him from a doorway, and when he turns his head, the man adds, ‘Free teleportation station, right here sir, please step this way and try this amazing new technology!’

What the hell , Stede thinks, and steps through the door. 

***

‘Where do you want to go?’ the affable man helping Stede stand on a taped X on the floor asks. 

‘Where can I go?’ Stede counters when nowhere comes to mind. 

Given the chance to travel anywhere, he can’t think of a single place he’d like to be. 

It doesn’t feel great. 

‘There’s a few minor restrictions,’ the man says. ‘First of all, it has to be on earth. It is technically possible to send you to the moon, but NASA doesn’t like it. Messes up the footprints and things. Second of all, it has to be on land. No middle of the ocean or middle of a big lake. Third, it has to be between the equator and 66 degrees north or south unless you’ve got some special governmental dispensation for polar travel or you are indigenous to the Arctic. Fourth -’

‘Gosh, this is a lot of rules,’ Stede says, starting to feel alarmed. ‘Sounds like the range of places I can go is quite narrow. Why don’t you pick for me, Mr, uh,’ he squints at the man’s nametag, ‘Mr Frenchie.’

‘Just Frenchie if you please,’ the man says, ‘and it would be a terrible burden for me to pick for you. I might send you to the wrong place.’

Stede blinks. ‘Well, uh,’ he says. ‘How about the furthest place from here.’

Frenchie looks at his laptop, types intensely for several seconds, and then looks back at Stede. ‘Yep,’ he says, ‘that’ll work,’ and then he hits a button and Stede - 

***

Stede’s standing on a cliff. 

He falls on his ass.

His phone buzzes and he sees a new Whatsapp message: Frenchie here. Forgot to mention. You get eight hours, then you come back through the same point. I’ll send you a half hour warning and a five minute warning. Have fun!

Stede blinks at the message, reads it again, and looks up. There’s a man standing on the edge of the cliff, mouth hanging slightly open as he stares at Stede. 

‘Hey, uh, what the fuck?’ he asks in a very strong Kiwi accent.

‘Holy shit,’ Stede says. ‘I just teleported to New Zealand.’

‘Aotearoa, mate,’ the man says.

Stede stares at him. He’s extremely handsome. He also appears to be standing on the edge of a cliff. ‘Are you, uh, were you - did I interrupt you -’

‘No,’ the man says quickly. ‘Just taking in the view. Definitely not feeling bored with life and considering ending it all.’ 

‘Ah,’ Stede says. ‘Good. Excellent, even. Though if you were, uh, feeling that way, I’d recommend teleportation.’ 

The man stares at him. ‘Are you some kind of viral advertising?’

‘No,’ Stede says. ‘This just doesn’t seem like a boring activity.’ 

The man steps close and holds out his hand. Stede looks at it and then reaches up and shakes it. ‘Stede Bonnet,’ he says. 

‘I’m trying to help you up,’ the man says, and then adds, ‘Ed. Teach. Edward Teach.’

‘Oh,’ Stede says, startled. He lets Ed pull him to his feet. ‘Fab!’ 

***

Ed has about a thousand questions for Stede about teleportation, almost none of which Stede can answer. Once Stede’s exhausted everything Frenchie told him, he finally says, ‘Maybe you should try it. You seem very keen.’ 

‘No,’ Ed says instantly. ‘Not at all keen. I, uh, I hear you die and turn into a clone.’

Stede shrugs. ‘Maybe I have,’ he says. 

Ed squints at him. ‘Do you feel like you did?’

Stede gets the idea that a clone of him wouldn’t have a chipped tooth from a bad encounter with a childhood bully. A clone would have been raised in a laboratory with other clones, he thinks, far away from pursuits like flower picking and daydreaming that earned the ire of other boys. Stede probes his canine with his tongue. Still chipped. ‘Nope.’

‘Fascinating,’ Ed proclaims. ‘Well, now what?’

Stede shrugs. ‘I’ve got eight hours - well -’ He checks the time on Frenchie’s Whatsapp message. ‘I guess more like seven and a half hours. And then I need to be back here to teleport back.’

‘Where to?’

‘Seville. Spain. I was on holiday. Still am, I suppose. Just - not in Spain anymore.’

‘Well,’ Ed says, ‘we’ve got nicer beaches around here than Spain, I reckon.’

Stede raises an eyebrow. ‘Really?’

‘Let me show you.’

***

Ed gives him the complete tour of Auckland, including some truly stunning beaches and a fairly grubby chippy that produces the best fish and chips Stede has ever eaten.

Then Ed takes him up the Sky Tower, and they look out over the city towards the docks. Ed is remarkably knowledgeable about the ships there. 

‘Are you a sailor or something?’ Stede asks. 

‘Used to be,’ Ed says. ‘Sort of still am.’

‘Oh?’ 

‘C’mon,’ Ed says, then hesitates. ‘Well - how much time do we have left?’ 

Stede has completely forgotten about the concept of time. He’s horrified to discover that he only has two hours left in Auckland. ‘Oh no.’

‘Are you late?’ Ed demands. ‘Are you going to turn into a clone?’

Stede dutifully probes his tooth again. Still chipped. ‘Not a clone yet,’ he says. 

‘How do you know?’

‘I’ve got this tooth that I - I chipped it as a kid. So I keep checking that it’s still chipped.’

Ed raises his eyebrows. ‘You’re pretty smart, man.’

‘Aw,’ Stede says, genuinely touched. ‘Thanks.’ He checks his phone again. ‘I’ve got just under two hours left.’

‘Perfect,’ Ed says. ‘We’ll take a little detour and then get you back there right on time.’

***

‘Wow,’ Stede says. ‘You live on a yacht?’

‘It’s just a boat,’ Ed says, very dismissively. ‘Yachts are bigger.’

Stede frowns. He’s pretty sure this is a yacht, but Ed seems touchy about it, so he drops it. ‘This is beautiful,’ he says. ‘Like, really beautiful.’ The yacht - boat - is docked all by itself in a circular cove, ringed in by high cliffs on both sides with a golden beach in front of it. Ed leads him down the dock and onto the aft of the boat. It has a translucent floor and the water below is a remarkable blue-green. Stede watches a large orange fish scoot underneath the hull. ‘You live here full time?’

‘Yep,’ Ed says. ‘It’s, uh, nice.’

Stede glances back at him. For the first time in his acquaintance, Ed looks a little unsure. Stede remembers that he did find the man looking like he was about to jump off a cliff. ‘Ed,’ he says, absolutely not sure what to say but very much wanting to say the right thing. He blurts out, ‘I don’t want to go.’

‘I’ll be honest,’ Ed says, ‘I don’t want you to go.’ He gestures for Stede to sit beside him on the back of the boat, so that their legs dangle in the water. Stede does, scooting close, and Ed scoots closer, so their thighs press together and their calves brush against each other where Stede can see them in the warm water. He’s about to ask Ed something - anything - find out if Ed has ever made a friend so fast, because Stede’s not sure he’s ever made a friend like Ed period, and he thinks this might be a unique experience he’s having, but - 

Stede’s phone buzzes. Frenchie, of course, giving him his half hour warning. 

Stede texts, What happens if I don’t come back?

Frenchie replies, Oh, you have to come back. It just works a lot better if you do it from the same place you came in.

‘Uh,’ Ed says, reading over Stede’s shoulder. ‘We gotta get you back.’ 

***

‘I think it was right here,’ Ed says, pointing to an indistinguishable spot in the dirt atop the cliff. 

‘Ed,’ Stede says, helpless. ‘Ed, I don’t -’ 

‘Here,’ Ed says, and shoves a scrap of paper into Stede’s hand. ‘My number. Country code’s plus six four. Text me, if you want.’ He looks up at Stede with big eyes. ‘Please.’

‘Yes,’ Stede agrees instantly. 

‘Great,’ Ed says. He hesitates; Stede hesitates too. 

Ed’s hovering like he wants to touch Stede, so Stede says quickly, ‘Ed, be careful, I don’t want you to get caught in the - in whatever it is. Please.’

‘Yeah, okay,’ Ed says, and jerks back like he’s received an electrical shock. ‘But it was - it was the most fun I’ve had. In ages.’

Stede thinks he’s got to say something more. Anything. He blurts out: ‘My number is -’ 

***

‘Yeah, I know your number,’ Frenchie says. ‘I’ve been texting you, remember? We had a conversation?’

Stede closes his mouth. He’s back. In Seville. He must look a little wild-eyed, because Frenchie takes a step back. 

‘Whoa, man, might want to sit down, that was a pretty big jump -’

‘I want to go back,’ Stede says. ‘Right now. Send me back.’

Frenchie holds up his hands. ‘That’s not allowed.’

Stede reaches for his wallet, pulls out everything in it. ‘Do you take Amex Black?’

‘No, listen - ‘

‘Probably not Amex,’ Stede mutters, dropping the heavy card on the floor. ‘Visa? Mastercard? Cash? Euros? Dollars? Yen?’

‘No - ‘

‘Crypto? This is a tech startup, right, do you want crypto? I can buy some right now if you’ll just show me how to set up one of those wallets -’

‘Man,’ Frenchie says, and puts a hand on Stede’s forearm. ‘Let’s take some deep breaths, ok?’

Stede breathes through four sharp inhales and exhales before he knows he’s crying. ‘Please,’ he says to Frenchie. 

Frenchie looks devastated. ‘I’m really, really sorry,’ he says. ‘I can’t. You can only do it once a month. It’s not safe to do it more.’ 

***

By the time he’s back at work in London, a week later, Stede’s convinced himself that this is the right thing to do, that he shouldn’t just drop everything and say fuck his life and buy a one-way plane ticket to Auckland. 

After all, Ed hasn’t asked in the dozens of hours they’ve spent texting each other since. Maybe Ed didn’t find meeting Stede as life changing as Stede found meeting Ed. Maybe Ed meets people like Stede all the time, and texts them at all hours, time zones be damned. Maybe he really does prefer to live on his boat alone, unbothered. Maybe he really was just taking in the view from the top of the cliff. 

***

Good morning from the future Stede

The killer robots are here but PLOT TWIST they’re shaped like snakes so they’re having a hard time opening doors

I’m barricaded in my cabin

Oh dear, well, hopefully you’ll have killed them all off by the time I get to the future

I’m back here in the Iron Age of course, we’re just learning how to mine ore and blacksmith

I’ll let you know once I invent the phone

***

Hey Stede

Hey

Hey Stede

Hye stede!! Wake up!!!!1

Good morning eight hours later, Ed. 

What are you doing?

I’m lying in bed like I am every time I text you good morning. I just woke up.

Guess what day today is?

What day?

It’s the four point five week anniversary of us meeting.

Stede blinks. That’s such a sweet thing for Ed to say - 

It’s a NEW MONTH, STEDE

NEW TELEPORTATION OPPORTUNITY, STEDE

Stede sits bolt upright in his bed. A book he’d been reading last night slides to the floor and knocks over a glass of water with a thunk. 

I need a location , he texts to Ed with shaking hands. Where should we meet?

Ed gives him a string of numbers that Stede realises are GPS coordinates. Stede pulls up Slack and sends a message to his PA. 

I’m so sorry. I’m dreadfully ill. It might be covid. I’ll take a test in a few hours but now I’m going to sleep.

He scrambles out of bed and starts digging through his closet. What to wear, what to wear - 

What are we going to do, Ed? How should I dress?

It’s a warm day here. I thought we’d go to a nice restaurant. So something a little dressy, but not too hot. 

Stede utterly panics. All of his linen suits are from last season; can he have a new one tailored today? He flings open his closet door and starts digging through it - 

Hey man are you coming? Let me know when you’re on your way

Stede glances at his watch. Fuck fuck fuck. He showers as fast as he can and throws three - ok, four - possible outfits into a garment bag, grabs his phone, grabs his charger, grabs his wallet, has to run back for his keys, and then races to the lift. He’s googled the nearest free teleportation station many times in the past month on the off chance that Ed would ask him back, so he knows it’s not far, but he hails a cab anyway, so he’s not sweating when he arrives. From the back of the cab, he texts Ed. 

On my way

Jeez man thought you weren’t coming

Sorry. Had to find the right outfit. 

Did you?

Stede glances at the garment bag again. He hopes nothing is wrinkling. He taps the screen between the driver and himself and requests air conditioning. The driver frowns. 

‘You going to vom?’

‘What?’

‘Why you want the AC?’

‘My suits,’ Stede tries. ‘They’re wrinkling!’ 

‘Yeah, ok, mate,’ the driver says, and pulls up to the kerb.

‘No,’ Stede protests, panicking. ‘You - you have to -’

‘We’re here.’

Stede looks out the window. ‘Oh. Yes. Thank you.’ He taps his phone to the screen to pay, grabs the garment bag, and sprints from the cab to the door. 

***

‘Stede,’ Ed says, and gives him a bone crushing hug. 

‘Ed,’ is all Stede can say, trying to return the hug with one arm while holding out his garment bag with the other. 

‘Ok, let’s go to dinner,’ Ed says, giving Stede one final squeeze and stepping back, pressing his hands palm down to his own sides. ‘You want to put that bag down?’ 

They’re on the beach between the two cliffs. Ed had initially given Stede the boat’s coordinates, but the staff in the teleportation station - some guy with a near-incomprehensible Nordic accent - had refused on the grounds that it violated the rule about no water. 

‘It’s a boat,’ Stede had tried, but the man couldn’t be reasoned with, so he’d texted Ed back for a second set of coordinates and now - 

Now he’s here. On the beach with Ed. 

He feels unreasonably close to tears. 

‘I need to get dressed,’ he says instead. 

‘Oh,’ Ed says. He looks Stede up and down. ‘I thought you were.’

‘I thought we were going out to a nice dinner?’

Ed’s face cycles through several emotions before he says, ‘All right, but hurry up - we’ve got a reservation.’ 

In the cabin, Stede tears apart his garment bag, trying to find the right thing to wear. His hands are shaking and he has no idea why he’s so nervous, why he’s so emotional about all of this - 

Yes, Ed is lovely, the best friend Stede’s ever had, and so far they’ve spent just over eight hours in the same hemisphere, and they’re about to spend eight more, and Stede feels overwhelmed at the thought - 

‘Need help?’ Ed calls through the door. 

Stede looks at his options. Swallows. Still wants to cry. Swallows again. Pinches himself. Get a fucking grip. ‘Turquoise or copper?’ he calls back.

‘Hm. Turquoise.’ 

Stede nods and grabs the right trousers. ‘Excellent choice.’

***

‘Are these like - are these - ‘ Ed’s hand is hovering over Stede’s leg in the taxi. 

‘Go ahead,’ Stede suggests. ‘You can touch them.’

Ed places his palm on Stede’s thigh and strokes down to his knee. ‘Are these fucking velvet?’

‘Yes,’ Stede says cautiously, because what if Ed doesn’t like them - 

What if tonight is when Ed discovers that Stede is a silly little man with silly little tastes - 

‘They’re so nice,’ Ed says, and squeezes Stede’s knee before he lets go. Stede’s heart almost beats out of his chest with joy. 

‘I love your jacket,’ he gushes at Ed, unable to hold it in any longer. ‘Is that custom?’

‘Yeah,’ Ed beams, folding open the dark purple lapel so Stede can see the patterned interior. ‘Custom made in Hong Kong. I never get a chance to wear it.’ 

Stede leans in closer and runs his hand down the inside of the jacket. ‘Are those - are those little octopuses printed on the silk?’

‘Krakens,’ Ed says with a grin. 

‘Like the rum?’ Stede teases. 

‘Like the legendary sea creature,’ Ed says, and then sees Stede’s sly grin, and breaks into his own. 

***

The restaurant is French, and it is very self-consciously fancy. Stede is used to the kind of meals that lawyers and bankers get taken out to by clients, and he pegs this place as a bit of a fraud in an instant, but he doesn’t say a word, because Ed is so evidently excited that they are here. 

‘It’s really highly reviewed,’ he confides to Stede as the waiter leads them to a seat. 

‘The setting is incredible,’ Stede says, because that part’s true - they’re on a balcony overlooking a bay, with the twinkling lights of the city behind them. 

‘Oh fuck,’ Ed says. ‘There’s a lot of forks on this table.’ 

Stede laughs and picks up the first as the waiter presents them with an amuse-bouche. He sees Ed copy him, and afterwards makes an effort to demonstrate clearly which piece of cutlery he’s going to select for each course. Ed’s eyes follow him through the night, as they talk about music and life and warm Auckland and rainy London. 

‘You ever been to Paris?’ Ed asks Stede, pouring him more wine after the mains have been cleared. 

‘Yes,’ Stede says. ‘Quite often. The firm I work for has some property holdings there and I travel down a few times a year. Less so during covid, but it’s picking back up again.’

Ed’s eyes are enormous. Stede thinks, we don’t really talk about work, do we? He’s suddenly filled with an intense desire to know what Ed does with his days. ‘What about you?’ he asks.

‘Paris?’ Ed says. ‘Never. Never been to Europe, even. Went to LA once, that’s the furthest I’ve gone.’

‘And Hong Kong.’ 

‘Yeah, Hong Kong and Tokyo. A couple of times. But they’re not that far from here.’

‘For work?’

Ed nods but says nothing else. 

‘A sailor, right?’ Stede tries gently. 

‘Hah,’ Ed says. ‘Yeah. Sort of. And you do - real estate?’

Stede winces. ‘It’s very boring,’ he says. ‘I inherited the firm from my father. We’ve got holdings all over Europe. Brexit fucked us royally and I nearly dissolved the whole thing rather than deal with it, but my ex has this idea that our children should inherit something, so, I suppose I’ve got to keep making money.’ 

Ed’s eyebrows are nearing his hairline. ‘Wow.’

‘What?’

‘You were married,’ he says. ‘With a kid.’

‘Two kids,’ Stede says, not quite sure how to interpret Ed’s reaction. He’s nearly fifty; it doesn’t seem that shocking to have been married. ‘I get them every other weekend.’ He pulls out his phone and shows Ed a photo of the last time they were together - at the London Zoo last weekend. 

‘They’re cute,’ Ed says. ‘The girl looks like you.’

‘Alma,’ Stede says fondly. ‘And Louis. My marriage was a mistake, but I could never regret them.’ 

‘When did you get divorced?’ Ed asks. 

‘Funny story, that.’

***

While they’re waiting on the cheque, Stede gets up to go to the toilet. He tugs out his phone and sees that somehow three hours have already passed; only five more to go with Ed. 

Still over half , he tells himself, but he feels it like a clock ticking in the back of his mind as he washes his hands and returns to the dining room. 

They’d arrived late - Ed said he’d moved the reservation when Stede was struggling to get to the Teleportation Station - and they’d taken a long time over the meal - so the dining room is empty enough that Stede hears the argument as soon as he walks around the corner. 

‘I know who you are,’ the manager is saying to Ed, who is practically quivering with what must be fury. ‘You aren’t welcome here again.’ 

‘I’m paying you with the same money as everyone else,’ Ed snaps, and Stede hears an underlying current in Ed’s voice and realises that it’s not just fury - if it’s even fury at all - Ed’s hurt - 

He steps close and puts his hand on Ed’s upper arm. ‘What’s the problem here?’ he asks him. 

‘The problem -’ the manager starts, and Stede holds up his hand.

‘I didn’t ask you,’ he says, and makes eye contact with Ed. 

Ed blinks, holds Stede’s gaze for a moment, and then looks away and down, out toward the sea. ‘They don’t want my money,’ he says quietly. 

‘No, we don’t want your money,’ the manager snaps. 

‘What on earth are you talking about?’ Stede demands, because he can tell Ed is not able to speak for himself at the moment.

‘This kind of thing could get out on social media,’ the manager hisses. Stede keeps one hand on Ed’s arm and yanks out his money clip with his other. He sees the manager see his Amex Black, sees the man’s fucking eyes widen, so he skips over it, instead finding a crumpled British five pound note and dropping it on the table. 

‘I hope that covers it,’ he says, loud enough that anyone left in the restaurant can hear, and then he loops his arm through Ed’s and leads them out into the night. 

***

Ed’s silent in the taxi on the way back to the yacht, and silent as Stede follows him down the dock and onboard, and silent still as he pulls a bottle of rum out of a cooler on the lower deck, rolls up his trouser legs, and plunks down on the back of the boat. 

Stede doesn’t know what to do, so he rolls up his trouser legs too - thinks that it is a testament to their friendship that he does it, and prays to god that some combination of his tailor and his dry cleaner will be able to fix the situation - and sits beside Ed.

‘Can I have some rum?’

Ed blinks several times and offers him the bottle. Stede takes a long drink and passes it back to Ed. 

‘Fuck, Stede,’ Ed says finally, ‘that was fucking incredible.’

‘They deserved it,’ Stede says, relieved at Ed’s reaction. ‘They hurt you.’

Ed glances at Stede out of the side of his eyes and takes another long drink. Then he says, ‘Thank you.’ He pushes himself to his feet. ‘I’ve got an idea.’

‘Okay,’ Stede says instantly. ‘Let’s do it.’

Ed holds out his hand and helps Stede to his feet. ‘Don’t you want to hear what it is first?’

‘I trust you,’ Stede says, and means it. ‘But, um, can I borrow some clothes first? If it’s going to be - not formal?’

***

Ed gives him a t-shirt and board shorts, the latter something he has never even considered wearing and the former enough of a novelty that he’s surprised by how soft it feels. Stede’s just figuring out the drawstring on the shorts standing in Ed’s cabin when he feels the boat move. 

‘Ed?’

‘Taking her out to sea, mate,’ Ed calls. ‘We’ve got three hours still, yeah?’

Stede looks at his phone with a sinking feeling that luckily has nothing to do with the boat. Time’s over halfway up. ‘You’re right,’ he calls back. He opens the cabin door and pulls himself up to stand beside Ed at the wheel. 

They emerge between the cliff walls into a narrow channel. In the moonlight, Stede can see the flickering light of a few other boats and the shapes of small islands in the distance. ‘Gosh, Ed, it’s so beautiful here,’ he says. 

Ed reaches back and puts his hand on Stede’s shoulder for a second. ‘Thought you might like to see it.’ He slows the boat as they approach one of the islands, expertly spinning it while working the throttle. Stede loves watching him pilot. 

‘There,’ Ed says, suddenly pointing. ‘Look.’

Stede follows Ed’s finger towards the water until he sees - 

‘Oh my god,’ he breathes. ‘It’s - it’s blue!’ He looks back at Ed, then back at the water, which is glowing faintly. ‘Ed, it’s blue!’

Ed grins. ‘Bioluminescence.’

‘Wow.’

Ed takes them around the islands for the next few hours, pointing out interesting things in the darkness; Stede is full of questions, trying to absorb as much knowledge from Ed as he can. Ed teaches him to steer the boat, one hand on Stede’s shoulder and the other on the throttle while Stede’s hands rest on the wheel. And then Stede’s phone dings with the half hour warning, and Ed takes them back to the beach in silence. 

‘Fuck,’ Stede realises. ‘My clothes.’ He scrambles down to the cabin while Ed docks, tearing off Ed’s t-shirt and shorts and tugging his own back on, trying to stuff the rest into the garment bag as quickly as he can. He bursts back out through the cabin door and nearly collides with Ed, who’s standing at the back of the boat with a melancholy look on his face. 

‘Hey, uh,’ Ed says. ‘I, uh.’ 

‘I don’t want to go,’ Stede says in a rush. ‘Ed, I don’t want to go.’

Ed looks at him with very big eyes. ‘I don’t want you to go either,’ he says. 

‘But the rules -’

‘No, I know,’ Ed says. ‘I know you have to.’

‘But I don’t want to.’

Ed steps somehow closer just as a little wave hits the boat. Stede has to take a step back to stop from overbalancing, and Ed reaches out and pats his shoulder. ‘Okay,’ he says.

‘Okay,’ Stede replies, feeling like he missed something but not sure what. ‘I’ll - I’ll text you.’

‘Yeah,’ Ed says. ‘Okay. Thanks for, uh, for coming.’

‘Thanks for dinner,’ Stede says. ‘I’m so sorry about all the ugliness at the restaurant.’ His phone dings again and he climbs down onto the dock, holding his garment bag in one hand. 

‘Text me when you get home,’ Ed says. He follows Stede down the dock and to the beach. He steps back as Stede places his feet over their footprints from earlier - two sets of feet, clearly embracing. 

‘I will,’ Stede says. He’s full of a feeling that he can’t describe. He’s certain he’s never felt anything like it before; it’s a kind of full-bodied joyous despair? He’ll have to think more about it later. Right now all he can do is look at Ed. ‘Ed,’ he starts to say - 

***

‘You’ll miss me?’ the Nordic teleportation tech asks. ‘But I’m right here.’

Stede blinks. He hefts his garment bag and blinks again. His eyes are wet. ‘Never mind,’ he says quietly, and leaves the building. 

He tugs his phone out of his pocket and thumbs it on as he walks to his building. 

Back in London , he says. 

Ed replies with two messages. 

First, a screenshot: a countdown app, going backwards from one month.

Second, a photo of him from the neck down, wearing Stede’s necktie

I’ll be holding onto this for you. 

***

Whatcha doing

Reading a book

What book

Oh, just something I picked up to learn more about Aotearoa 

Stede’s phone rings. 

Holy fucking shit it’s Ed. 

Stede knows, of course, that it is technically possible to hear Ed’s voice over a phone line, but he’s never even considered it because it felt so against the rules. Who made those rules, and why, he’s not sure, but Ed’s really shattered a paradigm for him here. 

‘Hello?

‘Hey, Stede.’

Stede has to pause. Hearing Ed’s voice is so fucking good . It’s been three weeks of nothing but texts, three weeks of replaying every moment from their last time together in his mind, three weeks of a pale shadow of the real thing. 

‘Stede?’

Stede swallows and says, ‘How are you?’ 

‘Happy to hear your voice, man.’

‘You - you too.’ Pull it the fuck together, Stede . 

Maybe this is just what happens when you’ve never had a friend. 

‘What are you up to? It’s nighttime there, right?’ As if Stede doesn’t know the exact time in Auckland at every moment now. 

‘I want to hear more about your book.’ 

Stede hesitates, a little embarrassed. ‘Well, I wanted to learn more about the history of the place. And, uh, the Maori.’ 

‘Why’s that?’

Stede sighs. Ed’s clearly not going to let up on this. ‘Well, I think that’s what you are?’

‘Yeah. Half.’

‘So I just - I just wanted to know more.’ 

‘You were thinking of me?’ Ed asks. 

‘Obviously,’ Stede says. ‘I miss you.’ 

There’s a few moments of silence. Then Ed says, ‘Hey, do you want to come see where I’m from next week?’

‘Yes,’ Stede says. He looks back down at the book; it has black and white plates of landscapes that he realises he can see in person. ‘Absolutely.’

***

Ed’s waiting for him at the beach. He’s seated on a striped camp chair, legs crossed, drink with umbrella in hand, wearing just - 

Just a fucking red Speedo. 

Stede bursts into laughter. 

‘Hi, Ed.’

Ed slides down his sunglasses and nails Stede with those big brown eyes. ‘Hi, Stede.’

They both take each other in, Ed’s eyes dancing with amusement and Stede grinning helplessly back at him. 

‘You brought a suitcase?’ Ed asks just as Stede says, ‘My, Ed, you’ve got a lot of tattoos.’

‘Oh.’ Stede recovers first. ‘I just wasn’t sure how to dress and wanted to have several options.’

Ed grins and reaches under the chair, producing a second drink with an umbrella. ‘Welcome to our beach resort,’ he says. ‘Please enjoy an introductory cocktail on the house.’ 

Stede steps close and, feeling bold, plucks Ed’s drink out of his other hand and takes a long sip from it. ‘Mmm,’ he says. ‘Exquisite.’

Ed bursts into laughter and stands up, pressing the other drink into Stede’s other hand. ‘You’d better have them both,’ he says. ‘I’ve got to pilot the boat.’

***

Ed pulls on a t-shirt and shorts, then offers Stede some of his clothes - ‘We’re not going anywhere fancy, mate’ - so Stede accepts and sits beside Ed in the cockpit while he steers them around the coast. 

‘So you grew up in this area?’ Stede asks. 

‘Yeah,’ Ed says. ‘Born and raised right over there,’ he points in the distance to a spit of land jutting out into Manukau Harbour. ‘Then when I was a teenager, I moved into Auckland proper.’ He points towards the water. ‘Hey, dolphins!’ 

‘Wow,’ Stede says, utterly enchanted. 

The day’s enchantment only grows from there. Stede had left London at 9pm, 10am Auckland time, and their third eight hours together stretch out before him as tantalisingly as the glittering water around the boat. Ed brings them to another dock on the far side of the Harbour and walks them through a small town to a hair salon where he introduces Stede to his Auntie. She then rings what feels like the entire town to come to the salon and meet Stede. 

‘Ed’s home,’ she says, phone pressed to her ear while she’s shaving the head of a large man with beautiful facial tattoos. ‘He’s brought a nice young man.’

Ed, stretched out in another salon chair with his legs resting on a cart containing beauty supplies, rolls his eyes at Stede. 

Stede laughs and says to her, ‘Young! How flattering.’ 

‘You can’t be a day over thirty,’ she says to him with a wink. ‘You want me to trim your curls?’

‘Sure,’ Stede says, while Ed shakes his head at him frantically. 

‘Auntie,’ Ed says, a tinge of panic in his voice, ‘no razor.’ 

For four hours, Ed keeps up a stream of introductions and lively conversation with every person who stops by, always including Stede, seeking Stede out with his eyes if the conversation has gone too far down a path of local gossip, making sure that Stede gets a taste of any food people bring with them. Stede’s not sure he’s ever felt so welcome in a new place, and he can see how much it relates to Ed’s status here. Everyone clearly loves him. When it’s time to go, Ed deftly slips what looks like several hundred dollars into the salon’s cash drawer and manoeuvres them out the door with a promise to return soon.

‘Ed, that was so lovely,’ Stede says, helping him untie the mooring lines back at the dock. ‘Thank you so much for introducing me to everyone.’

‘C’mon and sit with me,’ Ed says, hauling himself up to the wheel, and of course Stede comes, because where else would he have even considered sitting? 

But that joy-sorrow is back, this feeling like a bruise that he’s been trying to ignore since he felt it last month, and has felt every time Ed sends him a text or gives him a call. Ed puts a hand on Stede’s arm and steers with the other and the warmth of Ed’s hand makes Stede shiver despite the warmth of the day. 

‘Thanks for spending your day that way,’ Ed says. ‘We’ll do, I dunno, some kind of sight seeing you like next time, how about that?’

‘Ed, truly,’ Stede says, anxious that Ed understands him, ‘that was really, really lovely. I wouldn’t have wanted to spend it any other way.’

Ed looks over at him, a soft smile on his face, then looks quickly back out at the water. The sun is starting to lower itself in the western sky behind them and everything is sparkling. They move across the water in silence while Stede scans for seals and tries to probe that feeling, that strange feeling, that makes his stomach churn and his chest feel tight and - 

‘Hey, so, I wanted to tell you something.’

Stede glances at Ed. Ed’s hand tightens on Stede’s arm, just for a second, and then Ed removes it so both hands are on the wheel. They are just pulling into the little cove where he usually anchors.

‘You can tell me anything, Ed,’ Stede says, truthfully. 

Ed exhales through his nose. He’s looking straight ahead - good thing for steering the boat, that - as he says, ‘So remember the whole thing with the manager at the restaurant?’

‘Of course,’ Stede says. 

‘Did you know why he didn’t want me there?’

Stede hesitates. He’s got a theory, but he’s not quite sure how to say it. ‘Um,’ he says. ‘Well. I thought he was maybe being racist?’

Ed jerks his head around to stare at Stede. ‘What?’

Stede winces. ‘Just - sorry - I thought -’

Ed starts laughing. ‘Oh my god,’ he says. ‘Stede, that’s amazing.’ 

Stede frowns, completely wrongfooted. ‘Is it?’

‘I mean,’ Ed says, grinning, ‘I appreciate how you reacted, knowing you thought that.’

Stede shrugs, embarrassed. ‘Truthfully,’ he admits, ‘I didn’t think that at the time. I could just tell he was saying something nasty to you, and I thought fuck that guy . I only thought about why he might have been later.’

Ed’s hand comes back to Stede’s arm and squeezes once. ‘Thanks, man. Really. But you’ve never - never googled me?’

Stede frowns. Sudden visions of Kiwi celebrities on Kiwi game shows appear in his mind. Ed is remarkably handsome. ‘Are you famous?’

‘Uh,’ Ed says. ‘Yeah. Kind of.’

Stede waits a beat, and when Ed isn’t forthcoming, he pulls out his phone. 

‘Hey hey hey, wait,’ Ed says. ‘Let me explain.’

‘Oh my god,’ Stede says, ‘are you a pornographic actor?’

Ed mouths silently for a second before saying, ‘Stede, I’m - I’m kind of known for being - well - I’m a famous criminal.’ He hesitates. ‘Famous exonerated criminal.’

Stede’s brain needs several seconds to process that. ‘Criminal?’ he manages to repeat.

‘Famous one, yep.’

‘Exonerated, I heard,’ Stede says lightly, thinking it’s a joke. 

‘Yeah,’ Ed says. ‘They didn’t have enough evidence to tie me to it. But.’ He swallows and the hand on Stede’s arm tightens and doesn’t let go. ‘I did do it.’ 

‘Do what?’ Stede asks, curious. 

‘Smuggling. Drug running.’ Ed hesitates. ‘One murder.’ 

Stede’s not at all sure what to say to that. Ed’s stopped the boat and is watching him with big eyes. Stede asks, thinking of his own troubles in life, ‘Did the guy deserve it?’

‘I don’t know,’ Ed says quietly. ‘I thought so at the time.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘He was my father.’ He takes another deep breath. ‘I was thirteen. No one really figured it out, but they knew something was suspicious, so I got placed in care anyway. Bounced around between homes until I was eighteen, then got the hell out, joined up with a smuggling gang, took it over, and did that for years and years.’ 

Logically, Stede hears the words Ed is saying, and understands that Ed is confessing some incredibly serious things to him, but he also hears a scared kid underneath it. ‘What happened?’ he asks softly. ‘How did you get - get arrested?’

‘Stupid thing,’ Ed says. ‘Had a friend who got in too deep. Izzy. I tried to help him out of a bad situation and got caught. We both managed to get out of it but the trial was hugely public and a lot of people believe we’re guilty.’ He runs a hand over his face and exhales shakily. ‘Until last month, I hadn’t been out to eat in - god, I don’t know how long. I didn’t think anyone would recognise me - I used to have this big black beard when all the trial stuff was going down - but I guess that manager did, even though I tried to pay in cash so he wouldn’t see my name on a credit card.’ His voice breaks as he adds, ‘Fuck, Stede. I should have told you.’

‘No,’ Stede says softly, and puts a hand onto Ed’s shoulder. Ed tips his head down so his cheek rests against the back of Stede’s hand and Stede tips his own head close and rests it on the top of Ed’s head. ‘It’s your past,’ he says. ‘Your past is your own business, Ed. To tell me about or not.’

They sit that way for a long time while the sea laps gently against the side of the stopped boat. Stede can feel Ed’s breathing stay fast, like he’s trying not to cry, so after several minutes, Stede thinks, fuck it , and says, ‘I killed a guy once too, by the way.’

Ed sits up so fast he smacks their heads together. ‘Sorry what?’

‘Yeah,’ Stede says. He takes a very deep breath. He’s never told anyone this, but Ed has some quality that makes Stede want to start talking and never stop. ‘I’ve never, uh, discussed this with anyone, so I might not tell it well. But. I accidentally killed a guy.’

Ed’s eyebrows are raised. ‘Go on.’

‘Remember that chipped tooth?’

‘The one that proves you’re not a clone?’

Stede nods. 

‘Yeah, obviously, you’re brilliant.’

Stede takes a deep breath. ‘So, when I was a kid, I wasn’t very, uh, popular.’ 

‘What? Why not?’

Stede shrugs. ‘Oh, you know. The usual. All the boys decided I was gay because they didn’t like me and that was that for twelve years.’

Ed’s face is suddenly fierce. ‘Fuckers,’ he snaps. 

‘Anyway,’ Stede says, not really wanting to litigate that whole thing with either Ed or himself at the present moment, ‘there was one king among the bullies. Nigel. I loathed him. He threw the rock that chipped my tooth. After school, I hoped I’d never see him again. But about a year ago, I ran into him at a work event.’ Stede shudders, remembering Nigel calling him a stupid childhood nickname across a crowded room, and the way everyone had stared at Stede afterwards like he was a particularly disgusting bug. 

‘Fuck,’ Ed says, sounding heartfelt. 

‘It was this charity golf game,’ Stede says, the words suddenly spilling out of his mouth. ‘I hate golf. An absolute waste of a day outside, and an absolute waste of nature. I’m not good at it, I don’t enjoy it, and a lot of other men can sense that about me like blood in the water, you know?’

‘Yeah,’ Ed says quietly. His hand has found its way to Stede’s back and is resting lightly against Stede’s waist; Stede, who is not used to being touched with fondness or anything else really is finding it almost pathetically soothing. 

‘So of course I wasn’t doing well, and Nigel kept poking fun at me. He just would not leave well enough alone. We were drinking and I got this idea to -’ Stede winces - ‘to fuck with his golf cart.’ 

‘Oh, fuck yes,’ Ed breathes. 

‘I thought I punctured one of his tyres when no one was looking, but the next hole, he was able to drive off just fine, so I concluded that I must have done it wrong.’ Stede swallows. The next few minutes of this story will be etched in his head until he dies. ‘The tyre punctured after he’d gotten in and started driving. And I mentioned we were drinking. Well, he was driving a little, uh, a little recklessly. The puncture tipped the golf cart into a sand hazard and he hit his head on a sharp rock.’ Stede swallows again. ‘Died instantly.’ He glances at Ed, trying to gauge his reaction. 

Ed’s face is utterly shocked. ‘Jesus, Stede, that must have been really fucking traumatic for you,’ he says. 

Stede stops. No one’s ever really thought about him in all this before, mainly because, well, no one’s ever known that he punctured the tyre before. 

‘It - it was,’ he admits. Ed wraps his arms around Stede’s shoulders and tugs him close. Stede puts his hands up to rest on Ed’s arms and leans into the other man. For several moments they just breathe together. 

Stede’s phone buzzes. Half hour warning. 

***

‘- oh shit I forgot to change out of your -’ Stede stops talking and looks at the tech. It’s the same one as last night, an inscrutable and bald Scotsman who has several white feathers stuck in his hair. 

‘Fuck,’ Stede says, and bursts into tears. 

***

Sorry I stole your clothes

Didn’t steal em. Borrowed em. 

Just bring em back next time.

You make it home?

Back in my flat

Yeah

Ed sends him a video of the sunset over the water from his boat.

Stede starts crying again.

***

‘Hey,’ Ed says, voice warm and close on the phone despite the thousands of miles that separate them. 

‘Hey,’ Stede says. It’s the next morning for him, the next night for Ed. Stede’s face is swollen from crying and he has a hell of a headache. 

‘Just, uh, wanted to say hi,’ Ed says. He sounds a little nasal. ‘Before I go to bed.’

‘Are you getting a cold?’ Stede frets. ‘I hope I didn’t give you something. My kids are perpetually coming down with something from school.’

‘No, no,’ Ed says. ‘Just feeling a little down, that’s all.’

Stede’s instantly worried. ‘What’s wrong?’

There’s a long pause. Then Ed says, ‘Well, I mean, I like seeing you, Stede. And now I don’t get to for - for a while.’

Stede shuts his eyes, which are already prickling again with tears. ‘I feel the same way, Ed.’

***

Hey just fyi, I don’t do the stuff we talked about any more. I quit after the trial. Didn’t want that life anymore. 

I wouldn’t care if you hadn’t, but I’m glad to hear you made a positive choice for yourself. 

But. That’s why I’m kind of a recluse.

And that’s why I can’t teleport. I’m on a no-teleportation list.

That exists?

I checked.

Fuck. 

It’s tough for me to fly too. I always, ALWAYS get pulled aside at the airport and it freaks me out. So. There’s that.

Well I’m very happy to travel to you.

You’re so great, Stede

So are you, Ed

***

You having fun with your kids today?

Yep, we’re currently eating some ice cream

I checked your weather and isn’t it snowing?

Lightly. Just lightly. 

Ice cream might even taste better in the snow.

Send me a video of the snow. I’ve only seen it snow like three times in my life.

Hang on a minute… 

[video]

Oh my god you’re ice skating while eating ice cream?? 

LOOK AT YOUR RED NOSE

YOU’RE GOING TO CATCH YOUR DEATH

I can’t possibly die today.

I’m seeing you next week.

***

Alma got you a present at the holiday market today.

Stede’s phone rings. 

‘Hi Ed. Isn’t it three in the morning there?’’

‘Yes. But are you for real? Your daughter got me a present?’

‘Why are you awake?’

Ed sighs deeply down the line. ‘Sometimes I get insomnia, ok? Like, a lot of the time. I’m actually not great at sleeping.’

For some reason, it hurts Stede that he didn’t know that. ‘I’m sorry to hear that, Ed.’

‘Sure, fine, but what did she get me?’ 

Stede smiles. ‘You’ll just have to wait and see. And you shouldn’t be looking at your phone if you’re trying to go to sleep. The light’s bad for you.’ Ed sighs again, dramatically, long-sufferingly, and Stede wishes so hard that he could see Ed’s face right now that it feels like a spike of pain under his ribs. ‘But, uh, hey,’ he says, wondering if this is going to be too weird - 

‘What?’

‘Send me a selfie before you do, ok?’

There’s a little silence on the line. Then Ed says, voice quiet, ‘Okay.’ 

He sends Stede a photo a minute later of himself lying on his side in the bed in his cabin, the phone obviously propped against a wall and a little crooked, Ed’s eyes heavy with sleep and hair tangled everywhere. Stede saves it and adds it to the folder in his photos called, ‘Teleportation with Ed’. He texts back, Lovely to see your face x

You too x

***

Hey you like nature, right?

Yeah

What do you like to do in nature?

Stede thinks. Hike. See flora and fauna. That kind of thing.

Excellent. See you tomorrow x

I’m just going to keep texting you for the rest of my night, you know

And I’m going to keep texting you until I see you, you know

X

X

X

Damn autocapitalisation

***

‘What’s my gift?’ Ed’s asking before Stede’s got his hiking booted feet under him properly. Ed springs forward and catches Stede’s arm. 

Stede thinks Ed’s going for a hug and thinks oh thank god we can hug again and wraps his arms around Ed’s neck. 

There’s a moment before Ed’s arms come up to circle Stede’s waist. 

‘Um, were you not trying to hug me?’

‘I was trying to catch you. But now I’m trying to hug you.’

Stede laughs and squeezes Ed more tightly. ‘Succeeding, I think.’

‘Mm,’ Ed says, and puts his nose into Stede’s ear, nuzzling like a dog. ‘Let me try a little more.’

Stede laughs again. He feels so light, so fucking light, he’s here, Ed’s here, the day is perfect , and they’ve got hours and hours stretching out in front of them. 

Eight hours. 

Well, seven and some now.

He lets go of Ed and steps back. ‘Do you want your gift now?’

Ed nods vigorously and holds out his hands. ‘Gimme gimme gimme.’

Stede opens his outfit-coordinated hiking backpack and pulls out the carefully wrapped present from Alma. The wrapping paper features a lot of snowmen. ‘I told Alma you didn’t celebrate Christmas, so she tried to choose the most, uh, non-denominational of the wrapping paper.’

Ed looks so delighted that it makes Stede want to kick his feet with joy. He takes the package from Stede and says, ‘Can I tear it?’

‘However you want to open it. But - wait -’ Stede pulls out his phone. ‘I promised Alma a video of you opening it.’

Ed looks suddenly embarrassed. ‘Really? Your kid wants to - that’s -’ He stops, restarts. ‘That’s really, like really nice.’

‘Oh, she and Louis are very interested in you,’ Stede says with a smile. ‘They’ve heard me talk about you enough.’ He holds up the phone, ready to press the camera button. ‘Ready?’

Ed tears into it with surprising gentleness, carefully folding up the paper and putting it in the pocket of his shorts and then unwrapping the tissue paper and revealing - ‘Oh my god, a captain’s hat!’

‘Because of your boat!’ Stede says, unable to stop grinning. 

‘Aww,’ Ed says.

Stede sees that this silly little gift is deeply meaningful to Ed, like maybe Ed is about to start crying. To give him a moment, he softens his smile and spins the camera to himself to say to Alma, ‘He loves it!’

‘I do,’ Ed confirms. He plops it on his head and walks behind Stede to wave at the camera. ‘Thank you, Alma.’ 

***

Ed takes him on a hike. In true nature, not the gentle hills of England. There’s a volcanic cone and everything. It’s hot and humid and Stede didn’t quite dress right for it and Ed definitely didn’t (he’s wearing sandals, for one thing) and there’s a lot of bugs. But. 

Stede is having the time of his life. ‘Oh my god what’s that?’ he asks, pointing to the millionth unfamiliar thing, and Ed dutifully pulls out the relevant guidebook (he’s carrying a stack of them in a canvas tote bag) and starts flipping through it. ‘I think it’s a… Weka?’ 

‘Oh my god,’ Stede repeats, trying to snap a photo of it. Blurry. He should have bought a camera. 

‘According to this, “The weka is a large, brown flightless bird that has a famously feisty and curious personality.”’ Ed looks up, frowning. ‘That seems a little inappropriate. To just decide that every one of these birds has the same personality.’

‘Agreed,’ Stede says. ‘What if they’re depressed sometimes? Don’t have the energy to get up and be feisty and curious?’

‘Depressed wekas are still valid.’

‘Ooh, Ed, what’s that?’

Ed pulls out the flower guidebook. ‘Um. Oh, actually I know that one. That’s the national flower. Pohutukawa. Grows on trees. Like it is here.’

Stede steps close to the red flower and inhales. ‘Oh, Ed, it smells like honey,’ he enthuses, and Ed steps close and smells it too. 

‘Very nice,’ he says. 

Stede looks at Ed and sees - well, maybe not the happiest of Eds. He looks sweaty, and - something else. Stede frowns. 

‘What?’ Ed asks.

‘What yourself?’ Stede replies. ‘Is it too hot? Should we go back?’ He reaches into his backpack and offers Ed his water bottle. ‘Here, have some of this.’

‘Nah, mate, I’m fine,’ Ed says. ‘Just humid out here, that’s all.’ 

He resumes looking slightly off to Stede’s eyes. 

Anxiety starts to build in Stede’s stomach. ‘Is this boring?’ he asks nervously. ‘We could go do something else.’

‘Not boring,’ Ed says. ‘Also, it was my idea. Stede, what’s wrong?’

‘You just look - you look like you’re not having fun.’ 

‘Sorry.’

‘Don’t apologise. It’s me. I know I’m being too much with being so into all these flowers and -’

‘Stede,’ Ed says gently, and puts an arm around Stede’s shoulders, pulling him in close and touching their foreheads together. Stede calms instantly, despite the sweat. ‘I promise you, I am having a brilliant day. I just -’ Ed swallows. ‘I’m really in my head about how you have to leave again so soon.’

‘Oh,’ Stede says quietly. ‘I - I definitely get that.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘I always try to divide out the time when we’re together so I don’t feel anxious about it. Like, we’re still in the first half of the day. We’ve got more time together remaining today than we’ve already had. You know?’

Ed suddenly pulls Stede into a tight hug. ‘That’s a great idea,’ he says into Stede’s hair. He leans back and gives Stede a long look. Stede looks back at Ed, at his face that is so close he can feel Ed’s breath on his own lips, and that joy-sadness-joy feeling roars through him so hot that he turns away before Ed can read it on his face. 

‘Let’s keep hiking,’ Stede says, trying to cover his own awkwardness. 

‘Okay,’ Ed says quietly. ‘C’mon, the internet said there’s great wildflowers this way.’

Stede follows Ed along the narrow trail. The ground is steep and sharp with volcanic rock, and he has to watch his footing carefully, but he’s so fucking distracted by this feeling, by Ed, by wanting to just - to just be close to Ed. 

My dearest friend , he thinks. My closest, dearest friend. Who I’ve known for a short while and spent around thirty hours with ever . Without conscious thought, he reaches out and brushes his hand along the back of Ed’s arm. Ed stops and looks back at him, eyes darting around Stede’s face before he slips his hand into Stede’s and squeezes. 

‘It’s just,’ Stede tries. ‘I’ve - I’ve never had a friend like you, Ed.’

Ed nods, once, says, ‘Yeah, me either,’ squeezes Stede’s hand again, lets go, and carries on walking. 

***

‘Here,’ Ed says, giggling over his glass of brandy. ‘Try on my new hat.’

Stede plops it on his head and sits up straight as he can. ‘I believe under the Law of the Sea, I am now the rightful owner of this vessel.’

‘Okay,’ Ed says merrily. He flops backwards onto the hard plexiglass of the boat bottom and puts his head in Stede’s lap. He’s quite drunk. 

In fairness, Stede is too. Feeling wild, he reaches down and takes Ed’s hand in his, turning it over so he can look at the tattoos on the back of it. ‘These are amazing,’ he says wonderingly, running his fingers lightly along a snake whose head starts between two of Ed’s knuckles and whose body runs up his arm. 

Ed shivers and rolls onto his stomach. ‘Stede.’

‘What?’

‘You can be captain. Of my boat.’ 

Stede flops down onto his stomach so he’s beside Ed and puts his chin on his crossed arms. ‘But Ed, it’s your boat. How would that work?’

‘Two captains,’ Ed proposes. ‘Whoever’s got the hat on, he’s the captain. At that moment.’

‘Where shall we sail?’

‘Wherever you want, man.’ 

Stede’s phone buzzes. Half hour warning. 

‘Fuuuuuuuuuuck,’ Ed groans, putting his head down on the bottom of the boat. ‘Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.’

Stress gets into Stede’s belly, a living, horrible thing gnawing away at him, counting down each second left here. ‘Why can’t they make it more than eight hours?’ he asks Ed.

‘I read about that,’ Ed says. ‘Something about that’s the safest amount of time you can be away, or something.’ He lifts his head and looks at Stede. ‘I’ll be honest, I didn’t really understand what I read.’

Stede shrugs miserably. ‘I hate it.’

‘Me too.’

They sit in silence for a moment, and then Ed says, in a strange voice, ‘Hey Stede.’

Stede thinks, he’s thought of a way out of this. He’s thought of a way that I can stay. ‘Yeah?’

‘You know that I don’t judge you for liking flowers and nature and shit, right?’

Stede blinks. ‘I - I mean - well.’ He stops. What does he think? ‘It’s just not very, uh.’

‘I mean,’ Ed says. ‘You told me that you used to get bullied at school for it. Because the kids thought you were gay.’

Stede winces. Wow he does not want to be talking about this. ‘Yeah.’

‘So like,’ Ed says, ‘fuck ‘em. Just - fuck ‘em. Because being gay’s awesome.’

Stede cocks his head and looks at Ed, who is looking back at him with those big brown eyes - with a look in them like he’s - 

Like he’s scared. 

‘Are you…?’

‘Yeah.’

‘That’s great,’ Stede gushes. He’s an ally. He’s a great ally. Always has been. He’s always secretly wanted to go to Pride and go to gay bars and just - just be a great ally. ‘I’m happy for you.’

Ed still looks a little scared. Stede barrels on, ‘You know, I kind of - I kind of hope Alma or Louis will be. Gay, that is.’

‘What? Why?’

Stede shrugs, trying to articulate it. ‘I mean, I didn’t really get to - to choose. When I got married. I mean, my ex-wife is a lovely person but our families really pushed us together. I don’t want that for Alma and Louis. I want them to be able to choose who they love. Like, really choose. Whoever it is, whatever their gender, I want them to be able to make that choice and to be sure about it and to feel what love really is like.’

Ed slides his hand very slowly across the bottom of the boat and then flips it palm up and moves it, finger by finger, under Stede’s hand. Stede watches his progress, thrilled at the contact, at the trust and affection Ed always shows him, as Ed slowly, so, so slowly, one by one, interlaces their fingers. 

‘Stede,’ Ed whispers. 

‘Yeah?’

Stede’s phone alarm goes off. 

‘Mother. Fucker.’ Ed drops his head to the boat bottom again. 

‘Five minute warning,’ Stede says dully. He presses his forehead down onto their joined hands and tries to hold in the tears he knows are coming as soon as he gets back to London. 

Ed helps him off the boat and positions him in the sand in their usual spot. Stede takes the captain’s hat off his head and places it back on Ed’s and Ed’s lower lip trembles and Stede says, ‘Ed, you’re my best -’

***

‘Oh hey, you’re the crying guy.’

Stede blinks at the bald teleportation tech. ‘I’m the - the what?’

‘The crying guy,’ he repeats. 

Stede wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. ‘That’s very rude.’

‘No,’ the tech says, eyes widening earnestly, ‘listen, I just heard about you from the other techs, the guy who cries every time he comes back. But crying is healthy! You’re letting out your emotions!’ He smiles encouragingly at Stede. ‘My boyfriend taught me that.’

‘You’ve got a boyfriend?’ Stede asks, instantly jealous. Does everyone get to be gay except for him?

‘Yeah,’ the tech says. He pulls out his phone and shows Stede a photo of himself and a guy in a position that Stede would not personally have chosen to be on a phone lock screen that can be seen in public. ‘Isn’t he cute?’

‘Kind of hard to see his face,’ Stede admits. 

‘You want to come out to Spanish Jackie’s with us tonight? We’re not exclusive.’

Stede blinks at the guy. ‘I’m not -’ he starts, but his brain screeches to a halt and instead he says, ‘Sorry, I’ve got to go talk to my friend.’

***

I mean, it is physically possible for me to fly. Like I could get on a plane to London.

Stede calls Ed. ‘You said it was scary,’ he says sternly. 

‘Yeah,’ Ed says. He still sounds drunk. ‘But I miss you so fucking much.’ 

‘It won’t be that much longer,’ Stede lies. 

‘Just about, uh, thirty more days.’ 

Never misses a trick, that Ed. 

‘Well, when you put it like that.’

‘I just, I’m just saying Stede, I could.’

Stede wants that, he wants it so fucking much, but, ‘I really couldn’t ask you to do that, Ed. If something happened to you -’

‘Yeah,’ Ed says, sounding miserable. 

‘Hey,’ Stede says gently. ‘Want to video chat?’ He’s been thinking about it and they’ve never done it before but he wants it so much and - 

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah.’

Ed’s face appears a moment later. Turns out that in addition to sounding miserable, he also looks miserable. It’s night in Aotearoa and he’s lying on his side in his cabin. ‘Hey,’ he whispers. 

‘Your bed looks so comfy,’ Stede says. ‘Look at all those fluffy pillows.’

Ed smiles. Miserably. ‘Where are you?’

‘Want a tour of my flat?’ Stede asks. 

Ed sniffs. ‘Yeah.’

Stede walks him around it, narrating with as many jokes as he can, really giving him the full tour - 

‘And this is the second cabinet above my sink -’

‘Ooh, different wine glasses there.’

‘Yes, ones with stems.’

‘Fascinating.’ 

He comes to the bedroom last. It is past noon on a Saturday and he’s utterly exhausted from being sort of on Kiwi time, so Stede shows Ed the shower and then lies down backwards on his bed with his head dangling off the foot. He holds the phone upside down. ‘And here,’ he says, ‘is where I sleep.’

‘Upside down?’

‘Not usually.’

‘Show me how you sleep.’

Stede crawls up the length of the bed and pulls down the sheets and duvet. ‘It’s cold here,’ he says. 

‘Yeah,’ Ed says softly. ‘Your bed looks really comfy too, mate.’

Stede is struck by the sudden desire to be in a bed - any bed - falling asleep beside Ed. To be having this conversation in person. Like being a kid again, at a sleepover, or at least what he imagines a sleepover is like when you have a friend to sleep over. Stede lies down on his side too and props the phone up. ‘Hey,’ he whispers.’

‘Hey,’ Ed whispers back.

Stede doesn’t have anything else to say. They lie there, thousands of miles apart, looking at each other on their sides in their respective beds like they’re close enough to touch. Stede puts a finger out and touches the screen, partially obscuring his camera as he traces a line down Ed’s face. He’s never touched Ed’s face. He thinks he’d like to try it. 

‘Stede,’ Ed whispers. ‘I could fly to London. I really could.’

‘Shh,’ Stede whispers back. Ed’s eyes are closing. Stede watches him until he falls asleep, and keeps watching him while he sleeps, until he falls asleep too. 

***

Are you awake?

Yes

Alma and Louis REALLY want to video chat with you while we make pancakes

What did you tell them about me??

That you’re a ninja who killed 20 guys in a street fight

Oh, ok, so the truth and nothing but the truth

And that I really like spending time with you and that I bet you know a lot about making pancakes

Let’s do it

***

Is it pancake morning with the kiddos again?

It sure is! We were just about to call you

***

Ed, are you awake?

Just woke up.

Can Alma call you and ask you for some homework help? 

Is it about ninja stuff or boat stuff?

Boat stuff. 

Word problem. 

She says my algebra’s boring and she bets you can do it better.

She’s right. Give me five to make some tea.

Actually you know what, just call me, I’ll make the tea while we’re talking

***

Hey so uh

Bad news

Stede’s heart stops. Ed doesn’t like him anymore, Ed doesn’t want to be his friend anymore, Ed - 

Ed’s calling. Stede hits video.

‘Hey,’ Ed says. He’s smiling. They’re six days out from Stede being safe to teleport again. 

‘What’s wrong?’ Stede asks, panicked. 

‘I’m sorry,’ Ed says. ‘I know I should have said that better. Listen. I’ve got an old friend who’s going to be in town while you’re here. He wants to crash at the boat. ’

‘Oh,’ Stede says. ‘Should I - should I postpone?’

‘No,’ Ed says, shaking his head vehemently. ‘You definitely should not postpone. I’d love for you to meet him. We met in care when I was a kid. He’s great. A bit of a wild man, but great.’

‘Okay,’ Stede says, heart rate returning to normal. Fishing a little, he says, ‘Well, if you’re sure I won’t be in the way.’

‘No, man, not at all. Jack’s going to be leaving for the airport about halfway through your time here, so you can meet him, and drink some beers, and then he’ll head out, and we’ll have the rest of the hours with just the two of us.’

***

Stede actually hates Ed’s friend, a crass guy with a shitty moustache and an American accent (‘Army brat,’ he explains) who seems intent on making sure that Stede and Ed can’t enjoy each other’s company without Jack’s arms appearing slung over their shoulders, his body inserted between theirs. Stede eventually gives up trying to compete and takes over steering the boat while Ed and Jack play a series of advanced drinking games. 

Stede’s not - fun, is the thing. I’ve never been fun , he thinks, at least not in the right way. Not in the way that a guy like Jack is. 

‘Hey,’ Ed says, putting a hand on Stede’s shoulder. ‘You ok?’

‘Yeah,’ Stede lies. He doesn’t want Ed to worry about it. It’s clear to him how much Ed wants him and Jack to get along and - well, if he’s Ed’s friend, there must be something there. 

‘Ok,’ Ed says. ‘I’m gonna jump in and cool off. You watch out for sharks ok?’

‘Sharks?’ Stede asks, alarmed, but Ed’s already made a running leap off the end of the boat. 

‘Hey man,’ Jack says, ambling up and sitting beside Stede. ‘Ed told me a lot about you.’

Stede wonders - was it good? Did Ed say nice things? Or did he say I’m a bit boring - 

‘You guys fucking?’

Stede almost drops his beer. ‘Uh, no.’

‘Why not? He’s a handsome guy.’ Jack winks at Stede. ‘I should know.’

Stede’s really not sure how to handle this conversation. ‘We - it hasn’t come up.’

Jack snickers. When Stede doesn’t, he frowns. ‘You said “it hasn’t come up” and it made me think of a dick joke -’

‘Yeah,’ Stede says, because he’s not a child. ‘I get it.’

‘Ok, well,’ Jack says. ‘Here’s the thing though. I’m hoping to get Eddie back into the old business. Me and his friend Izzy - you know him? - we’ve got this whole scheme going on in Jakarta, the North Koreans are kind of involved, have you heard that podcast about them hacking Western banking institutions? Anyway, something like that. Would be amazing to have Eddie be in on it. Just like old times. So maybe you could convince him to do it. Hell, you can even help out if you want, be a driver or something. Not even sure we need a car but you are welcome to drive.’

Stede’s horrified. ‘I don’t think that’s something Ed would be interested in,’ he says cautiously. ‘He told me he’s stopped being a part of all that.’

Jack gives Stede a sceptical look. ‘You believe that?’

‘Hey,’ Ed yells. ‘Stede, I told you to watch for sharks!’

Stede leaps up and looks over the edge in terror. ‘What? Ed? Are you ok? I don’t see any -’

‘Just messing with you,’ Ed says lightly, and hauls himself up onto the back of the boat, shaking his hair out with one hand and glistening with seawater. He looks like a statue of a Greek god. 

Something in Stede snaps then, because Ed’s so - he’s so perfect - and he’s making fun of Stede in front of Jack - and sure, that’s exactly the kind of joke Ed would have made with him any other day, but Jack’s here, and that makes it shitty. 

‘I don’t feel very well,’ Stede announces. ‘Headache. The tech warned me that might be a side effect of the teleportation. I’m just going to go lie down in the cabin, all right?’

‘Shit,’ Ed says, all concern and gleaming muscles. ‘You want some ibuprofen?’

Stede shakes his head and steps down into the cabin, closing the door behind him. He slumps onto the bed - there’s not a ton of other surfaces in the cosy space - and puts his face into Ed’s pillow. Which smells like Ed’s hair. 

Is Jack right? Is Ed lying about being out of that life? 

Stede hasn’t thought consciously about Ed standing on that cliff edge too much, but sometimes the vision of him jumping gets into Stede’s nightmares. He’ll teleport in a second too late, and just see Ed fly off the edge. Now Stede shuts his eyes and wills the vision to go away, but the warmth of the cabin and the rocking of the boat and the smell of the pillow and, yes, the beer, all lull him to sleep and he dreams of Ed jumping over and over again in a miserable loop. 

***

‘Stede.’ Ed’s hand is on Stede’s shoulder and he’s shaking him lightly. ‘Stede, are you ok?’

Stede rolls over and looks up at Ed. It’s nighttime and he’s wearing a headlamp that he has pointed at the ceiling, the only light in the place. ‘Ed?’

‘Your phone’s going off,’ Ed says, sounding so unhappy it makes Stede want to scream. ‘Teleportation alarm.’

Stede clutches at Ed’s arm in a panic. ‘Ed, don’t jump off a cliff,’ he says. 

‘What?’ Ed asks, sounding startled. 

‘Sometimes,’ Stede says, ‘I have this nightmare where I arrive too late and I just see you jumping and -’ 

‘Shh,’ Ed says, and crawls right into the bed with Stede, shoving aside the nest of blankets and wrapping his arms around Stede’s shoulders. He tugs Stede until he’s lying with his head on Ed’s chest, and then he strokes Stede’s hair gently. ‘Shh, Stede, really. I wasn’t going to jump.’ He swallows and Stede feels it in his chest. ‘I didn’t like where my life was. But once I got up there, I knew I couldn’t do it.’ 

Stede reaches for Ed’s hand and holds it tightly under his chin. ‘Ok,’ he says, small and miserable. ‘Jack told me he wanted you to, well, to get back into things.’

‘Yeah,’ Ed says, voice suddenly grim. ‘Jack told me that too.’ He sighs. ‘We had a pretty big fight about it after you went into the cabin actually. I wound up telling him to fuck off and stuffing him into a taxi.’ 

‘Oh Ed,’ Stede says, ‘Ed, Ed, I’m so sorry, I’ve wasted the day -’

‘No, fuck,’ Ed says, ‘promise you didn’t. I did. I should have known Jack was going to bring trouble.’ He hesitates and Stede listens to Ed’s heartbeat, runs his fingers around the tattoos on Ed’s knuckles. ‘Stede, can you really look past my - you know, my past? Even if it comes with guys like Jack? Because you know, I’ve got a lot in common with him.’

‘I don’t see it,’ Stede says primly. ‘You’re the best person I’ve ever -’

***

This is the first time Stede’s ever cried from the pain of it. He feels like he’s had a big hook wrapped around his midsection and been yanked .

‘Met what?’ 

Stede looks at the tech. He’s a bored looking guy, young, with remarkable sideburns. ‘Oh my god,’ Stede says, recognising that haircut from the side. ‘You’re the other guy’s boyfriend.’

‘Oh,’ the guy says. ‘You’re Crying Guy.’

Stede’s phone rings. 

‘Stede? Stede? Are you ok?’

Ed sounds absolutely frantic. Stede takes a deep breath and wills himself not to truly break down right here. ‘I’m ok,’ he says. ‘We just - that must have been the second alarm.’ 

‘Yep,’ Ed says. ‘Fuck, Stede, you scared me so much.’

‘What was it like?’ Stede asks, glaring at the tech who is conspicuously listening in and walking out the door. 

‘It fucking sucked, man,’ Ed says, and Stede realises that Ed’s crying, which sets him off too. He has to pause and lean back against a wall, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down. ‘You were - you were - I had my arms around you - I could smell your hair - and then there was just this kind of smoky smell and I was just -’ Ed’s breath hitches. ‘I was alone.’

Stede sinks down to the ground. It is raining, and it is mid-morning, and he is so, so unhappy. ‘Ed,’ he says. He tries to gulp in air, tries to stop crying long enough to ask the thing he’s been dreading to ask, manages to get out, ‘I didn’t ruin it, did I? Can I come back next month?’

‘What?’ Ed asks. ‘Of fucking course you can come back. I want you to come back right fucking now, Stede.’ Stede hears Ed take in a wet breath. ‘God, Stede, please. I feel like I fucked it up.’ 

‘No,’ Stede whispers. ‘No, Ed, you could never. Did you hear what I said?’ A bus goes by and splashes dirty water on Stede’s feet. Stede waits until it’s gone, until it’s about as quiet as London can get, and says, ‘I said you’re the best person I’ve ever met.’

***

Did you hear the news

Stede wakes up to the message. Looks at the calendar he keeps on his bedside table. Crosses off a day there, even though this is information he knows by heart too. 

Three days. Three days until he can see Ed again. 

What news?

He picks up his iPad and starts scanning the headlines just as Ed calls him. 

Ed sounds like a man being led to the gallows. ‘They’re suspending the teleportation service.’

‘ What ?’ Stede gasps. 

‘Yeah,’ Ed says. ‘Effective in five days.’ 

‘Oh thank god,’ Stede breathes. ‘Okay. I can come to you this week still.’

‘Yeah,’ Ed says. ‘But not - not after that.’

Stede’s got about fifteen flight alerts set up, and a whole spreadsheet about how much time he can spend if he flies to Auckland every month and not completely fuck up both seeing his kids and the business of his firm. ‘We’re going to figure it out,’ he says to Ed, and clicks the ‘share’ button at the top of the spreadsheet. ‘I mean, maybe it’ll be for the best,’ he says, trying to put on his bravest face. 

‘Yeah, man,’ Ed says. ‘Thirty hours of flight time one way for $3000 bucks sounds fucking great.’

‘Ah,’ Stede says. ‘So you’ve researched this too.’

There’s a little silence on the line and then Ed says, ‘Yes, I have researched this too, Stede.’

‘Great,’ Stede says so brightly that he feels like shattered glass. ‘I’m going to get so many frequent flyer miles!’ 

***

‘Disgraced inventors Oluwande Boodhari and Jim Jimenez join us from outside of a Palo Alto courthouse, where a joint venture of Apple and Lockheed Martin has successfully sued to take control over all teleportation technology for strategic defence purposes. Oluwande, how do you feel about the case they brought against you?’

‘It’s absolutely unfair, is what it is. They are stealing our patent using high priced lawyers so they can restrict teleportation to only the wealthiest people and the military.’

‘Wow, quite the accusation!’

‘I mean, it’s not an accusation, is it? You all just watched this play out in court.’

‘What do you have to say to the reasonable concerns that this technology is allowing illegal immigration?’

‘What? Those concerns aren’t reasonable. Teleportation only lasts for eight hours. That doesn’t make any sense.’

‘And yet Texas Senator Ted Cruz said in a speech on the US Senate Floor Friday that it was true.’

‘I mean… what… how is that an argument? That makes no sense.’

‘What about the claims that this technology kills you and makes you a clone?’

‘Not true.’

‘And the rumour that your business partner, Jim Jimenez, brought a knife into the courtroom and used it to intimidate the prosecution?’

‘That’s… that’s a little bit true.’

***

Stede lands on the beach. He’s wearing Ed’s t-shirt, stolen all those months ago, and a pair of slim-fitting shorts. He didn’t bring anything else. 

Ed climbs off the dock and crosses the sand in a few quick steps even as Stede is stepping towards him. Ed throws his arms around Stede and Stede shuts his eyes and buries his face in Ed’s hair and clings onto him. 

Eight hours. That’s all they have.

***

The weather isn’t great; there’s a storm blowing in, and Ed had warned Stede before he arrived that they would probably just need to stay anchored in the cove. Together, they affix the broad strips of canvas and plastic that form a rainguard over most of the boat’s living space and then they sit on the floor in the back of the boat, leaning against a bench, thighs and sides touching. Ed takes Stede’s hand and holds it tightly on his lap. Stede feels beyond words, beyond even emotions, aside from a trembling in his chest that feels like a frantic bird trapped in a glass house. 

‘Stede,’ Ed says finally. ‘Listen. I saw the spreadsheet. I think it’ll work. We can alternate. You come one month, I’ll come one month.’ 

‘It was a stupid idea,’ Stede says. 

‘It’s not,’ Ed says. ‘Promise. Stede.’ He pauses. ‘And it’s the best one we have.’

Stede swallows thickly. ‘At least that way we’ll have longer than eight hours,’ he says. 

‘Exactly,’ Ed says, sounding relieved. 

‘Is this - is this an absurd idea?’ Stede asks Ed. ‘Am I being too much? Am I - Ed -’ He doesn’t know how to ask, what do I mean to you? Who am I to you? without sounding like the most pathetic man alive. 

‘This is what I want,’ Ed says firmly. ‘I want this, Stede.’ He raises their joined hands and kisses Stede’s knuckles. ‘Is this what you want?’

‘Yes,’ Stede says instantly. ‘Yes, Ed, this is what I want.’ But what IS this? 

‘You make me happy, Stede,’ Ed says softly. ‘You make me so fucking happy.’

‘I feel the same,’ Stede says. ‘No one makes me feel like you. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I want to spend every second with you.’

Ed clears his throat. ‘Stede.’

‘Too much?’ Stede whispers. 

‘Fuck, no, I want that too. But.’ Ed takes a deep breath. Stede looks over at his lovely face and sees that he’s staring at their feet. ‘But Stede.’

‘What?’

‘I don’t want to just be your friend.’

Stede blinks. Ed looks at him.

His eyes are blazing as he leans over and kisses Stede on the mouth. 

The little bird in Stede’s chest breaks free, shatters its way right out of his body and rockets into the sky. He grabs for Ed and kisses him back and kisses him back and tries to keep kissing him back even when Ed laughs against his lips and says, ‘Oh, Stede, fucking hell, Stede.’

‘Holy shit, Ed,’ Stede says, and drags him back in for another kiss. 

‘You wanna?’ Ed asks, hands suddenly on Stede’s t-shirt. 

‘Wanna what?’ Stede pants into Ed’s mouth. 

‘We could just, uh, go to the cabin,’ Ed suggests. His hands slide up under Stede’s t-shirt, hot and heavy. Stede shivers with his full body. ‘Getting kinda stormy and cold out here.’

‘Yeah, ok,’ Stede says, barely registering, shoving Ed down onto his back and straddling him. 

‘Oh holy fuck, Stede,’ Ed gasps, arching up into Stede’s leg. 

Ed’s hard, oh god, he’s so hard, and Stede has never been so turned on in his life. 

‘Yeah,’ Stede agrees, sucking on Ed’s lower lip before running his tongue along it. 

‘Cabin,’ Ed moans. ‘Bed. Please. I’m an old man. Take pity on me. This is going to kill my back.’

‘Here, you get on top,’ Stede suggests. ‘I just - I don’t want to stop.’

Ed leans back and gives Stede a long look. ‘You want me on top?’

‘For your back.’

Ed’s mouth twitches. ‘C’mon,’ he says. ‘Cabin. Now.’

Stede grabs Ed’s hand and they slide down the stairs into the cabin in slow motion, pulling each other’s clothing off, groping and kissing as they go. 

‘I’m clean,’ Ed says to Stede on the bottom step. He’s in Stede’s lap, naked, and has been sucking on his neck while Stede grips Ed’s ass and moans. ‘Just - so you know. Got tested a while ago, haven’t done anything since.’

Stede blinks. ‘I’m uh,’ he says, ‘I haven’t had sex in a long time. And only then with my ex.’

Ed takes a deep breath. ‘Great, so, think we’re ok to not use a condom?’

Stede looks at him. ‘A condom?’ he repeats, a little blank as his mind fills with a sudden world of possibilities. 

Ed nods. ‘I mean. If you want. We can definitely use one. Totally up to you, man. I just - I dunno. We’re apart so much. I want you to be as close to me as,’ he ducks his head into Stede’s neck, ‘as it’s possible to be.’

Stede inhales sharply. ‘I want that too.’ He hesitates. ‘Can you be a bit more specific about the, uh, logistics of what you want? Being clear here that I want whatever you want.’

Ed looks up at him with big eyes. ‘I want you to fuck me.’

Stede’s body takes over from his mind, which, thank god, because at least it seems to know what to do, and his mind’s completely useless. Stede runs his hands up Ed’s sides. Ed shivers and whimpers into Stede’s neck, and Stede realises that Ed really -

Fuck, Ed really likes him. Ed’s attracted to him. When he touches Ed, Ed wants it, wants more, wants to be as close to him as it is possible to be. 

It’s not a feeling Stede’s ever had before. Ed’s - 

‘Oh,’ Stede breathes into Ed’s hair. ‘You’re perfect.’

‘I am?’ Ed asks, voice small. 

‘Yes.’ Stede reaches forward, opens the cabin door, and follows Ed into the bed. 

***

Time has always been their enemy, but Stede forgets it exists in Ed’s bed. Ed shows Stede how he likes to be touched, how he likes to be opened up, and Stede spends what feels like years pleasuring Ed with his fingers, lying with his head on Ed’s thigh, while Ed moans and writhes beneath him. He loves Ed’s strong legs and how they wrap around his shoulders; loves to run his hand up Ed’s thighs and feel the thick hair of them, how it softens into his inner thighs; how it tastes when he moves from Ed’s knee up to his hip, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses. He keeps two fingers inside of Ed the entire time, even as he pushes himself up to keep mouthing at Ed’s hipbone, then the trail of dark hair along his stomach, up to his nipples - 

‘Stede, fuck , please just fucking - just - please -’ 

‘What?’ Stede murmurs against Ed’s chest. He bites Ed’s nipple and Ed clutches his shoulders and keens. ‘Oh, darling,’ Stede breathes into Ed’s chest, utterly enchanted by the intensity of Ed’s reactions, by the dreamlike atmosphere of the cabin as rain beats against the windows and the boat rocks in the storm. 

‘I’m ready for you,’ Ed pants. ‘Please, I’m so ready for you, Stede, please …’ 

Stede leans back. ‘Like this?’ he asks and Ed nods. 

‘I’ll wrap my legs around you,’ he says, grabbing a pillow and shoving it under his hips. 

‘Ed, fuck,’ Stede breathes, looking at the beautiful man spread out below him. ‘This is real, right?’

Ed reaches up and cups Stede’s cheek. ‘Yes. Here, come up here -’ He tugs on Stede’s arms until Stede straddles his chest, and then he scoots forward until he can take Stede’s cock in his mouth. Stede grabs for the wall and gasps, ‘Ed!’

Ed sucks enthusiastically on his dick, his cheeks hollow, his tongue pressed underneath the head, and Stede suddenly feels his orgasm rushing towards him and presses a hand into Ed’s shoulder. Ed looks up at him, mouth full of Stede’s dick, and that’s such a fucking sight , Stede has to take a few deep breaths. 

‘Stop,’ he says. ‘I want - I want to give you - what you asked for.’

Ed stops instantly and reaches for Stede’s hips. Stede slicks more lube on himself - he wants this to feel perfect for Ed - and then Ed says, ‘Can I?’ and puts his hand around Stede’s cock, positioning him, so that when Stede presses inside Ed’s body they are moving together. 

They get into a rhythm with the boat’s waves, Ed clutching at Stede’s ass to drag him in harder and Stede trying his best to move in such a way that it makes Ed clutch his ass harder. Stede’s absolutely going to have finger-shaped bruises tomorrow, and that’s such a hot fucking thought that he slams into Ed harder just as a wave moves them the same way - Ed reaches between them to stroke himself and in two quick tugs is coming all over their stomachs - and the feeling of it, the feeling of all of it, of the sea around them and the closeness of the cabin and above all Ed, Ed’s body his home, Ed’s body the only place Stede has ever belonged in this world - 

Stede comes in waves too, while Ed holds him tightly, with his forehead pressed into Ed’s chest and his hands clutched around Ed’s biceps like they can somehow anchor him in place. After several shaky minutes, he gently disengages and rolls to the side. 

‘Wow,’ he whispers, looking up at the cabin’s low ceiling. 

‘Fuck,’ Ed concurs beside him. 

‘I’ve - god - Ed,’ Stede stops and tries to collect himself. Ed rolls into him and looks at him with those enormous eyes. ‘Ed,’ Stede repeats. 

‘Mm,’ Ed leans forward and kisses him. 

‘Ed?’ 

‘Yeah?’

‘Do you think I’m too old to be having a crisis about my sexuality?’

‘Are you having one?’

‘Did we just have gay sex?’

‘Uh. Yeah.’

‘Ed, I’m gay.’

Ed starts giggling and puts his face into Stede’s neck. ‘Turned you with the power of my dick.’ 

Stede hesitates. Is that what happened? Is that - does he like dicks now? Did he ever like - did he ever like anything else? Or did he just listen to everyone else about what he was supposed to like and oh fuck oh god oh holy fucking shit -

‘Hey,’ Ed says. ‘You ok? It’s probably a lot.’

‘Ed,’ Stede says. ‘I’m so happy.’ 

Ed’s face softens and he snuggles into Stede and says, ‘Me too.’

‘Did you - did you plan to kiss me today?’

Ed nods. ‘Didn’t know things were going to be quite that successful, though.’

‘When did you decide to do it? You didn’t tell me when we were texting.’

Ed bites his lip. ‘Stede, I’ve wanted to kiss you since the day I met you. I almost kissed you when you were leaving the second time - after the restaurant - but you didn’t seem into it so I backed off.’ 

‘Oh my god,’ Stede whispers. ‘Ed. Fuck. We could have been doing this?’

Ed kisses Stede’s nose. ‘Didn’t know what you wanted. Didn’t want to fuck it up. I’d rather be hiking around in the wilderness with you than potentially fucking things up.’

Stede wraps his arms around Ed and hauls him back into his chest, so they are pressed together, front to back, naked and sweaty and it is all Stede wants, all he wants ever in the whole world, to be pressed into Ed like this. He kisses Ed’s neck, moves aside Ed’s hair with a  reverent hand and keeps kissing him and kissing him until he falls asleep.

***

The alarm goes. Half an hour. It’s nighttime now. Stede shrinks against Ed, clinging onto him as hard as he can. Ed clings back. 

‘Stede,’ Ed whispers into the darkness. 

‘Yeah?’

Ed swallows. ‘We should run away together.’ 

‘What do you mean?’

‘Take the boat. Start new lives. Just - just us. You and me.’

It sounds perfect, it sounds miraculous, it sounds terrifying. 

But fuck, he wants it. 

He wants it so fucking much.

‘I’ll get on a plane tonight,’ he whispers into Ed’s neck. ‘I don’t care what it fucking costs. I’ll be back before you know it.’ 

Ed rolls over and looks at Stede. He looks terrified. ‘Really?’

Stede nods. 

Ed’s face transforms in wild joy. 

***

‘Crying guy!’ 

Stede squints. 

It’s the bald tech and the other one - bald tech’s boyfriend. He’s sitting in bald tech’s lap. 

‘Sorry about your jobs,’ he says to them. 

‘Eh, it’s been pretty boring, to be honest,’ says boyfriend tech. ‘Most people stopped doing it after a few times. I think you might have the world record for most times teleported.’

***

‘Ed?’

‘Hi.’

Stede swallows. He’s not going to cry this time, he’s not going to cry this time, he’s not going to - 

‘Stede, babe, it’s ok.’

‘Babe?’

‘I dunno, just testing out a few pet names, what do you think?’

‘I love it,’ Stede whispers. ‘Are you - do you have a computer? Or iPad or something? So you can look up flights?’

‘There’s one that leaves Heathrow in five hours. You stop in Doha and Adelaide. 27 hours of flight time. I looked and there’s a train that leaves from Paddington Station and if you make it there in the next two hours you should be good.’ 

‘Text me the link to the flight,’ Stede says. ‘I’m just going to pack a bag.’

‘Stede.’ 

Stede pushes his way into his building, half running to the lift. ‘Okay, I have to get my passport, I have to get my -’

‘Stede, hey, listen, I -’

Stede’s phone is suddenly vibrating. He looks at it. He’s getting a call from Mary. 

A person who only calls him about their children. 

Their children. 

In London. Their children who live in London. 

‘Hey, Ed?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Sorry, can I call you right back? I think I need to take this call.’

***

‘Stede?’

‘Hey, Ed,’ Stede says, somehow dry eyed now despite everything. ‘I um. I can’t make that flight. Alma was at school today and she fell out of a tree and hit her head. I’m on my way to A&E to see her.’

‘Fuck, Stede, fuck, is she - do you know -’

‘They’re waiting for an MRI,’ Stede says dully. ‘She hit her head pretty hard but they’re optimistic.’

‘Stede,’ Ed says, sounding utterly helpless.

‘Can you just -’ Stede looks up at the sky like someone up there’s going to help him. Seems unlikely. ‘Can you -’

‘Do you want me to stay on the line?’

‘Yes please.’’

***

Ed. I’m so sorry. I can’t. I have to be there for my kids. 

Yeah man, I get it. 

I really am so, so sorry.

Don’t worry. I get it.

***

Another dull grey London day several weeks later. Stede’s booked a plane trip to Auckland in a month, when Alma will be out of hospital. She’s doing great, the doctor says. Should be perfectly healthy once she’s done with physical therapy.

The Auckland flight is a return trip; he’ll be there for a week. He sends Ed a screenshot and Ed puts a little heart on it and Stede takes one look at the heart and starts sobbing at his desk. 

Maybe he needs therapy or something. He can’t seem to stop fucking crying.

***

I’m not sure I can do this, Stede

And by ‘this’ I mean, not have an end in sight

Not be able to visualise a future together

I’m so sorry

I need us to be in the same place more than just a few hours a month

And I know you can’t be

And those two things are like two big rocks I’m trapped between

I’m so, so sorry Stede

I mi ss you so much

Oh fuck Stede I can’t figure out how to delete these messages and I 100% do not mean them please give me a call when you can

***

Stede’s still trying to decide how to answer the messages he’d woken up to when Mary calls him. He picks it up in a panic - some setback with Alma - but - 

‘Come meet me for a coffee,’ she asks. ‘I’ve got big news.’

Stede spends ten minutes in front of the sink trying to make his eyes look less swollen before he gives up and goes to meet his ex-wife. 

‘Jesus, Stede,’ she says. ‘What’s wrong?’

Stede sits down at the table. ‘That bad, huh?’

‘You look miserable,’ she says. 

Stede looks at her, like really looks at her, for the first time in - a very long time. She looks genuinely concerned. It’s disconcerting. He used to look miserable in their marriage all the time and she’d never said a word then. He must look really miserable now. 

‘I’m,’ he starts. Stops. Wonders if it’s possible to have a medical condition where your tear ducts overproduce. Maybe that’s the trouble here. 

‘You’re?’

‘Sorry, Mary, you’ve got news. You go first.’

Mary takes a deep breath, like she’s steeling herself to say something unpleasant. ‘I won a fellowship. For my art.’

‘Really?’ Stede feels a little spark of happiness. Mary’s very talented. ‘That’s incredible! Congratulations!’ 

‘Yeah,’ she says. ‘It’s three years.’ She pauses. Stede waits, politely, for whatever she’s trying to figure out how to say. ‘It’s in Australia.’

Stede’s heart stops. ‘What?’

‘I know,’ she says. ‘I know, I know. I know.’ She holds up her hands. ‘I know. The kids, the firm, everything. We can work out a schedule -’

‘No,’ Stede says. ‘Mary. What. Australia?’ He starts picturing the map, picturing every city, and its proximity to Auckland. ‘Where?’

‘Adelaide.’

‘Oh my god,’ Stede says. ‘Mary, that’s incredible.’ He reaches across the table and grabs her hand. ‘Mary!’ 

She looks down at their hands. ‘Stede, what’s going on?’

‘What?’

‘I think this might be the first time you’ve ever spontaneously touched me. I just told you I’m moving your children thousands of miles away from you.’

‘I’m selling the firm,’ Stede announces. ‘The kids shouldn’t have to commute between London and Australia, that’s absurd.’

Mary blinks at him. ‘But what will - what will you do?’

‘Mary.’ Stede’s got an idea, a very, very big idea, forming in his chest. ‘Have you ever been in love?’

Mary purses her lips. ‘Glad we’re just going to gloss over fifteen years of our own marriage here,’ she says.

‘I thought we agreed to be honest with each other.’

Mary nods. ‘That we did. So yes. I have been. And I am. I met a brilliant painting instructor recently.’

‘God, Mary, that’s fantastic news.’ Stede means it. He feels like Ebenezer Scrooge on Christmas morning. ‘Don’t do long distance. Make him move to Australia.’

Mary’s mouth twitches. ‘He’s going to, but, Stede -’

‘What?’

She hesitates, then cocks her head and says, ‘Are you in love with Ed?’

Yes. Yes yes yes. ‘Yes,’ he says, nodding vigorously, before - ‘Wait. How do you know who Ed is?’

‘The guy who our kids are obsessed with? Who lives in New Zealand?’

‘Aotearoa.’

‘Right. That place.’

Stede cocks his head. ‘The kids are obsessed?’

‘Alma said he’s helped her with her homework every night she’s been with you lately. When I told Louis where we were moving, he asked if we can go see Ed’s boat.’

Stede beams. ‘Oh, the kids are going to love his boat.’

***

‘Oh thank fuck, Stede, thank you for calling me, I’m so fucking sorry about those texts -’

‘No,’ Stede says earnestly. ‘Ed, really. It’s important to me that you ask for what you need.’

Ed shakes his head. Even through a tiny phone video, he looks absolutely distraught. ‘It’s not - I was just - I was feeling really down, Stede, but I didn’t mean it at all. I promise. I - I want to be with you, no matter how we can swing it, and I get it, I really get it, you’re a good dad, and I wouldn’t want to change that, and, and the kids will go to college, at some point, and maybe then -’

‘Ed,’ Stede says, a little stunned. ‘That’s in like fifteen years.’ 

Ed’s mouth wobbles and he says, ‘I fucking know that, man, but -’

‘Wait,’ Stede says. He’s practically vibrating with excitement and he just wants to tell Ed. ‘Listen to me. I’ve got good news.’

Ed closes his mouth and stares at Stede. 

‘Mary won a fellowship,’ Stede says. ‘A three year artist residency.’ He raises his eyebrows and grins. ‘In Adelaide.’

Ed’s face goes still. ‘Australia?’

Stede nods, biting his lip. 

‘That’s like - that’s only like four hours. And just a couple hundred bucks. That’s -’ Ed gives Stede a hopeful look. ‘That’s so close, Stede.’

Stede nods more. ‘Yeah, and Mary agreed with me that Alma is old enough to watch Louis on a flight that short, and we can go over every few months ourselves and spend a few weeks with them, and -’

‘We?’ Ed asks. ‘Wait -’

Stede is nodding harder, grinning wider. ‘I mean, if you want to, of course.’

‘You’d live in Auckland?’ 

‘Now Mary said I shouldn’t just assume or even ask but that I should let you offer -’

‘You can live with me,’ Ed says in a rush. ‘Yes. Stede. Yes. Come. Here. Live with me. Please.’

‘I’ve got a lot of books and clothes,’ Stede says. ‘We might need to get a storage space.’

‘We’ll get a flat,’ Ed says. ‘I’m sick of having to take a taxi to the grocery store.’

‘Oh, but let’s live on the boat a little bit longer, don’t you think?’

‘We’re not getting rid of the boat,’ Ed says emphatically. ‘We can go sleep there whenever.’ He stops talking for a minute and they just gaze at each other, then Ed exhales and says, ‘Fucking hell, Stede, two minutes ago I thought I broke up with you and now I’m so fucking happy.’ 

‘Wait, you thought you broke up with me?’

‘Yeah, I mean, remember the time I texted you and said I was having a really tough time handling an indefinite long distance relationship?’

Stede hesitates. He’s got a feeling he’s being a bit of an idiot but - Ed won’t mind, will he? ‘Ed?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Are you my boyfriend?’

Ed’s mouth moves for a moment before he says, ‘Uh, do you want me to be your boyfriend?’

‘Do you want to be my boyfriend?’

Ed raises his eyebrows. ‘Yes?’

‘Wow,’ Stede says dreamily. ‘Wow, that’s, that’s just amazing.’

‘Aww,’ Ed says. ‘I mean, truthfully, Auntie and everyone else back home has thought that since we visited them, what, six months ago? And I just, uh, didn’t correct them.’

Stede beams. ‘My boyfriend Ed,’ he tries out. ‘Oh, yes, I love the sound of that.’

‘Hey, Stede, um.’

‘What?’

‘Do you want to, uh, have sex?’

‘Oh yes, I can’t wait.’

‘Sorry, I mean, now? Like, over video?’

‘I’ve never done that before. But - yes. Very much.’

The phone drops onto the bed and there’s a lot of rustling noises before Ed returns with something in his hand. Stede squints at it. 

‘Stede, you should like - get in bed or something. And get naked.’

‘Ok but - what is that ?’

‘Uh, it’s a dildo? And some lube?’

‘It’s - it’s very big.’

‘Yeah, I mean,’ Ed winks, ‘I bought it because it reminds me of you.’

‘You went to a sex shop and picked out a dildo that reminded you of me?’

‘I went online and picked it out, but, yeah.’ Ed grins wickedly. ‘Listen, why do you think I’m so concerned about locking you down, Stede? If I let the wider gay community know about your dick, I’d have to fight them for you.’

Stede blushes. Deeply. ‘Well, that’s uh, that’s… very nice.’

‘C’mon,’ Ed says. ‘Tell me what to do with this thing.’ He rubs it against his ass suggestively. 

‘Oh my god,’ Stede breathes. ‘I am so fucking gay.’

***

Stede finds Spanish Jackie’s on Google Maps. It’s in SoHo. The gays! His people! He spends a few evenings there getting drinks alone while texting Ed before he sees his quarry: a group comes into the bar on a Tuesday night that consists of every teleportation tech Stede has ever seen, including the one from Seville, and a few other people he doesn’t know, and then - 

‘Excuse me? Are you - are you Oluwande Boodhari and Jim Jimenez?’

The two of them look up at him apprehensively. ‘Yes?’ Oluwande asks. 

‘Can I speak with you?’ Stede asks. 

‘It’s ok,’ says the boyfriend tech. ‘He’s Crying Guy.’

‘Oh, this is Crying Guy?’

‘Stede, actually. Stede Bonnet.’

‘Please,’ Oluwande says, scooting over in the booth to make room. ‘Pete and Lucius think you’re the person who used our technology the most.’

‘I met the love of my life with it,’ Stede says earnestly. ‘It’s the most remarkable invention.’

‘Really?’ says Jim, leaning forward. ‘How?’

‘This man -’ 

He points at the Seville tech, who gives a little wave and says, ‘Frenchie! Remember?’

Stede frowns. ‘In Spain?’

‘Lots of French people in Spain.’

‘Are you French?’

‘No.’

‘Anyway, Frenchie here sent me to Auckland when I asked him to send me as far away as possible, and I met the love of my life. Ed. He’s incredible. He lives on a boat and I love him so much.’ Stede consciously reins in his desire to gush about Ed; others in his life have been getting glazed over eyes when he does it too much. ‘I’m moving down there next week.’

‘That’s so romantic. I’m Pete, by the way. Lucius’s boyfriend.’

‘Lovely to meet you properly.’

Pete raises his eyebrows. ‘So, are you guys exclusive, or?’

Stede blinks. ‘What?’

‘That’s great,’ Oluwande interrupts. ‘I’m glad we could make someone happy.’ He looks down at his drink. ‘Honestly, I’ve kind of been regretting the whole thing, so it’s nice to hear someone liked it.’

Stede purses his lips in sympathy. ‘Are you regretting it since it’s probably going to be used to drop drones on people’s heads?’

‘Pretty much.’

‘Well -’ Stede hesitates. ‘You lost all your money in the lawsuit, right?’

‘The money isn’t what matters,’ Jim says fiercely. ‘We want to stop those companies from being able to use the technology for evil.’

Stede cocks his head. ‘Would money help?’

‘Yes,’ Lucius says quickly. 

‘Great,’ Stede says. ‘I actually came looking for you two -’ He points at Pete and Lucius - ‘because I’ve got a lot of money that I need to give away, and I was feeling bad about you losing your jobs, and, well, I wanted to help out some fellow gays, so -’

‘Sorry, what ?’ Pete says. ‘That’s crazy.’

‘Let the crazy man do what he wants,’ Lucius says through clenched teeth. 

‘What if I gave it to you all?’ Stede asks. ‘I need to dissolve my company. My father founded it and I hate it. It’s brought me nothing but unhappiness. I’ve kept some of the family fortune to make sure my children are all right and I can retire, but I want the rest to be used for good.’

The entire table stares at him like he’s lost his mind, except Lucius, who is nodding vigorously. 

Then Jim says, tone very dark, ‘Oh, we’ll use it for good.’

***

https://www.immigration.govt.nz/new-zealand-visas/apply-for-a-visa/tools-and-information/support-family/partnership

“What it means to be in a partnership

You must be able to show us that you and your partner are living together in a genuine and stable relationship before we can grant you a visa based on your partnership.”

Show that to Mary if she’s still judging

We HAVE to live together 

I mean obviously I want to 

But

LEGALLY

We have to

But I would want to even if you didn’t need a visa

A partnership! With my partner Ed!

<3 xxx

***

How’s Doha

Oh, you know. 

Airporty.

Do you know?

I’ve been in an airport before, Stede.

Just not for a long time.

But you’ll be in one soon, right? 

Because you’re coming to pick me up?

Yep. Auntie is driving me. Everything’s all arranged.

Can’t wait xxx

Me either xxx

***

The plane touches down in Adelaide and Stede pulls out his phone and systematically adds a heart to each message Ed has sent him while he was in the air. He reads each of them several times and then catches Mary staring at him. 

‘This behaviour is really something,’ she says. 

‘I think it’s kind of cute,’ Doug says from her other side.

‘Dad,’ Louis says, and crawls into his lap. 

‘I’ve got you, buddy,’ Stede says, giving his son a hug and a kiss on the forehead. His heart feels full to bursting; he’s got a week here in Adelaide, helping the kids get settled in while Mary and Doug find a house, and then he’s off to Auckland and Ed and the rest of his life. 

***

How was the flight?

Fine. The kids have been total champs. 

Did you give them snacks?

What do they like?

No, and candy

Any candy

***

Stede’s still carrying Louis when they exit customs in Adelaide, so it is very startling when his son screams in his ear. 

‘ED!’

‘It’s Ed!’ Alma shrieks. 

Stede looks up as Alma sprints across the airport and wraps her arms around the midsection of a very startled-looking Ed. 

Ed’s wearing his purple jacket and holding a bouquet of red flowers and a huge Cadbury bar in one hand while he returns Alma’s hug with the other. He gives her the Cadbury and gestures with the flowers to Stede like, These are for you.

Stede experiences a second of complete mental meltdown and emerges out the other side thinking don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry -

‘Daaaaad, I want to see Ed!’ 

‘All right, Louis,’ Stede manages, and walks - glides - flies? - the distance between them. Ed’s giving him that same blazing look he had the first time they kissed. 

He embraces Stede one-handed, his fingers curling tightly around Stede’s shoulder like he never means to let go, and says, ‘Hi, Louis.’ 

Louis has become starstruck and peeks at Ed from behind Stede’s ear. 

‘Hi, Ed,’ Stede says for him. 

‘Hi, Stede.’

‘Ed,’ Mary says, walking up with Doug in tow. ‘This is Doug.’ 

‘Nice to meet you,’ Ed says, not making any move to let go of Stede to shake hands. Stede sidles a little closer, fitting himself more tightly against Ed’s body, and Ed squeezes his shoulder. 

‘All right,’ Mary says, as if Ed’s presence is not at all surprising to her. ‘Let’s go to our hotel.’ 

‘How are you here?’ Stede whispers to Ed as they’re walking out to the kerb hand in hand.  

‘Just flew on over,’ Ed says breezily. ‘I told you Auntie was giving me a ride to the airport.’ 

‘Ed.’ Stede tries for stern and comes out somewhere much closer to ecstatic. 

Ed stops walking, tugs Stede around, and kisses him lightly on the lips. ‘Keeping it chaste for the children,’ he murmurs against Stede’s mouth before drawing back. ‘I missed you too much to wait.’

‘And I am so, so glad you felt that way, but I thought you couldn’t fly.’

Ed looks shifty. ‘I, uh, got a job for a week. Bartending. And opened a bank account so I could buy a plane ticket.’ He pauses. ‘In a different name. Also my passport is, uh, a little fictional. A friend made it for me.’

Stede looks at Louis. ‘Do not tell your mother anything he just said.’

***

‘Reports of a massive explosion inside the laboratory that contains the technology powering teleportation - recently purchased by Apple and Lockheed Martin - are coming out today. We go now live to Oxford University, in the United Kingdom. Brian, what do things look like there?’

‘The building is completely destroyed, Laura. The fire is currently burning too hot to even put out, so firefighters are on the scene just trying to keep it contained. Several scientists I spoke with told me that anything inside is likely unrecoverable.’

***

‘What’s your name?’

‘Alma Bonnet. What’s yours?’

‘Frenchie. Now, don’t be scared, Alma. It’s like you blink and you’re there.’

‘I’m not scared. My dad told me all about it.’

‘That’s who you’re going to see in Auckland, right?’

‘Yes. And Ed.’

‘All right, are you ready? Here you go.’