Chapter Text
Bumblebee Gone Astray – Part 3
-Zoro-
"And defeated once again," he grinned broadly and simply sat down on his Captain as if he were a pillow. "How often do I have to repeat it? You have to assess your strength better, especially in such tight spaces, otherwise you'll just knock yourself out."
"That's unfair," Luffy whined, crossing his arms without making the slightest attempt of getting up. "You're cheating!"
"I don't even fight with a sword, so don't complain," Zoro replied with little sympathy, rubbing his upper arm, which showed a hefty bruise from the previous day. "You're definitely making it too easy for me that way. I thought you wanted to get serious."
Luffy lifted his head slightly and looked at him grumpily for a moment, then angrily slammed the back of his head on the ground, causing the whole lookout to tremble.
"I am serious! But hardly any of my attacks hit you, and it's really unfair that my Conqueror’s Haki can't hurt you."
Yes, all of that was true. Zoro was well aware of this. It was kind of funny. He knew exactly what Luffy was doing wrong. Training with Mihawk had taught him to analyze mistakes and take advantage of them, and that's why Luffy hadn't beaten him even once in the last two days. Because that was the one thing Luffy was really not good at, although even he had gotten better over the two years of training.
There was no question about it, Luffy was superior to him in all respects, his Haki was stronger, he himself was stronger, even faster, the devil's power did the rest. But he didn't manage to defeat Zoro, had landed just three hits in total during all their fights – with the bruises clearly showing and still hurting – and in the end, Luffy himself was down each time.
The reason for this was very simple. Luffy's fighting style relied on space. He needed space to use his strongest techniques, and he couldn't take his surroundings into account, destroying a lot of things in doubt. His speed also depended on how much space he had, how freely he could move. In addition, he usually had to warm up a bit before he could really get serious. He simply did not manage to build up the necessary tension in his body within the first three to five seconds of a fight, he needed at least a few minutes to do so. In addition, his attacks were mostly designed to hit big targets, to hit them hard. They didn't have to be accurate, they just had to hit.
And that was Zoro's advantage. In his current body, out there, on some island, some battlefield, he wouldn't have the slightest chance against Luffy. Maybe a single real attack would be enough to defeat him, he didn't want to rule that out. But here, in the confined space of the lookout, which neither of them wanted to damage – Franky's tellings-off were even more annoying than Nami's when it came to the Sunny – he was superior to Luffy.
Because this was where the benefits of this body came into their own. In his own, Zoro would probably have similar problems as Luffy. His techniques, too, relied on strength, on space, on destruction. Unlike Luffy, he had learned under Mihawk's leadership to be deadly in the first attack, to attack purposefully and efficiently, even in a small space, but against an opponent like Luffy that would of course not be enough, for that he would also need all his strength in his body and therefore also space. But he also knew the other ways, had worked them out in order to be able to survive in this body.
Luffy's attacks were coarse, and Zoro's body offered little surface area to attack, his legs were fast, his limbs agile. His attacks themselves were unpleasant for Luffy, but the truth was that Zoro simply lacked the strength to seriously hurt him, at least without swords. But his attacks didn't have to be the decisive hits, he just had to throw Luffy off balance, disturb him a bit, distract him a bit, and then Luffy himself did the rest when he knocked himself out. And yes, it was a bit funny to watch.
The best moment had probably been when Luffy had used his Conqueror’s Haki in frustration. Zoro couldn't use Conqueror’s Haki in this form, even now, though he could in his own body. According to Mihawk, he probably never would – Zoro didn't want to know how this bastard always knew such a thing – but during those two years, Zoro had of course wanted to learn how to defend himself against foreign Conqueror’s Haki.
He remembered well how Mihawk had used his Conqueror’s Haki on Zoro, emphasizing that he had only used a few percent of his full strength, while Zoro had already trembled under this immense energy. However, he had become accustomed to these forces very quickly and had been able to defend himself reasonably after just a few sessions. After just a few days, the sword master's Conqueror’s Haki had hardly bothered him anymore, as long as Mihawk hadn't gone all out.
It was similar for Zoro in his real body when Luffy used his Haki. He couldn't keep up with that force by a long shot, but on the other hand, even Luffy's strongest Conqueror’s Haki couldn't make him sway, not even make him shudder, and he knew that it always annoyed Luffy a bit, goaded him a bit.
In this body it was different. His Armament Haki was much weaker, but Observation Haki was easier for him. At the same time, others could not perceive him, not even when he was fighting. Why nobody could sense him, Zoro didn't know, whether it was the strengths and weaknesses of this body or had to do with the fact that he had been on the other side. But he remembered with satisfaction how Mihawk had stared at him in amazement when he had used his Conqueror’s Haki and nothing had happened. Zoro had looked at him, asked when he was going to start, and the former Shichibukai had become stunned, briefly furious, and then far too curious. It was a small trump card, but with the disadvantage that Zoro himself didn't necessarily notice when Conqueror’s Haki was used.
He had seen Luffy's frustration the previous afternoon after he knocked himself out again and just couldn't hit Zoro no matter what he tried. Presumably, he had just wanted to disturb Zoro a little, to interfere with his movements, to slow him down – maybe more, that would have been fine with Zoro – but it hadn't worked. Zoro had noticed from the trembling glass in the lookout what Luffy was doing, but he couldn't feel it himself, for whatever reason, even though he knew exactly how it must feel.
Whatever it was, Luffy's contingency plan had failed, and he had reverted to his crude attacks.
"That's frustrating," Luffy grumbled as Zoro stood up and stretched.
"Tell me about it,” he said dryly, holding out a hand to Luffy and pulling him up. "Rematch?"
"Of course, but only until lunch."
He grinned. "Well, then just beat me until then."
"You’re a meanie."
He was not naïve. Yes, Zoro was grateful that Luffy was fighting with him, for several days in a row now. It distracted him, it was fun for him, and in fact, it helped him with his training as well. But just because he was able to hold his own against Luffy here in these ideal circumstances didn't mean he got cocky.
No matter how well he could keep Luffy at bay, he knew, and Luffy knew it too, without Zoro having to tell him, just as Mihawk didn't need to tell him back then. Zoro might be able to mold even this body into that of a fighter, he might become an excellent swordsman, in time, if he got the time to catch up on his weaknesses, to close the gap in strength with his real body, and he might one day be among the best, but to become the best, that...
They were interrupted by the Cook, who called for dinner down in the meadow and of course this immediately destroyed any concentration that Luffy had previously maintained.
Zoro grabbed his shirt and put it on.
“Hey, Zoro!“
"Mhm?" he turned around, Luffy stood at the exit and looked at him seriously.
"I'm going to be the King of the Pirates."
He felt the sun at his back.
"And I expect nothing less from you than becoming the best swordsman in the world."
They looked at each other.
"I don't have anything less in mind."
Luffy grinned.
"Well, then everything's fine."
I don't have anything less in mind.
He snorted softly. He had meant those words. He had nothing less in mind than becoming the best swordsman in the world. And he also knew perfectly well that these had been exactly his thoughts, back on Sasaki, when he had realized for the very first time that he was in another body. He had been angry, desperate, confused, but a small voice had made itself heard in all the tumult. No matter what obstacles, what losses, what body, he had vowed at that moment not to deviate from his path. He still remembered that he would have given anything to be able to return to the crew on Sasaki. He hadn't cared about his body, the main thing had been to get back, the only thing had been to get back.
But now things were different. On one hand, he knew by now about the limits of this body and that he would never become strong enough, and on the other hand, in the end he had regained his body. He had trained his body for two hard years. He had returned with his body.
Back then, he might have been able to come to terms with the situation, but now he couldn't. Not when he saw how much the Cook was struggling. Not when he saw how insecure Nami had been when she'd found out. Not when he saw his own look in the mirror.
But the truth was that maybe he had to learn to come to terms with it. He wasn't naïve enough to believe that Jade had an answer to everything — if she was willing to help him at all, even she would eventually reach her limits — and even if she did, that didn't mean her answer was what he wanted to hear.
Two years ago, it had been an incredibly frustrating idea, now he thought it was almost impossible. Now of all times. Why now? He had been on such a good path, almost there, almost there! At the same time, the dangers of the New World were of a very different caliber than before, and he knew he wouldn’t have made it this far in this body. If he were to be in this weak body from now on, it would mean a decisive disadvantage not only for him, but for the entire crew.
The others might take this for granted, defending and protecting him without hesitation if they had to, but that didn't change the fact that their overall fighting power had decreased, and in past battles they couldn't have afforded that, and he knew it! Even if they didn't know, even if Luffy wanted to ignore it, he knew! So he couldn't just do nothing. He couldn't just accept it when he knew they needed his strength to survive the adventures ahead.
It wasn't just frustrating, it was grueling. He knew how important his strength was to the crew, and he didn't know what to do. And Luffy had just told him. Today he was allowed to doubt, today he was allowed to be weak, but as soon as the sun rose, he had to be strong, that's what Luffy expected of him, that's what he expected of himself, but right now the doubts predominated. Could he even do in this body what he had to do for this crew?
He kind of knew what Mihawk would say — that he had other strengths with which he could be useful to the crew, and that maybe others in the crew could finally start to reach their potential — but that wasn't what he thought, not what he wanted. He wanted to fight, and not just against some minions. He wanted to fight and win against the strongest, but that just wasn't possible in this body. And that sucked!
"Well, are you skipping dinner again? Sanji will be pissed."
He didn't react as Nami sauntered over to him, leaning against the railing next to him.
"What are you even doing out here? Was quite surprised you weren't in the lookout."
"And what do you want?" he grumbled, unimpressed. "Don’t tell me, this is going to be another one of your weird check-up talks?"
She grinned. "Exactly that’s what it is."
"No, forget it. I’m not up to that right now."
"I don't really care."
He glared at her, but she was not impressed. "How are you, Zoro?"
Snorting, he looked away at the dark sea. "It's no different than the last few days," he grumbled.
"And that means?" she probed. Oh, how annoying she was when she was in such a mood.
"What do you want to hear from me?" he said, looking at her with a roll of his eyes. “I can't transform, the Cook is sneaking around me like he could explode at any second and..." Shaking his head, he looked away.
"And?" He felt her gaze on him. "I knew those two things, but apparently there is a third..."
He didn't answer and so they were silent until Nami finally sighed. "You know, I'm certainly not as stubborn as you or Luffy, and I'm not as patient as Robin or Jinbei, nor as eager to mess with you as Sanji. But it's obvious that the situation is weighing on you, and it's not going to get better just because you bottle it up. So, what's going on?"
He exhaled deeply. In fact, he had to admit that he got along much better with her ways. Nami had a directness and toughness in such things that he found pleasant, no complicated games like Robin, no annoying emotions like the Cook, no beating around the bush like Usopp. She was annoying and he shouldn't think she wasn't trying to manipulate him too, but in those moments, they got along well. Although, of course, he would never admit it.
"You know it already," he finally relented and looked at her. “I can't do my job within this crew in this form."
"Your job?" She tilted her head, then her eyes widened. "Why not?"
He snorted. "Oh come on. Don’t tell me you haven't noticed how much weaker I am in this body."
"No, I’m not saying that."
"And I'm not saying I'm totally weak. I’m not, not even in this body, I've trained it hard. But I can't keep up with my actual skills and if we have opponents like we had so far or even stronger ones – which is only a matter of time given our luck – then I won't be able to do as much as... Then I won't be able to do enough."
And he knew that, no matter what Luffy said, no matter what Luffy demanded of him.
Nami was silent for a moment, then sighed. "Yes, it's true that it's not just your strength that is affected, but the combat power of the crew as a whole. We are certainly weaker right now than if you were in your actual body. But I don't think this body is preventing you from doing your job."
"Tze, stop this crap. You just said yourself that I..."
"What do you think your job is? I mean, within the crew? Because sure, you do most of the night watches, because you idiot always think you have to train throughout the whole night, but otherwise you're really only suitable for patching sails, because it’s not like you can do anything else useful and Sanji wouldn't even let you near the stove." She looked at him coldly, and Zoro didn't understand her. "Well, how do I say this? I think we both have a completely different idea of what your job in the crew is. You know, I don't care how strong you are, I'm still always worried because you're always looking for shitty opponents."
"And yet you're glad I deal with them and not you," he remarked dryly, still having absolutely no idea what she meant.
"Of course, I wouldn't stand a chance against most of them. But that's not so important." He scoffed softly; it wasn’t important whether he was fighting the strongest? Their priorities were apparently quite divergent. But Nami just looked at him, shook her head slightly. "You weren't there, you don't know. But Zoro, when you were gone, after Senichi, we... It wasn't about combat power, you know?"
Hadn't he preferred how direct she could be? Now he was getting uncomfortable. He didn't like to think back. That he had abandoned them, had left them alone, unprotected. He didn't know if his presence at the Sabaody Archipelago back then would have changed anything, but he would have liked to try. He would have liked to try to protect them.
"Yes, it's true, you're strong and that's what the rest of us rely on, perhaps far too often. But I'm not talking about your physical strength – even though it's true that we like to rely on it sometimes as well." But she didn't smile as she withstood his gaze, looked at him far too seriously. "You know, Zoro, you are our rock. You are the one who stays strong when the rest of us get weak or insecure. Who stays hard and clear when we want to defer or let our emotions lull us, and you are the one who... The captain makes the decisions, but even the captain needs someone to help him... Even the captain sometimes needs a rock in troubled water."
I was here and I had to tell Luffy that you died!
He swallowed, but Nami looked at the sea, it was rare that he saw her so... She looked weak, almost fragile, then she looked at him and he liked it even less; he preferred the scratchy weather witch. "You think you're the protector of the crew. That may be, but not in the way you think. Without you, we almost fell apart."
I held the crying Nami!
"If Luffy had doubted your survival, your return for even a second, we would have been broken. Not because of Kuma, not because of a damn admiral, but because our rock was missing." She looked at the sea again, and he imagined that her eyes shimmered in the dim light. But he had to be wrong, he wanted to be wrong. "It may be that we lose combat power, but we can handle that, we will handle it. But we can't lose you. This crew won't survive that again."
I climbed out of the bunk at night because Chopper was sobbing and didn't dare to climb into a different bunk than yours!
Zoro didn't reply. Right now, he couldn't help but think back to his argument with the Cook. At the time, he hadn't really understood what the Cook had thrown at him. But now he did. Sighing softly, he admitted defeat. She wanted to talk? She wanted the truth?
"And what if I'm not so strong anymore?" he asked, glancing sideways at her, feeling the doubts gnawing at him. "What if it's not just combat power that I've lost, that we've lost?"
Nami tilted her head slightly. "What do you mean? What are you talking about?"
"Well, I... What if I can never transform again?" He took a deep breath and looked at her as he admitted to her and to himself his doubts, which he had never wanted to say out loud. "What if I could only have my body for a certain amount of time, and that is now used up?"
Voices came from somewhere behind them. The Cook was calling the others to dinner, and Zoro wanted to break off the conversation now, but Nami smiled, and he never had expected that. He never thought he would need it.
"Then that's just the way it is." She didn't sugarcoat it, she didn't sugarcoat their, his problem, and he knew she understood his doubts, his fears. "If you can never transform again, then so be it, then we can't change it, and then you will probably have to stay in this body."
At last, someone said it, at last it was in the world.
Then Nami nodded and shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, we can ask Sanji and Luffy if we can go to see Ivankov, but I don't know if he can give you your body back or just make this one male, and even if he does, until then, it's going to suck for you for sure."
He hadn't even thought about that yet. True, there were devil fruits that could affect the body, the sex, but he also knew that it would not help him. Sure, having his period sucked, but other than that, he didn't really care what genitals he had, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that this body wasn't made for fighting, not like his, and that wouldn't change much if Ivankov pumped it full of male hormones. Also, it probably wouldn't be permanent, like with his hair, he'd probably look the same every morning again, so no, it wasn't an option, never had been.
"And you'll probably completely move into the lookout and do nothing but train day in and day out," Nami continued, unaware of his thoughts. "I don't want to pretend that it's not a problem for the rest of us. We're all going to have to get used to it – and I don't know how many times you're going to fight with Sanji – but as I said, we may lack fighting power, but not your mental strength, so we can handle anything, even this. If you allow us to help you."
He really had not expected it, but somehow her words were... They made it a little easier.
"It's going to be incredibly annoying," he finally grumbled, "I'm so frustrated."
"I can imagine." She shrugged. "No wonder, you've always courted Luffy for the worst enemies, and you won't be able to do that now, at least for a while. I would be grateful for that, but I understand that you work differently in that regard. You enjoy fighting against overpowered opponents, for whatever reason; you're a bit insane. And I know how eager you are to fight Hawk Eyes, and that would probably take a little longer."
I expect nothing less from you than becoming the best swordsman in the world.
He snorted. "A little longer? It's impossible with this body."
She stared at him.
"You didn’t say that right now, did you?"
He rolled his eyes. "Oh come on. Even you must have realized how much weaker I am?"
"Yes, so what?"
I don't have anything less in mind.
"So what? How am I supposed to defeat the best swordsman in the world when I haven't even managed to close the gap between this and my original body in the past two years?"
Stunned, she stared at him. "Okay… tell me, are you like copying Hawk Eyes’ pessimism, or what's going on?" Before he could reply, she went on. "Weren't you the idiot who wanted to chop off both your feet and then fight on like that?"
He looked at her in surprise.
"Yes, but that was before I knew it would be impossible!"
"It would be impossible?" She looked at him almost condescendingly. "But you always do this kind of crap. Things that a normal person would think shouldn't be possible, even back then in the East Blue, against Arlong, against Enel, seriously, you shouldn't be alive anymore, Zoro. You were dead, you know? You're like a bumblebee."
...
"Wha... what?"
She showed a pitying smile. "Okay, how do I explain? You know, I don't think you're aware of it sometimes, but you and Luffy, you two idiots, you often do things that should be impossible." She looked at him almost pained. “And I don't know, maybe Hawk Eyes said that you can't defeat him in this body, and because he's the best swordsman in the world and it's probably logically impossible, you believe him. He probably is right."
And how was that supposed to build him up now? But then Nami grinned again.
"Oh come on, the guy is smart, I'm sure he's right. But I'm telling you, fuck that shit!" Her smile grew, and somehow there was something insane about it, like when she was talking about money. "Okay, then it is impossible, so what? So you’re not even going to give it a try? So you just stop training? As if! You can’t be serious! No, wouldn't it be much cooler to give the lie to Hawk Eyes’ logic? I can already see the newspaper, and everyone is freaking out because the lovely little Lady Loreen has mopped the floor with Hawk Eyes. You could show it to everybody. To the world, to Hawk Eyes, to Sanji, and to yourself, too."
He just stared at her as her words echoed through him, but she was still grinning.
"You're worried because you think you're the protector of the crew because you're so strong, and that we now have a problem because you're weaker? Okay fine, then just become strong enough again that you can protect us all; I would love to accept this offer. But honestly, if you wanted to pursue your dream with your feet chopped off, then you can certainly do that in this body, right? Since when are you letting such a trifle stop you?"
Zoro looked at her and for a moment he didn't think of anything. She was right. Mihawk might be right, but Mihawk had always underestimated him. It would take him longer, but Mihawk was nowhere near to getting weaker, he still had time. He still had plenty of time. And then it clicked. Of course, she was right. He still had plenty of time. Sure, he'd rather fight Mihawk today than tomorrow, but what satisfaction had it given him to defeat Kanan in this body. What would it feel like to beat up the Cook in that body? It was a challenge, an impossible challenge, and that's what he enjoyed most about fighting.
So be weak now, doubt, cry, break. And tomorrow morning you will be strong again so that the crew can count on you.
"Wow," he murmured, rubbing the back of his neck, noticing how he grinned. "You're really good at this." Then he looked at her. "A bumblebee?"
She laughed, "Oh, you know. There used to be a theory that bumblebees should not be physically able to fly. There was this joke about it, that apparently no one had told the bumblebees that they can't fly, so they fly." She shrugged. "Logically, at the time, people just thought it was impossible because they had miscalculated. The bumblebees knew better and just made it happen."
Shaking his head, he sighed. "A bumblebee, then."
They were silent for a few quiet minutes while he thought. Of course, there was still a small chance that Jade had a solution, but right now, at this moment, it wasn't quite so grueling if not.
"Thank you," he finally said. "I'm feeling better now."
"No surprise. You really shouldn’t try to think that much just because Hawk Eyes likes to do it. You're not him, it's not good for you; you might end up breaking something."
She grinned wickedly at him as he looked back, unimpressed. Then he looked at the sea, by now he could hardly make out the waves. But the Sunny was brightly lit, and it was pleasantly warm.
"Hey, can I ask you something?"
"Huh?"
"How can you deal with the Cook? I can't stand it, but you and Robin..." He didn't speak any further, but Nami next to him sighed.
"Well, Sanji isn't all bad stuff." He snorted incredulously. "Really, yes, he's a voyeur and sometimes a pervert, but he's also a gentleman and if he’s able to turn off all those weird tics for once, he actually is a pretty good friend."
"Tze."
"No, honestly. I know it's annoying. But you know, unlike you, I grew up with these looks, with these remarks, and with some assholes it doesn't stop there. It's toughening and I've found my way to take advantage of this behavior. Maybe not always fair, but hey, it's their own fault." He noticed her gaze. "You didn't know those looks before, and as Lady Loreen, you've been in social realms where people might be a little better at restraining themselves – Hawk Eyes’ presence will have done the rest – so you don't know that there are many idiots out there far worse than Sanji."
"That doesn't make it any better," he said. "Just because there are worse bastards doesn't make the way he acts any more decent. And just because he's otherwise a good guy or whatever doesn't change his shitty behavior."
"No, you're right," Nami murmured next to him. "But he, too, will learn. Give it some time."
Enough time.
"You're too good-natured," he grumbled, “didn’t know that before."
He didn't even dodge her blow, enjoying the slight tugging. It wasn't that strong after all, even though he would certainly have a bruise the next day.
"Well, you can be sure that I’m not the one taken advantage of in the end." She grinned at him. "And while we're at it, Sanji certainly doesn't like it when you miss another meal. Come, let's have something to eat before you go back to your lookout."
"You can stop pretending to be so benevolent, it’s getting creepy."
"You're such an ass. I was just trying to be nice."
He had already followed her two steps, then stopped. Surprised, she turned to him.
"You think they'll be able to handle it?" he asked directly.
She tilted her head slightly and then smiled. "They already do. It's just a bit unfamiliar. For all of us, unlike you, we haven't had years to get used to this body. And you don't really make it any easier for yourself when you're half-naked in front of Sanji in the cabin." Then she showed a thoughtful expression. "Well, I personally wouldn't have a problem if you wanted to move in with Robin and me if you want to avoid those moments. You usually don't sleep at night anyway."
He snorted. "There's no way I'm going to move in with you women just because the Cook can't handle my breasts."
"It was just an offer," she said lightly and walked on.
And that's when he became aware of something.
"Hey, where do you and Robin have all that period stuff?"
She looked at him in surprise as he followed her.
"Oh? Do you... Do you need some?"
"I don't think so. But normally I'm only in this body for a few hours at a time, so I never bothered." Nami made a slightly pained expression. "But maybe that's different now, so..."
He followed her into the galley, where, as always, there was a wild hustle and bustle for dinner, but Nami only gave him a smile, as if she was telling him a secret.
"I'll show you everything after dinner. And if there's anything else, you have two crewmembers who have been familiar with these bodies for a while." She winked at him and then abruptly interrupted Franky, who seemed to be very confused by her statement and made no secret of it.