Chapter Text
"Guys what is going on?! My dad went through the trouble of packing our hazmat suits AND our bullet proof vests! Mom even found grandma's old riot shields! And then I open Donnie's gift and it's something he bought online?! Mayhem's gift too! You don't need a hazmat suit for something bought at Walmart ! I texted him about it and he just asked me if I wanted an electronic copy of the gift receipt! Can you believe it?!"
Leo, Mikey and Raph were in the kitchen on the video call with April. Mikey was furiously preparing their Christmas dinner feast as they discussed their gifts from Donnie. Donnie himself, meanwhile, was in the drone race room with S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. He had a whole PowerPoint presentation for the drone's gift. Mikey's gift didn't come with a PowerPoint presentation! Just a dumb owner's manual with Spanish and Chinese translations. If Donnie had made it there'd be translations for at least six languages! Including a QR code for an ASL translation!
"We know April! All our gifts were bought too!" Leo hissed into the phone. Mikey shoved him aside.
"Except for S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.'s! He said he made S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.'s because nothing on the market was good enough for him!"
"Say what?! But it's good enough for us?!"
"That's what I'm saying!" Mikey yelled into the phone, tears in his eyes as he furiously beat eggs in a bowl with his free hand. Raph patted his back comfortingly. Leo took the phone back and grumbled into it.
"Donnie hates buying gifts! He hates sales tax! He loves not buying into capitalist holidays! The gifts are awesome–!"
"They're super awesome!" April agreed.
"But they're not–!" Leo made a frustrated sound.
"I know!" April exclaimed.
"Exactly!"
They both let out angry groans.
"Ok guys but we can't just tell him that and it's not like we don't love our gifts," Raph sighed, "It's not our choice whether he makes our gifts or buys them. It takes a lot of time to make stuff. Maybe this year he just focused on S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.'s. It is the little guy's first Christmas. We should just be grateful he got us such great gifts."
"Ok but I cannot get over the gift receipts," April said through the phone.
"No one can," Leo muttered darkly. Mikey nodded his head furiously in agreement, angrily turning on the blender.
Leo tapped his foot in agitation and then gave in and started pacing.
"It's fine if Raph's case is the case but my twin senses are tingling and this is totally the result of some middle child nonsense he made up in his head! I know middle child nonsense! I am one!"
"Yeah! If you think of all our past Christmas gifts and birthday gifts and the stuff he's made this year alone, including S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. ! There's no way he didn't have time or motivation! He's always in the lab! He was still in there this morning until 3am and it's Christmas !" Mikey hissed as he violently kneaded dough on the kitchen countertop.
"Maybe we're over exaggerating this just a little. Is it really that big of a deal–?"
"YES!" They all yelled over Raph. Mikey loudly slammed the mixing bowl in his hands down and glared at him.
"Are you out of your mind son?! I've never been more betrayed! I deserve a handmade gift Raph! I deserve it!"
Mikey stuck his finger in Raph's face and shook it angrily. Leo held the phone in front of Mikey's face so April could shout at Raph too.
"My dad is sulking Raph! He packed our bullet proof vests! When else does he get to use those?!"
Leo shoved in front of his youngest brother and jumped to grab Raph by the shoulders and shake him.
"And I expect to nearly die like all the time but especially on Christmas and specifically from Donnie's gifts! It's special! Is there nothing sacred anymore?! Where is the respect for Christmas tradition?!" Leo insisted.
"Ok, ok! It's a problem," Raph agreed, putting Leo back on the ground and throwing his hands up in surrender, "but what are we going to do about it? You know how sensitive Donnie can be about this stuff."
Mikey grumbled something under his breath.
"What?"
"I said Dr.Delicate Touch can smack some sense into him!" Mikey proclaimed, turning off the stove and throwing his apron on the ground. Leo immediately grabbed his little brother, holding him back.
"Woah woah woah Mike! It's Christmas!"
Raph gestured at him soothingly.
"Yeah Mikey calm down! It's not that big of a–"
"We've established that it is Raph!" Mikey yelled.
"Ok! Ok! Wrong choice of words! I'm just saying it's S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.'s first Christmas! Maybe someone with more, I don't know uh–"
"Feelings," Leo stated.
"Yeah, someone with more of those should go talk with 'im–"
" Gently ," April added.
"And kindly," Leo drawled.
"And non-aggressively," Raph said slowly. Mikey sagged in Leo's arms.
"Fine."
Leo let Mikey go, sighing in relief.
"Then Dr.Feelings will go talk to him!" He announced.
Leo and Raph exchanged a glance and followed behind him. April gave them a look through the phone. Leo shrugged at her and flipped the camera so she could watch Mikey march down the hallway.
"Donnie!" Mikey hollered as he stomped into the drone race room. Raph and Leo peeked past the doorway, holding Leo's phone out so April could watch too.
"Ah brethren!" Donnie greeted them before Mikey could get another word out, "Impeccable timing!"
Donatello's upper half appeared on a giant screen projected midair and gestured for them to enter. The blue and red turtles looked at each other and sheepishly stepped inside. Their eyes widened as they came to stand next to Mikey at a railing. They looked around and found that the room extended multiple levels below and above them. A walkway extended around the room but the middle was left empty for a race track running from the top to the bottom.
At the very bottom Donnie waved up at them. He stood in the center of the floor with a hip cocked, his goggles down, and a confident smirk on his face as he took in their awed expressions. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. suddenly dove in front of them. They jumped back as the drone snickered. Raph waved at the drone awkwardly.
"Heeeeey Shelly Baby! How's your Christmas gift from Donnie treating you?" Raph asked very normally. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. did a flip and flew over to them, practically vibrating.
" Awesome!" he laughed, "Watch this!"
S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. zoomed up to the center of the space and lit up. Immediately the track shifted, lowering and lifting to form a new track. Multiple panels opened on every wall, the ceiling, and the floor, putting away old obstacles and revealing new ones. Hoops, loop de loops, saws, tunnels, walls, flamethrowers, water cannons, lasers—Donatello Hamato did not know the meaning of 'bare minimum.'
"Isn't it totally righteous?!" S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. inquired, thrilling like a songbird. Raph gave him a thumbs up, gawking as the room rotated and rearranged itself.
" Is that a shark tank?!" Leo hissed fervently to Raph.
"They're robotic of course," Donnie verified.
"And they're totally aggressive!" S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. cawed joyfully as he swopped down to fly over the pool in the room. The robotic sharks viciously attempted to bite him, pushing each other aside in their struggle to get a taste. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. giggled as he dodged between them and flew out of range, annoying them. As the turtles watched S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. play with the bloodthirsty robo-sharks Donnie cleared his throat on the screen.
"As I was saying, impeccable timing brethren! You have arrived just in time for the Drone Zone's maiden voyage! So to speak."
Donnie pressed a button on his tech bracelet and a hologram sprang up around them, picturing several different race courses that the room featured.
"Now that S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. had gotten the hang of the room's controls–"
"It's time to take this baby for a spin~!" S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. interrupted, flying in front of his father figure.
"Indeed," Donnie agreed patiently, "And that is where you all come in."
"Us?!" Leo pointed at himself in disbelief.
"You want us to run through that thing?!" Raph gawked. The phone in Leo's hand cackled and jumped in his hands. Leo frantically grabbed at it and breathed a sigh of relief when it didn't fall off the edge. Donnie flipped up his goggles and smiled.
"Oh is that April–?"
" Hold on just a second!"
"Uh-oh," Leo muttered.
"Ho boy," Raph sighed.
"Before anybody does anything I–!"
Leo firmly placed a hand over Mikey's mouth, muffling his next words. Donnie raised a brow at them and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. cocked his head curiously. Raph grinned nervously, sliding in front of his brothers to take over.
"I–," he continued, "uh, we–! What Mikey was gonna say was we don't think we can physically do that!"
Leo leaned over to be seen behind Raph and nodded his head with a matching very normal smile on his face.
"Well of course not."
Donnie shook his head and crossed his arms, shifting his weight onto the other hip. He gave them a look that asked 'why are you dumb dumbs being weird this time?' S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. mirrored the look next to Donnie's image. His Donnie impression had gotten pretty good after standing in for him so many times.
"You will not be racing, you'll be flying my remote control drones, prepared for the occasion."
The brothers, and their phone sister, watched the screen as Donnie tapped another button on his controls and four shiny drones zoomed out of the floor behind him. The drones came to hover eye level with them. There was one in each of their respective colors. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. flew over and knocked against the purple one playfully. He tapped the blue one inquisitively and waved at the red one. He seemed very amused by their lack of response.
Four circles opened up in the floor in front of each of the turtles and four pillars rose up. A matching remote control and helmet in each of their colors rested on top. The pillars came to a stop and Donnie grabbed his controller. He gave it a toss and caught it facing towards them.
"Modeled after our own game remotes for more intuitive use. The helmets will let you see through the eyes of your drone."
The sound of an explosion made all of them flinch.
"Surround sound," Donnie smirked as S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. laughed at their reactions. The purple turtle pointed upwards. They all craned their necks and dropped their jaws at the sight of the words ' Drone Zone! Race to Your Death!' blazing above. Leo angled the phone so April could see. She 'ooo'ed and 'ahh'ed and took a screenshot, mumbling 'nifty.' Mikey stopped fighting in Leo's hold and the blue turtle just held his brother against his chest, marveling at his twin brother's work.
Donnie snapped his fingers and the words spun and flipped, changing to a red and white candy cane Christmas theme. Below the title appeared the words '1st Ever Race' and 'Family Christmas Showdown.'
"Ok," Leo whispered, "I think I'm fine letting the whole gift receipt thing go."
Raph nodded in a daze but Mikey smacked Leo's arm and shook his head angrily. Suddenly the platform they were standing on started lowering. Video game-esque instructions appeared around each of them, enthusiastically telling them to put on their helmets and grab their remotes. Leo dropped Mikey and scrambled over to his controller. He popped on his racing helmet and cooed over himself, posing in the reflective surface of the wall. Raph picked up his remote joyfully, it was just his size. Mikey stood up grudgingly and grabbed his own gear, pouting to himself because his conversation with Donnie had gotten placed on the back burner.
Panels opened on the floor and bean bag chairs rose up as they reached the ground. Donnie gestured them over, taking a seat himself and sliding on his own helmet.
A green drone whizzed in front of Leo and stuck a robotic hand out for his phone. He handed it over with a shrug. April watched in excitement as her screen became an announcer's soundboard and the drone flew her up to get a view of the whole race course. Screens popped up around the room, displaying her footage. April squinted at the tiny images in frustration. She grinned when the hotel TV suddenly turned on, showing her display. An alert popped up on the bottom right of her screen. She clicked on it and her screen split in two, one half showing her view above the stadium and the other showing Splinter.
"April? What are you doing on my infomercials?"
"I'll show you what we're doing, Splints! This is your host, Apriiiiiil O'Neil! Reporting live from the Drone Zone's first ever race!"
"Ohhhh. And this is Master Splinter! Your, uh, other host! Giving you coverage on… oh ok, the Hamato's 1st ever Family Christmas Showdown!"
"This is why I didn't make announcers for your race course," Donnie whispered into his helmet on the coms to S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.
"Ohhhh. Gnarly."
As Splinter and April finished their announcement, the turtles began to finish their tutorials, making it to the starting line where S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. waited eagerly.
"Introducing our racers! Coming up on the right! He'll greet ya! He'll beat ya! He'll portal-chop you to the grave! The turtle in blue, iiiiiiiit's Leo!" April announced as an invisible audience cheered.
"Coming at 'cha!" Leo crowed as he slid his drone into the space to S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.'s right.
"Wearing red! He's big! He's green! He's a drone racing machine! Coming in heavy, it's Raaaph!" Splinter's voice echoed around the chamber.
"Like a boss!" Raph shouted as he dove into his spot, bumping into Leo's drone. Leo flicked up his helmet's visor and glared over at his brother.
" Hey! You did that on purpose!"
Raph flipped up his own visor and shrugged.
"Raph has big fingers."
"Out of the frying pan and into the driver's seat! He's sweet and he's kind but he'll leave your sorry butt behind! The man behind the orange mask, iiiiiiiiit's Mikey!"
Mikey slammed his drone into both of his brothers' drones.
"Heeeeey!" They shouted angrily. Mikey slid his visor up and glared at them. 'What happened to talking?' he mouthed. Raph and Leo shared another look.
"But," Leo made puppy eyes at Mikey, "family bonding."
"S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.'s first Christmas," Raph whimpered.
"Video games," they whined softly, showing him their shiny, new, color-coded controllers. Mikey scowled at them and they both slid their visors down and faced forward, avoiding his gaze.
Mikey flipped on the coms and his image appeared in his brothers' monitors. He crossed his arms as they smiled sheepishly at him.
"Rising up on the left! Fresh from the lab room! He's got the brains and the brawn! It's Donnie!"
"I find these introductions to be unnecessary and mortifying," Donnie sighed.
Everybody ignored Donnie.
"Come on Mikey! It's Shelly's first Christmas! We can't ruin that for 'im," Raph reasoned.
"Yeah! Just look at how excited he is!"
Leo pointed at the drone empathetically.
"Taking front and center stage! Raring for a riot and ready for a ruckus! The drone! The myth! The legend! It's S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.!"
S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. flipped in his place and revved his engine, visibly excited. Mikey frowned and his brothers sensed an opening.
"Look big guy, we'll do one race–"
"It won't even take five minutes!"
"–and then we'll all ask him about what's up with his gifts this year."
"Shell's happy, we're happy, everyone's happy. Win-win, win, win, win," Leo winked.
Mikey drummed his fingers against his controller but honestly, this did look like it would be pretty fun. He couldn't say he wasn't the least bit excited. And he didn't want to mess up S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.'s first Christmas…
"...fine."
His brothers cheered and Leo switched to the general coms.
"So what do I get when I win?"
(Skip here if you aren't interested in a racing scene)
The brothers appeared in each other's monitors along with S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. Donnie rolled his eyes at the sight of his twin's annoying, smirking face.
"Scoff. I designed this track. The chances of you winning are a mere 12.38%."
"But he has a point Donnie. What are we racing for boys?"
"S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.'s house, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.'s rules," Donnie shrugged. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. fidgeted as he thought.
"Uhhhhh… oh! Winner gets to boss around Donnie for the rest of the day!"
"Hey!"
"S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.'s house, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.'s rules," his brothers parroted to him in delight.
"Well what do I get if I win then?!"
"Spared," Mikey said coldly. Donnie blinked at his youngest brother's icon. That didn't sound like Mikey.
"...what's up with him?" Donnie asked his other brothers in a private channel.
"No idea," they lied. Raph and Leo really wanted to play their brother's cool video game-like invention before they accidentally upset him with another emotional misunderstanding. This stuff was just so awesom e and this conversation was going to go so badly . Could you blame them?
"Alright! The race will be a straight sprint from the starting line to the finish. First one across wins. Anything goes!"
"Anything goes?" Raph repeated in alarm.
"Yeah brah! We're drone racing!" S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. whooped.
"Anything goes!" Splinter confirmed.
"On your marks! Get set! Go!"
Donnie decided he did not, in fact, like Christmas anymore as his brothers immediately rammed his drone in a three way tackle. They darted off after S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. while his drone shook off the shock and April narrated the attack.
"You rapscallions!" He hissed at them.
"Anything goes bro!" Leo laughed as he pushed his drone to skid around the curve without losing speed. He unsheathed his sword and opened a small portal. Leo reached an arm through and punched Raph's drone off course. April hooted in glee as Splinter replayed the moment in slow motion, shaking his head in a show of sympathy.
"Leo!"
"Hahaha– hey!"
"Tally-ho!" Donnie shouted as his drone rammed his blue brother's drone from below.
"Where'd you even come from?!"
"I built every inch of this course myself 'Nardo! Good! Luck!"
Mikey stewed at the reminder and rammed into his brother from behind, sticking his tongue out at Donnie's indignant 'hey!'
"Well then," S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. said deviously from his spot at the head of the pack, "let's level the playing field shall we? Cowabunga!"
The track in front of the turtles' drones shifted and Donnie cursed.
"He's randomizing the course!" Donnie realized. He sharply turned left to avoid a wall rising from the ground. His brothers similarly turned to evasive maneuvers as S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. sped further ahead.
"Why would you give him the power to change the course mid-race on a whim without any rules against it anyway?!" Leo yelled at him. Leo glared at his brother's image. Donnie avoided looking into the camera.
"...it's his Christmas gift," Donnie mumbled.
" Oh! You! Giant! Softie!"
"It's an important safety feature!"
Mikey rammed between his bickering brothers and used the lifting track in front of them like a ramp, taking second place. Raph followed in his wake, taking third.
The twins cursed and dodged around the lifting track. They dove through a tunnel of rings and their maps blinked, directing them to follow the long way back on the track. Donnie groaned at the sight of all the obstacles in the way. They continued to curse at each other as they zoomed through the bonus course, fighting fiercely with each other even though they were no longer on the main track.
"And the twins take a hit! Knocked off the main track they dive deep into the obstacle course to make their way back on the road! Meanwhile Mikey is tearing through the runway, biting at S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.'s tail! What are your predictions for this race, Splints?"
"Hmm. Purple and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. have the obvious advantage but Purple lost his edge from the start of the race. Blue is too overconfident and digs himself a hole. Red is steady but needs to show more aggression. I would put it down to Orange, who seems weirdly quiet but unusually motivated, and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N."
"And that is exactly what we are witnessing right now folks! Mikey has pulled neck and neck with S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. despite his attempts to shake the orange racer off and they are tearing to the first obstacle: Chainsaw Alleeeey!"
"' Chainsaw'– ?! Donnie, is this safe for S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.?!" Raph screeched
"Ha! Ha! Ha! …no."
"What?!"
"It's semi-lethal but he should be fine."
" Donnie?!"
"It's drone racing. He wouldn't have liked it if it was completely non-lethal! I constructed this course according to his skill level. He'll be fine. He's made of a reinforced titanium alloy and I made a backup copy of his programming beforehand."
"You what?!"
"Oops, a turn. Can't hear you! Beating Leo! Bye Raph!"
" Donnie?!"
In Donnie's defense, it was better S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. was reckless and rebellious in the safety of the lair with prior precautions taken and control of the course than put in the dangerous neon streets of New York!
–Donnie.
Mikey dodged through the blades, keeping steady with S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. He didn't want the drone to get hurt so he was waiting to make his move but Mikey was in it to win it! After this he was shaking his older brother down for every nonsense thought running through his big dumb brain!
"...the Orange one scares me sometimes," Splinter mused as he watched the orange drone cut through the tunnel of blades like a well drawn sword.
"They are through the Alley with Raph not far behind!" April roared dramatically, "Coming up and through the first loop and diving down! Down! Down! To Obstacle Two: The Jaws. OF DEATH!"
"'Jaws of Death?!'" Raph gasped in horror.
"The robo-sharks S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. was playing with before," Donnie clarified matter-a-factly, "They're fun."
"Great name for a gift you gave your kid for his first Christmas bro," Leo complimented him sarcastically.
"Thank you," Donnie replied seriously. Leo sighed.
Mikey's drone and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. crashed repeatedly into each other's side as they flew down the runway, violently trying to throw the other off the track. Suddenly a red blur landed in front of them, stealing first place as they entered the Jaws of Death.
"Turtle tank driving skills!" Donnie whooped as he saw the rankings change on the side of his monitor.
"Nice one big bro!" Leo cheered and then screamed as he dodged a laser cannon to the soundtrack of Donnie's maniacal laughter.
" Evil laugh!"
"Stop shooting at me! I'm trying to balance these boxes so we can open the door! "
(April O'Neil here with a quick update on the group not currently competing for 1st! The twins are now stuck in a puzzle chamber trying to break free! They must bring the right key to the door, dodge the remaining obstacles and re-enter the course to stay in the race! Donnie is armed and not helping.)
Raph flew through the low tunnel which kept the drones close to the water. The chamber was dimly lit and gave Raph anxiety. Suddenly a shark burst out of the water and filled up his screen. Raph shrieked, smashing down on his controller. The red drone cut through the shark viciously with a chainsaw from the previous obstacle. April whooped and replayed the moment, commenting on his resourcefulness. In actuality, Raph had flown through the first obstacle screaming and button smashing and accidentally grabbed it. He then panicked thinking his drone got hit and stored it in his inventory that he did not know they had.
But he wasn't telling anyone that.
"Raph makes it through the Jaws of Death holding on to his 1st place spot!"
"S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. and Orange remain hot on his tail as they come to the third and final obstacle for this course!"
"HOOOOOOT–!"
"–SOOOOOOOUP!" The hosts yelled together.
Raph stared at the horizon suspiciously as his drone approached the next obstacle. The closer he got, the more and more he was certain–
"...that's not soup."
"Astute observation eldest brother. Two things. First, that is a vat of acid. Second, eat my reinforced titanium alloy!"
Raph's screen went momentarily dark as Leo and Donnie's drones rammed him. Raph groaned and tried to jostle his drone back awake faster. The twins tore forward, tied for first place as they wove through the course.
"Finite alliance?" Donnie proposed. Leo smirked at his brother's image on his display.
"Finite alliance," he agreed. Leo opened a portal on his own drone and grabbed onto his brother's racer, allowing his twin to turn and shoot at their competition. Donnie cackled as he fired mercilessly at his son and other two brothers.
" Evil laugh!"
"This is why no one thinks you like Christmas bruh!" S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. yelled at Donnie as he frantically dodged.
"Oh come on!" Mikey shouted in frustration as he willed his drone to move faster.
The turtles were getting closer to the final obstacle now and Raph, who was the only one worrying about these things, was really worrying.
"Donnie?"
Donnie ignored his oldest brother, as he continued to fire. Raph fidgeted in his seat and asked his question anyway.
"The 'vat' isn't flat is it?"
"That's right!" April announced on the screen, "As Raph has noticed, Hot Soup is not just a peaceful pit of acid!"
A diagram appeared on the screen next to Splinter who pointed at it.
"Hot Soup is a wild ride down a slide-like tunnel! But the acid does not just sit there obediently!" He chuckled and shook a finger at the camera, "Too easy. Rather it crashes in waves like a tsunami!"
"How are you supposed to dodge that?!" Raph screeched.
"You're about to find out!" April yelled in excitement.
The drones raced up a hill leading to the slide as Raph's anxiety grew and his brothers continued to squabble without care. He kept S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. in sight, worried for the drone's safety. Donnie was insane! How was this safe?!
"Donnie is the first to enter the third obstacle: Hot Soup!"
Raph brought up the announcement feed and sighed in relief.
"Oh. Forgot we had those."
Donnie nose dived through the slide, his twin brother by his side and the rest of his family not far behind. He kept his eyes on the timer in the bottom left of his screen and the course map, watching for when the force field surrounding his drone would run out. He pressed down harder on his controller, willing the drone to dive faster as the timer ticked down and the obstacle's exit still seemed too far away. Leo's drone came level with his own and Mikey and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. were directly behind them. Space was tight. If he wasn't careful he would crash with all of them.
"Come on Donnie," he whispered to himself, licking his lips. The timer hit two seconds and he pulled up sharply, aiming for the exit while unconsciously aware of the acid wave following behind him. He shot out of the tunnel, followed by all four of his competitors.
He sighed in relief as the timer hit zero but kept himself tense. There was still a long stretch of racing ahead of him and all of his siblings, and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N., were insanely competitive.
"Coming out of the tunnel! Leo in first! Donnie in second! S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. in third! Mikey in fourth! And Raph coming up at the back of the pack!"
Sighing a big sigh of relief, Raph allowed himself to stop worrying and enjoy the race with his family. He whooped as they dove down the track and turned around a corner. He passed Mikey and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. but then got passed by Mikey.
Donnie pulled ahead of Leo and then got rammed from behind by Mikey who stole first.
"Ow, Michael. What did I do to you?!"
"You didn't do anything!" Mikey spat back. Donnie flinched back. He detected a bit of Dr.Delicate Touch in that response. Did something happen?
S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. wove his way through them and managed to take second before Leo's drone elbowed by him and a portal opened by Mikey's drone. Leo stuck his hilt through and tripped up Mikey and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. His drone grabbed first once again. Donnie and Raph zoomed through the track behind him, gaining ground. Splinter's eyes darted between them as they shuffled around.
"This race is neck and neck and neck and–"
"Racers are fighting to gain even an inch on the track!" April exclaimed, "It's anybody's race as we come into the last straight stretch to the finish!"
"Why do you guys even want to order me around?! There's only half the day left!" Donnie grunted as Raph scraped him against the wall.
"There's plenty you can get done in half a day!" S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. laughed, "Stop pretending to be modest brah!"
"Besides that!" Leo smirked as he managed to grab on to first place for a couple seconds again, "Bossing you around will just be the cherry on top to my already sweet victory!"
"The fact of the matter is," Raph stated with a grin, "we can all agree that messing with you is extremely fun!"
They laughed as S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. slammed Donnie's drone into the wall.
"Bah humbug," Donnie muttered.
"100 meters left!" Splinter announced over the speakers.
Donnie pushed the buttons on his controller harder and leaned forward, egging his drone on.
"50 meters!"
"It's going to be a photo finish!"
The drones crashed together, pressing into each other's sides as they bulldozed forward. Leo jumped onto his feet. Raph hunkered down. Mikey whooshed the controller from side to side as if that would somehow help his drone go faster. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. yelled with the turtles.
The flag fell.
"And it's… Donnie by a millimeter!"
Donnie shot up and threw down his helmet. He whooped and pressed his wrist console, activating his victory music and initiating his victory dance. Disco lights turned on as Donnie moonwalked to bump into Leo. He leaned on his annoyed brother's shoulder with a smug grin. He poked Leo's face and spun to pompously bat his eyes in his eldest brother's face.
"Oh. I'm sorry. Is my continued autonomy aggravating you? Is my victory too blinding for thine eyes brethren?"
His brothers groaned and ignored him as he crowed like a peacock, strutting around the floor. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. soared down and crashed into Donnie, bowling him down to the floor where he groaned in pain. His brothers laughed at him, pointing their fingers and clutching their stomachs unsympathetically.
"Ah second again? But that was totally gnarly!–"
(End of racing scene)
"–Did you see me go through the chainsaws Don?! It was awesome, brah! Best gift ever!"
Donnie grunted as the drone jumped up and down on him in excitement.
"I am glad– ow– that you are pleased S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N."
"And the sharks were sick bro! One came up right beside me! He missed me by like an inch brah! Less than an inch! He was that close!"
"Thats–ow! Great–"
"And the acid was all whoosh–"
"Is that so–"
"–and we were all like nah–"
"Indeed–"
"–and we were like free falling basically through the tunnel and–"
"S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N."
S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. paused. He rotated to look at Donnie's flat expression.
"Yeah Dee?"
"Get off me."
"Oh. My B broham."
S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. hovered off of him. Donnie clambered to his feet and stretched out his back. Mikey slid off his helmet and put down his controller. He stood up with purpose but was stopped by Raph's hand.
"Let's go aga–!"
"Woah! Hold up Shelly!" Raph interrupted nervously, feeling the glare of his youngest brother.
"Think we're gonna have to take a rain check. We uh, actually have to borrow Donnie for a quick sec."
"Yeah broski," Leo backed with a fire of finger guns, "we'll be right back and then we can drone race 'til the cows come home."
S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. and Donnie stared at them in silence but then the drone shrugged.
"Mmkay. Guess I'll try the time trials."
Donnie locked his expression into one of neutrality. His brothers were acting… less than ordinary. Especially Mikey. And it was Christmas. Something was definitely wrong but he didn't recall doing anything that would require a talk recently?
"Is there a problem?"
"No! No problem!" Raph assured him. He waved his hands dismissively in front of himself. Donnie silently stared at him, watching the sweat bead on Raph's forehead and roll down his face. 'No problem…'
Uh-huh.
"Sigh. Alright then, let's take this somewhere less noisy than, shall we?"
Donnie snapped again and a door opened in the wall behind him. Leo and Raph followed Donnie, nervously eyeing Mikey who was still strangely quiet. Donnie brought them into a sitting room filled with screens showing the Drone Zone. They could see S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. flying through the track while April and Splinter cheered on the monitors. The room was set up with three couches on each side of a middle table, all angled towards the screens. Donnie shut off the displays with a tap of his wrist console and then sat down.
Raph felt nervous. This wasn't going to go well. They were going to break his little brother's heart. What were they even going to say? They all liked their gifts. He loved his gift but he also just felt uneasy about the whole thing. But Donnie was going to misunderstand. And then he'll be upset and then Christmas will be ruined and dinner will be awkward and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. will notice and then he'll be upset and then they'll all fight and–
Donnie cleared his throat and raised a brow at his eldest brother. Mikey and Leo had already sat down. Raph laughed nervously and sat down mechanically on a couch. He drummed his hands awkwardly on his lap, looking between his brothers. Donnie considered him, cataloging his actions away in his head.
"You… had something to say?"
Raph startled as if he wasn't expecting Donnie to take notice of him somehow.
"Right! Well! Uh you see Donnie we uh– it's not like it's anything bad of course we just thought– y'know uh–"
"No," Donnie replied with an unimpressed lift of a brow, "no I do not think I do know. Are you certain something is not wrong Raph?"
"Uhhhhh–"
"Everything is fine," Leo, blessedly, butted in.
He sat on the couch next to Mikey, arms crossed and one leg over the other. His lips were pressed together and he stared sidelong at a black screen. Donnie narrowed his eyes.
He didn't specialize in body language but any amateur would tell him his brothers were exhibiting signs of nervousness, anger, and frustration. All of which pointed to there in fact being a problem. He would assume then that this was a classic case of beating around the bush. This would be painful if one of them didn't break soon. His eyes landed on Mikey who seemed the most out of sorts.
He tried to make eye contact but the orange turtle was unusually unavailable, body language closed off and eyes staring at his lap. Donnie didn't like it. He drummed his fingers on his lap and flapped his hands nervously. The atmosphere was affecting him. He cleared his throat.
"Ok. Something is clearly wrong so I'm just going to ask: What?"
"Nothing's wro–"
"You've said that and we've established that it is quite obviously not the truth. So again, what is wrong?"
Donnie's eyes fell on his youngest brother's hands. The orange turtle fiddled with his fingers, slowly inching them towards his pockets and away from them, like he didn't want the movement to be noticed. Donnie sighed.
"...Do I have an appointment with one of the doctors, Michael?"
Mikey's hand froze. That was enough confirmation for Donnie.
"Well… come on then."
Mikey hesitated but he slid his glasses case out and popped on his glasses. Leo shifted, casting his gaze on their little brother. Donnie warily watched Mikey's body language change from closed to open and amiable.
It was Dr.Feelings then.
"Donnie. We're worried about you."
Here we go.
"Is that so? I did not realize I had done anything to spark concern as of late," Donnie hummed neutrally, leaning forward on his arms.
"We got the sense that something might have changed. Perhaps you might be holding some particular worry–"
"You can be less vague Dr.Feelings."
Raph shifted uneasily. This was uncomfortable. Leo met his eyes and Raph knew the sentiment was shared. This was uncomfortable but he needed to know if his brother was okay. If Donnie was cool with them.
"Your gifts today–"
Donnie tensed. Leo and Raph immediately did as well, sensing the shift.
"–they were amazing and we all appreciated them of course. But it is unusual for you to give bought gifts–"
"You're worried because I bought gifts instead of making them this year?" Donnie summed up.
Mikey nodded.
Donnie met Leo's eyes and then looked at Raph. His brows furrowed in confusion.
"There's a problem with bought gifts? You guys bought some of your gifts too. I don't–"
"Look Dee," Leo sighed, "it's not a problem that they were bought. We love your gifts. I love your gift. It's awesome–"
"Then what is the problem? If you love the gift then that should be the end of it. What is there to be concerned about?"
"Donnie we're not concerned that the gifts are bought, we know you put a lot of thought into them but–"
"What we're trying to ask," Mikey soothed, holding his hands out in his lap, "is why, unlike all the previous years, you bought the gifts rather than making them? Is something wrong?"
Donnie's brows flew up his forehead.
"'Is something wrong?'"
Leo put his hands up.
"Don't get us wrong 'Tello–"
"You're asking if something is wrong? Is there something wrong with the gifts? What do you mean 'is something wrong?' I–"
Raph shifted to face his brother fully.
"Donnie, we're worried about you. This isn't normal for you–"
"'Isn't normal?!'"
Raph rewinded those words in his head and winced.
"Ok. That came out wrong–"
Mikey rushed to salvage the conversation.
"We're not saying there's something wrong Donnie. We wanted to talk about your feelings–"
"I gathered," Donnie humphed, "What I don't understand is what you all think there is to talk about?!"
"Your gifts are great bro but we're kind of getting a sense–"
"A 'sense?' Leo this better not be more of your twin nonsense–"
Leo bristled.
"It's not nonsense. We're tw–"
"I already told you, it isn't biologically possible–"
Leo stood up, glaring down at his twin who was definitely his twin.
"I don't know why 'biology' matters in our brotherly relation–"
Donnie stood up too and stared daggers back at him.
"We don't have 'twin telepathy' Leo, it isn't–"
"Scientific! I know! But whatever, we're not talking about that! We all get the sense–"
"Well you should get your senses checked out! There is nothing wrong with me!"
Raph stood up between the two, hands out to pacify his younger brothers.
"Donnie! We're just worried about you! This isn't like you!"
Donnie turned on Raph without hesitation.
"'Isn't like me?!' Just because I bought the gifts instead of making them you all think there's something horribly wrong with me–"
Dr.Feelings raised a finger to interject but his brothers continued to yell.
"That's not it! It's just that, y'know, it's like how you expect to get a birthday gift every year. It's just a little strange for us to not have a gift explode or–"
That was the wrong thing to say.
"Explode?! You think it's strange my gifts for you didn't explode?! You think it's so weird that my gifts weren't malfunctioning pieces of trash , is that it?!"
Raph furiously shook his head, grasping at straws.
"We love your gifts Donnie but–"
"It's so strange that you like my gifts?!"
Raph frantically backtracked.
"Raph didn't say that! Raph said–!"
"Oh it's not a problem that the gifts were bought ! Or that you don't like them ! The problem is that they're from me ?!"
"Yes!"
Mikey's whipped around to look at his eldest brother in disbelief.
" Raph! "
Raph put his hands up, mentally cursing himself. Process faster! Mind Raph!
"I mean no! No! Well yes, but not like that! Just like–!"
"Oh there must be something terribly wrong because Donnie's gifts don't need bullet proof vests to open this year! Donnie must have hit his head because everyone actually liked his gifts this year!"
Leo threw his hands in the air.
"Oh come on Donnie! That's not what we mean! You're always so sensitive–!"
" 'Sensitive?!'"
"–about this stuff! You're not listening–!"
Donnie guffawed.
"' Not listening?!' He says!"
"See! You're doing it right now! Taking everything we say out of context!"
"Oh someone got the big book words out!"
Leo put his hands on his head and just yelled in frustration. Dr. Feelings tried to take back control of the conversation.
"Donnie, listen. Is it possible that you are feeling–?"
Donnie pivoted and jutted a finger in Dr. Feelings's face.
"I'm not interested in your mind games , Dr. Feelings! I don't need you to poke at me and find something wrong! I am perfectly fine!"
This was going badly.
"Let's just calm down–"
"I don't need you to tell me how to feel! That's enough! I don't need to stand here and listen to this!"
Donnie pivoted towards the door and stomped across the room. Leo and Raph clamored after him.
"I have a drone offspring who is having his first Christmas–!"
"And we don't want to ruin that–!"
"You already have!"
"'Tello can you just sit back down and–?!"
"Don't pull out the childhood nicknames on me 'Nardo ! I don't need your–"
This was going very badly.
"Donnie–"
Donnie whipped around and glared daggers into him.
"I'm not talking to you Dr. Feelings! I don't need you to diagnose me for breathing in the air!"
This was turning into a train wreck of a feelings session and Dr. Feelings needed to get a handle on things before it spiraled out of control and Donnie left. Dr. Feelings needed to–
Dr. Feelings…
Mikey watched Donnie slap their brothers' hands off him and scowl, hand on the door knob as he yelled back at them.
Maybe Mikey needed to take his own advice.
Mikey reached up for his glasses and took them off. He put them back in their case and considered his brothers. He took a deep breath. His gaze dropped to his lap.
"I–!"
His brothers didn't take notice of him under their own screaming. Mikey took another deep breath and clenched his fists. You can do this Mikey!
"I feel–!"
His brothers continued to squabble.
" I'M JEALOUS!"
The room went silent. Mikey didn't look up.
"... I'm jealous that S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. got a handmade gift and I didn't. I feel… envious of him."
Mikey bit his lip. This was easier when he was Dr.Feelings or Dr.Delicate Touch.
"I feel angry because– because I like exchanging handmade gifts with you. I thought…"
Ok this is harder than he thought it would be. This hurt. He fiddled with his hands, struggling to find his words.
"...I like being the creative one with you. It always felt special when we'd exchange our projects and for Christmas… I worked really hard on your piece and… yours came with a gift receipt instead of your seal and that made me… sad."
"..."
"I was looking forward to whatever explosive techno-dohookey you made for me this year."
Mikey glanced up and saw Leo blushing, looking away from their purple brother. Donnie watched him intently, poker-faced and hand still on the door knob. But he didn't move to leave.
"I razz you a lot about your tech but… I like your gifts. It just doesn't feel like Christmas without your–uh. You know, your–"
Leo shook his hand in the air and kicked the ground.
"–Donnie-ness. It's like… it doesn't matter what you get me. It doesn't even matter whether I like it or not! I know you put a lot of thought into your gift this year and it is really cool, you did great but…"
Leo heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes at himself. He put his fingers up and did air quotes self-mockingly.
"'I feel'...scared?"
Leo cleared his throat and turned even further away from Donnie's eyes, crossing his arms.
"I mean not 'scared' just like I got used to your weird gifts. It made me a little iffy when things were different this year. Not because I didn't like your gift or because I didn't find it thoughtful. I just… your handmade gifts are special."
"...Raph was scared too–"
They collectively ignored Leo's disgruntled mumbling of 'not scared.'
"–I'm just… Ever since we were tots you always made our gifts."
Raph chuckled fondly, looking down at the ground.
"I'm not gonna lie some of them almost killed us but we got some good memories out of 'em right? I just never thought that would change."
Raph shook his head and looked up at Donnie nervously. Donnie just watched him silently as he started to ramble.
"It's not a bad thing if you want to change of course! We'll support you! You just took us by surprise is all! And it's fine if you like, were focusing on S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.'s gift this year or something and didn't have time or something! We don't want to complain! I love my bear! Really Donnie! It's rad! Totally rad! Thanks a bunch buddy! But like if it's just you thinking some kind of stuff in that big brain of yours pal then you should know uh that Raph loves your gifts, even when they're bad gifts! Not that your gifts are bad! I mean they're sometimes not great but–"
"Like the helmet I made you before."
Raph visibly stuttered. Donnie looked away from Raph and down at the door knob.
"Uh well yell, that was yeah but we were–"
"You didn't like them."
Leo looked over at the back of Donnie's head.
"Well, I mean–"
"According to my data, the vast majority of gifts I have given you which you didn't like were ones I made instead of bought. With few exceptions."
Raph scratched the back of his head.
"Ok but that doesn't mean–"
"Logically it means that you have historically liked gifts I have bought you and disliked those I made you."
Raph touched his forefingers together, at a loss.
"Well Donnie uh, sometimes–"
"You'd prefer to have a gift I made that you don't like than to have a gift you love with a gift receipt?"
" Yes ," Leo butted in. He slung his arm over Donnie's shoulder, leaning him into his shoulder. Donnie flashed him an annoyed glance without any actual spite behind it.
"Cool if you want to buy gifts for us bro but no more gift receipts hermano."
Donnie was confused.
"There's something wrong with gift receipts?"
"I think I hate them," he nodded.
Donnie looked baffled.
"It's a slip of paper–"
Leo nodded vigorously.
"An evil slip of paper."
Donnie shook his head and raised a brow.
"It allows you to return the gift if there is something wrong with the product? You can't trust chain stores–"
Mikey jumped on Donnie's back causing him to stumble but Leo supported them. He nuzzled Donnie's face with his own, sensing victory.
"Then you can just make them yourself and if something's wrong we can just nag you!"
"Scoff. As if you wouldn't already–"
Raph grabbed his purple brother's shoulders, being careful not to move his other brothers off him.
"Donnie. Point is, we love ya. And we love your dumb, murderous gifts. Even when we hate them. Even if we hate them a lot."
"I don't think–"
"Good. Stop thinking."
And Raph engulfed them in a hug. Leo and Mikey smushed Donnie in the center as smugly as possible, beaming at him.
"It's Christmas Donnie. Take a break."
"You don't need to think with family Don!"
"I'll say it again. I love you guys," Mikey purred contently.
Donnie rolled his eyes but then he smiled. He closed his eyes and huddled closer.
"...love you too," he replied in barely a whisper. But his brothers heard him. Raph squeezed them and they all started wheezing.
"Raph! Raph! Can't breathe!"
"Too tight, big guy! Too tight!"
"Aww," Mikey strained, "I really feel the– ack! The love."
"It's crushing my spine," Leo agreed in a wheeze.
"Oops." Raph dropped them. His brothers groaned in a pile on the ground.
"Sorry fellas."
Leo stuck up a thumbs up. They rolled off each other and made eye contact. They burst into laughter and shoved each other away.
Mikey leaned into Donnie's side. He looked down at him. Mikey grinned.
"So~?"
Donnie hummed nonchalantly and stood up. He put a hand on the doorknob but looked back at them.
"Don't regret it when your birthdays come up."
Leo whooped and engulfed Donnie in another hug before he could get through the door.
"Awwww! Donnie you big softie you!"
"Second group hug!"
Donnie rolled his eyes from the center of another family hug.
"Get off me."
"Where's your Christmas spirit?!" Leo whined, "You're supposed to love us more! Love us!"
Donnie activated his spider shell and smirked when they all fell off.
"Or I could crush you in another round of Drone Zone! Race to Your Death!"
S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. whooped, diving to circle around Donnie.
"Aw yeah! Rematch! Rematch!" He cheered.
"You losers are going down!" Leo crowed, hopping on his feet and pushing Donnie aside. Donnie grabbed his leg, tripping him and cackling. Mikey jumped over them.
"You're all gonna eat my dust!"
"You better watch your back Mikey! Raph's not going easy on yah this time!"
He was grouchy and tired, his right cranky old self,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And pressed all his buttons; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his goggles,
And giving a nod, through the menu he toggled;
Donnie sprang to his spot, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him mumble, ere he drove out of sight,
He liked Christmas after all, cause his family was right;
Gift giving was about money and thought and time,
It was about family and making and dimes,
But the most important thing in giving a gift,
Was not the present, not even a bit.
It was about people, receiving and giving
The memories they shared, and the experience of living.
Gifts could mean to someone a whole lot,
When the gift is given with a whole lotta thought.
But whether or not the present is bad,
Whether the receiver is angry or glad,
What made the gifts special was the people involved
Even if the present tried to murder you all.
The End