Chapter Text
A weight draped over Yaz’s side, heavier, warmer, and more comfortable than any blanket. That warmth spread all along her back and continued down between her legs. Pressure on her center turned her dream thoughts hot and throbbing. The weight at her back moved and she shifted her hips, trying to relieve the pulse between her legs, sliding against smooth skin.
Yaz woke with a gasp.
Jo’s arm tightened and her fingertips twitched against Yaz’s nipple. “Yaz? Oh. Oh, sorry.” Jo’s lips brushed Yaz’s ear and the low, sleepy sound of her voice increased the throbbing in Yaz’s center.
The mattress dipped as Jo tried to pull away. Yaz reached back and gripped her hip. “It’s okay. Stay, please.”
Jo pressed herself against Yaz’s back and let out a sound halfway between a hum and a groan. Her chin settled against Yaz’s shoulder. “Well good morning, then.” She bent her knee and her thigh moved against Yaz again.
“It is,” Yaz said. She rocked her hips, reveling in the drag against Jo’s skin.
Jo reached around to palm her breasts, snaking one arm underneath her. It was warm and comfortable—Jo surrounded her, and there was that tenderness again as Jo kissed her shoulder.
Throbbing warmth built in Yaz’s center, but she was in no hurry. She rocked her hips again, and when her backside pushed against Jo an indrawn breath tickled her ear. Jo clenched her breasts harder and rolled a nipple between two fingers.
That injected more urgency into Yaz, and she ground herself harder against Jo’s thigh. Jo shifted, pushing one hand between them to touch herself. Yaz felt her hand moving as she chased her own pleasure.
“You feel so good, Yaz.”
Yaz threw her head back, knocking into Jo’s shoulder, and Jo kissed her neck. Soft, barely there, but enough to wind her up even further. Jo gripped Yaz’s hip with her free hand, caught up in her own pleasure. The desperate breaths in Yaz’s ear urged her on, and she dragged her center against Jo with wilder thrusts until she teetered on the edge.
“Come for me, Yaz. I want to feel you.”
Yaz’s breath caught. She moved faster, and Jo’s arm pumped behind her. The thought of Jo feeling Yaz’s wetness sliding along her thigh as she touched herself sent Yaz over the edge. She came with a gasp, and Jo’s movements became more urgent. Yaz pushed herself against Jo, feeling Jo’s nipples drag against her back, Jo’s arm against her backside. And then Jo came with a shudder that did nothing to calm the frantic beat of Yaz’s heart.
They lay quiet in the still-dark morning until their breaths evened out. “I’m not really one for goodbyes, Yaz,” Jo whispered.
Yaz turned around to look her in the eyes. They were shuttered, her face relaxed but closed-off, almost expressionless.
“I wish this didn’t have to end,” Yaz said. “But I have to get back home.” Home, with its everyday routines and boredom. With her family, who she loved, but who drove her crazy. With her job, an endless hole that she couldn’t seem to dig her way out of.
“Yeah.” Jo rolled onto her back and closed her eyes.
Yaz waited for a long time, but Jo said nothing else. Her breathing evened out and her face fell slack. She was serene, beautiful, and not Yaz’s.
But Yaz could pretend, for a little bit longer. She threw an arm over Jo’s waist and let exhaustion pull her back under.
When Yaz woke again, Jo was gone. She didn’t turn up when Yaz shuffled to the kitchen for breakfast, nor by the time Yaz had showered and dressed for the day.
Not one for goodbyes, indeed. She'd probably already moved on to the next adventure.
No, it wasn’t jealousy that bit Yaz at the thought. Just disappointment, though she shouldn’t feel that way. This place wasn’t Yaz’s home, this life wasn’t hers, and Jo belonged to no one but herself.
Yaz sighed and packed her suitcase. She still had a few hours before she needed to head to the airport, so she walked to the beach to see the ocean one last time.
She walked along the Malecón, smiling at the memory of Jo’s enthusiasm at the sculptures and the views. Yaz spotted a shop across the street and ducked inside to find a few gifts for her family. A cafe next door had seating that looked out over the beach, so she ate lunch while watching the waves.
She sat on a bench at the base of the first sculpture they’d seen on Sunday. The bronze woman holding the dove shone in the sun. Yaz didn’t analyze the crowd walking by. She took no note of possible escape routes from the boardwalk. PC Khan was silent.
Yaz didn’t miss her at all.
Her job had been in the back of her mind this week, but she hadn’t once missed it. The goal had been to return refreshed and ready to tackle the challenges with a clear head, but Yaz didn’t feel ready to do that at all. Disappearing back into the routine of job, family, home… the idea of it filled her with dread.
She pulled out her phone. What if I didn’t go back to my job? she sent to Sonya.
A few seconds later, the phone rang. “Are you serious?” Sonya asked before Yaz could greet her.
Yaz stared at the waves churning behind the sculpture. “I think so.”
“Must have been some holiday.”
“Yeah.”
“If it’s what you want, I think it’s the right move,” Sonya said. “Mum and dad are gonna kill you, but still.”
Yaz stood and strolled down the boardwalk, weaving through people, her eyes on the ocean. Headed nowhere in particular, but she needed to move. “Am I really thinking this? All I ever wanted was to join the police, ever since…”
“I know. But that doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind.”
“It seemed like such an easy answer, at the time. A straightforward path. But I want more.”
“Then you should hang up, right now,” Sonya said.
Yaz halted. Someone banged a shoulder into her back as they passed by, thrown off by her sudden stop. “What?”
“You should hang up right now and call your boss. Before you lose your nerve.”
What was the plan here? Turn up at work on Monday and hand in her resignation? Sonya was right. Yaz would talk herself out of it before then. She needed a change, and she needed it now. Not after sitting on a decision for months, as she had the habit of doing.
“All right.” Sonya was silent long enough that Yaz pulled the phone back from her ear and checked to see if it was still connected. “Sonya?”
“I didn’t expect that to actually work. You really are serious about this.”
This week had stirred up so many feelings Yaz didn’t understand, things she would be thinking through for some time to come. But the more she thought about leaving her job, the more certain she became about it.
“I am. I’ll text you later, thanks.” Yaz hung up. She started walking again and her stomach flopped as she found her boss’s contact information. Before she could second-guess herself, she called.
Sunder picked up immediately. “Yaz? Is there a problem? Aren’t you still on holiday? Mexico, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah. I am. Listen, Sunder, I’m quitting. I’ve been thinking about it, and I don’t think it’s working out.”
“What? Yaz, you’ve been gone all week. I’m sure you’ve had a good time. But why don’t you come in and talk to me about this on Monday? If it’s about your probation…”
“It’s not just that,” Yaz said. “The job’s not what I thought it was.”
“Yaz…”
“Please, Sunder, I’m not making this decision lightly. I’ll hand in my gear on Monday. I’m sorry.”
Before he could make any more attempts to change her mind, Yaz hung up. The crowds of the Malecón swirled around her. Out of the corner of her eye, the ocean crashed into the shore. The wind blew hairs from her braid and whipped them around her head. She stopped, set a foot on the low wall between the walkway and the beach, and put her hands on her hips.
Home awaited, past that infinite view of the sea. Yaz should have been frightened. Of her parents’ reaction, of what she was going to do next.
Instead, for the first time in her life, she felt free.
And then it was time to head back. Jo’s house was still quiet and empty when Yaz returned. Apparently, the early morning sex was all the goodbye she was going to get.
But Yaz couldn’t leave it at that. She dug through the kitchen drawers until she found a piece of paper and a pen. Jo may not have been one for goodbyes, but Yaz needed one.
Jo—
I’ve had a wonderful time this week. I don’t know if it’s appropriate to say I’ll miss you, but I will. You’re like the best person I’ve ever met.
Whether you stay here or decide to travel again, I hope you find what you’re looking for. Good luck.
She left the note on the counter and took one last look around the house. The clutter had become homey in the last week, so different from her mum’s neat housekeeping. She was going to miss it as much as she would miss Jo. It was too bad she’d never get the opportunity to know Jo better, but there was nothing she could do about that.
She left the house.
Quiet chaos consumed the airport on a Friday afternoon. People rushed from their planes down to baggage claim, eager to start their holidays. Others dropped off loved ones at the entrance or checked bags at the airline desks. Yaz was early for her flight, and let a harried family with two small children push past her in the security queue. Once she emerged from the cramped lines at the metal detectors, a man darted in front of her with a mumbled apology. She took her time and people flowed past her, faces tight, looking up at the signage or down at their phones.
Out the windows, palm trees whispered stories of a whirlwind week. Walking through the airport's stale, cold air was a lengthy pause at the end of a paragraph, and Yaz felt numb with the quiet of it.
Looking into a gift shop, let-down and dread stole over her, the same dull feeling she got at the tail end of a weekend. She wandered in and glanced over the shelves stacked with books, the racks of Mexico t-shirts, the cooler full of drinks and snacks. With a sigh, she wandered back out empty-handed.
Yaz checked her boarding pass on her phone. Her gate was near, and it was almost time to board. A text from Sonya popped up.
How did it go? Ur about to board soon, right?
In ten minutes. I’ll tell you about everything when I get home. Yaz paused with her finger hovering over send, not sure what else to say. She wasn’t ready to go back, but no trip could last forever. How much more time would she have spent here, if she could? A week? A month?
However long it took for Jo to show her everything?
But Jo had disappeared. Not one for goodbyes, and done with Yaz, ready to close the door on this week. It’s not like Yaz could turn around, miss her flight, and stay longer.
She sent the text to Sonya and slid the phone back into her pocket. When she reached the gate, travelers were already milling around the door, though the boarding announcement hadn’t been made yet. Yaz scanned the area, looking for a seat, but there were none available.
She resigned herself to standing, and a flash of blonde hair caught her eye. A woman sat next to the giant window looking out onto the tarmac, facing away from Yaz. A little lurch pulled her a step in that direction before she caught herself.
Yaz shook her head—was she going to be stuck with a little thrill every time she saw a blonde woman for the next few months? Would it be a nice reminder of this trip? Or of a reality Yaz couldn’t have; a person she couldn’t be, once she was back home?
The boarding announcement started: “Good afternoon everyone, I’d like to welcome you to Flight 2983.” People moved toward the door as the attendant continued.
Yaz didn’t care where she sat, so she’d wait until the rush died down. Even if she ended up stuck in the last row, it would be worth not getting into that crush.
Instead, she moved out of the way and waited for the announcement of the last group. The crowd thinned, and Yaz finally made her way to the door. She took one last look out the window before the attendant scanned her boarding pass. Time to get back to a dreary Sheffield spring.
Walking down the jet bridge, Yaz glanced back. The gate attendant closed the door behind her. She’d waited a little too long; it looked like she would be the last one on board. A middle seat awaited—hopefully she wouldn’t have to climb over anyone to get to it.
She scanned the sea of faces until she found the plane’s one empty seat. Third row from the back, right in the middle, as predicted. The blonde from earlier was ducked down fiddling with something beneath her seat. Great, Yaz was going to have to spend the trip next to—
The woman looked up. Met Yaz’s eyes with a sheepish smile.
Yaz pushed past the flight attendant closing the overhead bins and rushed down the aisle. Her heart threatened to jump out of her chest. Jo watched her approach. Yaz couldn’t have said later what thoughts went through her head, or what her face did, but Jo’s eyes widened.
“Jo? What the hell are you doing here?”
“Ma’am? If you could take your seat, please?” the flight attendant called.
Jo stood and gestured to the empty seat. The man on the other side met Yaz’s eyes and went back to looking out the window.
“Yaz?” Jo’s voice rose barely above a whisper. “Sorry, this is quite socially awkward of me, isn’t it?”
With a sigh, Yaz sat. “Yes. It is.”
“I…” Jo glanced around the plane, then leaned in close to Yaz and dropped her voice. “I was thinking about traveling again. And then I thought, why not start close to home?” She shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans, then planted her feet wide on the floor. One foot stuck out into the aisle, and her knee jiggled. “I’ve never properly been to Sheffield before. Thought I would check it out. That is… if you’re all right with it.”
Yaz ran a hand over her braid and let her head bang back against the headrest. “What is this, Jo? You’re going to drop everything and come to Sheffield, just like that?”
Jo frowned. “I think you know I don’t have much here to drop.” She turned to Yaz, a plea in her eyes. “Look, maybe this is crazy. We don’t even know each other, really. But I want more time with you.”
It was crazy. But Yaz wanted it, too. So what was stopping them? What was stopping Yaz from letting herself be the person she wanted to be? The person she’d been this week? The one Jo brought out in her?
Maybe Yaz would run off and let Jo show her the world. Maybe they’d hang around Sheffield and figure out what they even had, here. Maybe they’d orbit each other until life changed, or they did, and they would go their separate ways. So many possibilities spread out before them, all branching from this moment.
But those were all in the future. Right here, right now, Yaz wanted to do the crazy thing. She wanted to come home a different person from the one who’d left. Someone who could say yes to something new, to an adventure, to this hopeful half-stranger waiting for an answer.
“I’d like that.” Yaz reached over and laced her fingers with Jo’s. “Let’s see what happens. I think you’re going to like Sheffield.”
Jo leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, chaste after their wild week, the gentle start of something new. “I know I am.”