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"Why don't you call me your son?" Hatz asks Isu one day, after Shibisu whips out a self made adoption sheet for Ran and Novick to sign. It's the 4th one he's seen today, because Ran kept burning it into a crisp with his lightning and Novick just sat back and let him do it. It seems that the young Khun has finally relented, however, because he grips the pen and scrawls his name with a sigh and "You can't be worse than Eduan, I suppose."
"I appreciate your trust in me," Shibisu says to Ran in the same solemn tone and then carefully folds the sheaf of paper up to probably frame it and hang it on his bedroom wall, like he did with the ones he got from Endorsi, Anaak, Rak, all the weirdos from Team Sweet and Sour, and Bam. No Khun yet, because he had a tendency to ruin them fantastically whenever Shibisu worked up the courage to present him with one.
Hatz doesn't let Shibisu forget about his question that easily, though. "Why don't you call me your son? Where's my adoption paper?"
Shibisu looks at him as if he was some obscure creature from outer space. "Because that would be weird."
Hatz isn't sure what he's expecting. He's half happy that Isu doesn't see him as a mere family member, but also unhappy. Does he mean more or less to Shibisu than others? "So it's not weird for you to adopt anyone you like, but it's weird for you to adopt me?"
"Do you want to get adopted?" Isu asks.
"...No," Hatz says. "I don't."
And he doesn't. Because wanting to date someone you refer to as "dad" clashes with Hatz's strict warrior code in more ways than one.
Khun Aguero Agnis, otherwise more well known as Ugly Earrings, had become something of a confidante in this whole affair. To be honest, this was the last thing Hatz would have expected them to bond over, but since they were both in similarly disastrous predicaments in which they were both infatuated with their best friends, he'll take what he can get.
"I hate falling in love with people close to me," is what Hatz says as a conversation opener.
"Tell me about it," Khun replies, throwing himself onto the nearest lighthouse. Hatz briefly considers taking a picture of that for future blackmail material.
The two of them remain silent for a moment, awkward silence as thick as fog hanging between them, because it's so unusual for them to be agreeing with each other like this. So Hatz breaks it by insulting Khun's earrings, which are really ostentatiously ugly, so he's not exactly exaggerating by calling them two unripe grapes. Khun throws an ice spear at him which shatters against the wall and they're back to normal again.
"So when are you going to tell Bam, you coward?" Hatz snarls.
Khun lets out a strangled laugh. "You know I'm a coward, Hatz. But I never expected you to be one. When are you going to tell Isu?"
Hatz hesitates for a second, even though they both know the answer, and then fires his next bullet. "You're just too scared to tell him."
This, obviously, strikes something inside Khun, because his pupils narrow like a serpent dripping with venom. "And you're too obsessed with your honour code to tell Isu, too. You're just the same as me."
Hatz will acknowledge that. They're both as cowardly and afraid as the other. Khun probably has a lot more holding him back from telling Bam, so Hatz is lucky. He fell in love with Shibisu, the much more normal one. There isn't the everlasting pressure over him and the ever widening gulf between Khun and Bam. The Tower is not stopping them from possibly getting together. Hatz probably has it so much easier but then he doesn't, because he's still in love.
But here's where Khun has it easier than Hatz: because Bam is obviously reciprocating his feelings. Khun's final obstacle to eternal happiness with Bam is not the Tower, not fate, not getting left behind, it's his own obliviousness.
Does Shibisu like him? It was a question Hatz often asked himself. Shibisu doesn't seem to treat him differently to the others…at all. Except for the fact he refused to adopt him into his ever expanding family. Does Shibisu look at him the way Bam looks at Khun? No. Hatz is special to Isu, but special as in "he's my best friend", not "I would like to call you mine for the rest of my life". But then everyone is special to Isu, he thinks, as he listens to Isu croon over Endorsi's new hairstyle outside the door. To Isu, everyone and everything is family, unless you try to hurt his massive protege. Then you're dead.
"Wait, we're not," Khun says suddenly, a knife sharp edge in his voice, "I don't understand what you see in Shibisu." This is hard for Hatz to protest against, because he can't say, "well, what do you see in Bam?" when the answer is so glaringly clear. Bam is special, the one destined to bring down Jahad and wash the Tower clean with the blood of revolution. He's like the glowing lamp in a dark room, attracting every moth to his radiant warmth. And Shibisu is just so normal in comparison, blending into the background.
"I love him because he's Shibisu," Hatz replies honestly, because it's the truth and also because he knows it'll infuriate Khun the most when he answers back seriously instead of taking the bait and starting another brawl.
It doesn't infuriate Khun, though, because he can relate too. Despite everything his family name implies, Khun doesn't want anything from Bam. He loves Bam for him.
The two of them reach common ground for 2 seconds, and then Hatz insults Khun's hair and they go back to normal.
Shibisu is normal. He seems normal, at least, in this huge storm of powerful and special people in every corner of the Tower, which is enough for him to fade into the background. But then again, his normality is what makes him so special . It's what makes him so able to sneak around unnoticed and gather information. It's what makes him the best Scout on their team. Khun says that Bam is the glue holding their team together, but Hatz disagrees. Bam intrigues people, yes, but Shibisu is the one that makes them stay, his silent care and support for everyone else like clear glue holding them all together, threads that only become visible under light.
If Shibisu is glue, Hatz is a solitary pair of scissors. And it's ironic, too, like a huge cosmic joke. Hatz has never been good at making people stay. He remembers how he pushed all his siblings away to train, hacking away at straw men and eventually real men of flesh and bone. It surprises him how easy they are to cut.
He once thought that it was power that allowed domination over others. But the longer he spent in the Tower, the more he realised how futile power was. Yes, you could make others bow to you, but how many will have your back when you're in trouble?
Once upon a time, he strived for strength, training day and night just for a chance to be chosen for the Tower.
Now he strives for strength, just so he can stay with Shibisu.
"I'm really weak, Hatz," Shibisu says the day Khun leaves their team after Bam's death. His normal smile is gone and his chestnut brown eyes are downcast and distraught. "I don't think I can do this."
"You're the smartest one here," Hatz reminds him.
Shibisu gives him a sad smile. "You can't get by on wits alone."
Hatz silently squeezes Isu's shoulder and tells himself with a whisper:
"Then I'll be your blade."
He plans on making good on that promise.
"We really need an intervention," Shibisu says to Hatz one day. He chokes magnificently on his water, because he didn't think that he was being that obvious. If this was true, Ugly Earrings would never let him live it down. Oh god . He knew it. Hanging around that ugly blue haired gay disaster was contagious.
"For what?" Hatz eventually says, after hacking out the water that spilled into his windpipe.
Shibisu keeps massaging his back up and down, eyes tinged with concern. "You know who I'm talking about."
"... The two of us?"
Shibisu looks at him like he's some sort of otherworldly organism. "No. Khun and Bam."
Oh.
Hatz nods dumbly back. Yes. Of course. He could not have been that damn obvious. At least not as obvious as the two dimwits Isu was now speaking about. They already act like an old married couple and their mutual pining is absolutely insufferable . No. He could not possibly stoop to the level of Khun and Bam. That would go against his code of honour. By like, 50 metres. "They do need to confess to each other."
"Do you think if I just started spamming them with quizzes or articles like "how do I tell if my crush reciprocates my feelings" and "how to know if I have a crush on someone" they would start making a move on each other?"
There are quizzes like that? Hatz made a mental note to do some of them.
"I think Bam would take the hint," he offers wisely.
Shibisu taps his chin thoughtfully and sinks into one of his silent trances. Hatz likes to watch Shibisu deep in thought. His chocolate brown eyes glaze over and one can almost see the cogs whizzing behind them. It's incredibly docile, but at the same time there's a certain buzz of activity. Alive, and so, so beautiful.
"If I got them drunk and locked them in the same room, would that work?"
Chasing away the very sacrilegious images in his mind of Khun and Bam going at it behind a locked door, Hatz nods. "Perhaps," he says, mind already elsewhere.
What if he and Isu were in the same room, drunk out of their minds and insides burning like fire? What would happen then?
Or maybe Shibisu would just puke on his bed. He tended to do that.
"Why do we need an intervention?" Shibisu suddenly asks, eyes narrowing. Hatz freezes like a deer caught in headlights.
"It was…a joke."
Shibisu blinks back at him in confusion. "Hatz, I don't think I've ever heard you joke in 25 years."
Well, shit. He's officially gone out of his way to do something completely out of character. Hatz tries to save the last remnants of his dignity by saying, "I'm sure it wasn't that long ago. At most 10."
Isu looks at him a little more, dark brown eyes suddenly becoming a little too piercing, and Hatz gets the feeling he's being looked up and down by a sweeping radar field. It's almost like he can see straight through Hatz, right into his already toppling set of core values and honour codes.
After what seems like an eternity later, he stops and smiles. "In a good mood today, eh?"
And Hatz nods. Because he's always in a good mood when Shibisu's around.
Another test. Another person falling dead. Hatz didn't really know the guy, but Isu did, someone from his own hometown in the Outer area. They met again on the floor and had multiple continuous weeks of drinking late into the night, so Shibisu came back to the flat intoxicated most of the time at 3 in the morning. Hatz didn't like it, was about to get seriously jealous, and then the man died. Just like that. His envy died with him, leaving Hatz hollow.
And he's seen it time and time again. How Isu crumbles a little more each time and picks up less pieces of himself after.
The thing he hates the most is that Isu never lets himself cry in front of them. They don't have a team of crybabies, that's for sure – the longer you spend in the Tower the more you realise how useless it is to show strong emotion, but occasionally one of them breaks down. Sometimes Endorsi cries when her shoes get ruined after battles, except they all know it's not really about the shoes. Sometimes Anaak spills the occasional tear when she fails at making chicken pot pie. Khun cries, too, when he thinks nobody's looking, mostly when Bam was rendered unconscious. Even Rak's shed a tear over something.
But Shibisu never cries. He hasn't seen a single tear fall from his friend's eyes except for when he was being an annoying drama queen. And he knows, staring at the hunched shadow of Shibisu over the man's corpse, bloody and mangled, his face etched with pain and guilt, that sometime during their many decades together, Isu has learnt to swallow his tears for them.
Seeing Isu hurt like this is more heartbreaking than anyone else on the team. No one expects the one always smiling, always encouraging, always making everyone in the room laugh to be hiding this much pain inside. And when it does, the contrast just makes everything worse.
The team is sombre and solemn afterwards, though they had passed the floor test successfully. Shibisu's grief had dampened everyone's spirits considerably, and their normally rambunctious team were silent for once. No one bothered Isu for the next week. To give him some space, they said, and no one helped him with the funeral either so he could get some individual closure. But Hatz knows it's not the real reason: his teammates are scared. Afraid of seeing Isu like this, because if he falls apart, so will they. The best thing to do for now is to ignore it and pretend everything will eventually be fine.
Bam tried getting Isu out to eat a couple of times, but then one look from Khun spoke enough words to get him to stop trying. Hatz didn't, though. He made sure to teleport in food during the mealtimes and refused to leave until the plate came back through, at least partially eaten. When he wasn't training, Hatz was sitting like a Buddha outside the door, leaning against his katana, his teammates giving him pained looks every time they walked down the corridor.
When Isu opens the door, Hatz is there, like always. Face stoic as usual, but obsidian eyes glinting with joy. Hands outstretched, ready for Shibisu to fall into, like they've always been.
Khun scrolls through his lighthouse on ETower, Hatz sitting behind him and lovingly polishing his various swords.
It's Shibisu's birthday coming up a month from today, which the tracksuit clad man had dropped several subtle hints about throughout the week, which managed to thoroughly annoy and stress everyone out on what to get him. Hence Khun's intensive scrolling through various items on ETower.
"Maybe I'll get him a tracksuit," Hatz muses.
"No," Khun says smoothly. "Because I'm already getting him one."
Well now he's definitely not getting a tracksuit. He isn't getting anything Ugly Earrings is. It's one thing for wanting your gift to be special and another for being so desperate you had to copy off Khun. No. Absolutely not .
Hatz is running out of ideas. Endorsi was apparently buying him some sort of high class trainers (Hatz didn't really see the point, but whatever); Lauroe was going to gift him a pillow; Bam was cooking for the night, so he didn't have to get anything else; Anaak was apparently making Isu's present by hand, something Hatz was secretly worried about because it was sure to be an absolute disaster, but at least she knew what she was going to give Isu. Hatz had no idea.
"Isu likes to drink, right?" Bam says after Hatz wanders around looking like a confused mess for a couple of minutes in the kitchen. "You can get him a bottle or two."
"That's not very special," Hatz says flatly.
Bam's eyes twinkle with mischief, gold eyes alight and dancing. "Anything you give him will be special, Hatz. Trust me." Hatz feels somewhat annoyed that Bam seems to be able to see right through him, so he retaliates: "Yes, the next time Khun's birthday comes around, just tie a bow in your hair and wait for him in bed. That's very special."
"It's not like I haven't considered it," Bam says, completely unfazed, and Hatz promptly chokes on air.
That lucky blue bastard.
"My master has a lot of wine. I can get some for free," Bam offers.
Hatz ends up declining: because who in their right mind would ever eat or drink something provided by FUG? If Shibisu was not dead the very second the liquid touched his lips, he would be lucky.
He ends up brewing his own liquor. Yes, he can do something other than saw away at trees, thank you so much, Khun .
A long time ago, his father had taught him how to make it. A blend of fermented rice and apples plucked from his village's orchard. He had never eaten any apple that could possibly surpass it, and it gave the normally bland sake an intoxicating sweet scent of its blossoms. Sourcing the apple was half the trial already–seeing as there weren't any on sale in the Tower. With some help from Khun, Hatz made an account on this random online black market, and after some intense discussion with the seller (discussion could be read more accurately as threatening ) he received the box of apples right to the team's doorstep.
"Have you decided to become a vegan?" Anaak asked, eyeing the apples suspiciously. Next to her, Endorsi tried to steal one and Hatz mercilessly swatted her hand away, much to the princess's outrage. "I thought you were on a diet."
"It's cheat day," she snarled back, withdrawing her bright red talons.
Bam gave Hatz a knowing grin. He wishes he could slap it off his face. People tend to notice when Bam smiles.
The next step is to ferment the wine without Isu noticing. Having known the man for at least 4 decades now, Hatz understood first hand how terrifyingly accurate Isu's sense of smell was. He could pick up the smallest scent in the wind and pinpoint exactly where it came from. Naturally this skill helped him become an exceptional scout, but it was really annoying when the other team members wanted to hide something from him.
Of course this meant that Hatz couldn't ferment the wine in their house. It was just asking to be found that way. Bam annoyed his master until he would give them another safehouse where Hatz could work.
Hatz failed spectacularly the first few times. Following Khun's suggestion, he had tried making small portions each time to see which method worked out the best, because he couldn't really remember the procedures for it. One particular sample spilled over 5 minutes after it was left to sit and presently corroded right through the wooden table while hissing and spitting like a feral beast. Hatz made a mental note to send the recipe to Wangnan Ja. That kid loved freaky chemical reactions that ended in ultimate disaster.
It made Hatz wish he had spent more time with his mother. Or any other human beings in his village. More often than not, Hatz saw more spiky training posts than actual living, breathing humans. He regrets it. How he chased so blindly after honour and power everyone else eventually faded out of sight. If Isu ever invents a time machine, like he always swears he will, Hatz is taking that thing back and forcing his childhood self to be less antisocial. To teach himself earlier how not to let rules and swordsman honour codes confine you, because the Tower doesn't adhere to such rules.
It takes absolute power to rule the Tower, but it takes true friendship and teamwork to climb to the top.
Eventually Hatz writes this in swirling letters, in his local dialect, at the bottom of the sake bottle.
And then he adds one more.
It only takes true love for the entire Tower to disappear, because the only thing I can see are your eyes.
Shibisu's purple tracksuit is stained an ugly red colour, the blood still seeping into the cotton from the wounds on his neck and face, ruby red droplets gathering into a small river, cascading down like tiny rivulets, painting the man's death white skin crimson.
Hatz hugs Shibisu close to his chest, scooping him up in his arms and feeling a pang of relief as Isu's arms lock around his neck loosely. He's alive. The blood is sickeningly warm, and Isu's pale hands are rapidly losing heat, chest barely moving.
"Why?" he shouts over the deafening explosions behind him, floating ships burning and collapsing in his wake. "Why?"
Why did you do that for me?
He feels Shibisu sigh against his chest, a sharp breath of oxygen, a rattling sound and a slight shift of the arms around Hatz's neck.
"I don't know," he replies simply. "I just reacted."
"That's not a good enough answer!" Hatz almost screams. Shibisu just gives a painful smile, like he was expecting it. "You can't take a knife in the stomach for me! You can't just do that without warning–you're not allowed to do that!"
Before Shibisu can utter another exhausted retort, Hatz barges on, hot tears stinging at his eyes. "I'm trying! I'm trying to get stronger so I can keep you safe! I try every day and train like mad from morning to night, I slay and I pierce and I cut, and sometimes I feel like I'll work myself to death – so don't let it be all for nothing!"
Their floating ship is in sight. Endorsi's at the gate, eyes wide with fear, her hands wheeling through the air as she beckoned maniacally to them. Get in, she's mouthing, get in now!
Hatz rushes past her as he sets foot on the cold metal floor of the ship. Blood dripping all the way like a telltale trail of death, he runs to the infirmary. Isu's hands are clenching at the fabric of his T-shirt, eyes wandering shut.
Khun is already there in the infirmary, the firefish glowing next to him, at the ready. Bam is on the bed next to him, looking grimy and bloody but he's sitting up in bed and still breathing and soon Isu might not be. Hatz swiftly places Isu on the bed, the blood instantly dyeing the white sheets scarlet. Khun's eyes are dark with worry as the fish winds around Shibisu's battered body, igniting him into flame.
It takes 5 minutes to heal the wound on Shibisu's stomach, and even so it would probably scar, a bumpy dark line out of place on his tanned skin. Hatz doesn't think 5 minutes could possibly go by any slower as he watches the fire fish work its magic, fingers clenched into a fist so hard he had dug out 4 half moon shapes on his palm, each pooling like a tiny resovoir of blood.
"Please don't make me break my promise," Hatz says at the end of it, head bowed and silver tears threatening to spill over once more. "Please don't do that again."
Isu looks up at him, his mouth in a lopsided grin, one half drooping in pain, but the other as sunny and cheerful as ever.
"You would have done the same for me."
The team ended up postponing Shibisu's birthday party until he made his recovery. Anaak secretly admitted this was rather lucky for her, since her handmade gift had not been coming along well and now she had more time to make it. Hatz was restrained by Bam in an attempt to bash her lizard head in after she said Isu's convenient injury was "probably a good thing". He understood it was a joke, but still. It wasn't funny.
They spent awhile reorganising the party activities. Originally, every single game was going to have alcohol involved, but it wasn't very healthy to drown an injured person with wine and let him end up with alcohol poisoning. Bam made the swift decision of replacing everyone's shots with cups of water and removing too heavy games from the list, such as the drinking contest. This was met by a considerable amount of groans, but he was firm about it. If other people got a drink, Isu would want one.
For revenge, probably, the rest of the team proceeded to downgrade Shibisu's party using the excuse of "better not excite the patient". Endorsi took down the sparkly neon lights and decided to stick with a few scented candles. Smiling evilly, Lauroe stuck a droning classical CD in the radio in place of Shibisu's favourite rap songs. Khun helped Bam calculate the number of calories in the cake so he could decide if it was a healthy amount for Isu to take in. He decided it was not, and then made a carrot cake instead of a cream one.
It was going to be the saddest birthday party ever hosted by the team, excluding the one where Bam spent his eating cake and crying next to Khun's ice coffin while the rest of them stood next to him in silence. Nothing was going to top that.
But the ill intention was clear: you made us worry, so you don't get to have fun. And if Hatz is being entirely honest, it's a lesson Shibisu needs to learn.
Shibisu summarised the entire party pretty well the second Hatz pushed him in the doors on his temporary wheelchair.
"Why does it look like we're celebrating my death instead of my birthday?"
"Then maybe try not to die so often," Hatz remarks in a sour tone above Isu's shaved head.
Rak totters by in his compressed form and grunts up at Isu, at the same time throwing a bunch of bananas into his lap. "Happy birthday. We're not happy with you, tracksuit turtle."
"I assumed as much," Isu sighs. "This is so unfair. Khun dies more often than I do and none of you do this to him."
"Doesn't mean we're not pissed at him after," Hatz replies coldly. "Also, he can come back to life. You can't."
Isu lets out a small laugh: "So passive aggressive."
Hatz pushes him toward a table where a bored Anaak and Endorsi are sitting. In front of them are 3 wine bottles filled with water. The bottles are opaque, though, so Shibisu can't see its actually water. "Oh my gosh, you're actually letting me drink!" Across him, Endorsi pulls a pencil thin smile, her muscles rigid like it was taking her entire being to make this tiny gesture.
Anaak starts the timer and uncorks the bottle with little enthusiasm, brown eyes throwing daggers at Bam's back in the kitchen. Shibisu throws it back with gusto and Hatz watches his face fall .
"This is water."
"You don't need to drink wine for a drinking contest," Hatz explains kindly. "Time is ticking."
They watch Shibisu, looking slightly ill, finish the bottle at triple the time it normally took him to finish an actual bottle of wine.
The rest of the party was rather abysmal, as Shibisu very kindly stated at the end of it as he gave his speech of the night while holding a glass flute filled with water. The only highlight was Bam's carrot cake, which Isu seemed to partially enjoy.
"We have presents for you in your room," Bam finally says in an attempt to cheer him up.
"If they're all filled with water you can have them back," Shibisu replies, dejected.
Bam shakes his head, looking scandalized. "Of course they're not."
It does seem to reignite a small flicker of hope in Shibisu's heart. Khun wheels him into his room so he could have his fun with them. Everyone else cleaned up the living room and headed to their respective rooms. Judging from how Endorsi, Rak and Anaak were looking incredibly furtive and excited by the end of it, Hatz would not have been surprised if they all had hangovers the next morning.
After Hatz takes a shower, Shibisu sends him a text on his pocket.
Isu: Is this wine or water?
Enclosed was an attached picture of the wine bottle Hatz had given him.
Hatz: It's wine.
Isu: !!!
Isu: Thank you so much. I love you!!!
Hatz sighs and switches off his pocket, running a palm over his eyes.
Isu should really stop saying stuff like that.
The next morning, Isu sits him down with a piece of paper and a pen. Hatz stares at it and feels his heart sink like lead.
He smiles bitterly. It's his turn. Finally. The confirmation that Shibisu will only ever see him as nothing but family .
He turns the sheet over, ready to sign his hopes and dreams away–
Then Hatz sees the title.
The Boyfriend Contract
Details of this contract are as follows:
The signatory will love Shibisu for as long as they will, and in return they shall receive his love repaid in equal amounts of fervour.
Both the signatory and Shibisu may exercise a healthy amount of possessiveness over the other.
Both the signatory and Shibisu must swear to love the other wholeheartedly and truthfully, with no secrets or lies. (See exhibit A: signatory tricks Shibisu into thinking water is actually wine on multiple occasions) Do not do that again.
If on any occasion this contract is broken, the offender must pay 100 million points to the other as repairs to the emotional damage caused by such an event.
"What is this?" Hatz asks.
"I can read your native language, you know," Shibisu says. "I saw what you wrote on that bottle."
And again he's underestimated Shibisu's vast intellect and collection of spoken languages. And he's never been this happy about making such a fatal mistake.
He picks up the pen, his heart swelling with fondness and happiness and so much more love. Because how can he not? It's Shibisu, with all his shameless antics and astute cleverness, his flaws and his achievements, the most honourable person Hatz has ever known, the only one he's willing to sacrifice everything for.
Hatz yanks Shibisu's hand and kisses him fiercely, years of pent up pining and frustration and passion all pouring out in this one instant, enough to reduce the Tower to mere atoms, a world with only the two of them in it.
"I'm going to frame it on my wall," Isu says as they finally part, panting slightly. "I don't care what you say."
Hatz smiles.
"You'd better."