Chapter Text
In the next few days it became obvious that Bruce was getting closer to them. His latest location was, according to Lestat, barely an hour drive from New Orleans, which put all three of them on edge. While Louis was mostly worried about their safety and concerned with keeping Claudia out of harm's way, Lestat and Claudia were seething with anger.
Louis could understand that. The thought that he dared to follow Claudia after what he did, the sheer audacity of getting so close, was filling him with rage every time he let himself think about it. But someone had to be the voice of reason here, because his husband and daughter sure as hell weren't.
'You want to drive to the middle of nowhere, where there are god knows how many vampires waiting for us? You are two centuries old and this is the plan you came up with?' Louis was trying to keep his voice calm, while he glared at Lestat.
They were currently standing on the balcony, looking at the busy street below, while trying to come up with their next move. When Lestat proposed that they should discuss it, Louis was eager to agree. Something, which he was beginning to regret now.
'Claudia helped.' Lestat shrugged, smirking innocently, and Louis growled.
‘You think it’s funny?’ He snarled, causing Lestat to open his mouth, then quickly close them again and raise his hands in defence, that infuriating smirk still in place.
At least he was smart enough to keep silent. Louis supposed that was more common-sense than he usually exhibited. Certainly smarter than that insane plan of his.
‘If there were any other vampires, Lestat would be able to feel them.’ Claudia chimed in, causing Lestat to wince and Louis' hard gaze to drift to her.
‘And you are so sure of that?’
‘Uncle Les?’ She asked, sending Lestat a hopeful look. Lestat looked to her and then back to Louis, hesitating.
‘Well, if they hid their thoughts with enough skill…’ He trailed off and reached to squeeze Claudia’s hand, apologetic expression on his face.
‘We’re not doing that. End of discussion.’ Louis said with finality, prepared to stare the two of them down and stop any incoming protests. To his surprise Claudia only nodded, scrunching her nose in disdain, but didn’t say another word. Lestat huffed.
‘What’s your plan then?’
‘You could communicate with him if you wanted, right?’
*
‘What if he’s too strong?’
Lestat barked a laugh, one blue-grey eye peeking at Louis incredulously from behind a pillow. He was laying on his stomach on the bed, covered only by the sheet draped over his hips. Louis could still clearly see the red, angry lines he’d scratched onto his back just a few minutes ago. He studiously ignored the stirring inside him this sight brought.
‘Don’t be ridiculous, Louis.’ Lestat chided, lazily burrowing his face deeper in the blood stained pillow, inhaling the scent that, Louis knew, was his bloody sweat.
Louis blamed the fact that he found his cockiness attractive on being too well fucked. Or not fucked enough, jugding by his cock’s desperate attempts to get hard again. Either way, he hoped Lestat would never find out about it. If he ever thought this overconfident smirk he now wore caused anything other than annoyance, he would be even more insufferable.
‘How do you know he’s not?’ Louis demanded. He propped himself up on his elbow to get a better look at the other vampire as he turned his head, admiring Lestat’s curls that were now stained red, and the dried blood on his face. It made him look truly macabre, like an alluring monster, ready to lead innocents into temptation. Louis was by no means innocent, but right now he felt very tempted.
‘Did I tell you about the time I fought a three hundred year old vampire and won? And I was just a baby then!’
‘Of course not. You never tell me anything.’ Louis rolled his eyes, but couldn’t stop himself from smiling, when he saw Lestat preen, his eyes shining with excitement.
‘Well, I’m trying to tell you now, so shush.’
‘Who were they?’
‘I said shush.’ Louis chuckled but this time he stayed quiet. ‘His name was Armand.’
With that Lestat started spinning his tale, while Louis listened with rapt attention. Frankly, it seemed too unbelievable to be true and even Louis had trouble judging how much of it was real and which parts Lestat had made up. But he was still captivated, and Lestat seemed delighted when he gasped in all the right moments, and made appropriately appreciative noises, while Lestat described particularly daring acts.
‘And I've only gotten stronger since then.’ He finished with a satisfied smirk, which Louis couldn’t help but wipe off with a kiss. ‘Are you sufficiently impressed, mon amour ? Will you stop worrying now?’
Louis hummed, pretending to consider the answer, while his fingers slowly caressed their way down Lestat’s spine. He stopped when they reached the sheet covering him, then slipped his hand under. He smiled at Lestat’s soft groan and the way he pushed his ass up, pressing himself into Louis' hand.
‘I could show you how impressed I am.’ Louis said in a low voice, fingers dipping lower until he found Lestat’s opening, circling it with his thumb.
Lestat made an appreciative sound. ‘What are you waiting for then?’
Louis didn’t need to be told twice.
*
Louis closed the door behind him as he entered their home. He and Claudia were out all night, hunting and walking the streets of their city. Now he watched as his daughter walked upstairs to get ready for bed with a fond smile.
'You're not going, Louis?' Claudia asked from the top of the stairs, turning to look back at him.
Louis shook his head. He didn't feel tired yet, which was unusual. Normally, after the whole night out he was exhausted and ready to fall into deep sleep. Tonight was different though. The blood of his victim was running through him, making him buzz with energy, even after he spent the whole night chasing after Claudia.
'Not yet, but you go ahead. Goodnight, love.'
Claudia sent him a tired smile and a nod, before she disappeared into her room, leaving Louis alone in the hallway.
The house was quiet, making him wonder if Lestat was already home. He could still be out. There were another two hours till sunrise and Lestat did say that he had something to take care of tonight.
Louis refused to be insecure about it, though he couldn't stop the painful memories from coming back. Memories of all those times Lestat said he had something to take care of, only to later find out that he was cheating again.
Ever since Caudia returned Lestat gave him no reason to doubt his fidelity, and Louis made a conscious decision on his part to trust him. Still, it was difficult to quiet that little voice inside his head that was screaming at him for being too naive, too trusting, even when he knew what Lestat was like.
Louis bit his lip, trying to chase the thoughts away. It wouldn't do any good for him to start worrying and obsessing over it, not when things were finally going smoothly between them.
He walked through the house, only to find Lestat smoking, standing next to the incinerator with his back resting against the wall. The other vampire looked at ease, as casual as he ever was, still Louis couldn't help but think that the scene looked somehow staged. It didn't stop the flicker of desire, he felt low in his belly.
'You're home earlier than I expected.' Louis said, walking towards him, a poorly hidden curiosity in his voice.
Lestat was staring straight ahead with a pensive expression on his face, but his gaze focused on Louis as soon as he spoke, a pleased smile appearing on his lips. He offered Louis a cigarette, which he accepted, using the end of the one still between Lestat's lips to light it. Suddenly he felt a strange sense of déjà vu .
Lestat raised his eyebrow, chuckling lightly, when Louis took a drag of his cigarette and looked at him expectantly.
'Would you like to know where I was?'
Louis shrugged and looked down. He could feel the beginnings of blush on his face, his insides already burning with shame. Now that Lestat was offering to tell him, he felt foolish. This shouldn't have been something he needed to know. He wanted to trust Lestat. Even worse was the knowledge that Lestat was aware of Louis' insecurity and was trying to put him at ease.
Lestat was grinning widely now, reaching for Louis' hand with his own and pulling him closer.
'I brought you a gift, mon cher. '
Louis frowned and followed Lestat's gaze when he glanced towards the incinerator. There was a body lying inside, not yet burning but, judging by the lack of audible heartbeat, already dead.
He looked towards Lestat with confusion and then, when it seemed that no other explanation was forthcoming, back to the body. It took him another few seconds to realise that he knew who this body belonged to.
Antoinette.
He inhaled sharply, turning back to Lestat faster than humanly possible. He must have looked comical with his eyes wide and mouth open but unable to form words. Distantly, he felt Lestat's hand squeezing his.
'I thought you might appreciate burning her yourself.'
Suddenly he knew why this scene looked so familiar and he could hit himself for not realising it sooner. Lestat staged it to be perfectly reminiscent of what happened years ago, the first time he'd slept with Antoinette. Only this time, he was giving Louis the ending he expected back then.
'You kept your promise?' Louis asked, unable to keep a tiny sliver of wonder out of his voice.
'My side of the bargain.'
Lestat raised a hand to Louis' face, to run his fingers across his cheek and down his neck, where Louis knew he was hot and flushed with fresh blood. It wasn't difficult to understand what he meant. Louis was keeping his part of the deal and Lestat, in turn, was keeping his.
Louis thought that this realisation would make him angry - Lestat was making his behaviour contingent on Louis feeding on humans - but it felt oddly comforting. There were rules now, rules that Louis himself put in place, rules that Lestat agreed to, rules that meant they were both trying to make this relationship work again, that they loved each other enough to make effort.
'Thank you.' He whispered and pulled Lestat closer to bump their foreheads together, noses brushing as they shared air.
Louis refused to spare another thought to the body inside the incinerator, to the woman she once was, as he took a step away from Lestat and lit the fire. It was unfortunate, but her fate was decided the first time she got caught between them. A sacrifice necessary to keep their love alive and their family whole.
Lestat grabbed his hand once again and Louis moved back to stand beside him. They watched, hands clasped firmly together, as Antoinette's body was consumed by flames, breathing in the smell of burnt flesh. Louis always heard that a fire was cleansing, but he never experienced it as much as he did in that moment. It was washing away all the painful memories, all the jealousy and helplessness he'd felt for years.
Aren't I enough?
Lestat never answered back then. Now he didn't need to.
Louis turned to him and saw Lestat already looking back. They both moved at the same time, lips meeting in a hungry kiss, teeth clashing, the pain ignored as they desperately tried to get closer.
'What do you need, Louis?' Lestat gasped, as he mouthed at an especially sensitive spot behind his ear with a single minded focus.
Louis blamed his tongue and the hand relentlessly kneading his clothed erection, making him moan wantonly and causing his brain to stop working, for what he said next.
'I want you to fuck me the way you've never fucked her.' He refused to be embarrassed when he realised what he just said, even when Lestat laughed. He wasn't mocking Louis, he sounded elated, a determined glint appearing in his eyes when their gazes met.
'Louis,' Lestat tutted, head shaking in disappointment. 'Do you think she was ever a competition to you? Do you think she could compare?' Louis didn't, not anymore, he still wanted it though, wanted to see what Lestat would do. But before he could say any of that, Lestat grabbed his shoulders and unceremoniously turned him around, pressing Louis face first into the wall.
Louis' sound of protest was lost in a moan, when Lestat pulled down his pants and underwear, freeing his erection.
'Let's see if I can convince you then, qu'est-ce que tu penses? '
'Please.' Louis gasped and, at the same moment, he felt one of Lestat's fingers, already slick with oil, prodding at his entrance.
Louis realised he might get more than he bargained for, when Lestat started opening him excruciatingly slowly. His cheek was pressed into the wall, hips grinding, his cock desperate for something to rub against, but Lestat's grip on his hip was firm, keeping him away from any source of friction. Instead, he moved his fingers in and out of Louis with gentle precision, catching his prostate on every other thrust, and making no move to speed up or to actually fuck him.
'Lestat, please.' Louis gasped, fully expecting him to ignore it, just like he did with the countless pleas he uttered before. Lestat responded, but not in a way that would bring Louis any relief, like he hoped it would.
'I think you can take a little more, don't you, chéri? '
Louis wanted to cry, to scream that he couldn't, that he needed Lestat to fuck him now, but instead he just nodded his head, resigned in the face of Lestat's determination. He was, after all, doing what Louis asked him for.
The wet sounds that were accompanying every push and pull of the fingers were almost as maddening as the fingers themselves. Louis could feel how wet he was already, felt it dripping out of him and running down his thighs, but it seemed that Lestat still wasn't satisfied. The fingers left him, long enough for Louis to moan at the loss, only to come back with even more oil, spreading Louis open and slicking him up until he was sobbing with need.
Lestat shushed him, placing a line of kisses up his shoulder blade and neck. He moved to kiss away the bloody tears from the side of Louis' face that wasn't pressed into the wall, then to capture his lips, letting Louis taste himself on his tongue.
Louis was barely able to kiss him back, not with that angle and the fact that his brain seemed too muddled for anything other than clumsily sucking on Lestat's tongue. He heard Lestat chuckle against his lips, but didn't have it in him to be offended. He whined, hoping that maybe Lestat would finally take mercy, but it seemed to only amuse him further.
'We still have at least an hour until sunrise, there's no rush.' Lestat cooed into Louis' ear, making him wish he had enough strength to punch him.
'Lestat, Lestat .' Louis both hated and loved the way he was reduced to desperate cries of Lestat's name. He wasn't even pleading with him anymore, just repeating his name like a mantra, in hopes that one of those times it would convince Lestat to fuck him.
It was hard to say how long Lestat let him continue for, no doubt enjoying the way Louis was shaking beneath him, on the verge of falling, on the verge of breaking, if it wasn't for Lestat's firm hold around his chest.
'Alright, mon chéri , let's give you what you want.' Lestat's voice, sweet and merciful, as if he wasn't the one causing Louis to lose his mind, broke through the fog in his brain, making Louis groan gratefully.
Lestat pushed into him with the same slow, calculated speed he used with his fingers. With hardly any resistance from Louis' well stretched hole, he settled inside him with a long moan, wrenching an answering sound from Louis.
'Better?' Lestat asked with a breathless chuckle. His hands settled firmly on Louis' hips, pulling him backwards.
'It would be if you decided to fucking move.' Louis mumbled, squeezing around Lestat in hopes it would break the other's resolve. He couldn't do much more than that with the way Lestat held him in place, but he heard his voice hitch all the same.
'I liked you better when you cried my name.'
'I liked you better when you– Fuck…' Louis gasped, when Lestat chose that exact moment to pull back and thrust into him with a long, hard stroke.
'My name, Louis.' Lestat whispered against his ear, pinning Louis to the wall with all of his weight, while he started a steady rhythm with his hips.
'Lestat…' Louis moaned helplessly, moving his shaky hands to protect his face from slamming into the wall, as Lestat sped up his thrusts.
He felt Lestat's blunt teeth worrying at his shoulder, biting and sucking, effectively distracting him from Lestat's wandering fingers until they closed around his nipple and pinched it hard. Louis jerked back with a sound that would be humiliating in any other circumstances but, with Lestat finally pounding into him the way he wanted him to, it was difficult to care.
Lestat amused himself for a while with pinching and teasing his nipples, wringing more desperate sounds from Louis, all the while his steady pace never faltered. Louis had no idea how long they were at it, it felt like a really long time, but surely it couldn't have been that long, because the sun still wasn't up. And if he knew one thing about Lestat, it was that he would be especially careful to hide Louis away, before there would be any chance of him getting hurt.
Louis tried not to get his hopes up too much when Lestat's hand finally started moving down his chest, even though he let out a desperate string of pleas and calls of Lestat's name. Lestat was done with being cruel though. His hand closed around Louis' weeping erection, just tight enough, like he knew Louis liked, and he timed his strokes perfectly with the thrusts of his hips.
With Lestat finally set on making Louis come, he was nearing the edge dangerously quickly and, by the sounds Lestat was making next to his ear, he was too.
' Comme je l'ai dit, ' Lestat panted, quickening his movements. 'There's no one who can compare to you. You take me so well, mon amour, so perfect for me. It's as if you were made for my pleasure.' Louis whined, melting under Lestat's words, barely keeping himself upright as he could feel his orgasm approaching. 'Come for me, chéri, show me you are mine.'
And Louis did. With one last shout of Lestat's name, he came with a force that shook him to the core.
In his haze, he could distantly feel Lestat shuddering behind him. A broken gasp left his lips, as he bucked into Louis one last time and slumped against him.
He was still holding Louis upright, which was a good thing because Louis' legs were shaking like jelly, and he really wanted to spare himself the indignity of collapsing to his knees right now.
Slowly, he was coming back to himself, feeling his breathing slowing down, syncing with Lestat, who was still draped against him, humming contently.
He could barely remember how he got into their bedroom and inside the coffin, he couldn't even remember getting up the stairs. But they had to, didn't they?
That was something to think about tomorrow. The only thing that mattered now was that he was safe inside, with Lestat curled around him, and feeling like he was floating.
*
As much as Louis sometimes doubted Lestat’s judgement, in the case of Bruce, it turned out that he was right all along.
He actually was stupid enough to follow Claudia on his own and come to the house of vampires all alone, under the thin pretense of Lestat’s interest in him. The arrogance of it all was unbelievable, the naivety laughable. Louis was hardly able to believe the plan to lure him to them had worked, even though it was his plan all along.
Lestat’s face had lit up with a nasty grin when he proposed it, thrilled to play the part. Louis had known it would appeal to his thespian nature. There were few things Lestat enjoyed more than acting and acting with the added flavour of revenge made him positively giddy.
And it really was ridiculously easy. For Lestat, with his own endless supply of arrogance and ability to recognize it in others and use it for his own gain, making the other believe that he was impressed by him and wanted to meet him, was more of an insult to his skill than any real challenge.
Louis watched Bruce step into their home from across the street, waiting, letting Lestat play a good host, play with his food, a delicious mix of both, that was causing Louis to shiver with anticipation. Beside him, Claudia snarled.
‘I want to go in now.’ She demanded, voice quiet and hard as steel. Louis could only admire the rage burning in her eyes, the way her fangs extended in hunger.
‘Remember to take it slow, love. We have a whole night.’ He smiled widely, showing his own fangs, then quietly followed after Claudia.
‘...so you can imagine how thrilled I was when you came to me.’ Lestat’s hypnotic voice filtered through the door before they even opened it. ‘When I heard about what you did to my little Claudia, I thought, I simply had to meet you and return the favour. Sorry, were you saying something?’ Lestat paused, politely waiting for the reply, but none came.
Claudia opened the door and slid inside with a catlike grace, but then she stopped, frozen like a statue, eyes fixed on something in the living room.
‘And there she is. Ma chérie, please forgive me for taking a bit of liberty. I hope you didn’t have plans for his tongue.’
That was the moment Louis saw what stopped Claudia in her tracks. He wasn’t only missing his tongue, half of his jaw was gone with it, leaving a mess of mangled flesh. Louis supposed he should have been disgusted, but he couldn’t feel anything else than a violent excitement and rage. So much rage.
Now that he could see him up close it was difficult to bury the hatred, the need to hurt and destroy him, behind that wall he built for the sake of Claudia and Lestat. Louis could feel his emotions spilling over, first trickling slowly to the surface, before rising up, until he found himself clenching his fists tightly, a low hiss escaping his lips. He couldn’t come closer, he knew that nothing would be able to stop him from ripping the vampire to pieces if he took even one step into the living room.
‘I was planning to rip off his dick next.’ Lestat added with a cruel smile, which grew only wider at the pathetic whimpers that followed. There was a level of composure to him that he rarely exhibited, which made him seem even more terrifying. Not to Louis though, never to Louis.
He turned to Claudia, only to see the exact same smile on her face as she came closer. She exchanged a gleeful look with Lestat, circling their victim in a slow, predatory prowl. It should have looked grotesque, like a child playing a murderer, but she fitted it perfectly. It was another sign of how fucked up they were, when Louis felt nothing but pride.
‘I thought you promised me his head on a silver platter. Now it’s ruined.’ Claudia looked up to examine said head with a cold curiosity, tilting her face like a bird. ‘And the meathook is a bit of an overkill, don’t you think?’
‘I thought it would be more convenient to have him hanging. Less hustle, and you can release him anytime you wish.’ Lestat shrugged, taking a step closer to Claudia as they both admired his handiwork. ‘Louis, would you like a turn before notre enfant meurtrier starts amusing herself?’
Louis shook his head, feeling his fangs extending at the thought alone. ‘If I come near him now, she won’t have anything to play with.’ He said through gritted teeth and Lestat's gaze turned molten.
‘Very well. He’s all yours, chérie. ’ Lestat turned Claudia by the shoulders until she was facing him, a gentle look on his face. ‘Have fun.’ He kissed her forehead softly and Louis’ rage melted completely at the sight.
This was his family the way he always wanted it. Even if he’d never dreamed that he and Lestat would be watching their child slowly, meticulously, cut another vampire to pieces, now he couldn’t imagine anything better.
They both watched her with rapt attention, fascinated by the cold cruelty manifesting before their eyes. Minutes turned into an hour, then another, and Louis' head was beginning to feel heavy, resting on Lestat's shoulder, when Claudia spoke.
‘Would you like a drink?’ She turned to where they were sitting on the couch, Lestat’s arm leisurely thrown around Louis’ shoulders. Lestat looked at him questioningly.
‘Maybe just a little bit.’ He replied and Lestat nodded his head.
Whatever was left from the vampire was now barely moving, a constant, uninterrupted whine leaving its lips. Despite the carnage inflicted, Claudia was very diligent about leaving all the main veins intact, so when she cut a wrist blood came out in a rush, quickly filling the wine glass she placed underneath.
Louis took the first sip. It tasted like hatred and misery, soured by the violent way it was extracted. It was nothing like the blood he took from Lestat, given freely with love and intention to nourish. Still, there was a certain pleasure in consuming something with the intent of destroying it. The thought alone made him hum with satisfaction. He passed the glass to Lestat.
‘You should try reading his thoughts, mon amour, to… enhance the experience, comme ils disent .’ Lestat whispered some time later, his hot breath teasing the shell of Louis’ ear. Louis shook his head.
It was hours since Claudia started, and her focus didn’t waver for a second, even though there wasn’t much left to pull apart now. She seemed as gleeful as when she started, not showing any trace of tiring. Louis, on the other hand, felt exhausted. There was nothing left of the previous rage in him, all the adrenaline burned out, leaving sadness. Not for the vampire, but for Claudia, for what she went through. He hoped this would bring her enough peace, he hoped that it would help her move on.
Lestat quickly picked up on his change of mood, fingers gently scratching at his scalp as he looked to Claudia and back to Louis.
‘We can let her finish alone.’ Louis bit his lip. ‘I don’t think she needs us here.’
When Louis nodded his assent, Lestat got up to exchange a few words with Claudia. She nodded, listening carefully, as he talked about burning every last piece and scattering the ashes. Then, with one last caress to Claudia’s bloody cheek, Lestat turned back to Louis.
‘Come, mon cher, let’s rest.’
*
‘Do you think we went too far?’ Louis asked as they laid in his coffin, darkness surrounding them.
With the rage gone, he was suddenly left feeling empty, unsure. The images of Claudia, covered in blood with her eyes shining, were coming back to his mind with force. He was so busy fantasising about giving her a chance for revenge, so caught up in admiring her while she finally took it, he never thought how it would affect her. Would she be able to come back from something like this? Would she even be their Claudia after all of this was over?
Lestat sighed, pulling him closer. Louis could see him frowning in thought. He knew that whatever answer he settled on wouldn't give him peace. The truth was, he wasn't sure what would be more terrible to hear. Yes, they went too far, they failed their daughter, by showing her how much of a monster she could be. No, this is not the limit of their cruelty, there would never be, they are capable of even more atrocious acts and Louis was going to find that out one day.
‘You said that she and I are similar.’ Lestat said, breaking the silence. He waited for Louis to nod before he continued. ‘Then she needed it.’
‘That’s not an answer.’ Louis protested weakly, even though it was exactly the answer he craved. The third option that didn't sound as horrible, that made all of this feel justified. He realised that he didn’t want contrition, he wanted absolution, and he needed Lestat to guide him to it.
Lestat scoffed, turning his head away for a moment.
‘I’m not giving you an excuse to suffer for this, Louis. We did what had to be done. It wasn’t good or bad, it was necessary.’ He looked straight into Louis’ eyes, his own were serious and pleading at once. ‘Don’t try to turn it into another way to torture yourself or to convince yourself that you are damned. Not again.’ There was something desperately fragile in Lestat’s tone, a vulnerability he didn’t show often.
He was afraid he would lose Louis again.
When Louis realised that, he had to hold back the tears that suddenly were threatening to come out. He squeezed Lestat’s hip tightly, trying to reassure, but it did nothing to assuage him.
It wasn’t surprising. Lestat saw Louis question their morality before and every time it was something that turned him against Lestat, made him despise the other vampire a little more, and caused him to close himself off until he was an impenetrable fortress that Lestat had no way to reach.
Louis sighed, reaching his hand to cup Lestat’s face. This time it would be different. He wouldn’t let anything come between what he truly wanted, what he managed to get, despite how impossible it seemed even a week ago. This time, he wanted absolution.
‘Not again.’ He confirmed in a voice that was a little bit shaky, but filled with enough conviction to coax a cautious smile out of Lestat.
A smile that was still there when Lestat’s lips met his and later when he kissed every inch of Louis’ face, becoming giddy with relief. Louis held him tight through all of that.
It felt good to be able to justify his actions to himself. He drunk human blood as his part of the bargain, he helped torture and kill another vampire because Claudia needed to feel safe and strong again. He hoped that in time the guilt he still felt deep inside would be just a memory, that the justifications would no longer be needed. He hoped that one day he would be the vampire Lestat and Claudia needed him to be.
'We don't need you to be anything other than what you are, mon chéri. ' Lestat replied with a frown, making Louis realise that he said that last part out loud.
It was a nice sentiment, a platitude that, in the past, Louis would have welcomed with a smile and a relieved sigh. But as much as Lestat wanted to mean it and Louis wanted it to be true, they both knew it wasn't. He had his part in ruining them. With his scornful looks and words full of disdain, all those times he used morality as a shield and a sword, when he didn't even try to stop and listen, so self assured that he was right.
He shook his head, giving Lestat a soft smile, in hopes it would chase away the worry in his expression.
'That's not true though, isn't it?' He asked, curious of Lestat's answer and oddly pleased when, after a long moment, he received a resigned nod. 'We both know that I need to change for us to work this time. And I've been trying, I hope you see that.'
' Oui et j'en suis reconnaissant .'
' Au contraire , there's no need for you to be grateful. I know that you are trying, too. And I think… I think that if we both keep on trying we may do better this time.' Louis said, all of the sudden unable to meet Lestat's gaze. 'I want us to do better.' He added shyly.
When he looked back at Lestat, he was smiling, wide and unrestrained, eyes misted red. Louis wanted to see him like this all the time.
' Moi aussi, mon cœur. Je t'adore. '
Louis kissed him. A deep, unhurried kiss that, he hoped, would convey all of his gratitude for having Lestat with him, for all that he had given him. The love that he felt for him.
When they parted, it was with quiet contentment, with a newfound sense of peace and understanding. Lestat looked at him for a long moment after, before he laid his head back down on the pillow.
Louis relaxed back into his arms, but he found that he was still unable to rest. Thoughts of Claudia drifted back to his mind.
'Do you think she’s finished?'
The corners of Lestat's lips quirked into an amused smile. 'Why don't you use your senses to find out?'
Louis frowned, sending Lestat a helpless look, as he raised his eyebrows.
'I don't… You are much more powerful.'
'You are not weak, Louis.’ Lestat said in a voice that would hear no objection. ‘Especially now, with your improved diet.' He added, a pleased smirk appearing on his face.
Louis still wasn't quite sure why his feeding habits were so important to Lestat, but every time he mentioned it now it was with a sparkle in his eyes. He had always thought that their arguments about it were due to Lestat trying to control him, trying to make him more like himself. He fought against it as if it was another attempt at restricting his freedom.
Lestat never boasted about it now that Louis finally agreed, but there was a change in the way he looked at Louis. The relief he saw in Lestat's eyes every time he returned from hunting and the pleasure at seeing him full and flushed, chased away the worry that was etched there before, the anguish that Louis so often thought of as Lestat being dramatic.
'Reach out with your senses.' Lestat whispered and Louis did.
He reached past their heartbeats and the darkness of the coffin, further away until he found Claudia’s heart beating steadily. Her thoughts were carefully closed, as they were throughout the whole evening. The way they were always closed to Lestat. He stretched his senses further, away from Claudia, and heard a crackling of a fire, felt a faint smell of smoke, the unmistakable smell of burning flesh.
‘And?’ Lestat asked, still with the same smug smile on his face.
‘She’s burning him.’
‘Very good.’
Louis shivered as Lestat whispered into his ear. He felt warmth spreading through him at alarming pace and heard Lestat chuckle.
‘Do you want me to tell you how good you are, Louis?’ He said teasingly, as his fingers moved to Louis' chest and started playing with a button of his shirt.
Louis wanted that more than anything, but he was too damn tired to even entertain the idea.
‘Tomorrow?’ He asked with a disappointed sigh, then closed his eyes briefly with a content hum, when Lestat kissed a spot just under his jaw, before pulling back.
'Tomorrow.' Lestat nodded and pulled Louis until he was lying fully on top of him.
'I love you, goodnight.' Louis pecked his lips, and settled down on his chest.
He frowned, when he felt Lestat freezing beneath him, his whole body suddenly hard like a marble.
'What?' Lestat asked, his voice choked off.
Louis raised his head back to look at him, the moment that felt soft and peaceful just seconds ago now seemed strangely tense.
'I've just said goodnight, Les.' He repeated, scanning Lestat's face for any clue as to what was going on. His thumb started caressing across his ribs in a soothing motion, hoping that it would help easing whatever got Lestat so on edge.
'No, before that.' Lestat was biting his lip, his eyes wide as he stared straight at Louis. He wasn't breathing.
Louis frowned. 'I love you?'
Lestat's whole body deflated beneath him, making Louis even more concerned. He didn't like that he couldn't recognize what was going through Lestat's mind right now. And he definitely didn't like the look on his face. He looked lost and helpless, brows furrowed and jaw slack, as if he couldn't decide on one expression. But above all, he looked disappointed.
'Lestat, what's going on?' Louis asked, a bit of desperation unwittingly sneaking into his voice. 'Darling?'
Lestat blinked, once, twice, while his teeth clenched together. 'Why would you say it like that?'
'Say what?'
Lestat scoffed and turned his head away, but Louis was having none of that. Not tonight, not after things were going so well. Not again.
He gently cupped Lestat's face and met no resistance when he moved it slowly, until he could see his eyes again.
'I don't understand, Lestat. Explain it to me.'
He observed as Lestat chewed on his lower lip for a moment, before his eyes narrowed and jaw hardened, as if he was bracing himself.
'You've never said you loved me before. I’ve waited for years and when you finally did…’
Oh shit.
And when he finally did, he said it automatically, like he’d said it a million times before. Because in his mind he had. He didn’t even realise he’d never said it out loud. And all those years Lestat kept waiting, kept wondering. Knowing Lestat, with his romantic soul and a penchant for theatrical performance, he probably imagined a million ways it could happen. What Louis was sure he didn’t imagine was this. An offhand comment and a kiss on the cheek.
Louis did some cruel things to Lestat, just like Lestat did to him. He knew the other vampire well enough to hurt him with well aimed words, with his silences and indifference. This seemed to be the most cruel of them all and he didn't even do it on purpose.
Lestat was shaking his head, face carefully blank and slowly morphing into a smile that was painfully fake. He could feel him closing himself off with every second passing and he had no idea how to fix it.
'Do you know when was the first time I told you that I loved you?' Louis asked suddenly. The words came out rushed, but they made Lestat look at him, even if he was scoffing.
'What? You never did.'
Louis hurried to explain.
'Not out loud. But for the longest time it was like a chorus in my head, constantly running through my thoughts.'
It was enough to pique Lestat's interest. He cocked his head to the side, curious, even though he visibly tried to keep his reactions at bay. Louis fought down the smile that was threatening to appear.
' Quand? '
Louis hummed, pretending to be deep in thought. That earned him a slight shove from Lestat.
'Louis,' he whined. He didn't sound hurt anymore and he was looking at Louis impatiently. Louis decided he should count this as a win.
'Do you remember when you took me to see Macbeth?'
Lestat huffed, caught halfway between offence and disbelief.
'Really? You hated it.'
Louis chuckled and nuzzled into Lestat's jaw before he leaned back to face him.
'Oh, I hated every minute of it. The cast was dreadful and don't even get me started on Lady Macbeth's performance.' Louis shuddered purely for effect. He too could be dramatic if he wished, and judging by Lestat's brilliant smile he enjoyed it immensely. 'But the way your eyes shone that night, how excited you were to see them play it. You recited the words throughout the whole play, and you were much better at it then all of them combined.'
'It wasn't that difficult.' Lestat argued, but Louis could see how his whole body swelled with pride.
'That's when I thought, I love that man, I want to spend eternity with him.'
'Over a stupid play?'
'It wasn't stupid to you.' Louis countered with a raised eyebrow. 'Every time I saw you moved by an opera, every time you played the piano, every time you heard music and your eyes softened, I thought, I love you.'
'Is that all?' Lestat asked, trying to appear nonchalant, but he was betrayed by the slight hitch in his voice, the way he gripped tight at Louis' waist.
Louis shook his head and smiled fondly.
'That's just the beginning, darling.' He teased, observing the way Lestat was fighting a losing battle with the tears in his eyes. But that was fine, he knew those were happy tears. 'All those times you looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered? I loved you. When you gave me Claudia, when you helped me raise her, I loved you more than anything in the world.'
Lestat was crying now. Blood red tears were running down his temples and disappearing into his golden hair. He made a move to wipe them away, but Louis grabbed his wrist. Instead he leaned down to kiss them away, which had the opposite effect of making Lestat cry even harder.
'Louis,' he whispered, voice full of awe. His lips searched blindly until they found Louis' and locked them in a desperate kiss.
Louis let Lestat take what he needed from the kiss before he slowed it down, thumb caressing Lestat's cheek as they both found comfort in the press of their lips. Lestat's fingers on him loosened and his hands started running up and down Louis' back. A gesture that felt both possessive and reassuring. Louis wasn't sure who was reassuring who, but that was the way it had always been with them.
'I love you, Lestat.' He whispered against the shell of Lestat's ear and this time there was no tears. Only Lestat's voice, low and steady, resonating deep inside Louis' whole body.
'I love you, Louis.’