Chapter Text
The beginning of it was that he misses Ryan.
It was different than the way he would normally miss someone, because he’s also so fucking angry at Ryan. Because Ryan abandoned him. Short and simple, Ryan left him. Min can’t forgive him for that so easily. But, he still misses Ryan like a physical pain in his chest.
Every time he’s reminded that Ryan left, a new stab wound makes itself apparent in Min’s gut. And it's terrible because it’s not only because Min misses Ryan. It’s also because he’s jealous of the other boy.
Ryan’s out in the world, living both of their dreams, while Min’s still stuck at home, waiting for his parents to get back to work so that they can make dinner. Min is working at Dumpty’s and Ryan is out playing his music for all of Canada. God, it’s all so stupid. Min can’t just drop his whole life and future to become a rockstar, but nothing was gonna happen for Ryan anyways, so of course he could. Min’s going to go to university. He’s going to have a life. But, Ryan’s going to have fun and live a good life.
Min can’t tell what’s better.
And, there’s the big problem of “disappointing his parents.” Even if Min wanted to go with Ryan, (which he doesn’t, shut up), his parents would be disappointed in him forever. They have big ideas for what his life should be. They want him to work in finance, get a conventional job, and someday, (much sooner than Min would like), settle down with a woman. He already doesn’t like the idea of marriage to a woman, and his parents want him to already be looking for a girl. Ryan doesn’t have that type of pressure put on him- his parents generally don’t give two flying craps what he does with his life. Min wishes he had parents like that.
Instead, he lives with the ones he has. He learns to be mostly okay with the likelihood that he’ll never see Ryan again and that he’ll never be able to make music. He learns to ignore the phone on the wall and to never wonder why it doesn’t ring for Min. (And to never pick it up and be the first to break the silence between him and his best friend.) He learns to be okay with working at Dumpty’s and dealing with Horace.
But, just because he’s okay with it, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t hate it more than anything in the entire world.
Because, he, most definitely, absolutely, and resolutely hates Dumpty’s.
It sucks working there. Horace has known him for almost a year and still gets his name wrong every single time he says it. And, just in general, Horace is a jerk. He never does any real work, he overworks Min, and he’s generally rude and disrespectful to everyone he interacts with. The customers at Dumpty’s are terrible too. No matter what, they think that Min’s done something wrong. He can’t count how many times a day that he has to remake food for the ungrateful jerks who come in just to order a singular fried egg. The whole job sucks. Working at a fast food place in rural Canada sucks. Living in rural Canada sucks in general. Isn’t this what he wanted to get away from since he was a kid?
Crap.
Min misses Ryan.
Anyways, he’s going to university. And he’s just so excited. It’s always been a dream of his to go to school for four more years when he’s already an adult. Ryan would be looking down on him right now. Ryan would be telling him how stupid he is for doing something that he hates and for going back to school even though he’s never wanted to work in finance. Ryan would be telling him that Min’s destined for more than this, or some of the stupid, inspirational crap that Ryan’s always believed without a second thought.
But, that’s Ryan. And, once again, Min doesn’t want what Ryan has. He wants to live a better life without having to worry about where the next meal will come from.
Min’s life is so boring, though, that he almost wants to abandon everything. All he does everyday is wake up, get ready, go to work, eat, and sleep. There’s nothing fun he has to do, and no friends to hang out with now that most of the people he knew went to University and Ryan left. Min’s so tired of his parents constantly pressuring him and making him work, and so tired of them in general, too. He’s an adult. He should be living by himself by now and be done with them. But that’s not in the cards, he knows. He’s an only child with parents with insane expectations.
His parents are worried about preparing him for the “Real World” and teaching him how to do taxes and stuff, too, while constantly doting over him, just like they did for the entirety of his childhood. He has always wondered when their worrying would stop, but he’s starting to realize that he doesn’t think that it ever will. He’ll always be the Asian kid with overbearing parents, and someday they want him to be the overbearing parent to some poor new Asian kid. That’s the most terrifying thing, actually. They want Min to be just like them, and Min wants to be nothing like them. Don’t get him wrong, he loves his parents, but he doesn’t think that they’re entirely fair to him. Ever, really.
And, either way, they could have never prepared him for everything that would happen on the Train.