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“You still won’t turn me?” Chan asked softly, panting a bit from the rapid blood loss. He was slightly pouting down at Felix who rested his head in Chan’s lap.
The vampire gave the human a small smile, his bloodied fangs peeking out between his lips. “No, love,” he mumbled, kissing the wrist he had been drinking from. “I won’t. You’re too precious.”
Chan scrunched his brows. “You’re just going to feed off of me then? Until I die of old age?” He had been Felix’s feeder human for years now, and he thought the vampire loved him. He loved Felix, so why couldn’t they spend eternity together?
Felix frowned, “don’t say it like that. Perhaps I’ll turn you before you get old. I just love the taste of you, and I don’t want to lose it, my beautiful pet.” Felix sat up to kiss Chan’s chapped lips softly. He smiled, his lips tinted with the red of Chan’s blood, showing off his elongated fangs. “Allow me to get you some water and a small snack. I may have taken a bit too much this time, but that snack should help a little.”
Chan sighed as he watched Felix leave the room, then looked down at his scarred wrists in his lap. Puncture wounds in both forearms, littering up and down his pale flesh. The newest holes were still trickling crimson, and he covered them with his palm and applied pressure, just as Felix had told him to do. Felix’s fangs administered a blood thinner so it was easier to drink from him, and that meant it took longer for Chan’s blood to clot and for his wounds to heal up. The bleeding slowed a bit by the time Felix returned with a glass of water, a chocolate snack cake, and a first aid kit. The vampire sat down next to him on the bed where Chan leaned up against the headboard, and he smiled when he saw Chan holding his injured wrist like he taught him.
“Here,” Felix gently pulled the hand away from his wrist, moving to cover the holes with a mild disinfectant and bandages. He wouldn’t need to feed properly for another few weeks, so those had time to heal and scar. “Now, let me clean you up?”
Felix held out a hand, waiting patiently for Chan to hand over his bloody one. When the human did so, the vampire leaned down, bringing Chan’s hand up to meet him halfway. He darted his tongue out to lick Chan’s palm, making the human utter a small gasp of surprise. Felix took his time licking up the sweet red fluid stuck to his feeder’s skin before looking up to meet the man’s eyes as he took two of Chan’s fingers into his mouth and began sucking slowly on the digits.
Chan whined, eyelids heavy. “Please, I ca— Felix, I can’t right now.” His head was swimming and his breath became short again as all the remaining blood in his body made a valiant effort to rush down toward his lap.
Felix frowned as he removed the fingers from his mouth. “I’m sorry, love. I wasn’t thinking. How about that snack then?”
Chan nodded tiredly as Felix reached to unwrap the sugary treat for his precious, devoted, loving human. He wouldn’t trade this man for the world. He did love him, but he wasn’t sure Chan deserved to be cursed with immortality or subsisting on blood to survive—even if Chan thought that’s what he wanted. Felix was sure, however, that he needed to explain himself better to the human.
The vampire sighed as he watched Chan nibble on the treat, eyes trained on Felix’s freckled face. The immortal tilted his head, giving the human a sad smile.
“What is it, Lix?” Chan asked in concern, reaching to grasp Felix’s cold hand and hold it in his warm one. He was so full of life and warmth and good…
“You know,” Felix started, “before you found me, I was feeding on livestock.”
Chan smiled slightly. “You’ve told me.”
Felix nodded, looking down at their fingers in his lap. He started to stroke his thumb over Chan’s knuckles with a small sigh, “what I mean is, you deserve better.”
“What do you mean?” Chan asked immediately, scooting forward to be closer to him. “I love being here with you.”
Felix gave him another sad smile, and he could feel tears stinging his eyes. He brushed some curls off of Chan’s forehead delicately. “I know, love, I know. I just mean… I know that you think you want to be… what I am. You want to spend forever together, and I would love that. I love being with you, not just for your blood.”
Chan looked confused.
Felix chuckled, “I love you, and I love you for who and what you are. I love your humanity, and… you’re so full of life and warmth— gods, you are so fucking warm— “ he paused briefly to bring Chan’s hand up to cup his cold cheek, humming in content, “but I don’t want you to become… a cold, undead thing… like me.” He stumbled through his thoughts, finally laying his heart fully out, “I don’t want to curse you to this. I can survive on feeding every three weeks because it’s your blood— not pigs blood or cow blood. Humans have so much more in them for vampires. We are feeding on your humanity, not just your blood.”
Chan still looked lost as Felix continued to ramble.
“What I have to do to survive is utterly disgusting,” Felix said bitterly, icy tears finally rolling down his cheeks. “I don’t like it. I hate that I feed from you, but you are so delicious and warm that I don’t think I could live without you anymore. I’ve been spoiled.”
Chan frowned, bringing his other hand up to cup Felix’s face fully, thumbing away Felix’s tears with gentle caresses. They stared at each other for a bit, just stared. No talking. Just peaceful silence.
Suddenly, Felix’s cheeks were squished together, making his lips go kissy like a goldfish. A giggle of surprise bubbled up from his chest as Chan’s warm hands gently squeezed his face.
The human smiled. “That’s better. I don't like it when you cry, even though you are very pretty when you do.”
Felix sighed, feeling a bit better after Chan lightened his mood. He pushed Chan’s hands off of his cheeks and held them in his lap again. “That’s exactly what I mean, though. The love and laughter you share with me. I don’t want to take that from you. Immortality is not a gift.”
Chan frowned deeply again, “but being with you is. I love you, Felix. Don’t you see? It would all be worth it to never have to be apart from you.”
Felix smiled cheekily, “don’t worry, if you were to die, I’d starve myself to death and join you in silence everlasting, eternal darkness. Doesn’t that sound wonderful?”
Chan gave him a look that said he didn’t find it very funny. “I’m serious, Lix. One day I’ll be old, and you’ll still look young. I won’t be hot and desirable anymore,” he slipped in a little giggle, “I want us to be the same and spend eternity together.”
After a long pause, Felix sighed heavily. “I’ll think about it. Maybe in a few years, while you’re still young and hot,” he rolled his eyes with a fond smile, “I’ll turn you and we can live eternally, together forever. How does that sound?”
Chan grinned brightly. “That’s exactly what I want. Until then, you can feed from me, okay? But this is a promise? You have to turn me before I get old and decrepit.”
Felix giggled, leaning in to kiss Chan’s lips, tasting the sugar on his skin. “I promise. Now, eat your fucking snack and drink your goddamn water, so I can make love to you, my precious little bleeder.”