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Growing up Gavin didn’t have stable relationships, his parents giving him up after years of abuse, finally making his escape into a world without them on his own at just seventeen. They had never really cared for him, using him as their own personal punching bag slowly but surely, from the first time being slapped at eight to being beaten regularly almost every day after fifteen.
He couldn’t say he missed them, he found his own way in the world early on, never having someone to rely on was hard, always having to do it all by himself, bad relationships pushing him along as he got older, attracting the very type of people he grew up near.
But after joining the DPD and becoming a detective after many years of working hard for it and getting his education he slowly began to meet people who weren’t bad for him.
First it was Hank, and the year or so he had with him being pretty close was one he enjoyed before it all came crashing down after the accident, Hank pulling away and disappearing from his life only there in a professional setting, now more brusk rather than friendly and occasionally aggressive too.
Second was Tina, she had befriended him first, not dealing with his attitude and anger and dishing it right back at him, starting a hesitant understanding between the two of them before over the years they became friends.
Third was Chris, he was Tina’s friend first and was introduced to him in a non-work manner on one of their post-work outings to a bar, he was easy to get along with, more of a pacifist than he and Tina, somehow always keeping them out of trouble when he was there.
And the most important one to him, Nines.
It started out rough, him yelling in the android's face and pushing him when he had been told he was going to be Gavin’s partner until further notice. Nines never put up with what he did, dishing it right back to him just like Tina did, but he also never went looking for an argument, and as time went on they came to a stand off of sorts.
They worked well together, solving more and more cases than ever, Gavin slowly becoming warmer towards the other, not aggressive in any way he wasn’t with everyone else, it was just how he had learned to talk to and treat people.
Getting to know each other made Gavin realize he was beginning to care for the android, the stoic man also opening his shell to Gavin in return as he became friends with him, he really had changed from years ago, no longer against androids and making amends with Connor even.
The most surprising thing Gavin of many years ago wouldn’t believe is that he is now in a healthy relationship, no longer stuck with abusive assholes anymore, and to make it better, the very android he would have hated long ago, and did hate long ago, is the one he is with.
They do have arguments, and normally it’s when Gavin is stressed and doesn’t know how to healthily convey how he’s feeling, they had even been working on that, slowly teaching him how to tell people things without the aid of anger. But when they do fight they always apologize afterwards, never more than a few harsh words thrown at each other recklessly.
Gavin had no reason to believe Nines would ever hurt him, or leave him, but with everyone in his life he ever knew leaving him alone he has always feared it, because if it happened every other time why was this one so special?
Fighting was something Gavin did not enjoy, no matter how many times he started fights, he always regretted them and this time was no exception, he had gotten on Nines nerves somehow, being overly dismissive all day and a bit stand-offish to any attempts to ask him what’s wrong.
It must have rubbed him the wrong way, which leads him to the present, Nines and him standing in their kitchen at ten in the evening arguing.
“Why won’t you just tell me what’s wrong? I thought we were working on this, Gavin!” Nines was getting worked up, he didn’t understand why Gavin kept pushing him away whenever he clearly needed help.
“You don’t need to know everything that goes on in my mind okay! Just leave me the fuck alone, I don’t need to tell you if I don’t want to.” He was at his wits-end, it had just been a bad day, starting his day off with a nightmare about his parents didn’t help that fact.
He just wished Nines would back off this once, he would come to him when he was ready, he loved him but he was overbearing sometimes, always wanting to know what Gavin was feeling and thinking.
“I understand that but- God! You have been snapping at everyone today, I’m just trying to help you! Why don’t you get that?” Nines was only a few steps away from him, within arms reach of the other.
“Fuck you Nines that why! I’ll tell you when I fucking feel like it, otherwise it isn’t your damned business!” Gavin was getting frustrated, he was trying so hard to keep it together, just wanting this argument to be over as soon as possible so he doesn’t start crying.
“I would let you tell me when you feel like it, but you never fucking do!” As Nines ended the sentence he threw his hands up in an exasperated move, one he recently adopted from Gavin himself.
Gavin flinched back at the sudden movement, physically reeling backwards, eyes instinctually squeezing shut as his body prepared for an impact that would never happen, tensing up as his breath hitched in fear and his hands scrambled to push him back, a residual thing he had started doing early in his childhood that stuck.
“I’m sorry.” It was all Gavin could choke out as he shut down.
Nines felt his throat close at the sight, halting all movement he made as soon as Gavin moved, watching in mute horror as the man he loved flinched away from him.
“..Gavin?” His voice was small and shaky, trying his best not to startle the other more than he already did.
Gavin was pressed up against the cabinets, back roughly pushing into the edges of the counter, hands grasping the counter top tightly, his eyes still shut as his breathing picked up.
He was trying his best to pull himself from his head as images of his parents grabbing or hitting him flashed before him, trying to steady his breathing and keep it under control. Logically he knew Nines would never hurt him let alone touch him without permission or intent to harm him, but his brain wasn’t listening to him at the moment, trying to keep itself safe from everything it could.
Attempting to slowly raise his hands into a non threatening position Nines moved across from Gavin, not getting closer until he was told he could, he would never do that especially since he caused the whole incident in the first place.
“Gavin? Can you hear me?” He hoped he could at least coax him into opening his eyes and get his bearings to not freak him out more.
Gavin’s eyes snapped open when he heard Nines voice, body ridgid still, eyes flitting around quickly to try and find the other, finally landing on Nines' worried form in front of him. His breathing was still fast and uncoordinated as he forced his hands to release the hard surface under them.
He reached out his hand timidly towards Nines, hoping the other would get the hint to come closer, no matter what he had accidentally done he still wanted him close.
Nines let his own hand grasp the shaky one of Gavin’s, letting himself be tugged closer until Gavin finally leaned into his shoulder, not yet relaxed as his fight or flight mode was still ongoing, letting Gavin decide what he could do.
Hesitantly he wrapped his arms around the other’s shoulders as Gavin clutched to the front of his shirt and breathed into his neck, trying his best to comfort him the best he could. Gavin almost collapsed into his arms as they settled around him fully, letting out a shaky sob.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Gavin repeated the words only a few times before Nines shook his head against his own, softly shushing him.
“I’m the one who should be sorry, I didn’t mean to, I should have just dropped the subject, I’m so sorry Gavin.” Said man was now left a discoordinated mess in his hands, letting himself be dragged out of the bright light and cold air of the kitchen into their bedroom.
Nines led them both to the bed, guiding Gavin onto it before crawling in with him, all previous arguments forgotten and only thinking of taking care of the other now. He settled them both under the blankets as Gavin’s grip on him didn’t loosen, wrapping himself back around him.
“It’s okay, it’ll be okay, I promise. It’s only us here, I love you so much.” He pressed a soft kiss into Gavin’s forehead.
Gavin gave him a small noise to indicate he could hear him, chest rising and falling slowly now that he was surrounded with comfort, away from the outside world and finally exhausted after the stressful and eventful day he had.
“I’ll be here when you wake up, we can talk about it tomorrow, just go to sleep, I’ll be here.”