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He flicks the buttons one by one, waiting a specific amount of seconds between each one and another before quickly moving on to the next button, he counts one two three and he clicks, he counts one two and he presses, he counts one two three four and he flicks, he counts one two three and he finally starts the engine. The sequence just repeats in his head over and over again, and there was just only one thought going over in his mind and it was to just get this over with. To just finish this thing up and go back home. Both of them, together.
He sharply sucks in a breath as he moves a little bit forward with his seat, paying his full attention on the radar and the wheel that was under his left hand as to just not fuck this up. He can not fuck this up. Because if he does, it would be really bad, and he does not want to be the cause of any issues. So he stays focused, eyes scanning around the hundreds of buttons to his side, moving around the two little screen to the middle on the cockpit, watching as the ship gets all fueled up from when he just filled it up, and he runs his hand over the gear before pushing it forward at the exact second it hits the top.
The ship finally moves with that, giving a loud groan at first before that just turns into its usual humming rumble, allowing in more space for the air exchange to happen, because he had just fixed that damn machine and he finally leaves the ground. Wilbur would usually consider being much for careful with the Siren, including the fact that he has had this ship for years and years of his life while working with the Syndicate. But this was an emergency, he just had to get this over with, and there was just no time to actually be extra careful with a stupid ship that was literally named after a girl called Sally, whose code name was Siren.
He flicks yet another button, leaning back into his seat just to get into a comfortable position to be able to actually do this properly, because Wilbur knows damn well that he will never be able to actually work with something else just bothering him. So he leans back so that his back is resting, his left hand comfortably and tightly on the wheel as he moves it left and right, while his right hand was slightly hovering over the gear and buttons, moving between then and clicking whichever was needed in that very moment.
"Come on, come on, come on" He whispers to absolutely no one but himself, just barely dodging an asteroid that came out of absolutely nowhere, sending panic a;; over his body, but he was quick to calm down again and continue on his main route, and he finally remembers that he actually has to pay attention to what is coming in and going out of his way. Focus focus focus, this was important, so very important. Like a video game, he remembers telling Tommy at one point when his brother was scared of entering a test in a simulator, but in fact, this was just not a video game, this was real life, and in real life there were consequences to every single one of your actions.
But it was like a video games, like those space ship simulators back on their home planet, like those mini virtual reality games they have on the main ship's head quarters, like so so many games Wilbur remembers playing as a child and- There was no time for this, he had to actually find Tommy, where the fuck was Tommy? He needs to find him, and he needs to be alive, and this was just the one fucking time where he actually goes to something on his own, of course something bad has to happen. Sam just had to trust Tommy enough to do something on his own, didn't he?
He exhales a breath that he did not know he was holding, and contacts Tommy’s communicator again, there was not going to be an answer, he knew there would not be an answer, he has tried to call Tommy so many fucking times, and there was not a single reply. That would just only cause him more and more worry, and if only there was a way to get to that stupid planet his brother was sent to any faster. He could speed up the ship, but that will only cause his to break, that would only ruin the engine, and then he and Tommy can both say good bye to all of the things that they have ever done in life, then they can both get forgotten. Wilbur had always had the idea that they would both die in the end anyway, just like with any living creature, just not like this.
“Wil…” a breath gets stuck in his throat and he opens his communicator right away, pulling it closer to him and listening to every single source of life coming from the other side, just to make sure his brother was okay, just to make sure his brother was alive, just to make sure he was still there. He pays as much attention as he can to the ship he is driving, but also giving the communication device much more attention, just as he hears his brother’s heavily tired voice speak up once again. “Will… it’s- my ship- it crashed and… and i can’t get out-”.
“I’m almost there Tommy, I promise you, you’ll be okay” Wilbur breathes heavy, and he is trying, he really is, and he really wants to get this damn ship to move faster than it already is, and that fucking planet was just so close, it was so damn close to his location. He is going to land there any minute, and he is going to find Tommy’s broken down ship, and find the boy himself, and Wilbur will do everything he can to take him back home, because if he does not… no, he will get Tommy back. “I am here Tommy, I’ll get you home”.
With a few clicks, he will land his ship. With a few clicks, he will keep the ship on a low ground until he comes back. With a few clicks, he will contact the head quarters of the Syndicate to get everything Tommy might just need ready. With a few clicks, he would have already found Tommy, and was just on his way to go back home. With a few damn clicks, he will back back in the main ship of the Syndicate, and they would all be fine, and there would be nothing wrong, and everything would go back to normal. With a few fucking click.
He had made sure to land The Siren as fast as he could, grabbing anything that he would probably need to help his brother. Water, bandages, or any source of energy, he can not hold in the thought of losing his brother and he will not stand for it, so he grabs his tracker and communicator, just in case Tommy answers one more time, and he begins to look for a certain ship. Even if it takes hundreds of hours, even if it takes days. He needs to find Tommy.
-
Three hours in. Three fucking hours, and he has still not found his brother. He feels like he has wandered around the entire planet. He does not think anyone could possibly do that in just three damn hours, but that is alright, he just feels like it, and feelings do not always have to be the same as reality, and feelings do not have to always be so damn accurate. It worries him that there was no trace of existence of the damn planet, nothing but heat, endless deserts of sand, large rocky mountains, and half dry oasis, even if there was no sight of the sun, and that is just something he should be really grateful for. There was no one coming in and out unless it was the minimum number of locals, just a few of them wandering and looking around a broken down ship not so far away from- A broken down ship! That was Tommy’s ship! Oh my god, oh my god. He has found his brother, he has finally found him.
“Tommy! Oh my god, Toms!” Wilbur heaves after he reaches the familiar boy with a run, sliding onto the sandy floor, and quickly reaching for his brother, the lower half of his body buried under the pieces of the broken down ship. He quickly cradles his brother’s head tightly, holding him close to his chest just to get a look at him, just to actually hear him breathing every so slightly. His eyes were tired, his face paler than ever, and one of his wings broken, all of it being caused from the ship crash… and blood loss, a lot of blood loss.
“Give me a second- I’ll get you out, one second” Wilbur’s breaths are heavy, but he stands up quick, dropping Tommy lightly to the ground, and trying to push away the heavy metal of the broken ship, piece by piece and he makes sure that nothing hurts Tommy more than it already has. He keeps his arms steady and tries to push them away, one two three and four. Almost there, he is almost there, he is just going to push this away and he so close, he is so damn close to getting the younger out of this painful hell.
“Tommy? Tommy? Are you with me?” Wilbur questions, cradling his brothers head once again, making sure to get the both of them away from the broken ship, just incase anything else happens, and risking Tommy of getting hurt one again was the las thing that Tommy has ever wanted to do. He does not really expect an answer from his brother, his faint breathing was good enough for Wilbur, but the younger nods slightly and slowly either way, wincing his eyes for a quick second, and that was just more than enough, and that was just all that Wilbur needed.
He was quick to get up with Tommy cradled in his arms, holding him close to his chest s he stares down at him for a few seconds, just before he can start walking towards his own ship, he hopes that his ship was not too far from where he currently was. He can leave the examining of his injuries for when he is actually back in the Siren, or maybe even for Niki when he gets to the infirmary, but not now, anything but now, because he has to get back to the Syndicate before anything else happens.
-
“Wilbur, Wilbur get up” a voice says as he is being shaken awake, he quietly murmurs words with no meaning under his breath as he rubs his eyes open, wincing at the bright lights above him and he shuts them again. He hears a sigh not so far away from him, and it was almost closer than he had even expected. There was a close shuffle near him, and Wilbur flutters his eyes open once again, this time slower, and he looks to the side, to where the person from earlier is currently standing. Pastel pink hair and long ears flopped downwards, with a long braid running down a white shirt, a huff in frustration and a bag of ice is placed onto Wilbur’s left leg.
“Techno-” he tries to begin a sentence as soon as the cold ice bag in his brother’s hand is placed onto his leg, but his voice is quickly cut off with a strong cough, followed by a trail of them, and he finally gives up on trying to speak for a little bit. He inhales and exhales deeply, just to try and get his breathing in a stable manner, and finally sits up straight, huffing out as he brushes his hair away from his face, and he finally begins again. “Techno… where’s Tommy?”
“Knew you’d ask that, he’s in the infirmary with Niki, wings got screwed up and everythin’. How’re you feelin’?” The man speaks, voice calm as he spins in his chair quietly, staring at the floor and glancing a few times and Wilbur’s face. The brunette only winces at that. It was his fault he could not reach Tommy in time, it was his fault he let Tommy go there alone, it was his fault that he let Sam send Tommy on that stupid mission, it was-
“Don’t blame yourself for it, y’know how Tommy was all about going on that mission alone, and Sam let him” Techno speaks as if he had just read the other’s mind, staring at him for a few seconds with his bright red eyes, and he looks back at the floor again with a slight frown, although it was more leaning to a straight face, his ears still flopped and facing downwards, and Wilbur was sure that he was not in a decent moot at all. And a sigh releases from the two brothers in sync, the two always blamed it on the twins thing, they do stuff at the same time and all that sort of stuff. But Wilbur’s mind is still consumed with the blame of it all being his fault. And he so very dearly wants to push it all out, he wants to kick his own thoughts and tell himself to stop doing that for once in his life, because hell not everything is his fault, and he has told himself that multiple times, but Wilbur does not listen, he never does, especially if it is just instructions from his brain to himself. He knew Tommy would not like that, he knew Techno would not like that, no one would, not even himself. But his brain just can not help it.
“Can I see him?” His question is left unanswered, and Techno just continues to stare at the floor, lips pressed into a tight straight line. This is also his fault, isn’t it? Tommy was hurt too much, he was still in the infirmary, and it was all because Wilbur could not just reach there in time, it was all because Wilbur let him go there alone, it was all because pf Wilbur, it was always Wilbur, it was-
“I’m sure Niki will let you see him once he wakes up-” Techno starts, but he was quickly cut off by the door of Wilbur’s room being brutally opened, and Tubbo stands outside the door, breathing heavy, his bright eyes wide underneath his messy hair that covers it, and he looks like he wants to say something, he really does, but also looks like he can not speak out single word, his thoughts getting mushed up before he can even spit them all out.
Wilbur was first to move, rushing towards the shorter brunette at the door and standing in the same eye level as him, he slightly winced at his leg as soon as it touches the floor but he can pretty much ignore that. Tubbo still does not say a single word though, he attempts to form a few sentences, but they just always ends up failing and nothing ever comes out. And the boy sighs in frustration at absolutely nothing.
“Tubs, breathe. What’s going on?” Wilbur voice was calm and sincere, and he just always has a way with the younger member on this ship, even if they were brother or not. It was some sort of safe space between him and the youngers, and his voice was always stable enough to help them calm down, just enough to be able to form a few words or maybe even sentences to lead to what is happening. Philza called in an effect of his voice, and Tommy would usually call it “Wilbur and his mind control powers”, but whatever his father called it was more accurate anyway.
“Tommy, he’s not well. Niki says he… Niki says he might be gone” Tubbo speaks up, eyes just as wide as when he first entered the room, and his breathing starts to pick up and get faster again. The younger grabs Wilbur’s arm and starts to pull him out of the room, the older quickly picking up on what Tubbo is trying to do and starts to follow, going towards the familiar route to the infirmary wing.
No no no no no this can not be Tommy just can not be gone Tommy might be gone and it is all just because of him this was all just his fault this always happens and he is starting to blame himself for things once again and-
There he is, Tommy laying down on the single beds of the infirmary, his face so very pale, and his pearl white feathery wings wrapped up in bandages. Wilbur stops dead in his tracks. How? Tommy was literally just right there with him, Tommy was just there breathing ever so slightly. Then what the actual fuck happened? How the hell did it go this bad? It can not be, Tommy can not just he dead, he can not-
-
Space funerals were never a thing to attend on Wilbur’s bucket list, and as much as he hate being here, and as much as he blames himself for the funeral to start with, he had to attend, he had to be there. Because who knows, maybe one day Tommy will come back, he really hopes, not as the young avian he was, but a phantom, just like Wilbur. And maybe it was too much to hope for, and maybe Tommy would not have the same chances that Wilbur has gotten, but there was nothing wrong with having the slightest bit of hope.
So he takes hold on those colored flowers that Tommy had always liked, and he puts one down in front of his space grave, and he sucks in a breath as he watches the pod get shot far away.