Chapter Text
That night, The Guide and Nadja stayed up late to plan a welcome party at the student nightclub. Two floors down, in the freshman corridor, Guillermo and Derek sat anxiously on their floor. Waiting for the reckless courage to hit them. “He’s probably not even awake” Derek rationalized. Guillermo jumped in “No, he definitely is!”
“How do you know?!”
“I passed him on the way back from the student kitchen… by the way” Guillermo opened up a plastic bag and passed Derek a Diet Coke. “I got us some snacks to keep us awake”
“Oh thanks, I actually can’t drink these though” Derek rolled the can in his hands before setting it down behind him.
“W-why.. not?”
“I have ADHD, caffeine has the opposite effect”
“Oh, interesting. Well I have sprite too” Guillermo fished a very damp can of sprite out of the bottom of the bag and handed it over.
“Oh thanks buddy!” Derek cracked the tab and took a dainty, pathetic sip. “We should tell Abraham his mom died”
“WOAH! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!” Guillermo raised his hands defensively and leaned back.
“Sorry! I’m just HYPED!”
~
“Why the fuck is this so difficult?!” The Guide Lamented. She and Nadja were sitting on her rickety dorm bed and planning the first school event of the semester. This was her least favorite thing to do. Nadja however, was there to help her whenever she needed a fresh opinion.
“It’s not difficult, you’re just a crazy perfectionist” nadja looked down at her phone, when she caught a glance at the time she cringed.
“I’m not actually a perfectionist, I’m just worried that we won’t have time to have the dance AND have dinner AND get 12 hours of sleep” The Guide buried her head in her hands and groaned loudly.
“WE DONT NEED 12 FUCKING HOURS OF SLEEP!”
“YES WE DO!! Or else the day is going to still be on us!”
Nadja sighed “I will never understand you”
“You know how when you do something during the day, the feeling sticks to you? Then when you sleep, it goes away? like you’re collecting tasks in a little bag and when you go to bed you empty it” The Guide’s eyes were blown wide as she tried to explain what she thought was an extremely simple concept.
“………..no. But fine, why don’t you just let me figure out the time and you can stay home from the actual dance. I’ll say you’re sick or something” nadja
“..I looovvveee yoouuu” The Guide batted her eyelashes and made a heart with her hands to show her appreciation.
Nadja rested her head on her left hand and looked into The Guide’s big, blue, sleep deprived eyes “I love you too. But I’m about to be a real raging bitch if we don’t take a break soon”
“We can stop now, it’s really late” The Guide got out of bed and headed for the fridge.
“Grab me a glass of wine!” Nadja shouted after her
The Guide didn’t even look back as she retrieved
a bundle of tin foil from her side of the fridge “You’re not supposed to drink on your medication” she shouted back, now rummaging through the cupboard for said medication.
“What are you? A cop?” Nadja grumbled.
“You know full well I ain't’ a cop, or a narc, or a snitch!” The Guide retaliated as she chucked a packet of fruit snacks at her roommate.
“One more?” Nadja asked innocently. She sure as hell was not prepared for the entire box to come flying at her head. “FUCKING HELL!” She screamed as she barely caught the family sized box.
The Guide giggled and sat back down next to nadja. She handed her a blue pill bottle and popped open one of her own. She poured 4 capsules into her hand and tossed them down her throat.
“I can’t fucking believe you dry swallow pills, freak” Nadja teased.
“I dry swallow your mom’s dick” Just then, The Guide’s phone started to ring.
“Hello?” She greeted.
“Hi! Uhhhh.. Is this Emma?” The Guide could have sworn she heard faint chuckling in the background, but she decided to ignore it.
“Yes? Sorry, who is this?” She remained polite.
“um, this is Abraham’s little brother. He wanted me to tell you that he has warts on his pee pee!” Now she was sure she heard laughing. That, coupled with the fact that her boyfriend was an only child made her eyes roll into the back of her head.
Nadja snatched the phone from her roommate and shouted into it; “YEAH HE GOT THEM FROM YOUR SLUTTY MOTHER! LEAVE MY FRIEND ALONE YOU STUPID CUNT HOLE!” With that, she hung up the phone and tossed it back to The Guide. “Άντε γαμήσου (ante gamisou - go fuck yourself) ” she mumbled.
“Thanks, mommy” The Guide chuckled out.
“Anytime, babygirl” Nadja leaned back against the foot of the bed and closed her eyes for a second, but they popped open again when a terrible fishy smell hit her nose.
“Oi, what the fuck?!” Nadja exclaimed as she took in the sight in front of her. The Guide had unwrapped her little tin foil bundle and laying inside was a whole ass raw herring absolutely covered in raw white onions.
“Is this dinner, my darling?” Nadja asked with a pained look on her face.
“Yeah! It’s a traditional snack where I’m from! Abraham showed it to me because he’s also Dutch” The Guide seemed excited, her adorable enthusiasm almost made up for the sensory nightmare she was putting Nadja through.
“Out of all the things he’s shown you, this is somehow the least repulsive” Nadja jested.
“It’s really good! Abe has at least one every day. Plus, it’s about time I branch out with my tastes” The Guide smiled brightly and poked around at the onions for a bit.
“Isn't it part of your OCD that you have severe food aversions?” Nadja pointed out with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms.
“…yes, but I’m trying” The Guide’s face softened a little. Nadja almost felt bad, but she didn’t, girly needed a reality check. None the less, Nadja sighed, “there’s no way in shit you’re going to be able to handle the texture of a whole fucking sea creature. Do you want me to cut him into pieces for you?”
The Guide paused “……….yes please”
Knock knock knock
“WHAT?!” Nadja yelled
“Is Emma in there?”
Nadja rolled her eyes… and her neck. It was no secret that she hated her roommate‘s boyfriend. He was the very embodiment of everything Nadja hated about men: possessive, rude, stupid, selfish… she could go on.
“Coming!” The Guide shouted as she eagerly jumped up from her spot by her pillow. She swung open the door and threw her arms around the most repulsive man Nadja had ever had the misfortune of meeting.
“What are you doing up?” The Guide asked
“I was tapping the vending machines for change, pretty successful haul today” he shoved past The Guide and entered the girls’ room.
“Oh please, do come in!” Nadja greeted sarcastically.
Abraham immediately sat down on The Guide’s bed where she had been sitting previously.
“How’s planning going?” He asked as he dumped out a plastic bag full of quarters onto his girlfriend’s bed.
“It’s going” she responded. The Guide took a seat on the floor next to her bed as it was now fully occupied.
Nadja handed down her dinner and paused for just a moment to glare at Abraham who was using his girlfriend’s bedroom as a money laundering site.
“Remind me again why you’re here? We’re a little bit busy if you couldn’t fucking tell!” Nadja snapped. She had been trying to convince her friend to dump him for months and was determined to make it happen by the end of the semester.
“I can’t visit my girlfriend?”
“YOU’RE NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION TO HER! Not to mention you’re taking up valuable time we need to plan this stupid fucking freshman party! So if you don’t mind I’d like you to go to your own fucking room, detective bowl cut!”
The Guide sat silently, even when Abraham turned to look at her. Wordlessly, he got up, collected his things and kissed her on the head before leaving.
“Shall we get back to work?” The Guide said gently.
“Not yet, we’re still on break, babygirl”