Chapter Text
Arthur just stood there for he didn't know how long - too long. But eventually, collecting himself, he ran forward to the manservant lying passed out in front of the door. He decided to process everything Merlin had said later, once he knew for certain that he was okay. He checked Merlin's head first, to see if he had cracked it when he fell, but he couldn't detect any damage. After that, he raked his eyes over the younger man's body, trying to see if there was anything he should be concerned about. His gaze caught on a dark patch on Merlin's tunic, slowly but steadily growing larger. He gulped, and lifted the blue fabric carefully, wincing when it stuck to Merlin's chest and he had to tug harder to set it free. Once he had uncovered it, he gasped. There were so many scars. Littered all over his manservant's body like art work. No one should have this many scars. Thanks to the sheer number of them, it took Arthur a while to determine the source of the blood. There was a relatively small wound in Merlin's left side, just between his bottom two ribs, but by the looks of it, and the amount of blood pouring from it, it was deep. A stab wound then, he determined. Arthur caught sight of thread poking out of the skin and realised it had been stitched over, only to be reopened, and with a flash of guilt, he realised it must have been during the fight where Merlin had protected him. Even thinking it sounded weird. But he steeled himself, setting his mind into knight mode and picked up the unconscious servant bridal-style, walking to the door.
The guards from earlier had left to take the assassin to the dungeons, but two new ones had taken their places. Their eyes widened when they saw Merlin covered in blood, unconscious, and both seemed to almost go for their swords, jumping to the conclusion that it had been Arthur's blade which had caused such damage, but upon seeing their king's distraught face, they relaxed slightly, and put their swords back.
"Sire-," one of them started. But Arthur shook his head and continued down the corridors, finding his way to Gaius's chambers. Once he got there, he almost knocked, before realising that even if he wanted to, Merlin was taking up both his arms. So he walked right in and called for the physician, decidedly ignoring the slight waver in his voice.
Gaius poked his head up from where he was buried a book, and upon seeing who had called his name - and more importantly, who was in his arms - he shot over to them, rushing to prepare the sick bed for his ward, eyes open and scared before he he seemed to snap out of it, his physician side taking over. He barely spared the time to rake a suspicious eye over Arthur, seemingly coming to the same conclusion as the guards, before taking into account the kings clear worry and deciding it could wait till later. Gaius cleaned the wound and brought out a needle and thread, his old fingers following the motions with practiced ease. Arthur couldn't look away, even as nausea built up in him as he watched the needle sink in and out of Merlin's skin. Still, he said nothing. Once Gaius determined the wound sufficient, and that Merlin wasn't going to die from blood loss, he turned to Arthur, questions on the tip of his tongue.
"What happened?" He demanded.
Arthur put his head in his hands. "I don't know," he admitted, his eyes looking up between his fingers at the old physician who had been more of a father to him than his own ever had. "Merlin was really tired when he came in today, and I asked him about it, but he didn't tell me anything, and then- then a- an assassin tried to kill me, apparently, and Merlin... fought him... and won, and questioned him, and then- I don't know, he started telling me all these things that sounded like nonsense except for the way he said it I could tell he was telling the truth but-" Arthur stopped, taking a breath. "He said, he said he had saved my life before, he said he'd done it so many times he couldn't count and he'd done it with-" he broke off, trying to summon the courage to come to terms with what Merlin had told him. "Magic. Gaius, he told me he saved my life with magic. And that magic wasn't bad and that Agravaine is consorting with Morgana and that magic isn't the reason she left and they had tortured him and- and he said that Morgause hadn't been lying about Ygraine and he- um- then he collapsed and I checked him over and I found his wound and came straight to you but I don't know where he got it, the assassin in my chambers didn't draw any blood, at least not that I saw, but he had clearly already stitched it up or- or someone had but if you didn't know about it then it must have been him and-" Arthur didn't know when he had started crying, but tears were pouring silently down his cheeks. He sniffed and gave a half-laugh, wiping them away with his sleeve. "I don't know why I'm crying over this. He's a... sorcerer." Saying it out loud made it real and he swallowed bitterly.
Gaius opened his arms, and Arthur fell into them willingly, burying his head in the old man's robes.
"There, my boy, it'll be okay. And he's not a sorcerer," Gaius soothed.
Arthur looked up. "But- he has magic?"
"Yes, indeed he does, but unlike a sorcerer, Merlin's magic is instinctual, he was born with it, he didn't learn it, which makes him a warlock. Yes he has learnt to do some specific spells since arriving here, but for Merlin, magic is like oxygen, running in his blood, without it, he'd die," Gaius explained to him softly, rubbing his hands up and down Arthur's back as he spoke as if to lessen the blow of them.
Arthur sucked in a breath. Merlin had mentioned that he was born with it, he remembered, not that he'd taken it in at the time. "Of course, you knew too. But then, he's been lying to me ever since he arrived here?" He asked, his voice weak.
"Well, yes, but not always willingly. I must take some of the blame for that, after all if not for me, I think Merlin would have told you long ago," Gaius's head bowed as he admitted this. "I was so scared for him, I didn't want him to reveal himself, but I fear I may have done more harm than good."
Arthur took a deep, shuddering breath, and loosened himself from Gaius's hold. The fact that Merlin would have told him, would have trusted him with this, somehow made it a bit easier to bear. Still sucked though.
"Did you know about the assassins?" Arthur inquired, regaining some of his composure.
Gaius looked up sharply. "I thought you said there was only one?"
"Well, only one that I saw, but Merlin said that that was the second one, and the assassin said there was another on its way," Arthur said.
"I see," responded Gaius. "No, I didn't know about any assassins. He did come in late last night, but I figured he had just been with you, sire. As far as I know, he's never met an assassin before, let alone fought one. When you say he fought him, what exactly did he use?" he added, as though a thought had suddenly occurred to him.
"A dagger, I believe," Arthur replied.
Gaius's eyebrow rose. "I didn't know he knew how to identify one, let alone fight with it. I didn't think he could fight with anything except his magic, really."
"I didn't know he had any skills in such things," Arthur snorted, before sobering up. Barely concealing the wonder in his voice, he continued. "But, Gaius, when I watched him, it was incredible. He seemed to know his opponent's moves before they did, it was like watching a dance, I've never seen someone move so smoothly. And only moments before he had been almost falling asleep standing up."
Gaius's eyebrow was rising higher and higher as he spoke, which told Arthur that he really hadn't known of Merlin's secret skill. Turns out the man had had more secrets than even Gaius knew. Arthur felt a strange sense of satisfaction in the knowledge that he wasn't the only person Merlin didn't trust, but only ended up feeling worse about how little he knew the person he had thought of as his closest friend, if not something more.
"I don't suppose you know anything about the um, the scars?" Arthur asked quietly, as though afraid to voice them.
"Some of them, yes, as I was the one to heal them, but most of them - the more recent ones - are as much a mystery to me as they are to you, my lord," the physician told him, bowing his head again in shame.
Arthur mulled this over. But then a noise from the sickbed startled him out of his musings and he moved quickly over to be by Merlin's side. His manservant's eyes were flickering beneath his eyelids, before they shot open and Merlin sat up sharply, flinging his arms out in defense from whoever was by his side. Upon seeing that it was Arthur, his vision cleared slightly and he lowered his arms, however he kept himself in a position ready to fight or flee at any point. Arthur held up his hands in surrender, trying to seem as unoffensive as possible in the face of the flighty warlock.
"Hey, it's okay, you're safe," Arthur attempted. Seeing his manservant's eyes still looking about wildly, he added, "I'm safe too, nothing's trying to attack me right now."
At this, Merlin settled slightly, although he still eyed him warily. Arthur's heart broke a little as he saw how afraid of him Merlin was. Merlin, of all people, who stood up to him and talked back and challenged him to a fight the first time he met him, was afraid of him. It was something he had never associated with Merlin, and it made his heart ache, to think of it.
---
Merlin's heart was beating in his chest so fast he thought it would be audible to everyone in the room. Arthur knew about his magic. Arthur had seen him fight an assassin, god, he had ranted so much back there in the chambers. He hadn't meant to, but once it had started it all came pouring out, all the secrets he had worked so hard to hide over the years spilt in one morning. He looked at Arthur in front of him, his hands in the air and a soft smile on his face which did nothing to assuage Merlin's fear and guilt.
"I- I'm so sorry," he said eventually, and Arthur's face crinkled up in confusion which Merlin found adorable - not that he would ever say so.
"What for?" Arthur asked, bewildered.
Now it was Merlin's turn to be confused. Surely Arthur had heard him confess to having magic? "For... lying to you for so long? For keeping secrets? And for... the whole... you know... magic thing?"
"You don't have to be sorry for that, Gaius explained it to me. You can't help how you were born and as for the lies, well I can't exactly blame you. Although really, what were you thinking, coming to Camelot of all places?" Arthur chastised, thinking of the danger Merlin had put himself in.
Merlin huffed a short laugh. "It wasn't much worse than the danger I was in back at home - in Essetir, they enslave magic users which would honestly be worse than dying, in my opinion."
Arthur frowned, trying to comprehend the fear that must have been instilled into Merlin since he was born. He closed his eyes as he felt a surge of protectiveness for the bony servant in front of him.
"Merlin," he breathed. Gaius decided that now was a really good time to go out and collect herbs. "Merlin, Merlin, Merlin," he repeated, shaking his head, not in exasperation, just in disbelief.
"...Yes?" Asked Merlin, raising a brow at Arthur's weird movements.
"Just... Merlin," Arthur smiled. "There is no one in the world like you is there?"
Merlin frowned. He brought a hand up to feel Arthur's forehead. It felt alright, although it heated under Merlin's palm, and he watched as a blush worked its way up Arthur's face. The king caught Merlin's wrist gently, holding it easily between his thumb and middle finger, holding it as though it was something precious and meeting Merlin's gaze.
"Don't ever change," Arthur whispered fervently, rubbing his thumb in circles over Merlin's pulse.
"I fear I already have, beyond repair," Merlin replied, almost inaudible it was so quiet, but Arthur caught the words as clearly as if they'd been shouted.
"Hey," he said, tilting Merlin's chin up. "You don't need repairing. You have been through so much, but that doesn't define who you are, oh Merlin," he reiterated, and Merlin loved the way his name sounded on Arthur's tongue. "You are so much more than that, there is more to you than anyone knows, and I love you all the more for it. But if there's one thing I do know about you, it's that you don't bow down to anyone, not even the king. So don't start now." He knew they needed to talk about a lot of things - what did Merlin mean he couldn't die, and that he'd tried?? - but for now, just this was enough, in this moment, just the two of them.
Merlin's eyes widened as he heard what Arthur said. "You-" Arthur cut him off with a finger to his lips, nodding.
"Yes, Merlin, I do. More than anyone and anything in this world. You saved me before I knew I needed saving, and you've been the best constant thing in my life, always there when I need you. And I feel like such an idiot for only just realising that the thing I've been searching for has been by my side this whole time," Arthur confessed, his eyes not leaving Merlin's.
Merlin's blue eyes stretched even wider, his face more open, more genuine, than Arthur had ever seen it.
"I... me too," Merlin said in the end, unable to say the words.
Arthur's smile grew somehow even softer, looking at Merlin in a way that took his breath away.
Slowly, giving Merlin enough time to back out if he wanted, Arthur leaned in and captured Merlin's lips beneath his own briefly before backing away. Merlin chased his lips, bringing his arms around Arthur's neck and pressing himself against his king. Arthur responded in kind, taking his hand from Merlin's chin to cup his jaw, his other snaking its way around his waist, pulling him as close as he physically could, feeling as though he could never be close enough to him.
Merlin was the one to deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue over Arthur's bottom lip and Arthur opened up for him readily, uncaring of the lack of oxygen for he was breathing in Merlin, Merlin, Merlin. Soon enough, though, they had to break apart, both panting for oxygen, and they rested their foreheads together, gazing into each others' eyes. They stayed like that for a while, just basking in the other's affections, neither of them willing to part for long. Arthur pressed another chaste kiss to Merlin's lips and grinned, doing it again and again and again until Merlin was laughing, his grin splitting wide from ear to ear, eyes crinkled in amusement and adoration of the man before him.
Before long, however, they realised they should probably move, if they didn't want to give Gaius a heart attack whenever he got back. They stumbled together through the halls, barely containing their high spirits, bubbling up between them and infecting anyone they passed. They made it to Arthur's chambers and collapsed against his door together, staring at each other and bursting out into laughter until they'd run out, just gazing at each other with so much love.
They hadn't forgotten about the threat of the third assassin, but this time, Merlin knew Arthur would be safe, and Arthur knew Merlin wouldn't hide from him any longer. It would take time to sort things out, there were still so many things that needed addressing, like the scars, but they'd come, with time, and with the stories that Merlin clearly has. That night, Merlin stayed in Arthur's chambers until daylight, and it was the best night's sleep he'd had in years, his head on Arthur's chest and Arthur's arm around his waist. He still woke up with a start - old habits die hard after all - making to jump out of bed, but Arthur stopped him with a sleepy grunt, pulling him closer, and Merlin complied.