Chapter Text
They finished their weeping session before anyone caught them.
Not that Xavier would mind. He still did not care what other people thought of him. But Xavier felt he needed to set an excellent example for Julian, so he wiped his tears and patted Julian’s back, assuring him they were on the same team now.
Julian still flinched on contact. His shoulders automatically stiffened, but he did not move away this time.
It’s a small progress, but Xavier was grateful regardless.
Now that they cleared it up, Xavier instructed Julian to help Yin with the dishes, insisting that he needed the privacy to change (because he felt gross in his current clothing that he had worn for God knows how long) and to tend to his own wound. The concoction helped a lot during the early stages of his injury when he was so unconscious to use his magic, but now that he had regained a clear mind and most of his energy, he was ready to move on from its bitter taste and heal his wounds using the method he preferred instead.
Julian still looked hesitant when he got up to leave Xavier to his own device, asking if he could help. But Xavier shook his head, assuring the younger that he was good now. Since they had promised to stick with each other, Julian should not worry about letting Xavier escape his sight again. He won’t go anywhere, and here, even if only for a while, they would be safe from any dangers that may come their way.
After all, this is called a safe house for something.
That last part seemed to reassure Julian quite well. He did not argue further. He left the room, closing the door behind him.
Xavier was on his own now.
He used the privacy to change into the clothes Julian had provided. It strangely fit his body and looked simpler than his usual outfit. Xavier realized that perhaps it was Melissa’s work. He curved his lips up, feeling a weird pride and warmth filling in his heart.
Xavier rolled the sleeve of his trousers up, wincing as he noticed the skin was still slightly greenish. His veins were still a dark, bluish color. However, it appeared to be a mending bruise rather than a poisoned limb.
While Xavier knew that his Elven blood must have played a significant part in his swift recovery, he was sure that Alucard's concoction also helped speed up the recovery of his wound.
Xavier made a mental note to thank him if they ever crossed paths again.
The half-elf smiled before he closed his eyes, focusing on his healing magic. Without the mist surrounding him, his power responds instantly to his command, covering his poisoned limb in sharp, needle-like jabs. Xavier took a long breath, feeling the warmth of the light creep up his thigh, hip, and the small of his back. It felt like a slight sting, a little hotter there, but it went away as quickly as it appeared.
As the sensation receded and Xavier opened his eyes, he heard a whistle from the door.
He switched his gaze to the source of the sound, and there he saw Fredrinn leaning against the doorway. His broad, flirtatious, irritating grin was back in place. There was something in his eyes that Xavier felt confident he understood. But he shifted his eyes before comprehension got to him, scoffing.
“Y’know, seeing you doin’ magic stuff like that made me feel like a fool for ever worrying about your well-being,” he said. “Shoulda saved me a trouble not to think whether the almighty Arbiter of Light could make it out alive. Ya pretty crafty, no matter how sticky the situation is.”
Xavier scoffed. “A more decent people would knock before they entered an occupied room, you know.”
“Yeah, good thing I don’t care about being decent.”
“Fuckin’ Boar.”
Fredrinn laughed. “You like me, though, right?” he retorted confidently, entering the room without Xavier's permission. The half-elf rolled his eyes but did not object to his statement or presence. Fredrinn sat in the chair near the bed, intently focused on Xavier's leg. “Thank the Lords for magic. Now that leg looks just as smooth as I remember.”
Xavier assumed he should be upset by Fredrinn's implication, but upon seeing his expression, he halted his words. Despite his suggestive statements, Fredrinn appeared to be truly worried. His eyes drooped with worry, and his obnoxious smirk changed into a slightly sad smile.
The half-elf was reflecting on the first time he awoke. Fredrinn looked so distraught, and he couldn't even say anything. He also noted little details about the scene, such as how the other man's hands trembled in relief and anguish as he gazed at Xavier.
He still could not believe himself for thinking this, but perhaps Fredrinn truly cared about him, not as an ally but as a...
His mind wandered further about what Fredrinn had said that night in Necrokeep, the hurtful expression, and the vulnerability he had offered. He also thought about the last night four years ago in Los Pecados, how close they were, how everything felt right and clicked in place…
Xavier initially thought it was nothing but a product of a drunken mind. The trickery of the alcohol that made such a moment felt more… intimate than it actually is. But now that the ghosts of the past that had been distracting Xavier had vanished, perhaps there was nothing sinister about that night at all. Maybe Fredrinn truly meant what he said.
Despite his reputation, perhaps it was feasible for someone like Fredrinn to experience such genuine emotion to him.
Xavier scoffed. Now that he thought about it, he felt silly. Fredrinn had spent years and years seeking a friend he lost in an accident. He escaped his House because he wanted real friends, not mere allies.
Of course, Fredrinn was capable of love.
Now that Xavier had taken the first step toward self-forgiveness, he believed he could also return the sentiment. Now that the weight that he carried was far from crushing, perhaps he shouldn’t worry about it unintentionally destroying anyone else who offered their hands to help.
Xavier was not sure what to say. It was too much to think about now, much less to speak out loud. So Xavier decided to leave it and talk about the lighter topic instead. His heart started to feel strange, and the silence felt uncomfortable.
“How’s the kids?” he asked instead.
“They’re alright. Once they see that you’re healing, they finally could be sane enough to care for themselves,” he said. “Do you know that Yin is quite a good cook? Heh, but I guess we shouldn’t be surprised. With an appetite like that, he gotta find a way to feed himself at least.”
Xavier was not aware of that. Despite their time together, he usually insisted on cooking in their group, so he did not know much about that. He only knows that Yin could cook basic food all right. He was unaware of his hidden talent but noted that in his mind to prove it later.
“And Melissa is a good tailor. She sews some clothes while waiting for you to wake up. They look top-notch, too, on each of us. That one you wear is hers too. But she made another, I think? Hold up….” Fredrinn paused, scanning the room for the clothing he mentioned.
“What happened to Julian?” Xavier asked instead. “After I passed out, that is. He was…”
Fredrinn lifted a finger, signaling Xavier to stop speaking. He got up to close the door and give them some semblance of privacy before returning to his chair.
“Yeah, we saw him lose his mind,” Fredrinn said. “Or rather, he finally remembers who he is when he saw Terizla. He was in a state of shock. For a while there, I was sure that the presence of his father in front of him broke him and… I don’t know, perhaps sent him back a few years to the day where he lost everything,” the man paused. “But when ya jumped to protect him, I think it sobered him, y’know? ‘Cause he stopped shouting his own name. When Yin teleported us to that dark dimension, He was the first who acted to treat your wound. The boy was tearing up the whole time, but he blinked his tears away and was focusin’ on ya; making a tourniquet out of his clothes and knifes, tying up the tourniquet, squeezin’ the poison out of ya with his bare hands… Lookin’ almost like a doc, except he’s really small.”
“Stop saying him that. He’s almost my height.”
“No, not physically. Y’know what I mean.”
Xavier knows. But the image of Julian crying, nursing his own heartbreak from finding and losing his real father after forgetting him for so long, and yet still being able to take care of him, was too much to bear.
Xavier cleared his throat. No way he would start crying again now. Not in front of this muscle head bastard.
“He still tried to save you when he first got here. He only stopped when Alucard gave us the concoction. When your body stopped spasming and the situation got under control, he suddenly asked if Mel could teach him to speak. It was a whisper, still, since we’re in the same room, we heard,” he paused to let out a small, fond chuckle. “Told ‘im that if he wanna learn to speak a lot, he shoulda ask Yin. Dude’s a blabbermouth. Yin agreed too. And they team up, of course. But Julian seemed more comfortable asking Mel for help than me or Yin. Regardless, I was curious about what changed his mind. Mel said he wanted to thank ya and say a lotta other things, ‘cause ya save ‘im. And he wanted to talk to others properly, whatever that meant. To Mel, to me, to Riz,” Fredrinn continued with a smile. His purple eyes were half wandering now, perhaps recalling that moment.
Xavier felt jealous of what Fredrinn had for the first time. The sight of a determined Julian must be so interesting to see.
“Words did not come easy to him. I saw him struggling, so I bought a book and pencil when Mel suggested he write his thoughts instead of forcing himself to speak. Can’t let him try too hard to speak at once. Dude had been told to be quiet most of his life. It musta been hard for him to suddenly try talking.”
Xavier thought about The Nest. “Yeah, where he grew up is not exactly a playhouse.”
“Right? Fucking lunatics. I hope they rot in hell,” Fredrinn scoffed. “But, well, kinda strange, seeing the quiet, cold assassin boy trying to… change. But the kind of good strange, y’know? Guess ya truly saved him when ya made the jump back then. Not just from the poison, but savin’ his mind from plunging to the pit of the darkness, too.”
“Don’t exaggerate it, wimp. He’s a strong kid, just like his mom,” Xavier said. His mind could not help but think about Anne confronting him ten years ago. She was put face to face with death and terror, yet she managed to resist, to fight for her and her boy’s life till the very end.
“Nah, I think it’s mostly cause of ya. You inspired him. Even when you passed out, Julian’s sole attention was to ya. I think he was moved when you went to save him. And this is big, comin’ from me, but he was definitely the most worried about you of us all,” Fredrinn laughed. “What a tough pill to swallow, to lose to that fifteen-year-old child about caring you.”
Xavier scoffed. “You’re taking it as a competition?”
“I’m only partly kiddin’,” Fredrinn said. “But, you know, Just tryna give ya the whole picture about how much he cared bout ya.”
Fredrinn’s words gave Xavier a new perspective on Julian’s letter. He has a limited vocabulary and an even more limited ability to express himself. So Xavier thought that Julian’s appreciation, forgiveness, and assertion that he did not hate Xavier must have meant much more than he let on.
It's funny to think that he's spent the last ten years attempting to redeem his sins by clinging to his guilt when, in the end, it was the open forgiveness and acceptance that truly guided him to make amends.
“Now that he remembers most of his past, I think he wants to move on and needs a parent figure. Someone he could look up to, y’know? He does look up to you a lot, but don’t feel pressured, gem. If you wanna move on after this to fix the mistake that the church made or whatever redemption you sought, he can go with me. I could see it as a tribute for Riz and Anne after they’re forging me the sword for such a cheap price…”
“Don’t even think about it,” Xavier said, his voice lower in a menacing tone as he narrowed his eyes. “You won’t be a good example for him.”
Fredrinn raised his brows, looking mildly surprised by Xavier’s jarring rejection. There was a ghost of a smile on his face, but he hid it immediately. “Hey, I ain’t half that bad.”
“You’re gonna turn him into a money-slave, greedy man.”
“That’s called being a rich entrepreneur! I ain’t see nothing wrong with that.”
“Precisely why I won’t allow him to go with just you,” Xavier insisted. “I definitely won’t allow him to grow in Los Pecados. He already had enough trauma to last a lifetime. He does not deserve another.”
“Now I take offense! Dude! Los Pecados ain’t bad at all,” Fredrinn protested hotly. He sounded more serious this time. “It’s good for kids’ growth. He coulda learn much there.”
“About what? About how to picklock?” Xavier scoffed.
“Picklock is useful knowledge,” Fredrinn said, raising his finger. If I didn’t know how to picklock, you wouldn’t be sleeping in this comfortable bed with this warm blanket right now, Gem.”
Xavier raised his brows. “So, you brought us to a Paxley’s Safehouse without Aamon’s knowledge?”
At that, Fredrinn gaped. He opened his mouth and closed it again, and when he opened it again, he was in defense. “He knows why now. I told ‘im… like, an hour ago.”
Xavier rolled his eyes. “See, this is exactly why I don’t want Julian to be in Los Pecados. He’s gonna turn out like you!”
“Bein’ me is not something to be ashamed about. And what was I supposed to do, anyway? It was an emergency!”
The banter feels so familiar. It reminded Xavier of their first meeting four years earlier, before they got too intimate. He couldn't help but laugh at how ludicrous the situation was. Fredrinn is a savvy businessman and a legendary appraiser whose reputation sends shivers down people's spines. Xavier is the Arbiter of Light with an infamous sharp tongue. Yet, together, they banter like a pair of teenagers—not much different from Yin and Melissa.
The silliness of it all felt too close to Xavier’s heart.
Fredrinn must have felt that, too, because his humorous grin was back.
“Welcome back, gem,” he said. “For real this time.”
“Stop with that ridiculous nickname,” Xavier spat, but there was no real venom in his voice. “So that’s why you went to see Aamon? To ask for his permission?”
“Kinda? Honestly he already found out about us staying here when Alucard came by to give us the concoction. He musta been alert that a Chevalier was seen snuck into one of his houses, so he came to see what’s that about. It was total chaos, and I was not in the right mind to explain anything to anyone. Told ‘im that I’ll talk when everything’s… pass. He accepted my term, but I figured he musta been gettin’ antsy after a few days, so when I see that you’re well enough to complain, I decided to go and fill him in of how the mission went.”
Xavier saw how Fredrinn carefully chose the word “pass”, and couldn’t help but imagine what Fredrinn and the kids were thinking as Xavier passed out; his skin turned the color of the poison, and he convulsed while being treated. They must have considered the possibility that Xavier may have perished right then and there.
His heart warmed once again, thinking about how much they must care about him to be so worried.
However, he refused to show such sentiment in front of Fredrinn. He carefully locked that in a neat box in his heart for him to unpack later and put it aside in favor of asking a more neutral question.
“Hold up, Alucard is coming in person? Here?”
“Yea,” Fredrinn nodded. “Surprised me, too. For one, didn’t know he was a Chevalier. He looks like your ordinary handsome dollman without the pristine white Chevalier Uniform on him. Guess how confused I am when he looks perturbed about ya like ya two got history,” he scoffed. The playful tone in his voice was lost, and he avoided Xavier’s eyes this time. In its place, now there’s a bitter annoyance like Fredrinn Was talking about a mosquito at the peak of summer instead of Xavier’s old ally.
“Huh,” Xavier said. “Thought he was just passing the concoction.”
“I much prefer him to do that, but he insisted on seeing ya in person,” Fredrinn answered. “Fuckin’ asshole. He knows I ain’t gotta say no 'cause he got the cure. What is his hang-up, really, geez. Ya two got history?”
Fredrinn is straight up sulking now, and even such a small, childish gesture touched Xavier’s heart in a warmth that reminded him of that night in Los Pecados, before they made love. However, he couldn’t help but be curious about what Alucard said that made Fredrinn riled up like that.
“Hmm, he helped cover for me after the Guild situation back in the day,” Xavier said carefully. “What did he say that makes you think we have history?”
Fredrinn let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. Fredrinn always wears his heart on his sleeve around Xavier, and this time, he looks like Xavier is forcing him to drink acid instead of just explaining what he did not know.
“You promised to tell me every word, you fucker.”
“I know, I know, sheesh,” Fredrinn said. “He didn’t say much, honestly. Just that he was positive that you’d be safe. You’ll heal even faster than Julian would cause you’re half-elf. He knows cause he has witnessed your body heal quickly on more than one occasion.”
The emphasis on the word your body did not go unnoticed. Xavier had to try his best not to let out a grin right then in the sight of an obviously jealous Fredrinn. He was sure that Alucard said it without any wicked means. Yet, Fredrinn spat about it and even called Alucard a handsome man in an irritated voice, which must mean that Fredrinn got bothered.
It’s hilarious. Almost cute, even. And Xavier couldn’t help but to rub it in.
“Hm, that’s true,” Xavier hummed. He decided just to test his theory and tease Fredrinn instead.
That got him almost immediately. Fredrinn leaned forward, looking alarmed. “About what?” he said. “You heal quickly, or that he has seen your body on more than one occasion? For the love of everything hold, I hope it’s not the last part cause I’ll bring hell the next time I see him again.”
Xavier lifted his eyebrows. He should not be startled at Fredrinn's candor. After all, he wouldn't be who he is otherwise. Still, seeing Fredrinn declare his affections to Xavier in such an open manner threw him off guard. Because he had always assumed that the other man was only interested in a one-night stand. Xavier was still shocked that Fredrinn had waited four years for him when he could have had almost anyone in Los Pecados, man or woman.
The half-elf thought about the past and his feelings and decided that now that he had forgiven himself, he could try again with him. Take this second chance. After all, they’re hard to come by.
Fredrinn fidgeted in his seat. “C’mon, man. I did say that I’m starting over. You remember that, right?” he said. “I’m chasin’ ya. And if I got competition, I gotta know ‘em and see where I stand against those guys. Or girls. Wasn’t really sure what ya really dig, but…”
“Come here,” Xavier said, shifting in his bed to spare more room for Fredrinn.
Fredrinn paused. “What?”
“I said come here,” Xavier said, rolling his eyes. “Lay with me. It’s cold.”
Fredrinn gaped. He seemed astonished and flabbergasted. But he quickly recovered and climbed into bed as directed, presumably afraid that Xavier would change his mind. For a while, they shuffled around to fit into the bed. It wasn't exactly small, and Xavier had plenty of room alone. However, with the addition of Fredrinn’s broad build, the bed quickly became stuffy.
Somehow, though, they managed to fit inside that bed. Xavier’s head was on Fredrinn’s upper arm, their faces close enough to feel each other’s breath. Fredrinn looked content like this. His face was relaxed and open, and his smile genuine, not the kind of annoying smirk that made Xavier want to punch the light out of him.
“Sorry, did I hurt you? How’s your leg feeling?” Fredrinn asked, tilting his head to meet his eyes. From up close, his purple eyes looked gleaming, like he was genuinely happy. But there was still a hint of worry as Xavier placed his leg on Fredrinn’s.
“Magic,” Xavier said. “My leg’s fine.”
It will be. It still hurt slightly when they shuffled to adjust their position, but Xavier knew his leg would be fine. It would be as good as new in no time.
Fredrinn hummed. His eyes were still glued to Xavier’s, like somehow he would disappear if he were to do as much as blink.
“So I guess I should not worry about this Chevalier then, huh?” he asked. His hand hovered above Xavier’s cheek, seemingly waiting for permission to touch him.
“No,” Xavier replied. “For one, I’m not interested in him, even back then when we were fooling around. What we had was nothing more than a one-time favor for each other. And two, he’s practically married to the other Chevalier.”
“Ooh, the Capital’s Scoop. Nice. Mind spilling the tea about which Chevalier it is?”
Xavier paused. "No, you will simply sell the information for more money,” he said. "Either that, or you'll use such information to blackmail me to get hush money," he could feel a smile forming on his lips, but he did not try to conceal it this time.
He decided to be just as open as Fredrinn.
It wouldn’t be easy, judging by the size of his ego. But if Julian could learn to speak better, Xavier could learn to be more honest too. Especially to those who matters to him.
"Mmm, an Arbiter of Light understands how I work," Fredrinn gripped Xavier's chin. He was apprehensive at first, but after seeing that Xavier did not resist, he rested his hand there instead. "Though, I can be paid with other methods instead, you know that right?”
Xavier rolled his eyes. Still, he closed what small gap between them, pressing his lips to Fredrinn’s.
The half-elf meant it to be just a peck, but Fredrinn did not allow him. Once their lips brushed, he chased him, tenderly placing his other hand on the back of Xavier’s head to keep him in place. As their kiss deepened, Xavier felt a rush of yearning washing over him. Years of denied and neglected emotions toward The Appraiser are now surging forward, swirling inside his head and filling it with desire.
To his disappointment, Fredrinn broke the kiss first, allowing an inch gap between them.
Xavier's heart raced as he gazed into Fredrinn's eyes, searching for any sign of his feelings. The moment's intensity hung between them, creating an exhilarating and nerve-wracking tension. He could see the conflict in Fredrinn's expression, the war between desire and restraint playing out before him.
“Wh…”
“Look, I just gotta know,” Fredrinn said between his panting breath, cutting Xavier’s protest. “Does this mean that you’re in? That you want us to…”
Xavier shook his head in fond annoyance. He shifted again, ruining their perfect cuddle position, and straddled Fredrinn instead so that he was on top of him. The pain in his leg stung, but he ignored that. He could complain about it later.
This time, he has something to show.
A small sinister part of him still feels like this is wrong, that he did not deserve this. He did not deserve Julian’s forgiveness, did not deserve Fredrinn, who looked beautiful like this, with part of his face cast by the sunlight, his lips moist and swollen by the kiss, and his pupils half-blown. A small, sinister part of him still thinks that he has to blame himself for the loss of so many innocent lives and that he deserved lifelong torture.
But destroying himself will not bring back those lives.
Locking himself in the past will not undo what had been done.
He deserved to move on while not completely ignoring the past. Instead of leaving himself in the past, he could fix his mistake and move forward at the same time.
Fredrinn brushed his cheek with his fingers, and Xavier instinctively leaned to his touch. The reforged path will be tough. Ensuring such horror will not happen again and fixing his mistake will be challenging. Perhaps, it’s okay to accept helping, loving hands.
Fredrinn had proved in Necrokeep that their journey became easier and more bearable together. Perhaps, together, they will make their journey easier for both of them, despite the dangers that lay in wait.
He captured Fredrinn’s hand and kissed the knuckle. He then glared at the other man, pushing his sinister mind to the back of his head where it could not sabotage him anymore.
"Shut up and just kiss me, will you?"
-
Two weeks had passed since they returned from Necrokeep, and many had changed.
For one, Xavier’s leg had healed completely. However, to his surprise, there is still a faint scar from the force of the poison that runs from his ankle to his upper thigh, stopping exactly at the spot where Julian's tourniquet was applied. Scars were rarely seen on elves or half-elves. Whatever the severity of the scar, their skin normally returns to its previous state.
But this one lingered as if demanding to be recalled.
Julian was devastated when he learned of it, but Xavier told him he did not mind the scar. It reminded him that he was part human and liked the human in him because it made them more similar in one way. The human in him made him feel like they could be families.
They moved from Paxley’s Safehouse on the fourth night to the house in Southern Avalor, which borders Los Pecados directly. It’s one of Fredrinn’s properties, which he claimed from a debtor who could not pay the money he owed Fredrinn. It was a humble house that could comfortably fit five people, the location perfect for laying low and staying hidden while still having access to strategic places such as the market, the street that leads to the outskirts that border Necrokeep, and also access to Los Pecados on the west.
However, Fredrinn insisted they move to a better, larger property instead. But Xavier decided that they did not need fancy living arrangements. He couldn’t risk drawing any unwanted attention to them, and a smaller house is easier to maintain and abandon, when it comes to that. He was sure that there would be time when it would come to that. After all, they’re still the Church’s fugitives.
Xavier deafened his ears to Fredrinn’s offer to pay for the house and their meals until the other man got the memo and did not bring it up anymore.
Yin was becoming better at handling Lieh. The tattoo across his body was becoming more visible, but Lieh had not taken over his body since they were back from Necrokeep—not even when Yin challenged him or Melissa used magic to provoke Lieh. Realizing that he might have achieved his goal, Yin intended to return to Cadia Riverlands and notify Wanwan of his accomplishment.
Though, he’s still worried that while Lieh refused to return here, he would resurface when Yin was near his girlfriend.
He wanted to test it, but he could only do it by putting himself in danger, which they couldn’t do, not when Xavier and Julian were healing. Besides, he refused to take Melissa in a trip towards danger again, no matter how much she insisted she could be strong enough to handle whatever.
This left them with only one option: asking for help from Aamon.
They all know that, but nobody wants to bring it up, fearing Melissa’s disagreement. Xavier heard that Fredrinn offered to take Yin to Aamon alone, just the two of them, but the boy refused. He said he wouldn’t go without Mel’s approval. He’d find another way.
That is, until Melissa herself decided to send Aamon a letter to assist them.
When Fredrinn delivered the news from Aamon that he would visit in three days, Yin was so excited and so surprised that he reflexively jumped Melissa, hugging her so tight that Xavier was afraid that he would pop her organs.
“Let me go, you dweeb!” Melissa hissed. But her voice had a smile despite her face looking completely annoyed. “You don’t need to be so surprised! You miss your girlfriend, and The Duke is the only one who can help you ensure you’re well enough to see her! I’m not so cruel to keep you from her because of my own feelings against the Duke! It’s my job to help you, remember? We had a deal I intend to keep!”
It’s been three days since Fredrinn delivered the news. So if everything is according to plan, Aamon is supposed to visit them today.
His musings were interrupted by the voice of the front door opening and closing, followed by light footsteps toward the kitchen. That must be the kids coming back from the market. Xavier decided to get up from bed to greet them, but he was kept by a tight grip on his waist, followed by a grunt of protest.
“No,” the heavy voice beside him grumbled. “It’s not even dawn yet.”
“Get off me,” Xavier hissed. “The kids are back. I gotta see them.”
“Why? They’ll be fine,” Fredrinn said. His voice was heavy and slumbering, and his eyes were not open as he pressed Xavier’s back close to his chest. He snuggled his nose on Xavier’s nape, his breath warm and tickling.
“Get. off,” Xavier slapped the other man’s hand instead.
“You worried too much,” Fredrinn grumbled again but did not complain when Xavier finally removed Fredrinn’s hands from him and, eventually, his own body from the bed. The appraiser did not make any move to chase Xavier, though. Instead, he continued sleeping, placing his hand on the space where Xavier lay.
Usually, Fredrinn would catch up to him and greet the kids together. But not this morning, it seems. He must have been exhausted. He went to a tough business in Los Pecados which he spent days finishing, not to mention picking up odd tasks here and there in between. After all those works, he had to journey to their tiny house to claim his rightful position in Xavier's bed and life.
After that night, they discussed their relationship often when they were alone. Xavier was far more open about it this time, setting boundaries and expectations. He especially mentioned that he would prioritize Julian and the kids whatever happened between them.
Of course, Fredrinn responded with a grin and a kiss. He further stated that he would be mad if he ditched such adorable kids. He did not mind having an additional three people to care for because, at this point, he respected them as much as Xavier did.
And just like that, they were off to a new beginning.
It was their shared effort, but Xavier was fairly certain it was mostly because Fredrinn was very patient and forgiving of the shit Xavier had put him through.
Xavier glanced at the sleeping man, offering a quiet, appreciative smile before leaving his room.
As expected, Julian was in the kitchen, unpacking the items he had purchased at the market. His body clock was still set to the Raven timetable. He gets up quite early, and since Xavier and Fredrinn want him to do more than just train, they suggest Julian go with them to the market to shop. Fredrinn said that every day at 3 a.m., the market unloaded the freshest goods. Going to the market at that hour seemed perfect for them; they get to purchase the best groceries without worrying about the morning rush, and it’s a good opportunity for Julian to engage with other people outside of their tiny circle. At that hour, people are unlikely to identify him because of the dark. The village they live in is so small and far from Lumina City for them to ever learn of their status as fugitives, but Xavier decides that there’s no such thing as being too careful.
He wants them to taste peace as long as they can have it.
It worked out somehow. It also allowed Julian to exercise his vocabulary outside their circle. At first, Julian went with Xavier. But after a few days, Yin and Melissa started to volunteer to go with him, stating that it’s an excellent opportunity for them to taste fresh air, too, even if they have to sacrifice their bedtime a little.
“Morning,” Xavier greeted him. He scanned the room to greet the other kid, but no one else seemed to be there. “Julian, did you go with Melissa or Yin today?”
Julian shook his head. “Alone,” he said. “They seem… Tired. Don’t want to… wake them,”
“You could’ve wake me. You know I wouldn’t mind” Xavier said. Though his heart was beginning to worry, he suppressed the feeling. Julian was already here, safe and sound. There’s no use fussing or scolding him about what had happened. “I take it everything is well on the journey?”
Julian nodded. There was a pause, and then he offered Xavier a smile. “I saw an old person.”
“Oh? Do tell,” Xavier said, taking a seat before Julian.
Because Julian was still unsure of what to say or when to say it, and they often fell into awkward silence without Julian's meaning to, Xavier and Melissa devised another technique. They suggested Julian explain anything he observed when they were separated: the people on the road, the room he slept in, and whatever he faced that day.
“He wears a cowboy hat…. He buys… Tomatoes…. He wears nice shoes. Lether ,” he paused, placing a bag of coffee beans on the table, and pulled a small notebook from his pocket. Xavier’s gift, which he only bought a day ago, because Fredrinn's book was too large and impractical for Julian to carry around. “I don’t know how to spell it. Is it l-e-t-h-e-r?”
Xavier could feel his smile grow wider. “You’re close. It’s L-e-a-t-h-e-r,” Xavier supplied.
Julian nodded. He diligently wrote that down, furrowing his brows in full concentration when he repeated the word inaudibly.
“What do you think of leather?” Xavier asked.
The boy quickly shifted his eyes toward Xavier. He looked mildly panicked, probably because he remembered having to keep up with the conversation.
“It’s… okay,” he said. “Keeping me dry…. Hot to wear,” he scrunched his nose. “Another man in a leather hood gave us a bag of hazelnuts. He said it’s… for you.”
Julian pushed a small bag closer to Xavier, which the half-elf felt suspicious about. He was not particularly close with anyone in the village—not so much to drive them to gft him something, at least. He grabbed the hazelnut bag, and to his surprise, there was a small piece of paper inside with Xavier's name neatly scrawled. The half-elf promptly opened the paper, his heart pounding while his mind raced with the possibilities, from bad to worse as he read the letter
Xavier,
Alucard told me about your situation. I send you my condolences for the trouble, and applause for fighting a demonic army head-on and surviving, even barely. It’s not easy, I give you that.
Here are the ingredients needed to prepare the Anti-demon Potion. It should be easy to find in the Moniyan wild whenever required. Please do not lose sight of it because the next time you ever get poisoned again, Alucard will NOT come to your rescue.
You have my word on that.
G.
On the second piece of paper, Xavier could see a list of ingredients and a simple instruction for mixing them into a concoction. However, before he could even read that section of the letter, Xavier burst out laughing in sheer pleasure.
Is Granger still going about the taunt over Xavier’s old flame against Alucard that he told him a few weeks ago? Talk about being jealous. Xavier reread the letter in his hand the second time and couldn’t help but let out another round of laughter.
Oh boy, never in his life had he thought that he would ever witness the cold, reserved, and aloof Granger being jealous.
His laughing fit must be odd to listen to, too, because almost simultaneously, the door to Yin’s room and the door to Xavier’s shared room with Fredrinn were opened, showing two surprised yet still sleepy expressions from both men.
“Is the gem… laughing?” Fredrinn asked at the same time, Yin asked, “What happened?”
Julian only shrugged, looking at Xavier with an equally curious stare. Xavier only shook his head, folding the paper and putting it in his pocket. “Nothing you guys should be concerned about,” he said, deciding that revealing his old flame with Alucard would only cause an unnecessary ruckus to Fredrinn. He was better off not knowing. Fredrinn was already jealous of him enough. “Now that you two are here, how about you help us prepare breakfast instead?”
Fredrinn grumbled, saying something about going back to sleep, but he approached them anyway, leaving a peck on Xavier’s head and taking the goods Julian purchased out of the bag. Yin also did the same, pestering Julian about not waking him and going to the market together.
“But today… is Yin’s big day,” Julian said, answering Yin’s complaints. “You need… sleep and energy to…”
Julian did not continue his words. Instead, he dropped the tomato he held to get the knife next to the stove. His hand glowed with magic, and his eyes narrowed as he shifted his gaze towards their front door.
“Someone’s coming…” he hissed. “Did you… hear?”
Only a second later, Xavier heard a strange sound and a bright light that pierced through the window. It almost looked like his Dawning Light, but on a smaller scale. Xavier glanced at Fredrinn, signaling him to get his sword just in case.
“I’ll… open the door,” Julian said.
“Sure,” Xavier nodded. “I have your back, Ju.”
“I’m ready too,” Yin whispered.
Julian nodded. He slowly approached the door with quiet steps yet smooth movement. With his adorable attempts at conversing and enriching his vocabulary, Xavier had nearly forgotten that Julian was an assassin. The boy glanced at Xavier as he reached for the handle, asking for his permission. When Xavier nodded, Julian finally swung the door open and pointed his knife just enough to scare whoever was behind the door.
“Oh, you’re awake. I th… Whoa!” the man behind the door raised both arms, looking genuinely surprised at the knife pointed at him. “Hey, relax, it’s me. You remember me, right?”
“Natan?” Xavier raised his brows, lowering his hand, which was already set for a quick magic launch.
“Natan!” Yin exclaimed. His grin upon seeing a friend quickly wiped off as he realized the implication of Natan’s presence. “Oh my, Natan is here on the day when I test my strength? This can’t be… am I going to fail again? Is Lieh going to ruin everything?”
“What? No, that’s not why I’m here!” Natan said, furrowing his brows. “Well… I understand where the thought comes from, but I’m not here to prevent the world from destroying or delivering bad news to you. I’m just here to visit my friends,” he said, smiling. “You guys look well, especially you, Yin. You look healthy.”
“I am!” Yin said, grinning proudly. I'm getting better at controlling Lieh now. We'll have Aamon come over here to help me prove that! Wait, why am I telling you this? You know, cause you can see the future! Can you tell me if I’d do great? Will I pass this test?”
Natan chuckled. “That is something you must work on yourself, son,” he said. “Fear not; whatever happens, we will help you, okay?”
Yin looked a bit disappointed, but nodded, regardless.
“The whirring sound… the light…” Julian mumbled. “Was it… you?”
Natan blinked. “Oh, yeah. That’s me. I’m going here spacewalking. You see?” Natan raised his right arm, showing the gadget he wore. Gravitation… something. Xavier couldn’t remember it, for the love of him. “I was only planning to catch up to His Grace. But it seemed that I arrived here sooner than he did and, frankly, sooner than I intended. He’s gonna arrive at… two hours from now, I think? He left just after breakfast.”
Xavier raised his brows. “You’re still staying in Castle Aberleen?”
Natan looked… awkward. Xavier could see a faint blush on the other’s cheeks as he muttered, “Well, yes? Heh. I’m still recovering a little, you see? Ahem, are you not gonna invite a friend in? It’s chilly out here so early in the morning. And Julian, would you mind lowering the knife, please?”
Julian gaped. He looked a little bashful as he lowered the knife and muttered an apology. The boy then took a few steps back, allowing Natan to come in.
As the spacewalker enters their house, Fredrinn exits the room with his staff in his right hand. However, the tension on his face quickly loosened as he saw their expression and welcoming gesture toward Natan.
“Huh. So… no danger?” he asked.
“No,” Xavier said. “It’s just Natan, a friend who introduced us to His Grace.”
“Aamon’s guy, huh,” Fredrinn muttered. “How come I’ve never heard of ya?”
“Maybe because I haven’t been around for a while,” Natan nodded. “And you are Fredrinn… right?”
“Yeah, Aamon’s pal.”
At that, Natan raised his brows. “Ah, yes. You’re the retainer that brought home my friends!” he exclaimed. “I offer you my gratitude, Fredrinn! Your service will forever be appreciated and remembered!”
Fredrinn furrowed his brows briefly before raising them and snapping his fingers in acknowledgment. “Oh, you’re… the boyfriend, aren’t you?” he asked. “The reason Aamon commissioned me for help in the first place.”
Natan was openly blushing now. He cleared his throat, and his left hand instinctively placed on top of what looked like a small sundial hanging on the belt above his left thigh. Xavier could have made a few guesses about the origin of that sundial; all of them led to Aamon.
A romantic gesture, perhaps? Huh. Who knows that the aloof Duke is a romantic at heart?
“Huh, no wonder he’s hiding you so persistently,” Fredrinn’s boisterous laugh was heard. “You’re quite a catch. I’d do the same if I were ‘im.”
Natan was blushing even more now, even going as much as coughing. However, Xavier ignored him as he glared at Fredrinn.
Did he just… openly flirting with Natan while Xavier is around? Fucker.
He would give him a lesson one of these days.
“Oh, what is this? It looks like we have an unexpected guest!” Melissa’s voice suddenly was heard from the stairs. Natan must have been grateful for the distraction from Fredrinn’s teasing because he quickly approached Melissa, and despite her suspicion and Natan’s focus on Yin on their last encounter, they seemed to be fine enough talking to each other.
Xavier was ready to discuss Fredrinn’s shameless flirting when he became sidetracked by Natan's interaction with Julian and Melissa. They’re not particularly close, what with Natan’s interaction mostly with Xavier or Yin when they rescued him. However, they talk to him like he is an old uncle visiting them. Natan must have felt like a breath of fresh air both to Julian and Melissa. After all, they could barely communicate with anyone outside their tiny circle over the last few days. It was rare to have someone with whom they could openly and honestly discuss their journey without the fear of having to cover things up.
So the half-elf opted to save his scolding for Fredrinn for later and join them in the conversation instead.
The half-elf opted to join them in their conversation instead.
Their topics were mainly about Yin's progress and their journey to Necrokeep, which Julian did not want to discuss too much, judging by the tiny scrunch on his nose. Natan must have picked up on it as well, for he smoothly turned the subject to their future plans, to which Yin gladly offered his plan to see Wanwan as soon as he could prove that he had complete control over Lieh. Then, the conversation somehow shifted to Cadia Riverlands and the surrounding islands. Then, they shifted back to Lumina City, where Melissa stated that she missed her old shop and might want to return to Lumina City to get some of the belongings she had left behind before the journey. She said she was thinking about joining Yin halfway through his journey home.
Julian’s eyes drooped slightly at the prospect of Yin and Melissa leaving. Even though he knew this was coming, Julian must have been sad to be separated from his friends with whom he shared his journey. He glanced towards Xavier, and once the blue-haired man nodded, Julian’s smile returned.
They will be together no matter where they are. Xavier would not leave him.
The conversation soon derailed to smaller details and more mundane things. They asked Natan about Castle Aberleen and how he was doing, and Natan answered everything diplomatically, enough to sate their curiosity but neatly hiding further details. After a while, Melissa stretched and claimed she would bathe just after the first light of day breaks, claiming the first turn this morning. Fredrinn had left for his morning training, and Yin was once again dealing with the dishes. It was Julian's turn this morning, but Yin insisted on covering for Julian to compensate for his mistake of not accompanying Julian to the market earlier today. However, the red-headed boy refused to back down. He insisted that it was his fault for not waking Yin up in the first place and that Yin needed to save his energy for a training session with Aamon.
“I’ve never seen two people getting all worked up over doing the dishes,” Natan said, chuckling. His voice was a bit drowned by Yin and Julian’s banter. “If anything, I have only seen the opposite.”
Xavier scoffed. “They’re so full of life, indeed.”
“All thanks to you,” Natan said. “I suppose the world owed you a gratitude for caring for them, Xavier.”
“I was only doing what’s right,” he said. His mind suddenly recalled his dream with Anne, which felt too real and too… strange at the same time. He was still convinced that it was not just a dream because, to his knowledge, a dream is a dimension that his mind created, filled with fragments of his knowledge and experiences. However, Anne talked about many things that Xavier had never heard or never known before. So, it was most likely not his own experiences.
He had grown suspicion that it was another realm, another dimension. But it felt too silly to even talk about it. Xavier had wanted to talk about his theory but couldn’t figure out the right person to do so. The only option he could think of was Harith, The Chevalier who possessed the ability of The Zaman Force that pretty much covered about time and space. But now that Natan is here, he thought that maybe he could talk about it. After all, Natan had walked through dimensions.
“Natan,” he started. “May I talk to you outside for a while?”
Natan must have seen something on Xavier’s face because he nodded without saying a word and walked outside the front door with the half-elf. As they walked further from the ruckus that is Yin and Julian, Xavier could feel his heart pounding faster, his mind figuring out how to tell his experience without sounding too silly or weird.
“Is it about the journey?” Natan asked when Xavier finally closed the door behind him. The morning was still fresh, and the rising sun was peeking through the waving leaves on the trees in their front yard. “Did something happen to you in your coma or in the transition between this dimension and the one Lieh teleported you to?”
Xavier raised his brows. “You’ve seen how it went?”
“From the tunnel of time, on my way here,” Natan nodded. “Pardon me for not jumping out of the tunnel and interfering when Terizla poisoned you or when you were almost killed by the demon’s hammer. Those events were… ahem, substantial for all of you. It went any other way, and he and Yin might not recover to who they are now.”
“It’s alright,” Xavier said. “I don’t mind things happened the way they were. But you’re right about something happening to me in my coma. I think your words… they bleed to my dreams, Natan.”
Natan raised his brows. “Which one?” he asked, and Xavier could feel genuine curiosity radiating from him.
“About not changing the past, about how it is… important for the cycle of the world. About how it’ll be a worse world to live in if I do not learn about the ugly truth of the Monastery of Light. But they’re all… come most oddly.”
“Hmm,” Natan hummed. “Please, do tell.”
And so, Xavier informed him. Regarding Anne, the things she stated were strikingly similar to Natan's back in the safe home. Regarding her feelings...He wondered if Anne was his deepest dream manifested; if, after desiring forgiveness for so long, his subconscious mind offered the manifestation of her to him. He almost ruled it as such, but the story about Ares felt too strange. It was a story that Xavier had never heard before she told him in his dream. She also told him about the meaning of his name in Agelta’s language, which Xavier also never learned for his subconscious to pick up. Throughout his story, Natan only nodded. His brow furrowed as if in solemn meditation.
"... Whatever it is, you do not have to cover things up for me, Sir Natan," Xavier replied, concluding his story. “If Anne in my dream was only the product of my wishful thinking, if I’m going a little bit crazy because of the poison or the mist in Necrokeep, you must tell me that. I promise I will not blame myself again. I have moved past that.”
“Hmm,” Natan hummed, placing his finger on his chin. “If you ask me about my honest opinion, I think that’s possible.”
“What does?”
“Your experience is not a dream,” Natan said. You see, as a spacewalker, I assumed I could only travel through time and space. I always assumed it was linear, but it was not. However, as I became more adept at navigating time, I learned that the Time Stream is such a mess. There were not only thousands of altered realities, but there were also other dimensions beyond this one. I learned that there are dimensions called void dimensions. It was outside the fate, the realm that made the world. Tunnel of Time itself was one of them, as well as the Underworld that Aamon and Yin know of. There is no fixed method for entering or exiting it. Only people with special conditions could master access to these void dimensions. That’s why I can’t go to the underworld despite having access to Tunnels of Time. Or Aamon couldn’t access the Tunnel of Time despite having access to the Underworld. These dimensions are unique, and each differed from the other.”
Natan paused, his brows still furrowed and his eyes dazed at the weapon still attached to his arm as he continued.
“There were thousands, if not millions, of other pocket dimensions like these. Many were believed to be transit dimensions where souls end up when they lost their mortal vessel and… pass this world. I have never accessed these dimensions myself, but someone I met in The Void told me so. These pocket dimensions were parasitic. A beat too long in there, you might lose yourself entirely. Heh, that I can testify. You’ve seen how I almost lose my humanity, being in the Tunnels of Time for so long.”
Natan scoffed a bitter laugh, but then, he shifted his eyes towards Xavier.
“However, despite its parasitic nature, apparently, if one’s soul has enough willpower, it could claim that void instead of the other way around. So, regarding your experience, I can only assume that perhaps… when Terizla poisoned you, you were so close to… ahem, passing this world that your soul got stuck in that dimension. Possibly as your soul wandered among the void, you ended up in Anne’s by chance. Or perhaps, and I think this is the far more plausible option, that Anne’s soul and willpower had beat the parasitic nature of one of these void dimensions. She must have pulled your soul to her void, and it was her soul to whom you were speaking. You said she was killed with fire in her eyes?”
Xavier closed his eyes. The vision of Anne being murdered in front of his eyes flashed through his thoughts once more. "Yes," he answered. “She was resisting through the very end.”
Natan nodded. "Yes, that is possible," he responded. “I think that is the best explanation I could think of with your story. After all, you yourself were… ahem, dying. But don’t take my words at face value, Xavier. It was nothing but a hypothesis from my end."
“I see,” Xavier said with a quiet sigh. “And this… someone you met at the Void. Is it a reliable person?”
“Ugh, no. He was far too bitter to be called reliable. But this man’s soul… was shattered in multiple voids, and somehow, he could master them. He called himself a void walker, but I prefer to refer to him as an anomaly. He is strange, even stranger than I am, and I wish to learn more about him and the void he mentions. But as I said, accessing these voids is impossible. I only encountered one out of sheer luck,” he said.
Xavier nodded. “And I imagine it’s even harder to look for now that you decide to stay outside that dimension?”
Natan smiled. “Yes,” he said. “Though, I don’t think I’m missing out. As much as I’m curious about the anomalies in the pocket dimension, it is not my job to find out. My job is to protect humanity, and as you have said, I can do it by flowing with the stream instead of watching from the sideline.”
“And you get to fuck the Duke while you’re at it.”
Natan cleared his throat “Well,” he said, picking himself from a blush quicker this time. “I can’t believe I said it, but I’m glad you survived, Xavier. This world still needs you.”
Xavier sighed. "I was so close, wasn't I?"
"If it weren't for Julian's first aid, I think you would lose your life there and then," Natan went on to say. "I’d say you owe the kid one, but he owes you one, too, so you guys are even.”
“No one’s keeping tally anymore, here. We’re a group now.” A family was implied, but Xavier did not say that out loud. He was sure that with his smug grin, Natan already knew what he meant. “But I’m sure you’ve known of that too, right?”
Natan shook his head. “I only stopped watching how the event flows when they managed to bring you to the Paxley’s safe house,” he said. Not knowing everything is bliss on its own, you know? I still love surprises, especially pleasant ones such as this.”
“This… what, me?” Xavier asked, deciding that the serious discussion was over and it was time to put a serious effort into taunting Natan to his bashful self again. The half-elf curved his lips into a smile as he seductively approached Natan, albeit playfully. “Why, Sir Natan, are you still considering my offer from back then?”
Natan blinked, looking perplexed by Xavier's change of attitude. But he caught himself fast now, returning his playful smile.
Uh, oh.
"Why, Xavier, if I were here looking for a tryst, I would not be charmed by you the second time. Not when someone like Fredrinn is around."
Xavier felt his smile fade into a scowl. The jealous feeling he felt not too long ago resurfaced, crashing into him like a tsunami. However, a light rustle of tree leaves and branches was heard before he could react. Not too long after, a camouflage in the shape of a man was landing gracefully on a stone footpath.
The newcomer lowered his camouflage cloak, showing the entirety of his graceful self as the Duke of Avalor. He narrowed his eyes at Xavier and Natan, probably disliking what he was hearing.
“What is this tryst I hear of?” Aamon said as he approached them. “Is it far too early to discuss such an... improper talk?”
"Your Grace, you're here," Natan said. "Nothing, it was just a joke between friends, am I right, Xavier?"
"A terrible one, it seemed," Xavier added, recalling Fredrinn's reference to Natan as' a catch'. His chest was burning with rage, and he did not like how Natan could make his taunt backfire on him. This man had better not be serious about his comment about Fredrinn. If not… well, he got to go through Xavier first. The half-elf didn’t care what Natan had done to help them. It’s a brawl if the spacewalker ever so wishes for it.
"Oh, pardon, I am still bad at jokes," Natan chuckled as he winked at Xavier. Fucker.
The spacewalker squeezed Aamon's hand, saying, "Yin was waiting for you. Come visit him, Your Grace. You'd be surprised how much he's grown in just a few days!"
Natan dragged Aamon inside, leaving Xavier on the porch, angry at what he prayed was not jealousy. It was NOT. It was definitely not jealousy. Natan did NOT just give him a taste of his own medicine. Xavier was sure of it. He's merely unhappy that his ploy didn't work on Natan the second time and that the spacewalker can now navigate his taunt more effectively and even dish it back to him.
Well played, you smart, futuristic fucker.
Xavier followed them inside, and when he discovered Fredrinn entering the room through the rear door, he quickly approached him and hauled him outside.
"What, why're ya lookin' so pissed?" Fredrinn asked. "I thought I overheard Aamon. Is he pissed you off? Dude had the talent to piss people off in just a single stare. Should I…”
"No," Xavier replied. "But don't go inside when Natan is in the room."
"Wh… Why?" Fredrinn inquired, his expression betraying genuine confusion. "Gem, what hap…"
"Go to Los Pecados or whatever," Xavier retorted. He then proceeded to jab his finger into Fredrinn's naked chest. "For fuck's sake, wear a shirt, you dumbfuck. And never be in the same room as Natan. Not Ever."
Fredrinn scowled. “And why is t…”
Xavier did not allow Fredrinn to continue. He slammed the rear door, ignoring Fredrinn’s muffled protest and the boiling feeling inside his heart that was completely different from his usual anger.
The half-elf narrowed his eyes toward Natan. Sure, he had helped him numerous times, and even now, he has helped him understand the situation with Anne. Xavier was thankful for those, of course. And he determined to pay back every single thing. But it would not prevent him from keeping tally with him for getting him all flustered.
He would not let Natan entangle him in his game of taunts without a fight.