Chapter Text
Re-entering the bedroom was less of a stressor now that he was resigned to the situation.
Reap what you sow and all that shit.
He didn’t know where Stolas had vanished off to and huffed lightly, his heart heavy. He set his work clothes on the chair and reached for his Spirit plush, fiddling with the soft toy’s ears before plucking it from the edge of the bed and walking over to the balcony doors.
He pushed them open, breathing in the air of the early hours.
He mustn’t have been asleep for as long as he thought.
Blitzø hopped up onto the flat surface of the balustrade and settled himself, looking out at the vast tops of skyscrapers and buildings that the Palace overlooked.
He drew his knees to his chest and rest his chin upon Spirit Jr’s head, simply existing for the moment because he couldn’t remember the last time he’d just let himself do so.
He was giving himself the calm before the storm.
The air was cool, the sky a blush red and the quiet was…
Well.
Quiet.
He didn’t really know where he would go from here, but he guessed he could try to recover what little he’d started to lose. He just had to… to change, somehow.
He just had to be less Blitzø.
Maybe if he invested less time and money in the things that he loved and put more focus into being like everyone else he wouldn’t be so alone.
The thought was unbearable, though.
His head went there often, but it didn’t magically give him the motivation or ability to do anything in that direction.
Really… really, he felt misunderstood.
He couldn’t keep up with people as easily as they assumed he could. He got roped into things, didn’t always say no when he should and he set out with good intentions most of the time, but no-one saw that part.
No-one saw the guy getting overwhelmed by sudden change, they just saw the outbursts, the panic that expressed itself as anger because it wasn’t just a fucking parking space, it was the space he used every single day and had grown comfortable with.
It wasn’t that he deliberately sabotaged things, either.
It was that he failed to keep up the pace that had been set by the other person. It was that he didn’t quite meet their expectation and then the harder he tried the more unravelled everything became until at some point he either stopped trying altogether or lashed out because he was tired of being told that he wasn’t trying or that he didn’t care.
He was and he did.
He just wasn’t the man they thought he was.
That he thought he could be.
He wasn’t stubborn, he was trapped within himself, unable to venture outside of the invisible walls that he was seemingly born with. He didn’t like not being able to just up and try new things, he didn’t like not being able to cope with change and he certainly didn’t enjoy contributing to a conversation only to have everyone stare at him because he’d said something wrong.
Or inappropriate.
Dammit.
It was tiring, and the worst was that Blitzø didn’t even fucking realise that he was six feet deep in an argument until the other person started shouting. He didn’t realise he’d said something offensive unless someone pointed it out and explained.
He also didn’t know he’d hurt someones feelings unless they told him, and sadly… hardly anyone chose to do that.
What he got was either the explosive accusation which often had him startled and clamming up, forever trying to get across that he hadn’t meant what he’d said in the way they took it, or a cold cut off without explanation. Honestly, it felt like everyone walked around the fucking planet thinking others were out to get them because they refused to believe it wasn’t intentional.
Most people- the vast majority of people -assumed he’d done it deliberately and was being an asshole, so gave him the silent treatment. Either that or they expected him to have known he’d upset them, because reading minds was a common ability.
Not.
He was tired of being told all the time that what he thought was wrong, how he expressed his feelings was wrong, what he said, what he did, how he perceived his little corner of the world- wrong.
All the fucking time.
It shaped a very defensive person out of him, someone who wore brazenness and an asshole persona as a weak shield against it all.
The sigh that left him was so loud that it physically made his shoulders slump and-
“Mind a little company?”
Blitzø blinked, twisting round to see Stolas padding up to him, dressed in his usual robe and looking far less formal now that he was out of his regal attire.
Blitzø shuffled aside as the owl came to stand next to where he was sitting, deftly moving his tail out of the way and letting it dangle over the edge of the balcony as he hugged his knees tighter, squishing the plushie horse against his chest in the process.
Stolas leant upon the chilled surface and smiled, staring out at the barely twinkling stars that remained in the sky.
They both ended up just being there, Stolas watching the cosmos and Blitzø staring down at the nothingness of the dimly lit grounds below.
The breeze was thin, not too strong, and the clouds were just starting to gather overhead. It was beginning to mist around the buildings, too. The sky was a cascade of purples, violets, and cherry-reds. The spires, steeples and various other rooftop paraphernalia jutted out below and overhead, as though forever trying to reach the height of the Pentagram but ever-failing in their attempt.
Blitzø heard movement to his right after a few minutes of observing and blinked at the hand being offered to him. He lifted his gaze to Stolas who was smiling at him in a sorrowful way, cerise-rose hues full of something gentle.
Something warm.
Blitzø studied the owl’s face cautiously, searching for any signs that what was being offered would be retracted upon him moving to accept, and when Stolas simply smiled wider, Blitzø took the leap.
It wasn’t so much a sudden shift as it was a careful motion, slipping his palm tentatively into the Prince’s and instantly finding a swell of emotion rattle up his lungs. He turned his body into Stolas’ as the owl clasped their hands together tightly, scooping Blitzø against his chest and holding him close.
“I know,” he whispered, tucking Blitzø’s head under his chin. “I know. I’m so sorry, you’ve had to deal with so much and I didn’t realise.”
Blitzø drew in a shaky breath, scrunching his eyes shut as he found his vocal cords. “Fought with Mox,” he said roughly, voice as thin as the air around them.
“You fought?” Stolas echoed, resting his beak against Blitzø’s horns as the Imp nodded. “Badly?”
“He said we weren’t family,” Blitzø choked out, hiding his face within the curve of Stolas’ neck as all the words hit him at once. “He told me to stop inviting him and Millie places. I misunderstood him over a Café arrangement and it just… all went wrong. I don’t know how I caused it. They left,” he continued, quietening into a whisper. “Loona blocked me. I made you hate me. I lost everyone again.”
Stolas didn’t reply, though he released Blitzø’s hand in favour of pressing it to his cheek. He made a hushing noise before pulling back and cupping Blitzø’s jaw.
“Let us remove one from that list,” he uttered softly, placing Spirit Jr. beside Blitzø whilst guiding him to sit facing forward. “I do not hate you. I was giving us space and admittedly, I should have explained my thought process in doing so before just going ahead. I wasn’t giving you the Crystal to get rid of you, Blitzø. I wanted us to not have to see each other based on the Grimoire. I wanted us to see each other because we wanted to see each other.”
Blitzø sniffled as his chin was lifted a little further, Stolas’ thumbs stroking along his lower lash line and catching the moisture there before it could fall. “I was an asshole to you.”
“I believe it was an even split, Blitzø,” Stolas intoned, voice cotton-soft and smooth.
Easy to listen to, as always.
“As for your friends, I am very sure that things can be mended. A misunderstanding can certainly be resolved, and I know they care for you very deeply, just as you care for them.”
Blitzø nodded, feeling an emotional weight bore down him at the mere mention of it.
“As for your daughter, did you fight with her too?”
Blitzø huffed, shaking his head. “I called her too many times. I was trying to get her to come into work and then Mox started up that bullshit about her and I just couldn’t… I couldn’t handle it.”
Blitzø glared to the side, not wanting to explain the exact sequence of events right away. He was exhausted, not exactly relieved but nearly so. The buzz of anxiety was still prominent and he dropped his head to Stolas’ chest.
“I fucked up because I couldn’t fucking handle anything. I just make everything worse.”
Stolas was quiet before bestowing a light touch to the back of Blitzø’s hand. “I don’t wish to overstep but, would… would it help if I perhaps talked to them for you?”
Blitzø tilted his head back, immediately snagged between three thoughts. It must have shown upon his face because Stolas patiently regarded him.
“What’s on your mind?”
Blitzø faltered before lowering his head in troubled shame. “I don’t fucking know. I’m an adult? Shouldn’t need someone else to fix my fuck ups?”
Stolas laughed, waving a hand when Blitzø whipped up with a hurt expression.
“I’m not laughing at you, darling,” Stolas assured, wrapping his arms around Blitzø and burying his pale, heart-shaped face between the Imp’s horns. “I often have those same thoughts, but, you know, I learned something recently.”
Blitzø grunted in reluctance to the cuddle, not from physical aversion, but from feeling slighted by the laughter. He allowed it though, because he needed the contact. “What was that.”
“I learned that being an adult doesn’t mean that we don’t need help, or that it’s somehow wrong when we accept it.”
“I fucking doubt needing someone to fix your fuck ups is included in that,” Blitzø mumbled, leaning into the feathers that fluffed up over Stolas’ chest.
Soft.
Warm.
Safe.
“Misunderstandings aren’t ‘fuck ups’, Blitzø,” Stolas corrected, watching the way Blitzø’s tail twitched from side-to-side. “I may come across as biased, but I do not believe that you were at fault here. Perhaps neither of you were at fault. Not everything is about blame.”
Blitzø exhaled at length, shuffling sideways against Stolas’ torso and slumping into the Prince’s frame, running his claws through Spirit Jr’s mane. “I said things I shouldn’t have.”
“Don’t we all?” Stolas questioned airily, rocking Blitzø idly in a semi-playful manner.
It was a gentle lull before Blitzø huffed and wriggled. “I’m not a fucking child, don’t-”
“Blitzø, you are far from a child. What saddens me is the erroneous belief that once we become of a certain age, comfort and reassurance is infantilised when it should not be. You need what you need, just as I need what I need. Maybe those things are different, maybe some things are the same. Whatever the case may be, it is so very important that we don’t simply ignore what our needs are, all because of how long we have breathed.”
“My needs aren’t normal,” Blitzø mumbled, lifting up Spirit Jr as a means of example.
“Blitzø, normal isn’t meant to blanket everyone,” Stolas insisted, shaking his head. “It’s normal for me to preen, does that mean you need to?”
That had Blitzø confused, giving the owl a raised eyebrow. “You have fucking feathers, idiot. What the fuck would I preen? I don’t have feathers like you.”
“Exactly,” Stolas smiled, expression fond. “As such, my needs are different. You don’t need to concern yourself with what normal means to others. All that matters is what is normal to you.”
“That doesn’t- people don’t understand-”
“They don’t need to understand, darling. They only need to accept, and if they refuse to then you have no need to suffer at the hands of their wilful ignorance. I may not understand everything about you, but I certainly accept everything about you.”
Blitzø felt himself warm, the sentiment not lost on him. He clenched his jaw before nudging Stolas’ in a small, playful gesture.
“I don’t understand a fucking thing about you,” he returned, bumping Stolas’ chin until the owl emitted a soft hoot. “I do accept everything about you too, or whatever.”
He could feel Stolas fluff up in response to those words, felt the hug around him tighten and didn’t miss the way the owl’s cheeks dusted pink. Blitzø blinked at him, trying to work out what exactly such a response could mean.
He knew what it was supposed to mean, but…
For him?
That matter aside… he liked the idea.
He liked the idea.
Blitzø’s eyes widened and he set Spirit Jr down upon the balustrade, gaze never straying from the owl who once again tilted his head questioningly.
Stolas said he didn’t understand everything...
Maybe… Blitzø didn’t have to understand everything either?
“Hm?”
Blitzø studied the male in front of him before sitting up on his knees and gingerly reaching up to pet Stolas’ florentine tufts, getting lost in the feel of them as he contemplated his own feelings.
He didn’t know. He just knew they felt… strong.
Stolas trilled softly, leaning into Blitzø’s palm and the Imp’s heart fluttered pleasantly, making him smile without realising it.
“You… sure you still wanna see me?” he asked in a whisper, moving his hands down to Stolas’ shoulders.
“I never meant for you to think otherwise,” Stolas assured, wrapping his arms around Blitzø’s waist. “I would have you with me always if I could.”
Blitzø processed that with stunted comprehension, unsure as to whether he was just slow, or just that damaged when it came to trust.
He wanted to trust Stolas, though.
“You can have me till that fucking mess leaves my block,” he joked lightly, forced to close an eye as Stolas nuzzled him.
“So generous,” Stolas replied in kind, giving Blitzø a gentle squeeze. “What about after?”
Blitzø tilted his head back, enjoying the tokens of affection that he had sorely missed.
“You could just… text me?” he suggested, nervous because he wasn’t sure when the owl would be available or… or when he’d want to meet up. He held his breath before deciding to brave the topic. “I can… get too much or too little and I don’t wanna fucking… you know. Annoy you or some shit.”
Stolas tutted softly, clicking his beak in a chiding manner. “You could never annoy me. What if I annoy you, hm?”
“Nah, I’ll make time I promise. I can pop by a couple times a week, easy.”
“We should go places too, you know,” Stolas murmured, linking his talons behind Blitzø’s back.
“Sure, you got places in mind?” Blitzø asked, fussing with the downy plumes that had gained his full attention.
“Oh I don’t know,” Stolas sighed, sounding thoughtful. “Stargazing, Cafés, Riding, Movies, Restaurants, Clubs. Wherever, really.”
Blitzø sniggered, finding the suggestions funny. “Those sound like fucking date pla- oh.” He blinked owlishly at Stolas, realising that was the owl’s actual intent. “Oh.”
Stolas bubbled with laughter, and this time Blitzø didn’t mind it, though his thoughts were racing at a rate he couldn’t grasp them.
Stolas’ entire demeanour seemed to melt. “It is a conversation to be had, sweetheart. Not one for now.”
Blitzø timidly looked up at the demon he genuinely found comfort with. “You… sure?”
Stolas hummed thoughtfully, looking back out at the ever-lightning sky. “Does knowing my intent put you off of seeing me?”
“Does it fuck!” Blitzø exclaimed without missing a beat, only to clamp a hand over his mouth.
“Well, that is a relief,” Stolas tittered, propping his chin up on a palm whilst trailing a talon down Blitzø’s sloping face. “I would rather hate to put you off with my attempts at wooing you.”
Fuck.
The way Blitzø’s stomach flipped was new and he recoiled from the touch, looking the owl over as Stolas smiled coyly, though he lowered his hand at Blitzø’s reaction.
Blitzø furrowed his eyebrows, feeling an urge within and finding himself unable to decipher what it meant.
Which irritated him.
He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do, but he knew he wanted to do something.
“Can I kiss you?”
Guess that’s what he wanted to do.
Stolas chuffed softly, now looking nervous himself. “I’d prefer a kiss to you bowing to me, that is for absolute certain.”
Blitzø scowled, shaking his head as he shrugged. “Was trying to show that I… was thankful or some shit. I don’t know. I’d never treated you as a Prince before. Figured I should have.”
“I’d rather you treat me as you always have, with more open communication between us so we can better be there for each other,” Stolas said a little flatly, looking disappointed.
“Everyone else treats you-”
“I don’t-” Stolas inhaled deeply, giving Blitzø a long-suffering look. “I don’t want to be a Prince in your eyes, Blitzø. I want to be me. I want to be Stolas. I want to be the owl who likes to read and-”
“Collect plants and shit, watch dumbass romance shows and own a bajillion different fucking preening oils but only uses peach,” Blitzø finished for him, already grinning. “Yeah. I get it. No more bowing, no more respect. I’ll even go back to breaking into this dump just to take inappropriate snaps of you doing fuck knows what.”
Blitzø’s entire mood elevated when Stolas puffed up and then glared at him, instantly indignant at the mere mention of such antics.
He poked Blitzø’s cheek before tugging it a little. “Of course. Please do return to being a brat so that I can spank you.”
“You’ve never fucking spanked me,” Blitzø scoffed, pushing the offending hand away and holding it instead.
“I should start.”
“So can I kiss you now?”
“Oh, I’m not rewarding your bad behaviour.”
Blitzø barked out a laugh, and glanced over to the balcony doors. “We should go bed. It’s fucking early and… I gotta…” he trailed off, biting his lip and lashing his tail before reaching for Stolas’ sleeve. “Can… can you…? Would you mind…ex-explaining to Mox…?” He struggled with how to properly ask and nearly glossed over trying altogether but Stolas lifted him up from under his arms, leaving Blitzø to dangle as he was twirled around.
“First thing tomorrow, so you can both be at ease,” Stolas promised, turning towards his Palace whilst Blitzø tried to calm his sudden palpitations.
He was deposited upon the bed and left there, Stolas walking back out and reappearing with Spirit Jr in his arms.
The sight did something to Blitzø’s heart, overwhelmed by the fact that Stolas didn’t need to know why, he simply respected the fact that it was.
He never questioned what Blitzø needed.
“Must double check I collected everything you needed from your apartment,” the owl was saying, leaning over to adjust Blitzø’s pillow.
Maybe it was the relief.
Maybe it was the gratitude.
Maybe it was everything that had happened and he’d finally lost his fucking marbles, Blitzø didn’t know.
All he knew was that he was reaching for the owl without proper thought, wrapping his arms tightly around Stolas’ torso and rolling him onto the sheets. The demon in question ended up sprawled across them awkwardly on his front, eyes wide and startled as Blitzø pinned him there triumphantly.
“Did you not want me to lay your blanket out for you?” He asked, making a feeble attempt to at least sit up on his elbows. He was denied, Blitzø growling softly and shoving him back down, tail lashing with excitement.
Stolas laughed, catching on quick as he attempted to reciprocate the gentle rough-housing, something else that Blitzø felt overly emotional over. He grinned, keeping the owl pinned despite the other not really trying to fight him.
“I take it my quilt will suffice?” Stolas inquired, turning his head all the way round and promptly making Blitzø pout.
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Break your neck just to look at me.”
“Oh! Darling I would break so more to even get a glance-”
Blitzø scoffed, shuffling off the owl’s back and crawling under the taller male’s feathered frame, ignoring Stolas’ surprised hoot.
“Have you asserted yourself adequately enough for the time being?” he asked, propping his cheek on a palm as he lay on his side.
Blitzø swiped him in the face with his tail as he tugged the quilt back and started when he felt the end of it being grasped. An unusual flitter of tingles ran up his spine, causing his spikes to stand on end and he blinked back at the Prince who had the concave end in his beak.
“Don’t eat my tail.”
“It’s a very delicious tail.”
Blitzø huffed out a laugh, tugging it from the owl’s mouth and flopping towards him. He didn’t protest when he was pulled in by long feathered arms, content to leave the sanctuary of the actual bed in favour of the downy plumes he preferred above all else.
He exhaled at length as they merely rested, Stolas’ head laying upon Blitzø’s stomach as the Imp curled up slightly, nuzzling into dark florentine tufts, inhaling the scent that gave him so much fucking comfort it made his vision blur with the surge of emotion.
“Thank you for accepting me,” he whispered, voice tight from the effort it took not to cry.
“Thank you for accepting me, too,” Stolas whispered back, reaching up to intertwine their hands together. “We’ll sort everything out when we wake, and then we can just enjoy the weekend.”
Blitzø nodded, rubbing his face against the quills he was snuffling.
“If you’d like, we could go to the Café you wanted to on Sunday?” Stolas offered, stroking Blitzø’s knuckles as he spoke. “We can invite your friends too, as a way to break the ice.”
Blitzø swallowed hard. “What if they say no?”
“Then we can still go.”
“What if something happens and you don’t want to go?”
“I want to go.”
“What if something changes?”
Stolas stilled and finally pushed himself up a little so he could gaze at the Imp who anxiously looked down at him.
“I… this whole thing- change is really… hard,” Blitzø tried to explain, visibly self-conscious. “It kinda… makes me nervous to… plan anything at all but then not planning just- it’s…”
“Painful?” Stolas offered, earning himself a dejected nod.
“It makes my chest hurt,” Blitzø admitted, fiddling with a feather that had come loose whilst Stolas was under him. “I feel like my head will explode and it’s just… fucking stupid but I can’t handle it.”
Stolas hummed thoughtfully. “I very much doubt that anything would change, but we can work with it, darling. Would having a plan if things did change help? So you’re not left wondering what’s going to happen?”
Blitzø clenched his jaw. “Isn’t that asking too much?” He blinked rapidly when Stolas nudged him to look up.
“It is never asking too much. Please, please ask me if there’s things I can do. I will do whatever is in my capability to help you get through or around the things you struggle with, Blitzø.”
He was choking up in a way he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold back. “Plan,” was all he managed with a nod, ducking his head into Stolas’ neck.
“Then that’s what we’ll do,” Stolas soothed, leaning over the Imp who blinked with glossy scarlet hues as his horse blanket was pulled over them. He sniffled, the familiar weight of his blanket and the feel of it sending a wave of calm over him.
“There we go,” Stolas smiled, settling down and tucking the edges of the blanket behind Blitzø’s back, ensuring they were both covered from the early morning chill.
Blitzø didn’t ask this time, he all but grabbed Stolas’ face and near-shoved a kiss upon him, making the Prince hoot in surprise- though it was enthusiastically returned within a mere breath of a second.
Blitzø backed off shyly before it could grow into something less innocent, losing words again as he just gazed at the demon who gazed right back at him, an adoring smile upon his heart-shaped features.
Blitzø sniffled, returning the smile wetly before ducking down and nuzzling into Stolas’ chest feathers. He purred lightly when a hand stroked soothingly down his back and he wrapped his tail around the owl’s upper thigh, feeling anchored and secure in Stolas’ arms.
“Whatever happens, never think that you don’t belong. We are all different, and all of our struggles, and our needs, are valid,” Stolas murmured, cerise-rose hues focusing on where his Grimoire rest upon its shelf. “Beyond labels like ‘normal’ and ‘divergent’, the fact we are living beings with thoughts and feelings, should always comes first. Perhaps the most important thing of all, is knowing that there is someone who will always accept you for all your divergencies, no matter what the world may throw.”
He smiled as he closed his eyes, bringing a palm to the back of Blitzø’s head, the Imp having already drifted off.
“There are more stars in our universe than any other entity in existence,” Stolas whispered, starting to drift off in tow. “Not a single one of them is the same, and yet we view each one as precious. We marvel at them all when we observe the night sky.”
He exhaled at length, pillowing his head upon an arm.
“Always remember; we shine the brightest, when we are true to ourselves.”