Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

December 9th, 2020, Hillerska

“Simon, successful representation of the school and positive press, both mean a lot more at Hillerska than at any other school I've worked. It can be a door opener, I'm sure you are aware of that. People here, students, parents, teachers, everyone wants our sports teams and choir and any kind of group to be extremely successful. That can create a very... remarkable dynamic. It also means if we make it into one of the further rounds – and I do believe we have a very good chance of doing that – if we go to the quarterfinals or semifinals and then lose – people here... they will not be kind. They might completely disregard your talent and hard work.“ Miss Varli has a caring, almost concerned look on her face that Simon has no idea what to do with.

Bless her heart that she's worried about something as silly as that. mere minutes after Mr. Englund advised him with the whole class as an audience that his test results certainly weren't going to improve if he spent more time on 'painting his fingernails like a young girl' than his math homework.

Ironically he'd decided in the morning not to remove the nail polish to have an extra 10 minutes for reviewing his notes from the last lesson to be well prepared in case Englund – once again – singled him out to provide a recap. But today he didn't. Simon just couldn't win with this guy.

He looks up from his nails and the small office table in the music room, “Miss Varli, let's be honest here, to me they never are kind. They daily find ways to remind me that I don't belong here. I've gotten used to it. Losing the quarterfinals would not worsen anything.
But I will need to think about this and speak with my mother about the trips. At the moment my scholarship is 50 % talent – choir and 50 % scholar. I'm already struggling and I doubt I will manage to maintain my old grade-point average, I love the choir, you know I do, but I can't risk losing the other half of my scholarship.“ it hurts saying it.
He'd love to daydream about singing competitively on a national level, of winning. But he has learned the hard way that closing your eyes and hoping for the best in uncertain situations could lead to disaster. What good would it do him to become the most successful soloist in Hillerska history, only to be unable to come back after the summer because he can't afford it? 

The teacher looks at him with an amount of pity in her eyes that makes him physically uncomfortable. He shrugs to shake off the thoughts and to pretend it's not a big deal and then she nods and smiles and – thankfully – moves on.

“Simon, I have already spoken to the directors, the parent's representatives, and Annette after we won the local competition. And again after your Solo during the parents' weekend festivities.
The school and the scholarship board agree to support you should you decide to participate as our choir's main soloist. They want to acknowledge your talent and really support you. Us. The choir.“

“What do you mean support ?“ He is nervous to ask, feels like this could be the “something good“ he'd been hoping for and working for so hard.

“See, not only will the school take care of all trip-related costs but for every day we leave for a contest you can receive 4 hours of tutoring sessions for whatever subject you need. Once we get to the national level, we will be gone for complete weekends, and the school will cover the cost of up to 10 sessions with tutors or teachers for you to keep up.

Additionally, the weighing of the two aspects of your scholarship can be modified. I have written down all options with examples in these papers. Take them home, read them carefully and discuss this with our mother.

If you or she have any questions I will be here for you. This is a lot to take in, I understand that. And it would be a commitment to a lot of work. Take your time thinking about it, sleep on it. Maybe discuss it with your friends in the choir. I will need your answer by lunch period on Wednesday next week as registration closes that day.“

All Simon can do is nod and take the papers and form some words of thanks while leaving the room and try not to freak out.

In the spirit of the holiday season, he'd formulated wishes for... Christmas or the new year or... the universe or whatever - just last weekend hanging out with his friends: 1 - A stage with more than Hillerska students or parents as an audience, 2 - getting out of Bjärstadt for a bit and experiencing something new, and 3 - finding a way to afford the silly extra lessons Englund's class apparently requires to get him anything better than a B- and make him keep his grade-point average.

Should this really be his chance to get all of those things? By singing? By doing something he loves? It feels too good to be real.

He writes Rosh and Ayub a long and detailed message on his way to the bus and receives two wildly different responses within minutes.

King of soccer
Gonna be though, lot's of work. But I'd say go for it.
Maybe a chance to impress a talent scout or something...
And for every win or trophy or... whatever you bring home you're allowed to miss one of my games without me moping about it.
Deal ?!

King of games
Didn't you also ask for a cute boyfriend?
The school's offer totally doesn't cover that.

December 9th, 2020, a public school on the outskirts of Stockholm

Ansgar is out of breath when he arrives at their group table over 20 minutes after the beginning of their workies session. “Guys, you will never believe what happened in social science today!“

When he sits down he notices the way Tyler and David are pressed close to Wilhelm on either side and how each of them is holding one of his hands. Obviously, something had happened there also, but before he can try to ask any of them Wille looks up and directly at him “I'm okay, share your news.“

Ansgar is not stupid enough to believe he is actually fine, but sometimes it's good to give his friend's angsty brain a different topic to think about

“So, Mr. Gustavsson caught Elias watching a youtube video and tried to confiscate his phone for using it during lessons. Elias had the nerve to point out that the final exercise we were supposed to be doing – it was about minorities being ridiculed in media – could not be comprehensively answered because our outdated book didn't cover for example the trans* community.

So Gustavsson stares him down and goes “so you want to tell me that a YouTuber with blue hair wearing sunglasses indoors is providing more input to your task than the state-wide approved literature for year 1?“

And Elias! Guys! He actually got up out of his chair and was like 'with all due respect Sir, I believe you could learn something from his videos. And maybe you could start by not judging the content by the maker's look. - Honestly, that is superficial and a bit concerning' - Gustavsson was speechless for … like half a minute and then he completely lost it. And I kind of started arguing with them... So .. long story short we spend the last 15 minutes in the headmaster's office.“ Ansgar stares at his friends and can clearly tell that Tyler is upset they didn't share the class.

“What's the verdict? Detention ?“ David asks.

“Mr. Peterson was actually agreeing with us... like a lot... but Gustavsson was going on and on and on about disrespect and media use in class and now we have to do a thing. And .. ehm... Wille, we could kinda use your help with that.“ Ansgar stares at him expectantly and Wille tries to connect the parts of Ansgar's retelling he understood to how he might help... it doesn't make sense to him...

“You guys need me to tell Gustav the grandpa that One Topic has tons of videos on trans* and anti-trans* memes and stuff and might be useful to watch ???“

“What? No.“ Ansgar shakes his head in irritation.

“You know One Topic ?“ David and Tyler ask at the same time, their voices showing almost comical amounts of surprise.

“So what about...“ Ansgar starts but he gets interrupted by David immediately.

“One second Ansgar, this is important: HOW?
Like... you didn't even know Sex Education or RuPaul before we showed you! How do you know One Topic ?“ David asks, and it kind of feels offensive and mean that he reminds all of them of his media- shortcomings, so Wilhelms just stands up and takes his phone from his pocket, and demonstratively puts it on the table in front of him.

“Believe it or not my friends, this thing is not only for organizational calls with my mothers' team. It also has Apps and access to a thing called 'the Internet'.“ Wille drags the words out and overemphasizes them like Tyler would when they are making fun of him.
“And now look“ He wants to draw out the joke so he starts opening YouTube and typing “trans ally“ - but he can't even start to explain how to select a video, as he suddenly struggles to stay upright- because Tyler jumped up and wrapped their whole body around him.

He has no fucking clue what's going on but holds them tight, trying to match the death grip they have on him. “It was you. It was you and I never would have guessed.“ they mumble into his neck. “It was you."

And oh... He might have an inkling now. It's either about the plushie or - “I fucking love you.“ they say directly into his ear before letting their legs open again and sliding down his body. They grab his face and quickly place kisses on both cheeks before they're even standing completely on their own two feet again. Wilhelm feels himself turn completely tomato red at their actions and freeze when they pause a few centimeters from his lips.

There are too many emotions in the air between them and without a clue what he's feeling right now and what he should do he just stares down at his friend.

It's David who breaks the moment with an awkward faked cough and a “should we leave you guys alone maybe?!“

Wille hears him and tries to say something, or move but his heart is beating loudly, almost jumping out of his fucking chest, Tyler's eyes are watery and staring into his soul while his brain is in a state of panic trying to figure out what exactly is going on, how he should react, so he doesn't. He can't. He misses the warmth from when they were wrapped around his body moments ago, which was new and felt incredibly nice, but their lips on his cheek were all wrong and declarations of love can mean so so many things and what should he do now?

It's all too much and he hears short heavy breaths, is Tyler okay?

Their eyes are still fixed on him, tears now spilling over. They press their right hand on top of his racing heart and smile fondly, that one long blue strand of hair hanging into her eye.

“ Shut up David.“ They say and take a breath, not for one millisecond breaking eye contact.
“Bambi somehow, probably using dark magic and taxpayer money, made me a BLAHAJ -parent when I had my worst day – while he was away in fucking Germany – and never for a second thought about taking credit. Even after I spend two weeks filling my and everyone's timeline with 'BLAHAJ & me' content. He deserves to hear I love him for it.“

His heart is calming down under Tyler's hand and when they whisper “thank you“ and hug him one more time, he feels warm all over – and finally starts functioning again.

“ You're welcome.“ He whispers back. He considers telling them he loves them, too – now that it's 100% clear that they will not understand it in the wrong way, but the hug is already ending, so he simply draws a handkerchief from his pocket and hands it to them.

“Prince Charming“ they mock him and he shrugs it off and smiles back at them.

He sits down again, takes a deep breath and finally turns to the table.
“So.. what about me helping you and Elias ?“ Wille returns the discussion to Ansgar's request.

“ Well the topic we've been given for the presentation is 'the relevance of the Swedish royal family for today's diverse society“ Ansgar explains and pauses a moment to let it sink in. “And well... since Gustavsson is such a die-hard royalist and we really don't want to spend the winter break reading the books and thesis that people have written on the topic... we thought maybe... we could do a live interview in class? With you ?“ his voice is untypically small at the end of his request, timid almost.

Wille is not sure what he hates more- the thought of doing a live interview in front of a class of his peers and one of the oldest and most conservative teachers of the school, or the fact that there is no way he'd be allowed to actually do it and support his friend, even if he wanted to. The expectant look on Ansgar's face makes him think it's the latter.

He sighs.“I'm …you see, the thing is, I'm not allowed to speak on political topics. Especially not when it's like a talk or presentation explicitly mentioning the crown or queen or... anything royal. So... I'm not sure if there is any way I'm able to help.“ he lets his shoulders and head hang.

“So you won't help ?“ His friend asks for clarification.
It's frustrating Wille, but he tries not to let it show. “I can bring pizza and coffee and probably some very generalistic official texts from the media team on the wide array of groups the crown supports or something like that. “ He offers, wondering if there was anyone on the media team who'd be willing to do an interview with the guys.
“ Let me think about what I can do, okay? Right now all I know is I can't speak.“

“So don't.“ David pockets his phone and inspects the pitiful remains of black polish on his right index finger. When all eyes around the table are on him, he looks up and clarifies “Just sit there and look pretty. Isn't this how most of the official media are doing it? They take a picture of you or your brother and just write whatever they think your attendance at a benefit concert or the color of your scarf MIGHT HAVE MEANT. And the royal media team just lets them write whatever - unless it's really outrageous or dangerous or something. Maybe you could do something like that?“

That's actually not the worst idea." Tyler replies, but the bell interrupts the group before any more brainstorming can be done.

“Ah fuck, gotta run to math now. Okay guys, tomorrow after school, my house. And bring Elias, Ansgar. If all of us are involved, he'd better be there.“ Tyler says while stuffing their things back into the backpack.

“Who said I'm involved?“ David complains while getting up.

When Wille and Ansgar reply “your idea“ almost simultaneously, he only groans in return.