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So that is what all these Ylisseans fuss about? A snowflake fell to my right palm, burning it and making the part that was touched barely red. The white dots fell out from the sky and onto the ground, what once was an orange and yellow floor made out from the dead leaves, was slowly getting subsumed into a white canvas made out from solid water.
I turned my back away from the “unforgettable events”, walking straight into the door of the wooden house in the middle of this forest. For Grima’s sake, what a waste of precious seconds.
I closed the door right in front of me. The corridor in front of me leads into a series of rooms. Presumably, as that blue-haired easterner once said, there was a special room made for winter where there was an area to put fire to make yourself warm in the middle of it.
And yet, somehow, they decided that it was a good idea to make a whole holiday while stuck in the season where the trees and most animals are hibernating for survival and the food supply is scarcer than even the driest period in Plegia. They really wanted to find any excuses to justify this room.
Such an odd place.
I walked straight to my room. A few of those called shepherds gazed at me as I trudged towards my room.The easterners always stuck to themselves in the little group as they muttered something about holidays and how would commemorate such an occasion. Whenever I walked in front of some of them, they stared back at me.
Their stares don't matter that much compared to the study. I reach for the door belonging to my room. I opened it and then locked it, away from the prying eyes of those people. For now, there was only one thing worth doing in this place.
I walked to my desk, sitting on the farther end of the room, right on the left side of a window. My bed stood on the right side of the window. When I reached the desk, the title of the tome stared back at me.
On to matters which concern the mind and how hexes act with them as a phenomenon. I sat on the chair standing right in front of the desk and opened the book right open.
The mind reading hex was once thought to be the apex of all casts. Its ability to enter someone’s mind and read their thoughts was considered more than enough for practitioners to understand the human psyche and how it related to the energy that created dark magic in the first place.
But as time passed, this preconceived notion has shown to be flawed by itself. Reading into someone’s one thought is only a bare fraction of the human’s psyche. Reading what someone is thinking may be good enough for basic understanding of a person, but even with the most prepared of hexes, the Qualia couldn’t be understood or read out from someone’s mind.
I turned the page but my mind wandered away from the book’s topic and into the window on the right of the desk. Gazing at the little white bulbs hitting the window, some of it melted, clouding the window and others became stuck on it, making white stains on it.
In the process, the strands of lights were diminished by these ice patches combined with the clouds in the sky darkening. As such, I’m forced to light a candle.
So is staying in a house while being shielded away from the snow the reason that the easterners are so fascinated by time of year? But that would say that I was fascinated by the scorching heat because I had a roof above my head, utter nonsense.
Besides this wouldn’t even explain why they decided to commemorate beyond that joke explanation. There must be something, an important date or some happening of any kind that made the Ylissean create a holiday in the middle of this winter.
I turn my attention back to the text.
On the Qualia, what makes it so hard to be conjured up by this simple hex is because it exists beyond the realms of words. Take for example, when two different people of the same background see the same shade of blue. In spite of their identical nature, how their own subjective conscience reacts to it may be completely different at best, and at worse a sensation beyond what mere words can represent.
So the Ylisseans have a Qualia belonging to their people that makes this snow into a more pleasurable experience than usual? if so, this got so inscribed in their psyche that this outside burning substance is worthy of making a celebration for it?
Doubtful, the qualia is individual. This still doesn’t explain why they decided to create their festivities in this season, perhaps a more cultural reason was inbound and that would take the time away to do preparation for dark magic or… I could simply talk to any one of them and that would imply speaking with shepherds, which was a terrible idea.
I’m a dark mage after all, and they don’t bother with the people of my kind here.
I turned another page, the sheet was cold to the touch, my hands trembling and my teeth clacked against one and another. In response, I covered myself with my cape. The cold washed over my feet and worked itself from there.
Curse me, has that mass outside turned this place into a cold box? I return back to reading the book. It’s no good, my body is shaken by the cold. My eye wanders to my bed. Sadly, it isn’t even a proper place to take notes on.
I frown at my own thoughts. There is only one place in the entire house that may have a suitable temperature to work with. I raise myself from my chair and pick up the book, clutching it to my chest alongside my notations.
I mutter the worst hexes imaginable while opening the door.
How can someone in their conscious mind even try to live in a place with such brusque temperature falls?
If the blue-haired guy was right, if I kept moving forwards then I would arrive in the fireplace room. It would only be a time to find a suitable table where I could scribe my notations and work it from there
I shuddered as I got out of my room. The wooden housing barely retained any heat from before the snow had fallen and what was left was a frozen path where I thread to this room. Despite my body trembling in my room, the corridor was a gelid place where it felt that the cold was burning my body from head to toe. If only I had brought myself more suitable clothing.
A note to oneself. Find some Ylissean and hex them to find why they find this climate proper for human life
Then again, this like for severe winters seems to be a fundamental characteristic for Ylisseans. Even though they have to be stuck inside of this cabin and otherwise die from any disease related to this climate. Worst part, if this place is downright gelid then the outside has already turned into a wasteland of snow and dead trees.
What a horrifying environment. They may have complained about the excessive heat of plegia, the sand dunes eat away from the space but we have a constant temperature to work with everyday and no matter the season.
In practical terms, there is no chance I can go outside to find ingredients for a curse or studies which necessitates boiling. If I were only in Plegia, there would be no need to make these complaints at all.
if I were in Plegia, but Plegia is no more. The distance between Ylisse to the capital is enormous and for any deserters, there is no kindness to be found.
Besides, the vessel of Grima decided to live here instead. But why such an option? This is a land of people with stereotypical beliefs of a hero who saves the world no matter the circumstance and their belief that the Shepherd's leader dynasty are always going to be good people no matter what person’s real character may be.
Those people haven’t thought about what Ylissean have done to Plegians in their last wars.
Also, this is where the followers of Naga reside and keep worshiping her. Although, I presume, there is also a lack of faith amongst these people for their goddess. After all, someone who dares to claim himself as the representative of their own god in this plane of existence decided to help with their theological enemy.
I wonder what Robin’s qualia thought about these people to make it so that even when they returned back to their homeland, they decided that the future was better here than back home. Why? Why of all the possible events that happened, the vessel decided that it was for the best to stay with their theological enemy?
Were the Ylisseans that good of people to them?
Then again, should I be the one to judge the quality of their choice?
I was the one who decided to go with them instead of staying in plegia. For all my complaining, I had decided to stick with them and not with Validar and absolute buffoonery that is Grangel. May Grima hex his name for all of eternity.
As I plodded in the corridor, the odd groups of those Ylissean disappeared and the voices of another group arrived. As I approached the voices, the more I felt warmer and the less my body trembled.
As I was ready to enter the fireplace room, the image came to mind. The Ylisseans all around me and pestering about the topics that I researched. I glared back at them but they kept talking nonstop, not realizing that I was reading something.
I turned my back away from this place, thudding back to my room. The cold may be annoying but it doesn’t try to talk or intrude on my matters.
Once I returned all the way to my room, I locked it off and put all my belongings back on the table. In spite of the coldness of this room, if there wasn’t anyone around me to pester about my matter then the reading session would be way more than satisfactory.
I opened the book and got back to where I left off. In this tome. In this tome… In this tome.
In spite of the simple wording, my mind confuses the words in a sentence and their order gets mixed up. Once a phrase has been read, it soon goes to the void and is forgotten, forcing my back to read from the beginning of the sentence.
Added to that, my eyes also forget the start of the damned phrases. It looked around the text for where to start and always reached the same line, therefore making me stuck on reading the same words as a twisted form of punishment.
I sighed, closing the tome and falling into the chair.
I gazed at the hazy windows with the snow flowing from the ebbs in the clouds. The fog covered the great part of the view, only a few branches rose up from the grey cloud. How long had time passed since the beginning of the snow?
This house is a limbo. No way out from this coldness, only the barely read tome and those shepherds outside for anything beyond this new status quo.
What has happened to me? Who could I, a dark mage, be stuck thinking of not being able to get out from this stagnation? Dark magic doesn’t change whenever someone is in plegia or on the other side of Valm. The principles are all the same, the properties identical and the proofs are made with the universal premise which are always postulated, like a hexagon is always made out of 6 sides.
We are the one who upheld this world, we are the darkness which lurks from beneath every shadow and discovers the truth hidden upon it. Hexes are ways to deal with this reality and how this truth affects people.
There must be a way out from my own incapability. Whereupon I can read the tome in spite of this frozen purgatory I find myself into it.
But what is it compared to this so-called snow? This white-looking water ingrained in this frozen atmosphere, sapping away my forces like the dark barren tree of which only remains the branches of it and nothing else. What a poisonous venom this place is being.
Dear Grima, how much has boredom and coldness affected my mind?
I rubbed my brows, gruffing to myself. The tome with its tantalizing nature begged me to read it. But I could only stare back at it, without any of the forces to read it.
Has my mind gotten bored out from this primordial magic? Could all this discussion about qualia and how it reacted to dark magic turning me away from the dark arts? Have I thrown the word qualia like a simple buzzword turning itself into something so meaningless
How I dare myself to think so little of the dark arts! There is no possible way that I would abandon it, lest all of my life had been for nothing. Despite the gelid room and the dead tree standing in front of the window, my mind wandered.
There were dunes in the distance and water flowed amidst the greenery in front of the palace. My teacher was muttering about nosferatu and how it uses someone’s vital energy for it to properly work. The glimpses made me smile, although I frowned about it soon after.
Plegia, what a cursed place with its rotten upper crust. The land where Validar was its actual king with his disgusting puppet in the throne. We weren’t the good guys in any shape, way or form. It would be even more preferable that dark magic have found itself home in a place away from this place.
Would have I ever gotten out of there if it wasn’t for them? For all its faults, the climate was way more bearable than this cabin could ever hope to be. If it wasn’t for them, I would keep creating hex and going the battle against the easterners and nothing in the world would stop me from fighting those Robin call comrades. If it weren’t for them or had refute this offer what would have been me?
it would be madness to not follow the phenomenon that is Robin, the metaphysical question they pose and how Grima could inhabit someone in spite of the person not presenting any of the signs for it.
Yet, for all their worth. They stood amongst the shepherds and I could only look from the outside.
A knock came out from the door. I clutched my hand as I got up from the chair and walked upon it. “I shall hex you ” I muttered to myself and frowned as I unlocked the door and opened it.
A raven haired tall person wearing ylissean-like clothing gazed at me with the same eye color as mine, looking down as she shaked. I kept my frowned upon as we stood against one another. Silence reigned for a few seconds.
Of all people in this Grima-forsaken place, how I’m supposed to deal with her.
The woman was the first to speak, breaking the awkward silence between us. She clutched her left arm with her right hand, trying to stop her body from jeeping wobbling.
“I’m really sorry, mom. Sorry to have to interrupt you when you are studying. I only wished to talk with you.”
I nodded at her, keeping my frowned. She gulped, but I didn’t pay much attention to it. I got myself out of the way. The woman made her first step and then looked around with a frightened look on her face, trying to stay her mouth shut. She made another step and repeated the same procedure until she reached the middle of the room.
I closed the door, the hinges creaked. The tall woman stopped her wobbling once she heard the closed door. Instead, she stood still turning her head to face me with her eyes nervously awaiting my next movement.
I cocked my head at her action but I walked back to my chair, turning it around to face my so-called daughter.
“Why do you want to speak with me?” The question took her aback, making her move backwards and stare back at me. She rubbed her hair and laughed a quiet whimper back at me.
“Uhh… how can I say this? How is everything going with you, Mom” I humphed when hearing the question. Did just get out of her way to ask such an unnecessary question? The woman sighed while walking a step backwards away from me. I paid no attention to it, putting my thumb against my mouth, trying to find a suitable answer to her question.
“This place is uncomfortable at best and downright excruciating at worst. This climate is unsuitable for my studies and therefore I’m stuck without being able to continue any of my research.” My voice got angrier by every word muttered, before I realized I was clutching my hands, my nails drawing deep red marks unto my palms.
The woman put her arm in front of herself as if she were blocking herself from any attack. While this was happening she turned her face around, closing her eyelids as she waited for it.
I softened my frown, maintaining a more neutral expression to her. The woman opened her eyes, uncertain of my expression and little by little lowered her arms until she was standing normally with her face still averting meeting mine.
The silence continued on and on. She scratched her left arm as if waiting for me to do something. But I only kept my gaze at her, what topic could I even bring for someone who claimed to be my daughter?
I lowered my gaze and noticed her wobbly legs. The frozen wind had claimed us or something else. I glare at her before uttering anything. Damn it, damn it shall be her for such awkwardness. The girl stepped away from me once again. I broke the silence, pointing to bed with my left hand.
“Why aren’t you sitting down? The bed might suffice for it.” She blinked at me, then frowned to herself for some reason. She walked to the bed and sat on it. I turned my seat to face her.
“Thanks, mom” She said meekly as I kept staring at her, then again the awkward silence returned. It was maddening. She didn’t know what else to say or even keep talking, just staying in here if there was nothing else to be done and that it would be way too awkward to get out since she decided to start this whole ordeal right now.
I turned my eyes back to the tome. The matters about Qualia and hexes were somehow way less madness than this awful silence.
My eyes return to my so-called daughter. She fidgets her hands, her cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry that this place wasn’t comfortable for you, mom.” I maintain a bored stare, putting my hands together.
“Did you choose this place?” She immediately shakes her head and then gulps.
“Then there is no reason for you to apologize at all. You weren’t the one who made the mistake of making us stay in this forsaken place. Either way, are there any more reasons to make you stay here in my room? ”
I was annoyed at her. My mind reflecting back at the tome on the desk, even reading at this temperature was more bearable than this. The girl slushed herself until she hit the wall of the room, her voice coming out more like a whimper.
“Sorry mom, I only wished that I could speak more than what was normal. In the future, you weren't that much there at all. you were stuck in your room studying hex and curses after dad died.” I nod to her. I scowled at myself, more proof that I might be her mother after all.
The girl reacted by panting hard and having her eyes wide open. I lifted away my frown and she returned back to be more composed, instead staring at me with a forced smile.
“So what topic did you think then?” I asked her. Shee mumbled to herself and I glared at her. She jumped from the scare, before stuttering her words to me.
“I-I-I would want to see what dark-dark mage would be like. Why would my mom spend so much time on it? ” I nod to her, maintaining an indifferent look to it.
“Of course, you may be allowed to see what I do,” A little smile formed at her as she fidgeted her hand non stop. I raised my hand with my indicative finger. “But you shall not touch anything unless I give you my permission.” She nods to me.
“And as for the later question, dark magic is a magic that lurks beneath the veil of this existence. So elemental and twisted, practicing it would in some circumstances be a downright unpleasant and deadly art to apply yourself to-”
“So that is why you never taught me anything, you cursed being of a mother!” Noire suddenly screeches at me. Raising herself away from the bed and glaring down at me as she bared teeth at me. Her hands curled into anger.
I glare back at her, unfazed by the woman’s actions. The aggressiveness dies down when she blinks. She looks around confused then she notices my stares, she looks mortified at it. Stopping moving before replying back to me.
“I’m sorry! I don’t know what this other person is inside of me.” I stare back at her answer, could it somehow the future could have given birth to a person with more than two entities habiting in the same body? Note to self, make tests about her to verify if that is the case or not.
“Anyways, as I said before. You can’t touch anything, you are as far as I'm concerned only the basics of this subject and what it entails. Also you must be a test subject for any hexes.” Her eyes widen open at the mentions of hexes. She fidgets her hands, looking downwards at it.
“Do you object to it?” I ask in a harsh tone. She stops fidgeting her hands, and flails her hands around. “Not at all, ma’am!” Her eyes don’t match her speech which looks at me with an empty stare as if she was gazing at something far away from me.
I lift myself away from the chair and gaze back at the tome. Perhaps, she could very much be an excellent test subject for this hex. If I could find the qualia and be able to get a feeling for it, then a greater understanding on the effects of the metaphysical phenomena occurs to the mind shall concur.
I look back at the girl staring absently at me. She once again became statue-like, not moving a finger until she noticed once again my gaze at her. At the focus of her attention, her right arms grabbed her left arm and walked backwards away from me.
“Good answer. Then we shall begin.” I said while cracking the book wide open. The hex contained in this tome may be conjured in multiple ways(....) the simplest way, if time is of a concern, carving the physical hex into someone's body is a valid option. Despite its rather crude nature with a component of physical trauma, it would work just fine. Otherwise the other methods are way more well-suited than this one could ever hope to achieve.
My mind wanders back at the girl and back into the book. Who would one with the proper mental status would even consider such an option. My eyes gaze back at the girl, she gulps at my action, trembling at it. She taps her foot at it as if it wasn’t the first action she ever made while holding her breath
How odd. I close my book, the girl immediately releases her breath in relief. There is something wrong. I walk towards her, step by step she curls herself into a ball of thoughts as the trembling gets worse. In spite of the coldness, my body had stopped trembling and I stopped to think.
What happened to the poor girl? Who would go to such lengths that would make a simple hex be the biggest monster that could ever appear in the face of this existence. No, I must confirm something.
“Noire, did the future me make you as a test subject” Her head uncurls away from the frightened ball and looks back at me.
“She did. But don’t worry, mom. I shall keep being a good test subject for you. there is not even a need for you to restrain me anymore. I can keep control of myself while you test your hexes”
I stare at her blankly. I was that person, or in this case, I would turn into that person? What is wrong with my future self?
“Understood. So you aren’t going to be the test subject anymore. Just watching me read and explain a little bit of theory of dark magic shall suffice for the time being ”
Noir unfurled herself away from the ball, staring at me with her eyes wide open. “But how are you will be able to do anything related to your work, mom?” I gruff at my futureself, how dare she make her so illiterate into the dark magic to not even allow her to know the bare basics. at least, she wouldn’t be this clueless on it.
“That is fine, being with me and asking questions, shall suffice. I overestimated you on your abilities on dark magic and much to my chagrin, I would rather not get yourself in the inner workings of this magic, it would be for the better if you knew the basics with me.” I reply back to her. She gazes at me.
There wasn’t any smile on her face but she stood there watching at me without trembling her body, looking at me curious as I walked away from my desk and got in search for any suitable books for an apprentice for dark mages.
In spite of the snowing day, the room felt a little bit less cold in this foreign land.