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Part 1 of The God Parents of Tim Drake
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DCU and MCU Alternate Universes (Marvel), Qqqqqq115, All my favs
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Published:
2023-01-01
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2023-06-11
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9/?
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Mr. Sandman (Dream Me A Dream (BAHM BAHM BUM))

Chapter 9: Fuck Off Ra's No One Likes You

Summary:

Assassin trio! Woo woo! And some prophetic dreams!

Notes:

Dreams vs multiverse. I only decided how that would work recently, so here it is. The multiverse exists. The dream worlds also exist. They are separate things, but Dream plagiarizes sometimes (from both other universes and books. Remember the library with every book ever?). Also a group of ninjas is a hedge according to Google. I find this amusing.

Chapter Text

Tim was 90% sure he was dreaming. That percentage went up to 100 when he started hearing thoughts that both were and weren't his.

 

He watched as he beat up 3 of Ra's' ninjas on a rooftop before they disappeared and left a com on the roof.

 

Well… he could let it play out like that, or, and Loki would be proud of this one, he could scare the shit out of them and not let them disappear. He already knew all their names too!

 


 

"Hey guys!" Tim greeted, as soon as the assassin trio landed. Owens screeched almost as loud as a banshee. "Jeez, Owens!" Loki's partner in not-usually-literal crime laughed. "Weren't you looking for me? Well, congratulations! You found me!"

 

"How the bloody hell did you find us?" Pru asked.

 

"I mean, it wasn't that hard." It technically hadn't been! He just had to go to sleep last night!

 

Z was standing to the side talking into a com.

 

"Yo, Z!" Tim called. "You talking to Ra's?"

 

"Master, he-" Z hissed before stopping. "Yes, of course, Master." He turned to face Tim. "Yes, Timothy. We have been instructed to help you with anything you wish."

 

"Wait, what?"

 

"Like fucking hell."

 

"Oh cool! Come on, I already got you tickets." Tim said before climbing off the rooftop and into his waiting car.

 


 

Ugh, another death dream. At least Tim was pretty sure that's where this was going. They'd been traveling together for a few weeks and Tim was pretty attached.

 

They had just come out of a cave - they found it! They found proof! - Tim was smiling and Z turned toward him.

 

"How do you feel, Timothy Drake?"

 

Tim opened his mouth to reply, but all that came out was a muffled cry as Z slid off the sword that appeared from his chest. Within a second, Owens was choking on his own blood. Pru managed to get a punch in on the man's stomach, but he slit her throat. It didn't seem too deep as to be lethal if helped quickly, but Tim was pulled away from that thought as he fought the man. Tim lasted longer than his friends, but the fight was still quick and ended with a sword between Tim's ribs.

 

"Thank you for your participation." the man said before Tim's vision went black.

 


 

Timothy Drake was a mystery. He knew far too much, was always at least ten steps ahead of Ra's. He was also a shit ton of fun, in Owens' humble opinion.

 

He watched with fascination as Tim, who he was pretty sure was asleep (his eyes were closed and his breathing was even at least), sat up when his phone started playing You Are My Sunshine.

 

"Kon?" the boy asked. There was a pause where it just seemed like Tim was asleep to Owens before Tim said. "Yeah, almost. We're gonna find it tomorrow… I promise I'll be back soo- Don't you dare Kon-El… Sure. Yep, you too. Bye." Then he collapsed and began snoring again like he had never picked up his phone.

 

Yeah, Tim was fucking great.

 


 

Z did not know what to think of Timothy. On the one hand, he was a kid, barely 17. On the other hand, holy shit was the kid creepy.

 

Timothy was looking at the cave wall with wonder and a blinding grin on his face. "I did it." he whispered to herself. "I finally fucking did it!"

 

"He finally fucking smiles." Pru muttered with a smirk.

 

Tim stepped behind Z and, though Z didn't know it at the time, he was counting in his head. What Z did know was that he turned around to see Tim with a knife - since when was there a knife in the boy's bō? - at a man's throat. The man was in a frankly stupid looking costume and had two swords.

 

The vigilante (assassin? Random trained human? Retired hero?) smiled at the man.

 

"Hello, Widower. I win."

 


 

Ra's smiled at Tim when they brought the assassin hunter in, and, nope, that's creepy. Ra's was creepy.

 

"Very good, Detective." the wannabe demon purred. Gross. "Did you know you're the first ones to survive an attack by the Council of Spiders, let alone apprehend one of the assassins?"

 

Tim grit his teeth (fangs) and said, "Couldn't have done it without my team."

 

"You're understanding yourself, Detective."

 

Fuck off, Ra's no one likes you. "You give me too much credit, Ra's, but I digress. So, what comes next?"

 

"I would like to make a deal if you would be amenable to it." Ra's offered. A deal? Tim gestured for Ra's to continue and he did so with an irritating self satisfied smirk."I will help you find the Batman," good start, good start, "As long as you work with me and my league to take the Council of Spiders down."

 

Why wouldn't he take that deal? He would have gone after the Council anyway and the league's resources would be helpful. Sure, he'd have to put up with Ra's for a while, but honestly Ra's was kind of pathetic compared to the actual demons he'd faced. Tim cracked a smile. "You've got a deal, Ra's."

 


 

Tim… Did not really know why he was doing this. He could justify his choice to himself as much as he wanted, but the truth was that he could have gotten Bruce back a month ago on his own. But. Taking down the Council of Spiders with the League was surprisingly fun. He wanted to hang out with Pru, Z, and Owens and be able to talk with Kon, Bart, and Cassie on the phone every night. He wanted to go on missions with the assassins as Chatham Raven.

 

Sure, he wasn't a fan of them killing, but they rarely did it when he was there, and anyway he literally hung out with Death. The gods and goddesses regularly killed people who annoyed them. Batara Kala ate people. He could deal with a little moral ambiguity.

 

"Chath!" Owens called over their comm line. "We've been spotted."

 

Chatham Raven swore and started moving towards his team. He knew it couldn't be too bad or Dream would have shown him, but it still wasn't good.

 

"We can take Sac for now, but there are still civilians in the way." Z said.

 

"Copy." Tim said. "I'll be there in a minute."

 

When he got there, Owens was shooting at Sac, Pru was shooting at the spiders, and Z was cycling between helping civilians, killing spiders, and trying to beat up Sac. The civilians were just standing there. Come on, this isn't Gotham.

 

A girl walked toward the fight, noticed it, and groaned. "Ugh, this isn't Gotham, man." she muttered. Thanks, random Gothamite in the middle of Turkey.

 

Tim dropped down next to her. "I know, right? And the civilians, too! I doubt even half of these people could throw a decent punch; why are they just standing there?"

 

The girl startled, but nodded. "Seriously! I just want to find Drake in peace! Fuck off!"

 

Well, that could be problematic. "Tim Drake?"

 

"Yeah. What do you know about him?" Shit.

 


 

The girl's name was Tamara Fox. Tam for short, and her father had sent her to look for Tim.

 

"You found me." Tim insisted. "You can go back to Gotham." He started walking away. "What are you, no, Tam, don't follow me- don't step- Shit, get out of the way"

 

Tam raised an eyebrow. "Why did you booby trap your hotel room?"

 

Owens knocked on the door and asked,"Hey, uh, boss- Stop hitting me Pru. Well, then you ask him."

 

"Hey, dipshit, we're hungry and our wallets are in the room. Unless you want us to rob someone, let us in." Pru said after a moment of silence that Tim assumed was the two assassins doing rock paper scissors to determine who was going to ask for their wallets.

 

Tim stifled a laugh. "Sure. You can come in."

 

The door opened and Pru and Owens came in. "Why the bloody hell is there a hole in the wall?" demanded Pru.

 

"Yeah, Tim, why is there a hole in the wall?" Tam asked icily.

 

"Because we're fighting deadly assassins, so it's better to have biometric traps then be dead?" Tim tried. "And Tam's biometrics aren't programmed in yet."

 

"It's she going back to Gotham?" Owens asked.

 

Tam started at him. "No." sighed Tim.

 

"So, what," demanded Pru. "She's going to stay with the league for a nice sleepover?"

 

"The league?" questioned the civilian.

 

"Yeah. The League of Assassins." Owens told her while Pru muttered about 'secretive assholes'.

 

Tam whirled around to face Tim who had walked over to a device on the table and was tinkering with it. "Did you become a fucking assassin?"

 

Tim froze. "Um. Not…really?"

 

"Wow, super convincing there, Boss." Z said from the still open door while Pru and Owens cackled. "By the way, you forgot to close the door."

 

Chatham Crow glared at the assassins doing their best hyena impressions.

 

"Oh shit." Pru gasped, suddenly remembering what it had said on the file she'd skimmed through about Tim's training with Lady Shiva.

 


 

"I can't believe that worked!" Tam whisper shrieked in Tim's rooms.

 

Tim himself was beaming. "I know, right!"

 

Pru was cackling again while Owens shushed her. "That was fucking beautiful. This is why… this is why you make our… plans." she gasped.

 

"I am never going to do that shit again, that was fucking terrifying." Tam said solemnly. "But holy shit," she breathed with a grin. "I can't believe they didn't notice. How are you still alive?" she asked Tim. Tim just shrugged, still beaming.

 

"We don't know either." Owens whispered to her from across the room in a manner that suggested he was confiding a secret.

 

"Alright, get me out of here." Tam said as Pru yanked her out of the caterer's cart they had smuggled her inside of.

 

"How are we going to feed her?" asked Z.

 

Owens looked up slowly and blinked. "Not. Our. Problem." he said.

 

Tim snorted. "Easy. Ra's is always telling me I need to eat more. I don't eat more than a quarter of every meal he gives me. Tam can have the rest."

 

"You do eat freakishly little." Pru commented.

 

Tim pouted. "I eat enough."

 

Pru rolled her eyes. "Owens could beat you in an arm wrestling competition. Owens."

 

Owens' head whipped toward her. "Shut up." he hissed. "You've seen him flip guys, like, ten times his size over his shoulder."

 

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure that's his science-magic shit. Look at that arm. There's no way in hell he can beat an assassin, even one as weak as you." Pru said with a scoff.

 

Owens gasped with offense. "Me? Weak? I'll have you know, I- Ow!" he glared at Tam rubbing his arm where she had punched it. "What was that for?"

 

Tam smirked, "So strong."

 

Tim looked Pru in the eye as he said, "Try me, bitch."

 

Pru snickered, "What's on the line?"

 

"Loser has to make a working Ironman suit for the winner." Z spoke up.

 

Tim and Pru agreed and they sat down at the table. They put their hands together, and Pru's was immediately on the table.

 

"What the fuck? Owens come here." They did it again with Pru and Owens against Tim. Tim won again. "Z, you too." Pru demanded. Z sighed and joined, but Tim won again.

 

"Ha! You guys need to make me an Ironman suit now!" Tim crowed. "This is the best."

 

Tam just stood there, staring at them judgmentally.

 


 

The trio worked on (struggled with) the suit for three days before Tim took mercy on them and helped. Three days after Tim joined in, the suit was finished, which, if you asked Tam, was a terrible thing. Then, Tim had somehow found out that the Joker escaped from Arkham, stole the suit, and flew away, calling back, "I'm not losing my streak!" when they tried to get him to wait.

 

Tim had come back three hours later and with a grin when he took off the faceplate. "The suit's great! It flies well, and it made Joker cry when I kicked him in the dick! Oh, also, he's back in Arkham." 

 

Z was smirking when he asked, "What streak were you talking about?"

 

"Oh!" laughed Tim. He seemed really happy. He should do whatever he has just done more often; it clearly made him very happy. "Uh, since I was 12, I've been kicking the Joker's dick every time he escapes. My streak is 32 and has never been broken. If he takes too long to break out, I break into Arkham to kick him. At this point, I'm pretty sure he's sterile."

 

Tam squinted. "Wait, when did you become Robin?

 

"When I was thirteen."

 

Owens nodded with respect. "So you've been doing this since before you were Robin."

 

"Yeah. Well, today's the day!" he said. "We're gonna take down the Council and bring Batman back!"

 

S nodded. "Yes, then you can take your faction of the of the league to Gotham and make up with the bats."

 

Tim whipped around to face him. "I'm sorry, my what?"

 


 

Turns out almost a quarter of Ra's' ninjas were loyal to Tim because he was nice to them. Fuck Ra's. So now he has to find out what to do with the couple thousand ninjas he was now in charge of.

 

Another point in favor of becoming a crime lord like John wanted.

 


 

Dick was tired. Damian needed help, Jay was grieving, Bruce was… well, Tim had left and was only talking to his Young Justice teammates, and Dick was tired. Tired of Batman, tired of WE, tired of parenting, and just of all, tired of grieving. Dick was tired of waking up in the morning knowing that his dad would never smile and ruffle his hair after patrol. Dick was tired of needing to pretend that nothing was wrong because the public didn't know his dad-

 

Anyway, he was tired, but he couldn't sleep. Is this what Brice felt like? No wonder he drank coffee as black as his soul. This sucked.

 

Usually when he was like this, he'd talk with Tim. Tim was never asleep when Dick came in, and he would often finish cases during the night, but Tim never seemed tired. It was weird and a little creepy - a lot like Tim himself. Like he said, though, Tim wasn't picking up for anyone but his Young Justice friends who wouldn't tell Dick shit.

 

He was wandering towards the nearest coffee machine when his phone rang. He picked it up; at least if it was a scam caller, he'd be able to mess with them.

 

"Hello?" Dick asked, covering a yawn.

 

"Dick?" asked Tim's voice. Dick was suddenly much more awake.

 

"Yeah, Baby Bird? Is everything alright?"

 

Tim was slightly breathless when he replied, "What? Yeah, definitely. I'll be back in Gotham soon. And I've got a surprise~"

 

Dick heard what might have been a sigh on the other end of the phone that didn't sound like Tim. There was a muffled question and Tim replied with what might have been, 'we got a new lead.' Lead for what? But Tim hung up.

 


 

"We gotta lose the league." Tim said in answer to Bruce's question. He then hung up the phone, and turned to face Batbitch more directly.

 

Batbitch startled. "Why is the League of Assassins on your tail?"

 

Pru snorted. "'Cause Ra's has a crush on him!" she sing songed. 

 

"He does not!" screeched Tim.

 

"'You're underselling yourself, Detective.'" Owens recited, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

 

"Oh, Detective," swooned Pru because she was a bitch and willing to admit it. "What a big brain you have!"

 

Tim turned to Z with a pleading look.

 

"You want me to lie?" asked Z because he was also an asshole.

 

The Batbitch was staring at them with a constipated expression which only got worse when Tam mentioned, "Ooh, ooh. Remember that one time Ra's said that Tim would make a great heir?"

 

"That one time?" asked Pru. "He's made comments like that at least ten ten times." At least ten times and that's just in front of Pru.

 

"You're all terrible friends." Tim muttered. "It'll probably only be, like, three days to lose the league, though." he reassured the Batbitch.

 

"Wait, but didn't you mention once that, uh, what's his name, that magician? Constance Paine?" muttered Owens. "Cont-"

 

"John Constantine?" asked Pru back with an emotion. Tim could probably tell which one it was, but she has not been taught the language of the bat's facial expressions. "What about him?"

 

"Yeah I remember that!" Tam said. "He owes Tim a favor, right?" she asked Owens like Tim wasn't right there.

 

"Why don't you just cash in your magic favor?" Pru asked.

 

The big bad Bat started at Tim. "How big is this favor, Tim?" That was definitely concern in his tone.

 

"I- you know… big." Tim mumbled, waving his hands vaguely. "I, uh… kinda exorcized a demon for him once?" Not technically a lie; he had exorcized a demon for Constantine many times. It just… want as big a deal as it probably seemed to them.

 

Tam was staring at him now. "You can exorcise demons?" she asked incredulously.

 

Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne (Constantine), trust fund baby extraordinaire, winced slightly. "A little bit?"

 

Notes:

Sorry it's short, but it's really just the prologue. Next chapter should be up fairly soon? Probably?

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