Work Text:
| Alhaitham | Admonishing Instruction |
| Updated for version 3.3 |
 Artist: Hoyoverse
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| “Be careful of Alhaitham. I"m not saying he"s a bad guy, but he purely operates by rationality, so people often find his actions unacceptable. If you don"t believe me, just ask his housemate — thanks to Alhaitham, he has more pent-up frustration than an angry Anemo Slime.” |
Introduction
Alhaitham is a 5-star Dendro DPS introduced in version 3.4, also the bane of Kaveh’s existence. The Scribe of the Akademiya and its current Acting Grand Sage, Alhaitham boasts an equally complex kit as his responsibilities. While he is the greatest headache for his roommate, please follow us through the guide to prevent suffering Kaveh’s fate.
“I can"t deny that he"s very smart. However, it"s a shame that a man of such talent only pays attention to the truth itself and not to the people around him. Or perhaps this is due to an extraordinary sense of individualism, which causes a lot of problems. For example, he doesn"t seem to respect his seniors... Of course, I"m not referring to myself specifically.”
“As the person who knows him best, I’ll be taking over his guide!”
Table of Content
Why Play Alhaitham?
“Cause fuck him, and fuck him.”
| Pros | Cons | |
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TL;DR
“I would draw an infographic of him, but I can’t stand looking at him for too long. Hmm, why does your face look like that?”
Talents
“His talents? He has plenty of talents. Alhaitham scores the highest in his class every semester. How do I know that? Because that bastard’s name would show up time and time again next to mine. Why would it even though he’s a year below me? Beats me! I don’t know what the Akademiya is thinking, posting Haravatat and Ksharewar’s exam result lists together. Aren’t they aware that the two Darshans are always at each other’s throats?”
Constellations
“Rtawahist scholars once suggested that the study of one’s inner self and stars has the ability to reveal one’s potential. Alhaitham, of course, thinks that they are rubbish. Unbeknownst to him, I asked Layla to help me study his constellation before. Surely a man with such an ice-cold mindset would possess the most boring set of stars ever, right?”
“I was wrong, his stars looked beautiful.”
“His constellation is kinda nice, kinda pretty, kinda—”
“His constellation sucks!”
FAQ
“Hah, ask me anything! I’ve known Alhaitham for the longest time now, there"s no question I cannot answer. Eh? Why did he take me in when I contribute nothing to the household? Take that back, that’s rude!”
Weapons
“Why does my greatsword matches Alhaitham’s? You see, he gifted this to me on my graduation day. At first I was ecstatic; it really is a very good-looking greatsword, don’t you think? Later on I heard a rumour that he got them both forged together because there was a deal at the blacksmith that forging two is cheaper than just forging one. Well, I don’t really believe that rumour, but it’s also a very Alhaitham thing to do.”
“Hmm, why do I still have it if I’m pissed? Well, it’s a beautiful sword, and I’m not that angry about it...”
Artifacts
“These artifacts…they speak of the reign of the Scarlet King 1. Alhaitham poured hours into researching the artifacts when they were first found; it caught his attention quite a bit. I don’t think he had more than 4 hours of sleep, if any, for a week straight! Personally, I prefer the lovely items discovered to celebrate our Lord 2, but I can’t fault Alhaitham—both sets of items carry lovely, if not tragic, stories with them. If I were him, the stories alone would have captured my attention too.”
Teams
“Alhaitham doesn’t like working with anyone else. Hmmph, he’s always going on and on about how he works faster and more efficiently if he does things by himself. This is why he’s so stupid; doesn’t he know that if people work in teams, they can achieve greater things? Well, I don’t care what he thinks, he isn’t going to shake me off that easily!”
Afterword
“Honestly, despite being incredibly insufferable, give him a chance, would you? Alhaitham might seem mean, but I promise you he’s a nice guy inside. A real mean guy would have never offered his home to me for nothing in return. So, if I"m not there, would you please take care of him for me?”
“Of course, tolerating him might take an extraordinary amount of patience.”
References/External Links
“Source? Trust me.”
Credits
Kaveh